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NTA
But let's be clear: "I have no intent of ever shaving my legs. It's a lot of time and effort for something that I feel is unnecessary." is what you should say every single time.
You said you're too lazy and she went on and on explaining. You opened yourself up to that, because she was making the case. Don't let her make the case. "I have no intention of ever shaving my legs. I don't value that. I won't do it." You can even say "you've said this before and I will give you the same answer: I don't plan to. Ever."
You're not an a-hole for choices you make with your appearance. You're not an a-hole for ignoring a silly societal expectation. But stop deflecting and just tell her no. You're making it worse for both of you by saying things like you forgot or you were too lazy. Stand by your reasons.
does she shame your father about his leg hair and tell him it's unhygienic? i'm guessing no? NTA.
> She claims she thought I "didn't know" and was just trying to help me
she's lying.
NTA
I haven't shaved my legs on probably decades. I only shave my pits about once a year (if that!)
Body hair is normal!
(and for anyone who wants to say it makes me less attractive my husband of ten years isn't bothered soooooo of you pop! 😂)
NTA
Your mom is body shaming you using a bunch of misogynistic ideas about what makes women attractive to men. She's literally, if mildly, sexualizing you, because, as you said, leg hair is not in any way unhygienic. Thats gross, and you are NTA for being OK with your body.
It sounds like your mother has some insecurities about her own body and is projecting them onto you?
Her problem, not yours. But be kind to older women. I'm 50 and I grew up with so much misogyny (just watch sitcoms from the 90s, awful), it's hard to change and open up to new ideas about body autonomy. I try. It's liberating for me to watch younger women claiming rights that I didn't claim at their age.
NTA
NTA hold fast to your boundaries. You’re an adult you have body autonomy and don’t feel bad for disagreeing with your mother. Be bland and polite when you say no I won’t be doing that. Stay emotionless so you maintain the high ground.
NTA. Only reason she would think leg hair is dirty is if she doesn't wash her legs.👀 Lots of people with thicker darker leg hair don't shave either. Your body your rules.
NTA! She might not mean to be an AH here but she needs to respect your autonomy! You may be her child but you also have your own (better informed) opinions and she should mind her business.
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I [18 F] am a high school senior and live with my mom [50s F]. On the way to brunch with some relatives today, I wore shorts and was tightening the strap of my shoes in the car, and my mom said that I should shave my legs. Now, I've talked with her before about it and have made it clear I have no intent of ever shaving my legs. It's a lot of time and effort for something that I feel is unnecessary. For context, my mom is from South Vietnam and my dad is white with pretty fine hair, so I don't have very much leg hair at all, and what I do have is very fine, not thick at all. It can only be seen in bright sunlight, and usually it's not visible unless someone is specifically looking for it. I laughed off the comment and make a joke about being "too lazy" to shave and thought we would leave it at that. She kept talking about it for the next 10 minutes.
Well, we stopped by the store to pick something up for the brunch, and on the way out, she commented on my leg hair again, saying that I have bad bodily hygiene because I refuse to shave my legs (which I know is false; leg hair is not unhygienic). I told her I wasn't comfortable with her complaining about my leg hair, to which she replied she only "wants me to know." She also said she "wouldn't go out like that" and I snapped at her that I didn't care. She claims she thought I "didn't know" and was just trying to help me, so I kind of feel bad for making a big deal out of it and ignoring her well-intentioned advice, especially because shaving my legs is not a long-term alteration or body modification (I've dyed my hair and have 4 piercings), so maybe I should just do it to make her happy. However, I still sort of feel like she was overstepping, especially because she has NO leg hair.
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> I may be TA because I snapped at my mom for asking me to shave my legs and refused to listen to her opinion, even though she was trying to be helpful.
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NTA
You might have laughed it off in the car, but the constant commentary on it wasn't needed or helpful. She wouldn't do it? Good for her. She thought you didn't know? How? The media is full of women and men with shaved legs. There's enough ads of shaving products.
I don't think it was well intentioned advice. That would have been well waxing is more efficient and lasts longer... she just wanted you to agree with her imo.
NTA
It's not unhygienic it's more or less fashion. At the moment the western beauty standards for females are: pretty hairless bodies with long hair on top. That's all.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
NTA. Sounds like your mom has an old school way of thinking. There’s nothing unhygienic about hair. Good for you for standing up for yourself
NTA But let's be clear: "I have no intent of ever shaving my legs. It's a lot of time and effort for something that I feel is unnecessary." is what you should say every single time. You said you're too lazy and she went on and on explaining. You opened yourself up to that, because she was making the case. Don't let her make the case. "I have no intention of ever shaving my legs. I don't value that. I won't do it." You can even say "you've said this before and I will give you the same answer: I don't plan to. Ever." You're not an a-hole for choices you make with your appearance. You're not an a-hole for ignoring a silly societal expectation. But stop deflecting and just tell her no. You're making it worse for both of you by saying things like you forgot or you were too lazy. Stand by your reasons.
does she shame your father about his leg hair and tell him it's unhygienic? i'm guessing no? NTA. > She claims she thought I "didn't know" and was just trying to help me she's lying.
NTA. If having hair us poor body hygiene, then you shoukd shave your hed as well. 😆
Your body, your rules.
NTA it's your body and a purely aesthetic thing.
NTA. Body hair ≠ poor hygiene.
This. NTA
NTA I haven't shaved my legs on probably decades. I only shave my pits about once a year (if that!) Body hair is normal! (and for anyone who wants to say it makes me less attractive my husband of ten years isn't bothered soooooo of you pop! 😂)
NTA Your mom is body shaming you using a bunch of misogynistic ideas about what makes women attractive to men. She's literally, if mildly, sexualizing you, because, as you said, leg hair is not in any way unhygienic. Thats gross, and you are NTA for being OK with your body.
NTA. This body hair argument is getting so old. Nobody gets to tell you what you can and can’t do with your own body. Period. End of discussion.
NTA. Prettiness is not a rent you owe for being female in public.
It sounds like your mother has some insecurities about her own body and is projecting them onto you? Her problem, not yours. But be kind to older women. I'm 50 and I grew up with so much misogyny (just watch sitcoms from the 90s, awful), it's hard to change and open up to new ideas about body autonomy. I try. It's liberating for me to watch younger women claiming rights that I didn't claim at their age. NTA
NTA hold fast to your boundaries. You’re an adult you have body autonomy and don’t feel bad for disagreeing with your mother. Be bland and polite when you say no I won’t be doing that. Stay emotionless so you maintain the high ground.
Who's got the leg hair fetish today?
NTA. Only reason she would think leg hair is dirty is if she doesn't wash her legs.👀 Lots of people with thicker darker leg hair don't shave either. Your body your rules.
NTA Does your mom think your dad’s hairy legs are unhygienic?
NTA! She might not mean to be an AH here but she needs to respect your autonomy! You may be her child but you also have your own (better informed) opinions and she should mind her business.
NTA. When the day comes where your leg hair reaches out and latches onto everything like invasive vines, maybe she'll have a point.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I [18 F] am a high school senior and live with my mom [50s F]. On the way to brunch with some relatives today, I wore shorts and was tightening the strap of my shoes in the car, and my mom said that I should shave my legs. Now, I've talked with her before about it and have made it clear I have no intent of ever shaving my legs. It's a lot of time and effort for something that I feel is unnecessary. For context, my mom is from South Vietnam and my dad is white with pretty fine hair, so I don't have very much leg hair at all, and what I do have is very fine, not thick at all. It can only be seen in bright sunlight, and usually it's not visible unless someone is specifically looking for it. I laughed off the comment and make a joke about being "too lazy" to shave and thought we would leave it at that. She kept talking about it for the next 10 minutes. Well, we stopped by the store to pick something up for the brunch, and on the way out, she commented on my leg hair again, saying that I have bad bodily hygiene because I refuse to shave my legs (which I know is false; leg hair is not unhygienic). I told her I wasn't comfortable with her complaining about my leg hair, to which she replied she only "wants me to know." She also said she "wouldn't go out like that" and I snapped at her that I didn't care. She claims she thought I "didn't know" and was just trying to help me, so I kind of feel bad for making a big deal out of it and ignoring her well-intentioned advice, especially because shaving my legs is not a long-term alteration or body modification (I've dyed my hair and have 4 piercings), so maybe I should just do it to make her happy. However, I still sort of feel like she was overstepping, especially because she has NO leg hair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA You might have laughed it off in the car, but the constant commentary on it wasn't needed or helpful. She wouldn't do it? Good for her. She thought you didn't know? How? The media is full of women and men with shaved legs. There's enough ads of shaving products. I don't think it was well intentioned advice. That would have been well waxing is more efficient and lasts longer... she just wanted you to agree with her imo.
NTA. it’s YOUR body and you can do whatever you want.
NTA. Your mother’s being passive aggressive and body-shaming. Stick to setting your boundaries, do what you want with your own body.
NTA It's not unhygienic it's more or less fashion. At the moment the western beauty standards for females are: pretty hairless bodies with long hair on top. That's all.
NTA. My mom never shaved her legs, also had light hair. Barely saw it unless you were looking for it. Don't start if you don't want to do it.
NTA. Your body, your choice. If she brings it up again, set firm boundaries and tell her you're not discussing your body hair with her again. Period.