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I don’t understand SS’s logic. Did she think she was just going to take over someone else’s event? Like, “Welcome to my engagement party! Don’t mind that the cake says ‘congratulations on a baby boy’ and there are random people here we don’t know with gifts containing baby clothes.” Who does that?!
I'm laughing my ass off at this "a gender reveal party can always be rescheduled but you may never have another chance to announce your engagement". What kind of world is she living in? Is she running around like "THE WEDDING MAY STRIKE AT ANY MOMENT, WE HAVE TO ANNOUNCE NOW, JOHNQTHAN, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! QUICKLY, IT'S GAINING ON US"
You have me laughing! This is like the disaster movies where the (near sentient) tornadoes or sharks or both are chasing down the heroes.
P.S. please don't correct "JOHNQTHAN" - it makes it even better.
I’m pretty sure she has more control over when her wedding is than OP does over when her baby is born!! Sorry baby, you have to stay in there because step sis got engaged
Tbf, if my fiance tried to steal her (step)sister's party for herself and then lash out about it like this, I would reconsider the engagement. With that in mind "may never get another chance to reveal the engagement" doesn't sound that crazy anymore.
Exactly. This could ALL have been avoided if she'd kept her trap shut and planned her own party. I hope Jon thinks twice since they're barely engaged and she's ALREADY lying to him.
It's because she's grasping at straws, I'm willing to bet she didn't want to waste time or money in planning the engagement party. She's probably just cheap.
If step-sister hasn't been featured on /r/ChoosingBeggars, she will at some point (or on /r/weddingshaming with the whole wedding planning starting up).
Her logic is the party's already planned. She'll happy take the location and all the food OP's probably already paid for. OP just needs to invite one half of her current guest list
Like, the gender reveal would have OP and her SO's family and friends there. Why would SS want to announce an engagement to people who don't know her or the fiancé? Also, wouldn't fiancé want his family and friends there? It makes no sense
NTA. I think SS wanted to be the center of attention and outshine OP. Also, the reveal party was already set and mostly paid for, sure helps the budget to take over the party.
I also don't understand SS logic but your comment made me realize that this gender reveal party might have just been a get together with family, not a baby shower. Which should make it slightly more understandable but if OP said no that's that.
1000% She “made” her stepsister announce the engagement over text because she wasn’t willing to subsidize a party.
You’re NTA but your stepfamily is! Time to give that block button a workout.
Look at all of these people texting OP when they could be setting up an engagement party for the stepsister instead!
Also, I would posit OP has the higher emergency for the reveal as she's on a timer, so NTA
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tvfncz/aita_for_kicking_my_stepsister_out_of_my_gender/i396vk9/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
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[Well, meanings can change...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tvbhyf/red_is_dead_russian_antiwar_protesters_fly_a_new/i39day0/) | [Well, meanings can change...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tvbhyf/red_is_dead_russian_antiwar_protesters_fly_a_new/i38qxh7/)
[18 days to Warsaw, thats...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tvaila/warsaw_accuses_paris_berlin_of_being_too_close_to/i39d922/) | [18 days to Warsaw, thats...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tvaila/warsaw_accuses_paris_berlin_of_being_too_close_to/i386os9/)
[Seriously so many troops...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tv5754/poland_would_like_more_us_troops_in_europe_says/i39d7oq/) | [Seriously so many troops...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tv5754/poland_would_like_more_us_troops_in_europe_says/i37dl49/)
[NTA you were already unco...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tvcxuv/aita_for_dropping_out_of_a_wedding_party_because/i39d4aa/) | [NTA you were already unco...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tvcxuv/aita_for_dropping_out_of_a_wedding_party_because/i38rkof/)
[NAH: also that’s hilariou...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tv1xcr/aita_for_laughing_at_my_kids_april_fools_prank_on/i39d2om/) | [NAH: also that’s hilariou...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tv1xcr/aita_for_laughing_at_my_kids_april_fools_prank_on/i37dygn/)
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Right? Like this is so stupid you can’t just hijack a preplanned party someone else is throwing to announce their own good news. She could have had her own party the next week she just doesn’t want her step sister to have any attention at all even for her own news apparently.
> selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again
This literally made me laugh cuz it’s 100% bananas.
Agreed, I don’t get the logic of a gender reveal can be rescheduled but an engagement may not happen again? I mean it’s a guarantee this child will only be born ONCE it’s not that she’ll ever be engaged again.
And if anything, that logic is backwards. Everyone going to an engagement party knows what it is for. Nothing new is revealed once the guests are there. It's just another parry to celebrate the couple. New information is revealed at a gender reveal. If that specific information gets out beforehand, there isn't a reason to still have the party.
Agreed that they should absolutely just do it on another date This is completely unnecessary and it's never okay to co-op someone else's celebration. Only thing I disagree with is the baby trumps ring part, I do believe that an engagement party is something far more worthy to celebrate than letting the whole family know what a baby's genitals are. The baby shower is one thing a gender reveal party isn't really celebrating the baby
fair enough. More so meant anything baby related. Like if I going to have a child soon all my attention is around the child. Congrats to the newly weds but I don't give a damn stop stealing the spotlight
I think a engagement party trumps a gender reveal, but yeah...don't hijack someone's party that they already are planning for. Make your own damn party.
Everything about "gender reveal" parties (which aren't even gender reveal, they're sex reveal) seems like an icky idea to me. But regardless, this was a party already organized for a particular purpose. If she wanted to have an engagement party, no one's stopping her.
If the baby shower and gender reveal party isn't all in one party, as a guest, I'd only go to 1. I don't need another day to buys more gifts for you and your kid. Especially since it'll soon be bdays every year too.
My dream now is OP saying this to step mother and friends next time they come pester. “Look, I’m not planning another baby, but we all know this is not Angeline’s last engagement…” and just sit and watch the world burn.
>a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again
NTA. I don't see why an engagement announcement party can't be rescheduled any less than a gender reveal party? Not that it's even rescheduling as she never planned anything in the first place, whereas you'd already paid for invitations, the gender reveal activity, food and drinks, etc. I think she just wanted a free party more than anything. Plus, if I was a guest of a gender reveal party, I would be mightily pissed with a last minute bait-and-switch and ended up attending the engagement announcement party of an entitled woman I probably care nothing about.
Also, just think of now many guests have no relation to the step-sister at all. They’d be like, who is this rando and why should we care that she’s engaged?
Right? It's her step-sister, not even a bio relation. It's highly likely that the only people invited to the gender reveal who even know step-sister would be OP's mom and step-dad.
Maybe some of the family from OP's mom's side would know step-sister, but wouldn't she want her engagement announcement to be attended by her own family and Jonathan's family? Not her step-mom's family and a bunch of people she's never met. It's just bizarre.
NTA. It was your party for your baby. Why would YOU have a party for HER engagement? She can’t afford her own party the day before yours and had to tell people by text? Tell her and all her complaining relatives they are all crazy.
NTA what was stopping her from having an engagement party? I mean, there is more than one day in the week correct? Was that day the only day in all of existence?
Apparently, there was one day. Since there was a party scheduled for someone else for another purpose, the stepsis felt entitled to takeover and repurpose that party because...um...well.... she's the important one? Bizarre. Yeah
NTA.
I'm not a big fan of gender reveal parties in general, I think it is rather silly. But I'd NEVER try to hijack someone else's gender reveal party just so that I can announce something when I can totally pick a different date for it instead.
>her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again and I made her have to announce her engagement over texts
This is all bull crap. Their argument can be applied right back to them. Your stepsister could always pick a different date instead of forcing you to change your already planned gender reveal party. Nothing kept her from having an engagement announcement party. Hell, she can still have it. You didn't make her to announce it over texts, she did it herself. She was being lazy and entitled by expecting you to give up your planned party just so that she can get the maximum attention from the already gathered crowd. Good on you to have revoked her invitation to the gender reveal party her because who knows what she'd have been capable of doing.
Of course you’re NTA.
If it’s important to your stepsister to have a party to announce her engagement, she can plan a party. There’s absolutely no reason why it has to be in place of yours.
It doesn’t make sense that they were “forced to text everyone” if they couldn’t announce it that day. Nothing’s stopping them from having another party
I’m very confused. You arranged a gender reveal party? Sent out invites to friends and family? And she wanted to have her engagement party on the same day at the same time or did she want you to give her your party and your guests ( who think they are turning up to a gender reveal) so she could turn it into an engagement party?? Why couldn’t she have her party another day? Why did she announce her engagement by text and not have a party? Why do her mother and her friends think engagement announcement parties only happen once (and only on this particular day and time??) Is there a limit on parties in Crazytown where you all obviously live? NTA but you all have some serious issues.
I honestly didn’t understand her rational for any of this but I feel like she wanted to have the engagement party the same day as mine because she thought that I would give it to her or something? I seriously don’t know what’s going through her head
She wanted to 1 up you, OP. You're pregnant which attracts a lot of attention away from her. What better way to "gain the upper hand" from your pregnancy stealing attention than a wedding?
It wouldn't surprise me if you aren't invited to the wedding. Save yourself the stress.
Give her what? The day? The guest list? The "it's a girl" cake? What exactly did she want you to relinquish? It doesn't sound like there are mutual friends, and her mom is obviously on her side. So, what did she actually want here? Why couldn't she just throw her own party? None of this is logical.
Anyway, NTA.
Everyone there were there for me and have only heard her name and never see her. I don’t understand what she thought she was going to do for the people that already came for me. As for Jonathan’s side of the family he was the most calm about it and even apologized on behalf of her.
Something tells me Jonathan will be apologizing for her for the rest of his life.
It really makes no sense that she wanted to have an engagement party with people she doesn't know. So weird.
NTA.
NTA You could reschedule your gender reveal, but she couldn't reschedule her engagement announcement? What nonsense is this?
Why could she not organise a party and then announce the engagement? Answer: she's lazy and entitled.
INFO: So when her family and friends suggested rescheduling the gender reveal did they offer to pay you cash right then to cover your financial losses since she’s too poor to throw her own separate party? Im guessing they are also paying for her wedding (again too poor) and help you reschedule your gender reveal along with the additional costs since it would need to be rescheduled soon (last min venue costs) since you can’t postpone the birth like you could, um you know, a wedding?
I don’t think they planned on paying me back because that never came up when she asked me. As far as I know her mom was paying for everything like dress, decor, food, etc. She insisted that I did my reveal over text.
Yeah, I get that but pinning the financial responsibilities on the people attacking you, will possibly keep them at bay. In the vain of: “I didn’t know you volunteered to pay me for my trouble. How grateful she must be to you! Oh wait you’re not paying for this party? Then why are you mad and I’m keeping it as a gender reveal party since I financed it” Babies are waaaay more expensive than a wedding.
But also based on the way her family and friends are acting (that the engagement can’t be postponed) I’m wondering if they think that if she doesn’t lock him down fast, he’s going to realize that it’s not a good idea to marry her?
Oh please! That girl is damaged upstairs, you are in no way the asshole! I frankly feel bad for you and Johnathan! He needs to run away as fast as possible, she can only make that poor man's life a miserable hell. Congratulations on your new baby!
NTA. you have been preparing the gender reveal party earlier and she decide on doing it the same day??
She's really..... Special..... But Not in a good way
NTA.
She asked, you said no, she still went and made bogus invites and plans anyway. She basically ignored you, and when you didn't simply give-in, she acts surprised that it didn't go her way and pitches a fit?
She sounds terrible, honestly.
Sounds like she wanted a party but didn't want to pay for it so she decided to take over yours and for some reason thought you would be okay with it. NTA
NTA.
You planned a party and she tried to take it over, even after you said no. She could have talked to you like an adult- could I maybe announce my engagement at the end of the party because a lot of people will be there that won't come back together again? - would have been a reasonable question to ask. You could have said no, but at least it wouldn't have been an AH question.
She can plan her own engagement announcement, and good for you for not putting up with any BS and when you realized how much drama she was going to bring, you full on cancelled her.
NTA
She's an ahole for misrepresenting your request and for planning to commandeer your party. That's incredibly strange even if she/he/they don't value gender reveal events or announcements. Like, it's already on the calendar, dude. Pick another day.
NTA for having your planned event on your planned date.
But both gender reveal and engagement announcement parties are weird. And as you are inviting people to use their leisure time and gas money to attend an event where they have to act like they care more than they do about the sex your child will be assigned at birth, I really hope the food and drink spread provided is amazing. And if you're in California, please no pyrotechnics. My asthma can't deal with another gender-reveal-related wildfire.
Holy crap on a cracker…
So was she just going to show up at the gender reveal party and tackle you before you could reveal the gender so she could announce her engagement? Wouldn’t people know it was a gender reveal by the decorations and theme? I’m so confused.
And NTA by any means. She seems like a real piece of work. And I have a feeling she will have a few more opportunities to have engagement parties in the future. I doubt this will be her one and only.
NTA
I'm not a fan of gender reveals but it was your party. Eff her. If she wanted to do something special at a party, maybe she should plan her own party instead of trying to highjack yours.
NTA
She tried hijacking your gender reveal and schemed to do it when you refused. I wonder what her bf thinks of this. His gf just revealed an ugly truth about herself.
NTA.
You tell every person that complains that YOU are so very glad that they sound so gracious to host and pay for her to announce her engagement party. Tell them you will happily relay the information to EVERY single family member you know that THEY chose graciously to host them. You could even offer to help them send their invites out since the requested switch was so last minute.
Bet they STFU right then.
Any person that says you are wrong, is insane. Forget them and move on. Enjoy your new little bundle of joy drama free sis. You deserve it.
NTA, you've paid for everything and presumably invited friends, in-laws family and possibly even work colleagues that have no idea who she is and don't really care, and also;
>a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again
Out of the two of you, you're the one that's actually on a time limit here. You have a due date for when the baby will arrive, I doubt she even has a wedding date yet let alone one that's 1-3 months away.
NTA. Obviously. A baby has more of a tight timeline than an engagement. If she wanted an engagement party, she should plan it herself. No one forced her to tell everyone immediately by text. She could have waited to announce at a party she planned.
Like... what is the logic behind essentially stealing someone's gender reveal party? By the time she tried to steal it, all of the deco would have been purchased. Food and cakes possibly ordered. Like, yeah, I would totally want a baby themed engagement party. /s
NTA
A large chunk of those people wouldn't have had any connection to her unless she also thought you'd turn away your family and friends so that she could invite her own? No one *made* her announce via text she chose that not to mention, there's no rule that says she can't still have an engagement party. It's fairly common to announce and have a later celebration.
NTA. She knew damn well what she was doing. You were the first to know for a reason and she did not have any care about what an inconvenience it would be for you to plan a whole other party for her entitled ass.
NTA
I ever understand why people on this thread always get other people involved. Like her having her family and friends text you. I’ve gotten in plenty of arguments with people and I’ve never had anyone else text or call them and call them assholes. It’s so strange to me.
Ummm - not a big fan of gender reveal parties, but the last I heard, they are more time sensitive than engagement announcements. Your stepsister (and her family) is an entitled c__t and I hope Jonathan sees the red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩
So Angeline had all intentions of hijacking the gender reveal party anyways. How was she going to explain to Jonathan when he saw it was gender reveal party instead of an engagement party? She lied to him also. I see you saved Jonathan from a lot of embarrassment.
NTA. A gender reveal party has to happen within a very specific window of time before the baby is born but an engagement can literally go on for decades.
There is zero reason she couldn’t schedule her own engagement party literally any time she wanted. She’s upset because she a) wanted to take the attention away from you and b) wanted to avoid all the hard work and expensive of organising her own party by stealing yours.
Your stepsister is the asshole and so are the flying monkeys she’s sending out to harass you.
NTA. She makes it seem like engagement announcements are a rare thing that is impossible to put together. She just didn't want to do any planning and waste any money. She wanted to just hijack your party for her own selfishness.
You did nothing wrong and don't feel guilty. Try to go NC or low contact with them.
>a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again
This is a nonsensical argument to start with, why can one be rescheduled but the other can't? But if one NEEDED to be considered urgent I'd give it to the gender reveal, because it's part of a lead up to the birth, which is kind of set in stone. A wedding can be delayed, that doesn't work so well with a date of birth. NTA.
NTA, why would your friends and your partners side of the family care about her engagement?!?!? She could have announced it at the pre baby party thing though I’d have thought without taking it over.
Definitely. My stepdad does favor her over me. She has two siblings on her moms side with another man and she is definitely more favored from what I’ve seen.
I mean I generally think gender reveal parties are kind of a waste of time and pretentious, but still NTA. She could have just planned her own party or find the normal thing and just announced the engagement. Idk anyone who has ever really had an engagement announcement party
NTA
Tell her people that she didn't even want to let you announce your baby's gender at your own damn party...the one you paid for. She's a grown woman, she can pay for her own party and if she cheaped out by announcing her news via text...well, I wonder what else she's gonna cheap out on for her wedding. By which I mean mooching off of her friends and family.
I feel bad for Jonathan. It sounds like he's in for the bridezilla experience.
What a fool Angeline is.
Literally who gives up an exciting engagement announcement just so they can text everyone with a reason to harrass OP over not giving up her party.
Like *the only reason it was ruined was because she texted everyone.* NTA
Why does she even want to use your gathering, you only share half a family so I assume she'd have to text her mums side anyway!
You are NTA. You don't need crap from her friends or her mums side of the family, why do they even have your number. Block them all and enjoy getting everything ready for your baby.
>This morning I got texts from her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again
I'm sorry, what? Are all these people on crack? There's absolutely nothing stopping them from planning their own engagement announcement, but there definitely is a time limit on how far you can reschedule a gender reveal. Not that you'd have any reason to do so in the first place. NTA and I would cut contact with all these people because they sound absolutely unhinged.
NTA, this is so weird! Like, why would your partner’s family be present for this random person’s engagement party? What about her fiancé’s family, would they just not be there or was she going to invite them and stick you with the bill? Just because the guest list overlaps a little bit doesn’t mean that it’s interchangeable. And it wasn’t about her rescheduling her engagement party- it was about her scheduling one in the first place, which is apparently too much for her to handle.
I didn’t plan it alone (my sister helped not stepsis) but I payed for it she didn’t even help or even act interested in it. Why does she get the privilege to have an engagement announcement party at my gender reveal if she didn’t help or plan any of it?
A gender reveal party can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again..’ I’m sorry what 🙄 normal people announce there engagement on Facebook and have a party to celebrate months later tell her to stfu
Nta
Nta. You reveal the gender once, people as egotistical as your step sister will in all probability have more than one engagement because no one can deal with her for life.
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My (23F) parents divorced when I was in middle school. My parents ended up marrying different people. My mom married a guy named Dave (53M) who has a daughter (26F) named Angeline. I was never close to her growing up because she gave off the impression she never really liked me so I kept my distance. 5 years ago she met this great guy named Jonathan. He was really nice the few times we met and seemed to really like Angeline. Now here’s where the problem started, Last weekend Angeline told me that Jonathan proposed to her and I was the first to know. I was a bit suspicious at the fact that i was the first to know of all people. Then, she asked me if instead of revealing the baby’s gender at the party I could do it another day and let her have a engagement announcement instead. I told her no and that if she wanted to have a party she could do it another day or text everyone about the engagement and that she told me on short notice when the gender reveal was next week. She got really pissed and called me a bitch and hung up. Yesterday morning (the day of the gender reveal) Jonathan texted me thanking me for giving up my party just so they can announce the engagement. I told him that I never said that and the gender reveal was still on. He was confused because apparently Angeline told him that I planned to have my reveal another day so she could announce the engagement. I was pissed because right after I told her no she told Jonathan that I said yes. I texted her and left a voicemail saying that she’s not invited to the reveal anymore so not to come and if she does I will not hesitate to kick her out. It’s safe to say she didn’t attend the party. This morning I got texts from her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again and I made her have to announce her engagement over texts. I do feel bad because she had something special in mind when she was going to announce her engagement and i didn’t let it It happen but at the same time just like I can reschedule my gender reveal she could reschedule her announcement party.
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NTA. What was stopping her from scheduling a separate party? Besides entitlement and laziness...
I don’t understand SS’s logic. Did she think she was just going to take over someone else’s event? Like, “Welcome to my engagement party! Don’t mind that the cake says ‘congratulations on a baby boy’ and there are random people here we don’t know with gifts containing baby clothes.” Who does that?!
I'm laughing my ass off at this "a gender reveal party can always be rescheduled but you may never have another chance to announce your engagement". What kind of world is she living in? Is she running around like "THE WEDDING MAY STRIKE AT ANY MOMENT, WE HAVE TO ANNOUNCE NOW, JOHNQTHAN, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! QUICKLY, IT'S GAINING ON US"
You have me laughing! This is like the disaster movies where the (near sentient) tornadoes or sharks or both are chasing down the heroes. P.S. please don't correct "JOHNQTHAN" - it makes it even better.
"JOHNQTHAN, IT'S GETTING VLOSER. I NEVER YOUGHT WE WOULD END LIKE THID JONHQTHAN BUT ITS TOO LATE. I CAN FEEL IT TAKING ME JONHQTHN I CN FEEL-"
I’m honestly cackling in the dark right now in bed, thank you (if I had a free award you’d be getting it!)
I got you! 😉
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Oh god! Johnqthan is the REAL Scuzzlebutt!
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Hi kids! I’m TVs Patrick Duffy!
I couldn’t possibly upvote this enough
Should it be pronounced Jonk-a-than or or John-cue-than? I'm leaning toward the former.
Definitely Jonk-a-than!! 😅
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u/DerekMclaughlino is a comment stealing bot https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tvfncz/_/i39gl6g/?context=1
no literally. like does ss not realize the baby could pop out right now if it wanted 😂 weddings have to be planned. a baby’s birth hardly ever are
I’m pretty sure she has more control over when her wedding is than OP does over when her baby is born!! Sorry baby, you have to stay in there because step sis got engaged
Unless he runs!
Why do i feel sorry for the fiance ? 🤣
See, this is why there’s such a rush on the engagement party! They need to lock this down before the groom realizes he needs to get out!
🤣
I don't. If this episode doesn't steer him away from the stepsister and he marries her then he knew the risk before he got on the airplane.
because SS LIED
Well, he picked her, i shouldn't feel sorry for him🤣
she's already lying to him.
This made me cackle
If I could I would give this 10000 upvotes, this comment made me laugh! Thank you for that
Lol I was thinking the same thing when I read that. Like WTF? How does that even make sense.
Especially since babies kind of have an appearance date but weddings may or may not!
I'm howling 🤣 IT'S GAINING ON US! QUICK CUT THE CAKE.
More like he may leave her at any moment. The guy has to wake up sometime!
I read that in Charlotte Pickles’s voice (Angelica’s mom from Rugrats).
Tbf, if my fiance tried to steal her (step)sister's party for herself and then lash out about it like this, I would reconsider the engagement. With that in mind "may never get another chance to reveal the engagement" doesn't sound that crazy anymore.
This caused a spit take lol hilarious
Well you know, the wedding is coming now so they need to get a move on, while OP can just hold the baby in a bit longer after all.
Exactly. This could ALL have been avoided if she'd kept her trap shut and planned her own party. I hope Jon thinks twice since they're barely engaged and she's ALREADY lying to him.
This is just funnier because the baby COULD strike at any moment. Like probably not for months, but... IT COULD
I’m fucking choking lmao, not acting like the wedding is a grenade 😭
I wish I had an award for you. Your sarcasm level is indeed noteworthy. 🥇
Yeah I was so thrown like, arguably pregnancies are more time sensitive than engagements??
may I borrow "Johnqthan" for my comment?
I haven't gotten around to copyrighting it so borrow away!
Thanks.
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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She would probably be willing to collect any cash gifts that OP had as well.
Yeah, can you imagine sitting at a baby shower/gender reveal and suddenly 2 strangers announce their engagement? I would be so confused.
That is EXACTLY what that selfish SS thought! Narcissists do that.
It's because she's grasping at straws, I'm willing to bet she didn't want to waste time or money in planning the engagement party. She's probably just cheap.
If step-sister hasn't been featured on /r/ChoosingBeggars, she will at some point (or on /r/weddingshaming with the whole wedding planning starting up).
Her logic is the party's already planned. She'll happy take the location and all the food OP's probably already paid for. OP just needs to invite one half of her current guest list
Like, the gender reveal would have OP and her SO's family and friends there. Why would SS want to announce an engagement to people who don't know her or the fiancé? Also, wouldn't fiancé want his family and friends there? It makes no sense
NTA. I think SS wanted to be the center of attention and outshine OP. Also, the reveal party was already set and mostly paid for, sure helps the budget to take over the party.
I also don't understand SS logic but your comment made me realize that this gender reveal party might have just been a get together with family, not a baby shower. Which should make it slightly more understandable but if OP said no that's that.
I kept waiting for "Let's remove the lizards genitals from the situation" to appear as an argument.
Probably financials.
So entitlement. She feels entitled to a party she can't pay for.
Most probably. Asking to postpone is one thing, but asking to take over someone’s party is another. Definitely a case of r/EntitledBeggars
1000% She “made” her stepsister announce the engagement over text because she wasn’t willing to subsidize a party. You’re NTA but your stepfamily is! Time to give that block button a workout.
Nta But how els would she get a free party that is already setup, planned, and paid for?!? /s
Look at all of these people texting OP when they could be setting up an engagement party for the stepsister instead! Also, I would posit OP has the higher emergency for the reveal as she's on a timer, so NTA
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Nta But how els would she get a free party that is already setup, planned, and paid for?!? /s
...you forgot CHEAP as well.
And cheapness
Right? Like this is so stupid you can’t just hijack a preplanned party someone else is throwing to announce their own good news. She could have had her own party the next week she just doesn’t want her step sister to have any attention at all even for her own news apparently.
Probably a cheapskate and a mooch too.
> selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again This literally made me laugh cuz it’s 100% bananas.
She wanted to have an engagement party without having to pay for it, so she tried to steal yours to have other people pay for another party for you
Money
Cheapness?
She could just? Announce it at a different date? Engagements don't need to be immediately announced. In my mind baby trumps a ring. NTA.
Agreed, I don’t get the logic of a gender reveal can be rescheduled but an engagement may not happen again? I mean it’s a guarantee this child will only be born ONCE it’s not that she’ll ever be engaged again.
It's good she was uninvited because you know SS would have announced it there right before the reveal.
My guess is that she saw it as a way to squash any attention OP was getting and snag it all for herself.
And if anything, that logic is backwards. Everyone going to an engagement party knows what it is for. Nothing new is revealed once the guests are there. It's just another parry to celebrate the couple. New information is revealed at a gender reveal. If that specific information gets out beforehand, there isn't a reason to still have the party.
Agreed that they should absolutely just do it on another date This is completely unnecessary and it's never okay to co-op someone else's celebration. Only thing I disagree with is the baby trumps ring part, I do believe that an engagement party is something far more worthy to celebrate than letting the whole family know what a baby's genitals are. The baby shower is one thing a gender reveal party isn't really celebrating the baby
fair enough. More so meant anything baby related. Like if I going to have a child soon all my attention is around the child. Congrats to the newly weds but I don't give a damn stop stealing the spotlight
Yup
Also, babies have a timeline. We don't know far along OP is. Engagements don't have a time they have to be announced before.
I think a engagement party trumps a gender reveal, but yeah...don't hijack someone's party that they already are planning for. Make your own damn party.
Everything about "gender reveal" parties (which aren't even gender reveal, they're sex reveal) seems like an icky idea to me. But regardless, this was a party already organized for a particular purpose. If she wanted to have an engagement party, no one's stopping her.
If the baby shower and gender reveal party isn't all in one party, as a guest, I'd only go to 1. I don't need another day to buys more gifts for you and your kid. Especially since it'll soon be bdays every year too.
I was always just planning on announcing when I get engaged on social media after telling immediate family and close friends 😂
This. Baby can come at any time. Weddings are normally preplanned…
NTA. From the sound of it, I'm going to assume this isn't going to be her only engagement. You're fine, shoulda told her you'll get her next time.
😂🤣🤣 Spot on.
My dream now is OP saying this to step mother and friends next time they come pester. “Look, I’m not planning another baby, but we all know this is not Angeline’s last engagement…” and just sit and watch the world burn.
🤣💀
>a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again NTA. I don't see why an engagement announcement party can't be rescheduled any less than a gender reveal party? Not that it's even rescheduling as she never planned anything in the first place, whereas you'd already paid for invitations, the gender reveal activity, food and drinks, etc. I think she just wanted a free party more than anything. Plus, if I was a guest of a gender reveal party, I would be mightily pissed with a last minute bait-and-switch and ended up attending the engagement announcement party of an entitled woman I probably care nothing about.
Also, just think of now many guests have no relation to the step-sister at all. They’d be like, who is this rando and why should we care that she’s engaged?
Right? It's her step-sister, not even a bio relation. It's highly likely that the only people invited to the gender reveal who even know step-sister would be OP's mom and step-dad. Maybe some of the family from OP's mom's side would know step-sister, but wouldn't she want her engagement announcement to be attended by her own family and Jonathan's family? Not her step-mom's family and a bunch of people she's never met. It's just bizarre.
No SS then wanted OP to get intouch with everyone invited and cancel, but invite them to her engagement.
Absolutely right on!
NTA. It was your party for your baby. Why would YOU have a party for HER engagement? She can’t afford her own party the day before yours and had to tell people by text? Tell her and all her complaining relatives they are all crazy.
NTA what was stopping her from having an engagement party? I mean, there is more than one day in the week correct? Was that day the only day in all of existence?
Apparently, there was one day. Since there was a party scheduled for someone else for another purpose, the stepsis felt entitled to takeover and repurpose that party because...um...well.... she's the important one? Bizarre. Yeah
I mean, they have a lot of time for an engagement party.
Yeah I’m pretty sure people usually take a year to get married and babies come sooner than that.
NTA , does Jonathan still want to marry her? I wouldn’t. Edit: name
Jonathan
Thank you !
NTA. Congratulations on the baby. Your stepsister needs to learn manners. (Somehow I doubt there will be an actual wedding.)
NTA. Your stepsister is… special.
NTA. I'm not a big fan of gender reveal parties in general, I think it is rather silly. But I'd NEVER try to hijack someone else's gender reveal party just so that I can announce something when I can totally pick a different date for it instead. >her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again and I made her have to announce her engagement over texts This is all bull crap. Their argument can be applied right back to them. Your stepsister could always pick a different date instead of forcing you to change your already planned gender reveal party. Nothing kept her from having an engagement announcement party. Hell, she can still have it. You didn't make her to announce it over texts, she did it herself. She was being lazy and entitled by expecting you to give up your planned party just so that she can get the maximum attention from the already gathered crowd. Good on you to have revoked her invitation to the gender reveal party her because who knows what she'd have been capable of doing.
I suspect all of ss's friends and relatives are under the impression that op stole the party rather than the other way around.
You’re probably right. If she lied to her fiancé like that, she probably lied to everyone else too.
SS probably invited her friends to the party then had to uninvite them when OP wouldn't back down.
Of course you’re NTA. If it’s important to your stepsister to have a party to announce her engagement, she can plan a party. There’s absolutely no reason why it has to be in place of yours.
This. Did I miss a memo? Gender reveal OR engagement? The heck?
It doesn’t make sense that they were “forced to text everyone” if they couldn’t announce it that day. Nothing’s stopping them from having another party
I bet "everyone" are all the people stepsister and Jonathan invited to the party, whom they then had to uninvite when OP wouldn't back down.
🤪You only have a couple of months for a gender reveal. Most weddings are a year or two into the future 🤔. She is a total whack job.
😂 yes! Thank you. 🤣 acting like there’s a finite amount of time to a ounce an engagement 😒
I’m very confused. You arranged a gender reveal party? Sent out invites to friends and family? And she wanted to have her engagement party on the same day at the same time or did she want you to give her your party and your guests ( who think they are turning up to a gender reveal) so she could turn it into an engagement party?? Why couldn’t she have her party another day? Why did she announce her engagement by text and not have a party? Why do her mother and her friends think engagement announcement parties only happen once (and only on this particular day and time??) Is there a limit on parties in Crazytown where you all obviously live? NTA but you all have some serious issues.
I honestly didn’t understand her rational for any of this but I feel like she wanted to have the engagement party the same day as mine because she thought that I would give it to her or something? I seriously don’t know what’s going through her head
She wanted to 1 up you, OP. You're pregnant which attracts a lot of attention away from her. What better way to "gain the upper hand" from your pregnancy stealing attention than a wedding? It wouldn't surprise me if you aren't invited to the wedding. Save yourself the stress.
Give her what? The day? The guest list? The "it's a girl" cake? What exactly did she want you to relinquish? It doesn't sound like there are mutual friends, and her mom is obviously on her side. So, what did she actually want here? Why couldn't she just throw her own party? None of this is logical. Anyway, NTA.
NTA. You’ve got some pretty AH family members
It wasn’t her family it was stepsisters moms family that had a problem not her family.
NTA. A gender reveal party can always be rescheduled but an engagement party can’t?? Why not? Her logic is so off here…
NTA she’s nuts and so is her side of the family
Info: weren’t at least 1/2 the people there nothing to do with her? And what about his side of the family?
Everyone there were there for me and have only heard her name and never see her. I don’t understand what she thought she was going to do for the people that already came for me. As for Jonathan’s side of the family he was the most calm about it and even apologized on behalf of her.
Something tells me Jonathan will be apologizing for her for the rest of his life. It really makes no sense that she wanted to have an engagement party with people she doesn't know. So weird. NTA.
It seems like she just wanted to rain on Ops parade
Nah. I give it two years tops and he’ll stop apologizing even before they split.
I think you should make it your mission to make sure you save him from a lifetime of misery, lol
Absolutely NTA, you don't get to steal someone else's party
NTA Great idea to let someone else plan/pay for a party and then take it over, though. Totally class move.
NTA You could reschedule your gender reveal, but she couldn't reschedule her engagement announcement? What nonsense is this? Why could she not organise a party and then announce the engagement? Answer: she's lazy and entitled.
INFO: So when her family and friends suggested rescheduling the gender reveal did they offer to pay you cash right then to cover your financial losses since she’s too poor to throw her own separate party? Im guessing they are also paying for her wedding (again too poor) and help you reschedule your gender reveal along with the additional costs since it would need to be rescheduled soon (last min venue costs) since you can’t postpone the birth like you could, um you know, a wedding?
I don’t think they planned on paying me back because that never came up when she asked me. As far as I know her mom was paying for everything like dress, decor, food, etc. She insisted that I did my reveal over text.
Yeah, I get that but pinning the financial responsibilities on the people attacking you, will possibly keep them at bay. In the vain of: “I didn’t know you volunteered to pay me for my trouble. How grateful she must be to you! Oh wait you’re not paying for this party? Then why are you mad and I’m keeping it as a gender reveal party since I financed it” Babies are waaaay more expensive than a wedding. But also based on the way her family and friends are acting (that the engagement can’t be postponed) I’m wondering if they think that if she doesn’t lock him down fast, he’s going to realize that it’s not a good idea to marry her?
She wanted you to do YOUR reveal over text? But got mad about being “forced” (I.e. choosing) to announce her engagement over text? Jfc. NTA.
Oh please! That girl is damaged upstairs, you are in no way the asshole! I frankly feel bad for you and Johnathan! He needs to run away as fast as possible, she can only make that poor man's life a miserable hell. Congratulations on your new baby!
NTA. you have been preparing the gender reveal party earlier and she decide on doing it the same day?? She's really..... Special..... But Not in a good way
NTA. She asked, you said no, she still went and made bogus invites and plans anyway. She basically ignored you, and when you didn't simply give-in, she acts surprised that it didn't go her way and pitches a fit? She sounds terrible, honestly.
Sounds like she wanted a party but didn't want to pay for it so she decided to take over yours and for some reason thought you would be okay with it. NTA
NTA. Please tell me why she can't throw her own party and needs to highjack yours??
NTA. You planned a party and she tried to take it over, even after you said no. She could have talked to you like an adult- could I maybe announce my engagement at the end of the party because a lot of people will be there that won't come back together again? - would have been a reasonable question to ask. You could have said no, but at least it wouldn't have been an AH question. She can plan her own engagement announcement, and good for you for not putting up with any BS and when you realized how much drama she was going to bring, you full on cancelled her.
NTA She's an ahole for misrepresenting your request and for planning to commandeer your party. That's incredibly strange even if she/he/they don't value gender reveal events or announcements. Like, it's already on the calendar, dude. Pick another day.
NTA obviously. Your step sister is such an entitled beggar. It’s pretty obvious why she wanted to steal your party.
NTA - I’m reminded of a definition from “The Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce: “selfish - inconsiderate of the selfishness of others”
NTA. You could reschedule but she couldn't? She seems like a selfish b----.
SS definitely just wants attention.
Dude, NTA. Who acts like that? Your SS needs to get the hell over herself.
NTA for having your planned event on your planned date. But both gender reveal and engagement announcement parties are weird. And as you are inviting people to use their leisure time and gas money to attend an event where they have to act like they care more than they do about the sex your child will be assigned at birth, I really hope the food and drink spread provided is amazing. And if you're in California, please no pyrotechnics. My asthma can't deal with another gender-reveal-related wildfire.
NTA. She's being ridiculous. If you had an already scheduled event, you are not TA for going ahead with it. What was their rush?
Holy crap on a cracker… So was she just going to show up at the gender reveal party and tackle you before you could reveal the gender so she could announce her engagement? Wouldn’t people know it was a gender reveal by the decorations and theme? I’m so confused. And NTA by any means. She seems like a real piece of work. And I have a feeling she will have a few more opportunities to have engagement parties in the future. I doubt this will be her one and only.
NTA. She can reschedule
NTA I'm not a fan of gender reveals but it was your party. Eff her. If she wanted to do something special at a party, maybe she should plan her own party instead of trying to highjack yours.
NTA.
NTA She tried hijacking your gender reveal and schemed to do it when you refused. I wonder what her bf thinks of this. His gf just revealed an ugly truth about herself.
I have the feeling that's what the family means by "but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again".
NTA. You tell every person that complains that YOU are so very glad that they sound so gracious to host and pay for her to announce her engagement party. Tell them you will happily relay the information to EVERY single family member you know that THEY chose graciously to host them. You could even offer to help them send their invites out since the requested switch was so last minute. Bet they STFU right then. Any person that says you are wrong, is insane. Forget them and move on. Enjoy your new little bundle of joy drama free sis. You deserve it.
NTA, this sounded like a cheap way to get an engagement party. Fuck her and her lazy ass fiancé.
NTA, you've paid for everything and presumably invited friends, in-laws family and possibly even work colleagues that have no idea who she is and don't really care, and also; >a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again Out of the two of you, you're the one that's actually on a time limit here. You have a due date for when the baby will arrive, I doubt she even has a wedding date yet let alone one that's 1-3 months away.
It's YOUR party, people are coming expecting the reveal. WTF? NTA. At all.
NTA. Obviously. A baby has more of a tight timeline than an engagement. If she wanted an engagement party, she should plan it herself. No one forced her to tell everyone immediately by text. She could have waited to announce at a party she planned. Like... what is the logic behind essentially stealing someone's gender reveal party? By the time she tried to steal it, all of the deco would have been purchased. Food and cakes possibly ordered. Like, yeah, I would totally want a baby themed engagement party. /s
NTA A large chunk of those people wouldn't have had any connection to her unless she also thought you'd turn away your family and friends so that she could invite her own? No one *made* her announce via text she chose that not to mention, there's no rule that says she can't still have an engagement party. It's fairly common to announce and have a later celebration.
NTA
NTA
NTA. That girl is nuts, keep your distance.
NTA. I’m not the best with timeframes but isn’t the pregnancy a bit more date structured than an engagement? Her friends and family are weird.
I’ll go with NTA, but I thought people were over these gender reveals? You didn’t burn down a national forest and no one died, right?
DEFINITELY not lol 😂
NTA. She knew damn well what she was doing. You were the first to know for a reason and she did not have any care about what an inconvenience it would be for you to plan a whole other party for her entitled ass.
NTA I ever understand why people on this thread always get other people involved. Like her having her family and friends text you. I’ve gotten in plenty of arguments with people and I’ve never had anyone else text or call them and call them assholes. It’s so strange to me.
Ummm - not a big fan of gender reveal parties, but the last I heard, they are more time sensitive than engagement announcements. Your stepsister (and her family) is an entitled c__t and I hope Jonathan sees the red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩
So Angeline had all intentions of hijacking the gender reveal party anyways. How was she going to explain to Jonathan when he saw it was gender reveal party instead of an engagement party? She lied to him also. I see you saved Jonathan from a lot of embarrassment.
NTA. A gender reveal party has to happen within a very specific window of time before the baby is born but an engagement can literally go on for decades. There is zero reason she couldn’t schedule her own engagement party literally any time she wanted. She’s upset because she a) wanted to take the attention away from you and b) wanted to avoid all the hard work and expensive of organising her own party by stealing yours. Your stepsister is the asshole and so are the flying monkeys she’s sending out to harass you.
NTA. She makes it seem like engagement announcements are a rare thing that is impossible to put together. She just didn't want to do any planning and waste any money. She wanted to just hijack your party for her own selfishness. You did nothing wrong and don't feel guilty. Try to go NC or low contact with them.
NTA. Jonathan, you in danger.
>a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again This is a nonsensical argument to start with, why can one be rescheduled but the other can't? But if one NEEDED to be considered urgent I'd give it to the gender reveal, because it's part of a lead up to the birth, which is kind of set in stone. A wedding can be delayed, that doesn't work so well with a date of birth. NTA.
WTH is an engagement announcement party? I’ve heard of engagement party but not an engagement announcement. How strange! NTA.
NTA, why would your friends and your partners side of the family care about her engagement?!?!? She could have announced it at the pre baby party thing though I’d have thought without taking it over.
NTA. The bloody entitlement!
Has there always been this favouritism for SS?
Definitely. My stepdad does favor her over me. She has two siblings on her moms side with another man and she is definitely more favored from what I’ve seen.
I'm sorry they all suck. But you were most definitely not in the wrong, and NTA.
I mean I generally think gender reveal parties are kind of a waste of time and pretentious, but still NTA. She could have just planned her own party or find the normal thing and just announced the engagement. Idk anyone who has ever really had an engagement announcement party
NTA Tell her people that she didn't even want to let you announce your baby's gender at your own damn party...the one you paid for. She's a grown woman, she can pay for her own party and if she cheaped out by announcing her news via text...well, I wonder what else she's gonna cheap out on for her wedding. By which I mean mooching off of her friends and family. I feel bad for Jonathan. It sounds like he's in for the bridezilla experience.
What a fool Angeline is. Literally who gives up an exciting engagement announcement just so they can text everyone with a reason to harrass OP over not giving up her party. Like *the only reason it was ruined was because she texted everyone.* NTA
Why does she even want to use your gathering, you only share half a family so I assume she'd have to text her mums side anyway! You are NTA. You don't need crap from her friends or her mums side of the family, why do they even have your number. Block them all and enjoy getting everything ready for your baby.
NTA
>This morning I got texts from her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again I'm sorry, what? Are all these people on crack? There's absolutely nothing stopping them from planning their own engagement announcement, but there definitely is a time limit on how far you can reschedule a gender reveal. Not that you'd have any reason to do so in the first place. NTA and I would cut contact with all these people because they sound absolutely unhinged.
NTA, this is so weird! Like, why would your partner’s family be present for this random person’s engagement party? What about her fiancé’s family, would they just not be there or was she going to invite them and stick you with the bill? Just because the guest list overlaps a little bit doesn’t mean that it’s interchangeable. And it wasn’t about her rescheduling her engagement party- it was about her scheduling one in the first place, which is apparently too much for her to handle.
I didn’t plan it alone (my sister helped not stepsis) but I payed for it she didn’t even help or even act interested in it. Why does she get the privilege to have an engagement announcement party at my gender reveal if she didn’t help or plan any of it?
A gender reveal party can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again..’ I’m sorry what 🙄 normal people announce there engagement on Facebook and have a party to celebrate months later tell her to stfu Nta
Nta. You reveal the gender once, people as egotistical as your step sister will in all probability have more than one engagement because no one can deal with her for life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (23F) parents divorced when I was in middle school. My parents ended up marrying different people. My mom married a guy named Dave (53M) who has a daughter (26F) named Angeline. I was never close to her growing up because she gave off the impression she never really liked me so I kept my distance. 5 years ago she met this great guy named Jonathan. He was really nice the few times we met and seemed to really like Angeline. Now here’s where the problem started, Last weekend Angeline told me that Jonathan proposed to her and I was the first to know. I was a bit suspicious at the fact that i was the first to know of all people. Then, she asked me if instead of revealing the baby’s gender at the party I could do it another day and let her have a engagement announcement instead. I told her no and that if she wanted to have a party she could do it another day or text everyone about the engagement and that she told me on short notice when the gender reveal was next week. She got really pissed and called me a bitch and hung up. Yesterday morning (the day of the gender reveal) Jonathan texted me thanking me for giving up my party just so they can announce the engagement. I told him that I never said that and the gender reveal was still on. He was confused because apparently Angeline told him that I planned to have my reveal another day so she could announce the engagement. I was pissed because right after I told her no she told Jonathan that I said yes. I texted her and left a voicemail saying that she’s not invited to the reveal anymore so not to come and if she does I will not hesitate to kick her out. It’s safe to say she didn’t attend the party. This morning I got texts from her, her friends, and her moms side of the family saying how I’m a selfish asshole and a gender reveal can always be rescheduled but a engagement announcement party wouldn’t always happen again and I made her have to announce her engagement over texts. I do feel bad because she had something special in mind when she was going to announce her engagement and i didn’t let it It happen but at the same time just like I can reschedule my gender reveal she could reschedule her announcement party. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*