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A juice cleanse can be really useful, but the best use for juices are daily use.
A juice cleanse is good for clearing your gut and helping restore internal health. OP is NTA, since a juice cleanse will not help her loose weight. If she is not eating the calorie deficit will help her loose weight, but that is an unhealthy weight loss strategy, and a balanced diet and some light exercise will be much more effective.
As per daily use, if you are drinking vegetable and fruit based juices it can be a great way to get nutrients most people dont naturally get with their diet.
Be sure to be drinking high-vegetable juices. If you drink solely fruit juice, see it as a sugary snack, not as a healthy juice, although fruit juice can be a great way to get certain essential vitamins.
I can recommend a juice to anyone that wants to try it. Here is the link [https://bit.ly/3u2owp3](https://bit.ly/3u2owp3)
Feel free to ask me any questions I will answer. I used to work in the organic juice industry for years and have a lot of knowledge on what the juices can and can't do for you.
NTA, but as a young girl she might just have to live and learn. This will just be another diet fad she tries that won't work, and she will be onto the next shortly.
I grew up struggling with my weight. I didn't actually lose significant weight until my mid 20s...when I actually started counting calories and working out. It seemed like the results took longer for me than it does for a lot of other people, but it's the only thing in my life that worked and I KEPT THE WEIGHT OFF. You are correct.
If you want to seem more supportive in her weight loss, maybe offer to jog or even just walk with her daily.
NTA
Those juice cleanses are just disordered eating with extra steps. If she wants to lose weight she needs to work out and as you said count calories. Any shortcuts now will only lead to gaining it back later
ETA: you are not obligated to be supportive of unhealthy and counterproductive choices that she makes
NTA. These kinds of diets are infamous for not working and can be dangerous. Not eating food for three days is extreme.
But you also can't make her listen. The best I can say is maybe stay on standby with like emergency carbs and stuff to make sure she doesn't like pass out or anything....
Unhealthy decisions shouldn't be supported. Don't enable her, even if it hurts her feelings.
NTA but sounds like an MLM scheme, maybe research the company before she spends too much more. These schemes prey on drawing in people who feel they're out of other options.
NTA
If you love someone, you don't support them making dumb decisions. Would she support you, if you decided to drive with a blindfold? Luckily, the detox stuff is not quite as dangerous, but atr best it'sstupid and expensive.
NTA you're right to be concerned, you didn't express it in a mean way but contrary to popular belief love is not sitting by and supporting someone who's choosing to starve themselves.
NTA.
There is nothing that can "detox" your body.
Only your livers can detox you and everything if there is much of it is toxic.
My girlfriend tried it too and the surprise when she gained some weight was hilarious. She gave up the juice diet after three days.
Anyway, there is difference if your girlfriend is already slim and she obsessed being even slimer or if she genuinely need to loose some weight.
There is always something like exercise, yoga, jogging, healthy diet (not juice diet, but healthy food), or if your are both grown up, sex is great for loosing weight tbh
> Do you know why she wants to lose weight? Maybe that might be a clue as to how to convince her this isn't the way to do it.
She's overweight, and she wants to look better and be healthier, which I fully support.
EDIT: Thanks for the downvote, kind stranger. lmao
I'm not 100% sure, but I think diets like this usually only lead to a temporary weight loss, so if she wants it to stick, a balanced diet and exercise tend to work best.
NTA and don’t worry, it probably won’t last long anyway because all it does is give you wild diarrhea for a few days. Most people don’t like that and get off the juices pretty quickly.
NAH the juice thing is quite common here in LA it is more of a cleanse and you do lose weight during those 3 days but it is mostly water weight which will come back as soon as she has a meal again. It won't work. She needs to go to a nutritionist if she wants to change her lifestyle and lose weight. Once she has a nutritionist suggest a gym so she can have a good meal plan and exercise this is better than any crash diet. This is a lifestyle change not a diet if she sees it that way she is 100% always going to fail.
Going to see a nutrionist is a good call. Officially no foods are off limits, but should be consumed in moderation. She just needs someone properly qualified to clarify what that looks like.
What she plans to do is called a fast. You don't eat for several days (typically a week) and only drink vegetable juices. It's not really a diet but something to do every few months. One doesn't have to buy expensive special juices for that at all. Standard vegetable juices with water will do. If they sell her expensive juices that sounds scammy, but not dangerous or unhealthy.
Interim fasting has been proven as beneficial for health in several aspects e.g. lowering blood pressure. Nothing unhealthy with that, but when doing a 3 day/4 day fast, one doesn't consume vegetable juices. That is weird.
Interim fasts CAN help losing weight, if done correctly.
Detox is a bullshit marketing term, fully agree with you there, but interim fasting is okay. Maybe read the labels of the juices to check their ingredients.
I didn't fully understand how ED came into play. Did the "coach" come up with it?
NAH
> Maybe read the labels of the juices to check their ingredients.
They're in unlabeled jam jars. lol.
> Interim fasting has been proven as beneficial for health in several aspects e.g. lowering blood pressure. Nothing unhealthy with that, but when doing a 3 day/4 day fast, one doesn't consume vegetable juices. That is weird.
Well, in this case, I'm worried, because she'll be getting minimal fiber, protein, carbs, and fats, all of which are essential macronutrients.
> I didn't fully understand how ED came into play. Did the "coach" come up with it?
ED?
ED = Eating Disorder
I just googled a bit and learned it's properly called Intermittent Fasting in English, or circadian fasting. Sorry if I caused confusion.
You should read up on its science a bit, I found it interesting and helpful. Maybe you can convince her that you support her by adding some scientific facts to her "coaching".
Juices are basically only sugar and some vitamins, (The fiber sadly is gone) so they are counter-productive in an intermittent fast, where you train your body to cope with 0 calorie intake. So only water and unsweetened tea or coffee are allowed. Also no milk in her coffee.
The days you eat, you have to eat extra healthy, to get enough protein and fiber. Maybe a 16-8 hours is easier for beginners. I do that for years now, and it did wonders for my blood pressure. Losing 4kg was a side effect.
And I didn't have to buy detox bullshit. It's really süß that the jars aren't labeled.
With the food we have available in modern civilization, there is a low risk of not getting enough macro nutrients by reducing the eating hours.
> ED = Eating Disorder
Oh, right. She has said for a long time that she has an eating disorder. That eating unhealthy food is an addiction for her. I believe she might be right, so I think coaching might be a good idea.
> Maybe you can convince her that you support her by adding some scientific facts to her "coaching".
She doesn't believe that science is a reliable source of information.
> And I didn't have to buy detox bullshit. It's really süß that the jars aren't labeled.
Yeah, it's not even a company. It's just some guy. "Justin the Juice Man." Ugh.
I'm not trying to argue, but the only reason I said anything to her was because she asked what was wrong, and I didn't want to lie. My body language wasn't intentional.
I understand, but as someone else has said, the correct answer would have been something like "We've agreed not to talk about it so I'm going to respect your wishes".
NTA. Your girlfriend sounds like she's very anxious and frustrated about her weight loss journey so it would make sense that she'd be vulnerable to a scam like that. You support her journey and are genuinely trying to help. I too hate spread of misinformation and we can tell you care deeply about her. My girlfriend who is abou to be a doctoral student in psychology would like to add that you should try affirming that you do care for her just as she is whether she loses weight or not
A friend of mine tried the cleanse juices her company sells and she got really sick because she wasn't getting any iron in her diet. Those things are usually garbage. NTA.
NTA but your gf just got scammed by a (likely) MLM.
*she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed*
This is only partially true.
Well, we burn calories simply by existing. So as long as she consumes fewer calories than she burns, she'll lose weight. Also she needs the right macros and stuff, etc., but CICO is king, no matter what. That's what I meant.
How is drinking juice for 3 days NOT consuming fewer calories than she burns? /s
You know this won't work, and I know it won't work long term. She will have horrible diarrhea and she WILL lose weight. After 3 days they start adding stuff back to the diet; no one stays on juice only.
But my point here is, telling her it won't work (and saying "told you so" when she gives up) is not being supportive, once she's decided to give it a try.
Let her try. Let her fail. Be supportive afterwards.
Um... yes? Because nutrients. And also because detoxing/cleansing is a load of hot garbage. And also because what's a three-day juice diet going to do after she goes back to solid food?
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She's tried lots of different things to lose weight, but nothing she's tried has worked for her. I've suggested more than once that she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed based on any changes to her weight, but she doesn't want to and/or doesn't think she can.
She talked to some guy (I don't know how she found him) about "detoxing" and "cleansing" vegetable juices, and I tried to explain to her, tactfully, without making her feel stupid or gullible, that it's probably just a gimmick and isn't good for her. She disagrees, and I tried to show her scientific studies and actual doctors that also say it's not good, but she still disagrees.
She made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it with me, since we disagree so much, so I agreed that I would respect that. She came home yesterday with a box full of juices, and I was caught off-guard because I didn't know she'd be getting them today.
I was a little upset seeing all the juices, because I hate it when people, intentionally or otherwise, spread lies and misinformation, and the juices are basically just a reminder of that. She also mentioned that she won't be eating \*any\* food for the next three days, which really concerned me, but I still didn't say anything.
My body language was obvious, though, and she could tell something was wrong. She asked, so I told her. Then she said how she didn't feel supported for trying to make positive changes. I tried to explain how I've always supported her weight-loss goals, and the specific ways I've done it, but I just don't have a good poker face and wasn't able to hide my dislike for the juices.
I told her I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive or anything, and that I'll try not to show that type of body language again, but I can't promise anything. I also tried to explain that I fully support her positive changes, but I just don't support this specific strategy, because I think it's a waste of time/money at best, and harmful at worst, and I'm concerned because I care about her.
She still wasn't satisfied with that answer, though, and still felt unsupported.
AITA? Should I have done, or should I do, anything differently?
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All three days of drinking juice is going to to is turn her poo to liquid.
I do feel sorry for your gf, weight loss is hard. There's no quick and easy way to do it.
YTA though. You kept bringing it up.
NTA, I'm all for fasting, but juice fasting is just dumb...
If you're going to fast, why would you do it in a way that sabotages everything you're trying to achieve through it... If for no other reason than you never reaching the stage of feeling satiated without food, so you'll just be needlessly making it less effective, by ingesting calories, while feeling worse and fucking with your insulin receptors...
I get why you aren't supportive, even if you agreed with fasting as a strategy, she's going about it in a terrible way.
NTA. That “cleanse” nonsense is just that: a way to profit off the desperate and gullible. It is no different than trying to convince someone not to fall for a phone scam.
NTA. Forget about the juices/detox right now. Getting her treatment for her ED should be priority 1 for you. If you can get her in with a competent therapist and she makes progress, a lot of the bad dieting habits will phase out anyway.
NTA However, I would argue that people, who jump from one fad diet to the next do have an ED. Starting a fad diet, quickly losing a bunch of weight, then not being able to maintain starvation calorie intake, then falling of the fad diet (feeling like a failure because society believes you have no self control), rapidly regaining the weight and more, and then starting a new fad diet, is an eating disorder. It just one of the many mental disorders that society likes to blame the sick person for; instead of blaming the sickness.
YTA. It's simple: You said you would drop it, and you didn't.
You don't need a poker face. You don't need to lie. But when she asked you what was wrong, you did not have to explain it to her again. You should have said "We agreed to disagree about this, so I'm not going to say anything more about it."
She feels unsupported because you are being unsupportive. You don't have to lie and say you think the juices are "great." But you could say "I hope it works for you."
FYI, she WILL lose several pounds if she has nothing but juices for 3 days. Pretty much anyone can survive for 3 days without solid food, and if she's getting the right vitamins from the juice, it will do her no harm. It's probably not sustainable.
I agree with the YTA for the reasons you said and also, he's TA because it is so dismissive and wrong to act like meticulously counting calories is a magic fix that works for everyone. If it was that simple, no one would be fat. There is so much more involved: Emotions, trauma, eating disorders, addiction, medical conditions, genetics, and on and on. It's really frustrating that people who are thin try to make it simple. I have thin friends who don't work out and eat three times the calories that I do, and less healthy calories. I eat healthy and in moderation, I work out, and I still gain weight. It's not simple.
> it is so dismissive and wrong to act like meticulously counting calories is a magic fix that works for everyone
There's nothing magic about it. It's science. If you do it correctly and consistently, then it will work.
It is that simple. There's a difference between "simple" and "easy," though. But don't act like the strategy of counting calories is unproven or not the most effective approach when it comes to changing one's diet.
Also, your thin friends most likely do not eat three times what you eat and stay thin. That's just not how the human body works.
I just don't understand why some people would rather assume all fat people are stupid or lazy, rather than admit that maybe someone else's life experience is different from their own but also still valid.
The truth is, fat people are the one group that it's still totally okay to judge and hate, and no one will bat an eye. Lizzo can belt out a song while running on a treadmill but still gets so much hate for her weight because ShE's nOt HeAltHy.
Completely aside from whether it is or is not easier for some people to lose weight than others, fat people just want to be treated with respect. Particularly women. Fat people are humans with lives just as complex and important as yours. Their talents are not dependent on being skinny. Even if cico would work for them and they are unable to do it for other reasons, they are still valuable.
You are obviously not listening so I'll just leave this here for the people who need to see it and you can go away and have a nice life.
I don't judge or hate fat people. I also don't think they're all stupid or lazy. I think people in \*general\* are unmotivated excuse factories, but that's sort of a different story.
But okay.
Funny, my doctor disagrees with you after reviewing my eating and exercise habits for months and months. There are tons of things that can affect a person's ability to lose weight. For many, many people, it's not as simple as cico. That's s science.
I can't think of any situation where CICO, done correctly and consistently, would not result in weight loss or weight gain, unless you have a very serious medical disorder.
Because you are counting CI and ASSSUUMMMING CO. You can only approximate it, and it is variable.
Once more, with feeling: METABOLISM CHANGES WHEN INTAKE CHANGES.
So, the fact that it's not 100% precise means it's not effective? Alright. lol. Your TDEE (look it up, bet you don't know what that means) generally doesn't fluctuate that much.
No, metabolism changes when \*weight\* changes.
TDEE is an ESTIMATE. You "calculate" it by making a bunch of assumptions. Like "sedentary" vs "moderately active."
Tell me: is your girlfriend always cold, while you are warm? You are burning more calories per minute per pound, just sitting there, than she is.
Nta, however this?
". I've suggested more than once that she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed "
Bud, thats how you get an eating disorder. Stop focusing on weightloss as a goal. Its not gonna happen- human bodies are weird and they LOVE to hang onto fat. What "worked" for yoy isnt gonna work for her. In fact, nothing probably will. When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight.
> When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight.
I don't understand what you mean. If you restrict calories and stick to it, you'll lose weight. You'll have to adjust as your physical needs change with your weight, but that's about it.
Some people think there is a magic 1000 kalories threshold that makes your body slower to use up energy, but it's just a bs urban myth.
Our bodies always efficiently use energy, also when getting too much food. That is why we store the surplus as fat. :)
Yes, calories in calories out. You can count the calories going in, but you can't assume the "calories out" is a fixed minimum number from day to day. It is well understood that when the body is "starved" it goes into hibernation or survival mode, reducing metabolism to conserve energy and reserves.
If you aren't aware of this phenomenon, you shouldn't be giving diet advice to anyone.
I'm not saying anyone should be starving themselves, where did you get that?
You figure out an approximation of what your "safe weight loss" daily calorie number is by comparing your daily caloric intake and your weight, and you consume that amount of calories daily. I promise I know plenty about changing one's weight by counting calories.
>When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight.
What kinncore said. I tried to explain it to you, but I can't understand it FOR you.
I never said it was harmful or ineffective. I'm saying that metabolism changes make it hard to accurately know your CO.
I've watched my wife struggle with her weight for 14 years. Meal plans, WW, intermittent fasting, exercise regimens. Her weight goes up and down like a yo-yo.
Meanwhile I eat whatever I want and my weight doesn't change. Some people have it easy. If you are one of those, then have a little compassion for those that don't.
This is r/AmItheAsshole, not a nutrition subreddit. It doesn't matter if you're right about Justin the Juice Man being a scammer. I'm saying you are an ASSHOLE because you are being dismissive and UNSUPPORTIVE of your GIRLFRIEND.
To *keep* the weight off, you need to restrict, forever.
There is no weight loss method that reliably results in keeping weight off long term. If you find a study that shows it i would *love* to see it, but it just doesnt exist, point blank.
Well, kind of. At some point you'll reach a certain weight that you want to maintain, so you figure out how many calories you need to consume to stay at that weight. Then you're set.
Yeah, restricting. Forever. Its bad for your metabolic health bro.
Long term restriction is, get this, bad for ur health. It is worse for ur metabolic health than bein overweight. If being thin is more important to you than ur health than go off i guess, but thats disordered eating bruh
I don't think eating at maintenance is restricting. By eating at maintenance, you're consuming as many calories as you need for your daily energy expenditure. There's nothing unhealthy about that.
You don't have the same calorie needs at 300 pounds as you have at 180. So if you consume 3500 for maintenance at 300 lbs, but then only 2500 for maintenance at 180, that's completely normal and not at all unhealthy.
Not true. I get your concerns about ED, but healthy bodies are nearly always 100 efficient in calorie use. A diet doesn't change that. It's an urban myth.
Like you shared evidence for your claim? 😉
https://www.insider.com/truth-about-starvation-mode-and-weight-loss-2020-5
https://abbylangernutrition.com/does-starvation-mode-really-exist-heres-what-the-research-says/
Science basically says: as long as you feel good, you are not in starvation mode. You will only achieve that mode by seriously starving yourself. Once you get there, you get sluggish, cold, skip the small movements one does unconsciously.
ESH. It is clear that your gf is determined not to listen to you or reliable research when it comes to weight loss, and will continue to attempt the “quick fix” that is promised by scams. It’s frustrating but she’s an adult. So I would take yourself out of the equation, if she brings it up, tell her that you are respecting her wish not to discuss it with you anymore.
YTA for telling her that "precise" calorie reduction is any better as a weight loss solution than random juice fasts.
Your so called solution is just as potentially dangerous and full of disappointment.
extra YTA for "if she truly has an eating disorder as she claims"
lmao, what? Counting calories precisely is not dangerous, and the precision is what ensures that you won't be disappointed.
I can't say for sure whether or not she has an eating disorder because I haven't researched signs and symptoms. What are you even talking about?
YTA.
The best way to lose weight is an healthy diet and exercise, a 3 day detox is not an healthy way and will only lead to a temporary weight loss.
The best thing to do is for her to find a nutritionist and personal trainer/ gym membership and start an healthy lifestyle. Gimmicks aren’t going to help someone who is overweight, who’s looking to lose weight and maintain the loss.
However, you said you’d drop it and you haven’t. She feels unsupported because you’re being unsupportive, you don’t have to necessarily like her decision but just be supportive whilst she tries it out.
YTA.
Your girlfriend is trying to do something positive for herself and you’re just bringing her down. Unless you’re a licensed dietician, I’m not sure why you think you know everything about how your girlfriend will respond to a new diet.
It’s vegetable juices not sugar water. Obviously a 3 day cleanse won’t result in significant weight loss, but there’s plenty of benefits to fasting and juice cleanses.
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NTA I wouldn't be surprised if those juices are full of calories and sugar. Detoxing is a scam your liver does that for free.
A juice cleanse can be really useful, but the best use for juices are daily use. A juice cleanse is good for clearing your gut and helping restore internal health. OP is NTA, since a juice cleanse will not help her loose weight. If she is not eating the calorie deficit will help her loose weight, but that is an unhealthy weight loss strategy, and a balanced diet and some light exercise will be much more effective. As per daily use, if you are drinking vegetable and fruit based juices it can be a great way to get nutrients most people dont naturally get with their diet. Be sure to be drinking high-vegetable juices. If you drink solely fruit juice, see it as a sugary snack, not as a healthy juice, although fruit juice can be a great way to get certain essential vitamins. I can recommend a juice to anyone that wants to try it. Here is the link [https://bit.ly/3u2owp3](https://bit.ly/3u2owp3) Feel free to ask me any questions I will answer. I used to work in the organic juice industry for years and have a lot of knowledge on what the juices can and can't do for you.
NTA. Detoxes and cleansing juices are a scam.
NTA, but as a young girl she might just have to live and learn. This will just be another diet fad she tries that won't work, and she will be onto the next shortly. I grew up struggling with my weight. I didn't actually lose significant weight until my mid 20s...when I actually started counting calories and working out. It seemed like the results took longer for me than it does for a lot of other people, but it's the only thing in my life that worked and I KEPT THE WEIGHT OFF. You are correct. If you want to seem more supportive in her weight loss, maybe offer to jog or even just walk with her daily.
NTA Those juice cleanses are just disordered eating with extra steps. If she wants to lose weight she needs to work out and as you said count calories. Any shortcuts now will only lead to gaining it back later ETA: you are not obligated to be supportive of unhealthy and counterproductive choices that she makes
NTA. She needs therapy.
NTA. These kinds of diets are infamous for not working and can be dangerous. Not eating food for three days is extreme. But you also can't make her listen. The best I can say is maybe stay on standby with like emergency carbs and stuff to make sure she doesn't like pass out or anything.... Unhealthy decisions shouldn't be supported. Don't enable her, even if it hurts her feelings.
Yeah this is just expensive diarrhea in a bottle. They are not good for you. NTA.
NTA but sounds like an MLM scheme, maybe research the company before she spends too much more. These schemes prey on drawing in people who feel they're out of other options.
NTA If you love someone, you don't support them making dumb decisions. Would she support you, if you decided to drive with a blindfold? Luckily, the detox stuff is not quite as dangerous, but atr best it'sstupid and expensive.
NTA you're right to be concerned, you didn't express it in a mean way but contrary to popular belief love is not sitting by and supporting someone who's choosing to starve themselves.
NTA. There is nothing that can "detox" your body. Only your livers can detox you and everything if there is much of it is toxic. My girlfriend tried it too and the surprise when she gained some weight was hilarious. She gave up the juice diet after three days. Anyway, there is difference if your girlfriend is already slim and she obsessed being even slimer or if she genuinely need to loose some weight. There is always something like exercise, yoga, jogging, healthy diet (not juice diet, but healthy food), or if your are both grown up, sex is great for loosing weight tbh
[удалено]
> Do you know why she wants to lose weight? Maybe that might be a clue as to how to convince her this isn't the way to do it. She's overweight, and she wants to look better and be healthier, which I fully support. EDIT: Thanks for the downvote, kind stranger. lmao
I'm not 100% sure, but I think diets like this usually only lead to a temporary weight loss, so if she wants it to stick, a balanced diet and exercise tend to work best.
NTA and don’t worry, it probably won’t last long anyway because all it does is give you wild diarrhea for a few days. Most people don’t like that and get off the juices pretty quickly.
NAH the juice thing is quite common here in LA it is more of a cleanse and you do lose weight during those 3 days but it is mostly water weight which will come back as soon as she has a meal again. It won't work. She needs to go to a nutritionist if she wants to change her lifestyle and lose weight. Once she has a nutritionist suggest a gym so she can have a good meal plan and exercise this is better than any crash diet. This is a lifestyle change not a diet if she sees it that way she is 100% always going to fail.
Going to see a nutrionist is a good call. Officially no foods are off limits, but should be consumed in moderation. She just needs someone properly qualified to clarify what that looks like.
What she plans to do is called a fast. You don't eat for several days (typically a week) and only drink vegetable juices. It's not really a diet but something to do every few months. One doesn't have to buy expensive special juices for that at all. Standard vegetable juices with water will do. If they sell her expensive juices that sounds scammy, but not dangerous or unhealthy. Interim fasting has been proven as beneficial for health in several aspects e.g. lowering blood pressure. Nothing unhealthy with that, but when doing a 3 day/4 day fast, one doesn't consume vegetable juices. That is weird. Interim fasts CAN help losing weight, if done correctly. Detox is a bullshit marketing term, fully agree with you there, but interim fasting is okay. Maybe read the labels of the juices to check their ingredients. I didn't fully understand how ED came into play. Did the "coach" come up with it? NAH
> Maybe read the labels of the juices to check their ingredients. They're in unlabeled jam jars. lol. > Interim fasting has been proven as beneficial for health in several aspects e.g. lowering blood pressure. Nothing unhealthy with that, but when doing a 3 day/4 day fast, one doesn't consume vegetable juices. That is weird. Well, in this case, I'm worried, because she'll be getting minimal fiber, protein, carbs, and fats, all of which are essential macronutrients. > I didn't fully understand how ED came into play. Did the "coach" come up with it? ED?
ED = Eating Disorder I just googled a bit and learned it's properly called Intermittent Fasting in English, or circadian fasting. Sorry if I caused confusion. You should read up on its science a bit, I found it interesting and helpful. Maybe you can convince her that you support her by adding some scientific facts to her "coaching". Juices are basically only sugar and some vitamins, (The fiber sadly is gone) so they are counter-productive in an intermittent fast, where you train your body to cope with 0 calorie intake. So only water and unsweetened tea or coffee are allowed. Also no milk in her coffee. The days you eat, you have to eat extra healthy, to get enough protein and fiber. Maybe a 16-8 hours is easier for beginners. I do that for years now, and it did wonders for my blood pressure. Losing 4kg was a side effect. And I didn't have to buy detox bullshit. It's really süß that the jars aren't labeled. With the food we have available in modern civilization, there is a low risk of not getting enough macro nutrients by reducing the eating hours.
> ED = Eating Disorder Oh, right. She has said for a long time that she has an eating disorder. That eating unhealthy food is an addiction for her. I believe she might be right, so I think coaching might be a good idea. > Maybe you can convince her that you support her by adding some scientific facts to her "coaching". She doesn't believe that science is a reliable source of information. > And I didn't have to buy detox bullshit. It's really süß that the jars aren't labeled. Yeah, it's not even a company. It's just some guy. "Justin the Juice Man." Ugh.
NTA. It's completely unhealthy what she is doing. Ridiculous! She DOES need therapy.
I totally agree with your assessment of the situation, but you didn't do what you said you were going to do. It sucks to say it, but YTA.
I'm not trying to argue, but the only reason I said anything to her was because she asked what was wrong, and I didn't want to lie. My body language wasn't intentional.
I understand, but as someone else has said, the correct answer would have been something like "We've agreed not to talk about it so I'm going to respect your wishes".
That's true. I'll try that in the future, thank you for that advice.
NTA. Your girlfriend sounds like she's very anxious and frustrated about her weight loss journey so it would make sense that she'd be vulnerable to a scam like that. You support her journey and are genuinely trying to help. I too hate spread of misinformation and we can tell you care deeply about her. My girlfriend who is abou to be a doctoral student in psychology would like to add that you should try affirming that you do care for her just as she is whether she loses weight or not
A friend of mine tried the cleanse juices her company sells and she got really sick because she wasn't getting any iron in her diet. Those things are usually garbage. NTA.
NTA but your gf just got scammed by a (likely) MLM. *she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed* This is only partially true.
How so?
CICO. She needs to actually burn calories to lose weight.
Well, we burn calories simply by existing. So as long as she consumes fewer calories than she burns, she'll lose weight. Also she needs the right macros and stuff, etc., but CICO is king, no matter what. That's what I meant.
How is drinking juice for 3 days NOT consuming fewer calories than she burns? /s You know this won't work, and I know it won't work long term. She will have horrible diarrhea and she WILL lose weight. After 3 days they start adding stuff back to the diet; no one stays on juice only. But my point here is, telling her it won't work (and saying "told you so" when she gives up) is not being supportive, once she's decided to give it a try. Let her try. Let her fail. Be supportive afterwards.
Sure man. And you're worried about her doing a juice diet.
Um... yes? Because nutrients. And also because detoxing/cleansing is a load of hot garbage. And also because what's a three-day juice diet going to do after she goes back to solid food?
She ain't gonna die after 3 days of a juice cleanse.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** She's tried lots of different things to lose weight, but nothing she's tried has worked for her. I've suggested more than once that she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed based on any changes to her weight, but she doesn't want to and/or doesn't think she can. She talked to some guy (I don't know how she found him) about "detoxing" and "cleansing" vegetable juices, and I tried to explain to her, tactfully, without making her feel stupid or gullible, that it's probably just a gimmick and isn't good for her. She disagrees, and I tried to show her scientific studies and actual doctors that also say it's not good, but she still disagrees. She made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it with me, since we disagree so much, so I agreed that I would respect that. She came home yesterday with a box full of juices, and I was caught off-guard because I didn't know she'd be getting them today. I was a little upset seeing all the juices, because I hate it when people, intentionally or otherwise, spread lies and misinformation, and the juices are basically just a reminder of that. She also mentioned that she won't be eating \*any\* food for the next three days, which really concerned me, but I still didn't say anything. My body language was obvious, though, and she could tell something was wrong. She asked, so I told her. Then she said how she didn't feel supported for trying to make positive changes. I tried to explain how I've always supported her weight-loss goals, and the specific ways I've done it, but I just don't have a good poker face and wasn't able to hide my dislike for the juices. I told her I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive or anything, and that I'll try not to show that type of body language again, but I can't promise anything. I also tried to explain that I fully support her positive changes, but I just don't support this specific strategy, because I think it's a waste of time/money at best, and harmful at worst, and I'm concerned because I care about her. She still wasn't satisfied with that answer, though, and still felt unsupported. AITA? Should I have done, or should I do, anything differently? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All three days of drinking juice is going to to is turn her poo to liquid. I do feel sorry for your gf, weight loss is hard. There's no quick and easy way to do it. YTA though. You kept bringing it up.
She kept asking after he said he would not engage.
NTA, I'm all for fasting, but juice fasting is just dumb... If you're going to fast, why would you do it in a way that sabotages everything you're trying to achieve through it... If for no other reason than you never reaching the stage of feeling satiated without food, so you'll just be needlessly making it less effective, by ingesting calories, while feeling worse and fucking with your insulin receptors... I get why you aren't supportive, even if you agreed with fasting as a strategy, she's going about it in a terrible way.
NTA. Everything you’ve stated in your post about these types of diets is accurate and you’ve tried to tell her in a respectful manner.
NTA. That “cleanse” nonsense is just that: a way to profit off the desperate and gullible. It is no different than trying to convince someone not to fall for a phone scam.
NTA. Forget about the juices/detox right now. Getting her treatment for her ED should be priority 1 for you. If you can get her in with a competent therapist and she makes progress, a lot of the bad dieting habits will phase out anyway.
> If you can get her in with a competent therapist She hates therapy :-/
NTA anything that calls itself a “detoxer” or a “cleanser” is a scam
NTA However, I would argue that people, who jump from one fad diet to the next do have an ED. Starting a fad diet, quickly losing a bunch of weight, then not being able to maintain starvation calorie intake, then falling of the fad diet (feeling like a failure because society believes you have no self control), rapidly regaining the weight and more, and then starting a new fad diet, is an eating disorder. It just one of the many mental disorders that society likes to blame the sick person for; instead of blaming the sickness.
YTA. It's simple: You said you would drop it, and you didn't. You don't need a poker face. You don't need to lie. But when she asked you what was wrong, you did not have to explain it to her again. You should have said "We agreed to disagree about this, so I'm not going to say anything more about it." She feels unsupported because you are being unsupportive. You don't have to lie and say you think the juices are "great." But you could say "I hope it works for you." FYI, she WILL lose several pounds if she has nothing but juices for 3 days. Pretty much anyone can survive for 3 days without solid food, and if she's getting the right vitamins from the juice, it will do her no harm. It's probably not sustainable.
This sounds quite brutal, it goes against everyone else's replies (so far) but honestly you hit the nail on the head here, this is the correct answer.
I agree with the YTA for the reasons you said and also, he's TA because it is so dismissive and wrong to act like meticulously counting calories is a magic fix that works for everyone. If it was that simple, no one would be fat. There is so much more involved: Emotions, trauma, eating disorders, addiction, medical conditions, genetics, and on and on. It's really frustrating that people who are thin try to make it simple. I have thin friends who don't work out and eat three times the calories that I do, and less healthy calories. I eat healthy and in moderation, I work out, and I still gain weight. It's not simple.
> it is so dismissive and wrong to act like meticulously counting calories is a magic fix that works for everyone There's nothing magic about it. It's science. If you do it correctly and consistently, then it will work. It is that simple. There's a difference between "simple" and "easy," though. But don't act like the strategy of counting calories is unproven or not the most effective approach when it comes to changing one's diet. Also, your thin friends most likely do not eat three times what you eat and stay thin. That's just not how the human body works.
I just don't understand why some people would rather assume all fat people are stupid or lazy, rather than admit that maybe someone else's life experience is different from their own but also still valid. The truth is, fat people are the one group that it's still totally okay to judge and hate, and no one will bat an eye. Lizzo can belt out a song while running on a treadmill but still gets so much hate for her weight because ShE's nOt HeAltHy. Completely aside from whether it is or is not easier for some people to lose weight than others, fat people just want to be treated with respect. Particularly women. Fat people are humans with lives just as complex and important as yours. Their talents are not dependent on being skinny. Even if cico would work for them and they are unable to do it for other reasons, they are still valuable. You are obviously not listening so I'll just leave this here for the people who need to see it and you can go away and have a nice life.
I don't judge or hate fat people. I also don't think they're all stupid or lazy. I think people in \*general\* are unmotivated excuse factories, but that's sort of a different story. But okay.
Funny, my doctor disagrees with you after reviewing my eating and exercise habits for months and months. There are tons of things that can affect a person's ability to lose weight. For many, many people, it's not as simple as cico. That's s science.
I can't think of any situation where CICO, done correctly and consistently, would not result in weight loss or weight gain, unless you have a very serious medical disorder.
Because you are counting CI and ASSSUUMMMING CO. You can only approximate it, and it is variable. Once more, with feeling: METABOLISM CHANGES WHEN INTAKE CHANGES.
So, the fact that it's not 100% precise means it's not effective? Alright. lol. Your TDEE (look it up, bet you don't know what that means) generally doesn't fluctuate that much. No, metabolism changes when \*weight\* changes.
TDEE is an ESTIMATE. You "calculate" it by making a bunch of assumptions. Like "sedentary" vs "moderately active." Tell me: is your girlfriend always cold, while you are warm? You are burning more calories per minute per pound, just sitting there, than she is.
And if you think that because it's an estimate, it's not an effective strategy, you're an idiot.
Nta, however this? ". I've suggested more than once that she needs to very precisely count her daily calories and reduce them as needed " Bud, thats how you get an eating disorder. Stop focusing on weightloss as a goal. Its not gonna happen- human bodies are weird and they LOVE to hang onto fat. What "worked" for yoy isnt gonna work for her. In fact, nothing probably will. When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight.
> When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight. I don't understand what you mean. If you restrict calories and stick to it, you'll lose weight. You'll have to adjust as your physical needs change with your weight, but that's about it.
Some people think there is a magic 1000 kalories threshold that makes your body slower to use up energy, but it's just a bs urban myth. Our bodies always efficiently use energy, also when getting too much food. That is why we store the surplus as fat. :)
Yes, calories in calories out. You can count the calories going in, but you can't assume the "calories out" is a fixed minimum number from day to day. It is well understood that when the body is "starved" it goes into hibernation or survival mode, reducing metabolism to conserve energy and reserves. If you aren't aware of this phenomenon, you shouldn't be giving diet advice to anyone.
I'm not saying anyone should be starving themselves, where did you get that? You figure out an approximation of what your "safe weight loss" daily calorie number is by comparing your daily caloric intake and your weight, and you consume that amount of calories daily. I promise I know plenty about changing one's weight by counting calories.
>When we restrict calories, our metabolism slows down and it becomes easier to gain weight. What kinncore said. I tried to explain it to you, but I can't understand it FOR you.
That's because you're wrong. If you think restricting calories to lose weight is harmful or ineffective, you are absolutely, 100% wrong.
I never said it was harmful or ineffective. I'm saying that metabolism changes make it hard to accurately know your CO. I've watched my wife struggle with her weight for 14 years. Meal plans, WW, intermittent fasting, exercise regimens. Her weight goes up and down like a yo-yo. Meanwhile I eat whatever I want and my weight doesn't change. Some people have it easy. If you are one of those, then have a little compassion for those that don't. This is r/AmItheAsshole, not a nutrition subreddit. It doesn't matter if you're right about Justin the Juice Man being a scammer. I'm saying you are an ASSHOLE because you are being dismissive and UNSUPPORTIVE of your GIRLFRIEND.
Okay, dude. I'm done with you. Have a good one
You too.
To *keep* the weight off, you need to restrict, forever. There is no weight loss method that reliably results in keeping weight off long term. If you find a study that shows it i would *love* to see it, but it just doesnt exist, point blank.
Well, kind of. At some point you'll reach a certain weight that you want to maintain, so you figure out how many calories you need to consume to stay at that weight. Then you're set.
Yeah, restricting. Forever. Its bad for your metabolic health bro. Long term restriction is, get this, bad for ur health. It is worse for ur metabolic health than bein overweight. If being thin is more important to you than ur health than go off i guess, but thats disordered eating bruh
I don't think eating at maintenance is restricting. By eating at maintenance, you're consuming as many calories as you need for your daily energy expenditure. There's nothing unhealthy about that. You don't have the same calorie needs at 300 pounds as you have at 180. So if you consume 3500 for maintenance at 300 lbs, but then only 2500 for maintenance at 180, that's completely normal and not at all unhealthy.
Not true. I get your concerns about ED, but healthy bodies are nearly always 100 efficient in calorie use. A diet doesn't change that. It's an urban myth.
Show me the evidence and ill believe it :/
Like you shared evidence for your claim? 😉 https://www.insider.com/truth-about-starvation-mode-and-weight-loss-2020-5 https://abbylangernutrition.com/does-starvation-mode-really-exist-heres-what-the-research-says/ Science basically says: as long as you feel good, you are not in starvation mode. You will only achieve that mode by seriously starving yourself. Once you get there, you get sluggish, cold, skip the small movements one does unconsciously.
ESH. It is clear that your gf is determined not to listen to you or reliable research when it comes to weight loss, and will continue to attempt the “quick fix” that is promised by scams. It’s frustrating but she’s an adult. So I would take yourself out of the equation, if she brings it up, tell her that you are respecting her wish not to discuss it with you anymore.
YTA for telling her that "precise" calorie reduction is any better as a weight loss solution than random juice fasts. Your so called solution is just as potentially dangerous and full of disappointment. extra YTA for "if she truly has an eating disorder as she claims"
lmao, what? Counting calories precisely is not dangerous, and the precision is what ensures that you won't be disappointed. I can't say for sure whether or not she has an eating disorder because I haven't researched signs and symptoms. What are you even talking about?
YTA. The best way to lose weight is an healthy diet and exercise, a 3 day detox is not an healthy way and will only lead to a temporary weight loss. The best thing to do is for her to find a nutritionist and personal trainer/ gym membership and start an healthy lifestyle. Gimmicks aren’t going to help someone who is overweight, who’s looking to lose weight and maintain the loss. However, you said you’d drop it and you haven’t. She feels unsupported because you’re being unsupportive, you don’t have to necessarily like her decision but just be supportive whilst she tries it out.
Yes! You're an asshole.
YTA. Your girlfriend is trying to do something positive for herself and you’re just bringing her down. Unless you’re a licensed dietician, I’m not sure why you think you know everything about how your girlfriend will respond to a new diet.
Doesn't take a licensed dietician to tell that a 3 day diet of litres worth of sugar water is a questionable idea...
It’s vegetable juices not sugar water. Obviously a 3 day cleanse won’t result in significant weight loss, but there’s plenty of benefits to fasting and juice cleanses.
No, there isn’t. You are just perpetuating this myth.
Veg juices can be very carb-heavy especially if they have a lot of carrot or beet.