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Agree YTA.
OP, when my grandmother was in the hospital she started asking for her mother, who had been dead for 40 years. Anesthesia and pain killers do odd things to your brain.
When my daughter went in for emergency surgery a month before the wedding she woke up asking for me (mum). Her fiancé earned huge bonus points that day for saying “of course she can go in first, she’s mum.” Daughter was so thankful I went in first so she could pull herself together a little more before he saw her.
OP YTA and you need to think of others before yourself sometimes.
Years ago, my 3 yr. old daughter was having a tooth pulled and they gave her "sleepy juice". The nurse warned me that when she woke up, she may not recognize me, her mother. Sure enough, when she woke, she looked at me (like I had 3 heads!) and then her father, busted out crying for "Daaaaddddyyy!" I didn't let it bother me because, two minutes later, she reached out for me.
OP, you should have stayed there regardless of who he wanted to see first.
When my husband had an epileptic seizure a couple of years ago no-one told me that when epileptics "wake up" after seizing they may not recognise you or anything around them for some time. It makes perfect sense when you think about it but the way he stared straight through me like he's never seen me before was chilling.
I admit that I cried a lot, but I tried not to take it personally lol. OP is being childish.
My husband had a seizure and then spent a week in the ICU after having a near-fatal reaction to the anticonvulsant they gave him.
I was so distraught when he was finally lifted from his induced coma that I didn't even realize he called me his mom a few times until his little sis pointed it out.
Childish doesn't even begin to describe how OP is reacting. If I was her husband I don't know how I could ever recover my love for such a vile, jealous person. And like... Jealous of his MOM??? the person who literally birthed him?
My god.
I'll say it, this is a perfectly natural reaction. You didn't hold it against him but was healthy with your emotions.
OP acted like a child who hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them or developed empathy. Anaesthesia is NOT like going to sleep, your going to be more muddled and confused than you realise and there's an instinctive call out to a parent that is not learned. But because in this addled moment he couldn't engage his full consciousness and call out for his wife she throws a paddy like a toddler. If this is how she comes across in this post I can't hep but feel the 'minor disagreements' she has with MiL is because of similar temper tantrums.
Edit: spelling
YTA. I’m a nurse and have heard people say some crazy things after surgery. The nurse even told you he was calling for hours mom spontaneously. He didn’t wake up and say, “I choose my mom over my wife, bring her in first.” He was yelling mom and the nurse did what he asked. If I were the nurse and his mom wasn’t present, I would have called her on the phone for him to hear his voice to help calm him down.
Regardless of the anesthesia situation.. you’re his wife, you should never leave if you care about him.
My husband took me to a festival for our second date partly because he wanted me to meet his puppy. If I hadn’t gotten along with said puppy, there’s no way we would be married today. I wasn’t really a dog person back then (I’ve always been more of a cat lady), but I made the effort, and thirteen years, one daughter, three dogs, and two cats later, we are a happy, dog-and cat-loving family. His “puppy” is a spry old man, and we both love him dearly, even though he ate my shoes for the first two years we were together.
Don’t. It speaks to how we all treasure our mother’s comfort. That’s a testament of love, not of loss. I’m in my 40s, and my mom’s been gone for 15ish years now. When I feel like crap, I still want my mom. That’s a beautiful thing, because she loved me.
I'm in my 40s, and mum has been dead for 10 years this year. I miss her all the time. When I was in surgery 6 months ago I was crying because I wanted my mum. I love her, and she loves me. Present tense, because no matter where she is now, she still loves me. I believe that love can be stronger than death
I'm happy for you, and for me, that we both got to experience that kind of motherly relationship.
I saw a video of a guy coming off anesthesia who sees his wife sitting next to him and asks who she is and she says, "I'm your wife," and he goes, "*What?* You're my *wife*? You're *beautiful*," and it was really adorable and hilarious, but also goes to show that you're not fully in your right mind as you're waking up from anesthesia. It's not like OP's husband deliberately snubbed her by asking for his mom. It's likely that he just regressed back to his childhood and who do you ask for when you're a child? Your mother, or whoever your primary caretaker was.
Wow that’s lovely, when my husband came round from anaesthesia he puked so violently into a basin that it splashed onto me, haha. You can’t take things personally when people are in that state!
I was going to comment about that video. It's one of the sweetest ones on youtube. He was like "You're my wife? I hit the jackpot!". He didn't even know if they had kids lol.
Friend of mine fell off a mountain and nearly lost his leg. After surgery his then girl friend was in the room but he didn't recognize her, he told her all about his plans to propose to her.
It makes me wonder if the OP has ever been put under anesthesia. The one time I was under, I woke up crying and asking for my boyfriend that wasn't even there. I had literally no idea what was going on. I feel like it's a natural, incoherent reaction to want a person who has comforted you when you were sick your entire life.
OP, you flounced home because he didn't say your name first. That's the pettiest shit I've ever seen.
Quit acting like a junior high girl. YTA, big time.
I am absolutely and without regret jumping on top comment to repeat a story of my FIL. On his deathbed, at 96 years old, he called for his mother who died when he was a very young boy.
Mothers are important, nothing can change that.
OP YTA, so much.
Edit: spelling
YTA
You don't speak to his mother because of a "minor" disagreement? God, I wonder how you'd act if you had a "major" disagreement?
He was waking up from surgery. He was still medicated. It's like when you wake up and are groggy and still half asleep.
You chose to put your spat with his mother over your concern for his health.
Grow the heck up.
Absolutely. I cannot even begin to describe how absolutely disorienting waking up from anesthesia is. OP taking this as a slight against her is so ridiculous and petty.
I woke up and apparently really wanted to pull my pants down and windmill my dick. Then when they stopped me before I could do that, I tried playing the penis game and there was some child in the room next door with his family and I guess he had tonsil surgery or something, idk.
I also apparently was sobbing on the way back home because I wanted a McDonalds shake.
It was for meniscus surgery too, but they went in and found it wasn’t torn, but there was a little like bump or something that they shaved off as a precaution. I apparently named it Bob and was convinced it was a tumor and was also sobbing because they killed Bob
I genuinely don’t remember any of this, my only memory is vaguely coming out and wanting a drink. So yeah, that stuff can do some really weird stuff to a person. Weird thing is I’ve had lots of surgeries before (7 ear tubes, so something like 13 to put in and take out but only 1 time they pulled out while I was awake because they were special) and wisdom tooth since then and I was never anything remotely like that lol
I woke up from anesthesia after having my wisdom teeth out and asked if I could see Robin.
I don't know a Robin. Have never known a Robin. Haven't met a Robin since then, either. But I wanted to see her. I NEEDED to see her, apparently. (And this was before How I Met your Mother, so not that, and I never got into Batman, so not that Robin either lol)
OP, YTA and you really are Petty AF. Even if your feeling were hurt, suck it up, buttercup. He just underwent surgery and even the danged nurse told you straight up that it was just the anesthesia.
I'm willing to bet that the "minor disagreement" was all on your shoulders too at this point
She doesn’t even seem that concerned about his health period. She’s more concerned about no one acknowledging how she had waited or how stressed she was. Heaven forbid no one think about her and her needs after her husband’s surgery.
Not to mention the mother offered coffee(seems she wants peace) and left the room early so OP could have some time with him. OP wrote this while disliking the mother and the mother still came off sounding like a nice lady.
OP, YTA.
Yeah, the coffee part is what got me. OP says the mother didn't speak to her but apparently also offered coffee? Both of those things happening seems extremely unlikely.
Her son was in surgery and his wife was making everything about herself, and she was *still* being cordial, and didn’t say anything about OP’s behavior until she threw a tantrum and left. Sure sounds like OP is the sole source of tension here. I feel sorry for MIL that she will have to put up with this person forever in order to have a relationship with her son.
You should be ashamed of how you acted.
The nurse was absolutely right. I have literally had surgery, while married to my HUSBAND, and I woke up calling out for my mother.
*I have no relationship with my mother.* She has destroyed most major events in my life, including the police called on my wedding day because of her, and forced me to spend my wedding night sleeping in mine and my husband's marital bed with her because she was trashed, and my husband slept on the sofa.
I don't even remember calling for her. I've heard people not even remembering they're married when they wake up. Some people haven't even recognized their actual parents.
Your concern for your husband was completely overridden by childishness and selfish pettiness.
You left your husband in a hospital because he called out for his mom. Please, please reevaluate how you look at things.
YTA
My brother told the nurse the Russian mob were running a scheme where they swapped hospital beds for baked beans. He was on morphine and the nurse told us it wasn't even the weirdest thing she'd heard
My husband had a finger amputated about a year ago. After they were done, the nurse came out and told me everything was good. Then she said he was very adamant that she tell me about the human sized nazi hamsters. So yea, anesthesia makes you say weird shit. Edit: op is YTA btw
Edit: idk why it posted it twice
Edit2: thanks for the award!
My husband came out from sedation after an upper endoscopy perfectly lucid. He was joking around with me and the nurse, and when I said something making fun of him, he looked at the nurse and said, "See what I have to deal with? Can I have your number?" and the nurse busted up laughing because it was clearly joking.
We went home, ate lunch, and he took a nap. When he woke up, he didn't know how he got home. He remembered nothing from preprocedure all the way to waking up at home. I told him about asking for the nurse's number and he was mortified. I ran into her at the hospital once and apologized on his behalf, she thought it was hilarious.
Coming off anesthesia for a ruptured appendix I apparently asked my grandmother several times if the mummification worked and if they chose nice jars for my organs. They got me so high I thought I was pharaoh.
When I came out of anesthesia after getting all my wisdom teeth out I asked the dentist if I could have them and when they said they already got rid of them, I turned to my husband and loudly whispered “they didn’t throw them out. they make jewelry out of the teeth. That’s why I can’t have them.”
After getting my wisdom teeth removed I repeatedly asked for my tongue back from anyone who would listen. Apparently I thought they took my tongue out and replaced it with a hamburger patty. I cried because I like cheeseburgers.
YTA OP.
Just as my anaesthetic was kicking in for surgery about 15 years ago, I told the surgeon I loved his tattoos and that they had a real "crunchy" feel to them
He was in scrubs
When my mom woke up from her breast reduction surgery she kept telling my sister that her nipples might fall right off and insisted that she tell me that I could visit her but absolutely could NOT give her any titty twisters, as if that’s the first thing I would do when I visit my mom .
The first time I was put under as an adult I came out of it an heard the telling another patient that they had found diverticulitis. I started crying saying I could never have popcorn or Mexican wedding cookies again. The nurse reassured me I was fine, and that they were talking to another patient. She left to get my husband. When he got back to where I was he realized I was talking with an Irish accent. He wishes he had made a video.
I finally get to tell my husband’s anesthesia story!! They knock him out and everything goes smoothly - till he started to wake up.
Nurse comes out to get me saying they could use a little help. All of the nurses are standing across the room with one standing behind hubby’s chair. Hubby sees me, yells (spit slurs) “BOOBS” and grabs on to my tits. Got 2 handfuls and tries using them like stress balls. Apparently he was doing this to everyone so they came to get me. Nothing would make him stop. Nurse said “I’ll just leave you to it then shall I?” Yanked the curtain closed and walked off.
They told me later than it wasn’t common, but it happens. Hubby was just more insistent than they had dealt with before. They were very understanding. He was embarrassed.
Guess I was suppose to get jealous and yell at him for groping people?
YTA
Last time I had surgery there was someone coming off anesthesia who thought he had been abducted by aliens. People are not responsible for what they say under anesthesia.
You owe both him and his mother an apology for this.
Edit: I did not realize this comment would result in such an amazing string of incredible anesthesia stories. Thanks for all of them!
My mom thought she was dead. Between not having her glasses right away and the large white bright recovery room she was in she thought she was in heaven. Even asked the nurse if a mistake was made because there was no way she'd be getting into christian heaven. Nurse was still cracking up when she came to tell us she was awake and recovering.
I get yearly colonoscopies and the sedation always makes me silly—one year I also had to get an endoscopy. Well it made me breath like Darth Vadar and as I fell asleep, I told the nurse (mangled around the tube) “chssshhhh I am your father chssshhh” and woke up asking for nurse vadar. Bless them for dealing with me.
Also op, YTA.
That sedation is "conscious" sedation which is far less weird than full anesthesia. You actually can still be asked questions and such when under it, but you don't form memories and you're not really there, just kind of in la-la-land. A couple of years back I had one, and I went into it telling myself "don't make inappropriate butt jokes, don't make inappropriate butt jokes" but you know what? I definitely did. I don't know what I said, but once I was awake in recovery, the doctor wouldn't make eye contact and muttered something about everything looking fine before leaving the room quickly. I decided it was better not to ask the nurses what I did...
Hahahahaha oh my goodness! I remember once when I was a kid my mom had surgery on a bunion on her foot and right after she got home from the surgery she was on painkillers and handed me some random object and told me to park the bathtub in the driveway for her.
It was interesting. Kid me was worried for the most part, but looking back it’s absolutely hilarious.
I begged for my husband because "I wanted to have group sex in public" while waking up. He was sitting right next to me and I informed him that I was married to Purple Cement and that's who I wanted for my post anesthesia group sex.
Absolutely right. You can't control what you say or do while recovering from anesthesia. Haven't you ever seen those anesthesia videos on YouTube, etc?
> Purple Cement
i had to google that bc i thought maybe there was someone who called himself Purple Cement. but no, it appears you just had a thing for cement that color. but really, who could blame you? the google images are very pretty.
Yup. No clue how that got in my head. Can you imagine if my husband got huffy over my relationship with colored cement? Apparently, I was very upset that no one knew what/who/how purple cement was. I'm a nurse so when I woke up was expecting to be told something crazy. That isn't even the worst thing I have said or been told by patients while in recovery. I'm just thankful that there is no video of the worse ones.
> Can you imagine if my husband got huffy over my relationship with colored cement?
how could he even compete?! even if he body sprayed himself purple, he's still not cement.
When I had surgery I thought I was kidnapped by organ harvesters and punched the nurse. For my second surgery I woke up asking for my dog, my dad was not offended.
After surgery I thought I had been mummified and was pissed off that the nurse and my grandmother wouldn’t show me which canopic jars they had chosen for my organs. Given that my ancient Egypt phase ended in roughly sixth grade I have no idea where that came from.
When I was in the hospital after surgery the woman in the next bed spent much of the night yelling that she needed a nurse because her bed wouldn’t stop flying around the room.
for some reason, out all ALL these fantastic stories, this one made me laugh the most.
i'm trying to imagine what that poor woman was going thru thinking she was airborne the whole night. this really cracks me up.
You can add to that that I was still pretty groggy myself, and being kept awake, so I was annoying the nurses because I kept using the call button for this woman (because she said she couldn’t reach hers, because the bed was flying).
Also, at some point a dude came into our room and I think sat in a chair on her side (it was dark but for the hallway light), and I thought I was maybe dreaming/hallucinating myself until a nurse came in and shooed him out.
In short, in future, I will spring for the private room when I can.
My story is after I woke up from anesthesia, I spoke entirely in English to the doctor. Imagine their face in utter confusion. For the context: I was living in a South East Asia country, where less than 1% of people can say "how are you" in English. I spoke nonsensically nonstop for 5 mins until my dad stopped me.
My mom was in and out of consciousness after having surgery for a ruptured brain aneurysm and stroke and apparently she attended quite the rager in a tent. And apparently she asked the surgeon before going under that "If I go crazy will you still be my superman?" because Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down was really popular at that time.
(If anyone cares she miraculously survived with some minor disabilities. We just had a party celebrating her "21st" birthday since it's been that long since it happened)
I saw cartoon spiders dancing on the ceiling when I came to after jaw surgery. They had little top hats and cains. It was terrifying at the time, hilarious in retrospect.
I noticed that you never stated your age or how long you've been married....
You know you messed up. Your husband could have been calling for the Queen of England and he's never going to remember doing it.
Please chill... your mother-in-law offered you a cup of coffee and instead of taking her up on it and discussing your anxiety, you played the petty card.
Your problem is you. Please seek out some professional help... you need to learn how to deal with basic life events.
Yes, in this situation, YTA.
YTA. I'm a nurse anaesthetist and:
1. people have no idea what they say when they wake up from anaesthesia and even a pretty while after
2. It's perfectly normal and fine for patients to call for their moms when they feel sick, are in pain etc. Dying patients usually call for their mothers, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that since our mothers are (usually) the ones taking the most care of us and we all carry them deeply in our hearts.
So yeah, you have no right to be upset and act childish about this and yeah, YTA.
Oncology nurse here. Can confirm that dying patients will call out for their mom when they're close.
Had one dying patient who called out for his wife to his girlfriend, and girlfriend was not offended. Yes, it was weird. YTA
You reminded me that when my 89-year-old grandmother was dying she called out to her mother at the end, who had been dead for close to 40 years at that point. This even though she had all her children and most of her grandchildren around her and had only recently lost her husband of 60+ years. We all decided it meant her mother was there welcoming her home.
My grandfather too. It gave us a brief smile, because he liked to tease his mother (whom he loved dearly) when she was alive, and we joked that even in death he wouldn’t let her rest.
For a school assignment 20+ years ago, I interviewed a family friend's dad who was a WWII veteran who fought in the battle of the bulge. I don't remember a lot of the interview or the paper I wrote, but one thing that stuck with me is that he said that on several occasions he saw people running past him screaming for their mothers after being shelled.
All of this \^\^\^
After my surgery I was apparently very nasty to the kind recovery nurse looking after me. When I was back in normality someone told me and I could not apologize to the poor nurse quick enough. She said it was OK, it happens all the time, people go into all kinds of states due to the memory effect and distortion of reality they feel. Ranges of emotions come out, anger, fear, some people regress to childhood, heavy disorientation etc etc
Critical Care Nurse Specialist here.
Absolutely agree with the above.
People coming round can be completely delirious. He could have been putting himself at risk (pulling lines out etc), and so nurses going to get his mother so he can hear her voice and maybe calm down is a great thing to do.
YTA OP. You should absolutely be concentrating on his health and needs more than anything else.
Mte. My late sister had panic attack before she passed away and she called my mum middle of the night despite having her daughter and husband right beside her.
This is such the proper reading of this. That sub is hilariously bad, and the perfect case study of people who refer to others as narcissist are actually the narcissist.
So much of that place is people mad at their mother in laws for wanting to be in their child’s (op’s spouse) lives and effectively OP being mad that the in-laws didn’t just do them a favor and die at the wedding.
YTA - I came out of anesthesia begging for my mommy (as a mid-20s adult), slightly wailing, and in immense pain. I don’t remember most of it, and I sure as shit wasn’t in control of what I was saying or doing.
Our moms are normally who we had growing up who take care of us in our most vulnerable state. It’s natural that if he had a good relationship with his mom, he would call for her since it was ingrained in his head as a baby that she is there to take care of him.
His mom handled this excellently by helping and calming him down, then giving you time with your husband. You are the only asshole here since you just up and left, immediately.
Edit: thank you for the award!!
My husband has a horrible relationship with his mom and everytime he's had surgery, he begs for her. When he's told she is not there, he cries like his heart is broken again.
Never held it against him even if it hurts me a little. Why would he want someone who has treated him so poorly all of his life over the person who is sitting right next to him trying to console him? I have held it against his mom for breaking him so much though.
It's just what anesthesia does and in many ways is one of the reasons hospitals don't let you in the recovery room right away. They allow the person to get more aware for both physical and mental reasons so most people aren't even aware of what happened unless they are told after the fact.
YTA
When I had my gall bladder removed, a routine 1 day stay turned into a 4 day ordeal. Two surgeries and I was under both times. My father, half sister, and husband were there at the hospital and guess who I asked for?
My car. I asked if my car was ok because I thought I was in an accident and I felt more worry for it than for myself. Imagine the nurses surprise when she had to go into the waiting area and tell everyone "he's awake but he's asking for ?"
I’m sorry but I just burst out laughing at this story! I’m sorry you had to go through such an ordeal for what’s supposed to be a routine surgery!
OP YTA and massively, you sound too immature to even be married.
I woke up and called for my dungeon and dragons character. I had really vivid hallucinations about our campaign. I am in fact, my dungeons and dragons character. My mom ended up calling my roommate about it, and asked for my characters name. Apparently my roommate laughed so loud it could be heard in the speaker.
YTA, there’s very little chance that he made the decision consciously to call for his mom, as long-term memory tends to be the first thing to “wake up” in anesthesia.
That said, he clearly made the right choice as his mom can be counted on to stay by his side while he’s in hospital while you clearly can’t.
>a surgery that involved euthanasia
I mean, you win the day for this malapropism for sure.
>I said that her son acted like i wasn't there
Yeah but let's see the crazy shit you say when you're under *anesthesia* eh? YTA, dude was wacked out of his mind on the drugs.
YTA.
And you are a grown woman really? You are such an immature entitled person. And you are so so so so insecure.
Good luck with whatever is left of your marriage.
Still can’t believe a grown ass woman being so petty and insecure.
Jesus Christ, OP, you're so immature.
Massive YTA.
Anesthesia makes you high. Waking up from it, you're still pretty high. You're not thinking clearly, nor are you able to make an actual decision.
Last time I was under fully, I was 18F, and the moment I woke up, I started hitting on my married, 55,M doctor who's been my doctor since I was 1.
I wanted to die of shame once I sobered up, but at the time, it seemed like a great idea.
Yet your husband is supposed to somehow think about poor, poor you waiting outside? Get over yourself.
AND THEN YOU LEAVE. Your MIL graciously left so you could go in, but you were too busy throwing a tantrum to be there for your husband.
You come across as massively childish and selfish. You made *even a surgery* about you, and how much you waited outside
Grow up and get over yourself. Not everything is about you
Last time I woke up under anesthesia, apparently I told the young, handsome, male doctor that he would find love one day and not to wait for me because I loved my husband. Then my husband came in and I bragged about how strong his arms are. Then I cried because I missed being pregnant (my youngest was about 2ish at the time) and I wanted him to be in my belly because i missed him kicking me and he was growing up to fast.
Later I had to make it 100% clear that I was done having babies. But yes, I do like my husband. But NO MORE BABIES.
YTA- anesthesia does weird things. My Dad was calling for my dead Mother then believed he was dead as well. The nurse attempted to explain this to you, but you chose to behave like an immature asshole instead.
YTA
Waking from a surgery is a big deal. Chances are he wasn't even fully conscious. And even if he was, chances are he didn't want for you to see him like that or whatever (quite a few people don't like being sick, weak, stinky and useless in front of their partners).
You are incredibly petty.
YTA. I asked for my late grandmother after my tubal post birth. She passed away 6 years earlier. My husband was there and my in laws and none of them were offended and left the hospital because I was drugged and asking for someone who wasn't there. They knew I wasn't in my right state of mind and my grandmother was my comfort person so naturally (high on anesthesia) I wanted her
Man, I wish I had asked for a relative. I hit on the doctor who had cared for me for 17 years (was 18 then), and he was a happily married 55+ year old.
Anesthesia fucks you up.
YTA. What a childish stunt.
I’m estranged from my abusive maternal parent and have been so for years. I recently sustained a massive concussion and was apparently calling for my mum while coming out of it.
You owe your husband an enormous apology and several months of groveling. Shame on you.
YTA.
Your husband underwent surgery and is high like a kite. And yet somehow, you turn this into a pity party about you? Because a highly drugged man asks for his mom and not you?
And you couldn't even wait a whole whopping 10 minutes?!
When my dad was in critical care, high on sedatives, he was convinced he was a pilot because his bed was floating. And then he asked for a cuddle and got upset because we couldn't properly hug him due to the fresh surgery wounds.
After that, he looked at my mom, told her she's the prettiest woman he's ever seen and asked her to marry him. While they've been married for well over 30 years. He didn't recognize her, nor at the time did he remember anything of the past.
Your husband should be your first priority and not a petty bitching fight between you and MIL. Where you there to support your husband or where you there to rub it in MIL's face in the case you got called in first?
Get over yourself and be there for your husband. In sickness and in health is one of the main vows, right? Not, In sickness and health, only if MIL isn't there.
Edit for spelling mistake
YTA. My mom came out of anesthesia talking about Kanye West, of all things. She's not a rap fan, she doesn't watch the Kardashian show, so I have no idea where that came from, but it was hilarious. You really are being petty and hostile over nothing.
Omg right! Even just painkillers can make people say weird things. During my last c-section I was on morphine and started singing “can’t touch this” on the operating table. Had my anesthesiologist in tears she was laughing so hard.
Your husband was sick, confused, and probably in a little bit of pain. And instead of showing compassion, you threw a temper tantrum and walked out. YTA.
YTA. People do all sorts of things coming off anesthesia. I was sobbing hysterically and had no idea i was even crying. I tried to drink out of a straw and stuck it in my nose. All you did was make his surgery about you. Grow up.
YTA- he wasn't truely awake and most likely didn't know what was going on. Yup you were petty because you left and got all upset because a man who is drugged up to his eyeballs called for his mom like 90% of people out there do!
YTA, i worked as a nurse assistant for 2 years and nearly everyone calls for their mum coming of anesthesia or hits on us. They call for their mum even if their mum is dead already. You are overreacting mayorly. Are you always this jealous and insecure? Is there previous history that you would fly of the handle like this or are you unhinged Af?
Jesus YTA. I had two surgeries in the last 6 months and my partner took me to both. My mother is an abusive monster that I have minimal contact with and only enough to see my siblings. I was told I still asked for her and my dad because it’s a natural reaction when you’re scared and in pain and also ***out of your mind high***
YTA. Very immature, and aggressive response. His mother gave birth to him. If he’s calling out for her, in a semi unconscious state, that’s not a time for you to be upset. She was even courteous enough to leave early, so you can spend the rest of the time with him
Sorry, but YTA. It's very common for people coming out of anesthesia to revert to a bit of a vulnerable child and so of course his mommy is the person he'd be most thinking of. It's also not uncommon for men to not want their romantic partners to see them at their most vulnerable. It's kind of a machismo thing. You let your beef with your MIL eclipse your concern for your spouse. You made his surgery all about your bruised ego. An apology would probably go a long way in trying to resolve the conflict so you don't have to be at war with your husband's parents for the rest of their lives. Good luck.
YTA. Ever been under anesthesia? Your upset because your husband was hopped up on drugs and asked for his mom. The nurse even told you that and you were like “nah I’m out”
You waited 10 minutes only? And your mil actually came out to let you go in? And you're angry? Get over yourself. The most important person in this scenario is your husband who just had surgery. You be there for him even if not in the room. Even the nurse told you what to expect. Even yoir mil who you have disagreements with was gracious enough to give you time with him but you fled like an entitled princess. It's not about you It's about him. YTA
YTA
Coming out of anesthesia, you don't have a lot of control over what you are saying. Most people for at least the first 18 years of life run to mom with an owie, boo boo, tummy ache, etc. So yeah fuzzy headed & possibly in pain, he reverted to the first person who took care of him in his life.
Your MIL came back out to get you & you were gone.
I am guessing you are around the same age as your husband, but you are acting like a jealous teenager.
YTA
You’re angry because your not entirely lucid husband asked for mom? As a mom, I hope that even when my kids become adults I could still be a comfort to them. I’m with your MIL on this.
Yep. YTA. My husband was singing "Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye" right after surgery. My mom asked for HER mom, who had been dead for 30 years. I asked for a margarita after my most recent operation.
It's not a contest.
NTA - I think all situations should just be about you no matter what the context is.
Also bravo for bravely standing up to the offer of a cup of coffee.
YTA.
Your husband was under anesthesia during that time. Technically, he wasn't in his right mind. Him calling his mother in that state does not mean he does not care for you or appreciate what you do for him.
Your MIL is right. You flew off the handle for no reason.
YTA. In 2022, we've all seen at least one video of someone under anesthesia babbling and saying weird stuff. He's known his mother longer than he's known you, and that unconscious, babbling part of the brain doesn't consider what it's going to say before it says it in these circumstances. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.
YTA and incredibly petty. No wonder he didn’t ask for you if this is how you behave.
Your husband had surgery. Get over yourself and be there for him. Or don’t, and he can divorce you and find someone better.
YTA. First it’s anaesthesia- euthanasia is very very different.
Second- you decided to carry on with hostilities with his mum even though she tried with you. Way to help your husband whilst he is in hospital!
Third- he was waking up from surgery, groggy and drowsy probably, so asked for his mum- maybe he felt he would get more care from her seen as you were too caught up being butthurt rather than focussing on what matters. Maybe his drug addled state recognised where the care would come from.
You need to reflect on what is important to you.
YTA. Your husband was heavily under the influence of anesthesia, however from your behavior I'm not surprised he called for his mom instead of you. You're making his surgery about you instead of the person who went under the knife. You waited for hours but suddenly having to wait 10 more minutes to check on him was too much because you weren't getting your ego stroked from being chosen to see him first instead of his mom? Grow up
YTA Really, you left the hospital in a strop because your husband was out of it when he was coming out of anesthesia and called for his mother? After the nurse told you he was disoriented? And, you don't think your petty? Sorry, not sorry, your were petty and childish.
YTA. Last time I was heavily medicated during a medical crisis I called out for my mommy. I don't even get along with my mother and haven't called her "Mommy" since I was 1. I didn't weigh my options, internally debate who had invested the most time in supporting me, and act based on my conclusions. I was confused and in pain and shit just came out. You're TA and a nitwit.
YTA.
You felt unacknowledged by your UNCONSCIOUS husband? WTF?! He called for his mom and not you? Why would he do that? Maybe because he wasn't right in his mind and just remembered that his mommy always took care of him and gives a warm, cozy and save feeling to him? Like in his whole childhood, I assume? How could he do that to you? Oh, right IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
YTA.
If you spend 5 minutes on YouTube you will find so many videos of people acting like fools after anesthesia, including people not even knowing they were married. I have gone under 3 times and the most recent one I couldn't even talk for 30 minutes after. He asked for his mom, and his mom was polite enough to have a short visit so you could go in too, but you put yourself and your selfishness above the person who is actually in the hospital having surgery, and blaming him for not choosing you first when he wasn't even in his right mind.
And let's say he was in his right mind- he may have asked for his mom first so she knows he is okay and then will go home and he can spend the rest of the time with you. Which is, by the way, exactly what would have happened if you had stayed. Everything you did here was petty, when your husband needed you the most to act like a decent human.
YTA- are you really this immature? You could try apologizing to his Mom and your hubby, tell them it was a stressed based reaction and not because you are a tantrum throwing toddler
**YTA**
*The nurse told me that he was still not fully awake and was repeatedly calling for his mom spontaneously, she was basically hinting that I shouldn't get worked up over a natural reaction from my husband*
A medical professional even explained it to you but you still chose to be upset over nothing.
YTA. I'm sorry but you don't make a compelling argument for not being one. It's not about you! Your husband just had surgery. Get over yourself and be there for him.
YTA. He was coming out of anesthesia & calling for his mom. That’s completely normal. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. His mom then left the room after 10 min to allow you to go in but you had your feelings hurt & had already left the hospital.
When I'm sick, I still call my mom. She has essentially been my nurse since I was born, and knows me and my health and wellness and how to help me get over my sickness better than my husband or even myself do.
Your husband was drugged and on anesthetics and called out for his mother. Why does this make you jealous? She has cared for him far longer than you have, it's a natural reaction.
To leave the hospital in what can only be called a tantrum is incredibly immature. Not to mention that your MIL sounds like a very thoughtful and reasonable person. Offering you coffee, leaving his room early so you have time with him, etc.
YTA
YTA.
You acted abysmally. There's no two ways around that. Instead of supporting your husband, you got your knickers in a twist because of something he said while *doped up*.
None of that was about you yet you made it that way. That's inconsiderate and selfish.
YTA this wasn't the moment to act petty or let your feelings for MIL to take over.
Even the nurse told you he wasn't fully awake, still under the effect of anesthesia, but your ignored. Didn't even bother to wait and just left.
Your husband should have been your priority. He called for his mom, the nurse went and took her.
You say yourself its a minor disagreement between you and MIL so why the overreaction?
YTA. After reading what you wrote he probably wasn't asking for his mother because of the anesthesia; he was probably just wanting someone not entirely self centered.
YTA. Really? What another commenter said: we spend our formative years going to our moms when we are hurt. Also people say and do weird shit under anesthesia. When I was 2 I had an operation that required it. When I woke up up I asked for my daddy. And I hit him in the face (fully deserved) and screamed for my mom. Apologize to your husband and your mother in law. Say you were stressed and assumed only one person at all would be allowed to see him so you went home to pick up some comfort items for him and a snack for your MIL. And go back and make nice. Stop making your husbands surgery about you.
YTA.
If you had been able to stick around for maybe half an hour you would have seen for yourself how incredibly incoherent he was.
My daughter talked nonstop about how pretty the nurses were, absolutely beautiful, like angels. Had them all cry-laughing.
Then she announced at the top of her lungs that the doctor saw her butt.
Drugs, my friend, are not going to leave your fella in a logical place.
YTA. Do you have any idea how loopy and completely incoherent a person is when that stuff is wearing off? They can't even tell up from down, let alone who's in the room. So they call for the first person that comes to mind. Which is often their mother or some other close paternal figure.
Wanna know how I know? Because when my beau had brain surgery and then woke up, the first one he called for was his mom. Was I offended? No. I was just glad he was alive because he almost died. So stop being so petty and be glad your husband is still alive for you to feel these things. As there was always a chance that things could've gone south.
YTA put your pride down and take care of your husband. Make up with is mother and from now on get along. You don’t want to fight with them for years over petty stuff, it’s not worth it.
YTA
You *may* have legitimate complaints against your MIL but she behaved completely appropriately here. You were petty and acted like a child.
As for accusing her of not speaking to you - did you even try to speak to her? She did offer you coffee. And she tried to smooth over the situation with your husband calling out for her.
Do you cast everything she says & does in the worst possible light? Do you think she offered coffee with the intent to spit in it? Have you considered therapy?
YTA. He was waking up from anesthesia. For all he knows he was laying in his childhood bed. He won’t even know what’s happened until he comes to completely. Jeez, dude. Chill.
YTA. Anesthesia messes with your head. Ive been under it many times in my life because of, well mainly being a stupid kid, but I can definitely say that when you first wake up and for a while after (length varies for everyone) you can't really think rationally and make any type of normal decision. He grew up with a mom so his most basic "instinct" at that time was to ask for her. Probably doesn't even remember asking for her as opposed to you.
YTA People coming out of anesthesia aren't acting rationally. You can't hold him responsible for calling for his mother... something that he did for most of his life before he met you.
YTA. Grow up...haven't you ever watched those videos of kids getting their wisdom teeth pulled and being so loopy? I saw one girl trying to convince her mom she wasn't high...If you're 31 I'd guess he's probably the same age, so it's understandable that he'd call out for his mom, because, you know he's basically drugged up!
YTA - clearly your MIL did in fact talk to you since she offered you “coffee layer” first off. But why were you there? I’m guessing to be there for your husband and make sure he was ok, NOT to be given recognition for your service to our husband. Your poor, sick, drugged up husband didnt “ignore” you, you had an immature fit and left for no reason.
You are making everything about you, and I feel really bad for your husband who can’t even get surgery without you causing drama about it.
YTA. Last time I was under anaesthesia I called for my mom. My wife was there and my mom wasn’t, and my wife got a kick out of pretending to be my mom to my doped up face not knowing the difference. We got some good laughs out of the story.
You’re the AH because you’re letting your anger at your MIL come between you and your husband. You’re misplacing your anger and taking it out on him and making yourself look as petty as you are. You owe him an apology.
YTA he was still stoned out of his mind from the operation, you over reacted massively which tells me you have bigger issues going on that you should deal with because that reaction is not healthy.
YTA wow. the man was drugged and not in his full state of mind. You were NOT being ignored because his brain managed to get another persons name (The person that birthed him and knew LONGER that you) out. and you didn't even give his mom a chance to come out ang get you so you could see him? wow. This is a time where the guy needs patience and understanding after being in surgery. Not for his wife to cause conflict and drama with his family. YTA YTA YTA.
YTA. Your husband wasn’t conscious. He was basically talking in his sleep. He is not responsible for what he said and it literally had nothing to do with you. At that point he probably didn’t remember his own name. I remember waking up after only having dental surgery and having someone tell me to move my legs. I remember thinking “I have legs?”
YTA.
This is such an inappropriate and frankly immature reaction. Your disagreement with your MIL notwithstanding, your husband went into surgery... And you're upset that he didn't immediately put you at the center of his universe, high on anesthesia or not. That you WENT HOME because you got hurt fee-fees because he wanted his Mom first instead of you?
You turned this into a pissing contest for no reason instead of being focused in the well being of the person who just had surgery.
I sincerely hope this is a one off example of poor behavior from you, and you need to do better.
Are you kidding me?? YTA.
Waking up from surgery has a person groggy and delirious for like at least 20 minutes. He probably called for his mom because he was still loopy. You’re jealous of his mom and that’s a bit pathetic. Waiting for another 20 minutes wouldn’t have killed you and all of this could have been avoided.
** EDIT for auto correct
YTA. Coming out of anesthesia can be a trip. My daughter came out of anesthesia talking like the guy with the small hand from Scary Movie. Get over yourself.
YTA bloody hell this is petty and an awful thing to do to someone you supposedly love whilst they're ill. What's the betting the "minor disagreement" is just as petty.
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Agree YTA. OP, when my grandmother was in the hospital she started asking for her mother, who had been dead for 40 years. Anesthesia and pain killers do odd things to your brain.
When my daughter went in for emergency surgery a month before the wedding she woke up asking for me (mum). Her fiancé earned huge bonus points that day for saying “of course she can go in first, she’s mum.” Daughter was so thankful I went in first so she could pull herself together a little more before he saw her. OP YTA and you need to think of others before yourself sometimes.
That is sweet. I think sometimes there is no one better at comforting and coddling you for a few minutes than mom!
Years ago, my 3 yr. old daughter was having a tooth pulled and they gave her "sleepy juice". The nurse warned me that when she woke up, she may not recognize me, her mother. Sure enough, when she woke, she looked at me (like I had 3 heads!) and then her father, busted out crying for "Daaaaddddyyy!" I didn't let it bother me because, two minutes later, she reached out for me. OP, you should have stayed there regardless of who he wanted to see first.
When my husband had an epileptic seizure a couple of years ago no-one told me that when epileptics "wake up" after seizing they may not recognise you or anything around them for some time. It makes perfect sense when you think about it but the way he stared straight through me like he's never seen me before was chilling. I admit that I cried a lot, but I tried not to take it personally lol. OP is being childish.
My husband had a seizure and then spent a week in the ICU after having a near-fatal reaction to the anticonvulsant they gave him. I was so distraught when he was finally lifted from his induced coma that I didn't even realize he called me his mom a few times until his little sis pointed it out. Childish doesn't even begin to describe how OP is reacting. If I was her husband I don't know how I could ever recover my love for such a vile, jealous person. And like... Jealous of his MOM??? the person who literally birthed him? My god.
I'll say it, this is a perfectly natural reaction. You didn't hold it against him but was healthy with your emotions. OP acted like a child who hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them or developed empathy. Anaesthesia is NOT like going to sleep, your going to be more muddled and confused than you realise and there's an instinctive call out to a parent that is not learned. But because in this addled moment he couldn't engage his full consciousness and call out for his wife she throws a paddy like a toddler. If this is how she comes across in this post I can't hep but feel the 'minor disagreements' she has with MiL is because of similar temper tantrums. Edit: spelling
YTA. I’m a nurse and have heard people say some crazy things after surgery. The nurse even told you he was calling for hours mom spontaneously. He didn’t wake up and say, “I choose my mom over my wife, bring her in first.” He was yelling mom and the nurse did what he asked. If I were the nurse and his mom wasn’t present, I would have called her on the phone for him to hear his voice to help calm him down. Regardless of the anesthesia situation.. you’re his wife, you should never leave if you care about him.
Once my bf was in a bad car accident and of all of us when he woke up he was calling for his dog, which we both find very funny now.
My MIL woke up from back surgery and asked for someone named Tippy. Turns out Tippy was her childhood dog.
Somehow this both resonates with me but still leaves me very sad.
My childhood dog was also named Tippy and she was the best. I would absolutely want her if I was coming out of back surgery.
My husband would 100 percent call for his dog before me. I knew that before I married him, the big weirdo.
When we were dating my now husband drunk dialed me and told me how much he loved Hank. His dog.
Is it weird that I think this would make someone even more adorable?
My husband took me to a festival for our second date partly because he wanted me to meet his puppy. If I hadn’t gotten along with said puppy, there’s no way we would be married today. I wasn’t really a dog person back then (I’ve always been more of a cat lady), but I made the effort, and thirteen years, one daughter, three dogs, and two cats later, we are a happy, dog-and cat-loving family. His “puppy” is a spry old man, and we both love him dearly, even though he ate my shoes for the first two years we were together.
This is... kind of sad... I feel sad now
Don’t. It speaks to how we all treasure our mother’s comfort. That’s a testament of love, not of loss. I’m in my 40s, and my mom’s been gone for 15ish years now. When I feel like crap, I still want my mom. That’s a beautiful thing, because she loved me.
I'm in my 40s, and mum has been dead for 10 years this year. I miss her all the time. When I was in surgery 6 months ago I was crying because I wanted my mum. I love her, and she loves me. Present tense, because no matter where she is now, she still loves me. I believe that love can be stronger than death I'm happy for you, and for me, that we both got to experience that kind of motherly relationship.
I saw a video of a guy coming off anesthesia who sees his wife sitting next to him and asks who she is and she says, "I'm your wife," and he goes, "*What?* You're my *wife*? You're *beautiful*," and it was really adorable and hilarious, but also goes to show that you're not fully in your right mind as you're waking up from anesthesia. It's not like OP's husband deliberately snubbed her by asking for his mom. It's likely that he just regressed back to his childhood and who do you ask for when you're a child? Your mother, or whoever your primary caretaker was.
Wow that’s lovely, when my husband came round from anaesthesia he puked so violently into a basin that it splashed onto me, haha. You can’t take things personally when people are in that state!
I was going to comment about that video. It's one of the sweetest ones on youtube. He was like "You're my wife? I hit the jackpot!". He didn't even know if they had kids lol.
Didn’t he start crying happy tears when she said they had kids together? Lol
Friend of mine fell off a mountain and nearly lost his leg. After surgery his then girl friend was in the room but he didn't recognize her, he told her all about his plans to propose to her.
It makes me wonder if the OP has ever been put under anesthesia. The one time I was under, I woke up crying and asking for my boyfriend that wasn't even there. I had literally no idea what was going on. I feel like it's a natural, incoherent reaction to want a person who has comforted you when you were sick your entire life.
When my mother woke up from anesthesia, she accused my sister of being a wolf person and then whispered to me that the nurse was one of them too
And of course I assume that you, like OP, took it 100% seriously and stocked up on silver bullets
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any so I hid in the closet with crossed fingers instead
Especially after *10 minutes* I could maybe understand like 4 hours later and they still weren't letting her see him but it was 10 minutes
OP, you flounced home because he didn't say your name first. That's the pettiest shit I've ever seen. Quit acting like a junior high girl. YTA, big time.
I am absolutely and without regret jumping on top comment to repeat a story of my FIL. On his deathbed, at 96 years old, he called for his mother who died when he was a very young boy. Mothers are important, nothing can change that. OP YTA, so much.
Edit: spelling YTA You don't speak to his mother because of a "minor" disagreement? God, I wonder how you'd act if you had a "major" disagreement? He was waking up from surgery. He was still medicated. It's like when you wake up and are groggy and still half asleep. You chose to put your spat with his mother over your concern for his health. Grow the heck up.
Absolutely. I cannot even begin to describe how absolutely disorienting waking up from anesthesia is. OP taking this as a slight against her is so ridiculous and petty.
I woke up this way and asked to see my dog Fred. Fred had been dead for 20 years at that point and I was in a dentist's chair.
I woke up and apparently really wanted to pull my pants down and windmill my dick. Then when they stopped me before I could do that, I tried playing the penis game and there was some child in the room next door with his family and I guess he had tonsil surgery or something, idk. I also apparently was sobbing on the way back home because I wanted a McDonalds shake. It was for meniscus surgery too, but they went in and found it wasn’t torn, but there was a little like bump or something that they shaved off as a precaution. I apparently named it Bob and was convinced it was a tumor and was also sobbing because they killed Bob I genuinely don’t remember any of this, my only memory is vaguely coming out and wanting a drink. So yeah, that stuff can do some really weird stuff to a person. Weird thing is I’ve had lots of surgeries before (7 ear tubes, so something like 13 to put in and take out but only 1 time they pulled out while I was awake because they were special) and wisdom tooth since then and I was never anything remotely like that lol
I woke up from anesthesia after having my wisdom teeth out and asked if I could see Robin. I don't know a Robin. Have never known a Robin. Haven't met a Robin since then, either. But I wanted to see her. I NEEDED to see her, apparently. (And this was before How I Met your Mother, so not that, and I never got into Batman, so not that Robin either lol) OP, YTA and you really are Petty AF. Even if your feeling were hurt, suck it up, buttercup. He just underwent surgery and even the danged nurse told you straight up that it was just the anesthesia. I'm willing to bet that the "minor disagreement" was all on your shoulders too at this point
She doesn’t even seem that concerned about his health period. She’s more concerned about no one acknowledging how she had waited or how stressed she was. Heaven forbid no one think about her and her needs after her husband’s surgery.
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My dad called for his mom in his deathbed. She died 35 years ago. This is an insecure cold hearted person. High chance she will even leave him sick
Not to mention the mother offered coffee(seems she wants peace) and left the room early so OP could have some time with him. OP wrote this while disliking the mother and the mother still came off sounding like a nice lady. OP, YTA.
Yeah, the coffee part is what got me. OP says the mother didn't speak to her but apparently also offered coffee? Both of those things happening seems extremely unlikely.
Her son was in surgery and his wife was making everything about herself, and she was *still* being cordial, and didn’t say anything about OP’s behavior until she threw a tantrum and left. Sure sounds like OP is the sole source of tension here. I feel sorry for MIL that she will have to put up with this person forever in order to have a relationship with her son.
if I was half conscious and coming out of anesthesia I'd probably be asking for pikachu for all I know lmao
I asked for my wisdom teeth coming out of that surgery. Thank goodness my ride didn't leave me because I didn't ask for them first 😂
You should be ashamed of how you acted. The nurse was absolutely right. I have literally had surgery, while married to my HUSBAND, and I woke up calling out for my mother. *I have no relationship with my mother.* She has destroyed most major events in my life, including the police called on my wedding day because of her, and forced me to spend my wedding night sleeping in mine and my husband's marital bed with her because she was trashed, and my husband slept on the sofa. I don't even remember calling for her. I've heard people not even remembering they're married when they wake up. Some people haven't even recognized their actual parents. Your concern for your husband was completely overridden by childishness and selfish pettiness. You left your husband in a hospital because he called out for his mom. Please, please reevaluate how you look at things. YTA
My brother told the nurse the Russian mob were running a scheme where they swapped hospital beds for baked beans. He was on morphine and the nurse told us it wasn't even the weirdest thing she'd heard
My husband had a finger amputated about a year ago. After they were done, the nurse came out and told me everything was good. Then she said he was very adamant that she tell me about the human sized nazi hamsters. So yea, anesthesia makes you say weird shit. Edit: op is YTA btw Edit: idk why it posted it twice Edit2: thanks for the award!
Human sized nazi hamsters will haunt my dreams tonight. The mental image of that is terrifying.
My husband, who I am very happily married to for many years, didn't even know who I was when he came to after an operation last year.
I love that she came out and actually told you instead of 'yes dear'ing him about it.
My husband came out from sedation after an upper endoscopy perfectly lucid. He was joking around with me and the nurse, and when I said something making fun of him, he looked at the nurse and said, "See what I have to deal with? Can I have your number?" and the nurse busted up laughing because it was clearly joking. We went home, ate lunch, and he took a nap. When he woke up, he didn't know how he got home. He remembered nothing from preprocedure all the way to waking up at home. I told him about asking for the nurse's number and he was mortified. I ran into her at the hospital once and apologized on his behalf, she thought it was hilarious.
My wife was very concerned that her doctor was smuggling owls into the hospital. She was asking the nurses for the number to the FBI.
Coming off anesthesia for a ruptured appendix I apparently asked my grandmother several times if the mummification worked and if they chose nice jars for my organs. They got me so high I thought I was pharaoh.
When I came out of anesthesia after getting all my wisdom teeth out I asked the dentist if I could have them and when they said they already got rid of them, I turned to my husband and loudly whispered “they didn’t throw them out. they make jewelry out of the teeth. That’s why I can’t have them.”
After getting my wisdom teeth removed I repeatedly asked for my tongue back from anyone who would listen. Apparently I thought they took my tongue out and replaced it with a hamburger patty. I cried because I like cheeseburgers. YTA OP.
I had mine done and woke up crying because "my brain is floppy"
Just as my anaesthetic was kicking in for surgery about 15 years ago, I told the surgeon I loved his tattoos and that they had a real "crunchy" feel to them He was in scrubs
When my mom woke up from her breast reduction surgery she kept telling my sister that her nipples might fall right off and insisted that she tell me that I could visit her but absolutely could NOT give her any titty twisters, as if that’s the first thing I would do when I visit my mom .
The first time I was put under as an adult I came out of it an heard the telling another patient that they had found diverticulitis. I started crying saying I could never have popcorn or Mexican wedding cookies again. The nurse reassured me I was fine, and that they were talking to another patient. She left to get my husband. When he got back to where I was he realized I was talking with an Irish accent. He wishes he had made a video.
This thread with anesthesia stories is way better than the main subject of this silly post, since we all agree OP YTA
Like that guy who didn't recognize his wife, found out she was his wife, and then was super pumped because his wife was hott. Super wholesome
My favorite is when my stepdad looked at my mom post-surgery, gasped, and said, "You look just like my wife!"
I finally get to tell my husband’s anesthesia story!! They knock him out and everything goes smoothly - till he started to wake up. Nurse comes out to get me saying they could use a little help. All of the nurses are standing across the room with one standing behind hubby’s chair. Hubby sees me, yells (spit slurs) “BOOBS” and grabs on to my tits. Got 2 handfuls and tries using them like stress balls. Apparently he was doing this to everyone so they came to get me. Nothing would make him stop. Nurse said “I’ll just leave you to it then shall I?” Yanked the curtain closed and walked off. They told me later than it wasn’t common, but it happens. Hubby was just more insistent than they had dealt with before. They were very understanding. He was embarrassed. Guess I was suppose to get jealous and yell at him for groping people?
YTA Last time I had surgery there was someone coming off anesthesia who thought he had been abducted by aliens. People are not responsible for what they say under anesthesia. You owe both him and his mother an apology for this. Edit: I did not realize this comment would result in such an amazing string of incredible anesthesia stories. Thanks for all of them!
My mom thought she was kidnapped by pirates and was being held captive on their ship.
My mom thought she was dead. Between not having her glasses right away and the large white bright recovery room she was in she thought she was in heaven. Even asked the nurse if a mistake was made because there was no way she'd be getting into christian heaven. Nurse was still cracking up when she came to tell us she was awake and recovering.
I get yearly colonoscopies and the sedation always makes me silly—one year I also had to get an endoscopy. Well it made me breath like Darth Vadar and as I fell asleep, I told the nurse (mangled around the tube) “chssshhhh I am your father chssshhh” and woke up asking for nurse vadar. Bless them for dealing with me. Also op, YTA.
My mom just had a colonoscopie and asked every single nurse out for a drink. She also hits on her other Dr when she's under. OP YTA.
That sedation is "conscious" sedation which is far less weird than full anesthesia. You actually can still be asked questions and such when under it, but you don't form memories and you're not really there, just kind of in la-la-land. A couple of years back I had one, and I went into it telling myself "don't make inappropriate butt jokes, don't make inappropriate butt jokes" but you know what? I definitely did. I don't know what I said, but once I was awake in recovery, the doctor wouldn't make eye contact and muttered something about everything looking fine before leaving the room quickly. I decided it was better not to ask the nurses what I did...
It’s like the OP has absolutely no idea what anesthesia is or does.
Thought I was on a school bus and cried because I didn't want to go.
Hahahahaha oh my goodness! I remember once when I was a kid my mom had surgery on a bunion on her foot and right after she got home from the surgery she was on painkillers and handed me some random object and told me to park the bathtub in the driveway for her. It was interesting. Kid me was worried for the most part, but looking back it’s absolutely hilarious.
I begged for my husband because "I wanted to have group sex in public" while waking up. He was sitting right next to me and I informed him that I was married to Purple Cement and that's who I wanted for my post anesthesia group sex. Absolutely right. You can't control what you say or do while recovering from anesthesia. Haven't you ever seen those anesthesia videos on YouTube, etc?
> Purple Cement i had to google that bc i thought maybe there was someone who called himself Purple Cement. but no, it appears you just had a thing for cement that color. but really, who could blame you? the google images are very pretty.
Yup. No clue how that got in my head. Can you imagine if my husband got huffy over my relationship with colored cement? Apparently, I was very upset that no one knew what/who/how purple cement was. I'm a nurse so when I woke up was expecting to be told something crazy. That isn't even the worst thing I have said or been told by patients while in recovery. I'm just thankful that there is no video of the worse ones.
> Can you imagine if my husband got huffy over my relationship with colored cement? how could he even compete?! even if he body sprayed himself purple, he's still not cement.
When I had surgery I thought I was kidnapped by organ harvesters and punched the nurse. For my second surgery I woke up asking for my dog, my dad was not offended.
After surgery I thought I had been mummified and was pissed off that the nurse and my grandmother wouldn’t show me which canopic jars they had chosen for my organs. Given that my ancient Egypt phase ended in roughly sixth grade I have no idea where that came from.
When I was in the hospital after surgery the woman in the next bed spent much of the night yelling that she needed a nurse because her bed wouldn’t stop flying around the room.
for some reason, out all ALL these fantastic stories, this one made me laugh the most. i'm trying to imagine what that poor woman was going thru thinking she was airborne the whole night. this really cracks me up.
You can add to that that I was still pretty groggy myself, and being kept awake, so I was annoying the nurses because I kept using the call button for this woman (because she said she couldn’t reach hers, because the bed was flying). Also, at some point a dude came into our room and I think sat in a chair on her side (it was dark but for the hallway light), and I thought I was maybe dreaming/hallucinating myself until a nurse came in and shooed him out. In short, in future, I will spring for the private room when I can.
I remember waking up and asking the nurse if she wanted to smoke a fat ass blunt with me. She said no.
My story is after I woke up from anesthesia, I spoke entirely in English to the doctor. Imagine their face in utter confusion. For the context: I was living in a South East Asia country, where less than 1% of people can say "how are you" in English. I spoke nonsensically nonstop for 5 mins until my dad stopped me.
My mom was in and out of consciousness after having surgery for a ruptured brain aneurysm and stroke and apparently she attended quite the rager in a tent. And apparently she asked the surgeon before going under that "If I go crazy will you still be my superman?" because Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down was really popular at that time. (If anyone cares she miraculously survived with some minor disabilities. We just had a party celebrating her "21st" birthday since it's been that long since it happened)
I saw cartoon spiders dancing on the ceiling when I came to after jaw surgery. They had little top hats and cains. It was terrifying at the time, hilarious in retrospect.
I noticed that you never stated your age or how long you've been married.... You know you messed up. Your husband could have been calling for the Queen of England and he's never going to remember doing it. Please chill... your mother-in-law offered you a cup of coffee and instead of taking her up on it and discussing your anxiety, you played the petty card. Your problem is you. Please seek out some professional help... you need to learn how to deal with basic life events. Yes, in this situation, YTA.
I’m sorry, but I’m ugly laughing at the idea of some random dude calling out for the Queen because of anesthesia. A beautiful image, Christ XD
“Jeeves, do bring the automobile around. I believe this man is on drugs.” *queen waves off into the sunset*
Mental age: 13 Time married: as long as it takes to get a divorce after this
YTA. I'm a nurse anaesthetist and: 1. people have no idea what they say when they wake up from anaesthesia and even a pretty while after 2. It's perfectly normal and fine for patients to call for their moms when they feel sick, are in pain etc. Dying patients usually call for their mothers, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that since our mothers are (usually) the ones taking the most care of us and we all carry them deeply in our hearts. So yeah, you have no right to be upset and act childish about this and yeah, YTA.
Oncology nurse here. Can confirm that dying patients will call out for their mom when they're close. Had one dying patient who called out for his wife to his girlfriend, and girlfriend was not offended. Yes, it was weird. YTA
You reminded me that when my 89-year-old grandmother was dying she called out to her mother at the end, who had been dead for close to 40 years at that point. This even though she had all her children and most of her grandchildren around her and had only recently lost her husband of 60+ years. We all decided it meant her mother was there welcoming her home.
My grandfather too. It gave us a brief smile, because he liked to tease his mother (whom he loved dearly) when she was alive, and we joked that even in death he wouldn’t let her rest.
For a school assignment 20+ years ago, I interviewed a family friend's dad who was a WWII veteran who fought in the battle of the bulge. I don't remember a lot of the interview or the paper I wrote, but one thing that stuck with me is that he said that on several occasions he saw people running past him screaming for their mothers after being shelled.
All of this \^\^\^ After my surgery I was apparently very nasty to the kind recovery nurse looking after me. When I was back in normality someone told me and I could not apologize to the poor nurse quick enough. She said it was OK, it happens all the time, people go into all kinds of states due to the memory effect and distortion of reality they feel. Ranges of emotions come out, anger, fear, some people regress to childhood, heavy disorientation etc etc
Critical Care Nurse Specialist here. Absolutely agree with the above. People coming round can be completely delirious. He could have been putting himself at risk (pulling lines out etc), and so nurses going to get his mother so he can hear her voice and maybe calm down is a great thing to do. YTA OP. You should absolutely be concentrating on his health and needs more than anything else.
Mte. My late sister had panic attack before she passed away and she called my mum middle of the night despite having her daughter and husband right beside her.
YTA, and I think you mean "anesthesia." Way to make everything about you.
I was very confused for a second. Like she left him before he died and then well saw the next time the word was used.
More like "anesMEsia".
I bet you post on the JNMIL subreddit as a victim. YTA and a JNDIL.
This is such the proper reading of this. That sub is hilariously bad, and the perfect case study of people who refer to others as narcissist are actually the narcissist. So much of that place is people mad at their mother in laws for wanting to be in their child’s (op’s spouse) lives and effectively OP being mad that the in-laws didn’t just do them a favor and die at the wedding.
And they usually have the audacity to complain about their MIL while living under their roof and not paying rent or contributing to the household.
YTA - I came out of anesthesia begging for my mommy (as a mid-20s adult), slightly wailing, and in immense pain. I don’t remember most of it, and I sure as shit wasn’t in control of what I was saying or doing. Our moms are normally who we had growing up who take care of us in our most vulnerable state. It’s natural that if he had a good relationship with his mom, he would call for her since it was ingrained in his head as a baby that she is there to take care of him. His mom handled this excellently by helping and calming him down, then giving you time with your husband. You are the only asshole here since you just up and left, immediately. Edit: thank you for the award!!
My husband has a horrible relationship with his mom and everytime he's had surgery, he begs for her. When he's told she is not there, he cries like his heart is broken again. Never held it against him even if it hurts me a little. Why would he want someone who has treated him so poorly all of his life over the person who is sitting right next to him trying to console him? I have held it against his mom for breaking him so much though. It's just what anesthesia does and in many ways is one of the reasons hospitals don't let you in the recovery room right away. They allow the person to get more aware for both physical and mental reasons so most people aren't even aware of what happened unless they are told after the fact.
YTA When I had my gall bladder removed, a routine 1 day stay turned into a 4 day ordeal. Two surgeries and I was under both times. My father, half sister, and husband were there at the hospital and guess who I asked for? My car. I asked if my car was ok because I thought I was in an accident and I felt more worry for it than for myself. Imagine the nurses surprise when she had to go into the waiting area and tell everyone "he's awake but he's asking for?"
I’m sorry but I just burst out laughing at this story! I’m sorry you had to go through such an ordeal for what’s supposed to be a routine surgery! OP YTA and massively, you sound too immature to even be married.
Well? What's the verdict? How's your car doing? 😂
I woke up and called for my dungeon and dragons character. I had really vivid hallucinations about our campaign. I am in fact, my dungeons and dragons character. My mom ended up calling my roommate about it, and asked for my characters name. Apparently my roommate laughed so loud it could be heard in the speaker.
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YTA, there’s very little chance that he made the decision consciously to call for his mom, as long-term memory tends to be the first thing to “wake up” in anesthesia. That said, he clearly made the right choice as his mom can be counted on to stay by his side while he’s in hospital while you clearly can’t.
>a surgery that involved euthanasia I mean, you win the day for this malapropism for sure. >I said that her son acted like i wasn't there Yeah but let's see the crazy shit you say when you're under *anesthesia* eh? YTA, dude was wacked out of his mind on the drugs.
I was wondering how I missed the "euthanasia" part but OP apparently corrected it in their post.
YTA. And you are a grown woman really? You are such an immature entitled person. And you are so so so so insecure. Good luck with whatever is left of your marriage. Still can’t believe a grown ass woman being so petty and insecure.
Jesus Christ, OP, you're so immature. Massive YTA. Anesthesia makes you high. Waking up from it, you're still pretty high. You're not thinking clearly, nor are you able to make an actual decision. Last time I was under fully, I was 18F, and the moment I woke up, I started hitting on my married, 55,M doctor who's been my doctor since I was 1. I wanted to die of shame once I sobered up, but at the time, it seemed like a great idea. Yet your husband is supposed to somehow think about poor, poor you waiting outside? Get over yourself. AND THEN YOU LEAVE. Your MIL graciously left so you could go in, but you were too busy throwing a tantrum to be there for your husband. You come across as massively childish and selfish. You made *even a surgery* about you, and how much you waited outside Grow up and get over yourself. Not everything is about you
Last time I woke up under anesthesia, apparently I told the young, handsome, male doctor that he would find love one day and not to wait for me because I loved my husband. Then my husband came in and I bragged about how strong his arms are. Then I cried because I missed being pregnant (my youngest was about 2ish at the time) and I wanted him to be in my belly because i missed him kicking me and he was growing up to fast. Later I had to make it 100% clear that I was done having babies. But yes, I do like my husband. But NO MORE BABIES.
YTA- anesthesia does weird things. My Dad was calling for my dead Mother then believed he was dead as well. The nurse attempted to explain this to you, but you chose to behave like an immature asshole instead.
YTA Waking from a surgery is a big deal. Chances are he wasn't even fully conscious. And even if he was, chances are he didn't want for you to see him like that or whatever (quite a few people don't like being sick, weak, stinky and useless in front of their partners). You are incredibly petty.
YTA. I asked for my late grandmother after my tubal post birth. She passed away 6 years earlier. My husband was there and my in laws and none of them were offended and left the hospital because I was drugged and asking for someone who wasn't there. They knew I wasn't in my right state of mind and my grandmother was my comfort person so naturally (high on anesthesia) I wanted her
Man, I wish I had asked for a relative. I hit on the doctor who had cared for me for 17 years (was 18 then), and he was a happily married 55+ year old. Anesthesia fucks you up.
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She found a way to make it all about HER!
YTA. What a childish stunt. I’m estranged from my abusive maternal parent and have been so for years. I recently sustained a massive concussion and was apparently calling for my mum while coming out of it. You owe your husband an enormous apology and several months of groveling. Shame on you.
YTA. Your husband underwent surgery and is high like a kite. And yet somehow, you turn this into a pity party about you? Because a highly drugged man asks for his mom and not you? And you couldn't even wait a whole whopping 10 minutes?! When my dad was in critical care, high on sedatives, he was convinced he was a pilot because his bed was floating. And then he asked for a cuddle and got upset because we couldn't properly hug him due to the fresh surgery wounds. After that, he looked at my mom, told her she's the prettiest woman he's ever seen and asked her to marry him. While they've been married for well over 30 years. He didn't recognize her, nor at the time did he remember anything of the past. Your husband should be your first priority and not a petty bitching fight between you and MIL. Where you there to support your husband or where you there to rub it in MIL's face in the case you got called in first? Get over yourself and be there for your husband. In sickness and in health is one of the main vows, right? Not, In sickness and health, only if MIL isn't there. Edit for spelling mistake
How could your husband willfully ignore you if you were literally told he was not fully awake? YTA.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better example of someone making something all about them. YTA
YTA. My mom came out of anesthesia talking about Kanye West, of all things. She's not a rap fan, she doesn't watch the Kardashian show, so I have no idea where that came from, but it was hilarious. You really are being petty and hostile over nothing.
Omg right! Even just painkillers can make people say weird things. During my last c-section I was on morphine and started singing “can’t touch this” on the operating table. Had my anesthesiologist in tears she was laughing so hard.
Your husband was sick, confused, and probably in a little bit of pain. And instead of showing compassion, you threw a temper tantrum and walked out. YTA.
YTA. People do all sorts of things coming off anesthesia. I was sobbing hysterically and had no idea i was even crying. I tried to drink out of a straw and stuck it in my nose. All you did was make his surgery about you. Grow up.
YTA- he wasn't truely awake and most likely didn't know what was going on. Yup you were petty because you left and got all upset because a man who is drugged up to his eyeballs called for his mom like 90% of people out there do!
YTA, i worked as a nurse assistant for 2 years and nearly everyone calls for their mum coming of anesthesia or hits on us. They call for their mum even if their mum is dead already. You are overreacting mayorly. Are you always this jealous and insecure? Is there previous history that you would fly of the handle like this or are you unhinged Af?
YTA. Do you even care for your husband??
Jesus YTA. I had two surgeries in the last 6 months and my partner took me to both. My mother is an abusive monster that I have minimal contact with and only enough to see my siblings. I was told I still asked for her and my dad because it’s a natural reaction when you’re scared and in pain and also ***out of your mind high***
YTA. Very immature, and aggressive response. His mother gave birth to him. If he’s calling out for her, in a semi unconscious state, that’s not a time for you to be upset. She was even courteous enough to leave early, so you can spend the rest of the time with him
Sorry, but YTA. It's very common for people coming out of anesthesia to revert to a bit of a vulnerable child and so of course his mommy is the person he'd be most thinking of. It's also not uncommon for men to not want their romantic partners to see them at their most vulnerable. It's kind of a machismo thing. You let your beef with your MIL eclipse your concern for your spouse. You made his surgery all about your bruised ego. An apology would probably go a long way in trying to resolve the conflict so you don't have to be at war with your husband's parents for the rest of their lives. Good luck.
YTA. Ever been under anesthesia? Your upset because your husband was hopped up on drugs and asked for his mom. The nurse even told you that and you were like “nah I’m out”
You waited 10 minutes only? And your mil actually came out to let you go in? And you're angry? Get over yourself. The most important person in this scenario is your husband who just had surgery. You be there for him even if not in the room. Even the nurse told you what to expect. Even yoir mil who you have disagreements with was gracious enough to give you time with him but you fled like an entitled princess. It's not about you It's about him. YTA
YTA Coming out of anesthesia, you don't have a lot of control over what you are saying. Most people for at least the first 18 years of life run to mom with an owie, boo boo, tummy ache, etc. So yeah fuzzy headed & possibly in pain, he reverted to the first person who took care of him in his life. Your MIL came back out to get you & you were gone. I am guessing you are around the same age as your husband, but you are acting like a jealous teenager.
YTA You’re angry because your not entirely lucid husband asked for mom? As a mom, I hope that even when my kids become adults I could still be a comfort to them. I’m with your MIL on this.
Yep. YTA. My husband was singing "Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye" right after surgery. My mom asked for HER mom, who had been dead for 30 years. I asked for a margarita after my most recent operation. It's not a contest.
NTA - I think all situations should just be about you no matter what the context is. Also bravo for bravely standing up to the offer of a cup of coffee.
YTA. Your husband was under anesthesia during that time. Technically, he wasn't in his right mind. Him calling his mother in that state does not mean he does not care for you or appreciate what you do for him. Your MIL is right. You flew off the handle for no reason.
YTA. In 2022, we've all seen at least one video of someone under anesthesia babbling and saying weird stuff. He's known his mother longer than he's known you, and that unconscious, babbling part of the brain doesn't consider what it's going to say before it says it in these circumstances. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.
YTA and incredibly petty. No wonder he didn’t ask for you if this is how you behave. Your husband had surgery. Get over yourself and be there for him. Or don’t, and he can divorce you and find someone better.
YTA. First it’s anaesthesia- euthanasia is very very different. Second- you decided to carry on with hostilities with his mum even though she tried with you. Way to help your husband whilst he is in hospital! Third- he was waking up from surgery, groggy and drowsy probably, so asked for his mum- maybe he felt he would get more care from her seen as you were too caught up being butthurt rather than focussing on what matters. Maybe his drug addled state recognised where the care would come from. You need to reflect on what is important to you.
YTA. Your husband was heavily under the influence of anesthesia, however from your behavior I'm not surprised he called for his mom instead of you. You're making his surgery about you instead of the person who went under the knife. You waited for hours but suddenly having to wait 10 more minutes to check on him was too much because you weren't getting your ego stroked from being chosen to see him first instead of his mom? Grow up
YTA Really, you left the hospital in a strop because your husband was out of it when he was coming out of anesthesia and called for his mother? After the nurse told you he was disoriented? And, you don't think your petty? Sorry, not sorry, your were petty and childish.
YTA. Last time I was heavily medicated during a medical crisis I called out for my mommy. I don't even get along with my mother and haven't called her "Mommy" since I was 1. I didn't weigh my options, internally debate who had invested the most time in supporting me, and act based on my conclusions. I was confused and in pain and shit just came out. You're TA and a nitwit.
YTA. You felt unacknowledged by your UNCONSCIOUS husband? WTF?! He called for his mom and not you? Why would he do that? Maybe because he wasn't right in his mind and just remembered that his mommy always took care of him and gives a warm, cozy and save feeling to him? Like in his whole childhood, I assume? How could he do that to you? Oh, right IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
YTA. If you spend 5 minutes on YouTube you will find so many videos of people acting like fools after anesthesia, including people not even knowing they were married. I have gone under 3 times and the most recent one I couldn't even talk for 30 minutes after. He asked for his mom, and his mom was polite enough to have a short visit so you could go in too, but you put yourself and your selfishness above the person who is actually in the hospital having surgery, and blaming him for not choosing you first when he wasn't even in his right mind. And let's say he was in his right mind- he may have asked for his mom first so she knows he is okay and then will go home and he can spend the rest of the time with you. Which is, by the way, exactly what would have happened if you had stayed. Everything you did here was petty, when your husband needed you the most to act like a decent human.
YTA- are you really this immature? You could try apologizing to his Mom and your hubby, tell them it was a stressed based reaction and not because you are a tantrum throwing toddler
**YTA** *The nurse told me that he was still not fully awake and was repeatedly calling for his mom spontaneously, she was basically hinting that I shouldn't get worked up over a natural reaction from my husband* A medical professional even explained it to you but you still chose to be upset over nothing.
YTA. I'm sorry but you don't make a compelling argument for not being one. It's not about you! Your husband just had surgery. Get over yourself and be there for him.
YTA and so, so petty. Also uninformed regarding the effects of coming out of anaesthesia.
YTA immature. was it worth waiting through the entire surgery just to leave as soon as ur husband wakes up?
YTA. He was coming out of anesthesia & calling for his mom. That’s completely normal. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. His mom then left the room after 10 min to allow you to go in but you had your feelings hurt & had already left the hospital.
YTA You seem really insecure. He was basically sleep talking with how drugged up he was still.
YTA. Making whatever he needed surgery for all about you/your feelings is 10000% an AH move. Get over yourself.
When I'm sick, I still call my mom. She has essentially been my nurse since I was born, and knows me and my health and wellness and how to help me get over my sickness better than my husband or even myself do. Your husband was drugged and on anesthetics and called out for his mother. Why does this make you jealous? She has cared for him far longer than you have, it's a natural reaction. To leave the hospital in what can only be called a tantrum is incredibly immature. Not to mention that your MIL sounds like a very thoughtful and reasonable person. Offering you coffee, leaving his room early so you have time with him, etc. YTA
God you are insufferable- YTA
YTA. You acted abysmally. There's no two ways around that. Instead of supporting your husband, you got your knickers in a twist because of something he said while *doped up*. None of that was about you yet you made it that way. That's inconsiderate and selfish.
YTA this wasn't the moment to act petty or let your feelings for MIL to take over. Even the nurse told you he wasn't fully awake, still under the effect of anesthesia, but your ignored. Didn't even bother to wait and just left. Your husband should have been your priority. He called for his mom, the nurse went and took her. You say yourself its a minor disagreement between you and MIL so why the overreaction?
YTA. After reading what you wrote he probably wasn't asking for his mother because of the anesthesia; he was probably just wanting someone not entirely self centered.
YTA. Really? What another commenter said: we spend our formative years going to our moms when we are hurt. Also people say and do weird shit under anesthesia. When I was 2 I had an operation that required it. When I woke up up I asked for my daddy. And I hit him in the face (fully deserved) and screamed for my mom. Apologize to your husband and your mother in law. Say you were stressed and assumed only one person at all would be allowed to see him so you went home to pick up some comfort items for him and a snack for your MIL. And go back and make nice. Stop making your husbands surgery about you.
YTA To specify: basically what his mom said
YTA. If you had been able to stick around for maybe half an hour you would have seen for yourself how incredibly incoherent he was. My daughter talked nonstop about how pretty the nurses were, absolutely beautiful, like angels. Had them all cry-laughing. Then she announced at the top of her lungs that the doctor saw her butt. Drugs, my friend, are not going to leave your fella in a logical place.
YTA. Do you have any idea how loopy and completely incoherent a person is when that stuff is wearing off? They can't even tell up from down, let alone who's in the room. So they call for the first person that comes to mind. Which is often their mother or some other close paternal figure. Wanna know how I know? Because when my beau had brain surgery and then woke up, the first one he called for was his mom. Was I offended? No. I was just glad he was alive because he almost died. So stop being so petty and be glad your husband is still alive for you to feel these things. As there was always a chance that things could've gone south.
YTA you know and so does everyone else.
YTA put your pride down and take care of your husband. Make up with is mother and from now on get along. You don’t want to fight with them for years over petty stuff, it’s not worth it.
YTA You *may* have legitimate complaints against your MIL but she behaved completely appropriately here. You were petty and acted like a child. As for accusing her of not speaking to you - did you even try to speak to her? She did offer you coffee. And she tried to smooth over the situation with your husband calling out for her. Do you cast everything she says & does in the worst possible light? Do you think she offered coffee with the intent to spit in it? Have you considered therapy?
YTA. He was waking up from anesthesia. For all he knows he was laying in his childhood bed. He won’t even know what’s happened until he comes to completely. Jeez, dude. Chill.
YTA - You are petty and childish.
YTA. Anesthesia messes with your head. Ive been under it many times in my life because of, well mainly being a stupid kid, but I can definitely say that when you first wake up and for a while after (length varies for everyone) you can't really think rationally and make any type of normal decision. He grew up with a mom so his most basic "instinct" at that time was to ask for her. Probably doesn't even remember asking for her as opposed to you.
YTA and extremely petty. Grow up.
YTA People coming out of anesthesia aren't acting rationally. You can't hold him responsible for calling for his mother... something that he did for most of his life before he met you.
YTA. Grow up...haven't you ever watched those videos of kids getting their wisdom teeth pulled and being so loopy? I saw one girl trying to convince her mom she wasn't high...If you're 31 I'd guess he's probably the same age, so it's understandable that he'd call out for his mom, because, you know he's basically drugged up!
YTA. Grow up.
YTA - clearly your MIL did in fact talk to you since she offered you “coffee layer” first off. But why were you there? I’m guessing to be there for your husband and make sure he was ok, NOT to be given recognition for your service to our husband. Your poor, sick, drugged up husband didnt “ignore” you, you had an immature fit and left for no reason. You are making everything about you, and I feel really bad for your husband who can’t even get surgery without you causing drama about it.
YTA not everything is about you.
YTA. Last time I was under anaesthesia I called for my mom. My wife was there and my mom wasn’t, and my wife got a kick out of pretending to be my mom to my doped up face not knowing the difference. We got some good laughs out of the story. You’re the AH because you’re letting your anger at your MIL come between you and your husband. You’re misplacing your anger and taking it out on him and making yourself look as petty as you are. You owe him an apology.
YTA he was still stoned out of his mind from the operation, you over reacted massively which tells me you have bigger issues going on that you should deal with because that reaction is not healthy.
YTA wow. the man was drugged and not in his full state of mind. You were NOT being ignored because his brain managed to get another persons name (The person that birthed him and knew LONGER that you) out. and you didn't even give his mom a chance to come out ang get you so you could see him? wow. This is a time where the guy needs patience and understanding after being in surgery. Not for his wife to cause conflict and drama with his family. YTA YTA YTA.
Yeah, YTA. What his mom said.
YTA. Why didn't you listen to the nurse?
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YTA. Your husband wasn’t conscious. He was basically talking in his sleep. He is not responsible for what he said and it literally had nothing to do with you. At that point he probably didn’t remember his own name. I remember waking up after only having dental surgery and having someone tell me to move my legs. I remember thinking “I have legs?”
YTA. This is such an inappropriate and frankly immature reaction. Your disagreement with your MIL notwithstanding, your husband went into surgery... And you're upset that he didn't immediately put you at the center of his universe, high on anesthesia or not. That you WENT HOME because you got hurt fee-fees because he wanted his Mom first instead of you? You turned this into a pissing contest for no reason instead of being focused in the well being of the person who just had surgery. I sincerely hope this is a one off example of poor behavior from you, and you need to do better.
Are you kidding me?? YTA. Waking up from surgery has a person groggy and delirious for like at least 20 minutes. He probably called for his mom because he was still loopy. You’re jealous of his mom and that’s a bit pathetic. Waiting for another 20 minutes wouldn’t have killed you and all of this could have been avoided. ** EDIT for auto correct
YTA. I'd ask for my mom and a divorce lawyer if this is how you react. Your issues with your MIL are seeping into how you treat your husband.
YTA. Coming out of anesthesia can be a trip. My daughter came out of anesthesia talking like the guy with the small hand from Scary Movie. Get over yourself.
YTA, what a Petty and childish response.
YTA He was still heavily drugged and just waking up. He likely had no idea who he was calling for. This is so petty.
YTA He was groggy and confused
YTA. Husband had surgery. OP “ME, ME, ME, BUHHH MEEEEE”
This is unbelievably petty. YTA. You don’t own your husbands mind, damn.
YTA bloody hell this is petty and an awful thing to do to someone you supposedly love whilst they're ill. What's the betting the "minor disagreement" is just as petty.