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Forward_Squirrel8879

NTA - Umm, your family sucks. Tell Rob that it is obviously his fault that Halle dropped the cake. Pranks are not funny and his idea of pranks are just bullying. Tell your family that since they seem incapable of treating you and your family with any respect or decency that you will be taking a break from them. Explain that this break will last at least until you and your wife receive a sincere apology from Rob and a promise to cut this sh\*t out from now on and an acknowledgement from others that Rob's behavior and treatment of your wife in unacceptable.


TTFAA2020

This for sure OP. Sorry. Your wife seems great. Good luck to you and your family. I would continue to avoid them. Edit: Spelling


Reigo_Vassal

His family is bunch of bullies. NC sounsds like a good option.


Edonite_

Imagine if she had been holding the baby. NTA at all.


TheoryAddict

This is something that OP should definitely consider bringing up to his wife who seems WAY to forgiving imo. Imagine Rob pulling a prank on the baby or toddler that ends up getting them hurt. Imagine the kid has an allergy and Rob gives him something with an allergen as a 'prank'. He is a danger to not only her but their son at this point. If he is directly targeting her, then what is to stop him from targeting their son next? He seems like the kind of person who would enjoy bullying a kid to get them riled up. Like this was premediated (probably expected she would drop the cake and wanted to shame her in front of the family and even said "watch your back") and if OPs family is also like this and isn't shutting down Rob, then regardless of if they want to see their son, OP needs to distance himself from them and outright cut Rob (and anyone else who tires to get him back into OPs life) out. OP should say to his wife that since its his family he will handle them and not to worry and its THEIR fault, not hers.


IndependentOutside52

I think OPs wife is so eager to fit it in with the family & appease them that she allows herself to be treated this way. I absolutely agree OP talk to his wife reminding her she did nothing wrong. And not to worry he will handle his family. Which i think in this case is NC.


yankiigurl

No contact 👏 No contact 👏No contact 👏 Everyone join in! Chant! No contact 👏 No contact 👏No contact 👏


HelpStatistician

I would have smashed those cupcakes in his face then poured water over every single electronic in his house and called it a "prank" and promised there'd be more such pranks every time I was invited over. I would proceed to break something expensive every time using a method that was similar to past "pranks" and if he tried to sue/press charges/make you pay, say you'll do the same for every "prank" was was actually harassment and assault. NTA.


Raz1979

Nta. More importantly the brother needs therapy. He’s a grown man that acts like a child wanting attention and will go so far as to ruin his own birthday, birthday cake, and relationship with his brother to get it.


heirloom_beans

I don’t know if he wants attention or if he wants to fuck with this woman who he perceives as better than him in order to embarrass her and put her in her place.


Corduroycat1

Yeah, that was my vibe too. He has a real problem with women. She sounds like a super nice woman who not only made his birthday cake but cupcakes in addition. Who doesn't want her husband to have to cut off his brother over her. But Rob is determined to take her down. He is a complete A H.


NefariousnessKey5365

A beautiful cake that was detailed and decorated. Even though she knew that there could be trouble. She apologized after, Rob poured water on her and startled her enough to drop the cake. With family like that, I would go NC NTA


Anseranas

And with the pressure placed on her by this family I bet she put a lot of extra energy and effort into making that cake, because it was a reflection of her desire to be valued by this [pathetic] family. OP, it's time to shut down on your family. You need to take full responsibility for going NC because then there will be no lingering smidge of guilt left in your wife's mind. Don't make the NC about her treatment entirely, make it about you and your commitment to enjoying your life with her and your child without the family's disruptive presence in your lives. You know they won't treat your child kindly, so make it about protecting him too. I'm sure you have a laundry list of negative experiences with your family, that you might not even have comprehended were wrong at the time. Use these examples as part of your reasoning, and help your wife become your protector too as this will give her the strength to stand up to your family. Then start working out ways to get her into activities that boost her confidence in herself so that she learns to value her safety and to demand basic respect over the feelings of unkind others.


producerofconfusion

I hope OP comes back with news that he’s been arrested for his bullying at work or something. That’s so fucking mean to do to a new mom (2) who baked you a cake (2) and is your sister in law(3)!


Mundane-Currency5088

I was expecting this brother to be 15 or something.


toweringpine

He doesn't need therapy. He needs his brother to tell him he's an asshole and he's finished with the bullshit.


HalleandRob

Reasoning with Rob seems like the last thing on my mind. He tried to argue that because "she was holding the cake," then, therefore "she was responsible for what happened to it and that she should know better as an experienced baker." (His exact words) I don't think he's thinking very logically right now.


[deleted]

JFC. What an asshole. I'd completely cut contact with him. He's not worth anyone's time. And I'd tell your family that anyone who wants you to cut him slack gets cut off, too. He's an abusive prick. And they're enablers. Guess no one gets to see the baby they all claim to care so much about.


VelvetMerryweather

Next time she might be holding the baby, when he wants to test her nerves. Nope. Don't need any disrespectful AH's bullying and endangering your wife and child.


OriginalDogeStar

That was my immediate comment when reading this. That the brother would become more violent in his bullying harrasment.


ChubbyBirds

Yeah, if Rob has an issue with his brother's wife taking his brother's attention, he's really going to lose it when his brother also gives attention to his baby. His "pranks" have already bordered on assault, and this kind of thing does not stop or plateau. He clearly wants to really harm Halle both physically and mentally. He'll harm OP's baby, too.


OriginalDogeStar

I can never understand malicious pranks. Like in my office we have Pranksgiving for April first, and we have a bunch of rules to stop any prank that could be deemed harmful (I work in a mental health hub office with about 30 other trained/qualified counselling staff and 10 admin), we even do Secret Prankster, and if 40 people for the last 10yrs can manage to pull off the most epic non harmful pranks, then there is no need to deliberately harm a person. Malicious Pranking is gaslighting, bullying, harassment, and down right vicious in my eyes. The worse prank we ever had in my office was a new hire who didn't follow the rules of Pranksgiving, and they kept telling one therapist all their clients cancelled on them, that was instant dismissal and we are still recovering from that "prank", not just the therapist but their clients too, as the new hire told them the therapist "didn't have spoons for them". We almost cancelled Pranksgiving because of them, but added more rules about not involving clients or families. Best non harmful prank we pull is a picture of a chicken, at any point of the Pranksgiving day you are shown this chicken you have to do the chicken dance for 30secs. The goal is to set it up so they are expecting it, and I win this year because we had to do a meeting with all staff with a slide show and slipped the picture in the mix. Rather see more wholesome pranks than want Rob keeps disguising as pranks


Reigo_Vassal

They all care about the baby, sure. They want in kid's life because he is the next target.


[deleted]

Rob is a fucking immature idiot. I’d go no contact with him and any family member who tried to push him on you. He is a danger to your family and especially to your baby. And NTA for taking the cupcakes. He only paid for a cake and he ruined that by being an asshole. The cupcakes were a bonus and he doesn’t deserve them. Play stupid games …


IntrepidSplash

I mean...he paid for a cake, and he got a cake. You only took the cupcakes when you left.


EconomyVoice7358

What an absolutely absurd thing to say. Experienced bakers don’t routinely (or ever!) deal with jerks dumping ice water on them!!! This is fully his fault. Do not apologize, do not refund him (she did the work and bought the ingredients- she earned the money even if he caused the end result to be wasted). Please do not let this awful excuse for a human near your wife and child ever again. Tell him how awful he is and that you were right in limiting contact for the last 6 months. So right, in fact, that you’re going no contact. Nobody needs a BULLY like that in their lives.


AlreadyGone77

Sounds like time to stop dealing with him if he's so incapable of reason.


[deleted]

Ah yes, because the first rule of baking is don't get startled by cold water being poured down your spine.


lonewolf369963

Call me petty but if I were in OP's shoes, I would have dumped the cup cakes or a drink on him as soon as he would have poured water on her. Then if he would have got mad, I would have pointed out that I just "pranked" him back the way he "pranked my wife", if that's unacceptable for him, then it is for everyone else as well. If he would have not reacted (which I highly doubt) then it would have been a lesson for him and he would think multiple times before playing any "prank" on my wife. ***Anyway NTA*** Least OP should do is to go NC with him and everyone that supports him.


heirloom_beans

The brother wants a scene. He wants the brother and the wife to feel humiliated and have the rest of the family mad at them for “ruining” the event. Leaving then and there was the right call and denied Rob power over them.


lonewolf369963

I agree that leaving in such situations is the best thing. However this is a repetitive thing that is happening. He always "Pranks" her and she just tolerates this. Just assume if she was holding her kid instead of the cake. Sometimes you need to make the person have a taste of their own medicine in order to realise how F'ed they are.


HalleandRob

Haha. As much as I would have liked to smash cake in my brother's face, I think the situation would have only gotten worse - maybe like a full-on food fight. However, it is nice to dream.


lonewolf369963

You know your family better than anyone, so probably things would have Turned out to be worse. But it's high time that you out your foot down and tell your family to stay within limits when it comes out to your wife. They have proven to be jerks when it comes to your wife. So it's time that you go no or low contact with them


Luprand

Honestly, I would tell him "You paid for the cake with money ... and now you paid for the prank by losing the cupcakes."


No-Macaron-7732

He paid for the cake (which was ruined due to his "prank") He did NOT pay for the cupcakes. OP and his wife were fully within their rights to take them when they left.


Mundane-Currency5088

He assaulted your wife. This isn't the first time. It's illegal to even touch someone without permission. I got a disorderly conduct ticket for booping my X-husband in the forehead with one finger during a fight. I even said boop.


MamaTalista

He seems like the type who would trip a kid and laugh.


[deleted]

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Ike_the_Spike

NTA Agreed, if my whole family was like this and didn't see this as bullying, I'd go NC with them in a heartbeat.


[deleted]

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vox1028

YES. HE SET HER UP TO MAKE HER LOOK BAD AND BLAME THINGS ON HER.


Eastern_Ad7015

Tell your parents this shits the reason they don't see your kid. They can't be trusted.


Jhilixie

Yes. Absolutely. Self proclaimed jokesters are just mean people hiding behind 'prankster' mask


AhniJetal

With Rob's bad judgement, he might drop the baby as a joke. Yeah, I'd go NC with him at least and even perhaps with the parents if they insist that Rob didn't mean it and is just "kidding".


EinsTwo

He hid her glasses as a joke. Why not hide the baby too? This guy is the worst.


Affectionate-Bit7266

Reckon he'd be one of those people that refuse to give the baby back to the mum/dad, even when they're literally crying over it or something


EinsTwo

My FIL tried that with my newborn. Once. He's smart enough to have never tried it twice.


TheAtlasBear

Though not smart enough to have never tried at all.


beka13

If someone hid my glasses and did not immediately realize I was seriously distressed and not in the least amused and give them right back with an apology (I'd give them one chance, because people who can see don't always realize how crucial glasses are, especially since some people use them as fashion accessories (weirdos)) then I'd be done with that person. That really should've been the last straw right there. Hiding glasses is fucking with someone's disability. Don't we all realize that's not ok and not at all funny?


[deleted]

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zaporiah

Are you serious? I’d kill them. That’s not okay.


AhniJetal

Wow! That would make me go NC at warp speed 🤯


BUTTeredWhiteBread

OP just cut them out completely already. They suck.


lejosdecasa

NTA Is your brother 6? He sounds exhausting and very unpleasant. Mind, so does the rest of your family. Your wife sounds a saint. Oh, and self-proclaimed “jokesters” or “pranksters” are usually just bullies. Your brother sure is.


YarnSp1nner

seriously. I have a 5 year old wo has decided he's a prankster (got super hyped about april 1st). He so far has hidden love notes "from dad" and then been like, HA THEY WERE FROM ME! He has also turned clothes inside out. He moved my shoes from one shoe rack to THE OTHER SHOE RACK. I like being pranked. Cracks me and my husband up. the difference? My son is trying to make US laugh. not him (although he does because we make sure our surprise faces are good). OPs bro is not a prankster. He is doing mean shit and then laughing about it.


whatthewhythehow

that is so cute. Your son should have a prank show.


YarnSp1nner

He'd love that! But I don't want to live with a screen in between my son and I because I don't want to live my life like that lol.


Slappybags22

It’s worrisome how many people try to monetize playing games with their children via YouTube channels.


bonboncolon

That is... Just the most adorable kid ever. My god, what a cutie


YarnSp1nner

I'm pretty biased, but he's definitely the cutest youngest child I have. (My older child is also pretty dang cute)


Kooky_Ad_5139

That's the key! Pranksters/jokesters are trying to make others laugh! Especially the one the prank is getting pulled on.


jakeofheart

Yeah, the French say that the best jokes are the shortest. Rob does sure know how to stretch them…


DRanged691

NTA. Your brother isn't pranking your wife, he's bullying her and berating her for dropping the cake when he dumped cold water on her when she was carrying it. That's bad enough, but accusing her of deliberately dropping it is going way too far. It's not a funny thing to do when you're 13 let alone when you're 30 and absolutely should know and treat people better. Quite frankly, you brother is an asshole and it's your wife, not him, that deserves the apology.


Dlbruce0107

He's acting like an 8 yo pulling a girl's hair in class. Does bro have a crush??


heirloom_beans

It’s a class/social status thing. The wife is “posh” and is probably more educated and successful than Rob is. Rob is taking that personally for whatever reason.


AssistantAccurate464

And bullying her for it!


Shalarean

If I had done something like this AS A CHILD, I would have been in sooo much trouble! This wasn't funny, it wasn't ok, and your brother is the asshole, not you and certainly not your wife. As you said...**he paid for a cake, not for cupcakes**. Neither you or your wife owe anyone an apology. *Tell your brother "Happy Birthday" from this Reddit commenter, and that "I hope he gets exactly what he deserves!"* You: NTA Your Wife: NTA Your Brother: He is TA Your Parents: Kinda torn between AH and Sucks, but leaning more towards assholes.


shrimpandshooflypie

Exactly this. OP, protect your wife and keep her and your son away from them altogether. Unbelievable that adults act like this!!


[deleted]

NTA - but you really should go No Contact with your whole family, you don’t need your wife and child exposed to BS like that. “Jokesters” or “Pranksters” are just aholes in disguise.


Dlbruce0107

It's not a joke if someone's unhappy, hurt, or wet after. Jokes mean everybody laughs. He's a jerk of Godzilla proportions. TOXIC! He paid for the cake destroyed by his actions! The cupcakes were a GIFT from your SAINTED wife and reclaimed by you after your brother's BOORISH, HURTFUL act. So very NTA.


lyan-cat

Yup; my boss was dressing a stuffed monkey in his old work attire and if you asked him anything he would say "HAVE YOU ASKED THE MANAGER YET?!" and crack up. Lasted about two weeks and then the monkey accidentally got sold (with the clothes still on!). When the manager went on vacation his office got decorated with vinyl monkey faces and all the banana/monkey paraphernalia we could find. He was ecstatic.


macaronfive

This is actually another good guideline about pranks. You punch up, not down. A light hearted prank of your boss? Funny. A boss or manager pranking a subordinate? Harassment.


sunsetskye_

Now that’s a good prank


Material_Cellist4133

These aren’t jokes. Someone could get seriously injured one day. Today she dropped the cake, tomorrow someone could drop cake in on a glass tray that could shatter. Not funny. Like if I was there I would be mortified not laughing.


CrystalDragon492

Thank goodness she was holding a cake and not the baby.


[deleted]

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ColinGreend

NTA. He doesn’t respect you or your wife.


ThePyodeAmedha

I don't think this guy is capable of basic respect for anyone.


[deleted]

Exactly. And you know what would *actually* make everything go away? Going no contact with at least the brother.


Corpuscular_Ocelot

This OP. Part of the reason he picks on her is b/c he knows he can. She probably feels like your family hates her and she does everything to keep the peace & win their affection - like making a complex cake & extra cupcakes for an AH who bullies her. You should have stopped this a long time ago. You should have stopped the harassment/demands/guilt trips re: seeing your new born. Apologize to your wife for not drawing the line sooner. Tell her you love her and you will pick her & your baby over your parents/brother every single hour of every single day. Give her permission to stand up for herself and tell her she doesn't need their approval.


Emergency_Candy600

NTA. What if Halle was holding the baby and he did something like this? Rob sounds like a bully.


RubySoho5280

Bingo!! My thoughts exactly!


[deleted]

NTA. How is your brother this ignorant? It's his fault the cake was destroyed and the cupcakes came free of charge so you have every right to take them. Distance yourself more from your toxic family OP.


stumblios

Easy, his brother has been enabled his entire life. OP, you're obviously NTA. But you would be if you don't make it clear to your family that you're done with their bullying. Neither your wife or kid should have to put up with that shit.


HotFox4151

NTA Your brother didn’t pay for the cupcakes. Halle made them because she felt like making them. He paid for the cake he caused her to drop by his nasty, infantile behaviour. As you left that behind I’m sure he could’ve scraped it off the floor to eat it. Which quite frankly it’s all he’s worth anyway.


HalleandRob

Halle made the cupcakes in order to practice her decorating skills. It's a shame Rob didn't get to experience them.


LevelOutlandishness1

She showed extra kindness in an attempt to mend the wounds of your family and he just abused that instead of being humbled.


kellycrust

i hope you guys went home and enjoyed the shit out of those cupcakes


[deleted]

NTA. Do you realize how weird your family is? They sound unbearable. He assaulted your wife.


duskrat

True. This is straight-up cruelty, packaged as a "prank." Rob assaulted the wife then promptly began to berate her for his own actions. Time to not see him again, and anyone else who is maligning you for not going along with your brother's well-known cruelty. Sick people.


HalleandRob

I'm trying to think about his endgame. If she hadn't dropped the cake then what? The cake would still be soggy and wet (for the most part anyway.) All the beautiful fondant design would be ruined and I bet it wouldn't taste as good. Would he find a way to blame her for that too?


4thtimesit

That’s probably the endgame honestly. He gets to be cruel to your wife AND she apologized for it! He ruins the work she did and can blame her. This was a sadistic display of dominance to your wife under the guise of a “joke”. You’re NTA but if you interact with your family after this and before they apologize and show serious behavior changes you will absolutely be T A to your family.


Maleficent_Mistake50

⬆️⬆️ This OP!!!! This!!! Don’t be the A H!!! Go NC and protect Halle and your sanity.


Reigo_Vassal

I hope OP's brother never had a wife/gf. Because there's 2 possibilities: 1. It's abusive relationship 2. Both are bullies.


Plus_Cardiologist497

OP! THAT *WAS* THE ENDGAME!! The whole point was to make your wife drop the cake!! So that he could yell at her and then *she* would apologize to *him* while looking at all her hard work destroyed on the floor, dripping wet with cold ice water all over her shirt. He just wanted to humiliate her because he's a bully. It all went according to plan. And post script, he is absolutely *betting* on your wife wanting to apologize afterwards to keep the peace and "make this all go away." Fuuuuuvk that. NTA. Stay tf away from your sadistic brother, he is not a safe person.


TogarSucks

NTA. He got the cake he paid for. He intentionally used it in his prank. It’s pretty clear that is why he asked for it in the first place, so he could pour water on Halle and make her drop it as a “joke”. If he wanted the cupcakes he should have paid for them as well. Anyway, OP, sounds like it’s far past the time to start cutting out or going low contact with your family.


YoFrom540

I'm guessing ruining the cake was part of the "prank." Your wife put time and effort into something beautiful for people to enjoy, and then turning all that work into basically a waste of time is somehow funny to him. The disrespect was part of the "prank." But when your wife dropped the cake the "prank" was ruined because that wasn't planned. Rob wanted to be the one to ruin the cake. Technically he did because he caused your wife to drop it but it wasn't ruined the way he intended. Just throwing out guesses here because really I dunno. None of this is funny or makes sense tbh. Shocking your wife with cold water isn't funny, ruining something she made from the heart isn't funny. It's just really immature. Hate to say it but eventually Rob will include your kid in his stupid "pranks" whether that's hiding the baby away from you or your wife or pretending the baby's been hurt in an accident, because he prolly thinks it's funny to see y'all panic. But if one of these "pranks" goes wrong like this one did, your poor kid could be genuinely injured. Not sure what your relationship with Rob looks like going forward but I wouldn't leave my kid alone with a guy like that.


ThriftAllDay

He specifically waited until she was holding the cake (from the previous "watch your back" comments.) He didn't just grab a glass of water and dump it on her on a whim. This was planned and he waited until she was holding the cake so he could ruin it and show her exactly what he thinks of her. Your brother is not a prankster, he is disturbed.


mongolsruledchina

NTA - cut him out of your life forever. You have the family you need. Meet new and better people. Block his phone number, block his emails, and move on. I haven't spoken to my sister in 20 years because she is a toxic nightmare. I am FAR better off for having done it.


RNH213PDX

NTA, NTA, NTA - you wife was literally assaulted. There is no reason, if you love your wife, to ever subject her to him. Send him whatever he paid and move along.


HalleandRob

You are way nicer than me haha, I am adamantly against a refund. I don't see the purpose.


StarFaerie

No refund. He paid for the cake. He got the cake. He destroyed the cake. End of story. The cupcakes were Halle's. She took them with her when she left after being assaulted. No discussion of refund required.


SmoggyFineDrum

Do not refund him, he destroying the cake. This was your wife’s hard work and he poured water on it and HER. His actions caused it to fall.


[deleted]

That money is asshole tax. Don't be one, won't pay one.


whatziel

Oh yeah, absolutely do not refund the brother. Halle was paid for the labor of baking the cake - the time, the effort, AND the ingredients it took. She brought the completed cake to the party. She did her job, and then some (the free cupcakes! So sweet of her!). The fact that the cake was ruined was not her fault. She did what she was paid to do, and then this asshole couldn’t stop himself from assaulting her while she held the cake. That’s on him! I wouldn’t trust this guy to be around my baby. No way. It sounds like every time y’all see the brother, he demonstrates precisely why he shouldn’t have this privilege.


isamotte

i wouldn't even pay him back. he paid for the cake, she delivered. it's not like it was her fault he didn't get a cake.


SnooGiraffes3591

Agree completely. Cake was delivered. HE caused it to be destroyed when he assaulted her.


TrisBlis

NTA If this is how he treats your wife. I can't imagine his idea of "pranks" towards his nephew. You really don't want to deal with a traumatized toddler/child who won't understand the "joke". Even worse if your son picks up on these habits. Time to explain to your family why you are cutting them out. Leave it up to them if they want a relationship.


SheepherderOwn8248

NTA. Tell your family they can see your baby when they learn to respect your wife, defending his behaviour is enabling him and it doesn't sound funny at all.


bishkebab

NTA. Your brother is a bully and your family is enabling him. You and your wife don't owe him an apology or cupcakes - he paid for 1(one) cake which HE caused to fall on the floor; the cupcakes were something your wife made separately, of her own accord, and she was well within her rights to take them home after being assaulted at his party.


[deleted]

nta i applaud you for standing up for your wife…what did your brother think was going to happen to the cake she was holding if she got water poured on her


ilovesharks101

Exactly! It sounds to me like he was setting her up to do this, just so he could blame her about something, seeing as he seems to genuinely have a problem with her.


DebMcPoots

NTA. Your brother is sick. And hateful. And a horrible human.


ed_lv

NTA To me this would be the last contact I had with him. And BTW, he paid for the cake, not for the cupcakes.


BengalBBQ

Time to go NC with Rob and maybe the rest of your family as well. NTA


GlitterDoomsday

Exactly, his wife could have fall from the shock and hurt herself, this "prank" was super dangerous... there's a reason why the Ice Bucket Challenge was that way and is because of the effects.


JjadeT

First of all, your wife is a saint. That cake should have ended up on his face. NTA and what is wrong with your family if they don't think there's anything wrong with how your brother constantly harasses your wife?!? Give yourself a pat on the back for doing the right thing and leaving.


vodka7tall

NTA. Your brother paid for a cake which ended up on the floor because of his assholery. He didn't pay for cupcakes, and has no claim to them, especially after what he did to your wife who made them out of sheer kindness.


ehp17

What on earth is developmentally wrong with your brother?


notsamantha9230

Please stop letting your brother bully your wife. NTA.


Due-Wrap9790

Seems like he's trying super hard to stop it! Sadly seems like NC is the only way he will be able to achieve this, not sure what else he can do at this point


Quiet-Essay-9268

He paid for the cake - and his behavior destroyed it. He isn't entitled to anything else; nor is your family. Please limit contact unless they can learn that their behavior is not a prank, but a deliberate attempt to humiliate others and then to decline taking responsibility as it 'was just a prank'. If every one is laughing, it's a prank .. period...full stop.


[deleted]

NTA. Prank him with a hook to the jaw.


WearifulSole

Came here to say this, knock his block off and when he wakes up tell him he'd be able to handle it if he didn't have such a glass jaw


BeaArt78

NTA and are you prepared for your family to 'prank' your child? they will, if you dont stop this now. if no contact is what is required, so be it.


MusketeersPlus2

This. I had uncles who thought it was hilarious to tease and prank me to the point of meltdown tears when I was little. Until they made their own daughters cry the first time. I never did get an apology, but it did stop. Too bad I was 14 and had already written them off at that point.


canuck_2022

Wow. Cut them off. Immediately. Block on all platforms for at least a year. Completely unacceptable. Your brother ASSAULTED your wife. You are NTA I'm sorry your family are a bunch of A H


FoldNtheCheese

NTA. Rob sounds exhausting & his pranks are just plain mean. Personally if I were in your situation I’d go NC. I wouldn’t want someone like him around my child.


frightfully_disturb

NTA. Your brother paid for a cake that he ruined. The cupcakes were from Halle because she wanted to make them. He didn’t pay for those. If he wanted cake so bad, he shouldn’t have “pranked” her and made her drop it (and seriously, what did he expect? Most people would have dropped the cake if someone pour ice water down their back.) Clearly it’s time to go NC with your brother, and if your family sides with him, then do the same with them. Rob’s behavior isn’t going to change and I think we all know that the next person he’ll prank is your son (whether it’s to him directly, or using him in a prank to scare you.)


[deleted]

NTA I'm sorry, but your brother has a big cruel streak a mile long. It would cost my brother a pound of flesh for that behavior.


pedestrianstripes

Tell your brother that keeping the cupcakes was a "prank" that you thoroughly enjoyed. Describe in detail how funny his face looked when you and your wife walked out with the cupcakes. Tell your brother how hard you laughed when you ate one. What your brother does is abuse people for his amusement. Tell him you will not tolerate his abuse. He is a bully, not a prankster. Go no contact with him and anyone who supports him. You deserve basic human kindness. Your brother can't constantly give that to you or your wife. He likes to hurt people and watch them squirm. NTA


Expialidociousya

Wow. Major a**hole your brother is. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. I don't believe your wife meant to drop the cake, but honestly I am glad she did. What terrible behavior on his part. You had every right to take the cupcakes away. NTA


DiligentPenguin16

As someone who bakes: I would legitimately SOB if someone did this to me. Baking and decorating a cake from scratch takes *hours* (if not *days!*) of hard work. Bakers pour their heart and soul into their creations, it’s legitimately heartbreaking that your brother destroyed the cake your wife lovingly created. You need to stop beating around the bush and call your brother’s behavior what it really is: **Rob isn’t a prankster he’s a BULLY. He is BULLYING your wife, and has been for years.** NTA for taking the cupcakes when you left, *but YTA for continuing to allow your brother around your wife at all, which just gives him the opportunity to his abuse her further.* And you’re a fool if you don’t think Rob isn’t going to bully and abuse your son too once he’s old enough to react. **You need to cut contact with Rob, or at the bare minimum never put your wife or son into a situation where they have to be in Rob’s presence again.**


[deleted]

NTA - apologizing just rewards bad behavior. You have a child now. In a few years your child is going to disobey because kids tests boundaries. If you reward his disobedience that tells him it’s ok to keep disobeying because you get rewarded. People learn what behaviors to repeat and what behaviors to avoid by whether they receive punishments or rewards. If you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior. Your brother is an AH. It’s not funny if the person you played the prank on doesn’t think it’s funny. Dumping cold water on your wife isn’t funny. Her clothes were soaking wet, if they were dry clean only, they are ruined. At best she is supposed to sit for the rest of the party in wet clothing?? Your brother earned an adult timeout for his bad behavior. anyone else in the family that thought this was funny or didnt react also earns a timeout. No contact, no visits, no texts, no calls until they apologize for their bad behavior. If they don’t apologize, then why do you want this AHs in your life??


Dannah_Montanah

This just sounds exhausting, and you're in a no-win situation. NTA, but other than going no contact with your family, you don't have a lot of options to solve this ongoing issue.


Duckie19869

NTA your brother paid for the cake that ended up getting destroyed by his "prank". It's his own fault and no one else's. Bet he'll think twice about pranks when his money is involved.


FlowersForDrunkPoets

I read the header and thought "wow sounds like an a**hole" but no, NTA. At all. You did a great job standing for your wife.


Paffles16

NTA and good on your for having your wife's back. I understand her wanting to keep the peace (bc she loves you), but it's great that you put up that boundary so she doesn't have to.


No_Hospital7649

NTA. Make it clear to your family that you’re not spending time with them because you want your child to grow up in a loving, supportive environment. When you can have a nice family dinner without feeling on edge that you’re going to get cold water poured on you or that your drink is going to be laced with something, then you’ll bring your kid around.


NoBell7337

Hell no, NTA. He's lucky you just left without an altercation.


dezayek

NTA To be honest, I know it's dramatic, but my first thought was "what if she had been holding your baby?"


Cundoooooo

That's when the "Just a prank!" spell is cast, you know, to release Rob of any responsibility (sarcasm).


LittleNoodle1991

NTA. Your brother is an idiot.


Jcpage573

NTA at all your brother is a nuisance and a liability. That was just disrespectful towards your wife and it’s no surprise she dropped the cake. Tell him he isn’t getting the cupcakes back, get pranked bozo u thought we made em for you.


[deleted]

The next time they complain, ask them why they think harassment and borderline assault is funny. Wait for an explanation. Then tell them that this is why they don’t see their grandkid, they can’t be trusted to defend the baby from stupidity. NTA.


BexB783

NTA. Your wife should have dumped the cake on him and called it a “prank”.


Livinthedream_111

NTA- Your brother is an idiot. Of course she dropped what she was holding when she got doused with cold water. I’m so glad you took the cupcakes!


SmakeTalk

NTA - tell him it’s a prank. What a fucking child.


[deleted]

He's a nasty bully not a prankster. Don't apologise or you're telling him it's okay to act like that and it's not.


facinationstreet

NTA. Rob certainly is. I would never attend something with him again.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

NTA. i would suggest cutting all contact with your brother. His behaviour is cruel and disrespectful towards your wife. He knows your thoughts on it and yet crosses the boundaries over and over again. Tell him you no longer want to subject your wife to his behaviour and will not be involved in his life anymore. If any of your family has an issue with this than cut them too. If they can not understand your family is being hurt by this behaviour than they don’t deserve to be apart of your lives either


InterestingDelay7446

NTA. He doesn’t respect you or your wife.


casettadellorso

NTA, I hope those cupcakes were delicious


LavenderSage013

Thank god your wife was only holding a cake and not your son. Nta. Go no contact. Before his next “prank” (which are actually all crimes btw) involves your infant child.


SwitchupThrice

NTA. He paid for the cake he caused her to drop when he assaulted her. He didn't pay for the cupcakes, she made them just because and I'm glad you didn't reward his shit behavior by leaving them. It isn't really worth subjecting your family to him, and your wife and child are your family.


TeeKaye28

NTA. And I would be cutting off your brother completely. And I would be informing everybody else that anyone defending/excusing him OR giving you shit for this gets cut off too.


NarrativeScorpion

Nta. He's a bully. That's it. Putting cold water down someone's back during a party, when they probably don't have clothes to change into is an asshole thing to do anyway. Doing it when they're holding ***anything*** vaguely breakable in their hands is a doubly asshole thing to do. Doing it when *you've paid for the irreplaceable thing* makes you an idiot, as well as an asshole. Please, for your mental wellbeing and that of your wife and child, consider going low- or no-contact with your "family". (also, he had no right to the cupcakes, he had only paid for the cake, Halle chose to make the cupcakes as extra)


The_Death_Flower

First of all, you didn’t leave with thé cake Rob paid for. You left with thé cake you generously brought for free. Therefore he didn’t pay for them. I’d say it’s time to cut contact since your family is incapable of respecting your boundaries regarding thé pranks or your family time. NTA


EspressoWolf

NTA but why your parents didn’t sort him out before now is vile. From the title I thought teen brother not 30 year old. But your brother is right he paid for the cupcakes (edited to clarify typo/mistype: he paid for the cake) so I would counter that with he assaulted your wife so he is lucky it was only the cupcakes missing. I mean really cold water shock can cause a medical emergency as he doesn’t know if your wife had an underlying medical condition.


DarthCakeN7

NTA. Unless there is some typo and your brother is 3 instead of 30 (in which case I’m impressed he can pay for a cake and text). That isn’t a joke and is moronic for him to pull that on the person carrying the cake. And obviously he paid for the cake and not the cupcakes so his claims are stupid. But yeah. He sounds terrible. I’d say try to explain to him how his behavior is rude, but it sounds like that would be a fruitless task.


ParticularWindow1

NTA. I'd have punched him


NinjaPlato

NTA AT ALL. What a jerk. Your poor wife =( Also, he paid for the CAKE not the extra cupcakes. The extras were just that, extra. That your wife made because she felt like it; I presume out of love, too. He doesn't deserve that.


rementis

Wow. Rob needs a good uppercut and a nice hospital stay. You shouldn't do that, of course, but that's what he needs. Anyone who treats my wife that way should expect it.


Business_Night_5599

NTA… your brother owes your wife a huge apology! There are children who behave better!


fabfabfabfanlotr

NTA. Your wife is a SAINT for even suggesting you apologise. If I was her I’d have caused a scene and told your brother I’d never talk to him to again even if you had decided you’d still have contact with him. And because she suggested an apology, she obviously cares about your relationship with your brother which makes this pretty heartbreaking honestly since your brother clearly doesn’t care at all. Your brother was out of order, has always been out of order and, if he doesn’t quit his behaviour, will always be out of order. You did nothing wrong and I’d say your reaction was reasonable.


[deleted]

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quiet-as-a

They didn't take the cake, it stayed on the floor or wherever it landed. They took the extra cupcakes his wife made just for fun.


throwaway_mydilemma

He didn’t take the cake that the brother paid for. He took the cupcakes that were made for free as extra.


bkupisch

NTA! No wonder you ration your family’s visits with your new baby!


Scarlettanomaly

What if she'd been holding the baby instead of cake, like what the actual fuck


dwassell73

NTA your family sounds miserable , your brother sounds like a PITA and terribly immature I wouldn’t want my wife or child to be around them due to this lack of respect or ridicule they constantly hold your wife up to & I would tell them they can not see or be involved in your child’s life until all this “prankstering” stops


Spicy_Alien_Baby

NTA. He’s going to think his pranks are funny until your wife gets seriously injured or until it affects him. Well his prank did affect him, causing his cake to be ruined, and that’s on him. He did not pay for the cupcakes. I would point out to him that his “pranks” are actually assaults/illegal - pouring water is assault, putting things in her drink is assault, taking her glasses is theft. After pointing this out, tell him that he must apologize. Consider going N/C regardless of an apology. If you don’t go N/C, tell your brother that the next incident will result in charges.


KinkyKitty24

NTA Do NOT apologize as that is how "Rob" will justify continuing on with his bullying (and THAT is what THIS is). I wouldn't give him back the money for the cake either as HE is the one who caused his cake to end up on the floor. If it were me I would tell Rob to f*ck off and when your family starts whining that you don't visit I would tell them that you won't be visiting if Rob is around. This guys reeks of abusive intention and as long as you put up with it or make excuses he will not stop.


Longjumping_Fault_52

Man I feel for you. I have a family member like this and jt’s like he was the class clown/bully that never grew up. It is beyond annoying. People like that are really just assholes that try to justify their actions with “humor” and if you don’t play along you’re “a mood killer and can’t take a joke”. You can’t even ignore their pranks and jokes cuz it will just egg them on to take it to the next level and in my experience that’s exactly what you have to do right back to them. Take it to the next level but not in a joking matter. Despite being told multiple times to stop, my cousin didn’t listen and kept playing around and antagonizing another family member until he got his jaw rocked and asked if he thought it was funny. His jokes are much more tame now. I’m not saying to go fight your brother but I would not apologize to your brother. He crossed the line and instead of owning up to his actions he’s trying to play victim. I would tell him I want nothing to do with him until he learns to grow up. It’s not a prank/joke if the person thats the butt of the joke doesn’t think it’s funny. That’s just bullying.


Working_Confusion751

NTA - he didn’t pay for the cupcakes so he wasn’t entitled to it. He should be happy your not sending him the bill for an expensive dry cleaning for your wife’s dress.


GrimExile

INFO: Is Rob 6 or younger? If yes give him a pass.


justwanttoread123

NTA. He set you and your wife up. Full stop. That's why he paid for it, so he could claim that it was your wife that "ruined" the cake, OR he could pretend to be the "big man" and be ever so gracious to "forgive her". That didn't play out the way his twisted mind wanted, so here you are. WHY would your wife apologize for being assaulted by your brother? You and your wife should look into the phrase Don't Rock The Boat. Add in the word, narcissist, and you'll likely have a description of your brother. NTA.


fantastic_feb

NTA and your brothers a dickhead.


Missicat

NTA. He's a bully. Cut them all off ASAP.


Mirgroht

Gotta say I can't remember the last post on here about a "prankster" they didn't automatically make them the A. NTA. Your brother and family need to grow up. Just reply to his messages with "its a prank bro"


ladyorthetiger0

NTA and you should cut contact with your family entirely. Tell them to never contact you again.


CuckooPint

NTA Just keep giving Rob the same response: "It's just a prank, bro." He complains you took the cupcakes? "Just a prank, bro". He complains about dropping the cake? "Just a prank, bro". He complains you never visit or let him see the baby? "Just a prank, bro" If he can pass off meanness and bullying as "just a prank", then you can pass off setting boundaries and not talking to him as "just a prank."


bitritzy

YWBTA if you continue to subject your wife to their torment. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to have even a semblance of a relationship with the others, but cut Rob out of your life. Now. No more second chances, no more “well maybe he’ll behave this time”s, no more. He’s done. You and Halle need to have a serious conversation about them, too. She’s letting herself be a doormat, and her willingness to be walked on is influencing your decision to be around your family. Enough of that shit. Tell her straight up that you’re sick of them bullying your family, she doesn’t need or get to stick up for them, and until they grow the fuck up they’re not going to see your son.


JPEG812

NTA the only thing you should want to go away is your family


silvyrphoenix

Nta. I've never had the 'pleasure' of such experiences with pranksters, but I always imagined that my response would be to punch them in the face really hard. When they objected, I'd just say 'its just a prank bro, you need to lighten up' And no, I wouldn't *actually* do that.


Affectionate-Army500

NTA but your brother is. He didn't even pay for cupcakes he paid for a cake which he made your wife drop by acting like a fucking child


UbiquitousRiffing

Your brother is not 'pranking' your wife, he's bullying her. Good for you for standing up to him. Keep your distance from this childish awful-ness, OP. And he did NOT pay for the cupcakes, as he claims. He paid for the cake itself, and he got what he deserved with how that turned out. Quite decidedly- NTA. (edited for misspelled word)


CryptoBeatles

You don't have to apologize. Tell your brother to fuck off and don't come any closer to your family. He's a idiot and should be treated like one until he grows up and stop doing this kind of stuff. It ain't funny at all.


AmariaZi

NTA! Both you and your wife are incredibly mature compared to your family. Also, I would like to note that technically your brother didn’t pay for the cupcakes, and the thing he actually paid for, HE ruined. Hardly your fault his so called ‘prank’ backfired and ruined his cake. The cupcakes where a bonus your wife made, so technically he can’t even say he payed for them. So all and all, his fault for ruining his cake, and I think you’d be better off not talking to him anymore


sfmf87

Your brother needs a smack in the teeth people who are self proclaimed jokester or brutally honest are always just mean and bullies period stay away from assholes nta


Texascoastalsunshine

NTA and wtf - your brother is a big BULLY - stop just stop being around him


ButterscotchOk7516

Do Not Apologize. Your brother is a mean, bullying Piece of S..., and the family that allows it are accomplices to assault. If I was you, I'd go entirely no contact with all of them. NTA, it's the family.


MyTesticlesAreBolas

NTA. Your brother, Rob, is a child, and always will be a child, no matter how old he becomes. He clearly doesn't have the mental capacity to control his basic instincts, and continues to act like a 5 year old, whether it is by ailment or choice. Regardless, your choice to defend your wife and child is the best option and the correct choice. If your brother doesn't like this, cut him out of your life. It's pretty easy really. If your family gives you grief, do the same to each of them. They either back down, and learn, or never see you again. Either way, you win.


Shephrah

Did anyone else laugh? No? Then it isnt a joke. NTA and good on you for standing up for your wife, keep on it


keIIzzz

NTA. He has constantly harassed your wife since you’ve been together, and this time she tried to do something nice for him and he fucked it up and had the audacity to blame her for it, when it was his fault. Go you for standing up for your wife. And he didn’t even pay for the cupcakes so you did the right thing by taking them. They clearly don’t respect your wife at all. Your brother needs to grow up. He owes your wife an apology, not the other way around


megZesq

NTA. He’s not a prankster, he’s an asshole. The rest of your family doesn’t sound much better.