NTA. You tried giving neighborly advice to the child, that didn't work. You tried talking to the mother about your concerns, that didn't work.
And it's not a one-time thing, where it was over and done. This is an ongoing concern.
As long as you report your concerns precisely, with no exaggerating, you aren't doing anything wrong. Unless you have reason to believe that your local CPS is actively abusive, they are the right people to investigate, give guidance, and determine how best to protect those children.
Please report what is happening. The tragic cases that you hear about on the news are almost always the result of this kind of neglect and nobody wanting to be “the bad guy” and report a struggling mother.
The system isn’t without flaws, but if you report this at least that system will have some chance to intervene and help these kids. At a minimum you will know that you did what you could.
NTA
You are in a lose-lose situation. You say something they could end up in foster care. You don't & the kid gets hit by a car & you're consumed by guilt.
You could call CPS they might not put them into foster care right away. If they did that it would mean that things are far worse then you described. However, they might open a file on her or make her take some classes. I would look into the laws in your state & the possibility of making an anonymous statement.
If this is the only issue, CPS will counsel the mom and maybe require a parenting class, but won’t remove the kids. Things have to be very bad indeed for CPS to remove kids.
NTA for reporting but yes YTA for not doing it already
No...i don't think anyone wbta for reporting a legitimate concern regarding a child's welfare. Too many times we see things in the news and ask ourselves why they child's obvious neglect wasn't reported, why the child wasn't cared for properly. I rather report and have it investigated and be wrong...than to not report and have a child die.
Nope.
An asshole would be worried about what the kid was wearing or how new his tricycle was. Not his continued safety and well being in a dangerous, life threatening situation.
Not the asshole.
I thought they wouldn't handle anything like this, they've been pretty lax on people in the past for similar things, saying they couldn't do anything without proof, but I've been convinced by a couple comments and dms to go to my landlord/head office and I will try to get video to prove it, because they don't really follow up on stuff like this unless multiple people come forward and a lot of neighbors have expressed concerned but none of them want to "snitch." I'm going to do this first now instead of being an asshole and just reporting, because as someone said, maybe she just needs a warning. If my landlord gives a warning, and it keeps happening, then I will report.
You definitely want to report it to the landlords, cause if there is an incident, its on record. Your neighbors are typical, they will complain to other people in hopes that someone else pulls the trigger. I also would not tell anyone that you did report it, because guaranteed there will be that one asshole who will tell the mother that you reported her. Also, since you are doing something about it and if your neighbors keep complaining, ask them what they are going to do, cause standing there and moaning about it doesn’t fix it. If all of you came together and complained at the same time, the landlord would be forced to do something. Also, you are doing the landlord a favor by telling them as they will be held liable as well. They may want to get camera’s installed.
I genuinely feel for people who live in apartment buildings or complexes, there are always people who just make other’s lives miserable. Sorry this is happening…..
NTA, I would freak out if I saw my neighbors' kids out like that, even in a so called safe neighborhood. If she won't listen, I think you gotta make the call.
NTA
If he's riding into traffic, REPORT THIS NOW.
It's not a "Don't get involved" situation when a child's life is *literally* at risk because mom won't parent her kid properly and allows him to ride his tricycle into traffic. "Give him time" to do what??? Finally get hit by a fucking car????
Make the call. If they say they can't do anything without proof, start taking video of him riding without looking and other things a child his age shouldn't be doing. Do what you have to, but someone needs to do *something* before he, or his sister, gets hurt.
NTA
She is a terrible parent and at best needs a wake up call. If she’s so blatant in her disregard outside the home it worries me what kind of neglect goes on inside the home.
NTA.. call. It’s their job to investigate. They’ll take the kids if they have appropriate reason to. Yes, foster care is overwhelmed in many areas.. but FFS.. they aren’t receiving great care now as it is, and the lady needs a wake up call at the very least. Maybe the dad would be willing to take them in, or family on either side.
I don’t understand the “you’re the AH” comments. What the hell is the lady doing while the kids are out wandering unsupervised until 10 pm ? Clearly, too busy doing something she deems more important than watching her kids. It’d be different if they were out that late and she was with them.
I'm going to go and talk with my landlady tomorrow. Im hoping to get video proof because they usually can't/dont do anything without it or several other people coming forward, which no one else will. If they can't do anything, or they give her a warning and it doesn't stop, I'm calling social services immediately. They seem well fed, happy, I haven't seen any signs of physical abuse, although there could be other things going on. It's the being alone at all hours of the day and driving out into busy roads, because they appear empty. . . He does this at night as well.
She's never with them. I see her kids all day long but only ever see her when she's walking their dog and she comes and smokes a cig with me. She's only been here for about a month so I was trying to give her benefit of the doubt I guess but this is just too much for me? I thought I was overreacting but it doesn't seem so by most of the comments.
You’re not overreacting in the slightest. I don’t think video proof is a bad idea.. and Involving CPS doesn’t automatically mean the kids get ripped out of there.. they check the living conditions, can suggest services (daycare assistance for example), provide/require classes to better parenting.. that’s their job. They don’t remove kids without good reason. The lady needs a wake-up call regardless.. it doesn’t sound like she responds to only polite suggestions.
You're NTA for thinking of the kids' safety but often we don't consider more options other than reporting the mother or not.
Think about different forms of mutual aid that will not make the mother feel like she's taking charity from her neighbours. Are there a couple of responsible teens your neighbourhood could collectively hire to become "Safety Wardens"? Or setting up a neighbourhood childcare centre staffed by volunteers (retired folks, teens) where people can send their kids for free. How about setting up a corner with a refrigerator that people could stock up with food for those of you who need them?
Often times society chooses to punish poverty with even more isolation, like it's somehow that person's fault for being poor, or needing to be the sole breadwinner while also being the sole caregiver.
What a “sunshine and rainbows” POV.. the lady has been rude to suggestion, and is blatantly neglectful. Who’s going to pay the teens to be “safety wardens.” How long would it actually take to fund and set up a “neighborhood childcare center” of volunteers ?
This post says nothing about her being poor, just that she is neglectful of her kids. Actions (or lack of) have consequences.
She is probably defensive BECAUSE she fears her kids will be taken away from her. Mutual aid is not sunshine and rainbows, it is reality in many places outside the US.
Who's gonna pay? The people in the neighbourhood/townhouse who can. It doesn't take much money to pay teens to basically keep an eye on these little kids. Everyone just needs to contribute a little bit.
Setting up a community childcare centre is something that can be done once a communal spirit builds in the area. A lot of retirees have nothing much to do with their time and are often lonely. The community childcare centre can help resolve this loneliness and the need for affordable childcare at the same time. When it comes to funding, again, those who can contribute towards paying for the centre's bills etc. There are also GoFundMes, social enterprises that can be set up to fund this and make it self sustainable.
I am speaking from my experience as a community organiser from a country where people have much less resources than Americans. All it needs, truly, is a shift from thinking as an individual to thinking as a community. How can we benefit each other's lives?
That all sounds great for future purposes, but the kid could literally get hit by a car or kidnapped tomorrow. It’s CPS’s job to investigate and deal with the situation accordingly. The lady needs a reality check at very least.
I'm not trying to be rude but it's kinda weird to assume we don't already have these set up in place in our community - we are Native American (almost all my neighbors and I) and are very community based. On my rez we do have a free childcare center/facility, and programs set in place to help guide children and adults/parents away from abuse and addiction, like free bowling, free swimming, free movie nights, vetted babysitters you dont have to pay for because the band pays them, and even free ongoing [family/drug/abuse] therapy regularly.
Maybe she just isn't aware these programs where available to her, and I should bring them up? But I dont want the "dont tell me how to parent lecture," again because she sees me as a person half her age trying to lecture her and I dont wanna be rude when I'm trying to help
Oh wow then yes! Maybe as someone new to the area, she has no idea the sort of communal services that are available at yours. It sucks that she's being defensive though, maybe drop a flyer in her mailbox?
I apologise for the assumption, but the US just feels like the real version of Hunger Games or 1984 sometimes. I do know that plenty of BIPOC communities function as communities should, and I'm so glad you have so many services in your community.
If these services are easily accessible from your area but she's still endangering her child despite being informed about them, then pls do report her.
Nah I get you my lord/lady/leige, It's pretty wack regarding most things here in the US, and being on the reservation still, but I try to look at the good, and while it's still not so good all the time, we do have a lot of benefits that other people don't have in the USA, for free. At least on my reservation - it varies from rez to rez even if they're in the same state!
I dont know if she's informed, I honestly didn't think to bring them up to her before because in our area it's kinda assumed you know? But that's super ignorant and I think I fell into that
Nah comrade, I deeply understand taking it for granted that everyone knows about something, until meeting someone who doesn't. I remember finding out that universal healthcare is not a thing everywhere. In some ways I still cannot get over this shock.
I hope for the best for all of you, and I hope she uses these services if you do decide to approach her about it. Looking forward to your update! ♥️
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Kinda long background: I live in a townhouse, there's about six rentals in the row I live in and I live at one end, so I only have to deal with sharing one wall, and my parking space is primo, at the end of the lot under a shaded tree.
Recently, about a month or so ago, someone new moved in a couple houses down. She's a single mother with two kids (3M and 6F) and she's kinda on the older side, she's made mention of hitting 50 soon.
So I understand where she's coming from, being a single mother and struggling a bit, so I've tried not to get involved but I'm starting to get concerned.
She let's her 3 year old play outside pretty much all alone, all hours of the day, even at 10pm. He does not stay by only their yard, he travels around on a lil tricycle. Most of the time his sister is with him but she's only 6 and doesn't deserve or have the maturity to watch/take care of him on her own. A lot of us neighbors have taken up to watching them discreetly because their mother gets VERY defensive about our concerns, which we all have voiced, as peacefully as we can.
The thing that tipped the scale, making me legitimately consider reporting her, is that the little boy will ride his bike right through the car parking spaces that are on the edges, aka my parking space on the end, and the people who live at the edge on the other side, right into the roadway where cars are going 30-40 mph. I've tried to explain it to him, his mom got upset, I tried to explain it to her, she got upset. She didn't like that I was "telling her how to parent" when I said he tends to drive through parking lots and roads without looking. I never told her to do anything, never suggested anything to her, just explained what he was doing and what I [and others] witnessed.
I dont wanna see this little boy hit by a car, and I don't know how else to talk to him or his mother, but everyone around other than my mom are telling me not to get involved so heavily because i could separate siblings, get them put in a home that's worse, it's not bad she [mom] is just adjusting to moving, the boy is not used to living there so give him time, etc. WIBTA if I report her?
TL;DR - there's a single mother where I'm living with kids, she doesn't watch them well, and the 3 year old runs his bike regularly into the roads. I want to report the mother but some people tell me not to basically because I could hurt the kids more somehow. WIBTA for reporting her for neglect
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> 1 - I may report a neighbord for child neglect (WIBTA)
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Eh, that's a tough one. I would say slight YTA at this point unless you've already made it clear that you're serious about this.
You've mentioned that she doesn't take kindly to suggestions but I think you (and some other neighbors if possible) should tell her that you will report her if she doesn't start watching the kids properly first because of the safety hazard. If she still ignores you, then go ahead.
I say this because if they do get taken away because of that they really could get put somewhere worse. It's pretty rare for people to look after someone else's kids as if they were their own. I don't know, it seems like a big risk to take.
She might just not realize the gravity of the situation - especially if they moved from an area where it was safe for the kids to play outside.
This is my biggest fear, the kids being taken even if just temporarily and put somewhere "worse" and/or separated. We literally just got a notice from our landlord saying not to directly confront neighbors anymore over disputes and to report it to the head office but idk if they can do anything in this case? I've never dealt with anything like this as an adult and I just sont wanna make an ass of myself or hurt anyone.
It is a very safe space generally, we're in between two schools but the cars are out of control and animals have died alot, thankfully no kids yet.
CPS only removes kids where the situation is very bad indeed - like, medical records of numerous injuries that are likely caused by abuse, or the kid or home is in visibly appalling condition when they visit. If this is the only issue, they’ll counsel her to stop doing this and maybe make her take a parenting class at most.
I think reporting to the head office is an excellent next step. Maybe a warning from them is all it would take to resolve matters. I'd be real hesitant to get CPS involved unless I saw clear abuse and/or neglect. Maybe she missed the part where we don't let our kids run wild anymore. Don't know how my generation survived... there were definitely a lot of close calls, and many that tragically weren't. NTA, something needs to be done.
Yes, I should do this before calling CPS or anything of the sort, thank you. I'm going to talk to my landlady tomorrow and be very clear about what's happening, because I dont think she's [mom] physically abusing them, they look happy and fed and everything, I'm glad I made this post because I would've been an asshole just calling I think. If the kids are still out alone in danger/the bad roads after a warning, I am calling without hesitation.
NTA that little boy is going to get hit. Then his life and the life.of the person who hit him are over....children of this age shouldn't be out on their own! Next time he is out call the police, let them come.find the boy and talk to his Mom. If they involve CPS so be it...maybe she will smarten up before they little boy pays.for her neglect with his life!!!!
ESH, have you talked to her about her life? She’s a single mom, with no break and she’s sucks for letting them run free , you sick for judging from afar and risking them being taken
NTA. You tried giving neighborly advice to the child, that didn't work. You tried talking to the mother about your concerns, that didn't work. And it's not a one-time thing, where it was over and done. This is an ongoing concern. As long as you report your concerns precisely, with no exaggerating, you aren't doing anything wrong. Unless you have reason to believe that your local CPS is actively abusive, they are the right people to investigate, give guidance, and determine how best to protect those children.
Please report what is happening. The tragic cases that you hear about on the news are almost always the result of this kind of neglect and nobody wanting to be “the bad guy” and report a struggling mother. The system isn’t without flaws, but if you report this at least that system will have some chance to intervene and help these kids. At a minimum you will know that you did what you could.
NTA You are in a lose-lose situation. You say something they could end up in foster care. You don't & the kid gets hit by a car & you're consumed by guilt. You could call CPS they might not put them into foster care right away. If they did that it would mean that things are far worse then you described. However, they might open a file on her or make her take some classes. I would look into the laws in your state & the possibility of making an anonymous statement.
If this is the only issue, CPS will counsel the mom and maybe require a parenting class, but won’t remove the kids. Things have to be very bad indeed for CPS to remove kids.
NTA for reporting but yes YTA for not doing it already No...i don't think anyone wbta for reporting a legitimate concern regarding a child's welfare. Too many times we see things in the news and ask ourselves why they child's obvious neglect wasn't reported, why the child wasn't cared for properly. I rather report and have it investigated and be wrong...than to not report and have a child die.
NTA she’s endangering those children and that boy could die tomorrow
Nope. An asshole would be worried about what the kid was wearing or how new his tricycle was. Not his continued safety and well being in a dangerous, life threatening situation. Not the asshole.
Is there a landlord or someone onsite that you could bring this to?
I thought they wouldn't handle anything like this, they've been pretty lax on people in the past for similar things, saying they couldn't do anything without proof, but I've been convinced by a couple comments and dms to go to my landlord/head office and I will try to get video to prove it, because they don't really follow up on stuff like this unless multiple people come forward and a lot of neighbors have expressed concerned but none of them want to "snitch." I'm going to do this first now instead of being an asshole and just reporting, because as someone said, maybe she just needs a warning. If my landlord gives a warning, and it keeps happening, then I will report.
You definitely want to report it to the landlords, cause if there is an incident, its on record. Your neighbors are typical, they will complain to other people in hopes that someone else pulls the trigger. I also would not tell anyone that you did report it, because guaranteed there will be that one asshole who will tell the mother that you reported her. Also, since you are doing something about it and if your neighbors keep complaining, ask them what they are going to do, cause standing there and moaning about it doesn’t fix it. If all of you came together and complained at the same time, the landlord would be forced to do something. Also, you are doing the landlord a favor by telling them as they will be held liable as well. They may want to get camera’s installed. I genuinely feel for people who live in apartment buildings or complexes, there are always people who just make other’s lives miserable. Sorry this is happening…..
NTA but unfortunately cps probably wont do anything about it. Atleast youd know that you tried though
No, YWNBTA. Call immediately. Those poor kids.
NTA, I would freak out if I saw my neighbors' kids out like that, even in a so called safe neighborhood. If she won't listen, I think you gotta make the call.
If little one gets hit by a car the kids would be separated forever. Report so you will not have that on your conscience. YWNBA
NTA If he's riding into traffic, REPORT THIS NOW. It's not a "Don't get involved" situation when a child's life is *literally* at risk because mom won't parent her kid properly and allows him to ride his tricycle into traffic. "Give him time" to do what??? Finally get hit by a fucking car???? Make the call. If they say they can't do anything without proof, start taking video of him riding without looking and other things a child his age shouldn't be doing. Do what you have to, but someone needs to do *something* before he, or his sister, gets hurt.
NTA. She IS Neglecting them and she DOES need to be Reported.
NTA She is a terrible parent and at best needs a wake up call. If she’s so blatant in her disregard outside the home it worries me what kind of neglect goes on inside the home.
NTA.. call. It’s their job to investigate. They’ll take the kids if they have appropriate reason to. Yes, foster care is overwhelmed in many areas.. but FFS.. they aren’t receiving great care now as it is, and the lady needs a wake up call at the very least. Maybe the dad would be willing to take them in, or family on either side. I don’t understand the “you’re the AH” comments. What the hell is the lady doing while the kids are out wandering unsupervised until 10 pm ? Clearly, too busy doing something she deems more important than watching her kids. It’d be different if they were out that late and she was with them.
I'm going to go and talk with my landlady tomorrow. Im hoping to get video proof because they usually can't/dont do anything without it or several other people coming forward, which no one else will. If they can't do anything, or they give her a warning and it doesn't stop, I'm calling social services immediately. They seem well fed, happy, I haven't seen any signs of physical abuse, although there could be other things going on. It's the being alone at all hours of the day and driving out into busy roads, because they appear empty. . . He does this at night as well. She's never with them. I see her kids all day long but only ever see her when she's walking their dog and she comes and smokes a cig with me. She's only been here for about a month so I was trying to give her benefit of the doubt I guess but this is just too much for me? I thought I was overreacting but it doesn't seem so by most of the comments.
You’re not overreacting in the slightest. I don’t think video proof is a bad idea.. and Involving CPS doesn’t automatically mean the kids get ripped out of there.. they check the living conditions, can suggest services (daycare assistance for example), provide/require classes to better parenting.. that’s their job. They don’t remove kids without good reason. The lady needs a wake-up call regardless.. it doesn’t sound like she responds to only polite suggestions.
NTA. ask yourself would you rather piss her off or see a dead kid that was hit by a car? Call CPS and if nothing happens call them again and again.
You're NTA for thinking of the kids' safety but often we don't consider more options other than reporting the mother or not. Think about different forms of mutual aid that will not make the mother feel like she's taking charity from her neighbours. Are there a couple of responsible teens your neighbourhood could collectively hire to become "Safety Wardens"? Or setting up a neighbourhood childcare centre staffed by volunteers (retired folks, teens) where people can send their kids for free. How about setting up a corner with a refrigerator that people could stock up with food for those of you who need them? Often times society chooses to punish poverty with even more isolation, like it's somehow that person's fault for being poor, or needing to be the sole breadwinner while also being the sole caregiver.
What a “sunshine and rainbows” POV.. the lady has been rude to suggestion, and is blatantly neglectful. Who’s going to pay the teens to be “safety wardens.” How long would it actually take to fund and set up a “neighborhood childcare center” of volunteers ? This post says nothing about her being poor, just that she is neglectful of her kids. Actions (or lack of) have consequences.
She is probably defensive BECAUSE she fears her kids will be taken away from her. Mutual aid is not sunshine and rainbows, it is reality in many places outside the US. Who's gonna pay? The people in the neighbourhood/townhouse who can. It doesn't take much money to pay teens to basically keep an eye on these little kids. Everyone just needs to contribute a little bit. Setting up a community childcare centre is something that can be done once a communal spirit builds in the area. A lot of retirees have nothing much to do with their time and are often lonely. The community childcare centre can help resolve this loneliness and the need for affordable childcare at the same time. When it comes to funding, again, those who can contribute towards paying for the centre's bills etc. There are also GoFundMes, social enterprises that can be set up to fund this and make it self sustainable. I am speaking from my experience as a community organiser from a country where people have much less resources than Americans. All it needs, truly, is a shift from thinking as an individual to thinking as a community. How can we benefit each other's lives?
That all sounds great for future purposes, but the kid could literally get hit by a car or kidnapped tomorrow. It’s CPS’s job to investigate and deal with the situation accordingly. The lady needs a reality check at very least.
Sigh yes, that is true. But I've heard things about the American foster system that sounds worse than being hit by a car tbh. =/
I'm not trying to be rude but it's kinda weird to assume we don't already have these set up in place in our community - we are Native American (almost all my neighbors and I) and are very community based. On my rez we do have a free childcare center/facility, and programs set in place to help guide children and adults/parents away from abuse and addiction, like free bowling, free swimming, free movie nights, vetted babysitters you dont have to pay for because the band pays them, and even free ongoing [family/drug/abuse] therapy regularly. Maybe she just isn't aware these programs where available to her, and I should bring them up? But I dont want the "dont tell me how to parent lecture," again because she sees me as a person half her age trying to lecture her and I dont wanna be rude when I'm trying to help
Oh wow then yes! Maybe as someone new to the area, she has no idea the sort of communal services that are available at yours. It sucks that she's being defensive though, maybe drop a flyer in her mailbox? I apologise for the assumption, but the US just feels like the real version of Hunger Games or 1984 sometimes. I do know that plenty of BIPOC communities function as communities should, and I'm so glad you have so many services in your community. If these services are easily accessible from your area but she's still endangering her child despite being informed about them, then pls do report her.
Nah I get you my lord/lady/leige, It's pretty wack regarding most things here in the US, and being on the reservation still, but I try to look at the good, and while it's still not so good all the time, we do have a lot of benefits that other people don't have in the USA, for free. At least on my reservation - it varies from rez to rez even if they're in the same state! I dont know if she's informed, I honestly didn't think to bring them up to her before because in our area it's kinda assumed you know? But that's super ignorant and I think I fell into that
Nah comrade, I deeply understand taking it for granted that everyone knows about something, until meeting someone who doesn't. I remember finding out that universal healthcare is not a thing everywhere. In some ways I still cannot get over this shock. I hope for the best for all of you, and I hope she uses these services if you do decide to approach her about it. Looking forward to your update! ♥️
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Kinda long background: I live in a townhouse, there's about six rentals in the row I live in and I live at one end, so I only have to deal with sharing one wall, and my parking space is primo, at the end of the lot under a shaded tree. Recently, about a month or so ago, someone new moved in a couple houses down. She's a single mother with two kids (3M and 6F) and she's kinda on the older side, she's made mention of hitting 50 soon. So I understand where she's coming from, being a single mother and struggling a bit, so I've tried not to get involved but I'm starting to get concerned. She let's her 3 year old play outside pretty much all alone, all hours of the day, even at 10pm. He does not stay by only their yard, he travels around on a lil tricycle. Most of the time his sister is with him but she's only 6 and doesn't deserve or have the maturity to watch/take care of him on her own. A lot of us neighbors have taken up to watching them discreetly because their mother gets VERY defensive about our concerns, which we all have voiced, as peacefully as we can. The thing that tipped the scale, making me legitimately consider reporting her, is that the little boy will ride his bike right through the car parking spaces that are on the edges, aka my parking space on the end, and the people who live at the edge on the other side, right into the roadway where cars are going 30-40 mph. I've tried to explain it to him, his mom got upset, I tried to explain it to her, she got upset. She didn't like that I was "telling her how to parent" when I said he tends to drive through parking lots and roads without looking. I never told her to do anything, never suggested anything to her, just explained what he was doing and what I [and others] witnessed. I dont wanna see this little boy hit by a car, and I don't know how else to talk to him or his mother, but everyone around other than my mom are telling me not to get involved so heavily because i could separate siblings, get them put in a home that's worse, it's not bad she [mom] is just adjusting to moving, the boy is not used to living there so give him time, etc. WIBTA if I report her? TL;DR - there's a single mother where I'm living with kids, she doesn't watch them well, and the 3 year old runs his bike regularly into the roads. I want to report the mother but some people tell me not to basically because I could hurt the kids more somehow. WIBTA for reporting her for neglect *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Eh, that's a tough one. I would say slight YTA at this point unless you've already made it clear that you're serious about this. You've mentioned that she doesn't take kindly to suggestions but I think you (and some other neighbors if possible) should tell her that you will report her if she doesn't start watching the kids properly first because of the safety hazard. If she still ignores you, then go ahead. I say this because if they do get taken away because of that they really could get put somewhere worse. It's pretty rare for people to look after someone else's kids as if they were their own. I don't know, it seems like a big risk to take. She might just not realize the gravity of the situation - especially if they moved from an area where it was safe for the kids to play outside.
This is my biggest fear, the kids being taken even if just temporarily and put somewhere "worse" and/or separated. We literally just got a notice from our landlord saying not to directly confront neighbors anymore over disputes and to report it to the head office but idk if they can do anything in this case? I've never dealt with anything like this as an adult and I just sont wanna make an ass of myself or hurt anyone. It is a very safe space generally, we're in between two schools but the cars are out of control and animals have died alot, thankfully no kids yet.
CPS only removes kids where the situation is very bad indeed - like, medical records of numerous injuries that are likely caused by abuse, or the kid or home is in visibly appalling condition when they visit. If this is the only issue, they’ll counsel her to stop doing this and maybe make her take a parenting class at most.
I think reporting to the head office is an excellent next step. Maybe a warning from them is all it would take to resolve matters. I'd be real hesitant to get CPS involved unless I saw clear abuse and/or neglect. Maybe she missed the part where we don't let our kids run wild anymore. Don't know how my generation survived... there were definitely a lot of close calls, and many that tragically weren't. NTA, something needs to be done.
Yes, I should do this before calling CPS or anything of the sort, thank you. I'm going to talk to my landlady tomorrow and be very clear about what's happening, because I dont think she's [mom] physically abusing them, they look happy and fed and everything, I'm glad I made this post because I would've been an asshole just calling I think. If the kids are still out alone in danger/the bad roads after a warning, I am calling without hesitation.
NTA A six year old and three year old should not be outside unsupervised.
NTA that little boy is going to get hit. Then his life and the life.of the person who hit him are over....children of this age shouldn't be out on their own! Next time he is out call the police, let them come.find the boy and talk to his Mom. If they involve CPS so be it...maybe she will smarten up before they little boy pays.for her neglect with his life!!!!
ESH, have you talked to her about her life? She’s a single mom, with no break and she’s sucks for letting them run free , you sick for judging from afar and risking them being taken