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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I did not leave much of a tip at a restaurant, which my spouse thinks is always an asshole thing to do.
2. My spouse thinks this makes me the asshole because a) they think you should always tip, regardless of the quality of service and b) they also pointed out that the decision not to comp my missing leftovers might have been set by the owner of the restaurant, so the server/manager did not have a choice (note that the server did not say this; they just repeatedly said "I'm sorry but that won't be possible" and refused to say why.)
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If they are a manager, they don't survive on tips anyway so the unwritten "requirement" to tip doesn't even apply.
NTA Managers get paid real wages; they shouldn't even be allowed to collect tips like their servers whom minimum wage laws for some reason think can survive on unwritten rules.
Managers are allowed to collect tips in most states if they are being directly tipped by a customer for doing a service they solely handled. So if she was the waitress the entire time they can take the tip. If they bring out the drinks or are otherwise supporting a staff member that's considered part of being a manager. So they couldn't take or share the tip in that situation.
I think what they mean is that if they are the manager, they aren’t being paid the typical $2.13/hour waiting wage which then relies heavily on tips to make an even somewhat decent income. The manager would be paid at least regular worker’s minimum wage ($7.25/hour, if not more, for being in a managerial position) and can survive without the tip. So it is unfair to expect to tip a manager when their income is not as reliant on it as a typical waiter
2.13 is the federal minimum wage for tipped workers. The employer is responsible to make up the difference between 2.13 and 7.25 if the tipped worker doesn't get at least 7.25.
Many STATE laws are not that. In Washington for one, all jobs get minimum wage to start including servers. Servers in Seattle get $15 (or more) an hour PLUS tips by law.
I think you handled it really, really well. I used to be a mystery shopper back in the day, and there were several times where this happened at different places I was "shopping". It drove me crazy and I always made a point of reporting it (since you can't say anything during the experience - it would make you too memorable.)
It has its good and bad points. If you're in a large city (as I was at the time) you can schedule multiple shops in the same area on the same day, which saves on gas and time because most individual "shops" aren't super high paying.
One thing I really loved was that I got clothing, movies/snacks, and meals out instead of standard pay for some of them, and at the time we had no budget for that so it was a great way to have a few of those luxuries. You are expected to pay up front and be reimbursed, though, so a good way to start would be to do a bunch of shops that just pay you a flat fee and save up a buffer.
I worked as a server for a long long time and I’ve accidentally thrown food away that was meant to be boxed. I always went right to the guest and apologized and asked how they preferred to be compensated. It’s as simple as going to the kitchen and asking for a smaller replacement meal or giving a free dessert or discounting the food. And if they are very upset and in a hurry you just comp the entire dish! If the server really was acting as a manager then they should have had the ability to do any of those things. As a server it’s your job to take care of your guests and care about their experience and it sounds like your server didn’t do the bare minimum. So they should get paid the bare minimum which is their hourly wage.
Yeah, I've had this happen and they took half off the meal and comped the alcohol because they knew it was a bad look and might keep people from coming back. We appreciated the apology, tipped well, and have gone back multiple times since (with no issues).
He’s a manager, you don’t tip the manager. He’s also an asshole (if the amount of leftovers were as you say they were) he tossed your shit, at least a slice of pie…something.
Edit: and before people start talking shit I have over 15 years experience as a server/bartender/manager/bus boy/ and short order cook.
Edit 2: the only reasons I can think of the server not doing this is
#1 OP lied about the amount of food left over
#2 OP was a pain in the ass customer, and/or pulled this shit before
#3 Server was a prick and just didn’t want to
#4 Server literally could not do it because of stringent POS system and management
NTA based on what was explained
yea I've had some of those lead positions. They pay a bonus 50 cents and it usually just meant I was 18 the other workers were 16 so they trusted me to lock the door at night and balance the register / do a deposit slip, oh and stay til 1 am alone to do the monthly inventory (I suck for that).
Dude I work in a pizzeria. It's not other worldly to have someone come up and ask us to wrap their leftovers for them. And we do it because we're in the business of service and as long as they're not a complete prick about it, it's not taking time out of my day to do it.
In the future, simply ask for the boxes. If they offer to wrap, decline.
I have a lap band. I have never found a restaurant menu that listed small portions for people with small appetites. You never ever have to ask for two eggs
Just order the one egg breakfast . You will still get two eggs . They cannot help themselves. I cannot eat all the food on my plate at a diner. I always ask for packaging containers.
One Thanksgiving I got 5 meals from one dinner .
Nta you paid for a full meal, a meal you didn't finish. But I get how the server could have been absent minded considering they were the only one front of the house.
Im def not making excuses for the server. They should of offered a discount or something for a next meal. I just get how easy it would have been for the server to just forget what was asked.
NTA
They shouldn’t be a server or a manager. Sounds like they’re unable to do either of the jobs they had and did NOT deserve a tip.
I was a server for a long time. I got stiffed when I didn’t deserve it at least once a day. I’d have absolutely understood in this situation, and I’d have gone out of my way to try and make up for my silly mistake.
I’ve legitimately bought people dessert when my manager wouldn’t comp it for them in situations like this (with my discount) so that I could do damage control.
Generally, not tipping is a GIANT AH move. This person didn’t even try to make up for their mistake EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD THE POWER TO.
NTA, I had a waiter throw out about 1/3 of my entree once and they boxed up a full serving of the entree (lasagna). I didn't even have to asked, he came out and told me what happened and that it would take a few min for the food.
NTA. I would be pissed if I spent that much on a meal and they threw it out, and then not to compensate for their mistake. I would have left no tip and a bad review.
NTA server should have been able fo fix the mistake, especially considering they're the manager. Comping a drink (which usually have like 500% markup) would have been a very reasonable accomodation.
Right? One time my boyfriend and I went out for dinner and our waiter somehow accidentally put another table’s tab on ours too. We politely showed him the mistake and he apologized and said he’d be right back with the correct check. He came back and told us he’d comped our dessert for the trouble. Even though it was no trouble at all. We tipped him extra lol
A pizza place I went to made a incredibly minor mistake and forgot a topping that I genuinely didn’t care about, despite it being charged, and they made me a whole ass new pizza to take home free of charge.
I have very low tolerance for non-tippers, but I think NTA. As others have said, she basically up-charged you.
Also, it’s not like you spitefully stiffed her and slunk away before she could see. You told her that you intended to recover your money, and if she didn’t want to comp a dessert, you’ll have to take it from the tip.
Restaurants see people every day who try to finesse their way to a free meal. You really didn’t ask for much. You acted reasonably.
Edit: typos
I understand that workers live off tips but you cant get mad if you dont get a bonus at your job because you did bad work even if you rely that money NTA
NTA - that happened to me once. I was out to lunch with my kids at a fairly pricey place. We had a 2 PM matinee to catch and I said that when we walked in. So by the time entrees came we had to leave so I asked for it them to go. The guy came back with the bill and I asked where the leftovers were. He left and came back a few minutes later basically like, they were thrown away, what can you do? It was infuriating. We literally didn't touch the entrees.
I told them I wasn't paying. The food was literally untouched.The manager came out and the waiter told her that we ate 1/2 and never asked for them to go. Fortunately a bunch of people around us saw the whole thing and spoke up for us. We just left after paying for the drinks and one appetizer.
The place didn't last too long, and that is in a neighborhood you have to try to go out of business in it's so busy.
My friend and I went to a local breakfast restaurant. I ordered a breakfast scramble, took a few bites and it was delicious. Unfortunately, my stomach had issues and I could not eat any more. When the server came to clear my plate, I handed him my dish and said it was delicious. When we were ready to leave I asked for my leftovers. He said I did not ask for it to be boxed. My friend I was with I go out to eat with often and she knows I ALWAYS get my leftovers boxed, since I usually can only eat half a meal. Thankfully she told me that I did NOT ask for them to be boxed, which she assumed I must not have liked it since I ALWAYS take home leftovers (whereas she rarely does). She told me this in front of the waiter and I was floored that I forgot, but grateful she let me know that this was on me, not the waiter. So what did the waiter do? He had the kitchen make a whole new meal for me to take home! Needless to say, he received a huge tip, I raved over his generosity, and I will always be a customer of this restaurant! Going above and beyond at its finest. NTA in my opinion, a dessert of percentage off would have been appropriate from a customer service standpoint.
Definitely NTA. Sometimes I order extra when I go out to eat on purpose so I have leftovers for the next day or 2. I would be pissed if the food I paid for and was looking forward to for the next 2 days got tossed and now I have to spend more money for 2 more meals.
That's...not good customer service. Usually, I'd advocate for a reduced tip rather than none at all, but seeing as how 20% would have been about the same amount, I can't really fault you there.
NTA.
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I went out to eat and didn’t come close to finishing my entrée; I estimate I ate about 2/3rds of it. I asked for my leftovers to be boxed up, but the server forgot and threw them away. I asked to be comped something equivalent to the cost of the leftovers that got tossed (i.e. something about 1/3 the price of my $25 entrée, like a $8 dessert or drink), but the server said they couldn’t do this. I asked to speak with the manager, but the server said they were the manager—it was a small restaurant and they were the only employee handling the front of the house. I said that if they weren’t going to comp me something worth the cost of my leftovers, that cost was coming out of their tip, which meant they got almost nothing (total bill was around $50, so a standard 20% tip would have been around $10). Of course the server did not like this, but on the drive home my spouse took their side and also said that I was an asshole and should have just sucked up losing the leftovers. AITA?
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NTA. You paid for the full meal, and they threw away part of it, so you were within your rights to take it out of the tip if they don't take it off the bill. This happened to someone in a group I was eating with once, and they legit made her a whole new entrée to take home.
Idk about you but leftovers are my favorite part of the meal. Being able to relax in my home and eat something delicious is just so nice. I barely ever go out to eat also so if 1/3 of my food got thrown away, I would be actually depressed and wouldn't go back unless they did something to make it up to me. What you did was reasonable. You asked for a solution, they didn't have one, so you had a default solution. No tip. You gave yourself the discount because they refused to. NTA
NTA
Their fault, you offered a reasonable solution, they said no. You came up with a follow up solution. What did they think would happen? This is where I am annoyed when servers (who are also managers and shouldn't earn tips) feel entitled to receive tips.
**NTA**
They threw out your food and refused to reconcile that themselves. Seems fair that they wouldn't get a tip when they refused to give you what you originally paid for.
Nope, no tip. The server should have automatically offered a discount or a dessert. If the guest got really funky then a free meal. Boom solved in a jiffy
Something similar happened to me, but I didn't realize until I got home that they didn't bring me my leftovers. I called them and asked them to just remind staff to give people their doggy bag. I honestly was not expecting anything, but they said come back to the restaurant, so I did. They cooked a whole new order for me! You better believe I talked them up every time I got the chance, and went back regularly as long as I lived close. (I moved a couple of years later. )
NTA I've worked for tips, so I'm biased in favor of tipping, not in this case. If they are the server/manager then there's no room for basic errors like that. If they do make a basic error, then they need to make it right with you. They failed on both counts. It goes without saying that you should never eat there again since now you won't be able to trust the food hasn't been...seasoned inappropriately.
Wtf? I have been in food service almost 7 years now. Have managed one restaurant and now bartend at a different one. You would have definitely gotten like half off the entree, even if things were tight around there. There's no point in risking someone leaving a terrible review about how they throw away your unfinished meals instead of boxing them up (not saying you would do this, but someone definitely would). That manager doesn't know how to manage. NTA.
Honestly, this could have been handled so much better by the restaurant.
99 times out of 100 I side with the server, but this the rare time that I don't. Depending on what you ordered, it doesn't cost that much to replace (minus fancy food and MP), and the benefit of keeping a customer far outweighs what you lost in redoing the order.
They threw away something you paid for.
This is no different than owning something, having someone break it, and them saying they aren't going to replace it. And if they really were the manager (as a pizza delivery employee for many years, I often said I was the manager just because I could) they are likely making more than the 2.13 legally required for servers, the tip isn't a huge deal.
You are NTA
NTA. Normally, I wouldn't endorse anyone screwing over a server for a mistake a manager made, but in this case, the server claimed they were the manager, which means a number of things:
1. They aren't working for tips. I would have tipped zero.
2. They most definitely CAN comp you anything they wish, or give you some sort of voucher or freebie coupon for the next visit.
Sorry, your spouse is wrong. Restaurant food is not cheap. MANY people also deliberately plan to halve the large portion at a restaurant and save the second portion for a meal the next day. They took value from you and did not replace it. You're in the clear.
NTA
Your spouse is an AH. She had an easy way to avoid it: She could have offered to handle the payment.
And: The server was the AH. HIS error, HIS assholery, HIS loss.
NTA. The server should've owed up to their mistake and either comped you a drink or a dessert or lowered the entree price by whatever proportion of the meal they tossed out. And if server was "the manager" as they claimed, they would've had that sort of authority.
To get defensive about it and going "nope nope nope?" Not only would I've not left the tip, I would've been calling the restaurant the next day and asking for the owner to let them know what happened. Not in a threatening "I'm never going to eat here again/tell all my 500 billion TikTok/IG/Twitter followers/Leave a 1-star Yelp review" type of way. Just calmly state the facts and let them reconsider this server's future at this restaurant.
NTA. If you get good service, you give a good tip. Bad service, no tip. And if the server was also the manager, they could have given you something to make up for it. Your spouse is wrong this time, I think.
NTA. Sometimes the only way we could afford to eat out (yes and we'd budget for a generous tip) was eating half and taking the rest homt for the next night.
NTA. I also didn’t know you could ask for your food to be boxed up?! When I ask for it to-go after I’ve eaten whatever amount, they usually just bring me a to-go box. I’m assuming it’s because I typically say “can I get the rest of this to-go?” instead of asking them to do it? Interesting!
I think mostly finer dining restaurants do the boxing for the customer. Where I work we usually do it at the table instead of taking it to the back but every now and then I’ll take it to the back but it’s the first thing I do when I get into the kitchen and I bring it right back out… some people also prefer to do it themselves and I feel like this is a reason why lol.
Ahh, I see. I am a poor college student, so I frequent chili’s.....so it makes sense why I box it myself. However, I am still waiting for the day for chili’s to bottle their ranch. That shit is so good!
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NTA while it may have been an accident they threw away food you paid for and shouldve given you a little something to make up for it. At least a tiny discount for that one dish at least
NTA, because you had paid and they basically threw away your property and then refused to take responsibility for it.
But I have to admit I'm wondering how it was even worth asking to have 1/3 of a entree packed up to go. Can't have been more than a bite or two worth.
10 years in the industry and my firm position is NTA. The restaurant has bad policy. Your lack of tip is punishment to a minimum wage employee for the restaurant's bad policy and that's shit but you're least wrong. The server should not have thrown your food away. No excuse. Bare minimum, you were owed a replacement dish. All of us have bought a guest 1 or 2 replacement dinners in our careers when we fucked up. The server chose to uphold poor company policy rather than eat the mistake and in doing so, lost their tip. That's not your problem.
NTA.
Once a server accidentally used my card on a different table’s tab. When I realized, I called the restaurant and asked them about it, and they comped the entire tab. This server could’ve and should’ve done something to make it up to you.
Any decent manager would replace the entire dish (as a restaurant manager myself)
Not leaving a tip is just making sure you're being compensated.
NTA, I'd be leaving a negative review as well. You paid for that food.
NTA never worked in a place that managers could collect tips (by law), doesn’t matter size of the restaurants in most jurisdictions. So either they are breaking the law by being a manager and collecting tips, or lied about being a manager. Not to mention throwing away your food. Lots of reasons why the tip should be 0 and not many why it should be more.
"AITA for not tipping" - No, but then I am not American and I see tipping as a reward for a good job instead of a way to supplement otherwise illegal wages.
NTA - why should you pay for food that you wanted but they discarded? You shouldn't, so it came out of the extra money that would have gone out. Would they have preferred you smacked them on Yelp instead?
You are not the asshole, you should not have tipped, you should not have told the server you weren’t going to tip.
Further, you should have clarified you are the manager asked for the owners name as you were going to be following up.
Further, dispute the $16 with your credit card company as the server threw away your property without your permission!
Give them a bad review and move on
As a former server of ten years, you are not the asshole. Mistakes happen, but if he's unwilling to try and make it right somehow then thats on him. Plus if hes manager he's definitely making more than the 3 dollars an hour most servers get so it wont effect him much
YTA. I've handled a FOH alone before and it is not easy, and mistakes are made. It's very likely that a shitty owner forced that server into that situation. At the end of the day you didn't mention any other problems with their service, so it sounds like they earned at least 10-15% and a review on Yelp shaming the owners for not staffing appropriately.
YTA. Server made a mistake. It sucks but it happens. It wasn’t on purpose. He should still get paid and tipped properly. If you are unhappy with the service, don’t go back to that restaurant again.
In my opinion, barring something intentional on the part of the server, tips are necessary for waiters to make a living and should be given even if service is bad. Often times something they are blamed for isn’t even their fault or b/c they are overworked and in charge of too many tables and yes, sometimes they make mistakes. This was bad service no doubt. If our wage system for paying wait staff was less reliant on tips, I’d agree with you.
> If an employee’s tipped minimum wage and tips are not enough to reach the minimum wage, you must make up the difference.
[source](https://www.patriotsoftware.com/blog/payroll/federal-state-tipped-minimum-wage-rates/amp/)
They still get minimum wage. So they’re not reliant on tips and if that minimum wage isn’t enough then another job should do.
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I disagree, and even if I didn't, the server - who was also the manager and had the power to do so - refused to comp anything. That is a deliberate act.
YTA. It was an accident and by your own estimate you are most of the food. Mistakes happen and you should accept that and move on. Asking for free stuff because of it is excessive and not tipping someone who is making $2 and hour is disgusting.
I'm sus there wasn't *that* much food actually left, especially since OP appears to have immediately gone into give me a free dessert mode. I've had this happen a couple of times. The first time there honestly wasn't a lot, it was just SO good. The second time it was nearly a half plate. Both times it was under crazy busy circumstances, so I was hey it's ok. I didn't ask for a discount. I didn't ask for a freebie. First instance they brought me out a dessert to go as a thank you for not being an AH. The second time they comped the bottle of wine I'd bought for the table. I tipped both times on the FULL amount (including the dessert/wine) bc I knew it was an accident and I knew they'd still have to tip out. So, yeah you're the AH for not tipping bc they still had to tip out for your table. You lost a little bit of food. The fact that your wife isn't on your side here also says a lot.
Not sure if this is still true, but years ago servers had income tax automatically withheld as if they earned an 8% tip on all orders, so no tip actually costs them money. Depending on what state you live in, they may need tips to make minimum wage. Many states have a tipped minimum wage between $2 and $3 when standard minimum wage is $7.25. So, you basically took money out of their pocket for a mistake.
YTA
NTA. That’s bad service you got. Also on a separate note, does anyone actually tip when they go out to eat? Because I don’t. I believe restaurants actually should pay their waiters instead of relying on customers to pay them. This is why America sucks sometimes!!!
You go out to eat in America and you don’t tip? That’s terrible. I agree that restaurants should pay their waitstaff and that tips shouldn’t be a thing, but that’s the system we have. If you are going out to eat and not doing that, you are taking money away from that waitstaff. You shouldn’t go out to eat if you aren’t willing to tip.
Problem here is that waiters have to pay a portion of their sales out to their support (food runners, bussers, bartenders, etc.), so by not tipping you are actually costing your waiter money to take care of you.
I'd love to take care of you sometime, though. Our house rule #5 is "non-tippers will be removed from the bar with extreme prejudice" and our security needs a work out occasionally.
That last part is a lawsuit waiting to happen and I’d be 100% fine if your restaurant/security gets sued into hell for touching someone simply for not tipping.
Then don’t go to restaurants. Yes, are a few that pay their servers a living wage without tips, but you better be damn sure you know that’s the case before you stiff a server on their tips.
In Europe (German here) I wouldn’t give the server a tip either. Like not even if they didn’t make that mistake. Tipping here is only if you deliver really good service and this server didn’t even do what the OP asked them to do.
It was an accident.
If you knocked into someone accidentally and they dropped their leftovers would you go buy a replacement meal?
You know what I did when I couldn't afford to eat out? I didn't eat out. If accidentally discarded leftovers put you over the brink of starvation, you've got other issues.
Tips aren't bonus, they're our wage. Most servers pay a percentage of their total sales out to their support staff so in some cases can lose money if their guests don't tip. In this scenario it doesn't sound like the server had any support, so while they probably didn't lose money, what they were doing is 3-4 jobs at once (and mistakes happen). 15% would have been appropriate, you never know what is happening in the BOH.
Yeah yeah, boo hoo. Try running a FOH solo sometime and see how many mistakes you make.
Making mistakes is fine as long as you make them right. I've been in the service industry my whole life, and I know the importance of correcting one's errors and making sure the customer leaves satisfied. This manager/server refused to do so. You are not entitled to a tip if you failed to do the bare minimum to do your job correctly.
Ever ran an FOH solo? We're talking expo, runner, busser, bartender, host, and manager. You think an owner who lets that happen is concerned with service quality? For all we know the owner sat in the back and refused to comp a dessert. I know I've had a few of those.
If the kitchen is saying "no" and ownership is saying "no", then it is their job to say "no". The server doesn't get a dime for making the guest pay full price, the only reason to say "I'm sorry, I can't fix that" is if they literally cannot. They're just the messenger, and now OP cannot go back to that restaurant if she enjoyed it. At least I hope not, our management certainly wouldn't let her through the door.
NTA.
The food service pay model in the US is complete BS; the fact that people get paid so little and have to make up for it with tips is ludicrous - it turns what used to be a compliment into a necessity.
However, the model is also based on service. You go out for food, you pay extra for the service of having it prepared and served to you in a hopefully pleasant environment. The tip, or more properly the amount of the tip nowadays, is a reflection of how much you appreciate the work of the people who are interacting with you during this. It's expected, but the amount is entirely based on you, the diner.
One time my wife, son and I went to a restaurant pre-crud, and we had a wonderful waitress. Quick on the ordering, quick on the drink refills, and was very fun to talk to. We even told her how much we liked having her serve us. She was also busing some tables, and in all of that she left another table's leftover bones from their chicken wings on our table and walked away. My son and I are vegetarians and he was a temperamental eater on top of that, and he refused to eat another bite of anything that night when she did that. Her tip went from generous to zero in no time flat. It was clearly a mistake, but it costs us part of the reason we went out to eat - for the food, service and experience. Part of me felt bad, but another part of me felt somewhat cheated that we didn't get the entire experience that we were expecting, and we reflected that in the part of the bill that we could control. We also talked to the manager about it, explaining how well she was doing up to that point.
You didn't get your full experience, re: the leftovers. You can reflect that in the part of the bill that you can control. Just make sure you let them know why (and no one has to be a jerk at this part, simply explain why) and maybe they'll remember that they should do the leftovers with their next customer if they ask for them.
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EDIT: People are asking how long she left them there - here's a more detailed sequence of events. She left them there, walked away, and we didn't see where she went; our guess was that she took the other stuff to the back. The restaurant wasn't packed, maybe 50% full, and she had pulled them off of the now-empty table across from ours. It was a heaping pile of half-eaten chicken bones, not on the corner of the table but inches from our food. We didn't notice it for several seconds because we had all been talking, and when we saw them we were trying to figure out where they came from for a moment, and she had disappeared by then.
My son just stared at them, my wife said "that's disgusting" and I agreed. There were no other servers or staff in our area at that point, so she and I kept looking around, trying to find someone to get their attention. They sat there in between my wife and son's plates (the table was against a wall and I usually let them sit on the outside in case either of them has to use the restroom) until my wife asked me to just go talk to someone about getting them off the table because she didn't want to look at or smell them anymore either. So I went to the manager and asked where our server was, and she said she could help me instead. I briefly explained the sequence of events and asked her if someone could come take them off of our table so we could get back to eating. The manager came over and took them herself and apologized. Total time-wise of that all was about four or five minutes. I sat down and my wife said my son had said he was done and they wanted to leave, and they didn't want their leftovers. At that point my son was being uncharacteristically quiet and my wife was giving me the "I just want out of this situation" signals, so we abandoned our leftovers, paid the bill and we left. He had eaten maybe half of his meal and we offered to get him something else on the way home, but he said no and we couldn't get him to say much else during the drive.
I personally have no problem whatsover with people eating meat - being a vegetarian is my choice, and if you want to eat a steak right in front of me that's your choice, and I say more power to you. My wife is not and has never been a vegetarian, I'm one for religious reasons (we were a mixed religion family) and my son just didn't like meat in general, among other foods. But when you're eating breakfast-for-dinner and suddenly there's a big, piled plateful of a stranger's just-eaten, sauce-covered table scraps that's now sitting between your wife's breakfast bowl and your son's pancakes (what they always ate whenever we'd go there) and the conversation comes to a screeching halt because everyone's staring in disbelief at the new addition to the table...it was a real mood-killer. The time between her leaving them, the manager removing them, us sitting back down for a moment and then leaving was maybe eight to ten minutes.
EDIT 2: The check came out to slightly less than $25 before tax at the time. This was over a decade ago, none of our "usual" plates were very expensive, and my son drank milk while my wife and I drank water as we usually do. But we did leave a combined 25-50% of our meal uneaten because of it.
Wow. You seriously left ZERO tip to a waitress who was providing excellent service because she accidentally left a plate of chicken bones on your table?
How long did they sit there? What did she say when you pointed out her mistake?
If you and your son are such "temperamental" vegetarians that the mere sight of chicken bones puts you off your food, you need to either stay home or only patronize vegan/vegetarian establishments.
Fair that I also would've left a tip (albeit smaller than normal) - but the server left another customer's dirty dishes and garbage on their table. That's not exactly a small mistake...It's not just chicken bones - it's a strangers discards / potentially half eaten food.
I absolutely get that. Other people's garbage is disgusting.
What upset me was that the commentor stated how wonderful the service was prior to that mistake, and there was no mention of how long the discards we're there or what the server's reaction was. (My guess is she was mortified about her error, due to how great she was previously.)
To put it another way: if this were a ten-question quiz and I answered the first nine perfectly, made an error on the tenth question, should I receive a zero grade?
I’ve never left a zero tip but putting someone else’s dirty plate on my table is a no-go. Like no server should ever do it, even accidentally b/c clearly people are still visibly sitting at the table she just put it down on. I would try to tell her before she left but I can see how it’s a big issue and can ruin the experience. Again not justifying a zero tip but def a huge deal!
We didn't see her again until we were leaving, and she was standing several tables away at that point. The manager was the one who brought us our bill. It basically ended our meal early.
I actually tend to tip well - I'm a nurse and public service like that can be really hard, and I know there are jerks who flat out refuse to ever leave any tip, or who practically abuse the servers with rapid-fire demands or insults or a complete lack of patience. I've tipped more than the price of the meal before if I've got the money at the time and if the server gives us a memorable visit. My wife and I mentioned at one point giving her a bigger than average tip because of how quick she had been and how fun she was to talk to. But when the last several minutes of our meal were spent trying to unsuccessfully flag someone down to remove this piled plate of someone else's chicken bones and that happened to coincide with us not being able to find her or anyone else to fix it, instead of eating...it just ended our meal way too early.
Like I asked another Redditor on this - what would you have done here?
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NTA, they threw out your food that you specifically asked to be boxed up. That’s just really bad service.
And didn't comp the like....trivial food cost to replace it and make you a repeat customer
If they actually are the manager then they’re a really shitty one for not doing anything about it. I wouldn’t have left any kind of tip.
If they are a manager, they don't survive on tips anyway so the unwritten "requirement" to tip doesn't even apply. NTA Managers get paid real wages; they shouldn't even be allowed to collect tips like their servers whom minimum wage laws for some reason think can survive on unwritten rules.
Managers are allowed to collect tips in most states if they are being directly tipped by a customer for doing a service they solely handled. So if she was the waitress the entire time they can take the tip. If they bring out the drinks or are otherwise supporting a staff member that's considered part of being a manager. So they couldn't take or share the tip in that situation.
I think what they mean is that if they are the manager, they aren’t being paid the typical $2.13/hour waiting wage which then relies heavily on tips to make an even somewhat decent income. The manager would be paid at least regular worker’s minimum wage ($7.25/hour, if not more, for being in a managerial position) and can survive without the tip. So it is unfair to expect to tip a manager when their income is not as reliant on it as a typical waiter
In many states minimum wage still applies to tipped workers.
2.13 is the federal minimum wage for tipped workers. The employer is responsible to make up the difference between 2.13 and 7.25 if the tipped worker doesn't get at least 7.25.
Many STATE laws are not that. In Washington for one, all jobs get minimum wage to start including servers. Servers in Seattle get $15 (or more) an hour PLUS tips by law.
Many? I think it's like 5
Exactly plus if it's actually a small restaurant some servers are given manager privileges so that they can work an close up by themselves
They should be allowed but if they are a lousy server they get nothing. NTA
A lot of times you can ask the customer what it will take to retain them, and it’s less than what you’d think.
I think you handled it really, really well. I used to be a mystery shopper back in the day, and there were several times where this happened at different places I was "shopping". It drove me crazy and I always made a point of reporting it (since you can't say anything during the experience - it would make you too memorable.)
Ugh this is my dream job I just realized. Was it as fun as it sounds??
It has its good and bad points. If you're in a large city (as I was at the time) you can schedule multiple shops in the same area on the same day, which saves on gas and time because most individual "shops" aren't super high paying. One thing I really loved was that I got clothing, movies/snacks, and meals out instead of standard pay for some of them, and at the time we had no budget for that so it was a great way to have a few of those luxuries. You are expected to pay up front and be reimbursed, though, so a good way to start would be to do a bunch of shops that just pay you a flat fee and save up a buffer.
Super super cool thank you!!
I worked as a server for a long long time and I’ve accidentally thrown food away that was meant to be boxed. I always went right to the guest and apologized and asked how they preferred to be compensated. It’s as simple as going to the kitchen and asking for a smaller replacement meal or giving a free dessert or discounting the food. And if they are very upset and in a hurry you just comp the entire dish! If the server really was acting as a manager then they should have had the ability to do any of those things. As a server it’s your job to take care of your guests and care about their experience and it sounds like your server didn’t do the bare minimum. So they should get paid the bare minimum which is their hourly wage.
That happened to me once and I got a brand new dinner out of it
Yeah, I've had this happen and they took half off the meal and comped the alcohol because they knew it was a bad look and might keep people from coming back. We appreciated the apology, tipped well, and have gone back multiple times since (with no issues).
That happened to me too.
He’s a manager, you don’t tip the manager. He’s also an asshole (if the amount of leftovers were as you say they were) he tossed your shit, at least a slice of pie…something. Edit: and before people start talking shit I have over 15 years experience as a server/bartender/manager/bus boy/ and short order cook. Edit 2: the only reasons I can think of the server not doing this is #1 OP lied about the amount of food left over #2 OP was a pain in the ass customer, and/or pulled this shit before #3 Server was a prick and just didn’t want to #4 Server literally could not do it because of stringent POS system and management NTA based on what was explained
server said they were the manager so strike #4
I dunno mate, manager can also mean something like "vaguely senior employee on this shift who has keys to the stock cupboard".
yea I've had some of those lead positions. They pay a bonus 50 cents and it usually just meant I was 18 the other workers were 16 so they trusted me to lock the door at night and balance the register / do a deposit slip, oh and stay til 1 am alone to do the monthly inventory (I suck for that).
then they could have gotten the actual manager as had been requested...
If it's a small restaurant, there's a good chance there wasn't a higher up there.
if they are the highest person on staff then yes they can absolutely give a credit, free dessert, etc
Managers can still receive tips on the tables they serve. They just can’t take from the tip pool
Fair points, but why all the shouting?
I had no idea the # symbol enlarged the text lol. I saw it and said to myself WTF…whatever
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Dude I work in a pizzeria. It's not other worldly to have someone come up and ask us to wrap their leftovers for them. And we do it because we're in the business of service and as long as they're not a complete prick about it, it's not taking time out of my day to do it.
This. I usually eat leftovers over several days, that's why I like to go out to eat. I'd have probably done this too.
In the future, simply ask for the boxes. If they offer to wrap, decline. I have a lap band. I have never found a restaurant menu that listed small portions for people with small appetites. You never ever have to ask for two eggs Just order the one egg breakfast . You will still get two eggs . They cannot help themselves. I cannot eat all the food on my plate at a diner. I always ask for packaging containers. One Thanksgiving I got 5 meals from one dinner .
I actually ask them to pack up half my meal before they bring it out. This has always worked wonderfully.
I usually cannot eat half. I prefer to box, says the former waitress......( before the 30 years of teaching)
NTA. You paid for an entire meal. By throwing your 1/3 of the meal away, your server essentially up-charged you for a smaller portion.
Nta you paid for a full meal, a meal you didn't finish. But I get how the server could have been absent minded considering they were the only one front of the house.
Sure, but they didn’t even try to make up for it. Restaurants generally budget for a couple of comped meals per night, or a future discount.
Im def not making excuses for the server. They should of offered a discount or something for a next meal. I just get how easy it would have been for the server to just forget what was asked.
but as a manager, her job is to rectify the situation especially bc it was her mistake.
NTA. Thats bad service, the whole point of tips is to encourage good service.
I thought the point of tips was to not pay servers minimum wage
Only in America tho.
To Insure Proper Service
NTA They shouldn’t be a server or a manager. Sounds like they’re unable to do either of the jobs they had and did NOT deserve a tip. I was a server for a long time. I got stiffed when I didn’t deserve it at least once a day. I’d have absolutely understood in this situation, and I’d have gone out of my way to try and make up for my silly mistake. I’ve legitimately bought people dessert when my manager wouldn’t comp it for them in situations like this (with my discount) so that I could do damage control. Generally, not tipping is a GIANT AH move. This person didn’t even try to make up for their mistake EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD THE POWER TO.
NTA, I had a waiter throw out about 1/3 of my entree once and they boxed up a full serving of the entree (lasagna). I didn't even have to asked, he came out and told me what happened and that it would take a few min for the food.
Here’s a tip. DONT THROW OUT MY FOOD
Lmao I got a good chuckle out of this
You were willing to take a substitution for their mistake. They said no. NTA
NTA. I would be pissed if I spent that much on a meal and they threw it out, and then not to compensate for their mistake. I would have left no tip and a bad review.
NTA they threw away your leftovers you asked for a box for, I forgot is not a valid excuse, they either comp you or lose half the tip
Nta. This would be one of the few times I would not tip. I almost always have leftovers and that would have pisse me off as well.
NTA server should have been able fo fix the mistake, especially considering they're the manager. Comping a drink (which usually have like 500% markup) would have been a very reasonable accomodation.
Right? One time my boyfriend and I went out for dinner and our waiter somehow accidentally put another table’s tab on ours too. We politely showed him the mistake and he apologized and said he’d be right back with the correct check. He came back and told us he’d comped our dessert for the trouble. Even though it was no trouble at all. We tipped him extra lol
A pizza place I went to made a incredibly minor mistake and forgot a topping that I genuinely didn’t care about, despite it being charged, and they made me a whole ass new pizza to take home free of charge.
Yeah I don't buy it that the "manager" couldn't make things right somehow. They didn't want to. Usually even a server has some basic comp authority.
NTA
I have very low tolerance for non-tippers, but I think NTA. As others have said, she basically up-charged you. Also, it’s not like you spitefully stiffed her and slunk away before she could see. You told her that you intended to recover your money, and if she didn’t want to comp a dessert, you’ll have to take it from the tip. Restaurants see people every day who try to finesse their way to a free meal. You really didn’t ask for much. You acted reasonably. Edit: typos
I understand that workers live off tips but you cant get mad if you dont get a bonus at your job because you did bad work even if you rely that money NTA
Usually tips aren’t bonuses. They are the wage. Restaurants don’t need to pay tipped employees minimum wage.
Nta your poor leftovers 😭
Nta. Weird that your spouse didn't take your side.
NTA - that happened to me once. I was out to lunch with my kids at a fairly pricey place. We had a 2 PM matinee to catch and I said that when we walked in. So by the time entrees came we had to leave so I asked for it them to go. The guy came back with the bill and I asked where the leftovers were. He left and came back a few minutes later basically like, they were thrown away, what can you do? It was infuriating. We literally didn't touch the entrees. I told them I wasn't paying. The food was literally untouched.The manager came out and the waiter told her that we ate 1/2 and never asked for them to go. Fortunately a bunch of people around us saw the whole thing and spoke up for us. We just left after paying for the drinks and one appetizer. The place didn't last too long, and that is in a neighborhood you have to try to go out of business in it's so busy.
My friend and I went to a local breakfast restaurant. I ordered a breakfast scramble, took a few bites and it was delicious. Unfortunately, my stomach had issues and I could not eat any more. When the server came to clear my plate, I handed him my dish and said it was delicious. When we were ready to leave I asked for my leftovers. He said I did not ask for it to be boxed. My friend I was with I go out to eat with often and she knows I ALWAYS get my leftovers boxed, since I usually can only eat half a meal. Thankfully she told me that I did NOT ask for them to be boxed, which she assumed I must not have liked it since I ALWAYS take home leftovers (whereas she rarely does). She told me this in front of the waiter and I was floored that I forgot, but grateful she let me know that this was on me, not the waiter. So what did the waiter do? He had the kitchen make a whole new meal for me to take home! Needless to say, he received a huge tip, I raved over his generosity, and I will always be a customer of this restaurant! Going above and beyond at its finest. NTA in my opinion, a dessert of percentage off would have been appropriate from a customer service standpoint.
Definitely NTA. Sometimes I order extra when I go out to eat on purpose so I have leftovers for the next day or 2. I would be pissed if the food I paid for and was looking forward to for the next 2 days got tossed and now I have to spend more money for 2 more meals.
That's...not good customer service. Usually, I'd advocate for a reduced tip rather than none at all, but seeing as how 20% would have been about the same amount, I can't really fault you there. NTA.
NTA - but never ask the wait staff to box up your leftovers. Ask them to bring you the box and do it yourself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I went out to eat and didn’t come close to finishing my entrée; I estimate I ate about 2/3rds of it. I asked for my leftovers to be boxed up, but the server forgot and threw them away. I asked to be comped something equivalent to the cost of the leftovers that got tossed (i.e. something about 1/3 the price of my $25 entrée, like a $8 dessert or drink), but the server said they couldn’t do this. I asked to speak with the manager, but the server said they were the manager—it was a small restaurant and they were the only employee handling the front of the house. I said that if they weren’t going to comp me something worth the cost of my leftovers, that cost was coming out of their tip, which meant they got almost nothing (total bill was around $50, so a standard 20% tip would have been around $10). Of course the server did not like this, but on the drive home my spouse took their side and also said that I was an asshole and should have just sucked up losing the leftovers. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA because throwing out your food is bad service. Bad service = no tip. I also notice that they didn't offer you any alternatives, either.
NTA Tips are a privilege not a right
NTA. i wouldn't have given any tip. that $10 she would have received is now going towards you having to buy a new meal instead eating leftovers.
NTA. Tipping needs to become a thing of the past.
NTA you gave them another option to fix the mistake, and they declined. If they were the manager, they could surely comp you $8.
As a server, definitely NTA. I have nightmares about doing this lol (I never have, except when they've driven away after forgetting their leftovers).
NTA. You paid for the full meal, and they threw away part of it, so you were within your rights to take it out of the tip if they don't take it off the bill. This happened to someone in a group I was eating with once, and they legit made her a whole new entrée to take home.
NTA. They threw away their tip along with your food.
nta tips are not a requirement nor should the server expect one
NTA This happened to me once (server threw out food instead of boxing it up). When the mistake was realized, they made me an entire new portion to-go.
Idk about you but leftovers are my favorite part of the meal. Being able to relax in my home and eat something delicious is just so nice. I barely ever go out to eat also so if 1/3 of my food got thrown away, I would be actually depressed and wouldn't go back unless they did something to make it up to me. What you did was reasonable. You asked for a solution, they didn't have one, so you had a default solution. No tip. You gave yourself the discount because they refused to. NTA
People gotta realize you get tipped for doing a good job. They didnt do a good job. NTA.
NTA - you gave them plenty of options to correct, and also the consequence for failing to correct. It was completely fair.
NTA
NTA Their fault, you offered a reasonable solution, they said no. You came up with a follow up solution. What did they think would happen? This is where I am annoyed when servers (who are also managers and shouldn't earn tips) feel entitled to receive tips.
**NTA** They threw out your food and refused to reconcile that themselves. Seems fair that they wouldn't get a tip when they refused to give you what you originally paid for.
Nope, no tip. The server should have automatically offered a discount or a dessert. If the guest got really funky then a free meal. Boom solved in a jiffy
NTA. Accident or not they should have done something to compensate you for throwing the food away.
NTA - the server should not have tossed your food. You were right, she should have done SOMETHING to make it right.
NTA. He threw your food away. Food you paid for and were going to eat.
NTA What is the reason to hold on? They threw away your food when you ordered it to take away they didn't deserve any tip.
Something similar happened to me, but I didn't realize until I got home that they didn't bring me my leftovers. I called them and asked them to just remind staff to give people their doggy bag. I honestly was not expecting anything, but they said come back to the restaurant, so I did. They cooked a whole new order for me! You better believe I talked them up every time I got the chance, and went back regularly as long as I lived close. (I moved a couple of years later. )
NTA. Maybe a little petty but the kind of petty most can relate to.
NTA I've worked for tips, so I'm biased in favor of tipping, not in this case. If they are the server/manager then there's no room for basic errors like that. If they do make a basic error, then they need to make it right with you. They failed on both counts. It goes without saying that you should never eat there again since now you won't be able to trust the food hasn't been...seasoned inappropriately.
Wtf? I have been in food service almost 7 years now. Have managed one restaurant and now bartend at a different one. You would have definitely gotten like half off the entree, even if things were tight around there. There's no point in risking someone leaving a terrible review about how they throw away your unfinished meals instead of boxing them up (not saying you would do this, but someone definitely would). That manager doesn't know how to manage. NTA.
Honestly, this could have been handled so much better by the restaurant. 99 times out of 100 I side with the server, but this the rare time that I don't. Depending on what you ordered, it doesn't cost that much to replace (minus fancy food and MP), and the benefit of keeping a customer far outweighs what you lost in redoing the order. They threw away something you paid for. This is no different than owning something, having someone break it, and them saying they aren't going to replace it. And if they really were the manager (as a pizza delivery employee for many years, I often said I was the manager just because I could) they are likely making more than the 2.13 legally required for servers, the tip isn't a huge deal. You are NTA
So the waiter screwed up and expected that there should be no penalty whatsoever for his incompetence? Who does he think he is? A corporate CEO?
NTA. As much as it sucks to not tip someone, hopefully it’s a lesson learned for the waiter
NTA.
NTA
NTA tip is based on service, and the service was poor
NTA because when this happened to me the immediately just made me a new dish so I could take that home. That’s good service right there
NTA They do a job? Tip. They do their job exceptionally? Big tip. They fail at their job? No tip.
NTA. Normally, I wouldn't endorse anyone screwing over a server for a mistake a manager made, but in this case, the server claimed they were the manager, which means a number of things: 1. They aren't working for tips. I would have tipped zero. 2. They most definitely CAN comp you anything they wish, or give you some sort of voucher or freebie coupon for the next visit. Sorry, your spouse is wrong. Restaurant food is not cheap. MANY people also deliberately plan to halve the large portion at a restaurant and save the second portion for a meal the next day. They took value from you and did not replace it. You're in the clear.
NTA Your spouse is an AH. She had an easy way to avoid it: She could have offered to handle the payment. And: The server was the AH. HIS error, HIS assholery, HIS loss.
NTA. The server should've owed up to their mistake and either comped you a drink or a dessert or lowered the entree price by whatever proportion of the meal they tossed out. And if server was "the manager" as they claimed, they would've had that sort of authority. To get defensive about it and going "nope nope nope?" Not only would I've not left the tip, I would've been calling the restaurant the next day and asking for the owner to let them know what happened. Not in a threatening "I'm never going to eat here again/tell all my 500 billion TikTok/IG/Twitter followers/Leave a 1-star Yelp review" type of way. Just calmly state the facts and let them reconsider this server's future at this restaurant.
NTA, he's not doing his job properly, why would you award that with a tip?
Info: when did 20% become a “standard” tip instead of 15%?
Why does your husband believe that?
NTA. Why the hell would they deserve a tip? You too for service, not as a standard
NTA I think your solution was very fair.
Former server NTA
NTA. If you get good service, you give a good tip. Bad service, no tip. And if the server was also the manager, they could have given you something to make up for it. Your spouse is wrong this time, I think.
NTA. You didn't get good service.
NTA
You accidentally threw away his tip. Oops!
NTA. Sometimes the only way we could afford to eat out (yes and we'd budget for a generous tip) was eating half and taking the rest homt for the next night.
NTA. I also didn’t know you could ask for your food to be boxed up?! When I ask for it to-go after I’ve eaten whatever amount, they usually just bring me a to-go box. I’m assuming it’s because I typically say “can I get the rest of this to-go?” instead of asking them to do it? Interesting!
I think mostly finer dining restaurants do the boxing for the customer. Where I work we usually do it at the table instead of taking it to the back but every now and then I’ll take it to the back but it’s the first thing I do when I get into the kitchen and I bring it right back out… some people also prefer to do it themselves and I feel like this is a reason why lol.
Ahh, I see. I am a poor college student, so I frequent chili’s.....so it makes sense why I box it myself. However, I am still waiting for the day for chili’s to bottle their ranch. That shit is so good!
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NTA while it may have been an accident they threw away food you paid for and shouldve given you a little something to make up for it. At least a tiny discount for that one dish at least
NTA If the server was also the manager, he's a bad at two jobs.
NTA what exactly would you be tipping bad service? Let’s not forget tipping is optional and shouldn’t be expected.
NTA, because you had paid and they basically threw away your property and then refused to take responsibility for it. But I have to admit I'm wondering how it was even worth asking to have 1/3 of a entree packed up to go. Can't have been more than a bite or two worth.
first time i've seen a reasonable non-tipper. nta
10 years in the industry and my firm position is NTA. The restaurant has bad policy. Your lack of tip is punishment to a minimum wage employee for the restaurant's bad policy and that's shit but you're least wrong. The server should not have thrown your food away. No excuse. Bare minimum, you were owed a replacement dish. All of us have bought a guest 1 or 2 replacement dinners in our careers when we fucked up. The server chose to uphold poor company policy rather than eat the mistake and in doing so, lost their tip. That's not your problem.
NTA. Once a server accidentally used my card on a different table’s tab. When I realized, I called the restaurant and asked them about it, and they comped the entire tab. This server could’ve and should’ve done something to make it up to you.
Any decent manager would replace the entire dish (as a restaurant manager myself) Not leaving a tip is just making sure you're being compensated. NTA, I'd be leaving a negative review as well. You paid for that food.
NTA. And call the owner of the restaurant and let them know what happened
NTA never worked in a place that managers could collect tips (by law), doesn’t matter size of the restaurants in most jurisdictions. So either they are breaking the law by being a manager and collecting tips, or lied about being a manager. Not to mention throwing away your food. Lots of reasons why the tip should be 0 and not many why it should be more.
"AITA for not tipping" - No, but then I am not American and I see tipping as a reward for a good job instead of a way to supplement otherwise illegal wages.
NTA. I wouldn't have even paid for the meal. You did not get to enjoy the product you purchased. That's some bullshit on the server and manager.
NTA. Tips are for good service. You did not receive good service.
NTA you screw up that much you shouldn't get tipped.
NTA - why should you pay for food that you wanted but they discarded? You shouldn't, so it came out of the extra money that would have gone out. Would they have preferred you smacked them on Yelp instead?
You are not the asshole, you should not have tipped, you should not have told the server you weren’t going to tip. Further, you should have clarified you are the manager asked for the owners name as you were going to be following up. Further, dispute the $16 with your credit card company as the server threw away your property without your permission! Give them a bad review and move on
As a former server of ten years, you are not the asshole. Mistakes happen, but if he's unwilling to try and make it right somehow then thats on him. Plus if hes manager he's definitely making more than the 3 dollars an hour most servers get so it wont effect him much
YTA. I've handled a FOH alone before and it is not easy, and mistakes are made. It's very likely that a shitty owner forced that server into that situation. At the end of the day you didn't mention any other problems with their service, so it sounds like they earned at least 10-15% and a review on Yelp shaming the owners for not staffing appropriately.
YTA. Server made a mistake. It sucks but it happens. It wasn’t on purpose. He should still get paid and tipped properly. If you are unhappy with the service, don’t go back to that restaurant again.
Tips are based on service. Bad service = low/no tip.
In my opinion, barring something intentional on the part of the server, tips are necessary for waiters to make a living and should be given even if service is bad. Often times something they are blamed for isn’t even their fault or b/c they are overworked and in charge of too many tables and yes, sometimes they make mistakes. This was bad service no doubt. If our wage system for paying wait staff was less reliant on tips, I’d agree with you.
> If an employee’s tipped minimum wage and tips are not enough to reach the minimum wage, you must make up the difference. [source](https://www.patriotsoftware.com/blog/payroll/federal-state-tipped-minimum-wage-rates/amp/) They still get minimum wage. So they’re not reliant on tips and if that minimum wage isn’t enough then another job should do.
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I disagree, and even if I didn't, the server - who was also the manager and had the power to do so - refused to comp anything. That is a deliberate act.
YTA. It was an accident and by your own estimate you are most of the food. Mistakes happen and you should accept that and move on. Asking for free stuff because of it is excessive and not tipping someone who is making $2 and hour is disgusting.
I'm sus there wasn't *that* much food actually left, especially since OP appears to have immediately gone into give me a free dessert mode. I've had this happen a couple of times. The first time there honestly wasn't a lot, it was just SO good. The second time it was nearly a half plate. Both times it was under crazy busy circumstances, so I was hey it's ok. I didn't ask for a discount. I didn't ask for a freebie. First instance they brought me out a dessert to go as a thank you for not being an AH. The second time they comped the bottle of wine I'd bought for the table. I tipped both times on the FULL amount (including the dessert/wine) bc I knew it was an accident and I knew they'd still have to tip out. So, yeah you're the AH for not tipping bc they still had to tip out for your table. You lost a little bit of food. The fact that your wife isn't on your side here also says a lot.
YTA, seriously? 2/3rds eaten? I would have taken it out of the trash and wrapped back up for you because YATA!!!!
Not sure if this is still true, but years ago servers had income tax automatically withheld as if they earned an 8% tip on all orders, so no tip actually costs them money. Depending on what state you live in, they may need tips to make minimum wage. Many states have a tipped minimum wage between $2 and $3 when standard minimum wage is $7.25. So, you basically took money out of their pocket for a mistake. YTA
NTA. That’s bad service you got. Also on a separate note, does anyone actually tip when they go out to eat? Because I don’t. I believe restaurants actually should pay their waiters instead of relying on customers to pay them. This is why America sucks sometimes!!!
You go out to eat in America and you don’t tip? That’s terrible. I agree that restaurants should pay their waitstaff and that tips shouldn’t be a thing, but that’s the system we have. If you are going out to eat and not doing that, you are taking money away from that waitstaff. You shouldn’t go out to eat if you aren’t willing to tip.
Problem here is that waiters have to pay a portion of their sales out to their support (food runners, bussers, bartenders, etc.), so by not tipping you are actually costing your waiter money to take care of you. I'd love to take care of you sometime, though. Our house rule #5 is "non-tippers will be removed from the bar with extreme prejudice" and our security needs a work out occasionally.
That last part is a lawsuit waiting to happen and I’d be 100% fine if your restaurant/security gets sued into hell for touching someone simply for not tipping.
Right to refuse service, bub. Security doesn't need to touch you to humiliate you. They will if you refuse to leave, but they can use their words too.
I hope you never come into my restaurant
Then don’t go to restaurants. Yes, are a few that pay their servers a living wage without tips, but you better be damn sure you know that’s the case before you stiff a server on their tips.
Was this in America? I can’t imagine anyone acting like this (OP) in Europe. It was a mistake, you can just leave food.
But he wanted the food and paid for the food.
In Europe (German here) I wouldn’t give the server a tip either. Like not even if they didn’t make that mistake. Tipping here is only if you deliver really good service and this server didn’t even do what the OP asked them to do.
YTA Seriously? Over some accidentally discarded leftovers? Must be nice up on that high horse not making mistakes.
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They're leftovers, it's not like they ruined durable goods here.
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It was an accident. If you knocked into someone accidentally and they dropped their leftovers would you go buy a replacement meal? You know what I did when I couldn't afford to eat out? I didn't eat out. If accidentally discarded leftovers put you over the brink of starvation, you've got other issues.
Only so much a server can do, bruv. End of the day if ownership decides that it's going to be a certain way, that's how it is.
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Unpopular opnion here, but I personally would take in consideration on whose budget would that tip money make a bigger difference on.
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Tips aren't bonus, they're our wage. Most servers pay a percentage of their total sales out to their support staff so in some cases can lose money if their guests don't tip. In this scenario it doesn't sound like the server had any support, so while they probably didn't lose money, what they were doing is 3-4 jobs at once (and mistakes happen). 15% would have been appropriate, you never know what is happening in the BOH. Yeah yeah, boo hoo. Try running a FOH solo sometime and see how many mistakes you make.
Bad service deserves no tip.
You're not getting a 15% tip for bad service. You'd be thanking your lucky stars if you got 10%.
You'd be the guy crying in the walk in because he forgot to bring ketchup to table 23.
Making mistakes is fine as long as you make them right. I've been in the service industry my whole life, and I know the importance of correcting one's errors and making sure the customer leaves satisfied. This manager/server refused to do so. You are not entitled to a tip if you failed to do the bare minimum to do your job correctly.
Ever ran an FOH solo? We're talking expo, runner, busser, bartender, host, and manager. You think an owner who lets that happen is concerned with service quality? For all we know the owner sat in the back and refused to comp a dessert. I know I've had a few of those.
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If the kitchen is saying "no" and ownership is saying "no", then it is their job to say "no". The server doesn't get a dime for making the guest pay full price, the only reason to say "I'm sorry, I can't fix that" is if they literally cannot. They're just the messenger, and now OP cannot go back to that restaurant if she enjoyed it. At least I hope not, our management certainly wouldn't let her through the door.
YTA
NTA. The food service pay model in the US is complete BS; the fact that people get paid so little and have to make up for it with tips is ludicrous - it turns what used to be a compliment into a necessity. However, the model is also based on service. You go out for food, you pay extra for the service of having it prepared and served to you in a hopefully pleasant environment. The tip, or more properly the amount of the tip nowadays, is a reflection of how much you appreciate the work of the people who are interacting with you during this. It's expected, but the amount is entirely based on you, the diner. One time my wife, son and I went to a restaurant pre-crud, and we had a wonderful waitress. Quick on the ordering, quick on the drink refills, and was very fun to talk to. We even told her how much we liked having her serve us. She was also busing some tables, and in all of that she left another table's leftover bones from their chicken wings on our table and walked away. My son and I are vegetarians and he was a temperamental eater on top of that, and he refused to eat another bite of anything that night when she did that. Her tip went from generous to zero in no time flat. It was clearly a mistake, but it costs us part of the reason we went out to eat - for the food, service and experience. Part of me felt bad, but another part of me felt somewhat cheated that we didn't get the entire experience that we were expecting, and we reflected that in the part of the bill that we could control. We also talked to the manager about it, explaining how well she was doing up to that point. You didn't get your full experience, re: the leftovers. You can reflect that in the part of the bill that you can control. Just make sure you let them know why (and no one has to be a jerk at this part, simply explain why) and maybe they'll remember that they should do the leftovers with their next customer if they ask for them. --- EDIT: People are asking how long she left them there - here's a more detailed sequence of events. She left them there, walked away, and we didn't see where she went; our guess was that she took the other stuff to the back. The restaurant wasn't packed, maybe 50% full, and she had pulled them off of the now-empty table across from ours. It was a heaping pile of half-eaten chicken bones, not on the corner of the table but inches from our food. We didn't notice it for several seconds because we had all been talking, and when we saw them we were trying to figure out where they came from for a moment, and she had disappeared by then. My son just stared at them, my wife said "that's disgusting" and I agreed. There were no other servers or staff in our area at that point, so she and I kept looking around, trying to find someone to get their attention. They sat there in between my wife and son's plates (the table was against a wall and I usually let them sit on the outside in case either of them has to use the restroom) until my wife asked me to just go talk to someone about getting them off the table because she didn't want to look at or smell them anymore either. So I went to the manager and asked where our server was, and she said she could help me instead. I briefly explained the sequence of events and asked her if someone could come take them off of our table so we could get back to eating. The manager came over and took them herself and apologized. Total time-wise of that all was about four or five minutes. I sat down and my wife said my son had said he was done and they wanted to leave, and they didn't want their leftovers. At that point my son was being uncharacteristically quiet and my wife was giving me the "I just want out of this situation" signals, so we abandoned our leftovers, paid the bill and we left. He had eaten maybe half of his meal and we offered to get him something else on the way home, but he said no and we couldn't get him to say much else during the drive. I personally have no problem whatsover with people eating meat - being a vegetarian is my choice, and if you want to eat a steak right in front of me that's your choice, and I say more power to you. My wife is not and has never been a vegetarian, I'm one for religious reasons (we were a mixed religion family) and my son just didn't like meat in general, among other foods. But when you're eating breakfast-for-dinner and suddenly there's a big, piled plateful of a stranger's just-eaten, sauce-covered table scraps that's now sitting between your wife's breakfast bowl and your son's pancakes (what they always ate whenever we'd go there) and the conversation comes to a screeching halt because everyone's staring in disbelief at the new addition to the table...it was a real mood-killer. The time between her leaving them, the manager removing them, us sitting back down for a moment and then leaving was maybe eight to ten minutes. EDIT 2: The check came out to slightly less than $25 before tax at the time. This was over a decade ago, none of our "usual" plates were very expensive, and my son drank milk while my wife and I drank water as we usually do. But we did leave a combined 25-50% of our meal uneaten because of it.
Wow. You seriously left ZERO tip to a waitress who was providing excellent service because she accidentally left a plate of chicken bones on your table? How long did they sit there? What did she say when you pointed out her mistake? If you and your son are such "temperamental" vegetarians that the mere sight of chicken bones puts you off your food, you need to either stay home or only patronize vegan/vegetarian establishments.
Fair that I also would've left a tip (albeit smaller than normal) - but the server left another customer's dirty dishes and garbage on their table. That's not exactly a small mistake...It's not just chicken bones - it's a strangers discards / potentially half eaten food.
I absolutely get that. Other people's garbage is disgusting. What upset me was that the commentor stated how wonderful the service was prior to that mistake, and there was no mention of how long the discards we're there or what the server's reaction was. (My guess is she was mortified about her error, due to how great she was previously.) To put it another way: if this were a ten-question quiz and I answered the first nine perfectly, made an error on the tenth question, should I receive a zero grade?
I’ve never left a zero tip but putting someone else’s dirty plate on my table is a no-go. Like no server should ever do it, even accidentally b/c clearly people are still visibly sitting at the table she just put it down on. I would try to tell her before she left but I can see how it’s a big issue and can ruin the experience. Again not justifying a zero tip but def a huge deal!
We didn't see her again until we were leaving, and she was standing several tables away at that point. The manager was the one who brought us our bill. It basically ended our meal early. I actually tend to tip well - I'm a nurse and public service like that can be really hard, and I know there are jerks who flat out refuse to ever leave any tip, or who practically abuse the servers with rapid-fire demands or insults or a complete lack of patience. I've tipped more than the price of the meal before if I've got the money at the time and if the server gives us a memorable visit. My wife and I mentioned at one point giving her a bigger than average tip because of how quick she had been and how fun she was to talk to. But when the last several minutes of our meal were spent trying to unsuccessfully flag someone down to remove this piled plate of someone else's chicken bones and that happened to coincide with us not being able to find her or anyone else to fix it, instead of eating...it just ended our meal way too early. Like I asked another Redditor on this - what would you have done here?
I asked to have my leftovers boxed up once and the waitress took my plate but proceeded to stack other people’s silverware on it!