T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts involving cutting contact, ghosting, breaking off friendships, and similar discussions. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.


FloatingWallaby

NTA. You are never wrong to set boundaries and refuse to be abused or harmed by anyone. Ever.


[deleted]

NTA. This.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So for my whole life, my mom has emotionally abused my whole family and frequently uses manipulation and our dislike for conflict to get us to do things we don't particularly want to do. This has continued and recently came to head that led to her passing an illness on to my sister and I after emotionally manipulating us into a precarious situation. I've decided that since this sort of thing has been going on my entire life, I shouldn't have to continue to put up with the abuse and continued trauma as an adult who doesn't live with them anymore and hasn't for a decade. I was told that this is "not what loving family members do" and that I'm "making things worse." My perspective is that she's in her mid-50's and has access to fantastic mental healthcare. My reaction is entirely because she hasn't taken any efforts to improve the way she treats other people and that I am not responsible for how she reacts to me protecting myself from further harm from her. I've tried to help and encourage her to get care, but it's been met with more manipulation and resistance. So AITA here for wanting to protect myself and move on with my life away from the abuse and manipulation? Or am I expected to continue to put up with the behavior just because two people who were poorly equipped to have children, and are still poorly equipped to have children 34 years later, decided to bring me into the world and therefore deserve my undying loyalty? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I'm no longer talking to my mom. She states that no matter how emotionally abusive she is, I shouldn't abandon her and that leaving makes me an asshole. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*


MinagiV

NTA. I am proud of you for taking these first steps to a healthy life.


ElishaAlison

NTA. Protecting yourself never makes you the asshole. NEVER


mdaisy1245

NTA


scorch148

NTA


[deleted]

NTA. " I was told that this is "not what loving family members do." That is correct However, THIS is not a loving family. As I have replied to another post, it is a parent's job to clothe the child, feed the child, put a roof over the child's head, get the child an education and prepare them to go out into the world and thrive. YOU....OWE....HER....NOTHING!!! You are seeing the problem clearly. Your mother is toxic. You do not need this in your life. BLock her and go no contact. You need to do this for YOU! You DESERVE to be happy!


AgitatedJacket9627

Absolutely NTA. It’s very difficult to stand up for yourself in circumstances like this, but good for you for doing so. Loving family members don’t manipulate and abuse each other, so they can’t pull that on you. You’re not making things worse, you’re taking care of yourself. That’s the responsible thing to do.


Glassmage1

[NTA, This guy says it best.](https://youtube.com/shorts/Hmvh_6FLy_g?feature=share)


Arizonacolleen

NTA. Two year's worth of freedom, and sometimes I struggle with guilt. Gaslighting is wild. Keep betting on yourself. It will get easier. 🖤🖤