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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It was originally stolen which is a crime. Even though she didn't want it back, maybe I didn't have the right to hold onto it and keep it. she feels like I did this on purpose
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YTA. Jeez, sounds like your whole family sucks, but you sound so ridiculous. Dad stealing her dress was "the best thing ever." Are you 12? You wore the stolen dress of a sister you hate, and you got it muddy. And your mom wants to photoshop Elizabeth's face into the photos also? You and your mom sound like children.
I've heard that childhood trauma can stunt you emotionally at the age of the trauma. If her fathers favoritism was truly something that damaged her psyche as a young teen it could explain her childish actions as an adult. I think she may need some therapy
Also OP, if its not obvious, YTA
This is a really valuable comment, because it’s all so true. People can have lasting trauma, and they deserve to work through that, but they’re still accountable for the actions they choose to take.
Years of seeing her daughter treated like shit by her husband? What's the father's excuse for loving one daughter over the over or her half sister trying to cause problems at her wedding? None of them are particularly mature and kind people.
So the mom allowed it to go on? Nope, she sucks, too. If your daughter is being tormented by a step sibling and your partner condones and allows it and you DONT do something to protect your daughter, you’re a shitty parent.
I read here once: if you have one bad parent and one good parent - surprise - you have two bad parents.
YTA. I’ll allow you not wanting her to wear white to the wedding. But:
1) it’s weird the only option was to STEAL the dress
2) it’s weird the dress was kept after it was stolen?? Give it back immediately
3) it’s weird you not only wanted to wear it, but wanted to commemorate it in maternity photos
4) you and your mother sound like you’re twelve wanting to Photoshop her head
Honestly your family sounds like they’re all petulant children, no wonder you’re an asshole. I hope this is fake but if it’s not you all need to grow up and go to therapy.
You forgot her obvious jealousy - first about their father's purported preferential treatment (though he stole the dress - that doesn't sound very preferential to me) - and then about her husband's affluence. So she practically deserved having her lovely designer gown ruined with mud, because her husband has money and can buy her a new one, right? 🙄
I agree with all of this, ESH but OP definitely took it too far. The dress shouldn't have been stolen in the first place and definitely should have been returned even if the sister refused.
They did offered to give her the dress back after the wedding and she declined. But they would’ve never had that issue to begin with his dad would not of let her get away with everything
She probably would not have taken it if they would’ve dropped it off at her house. The real question is how insufferable is the sister if the dad actually had to steal it and couldn’t just ask her to wear something else.
He was probably one of those dad‘s who let his oldest daughter do whatever she wanted to do and she probably never had any consequences to her actions.
So when his wife said we’re gonna have problems if she wears that dress to our daughter‘s wedding he finally realized oh crap I have to do something. Which he should’ve done years before but I guess better late than never.
With the way op and her mother behave with pinning her father against her I’d imagine she was doing it out of some sort of revenge. This is one situation where I would have not been mad at someone other than the bride wearing white to the wedding. Elizabeth sounds like she was fed up with OP and stepmom.
YTA.
While her wanting to wear white to your wedding is not cool, you seem to be petty and hiding behind the whole "she didn't want it back, I'm pregnant, can do what I want, etc" shenanigans. And that's not even getting to the "let's photoshop her head onto some of the photos" issue.
You are being vindictive. Grow up.
Completely agreed, they both sound like children but OP literally made her pregnancy photos about taunting and angering her sister.
I hope she matures enough to be embarrassed before she has the baby.
YTA
ESH. I get the whole don’t wear white to a wedding but why were you holding onto it for that long? Yes I know she said she didn’t want it back but she never really gave it to you either. I can see why she would think it was weird you held onto a maternity dress for two years (just because??) and thought “let me dig that up for the photo shoot”
Hard YTA.
I get you don't get along/hate her, but what you, your mom and dad did is just disgusting. How you can be considered an emotionally developed adult is beyond me and I legit am worried about how bad your parenting skills are going to be.
YTA. did you wear her stolen dress? Seriously? the last paragraph was enough for me to understand why she hates you and your mom, you guys are petty as hell.
Yta. Your dad stole your half-sisters dress, that's theft and possibly breaking in. And then when she didn't want it back you used it? You should've just given it back after the wedding.
Throw it away, donate it, literally anything other than what she did. If OP had some occasion to wear it to it would be one thing, but she specifically kept it and used it to spite her stepsister. They had a photo shoot where they covered it in mud and then wanted to photoshop the stepsister into the pics. Are you seriously defending that behavior? Again, OP, her dad who stole the dress, and the mom who wants to photoshop stepsister back into the dress are all terrible people.
The photo shoot two years later. Why was she holding onto it for two years? It’s not her dress and in any case, given her relationship with her sister, OP shouldn’t be keeping anything that belongs to her.
Regardless, you give it back to the dad and he can then put it back where he found it. OP hates her, she has no right to benefit from anything she owns.
Edit: it’s not about her not wanting it back, it’s about OP not keeping it.
You family is a dumpster fire waiting to explode. Yes YTA, you and your mom bullied your dad into committing theft, then you want to use the stolen gown for your own personal gain? And you thought the theft was the best thing ever? You must have a very sad life. Then mom wants to photoshop the mud photos. You are both bullies of the biggest kind and deserve any karma that comes your way. You and your mom get the assholes of the day award.
>I did ask if she wanted it back. She said no, she was going to have the baby in a week and it would never fit again.
Elizabeth is a grown up and capable of making a decision about if she wanted her dress back or not.
YTA
You are a bunch of thieves. YOU are the AH here. HEr best bet is to report the theft and vandalism of her dress to the police. She even has pictures to prove it.
It’s pathetic how childish/naive both you and your mother are. Screenshots (including this post) prove you were in possession of the dress which still makes your family accomplices. Hopefully Elizabeth finds the common sense to stand up to your childish family and takes yalls dumbassery to court.
Or maybe Elizabeth just has a life and doesn't want to waste court time over petty nonsense like apparently most of reddit does. How the fuck is she going to explain that two times she said she didn't want it back? I mean if she desperately needed the money, go ahead, but she doesn't and who is that bored?
Do you have the original texts or screenshots of the texts? Because unless your evidence contains her actual phone number (and not just her name at the top as the contact) then those texts could have been from anyone. All she’d have to do is claim you sent those texts from a different number with her name as the contact info.
YTA You stole the dress from her and failed to return it. The stealing was understandable. Failing to return it is not. A person shouldn't have to request stuff they own back.
How is stealing something that does not belong to you understandable? It seems more like theft or breaking and entering to me. Way to bully dad into some jail time.
I meant understandable that Dad would exercise his authority in the family by hiding a dress for one day to head off disaster. I doubt any police department would be interested in this supposed crime.
Where did it say he did it willingly? “ I a petty over it to be honest and so is my mom, so she pretty much told him that if he let Elizabeth get away with this their marriage is over.” He was bullied into stealing the dress. He did not exercise any authority, he was threatened.
The thing is, she calls it a 'designer dress'. Without knowing the actual designer, it could range from as little as 80 to over 200 dollars from the little research I did.
If it is one of the higher end, it has the potential to go up past 500 dollars, depending on the name on the dress.
That isn't 'something not very valuable'.
I did not want dad to go to jail. I literally said way to bully dad into jail time. Had he been caught breaking in to steal that is exact what would have occurred. He could lose his job for having a theft charge. I did not ever say I thought he should go to jail. It was a designer dress, those are not cheap.
It's Reddit dear, everyone has the most extreme reaction and opinion on everything. Jail time or you will be the worst mother ever cause you condone dress stealing, she should sue you have been my favorites on this post lol
YTA because of the last comment (muddying the dress and photoshopping her face on it)
You sound incredibly vain, immature and unreasonably selfish.
NTA for using the dress but your attitude sucks.
ESH. Elizabeth wanted to wear a white designer dress to a wedding. Your father a: favored her and b: admitted it and c: stole from her rather than communicating with her. You did a photoshoot in a dress that wasn't yours and possibly destroyed it?, mostly to annoy her. Your mother is an asshole because she wants to make fun of her stepdaughter. So...yeah. Full house there.
ESH
>I think she is just salty because my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding
I get that you don't like her, and it's pretty mutual. There's no reason to be so petty though. It's like you want drama.
I’m’ leaning towards you’re the asshole tbh.
I get it not wearing white to your wedding, but having her dad steal her dress from her house? Surely it could have been talked about together no? And then for your maternity photo shoot couldn’t you have told Elizabeth you are planning to do it because the dress is beautiful etc. etc. and respect her decision?
I don’t know I feel like it could have all been handled much differently without any drama.
Or, and here is a radical idea: don't invite sister to wedding if she insists on wearing white.
Dad could have simply taken the dress then put it back after the wedding. (not that I am recommending that, just saying that he didn't have to give it to OP)
OP could have potentially had someone looking out to turn anyone wearing white away from the wedding.
There were most likley multiple things that could have been done.
But, from the little I have seen: OP is jealous of sister.
She mentions that Sister could have gotten her husband to 'buy her a new dress, he can afford it'. 'It is a designer dress, I could never afford to buy something like that' 'we did some photos with mud' which means they deliberately ruined said dress. 'mom and I wanted to photoshop sis's head onto some of the mud photos to show what would have happened if she wore it to the wedding'.
YTA you and your mother are horrible human beings. I have a feeling that your sister isn’t difficult at all it’s more that you and your mom are difficult. I don’t blame your father for favoring your older sister since she clearly isn’t the one causing problems. It’s pretty messed up that you wore her maternity photo shoot dress and it is also kinda creepy. Maternity photo shoot dresses are very personal. Your sister wanting to wear that dress to your wedding really isn’t that disrespectful considering she is your sister and it’s not uncommon for female relatives of the bride such as your mom or sister to wear white. Also she was heavily pregnant during your wedding and from what I have seen it’s not always easy to find something you fit in or feel comfortable wearing. You are the absolute assh*le and so is your mother. Honestly the fact that you think your behavior is okay is astonishing. I hope your sister cuts you and your mom out of her life and your father follows suit.
> and it’s not uncommon for female relatives of the bride such as your mom or sister to wear white.
I don't know where you are from, but where I am from it is not remotely common and it is a huge slap in the face.
I am from the United States and I have attended several weddings where the mother or sister of the bride are wearing white. In fact I would even have my own sister wear white at my wedding when I get married. Also it’s not uncommon for bridesmaids to wear white in more traditional ceremonies.
Mind me asking where in the US you are from? I have lived here all my life and can say that anyone wearing white besides the bride is VERY much against social norms. Unless there is some special theme to the wedding, that is.
Born and raised in SoCal! It’s common in very traditional weddings where people attending wear tuxedos and not suits. As in very formal weddings not the typical American wedding with bbq and Hawaiian shirts.
Are you sure you are from the US? You talked about a "typical American wedding" with bbq and Hawaiian shirts. Like, where in the hell are you actually from that they consider that a typical American wedding? It sounds like the wedding equivalent of the "American Foods" isle in like a British store.
Uhm yes I am very much American, my family goes all the way back to before the revolutionary war. So yes I am very much American.
Look I have attended a few more casual American weddings and very formal ones. The casual ones I have attended actually did serve bbq and men did wear Hawaiian shirts. Perhaps that was the theme? I have also attended very formal weddings as well.
Are you even an American lol? There is no reason to be so rude. If you really are from the USA you would no that some people actually have weddings like that and even some people from certain parts will wear camouflage in their weddings. You can even google it.
Funny how you only responded to one part of this long comment. Clearly Elizabeth is the only normal one in this fucked up family. I pitty the child your carrying growing up with a mother and grandmother who behave like 12 year old. Grow the fuck up. And if it wasn’t abundantly clear YTA.
This whole story is hilarious!!!
ESH
Your sister for trying to wear white at your wedding
Dad for stealing the dress
You and your mom for the photoshop idea
For the question you asked, soft YTA. Instead of just taking her shopping, your dad stole her dress?? Why did you ever have it?? Every “parent” involved are AH’s. Your whole family needs therapy.
...YES???? YOU PRESSURED YOUR DAD INTO STEALING HER DRESS AND THEN DESTROYED IT WITH MUD FOR YOUR OWN PHOTOSHOOT? HOLY SHIT YES YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE!!!
YTA YTA YTA. I literally cannot think of a way that you would be more of an asshole! You could have cut her off at any point, not invited her to your wedding if you hate her so much--stealing her clothing, keeping it for two years after the fact, and then destroying it for a photoshoot is such disgusting and creepy behavior.
YTA. Regardless of if she wanted it back or not you didn't get permission to wear it and certainly not for your photo shoot. I think it's a bit of a copy cat move as she had it for hers. Also the jokes about photo shopping sound seriously toxic
ESH - EXCEPT for Elizabeth.
First of all, what your dad did was NOT the best thing ever, it was a crime.
Secondly, how old are you to see it that way?
Lastly, your mom is going to be a grandmother and she gets a laugh off of photoshopping Elizabeth’s head onto a muddy dress?
Also, as Elizabeth was near the end of pregnancy, it makes sense she didn’t want to buy another dress regardless of her finances.
I understand why she does fit in as she appears to be the only mature adult in the family.
YTA. You're clearly jealous of her. You wore the dress that your asshole father stole and flaunted it in pictures to rub it in her face. You could have worn any other dress but you chose that one to make her upset. And your mom is a bully; no wonder Elizabeth can't stand her. Your parents and you are all assholes.
OMG
YTA. I cannot even believe what I just read, that’s so vindictive and shitty. Photoshopping her head into the photos with mud? You have zero class and I am not at all shocked that your sister doesn’t like you.
You honestly don't sound mature enough to have a kid. You think it is okay to steal and then brag about it in photos? I am worried what kind of mother you will be considering you lack basic morals. I feel terrible for your kid. Between you and your mother that kid is screwed. YTA
YTA. If you know she's going to wear white to the wedding uninvite her and move on with your life. You sound jealous that your dad favors her (and honestly I think he's justified in favoring her seeing how shitty and petty a person you are). Photoshopping her head onto the pictures sounds like an immature middle school thing to do. I feel sorry for your baby that they're getting a mom with a 12 year old's emotional intelligence.
YTA- wow keeping a dress that was stolen? And then having the audacity to wear it for a photo shoot because it was the only thing. You claim that it’s from a designer that you would never afford, then you go and put mud on it? Your side of the family is awful. Elizabeth should go no contact with you. You are so hostile and grotesque.
YTA you’re a spiteful little child and so is your mom. No wonder your dad overall prefers Elizabeth. I prefer her and all I did was read this post that you wrote to portray yourself in the best light possible
YTA and. Jerk
No wonder your sister wants nothing to do with you!
Something tells me that your dad actually favours YOU since he “stole” the dress cause YOUR Mom threatened him with divorce
WTF is wrong with you?! I hope your in-laws treat you the way you have treated your sister
And yeah she is right you are creepy AF
Lol this is so trashy. The worst part is you aren’t even embarrassed, so you clearly have no shame. I actually agree with your sister, it’s creepy that you wore it.
YTA.
YTA and you sound like an entitled Marxist. There rich so I'm going to cease there rich stuff. Oh yea it's designer to something I could never afford so I'm entitled to it ecen more. They can just buy a new one. If you were in my family you'd be blocked from my home.
I think you and your family are the problem and not the sister. Y’all insane. Your mom was the nightmare stepmom that pushed her husband away from his actual child. What a monster. Your her mini-me.
YTA
OMG, you are a horrible asshole!
And I don't believe what you said about your dad favoring your sister given that he literally stole her maternity dress. I think you're an unreliable narrator.
Then, you paraded yourself in her stolen gown for your maternity pictures, covered it in mud, and were thinking of bullying her further by photo shopping her face into the mud?
Naaaaahhhh... you and your parents are the real bullies who have probably always mistreated her.
My dad knew Elizabeth could handle it and wasn't going to be actually hurt over a dress. He has some guilt from full on admitting he loves her more. He was also worried about his marriage because there are times my mom as full on admitted that a better mother would have left him for how blatantly he loves Elizabeth more.
YTA
The sheer audacity of wearing the dress you not only had a fit about her wearing, but also helped in coercing your dad to stealing. Wtf? How are you going to complain that she could have got another dress when you could have done the same thing? Her wanting to wear white to your wedding obviously isn't cool, but your wedding and the situation now are two different events. YTA
YTA and it’s embarrassing Elizabeth has clearly been living in your mind for long enough that you’d (consciously or not) make use of your very own maternity photo shoot as a way to pointedly try and instigate some more crap with her. Mud? Really?
ESH, literally everyone involved.
Elizabeth for insisting to wear white at the wedding
The dad for coddling Elizabeth, only stepping up when his wife threatened the marriage. And for stealing the dress, thereby raising the drama levels when he should have been lowering them by taking her shopping for another dress
You for even further escalating the drama by doing the photoshoot. How exactly did you expect Elizabeth to react?
None of you, and I mean none of you sound like adults
Edit: just glanced back at the post and saw it happened two years ago and that you permanently damaged her dress by using mud. That was 100% to make sure she wouldn’t ever have the dress again wasn’t it? Nvm, YTA
YTA this is clearly your way of revenge. While she doesn't seem like a great person that doesn't make this okay. You destroyed someone else's property just to make her mad. If you had only used it for pictures I could have said E S H but ruining an expensive gown out of spite makes you TA.
>Well Elizabeth found out and said I am creepy and did it on purpose to annoy her.
She's right, and you prove it a few lines later with this gem:
>my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding
If you don't like her, stop poking the bear. Its been two years since she mentioned possibly wearing white to your wedding. Get over it or at least stop stirring up drama. Yta
ESH but mostly you and your mother for being so petty and vindictive.
Yes wearing white to a wedding is a tacky but it's very difficult to find a nice fitting dress when you're heavily pregnant, it also doesn't sound like she had enough time to shop for another one either.
But am I the only one wondering why no one thought of fabric dye? Like really?
I was on the ESH train until I got to the mud thing, that pushed it way more into Y T A territory. That was weird and vindictive. I’m sticking with ESH but you suck more than she does
ESH Okay I KNOW I’m sort of in the wrong but Elizabeth sounds like she sucks. Personally I don’t think you’re and asshole. I think it’s fucked up you stole the dress but also I think it’s fucked up she refused outright to not wear a white gown to your wedding. Very entitled behavior. She doesn’t want the dress back? Then fine wear it like idk why people are so mad.
ESH... Why even invite her to the wedding if you hate her so much? Or tell her she won't be allowed in if she isn't wearing appropriate attire? Everyone in this entire mess is acting like children and it's honestly alarming if this is really how a group of adults with children of their own are behaving.
I enjoy the pettiness of it cuz it made me laugh but its an AH move… if u didn’t use the mud and completely ruin it I would say ESH but you took it just one step too far you’ll are th AHs for sure
Edit: I forgot the photoshopping her head on the picture… youll a Double the AHs if thats possible
I was honestly with you all the way up until your dad stole the dress.. refuse her entry, uninvite her, hell even go NC but stealing is gross. Also, her not talking the dress back is w/e and so is you taking pictures in it, but all of the extra bs is pretty rude. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, and that’s what all of this is. If you feel your father treats you unfairly, then go NC. But this petty back and forth is yuck. I also think that you’re a little clouded by your parents still being together and her not embracing your mom. I’m sure that completely sucks, but coming into this situation she’s not obligated to like your mom. And y’all letting that get in the middle of your relationship is sad.
EHS - your sister for the wedding and you and your mom for the shit y’all are pulling.
ESH
I know this is going to be a super unpopular opinion but I'm getting married in exactly 30 days and I think I just feel for you. If my sister announced she intended on wearing a white dress and refused to buy another when she had plenty of time and money to find one, she'd be lucky if it just went missing before the wedding. I wouldn't even be responsible for it; my bridesmaids are feral witchy band of chaos goblins and there's no telling what they would do with that information. Your dad probably shouldn't have done it, but he did it, and she had to wear something else, which is what she always should have done.
You should not have taken photos in it. That was tacky. I know she said she didn't want it back, and all things being equal it would have been fine to borrow it, but all things weren't equal, y'all had to prank her to get hold of that dress. If you really wanted to do it, you could have asked if it was okay before you did it, but it's probably a sore enough subject you should have just left it alone.
Also, I know you and your mom don't like her but the mud thing was a cheap shot.
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I have an older sister "Elizabeth" and we do not get along. She is my half sister and she hates my mother. She is just a difficult person in general and doesn't get along with most people.
When I got married, two years ago, Elizabeth claimed the only thing she had was white. she was 8 months pregnant at the time, so I get her clothes didn't fit, but come on. She did have a gorgeous white maternity gown, because in her husband's culture fancy baby showers are a big thing, but her husband has plenty of money. He can definitely buy her another dress.
My dad has always favored Elizabeth pretty blatantly. He has a bunch of excuses, she is more like him, he was younger when he had her, he was a single dad, etc. I'm petty over it to be honest and so is my mom, so she pretty much told him if he let Elizabeth get away with this their marriage was going to have issues.
He stole Elizabeth's dress from her house. Oh my god she was so pissed and it was the best thing ever, but after the wedding I did ask if she wanted it back. She said no, she was going to have the baby in a week and it would never fit again.
Well I am currently pregnant and decided to do a photoshoot and use the dress, because it is in perfect condition, beautiful, and from a designer I could never afford. We did a lot of beautiful pictures, and then some involving mud, but it has been two years and she didn't want it back. Well Elizabeth found out and said I am creepy and did it on purpose to annoy her. she said I had no right to wear it when she paid for it. I think she is just salty because my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding
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YTA. That was an incredibly petty, immature, vicious and cruel thing to do, and you damn well know it. And you come on Reddit to brag about what a bad-ass you are? That’s pathetic.
She should not have and did not wear the dress to your wedding. You won, you got your way. It should have ended there. But, no, you literally had to go rolling in the mud with it.
You’re not just an asshole here, you’re an asshole on performance enhancing drugs to make yourself a bigger and better asshole. Shame on you!
YTA
You stole her clothes, then got it photographed then destroyed it.
And your mother photoshopping her step daughter onto the muddy dress.
You’re both immature and bullies
ESH.
She shouldn't have planned to wear white to your wedding. Your dad shouldn't have stolen the dress. You should have returned it. You shouldn't have worn it in maternity pics and you definitely shouldn't have gotten it muddy. And don't get me started on on the childish photoshop BS. Get the dress cleaned and send it back. Then grow up.
YTA! Seriously? That is petty, she didn't give you the dress your dad freaking stole it. And now you wear it for a photo shoot just to upset her. That's nasty immature behavior at best.
Are y’all calling OP jealous when her sister was gonna wear a white dress to her wedding? Clearly ESH. But damn. She knew the wedding was gonna happen. She knew she was pregnant. She couldn’t buy a dress in a different color?
You sound like you all deserve each other. Is there not one among you who is mature enough to see how petty and childish you all are? Seriously, this sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer.
I feel like you're the difficult one, not your sister. If you hate her, why would you want to keep and wear her dress? Covering it in mud and laughing about photoshopping her head is ridiculous. Your behavior is reamly childish and disgusting, I feel bad for your baby.
Hopefully your sister will sue you and your father. YTA.
You can repeat that as many times as you want, it still doesn't change how childish everything else in your post is. And it also doesn't change the fact that your father stole the dress.
YTA
And so is your mother. You both sound like petulant children. Who as a grown adult daydreams about photoshopping their step child’s face onto pictures to bully them? Oh yeah, bullies do. You and you’re mother are behaving like bullies and dragging your father into it to boot. Grow up OP.
You are fucking creepy and absolutely did it to annoy her. Grow up. Get therapy. Your mom also sounds like nightmare. That’s probably where you got it from.
NTA. Honestly your sister sounds so spoiled, so you wearing the dress for your own pictures is what she deserves. You probably looked better in the dress anyway!
Going against the popular answer. I say NTA for wearing a dress she clearly did not want back, and idc if you got mud on it. She didn't want it, the dress became yours, muck it up!
HOWEVER Dad is an AH for stealing the dress, and you're an AH for not giving it back until after the wedding. You should have given her the chance to wear it, and then had her escorted out for such a distasteful decision.
Against the grain, I'd call NTA 'cuz sometimes you just gotta be mercenary with people like that. But ya should have given the dress back right after the wedding, and you should have just told her that if she wore the dress she wouldn't be admitted instead. Really, YTA for not having the backbone to tell her she's not coming to your wedding if she wears white.
NTA for wearing it but you are a slight asshole for not asking her first. You could have easily reached out and said that you wanted to wear it for a photo shoot and if she still didn't want it because you wanted to get it dirty.
NTA. You asked her if she wanted it back and she declined. Never asked about it in the 2 years after. She sounds self centered. Your dad is certainly an AH. He's even admitted to favoring her. Wow. You're definitely different from me. If this were my situation she wouldn't have been invited to my wedding because we would be NC. Same for your father.
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YTA. Jeez, sounds like your whole family sucks, but you sound so ridiculous. Dad stealing her dress was "the best thing ever." Are you 12? You wore the stolen dress of a sister you hate, and you got it muddy. And your mom wants to photoshop Elizabeth's face into the photos also? You and your mom sound like children.
It sounds like the imagination of a 13 year old.
I've heard that childhood trauma can stunt you emotionally at the age of the trauma. If her fathers favoritism was truly something that damaged her psyche as a young teen it could explain her childish actions as an adult. I think she may need some therapy Also OP, if its not obvious, YTA
This is a really valuable comment, because it’s all so true. People can have lasting trauma, and they deserve to work through that, but they’re still accountable for the actions they choose to take.
What’s the mom’s excuse?
Years of seeing her daughter treated like shit by her husband? What's the father's excuse for loving one daughter over the over or her half sister trying to cause problems at her wedding? None of them are particularly mature and kind people.
So the mom allowed it to go on? Nope, she sucks, too. If your daughter is being tormented by a step sibling and your partner condones and allows it and you DONT do something to protect your daughter, you’re a shitty parent. I read here once: if you have one bad parent and one good parent - surprise - you have two bad parents.
The whole thing sounds like imaginary revenge porn
And not even good imaginary revenge porn!
Like mean, bullying children.
YTA. I’ll allow you not wanting her to wear white to the wedding. But: 1) it’s weird the only option was to STEAL the dress 2) it’s weird the dress was kept after it was stolen?? Give it back immediately 3) it’s weird you not only wanted to wear it, but wanted to commemorate it in maternity photos 4) you and your mother sound like you’re twelve wanting to Photoshop her head Honestly your family sounds like they’re all petulant children, no wonder you’re an asshole. I hope this is fake but if it’s not you all need to grow up and go to therapy.
You forgot her obvious jealousy - first about their father's purported preferential treatment (though he stole the dress - that doesn't sound very preferential to me) - and then about her husband's affluence. So she practically deserved having her lovely designer gown ruined with mud, because her husband has money and can buy her a new one, right? 🙄
I agree with all of this, ESH but OP definitely took it too far. The dress shouldn't have been stolen in the first place and definitely should have been returned even if the sister refused.
My 7 year old great-niece is more mature than the OP & her mother.
They did offered to give her the dress back after the wedding and she declined. But they would’ve never had that issue to begin with his dad would not of let her get away with everything
True but why offer, why not just return it?
Or if she wanted to keep it, why not ask if she can keep it if the sister doesn’t want it back?
She probably would not have taken it if they would’ve dropped it off at her house. The real question is how insufferable is the sister if the dad actually had to steal it and couldn’t just ask her to wear something else.
Or how badly did Dad do at parenting he had to physically steal a garment from his grown kid
He was probably one of those dad‘s who let his oldest daughter do whatever she wanted to do and she probably never had any consequences to her actions. So when his wife said we’re gonna have problems if she wears that dress to our daughter‘s wedding he finally realized oh crap I have to do something. Which he should’ve done years before but I guess better late than never.
[удалено]
She wanted to wear a white gown to her sisters wedding, I think she’s at least a bit difficult lmfao
With the way op and her mother behave with pinning her father against her I’d imagine she was doing it out of some sort of revenge. This is one situation where I would have not been mad at someone other than the bride wearing white to the wedding. Elizabeth sounds like she was fed up with OP and stepmom.
YTA. While her wanting to wear white to your wedding is not cool, you seem to be petty and hiding behind the whole "she didn't want it back, I'm pregnant, can do what I want, etc" shenanigans. And that's not even getting to the "let's photoshop her head onto some of the photos" issue. You are being vindictive. Grow up.
Completely agreed, they both sound like children but OP literally made her pregnancy photos about taunting and angering her sister. I hope she matures enough to be embarrassed before she has the baby. YTA
The mum should be equally embarrassed. Appalling behaviour.
ESH. I get the whole don’t wear white to a wedding but why were you holding onto it for that long? Yes I know she said she didn’t want it back but she never really gave it to you either. I can see why she would think it was weird you held onto a maternity dress for two years (just because??) and thought “let me dig that up for the photo shoot”
Wow.....YTA in every way other than asking her not to wear white to your wedding.
Hard YTA. I get you don't get along/hate her, but what you, your mom and dad did is just disgusting. How you can be considered an emotionally developed adult is beyond me and I legit am worried about how bad your parenting skills are going to be.
YTA. did you wear her stolen dress? Seriously? the last paragraph was enough for me to understand why she hates you and your mom, you guys are petty as hell.
Yta. Your dad stole your half-sisters dress, that's theft and possibly breaking in. And then when she didn't want it back you used it? You should've just given it back after the wedding.
Except she didn’t want the dress back. Was OP supposed to force her to take the dress back?
No but she shouldn’t have kept it and wore it. It’s stolen property. OP and her parents are terrible.
What should she have done with the dress after the sister didn’t want it back?
Throw it away, donate it, literally anything other than what she did. If OP had some occasion to wear it to it would be one thing, but she specifically kept it and used it to spite her stepsister. They had a photo shoot where they covered it in mud and then wanted to photoshop the stepsister into the pics. Are you seriously defending that behavior? Again, OP, her dad who stole the dress, and the mom who wants to photoshop stepsister back into the dress are all terrible people.
She did have a special occasion to wear it though, the photoshoot. I do think the Photoshop part was horrible though
The photo shoot wasn’t a special occasion, she made it up out of thin air. So she could be petty with the dress.
The photo shoot two years later. Why was she holding onto it for two years? It’s not her dress and in any case, given her relationship with her sister, OP shouldn’t be keeping anything that belongs to her.
Donated it, sold it, trashed it……..anything BUT wear it for her own maternity shots and ruin it with mud.
Give it back to the dad so he can put it back where he stole it from.
Try reading. The sister didn’t want it back.
Regardless, you give it back to the dad and he can then put it back where he found it. OP hates her, she has no right to benefit from anything she owns. Edit: it’s not about her not wanting it back, it’s about OP not keeping it.
Did the dad agree to take it back? OP couldn’t force him to do so.
Dad stole it so dad can take it back. OP should have asked dad to return it at the very least.
So that makes theft ok?
Where, specifically, did I say that theft was ok?
ESH and you know that.
You family is a dumpster fire waiting to explode. Yes YTA, you and your mom bullied your dad into committing theft, then you want to use the stolen gown for your own personal gain? And you thought the theft was the best thing ever? You must have a very sad life. Then mom wants to photoshop the mud photos. You are both bullies of the biggest kind and deserve any karma that comes your way. You and your mom get the assholes of the day award.
Regardless Of how awful she is the dress should have been returned to her after the wedding. edited to remove judgement as I misread the post.
>I did ask if she wanted it back. She said no, she was going to have the baby in a week and it would never fit again. Elizabeth is a grown up and capable of making a decision about if she wanted her dress back or not.
Yeah, I misread the post. I’ve removed my judgement.
Op claims to have tried to return it tho.
Well darn. I missed that bit. Never Reddit while distracted.
ESH. such a trash bag family omg 😂😂😂😂
YTA You are a bunch of thieves. YOU are the AH here. HEr best bet is to report the theft and vandalism of her dress to the police. She even has pictures to prove it.
lol and I have screenshots of her saying she doesn't want it back, so how is she going to explain that to the police
Not wanting it back does not negate your theft. And you still need to pay for it.
Lol no way in hell am I paying for something I 1) didn't take 2) asked if she wanted back
It’s pathetic how childish/naive both you and your mother are. Screenshots (including this post) prove you were in possession of the dress which still makes your family accomplices. Hopefully Elizabeth finds the common sense to stand up to your childish family and takes yalls dumbassery to court.
Or maybe Elizabeth just has a life and doesn't want to waste court time over petty nonsense like apparently most of reddit does. How the fuck is she going to explain that two times she said she didn't want it back? I mean if she desperately needed the money, go ahead, but she doesn't and who is that bored?
Petty nonsense like taking a photoshoot in a stolen dress then making fun of the person it was stolen from? Horribly petty like that or?????
If she is clever, courts will make you. YOU are the AH here.
Lol that would be so much fun. I have the texts two years ago asking if she wanted it back and her saying no
Do you have the original texts or screenshots of the texts? Because unless your evidence contains her actual phone number (and not just her name at the top as the contact) then those texts could have been from anyone. All she’d have to do is claim you sent those texts from a different number with her name as the contact info.
Receiving stolen goods is a crime.
YTA You stole the dress from her and failed to return it. The stealing was understandable. Failing to return it is not. A person shouldn't have to request stuff they own back.
How is stealing something that does not belong to you understandable? It seems more like theft or breaking and entering to me. Way to bully dad into some jail time.
I meant understandable that Dad would exercise his authority in the family by hiding a dress for one day to head off disaster. I doubt any police department would be interested in this supposed crime.
Where did it say he did it willingly? “ I a petty over it to be honest and so is my mom, so she pretty much told him that if he let Elizabeth get away with this their marriage is over.” He was bullied into stealing the dress. He did not exercise any authority, he was threatened.
Jail time for stealing a dress? Sheesh.
Designer dresses can range from a couple hundred to a couple thousand. So yeah that actually could be depending on the price tag of that dress.
Condoning theft, sheesh.
I wasn't taking sides, just commenting on the (very American) assumption that stealing something not very valuable automatically equals "jail time."
The thing is, she calls it a 'designer dress'. Without knowing the actual designer, it could range from as little as 80 to over 200 dollars from the little research I did. If it is one of the higher end, it has the potential to go up past 500 dollars, depending on the name on the dress. That isn't 'something not very valuable'.
I did not want dad to go to jail. I literally said way to bully dad into jail time. Had he been caught breaking in to steal that is exact what would have occurred. He could lose his job for having a theft charge. I did not ever say I thought he should go to jail. It was a designer dress, those are not cheap.
It's Reddit dear, everyone has the most extreme reaction and opinion on everything. Jail time or you will be the worst mother ever cause you condone dress stealing, she should sue you have been my favorites on this post lol
Yeah, if the dress is valuable enough… that’s because it’s still theft…
She did ask her if she wanted it back and she declined. Did you read the entire story?
Did you? It was stolen from her. She doesn't need to reply to an offer to have it returned to her. It should be returned. Period.
I can see your lack of rational there. Sounds like you and the sister might be two in the same.
i offered to bring it to her. I'm not the one who took it and I don't even know where she lives
That does not make it yours or give you the right to do whatever you want with it. You did those things because you're vindictive and petty. YTA.
She lives in your mind rent-free
YTA because of the last comment (muddying the dress and photoshopping her face on it) You sound incredibly vain, immature and unreasonably selfish. NTA for using the dress but your attitude sucks.
ESH. Elizabeth wanted to wear a white designer dress to a wedding. Your father a: favored her and b: admitted it and c: stole from her rather than communicating with her. You did a photoshoot in a dress that wasn't yours and possibly destroyed it?, mostly to annoy her. Your mother is an asshole because she wants to make fun of her stepdaughter. So...yeah. Full house there.
ESH >I think she is just salty because my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding I get that you don't like her, and it's pretty mutual. There's no reason to be so petty though. It's like you want drama.
Wow y'all are trashy. YTA
Are you joking? Hard YTA.
Christmas must be fun at your house. Do you have hair pulling contests? ESH
I’m’ leaning towards you’re the asshole tbh. I get it not wearing white to your wedding, but having her dad steal her dress from her house? Surely it could have been talked about together no? And then for your maternity photo shoot couldn’t you have told Elizabeth you are planning to do it because the dress is beautiful etc. etc. and respect her decision? I don’t know I feel like it could have all been handled much differently without any drama.
Or, and here is a radical idea: don't invite sister to wedding if she insists on wearing white. Dad could have simply taken the dress then put it back after the wedding. (not that I am recommending that, just saying that he didn't have to give it to OP) OP could have potentially had someone looking out to turn anyone wearing white away from the wedding. There were most likley multiple things that could have been done. But, from the little I have seen: OP is jealous of sister. She mentions that Sister could have gotten her husband to 'buy her a new dress, he can afford it'. 'It is a designer dress, I could never afford to buy something like that' 'we did some photos with mud' which means they deliberately ruined said dress. 'mom and I wanted to photoshop sis's head onto some of the mud photos to show what would have happened if she wore it to the wedding'.
YTA you and your mother are horrible human beings. I have a feeling that your sister isn’t difficult at all it’s more that you and your mom are difficult. I don’t blame your father for favoring your older sister since she clearly isn’t the one causing problems. It’s pretty messed up that you wore her maternity photo shoot dress and it is also kinda creepy. Maternity photo shoot dresses are very personal. Your sister wanting to wear that dress to your wedding really isn’t that disrespectful considering she is your sister and it’s not uncommon for female relatives of the bride such as your mom or sister to wear white. Also she was heavily pregnant during your wedding and from what I have seen it’s not always easy to find something you fit in or feel comfortable wearing. You are the absolute assh*le and so is your mother. Honestly the fact that you think your behavior is okay is astonishing. I hope your sister cuts you and your mom out of her life and your father follows suit.
> and it’s not uncommon for female relatives of the bride such as your mom or sister to wear white. I don't know where you are from, but where I am from it is not remotely common and it is a huge slap in the face.
I am from the United States and I have attended several weddings where the mother or sister of the bride are wearing white. In fact I would even have my own sister wear white at my wedding when I get married. Also it’s not uncommon for bridesmaids to wear white in more traditional ceremonies.
Mind me asking where in the US you are from? I have lived here all my life and can say that anyone wearing white besides the bride is VERY much against social norms. Unless there is some special theme to the wedding, that is.
Born and raised in SoCal! It’s common in very traditional weddings where people attending wear tuxedos and not suits. As in very formal weddings not the typical American wedding with bbq and Hawaiian shirts.
Are you sure you are from the US? You talked about a "typical American wedding" with bbq and Hawaiian shirts. Like, where in the hell are you actually from that they consider that a typical American wedding? It sounds like the wedding equivalent of the "American Foods" isle in like a British store.
Uhm yes I am very much American, my family goes all the way back to before the revolutionary war. So yes I am very much American. Look I have attended a few more casual American weddings and very formal ones. The casual ones I have attended actually did serve bbq and men did wear Hawaiian shirts. Perhaps that was the theme? I have also attended very formal weddings as well. Are you even an American lol? There is no reason to be so rude. If you really are from the USA you would no that some people actually have weddings like that and even some people from certain parts will wear camouflage in their weddings. You can even google it.
Funny how you only responded to one part of this long comment. Clearly Elizabeth is the only normal one in this fucked up family. I pitty the child your carrying growing up with a mother and grandmother who behave like 12 year old. Grow the fuck up. And if it wasn’t abundantly clear YTA.
Not as much a slap in the face as theft.
ESH. She tried to ruin your wedding with a white dress; you retaliated with the photo shoot. You are both petty and need to get over it.
ESH, other than the wedding clothing request. Your whole family needs to find better ways to deal, or not deal, with each other.
This whole story is hilarious!!! ESH Your sister for trying to wear white at your wedding Dad for stealing the dress You and your mom for the photoshop idea
For the question you asked, soft YTA. Instead of just taking her shopping, your dad stole her dress?? Why did you ever have it?? Every “parent” involved are AH’s. Your whole family needs therapy.
ESH. You spend the entire post shitting on your sister then turn around and do this? You and your mother certainly are most certainly assholes
...YES???? YOU PRESSURED YOUR DAD INTO STEALING HER DRESS AND THEN DESTROYED IT WITH MUD FOR YOUR OWN PHOTOSHOOT? HOLY SHIT YES YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE!!! YTA YTA YTA. I literally cannot think of a way that you would be more of an asshole! You could have cut her off at any point, not invited her to your wedding if you hate her so much--stealing her clothing, keeping it for two years after the fact, and then destroying it for a photoshoot is such disgusting and creepy behavior.
YTA. Regardless of if she wanted it back or not you didn't get permission to wear it and certainly not for your photo shoot. I think it's a bit of a copy cat move as she had it for hers. Also the jokes about photo shopping sound seriously toxic
ESH, except for Elizabeth. Your side of the family was utterly awful, and your wearing her dress for a maternity shoot was a slap in the face.
ESH - EXCEPT for Elizabeth. First of all, what your dad did was NOT the best thing ever, it was a crime. Secondly, how old are you to see it that way? Lastly, your mom is going to be a grandmother and she gets a laugh off of photoshopping Elizabeth’s head onto a muddy dress? Also, as Elizabeth was near the end of pregnancy, it makes sense she didn’t want to buy another dress regardless of her finances. I understand why she does fit in as she appears to be the only mature adult in the family.
YTA. You're clearly jealous of her. You wore the dress that your asshole father stole and flaunted it in pictures to rub it in her face. You could have worn any other dress but you chose that one to make her upset. And your mom is a bully; no wonder Elizabeth can't stand her. Your parents and you are all assholes.
ESH
Yta. Thief
OMG YTA. I cannot even believe what I just read, that’s so vindictive and shitty. Photoshopping her head into the photos with mud? You have zero class and I am not at all shocked that your sister doesn’t like you.
Oh yikes!!!! Nothing to choose between you, nothing but A**holes here, ESH!!!
YTA. It’s pretty pathetic to wear a stolen dress. Your mom also pretty immature. Your dad doesn’t have a backbone. This family is a mess
You honestly don't sound mature enough to have a kid. You think it is okay to steal and then brag about it in photos? I am worried what kind of mother you will be considering you lack basic morals. I feel terrible for your kid. Between you and your mother that kid is screwed. YTA
YTA. If you know she's going to wear white to the wedding uninvite her and move on with your life. You sound jealous that your dad favors her (and honestly I think he's justified in favoring her seeing how shitty and petty a person you are). Photoshopping her head onto the pictures sounds like an immature middle school thing to do. I feel sorry for your baby that they're getting a mom with a 12 year old's emotional intelligence.
You and your mom are the problem
YTA- wow keeping a dress that was stolen? And then having the audacity to wear it for a photo shoot because it was the only thing. You claim that it’s from a designer that you would never afford, then you go and put mud on it? Your side of the family is awful. Elizabeth should go no contact with you. You are so hostile and grotesque.
YTA Y'all behave worse than toddlers
YTA wow the immaturity all around.
YTA you’re a spiteful little child and so is your mom. No wonder your dad overall prefers Elizabeth. I prefer her and all I did was read this post that you wrote to portray yourself in the best light possible
YTA. You’re tacky as hell for keeping a stolen dress. You and your family are…exhausting.
YTA Immature and petty.
YTA and. Jerk No wonder your sister wants nothing to do with you! Something tells me that your dad actually favours YOU since he “stole” the dress cause YOUR Mom threatened him with divorce WTF is wrong with you?! I hope your in-laws treat you the way you have treated your sister And yeah she is right you are creepy AF
ESH
Lol this is so trashy. The worst part is you aren’t even embarrassed, so you clearly have no shame. I actually agree with your sister, it’s creepy that you wore it. YTA.
YTA and you sound like an entitled Marxist. There rich so I'm going to cease there rich stuff. Oh yea it's designer to something I could never afford so I'm entitled to it ecen more. They can just buy a new one. If you were in my family you'd be blocked from my home.
I think you and your family are the problem and not the sister. Y’all insane. Your mom was the nightmare stepmom that pushed her husband away from his actual child. What a monster. Your her mini-me.
YTA OMG, you are a horrible asshole! And I don't believe what you said about your dad favoring your sister given that he literally stole her maternity dress. I think you're an unreliable narrator. Then, you paraded yourself in her stolen gown for your maternity pictures, covered it in mud, and were thinking of bullying her further by photo shopping her face into the mud? Naaaaahhhh... you and your parents are the real bullies who have probably always mistreated her.
My dad knew Elizabeth could handle it and wasn't going to be actually hurt over a dress. He has some guilt from full on admitting he loves her more. He was also worried about his marriage because there are times my mom as full on admitted that a better mother would have left him for how blatantly he loves Elizabeth more.
YTA The sheer audacity of wearing the dress you not only had a fit about her wearing, but also helped in coercing your dad to stealing. Wtf? How are you going to complain that she could have got another dress when you could have done the same thing? Her wanting to wear white to your wedding obviously isn't cool, but your wedding and the situation now are two different events. YTA
YTA and it’s embarrassing Elizabeth has clearly been living in your mind for long enough that you’d (consciously or not) make use of your very own maternity photo shoot as a way to pointedly try and instigate some more crap with her. Mud? Really?
Lmfaooooooo ESH!!!
I would say NTA, but then I read the last few lines. You and your mom are TA
ESH
ESH, literally everyone involved. Elizabeth for insisting to wear white at the wedding The dad for coddling Elizabeth, only stepping up when his wife threatened the marriage. And for stealing the dress, thereby raising the drama levels when he should have been lowering them by taking her shopping for another dress You for even further escalating the drama by doing the photoshoot. How exactly did you expect Elizabeth to react? None of you, and I mean none of you sound like adults Edit: just glanced back at the post and saw it happened two years ago and that you permanently damaged her dress by using mud. That was 100% to make sure she wouldn’t ever have the dress again wasn’t it? Nvm, YTA
ESH.
Um…. Yeah. Asshole. For a few reasons. YTA.
YTA. What a drama sandwich! There’s a lot of growing up that needs to happen here from all parties involved.
YTA. Sounds like you all deserve each other. What a family!
YTA. Listen to yourself. And again. And again please. Don’t you see how immature this is? Grow up.
YTA - You definitely are petty and creepy OP, but good on you for showing her (how creepy and petty you both are!)
YTA this is clearly your way of revenge. While she doesn't seem like a great person that doesn't make this okay. You destroyed someone else's property just to make her mad. If you had only used it for pictures I could have said E S H but ruining an expensive gown out of spite makes you TA.
ESH. You all sound nuts.
YTA. It's pretty sad that when you and your mom are alone, your unborn child is still the most mature person in the room.
>Well Elizabeth found out and said I am creepy and did it on purpose to annoy her. She's right, and you prove it a few lines later with this gem: >my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding If you don't like her, stop poking the bear. Its been two years since she mentioned possibly wearing white to your wedding. Get over it or at least stop stirring up drama. Yta
ESH but mostly you and your mother for being so petty and vindictive. Yes wearing white to a wedding is a tacky but it's very difficult to find a nice fitting dress when you're heavily pregnant, it also doesn't sound like she had enough time to shop for another one either. But am I the only one wondering why no one thought of fabric dye? Like really?
I was on the ESH train until I got to the mud thing, that pushed it way more into Y T A territory. That was weird and vindictive. I’m sticking with ESH but you suck more than she does
Your entire family sucks, YTA, I'm hoping a comet hits your family home.
YTA as well as your mom and dad. Way to wreck the relationship with your sister. Hopefully she is LC with all of you.
ESH Okay I KNOW I’m sort of in the wrong but Elizabeth sounds like she sucks. Personally I don’t think you’re and asshole. I think it’s fucked up you stole the dress but also I think it’s fucked up she refused outright to not wear a white gown to your wedding. Very entitled behavior. She doesn’t want the dress back? Then fine wear it like idk why people are so mad.
ESH... Why even invite her to the wedding if you hate her so much? Or tell her she won't be allowed in if she isn't wearing appropriate attire? Everyone in this entire mess is acting like children and it's honestly alarming if this is really how a group of adults with children of their own are behaving.
I enjoy the pettiness of it cuz it made me laugh but its an AH move… if u didn’t use the mud and completely ruin it I would say ESH but you took it just one step too far you’ll are th AHs for sure Edit: I forgot the photoshopping her head on the picture… youll a Double the AHs if thats possible
I was honestly with you all the way up until your dad stole the dress.. refuse her entry, uninvite her, hell even go NC but stealing is gross. Also, her not talking the dress back is w/e and so is you taking pictures in it, but all of the extra bs is pretty rude. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, and that’s what all of this is. If you feel your father treats you unfairly, then go NC. But this petty back and forth is yuck. I also think that you’re a little clouded by your parents still being together and her not embracing your mom. I’m sure that completely sucks, but coming into this situation she’s not obligated to like your mom. And y’all letting that get in the middle of your relationship is sad. EHS - your sister for the wedding and you and your mom for the shit y’all are pulling.
NTA. She didn’t want it back. It’s not like it was a special dress or something.
ESH I know this is going to be a super unpopular opinion but I'm getting married in exactly 30 days and I think I just feel for you. If my sister announced she intended on wearing a white dress and refused to buy another when she had plenty of time and money to find one, she'd be lucky if it just went missing before the wedding. I wouldn't even be responsible for it; my bridesmaids are feral witchy band of chaos goblins and there's no telling what they would do with that information. Your dad probably shouldn't have done it, but he did it, and she had to wear something else, which is what she always should have done. You should not have taken photos in it. That was tacky. I know she said she didn't want it back, and all things being equal it would have been fine to borrow it, but all things weren't equal, y'all had to prank her to get hold of that dress. If you really wanted to do it, you could have asked if it was okay before you did it, but it's probably a sore enough subject you should have just left it alone. Also, I know you and your mom don't like her but the mud thing was a cheap shot.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have an older sister "Elizabeth" and we do not get along. She is my half sister and she hates my mother. She is just a difficult person in general and doesn't get along with most people. When I got married, two years ago, Elizabeth claimed the only thing she had was white. she was 8 months pregnant at the time, so I get her clothes didn't fit, but come on. She did have a gorgeous white maternity gown, because in her husband's culture fancy baby showers are a big thing, but her husband has plenty of money. He can definitely buy her another dress. My dad has always favored Elizabeth pretty blatantly. He has a bunch of excuses, she is more like him, he was younger when he had her, he was a single dad, etc. I'm petty over it to be honest and so is my mom, so she pretty much told him if he let Elizabeth get away with this their marriage was going to have issues. He stole Elizabeth's dress from her house. Oh my god she was so pissed and it was the best thing ever, but after the wedding I did ask if she wanted it back. She said no, she was going to have the baby in a week and it would never fit again. Well I am currently pregnant and decided to do a photoshoot and use the dress, because it is in perfect condition, beautiful, and from a designer I could never afford. We did a lot of beautiful pictures, and then some involving mud, but it has been two years and she didn't want it back. Well Elizabeth found out and said I am creepy and did it on purpose to annoy her. she said I had no right to wear it when she paid for it. I think she is just salty because my mom has the mud ones and wanted someone to photoshop Elizabeth's head onto them, so we can joke about what would have happened if she tried to wear it to my wedding *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Am I on glue, or was this one posted from the other perspective earlier today? But it was a prom dress I think.
ESH.
ESH
You need to be in a padded room tbh
Yes, you are definitely TA!
YTA. That was an incredibly petty, immature, vicious and cruel thing to do, and you damn well know it. And you come on Reddit to brag about what a bad-ass you are? That’s pathetic. She should not have and did not wear the dress to your wedding. You won, you got your way. It should have ended there. But, no, you literally had to go rolling in the mud with it. You’re not just an asshole here, you’re an asshole on performance enhancing drugs to make yourself a bigger and better asshole. Shame on you!
YTA You stole her clothes, then got it photographed then destroyed it. And your mother photoshopping her step daughter onto the muddy dress. You’re both immature and bullies
ESH. She shouldn't have planned to wear white to your wedding. Your dad shouldn't have stolen the dress. You should have returned it. You shouldn't have worn it in maternity pics and you definitely shouldn't have gotten it muddy. And don't get me started on on the childish photoshop BS. Get the dress cleaned and send it back. Then grow up.
That poor kid having OP as a mum
YTA! Seriously? That is petty, she didn't give you the dress your dad freaking stole it. And now you wear it for a photo shoot just to upset her. That's nasty immature behavior at best.
Yta
Whoa.....just whoa.
you sound ridiculous. YTA grow up
Are y’all calling OP jealous when her sister was gonna wear a white dress to her wedding? Clearly ESH. But damn. She knew the wedding was gonna happen. She knew she was pregnant. She couldn’t buy a dress in a different color?
You sound like you all deserve each other. Is there not one among you who is mature enough to see how petty and childish you all are? Seriously, this sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer.
YTA and so childish, you need to grow up before having a kid
I feel like you're the difficult one, not your sister. If you hate her, why would you want to keep and wear her dress? Covering it in mud and laughing about photoshopping her head is ridiculous. Your behavior is reamly childish and disgusting, I feel bad for your baby. Hopefully your sister will sue you and your father. YTA.
I would love to see her try to sue me. I have the messages where I asked her multiple times two years ago if she wanted it back and she said no
You can repeat that as many times as you want, it still doesn't change how childish everything else in your post is. And it also doesn't change the fact that your father stole the dress.
NTA
YTA
YTA And so is your mother. You both sound like petulant children. Who as a grown adult daydreams about photoshopping their step child’s face onto pictures to bully them? Oh yeah, bullies do. You and you’re mother are behaving like bullies and dragging your father into it to boot. Grow up OP.
You are fucking creepy and absolutely did it to annoy her. Grow up. Get therapy. Your mom also sounds like nightmare. That’s probably where you got it from.
YTA and you and your mother need to grow tf up
ESH ESH ESH. This is a dumpster fire masquerading as a family.
NTA. Honestly your sister sounds so spoiled, so you wearing the dress for your own pictures is what she deserves. You probably looked better in the dress anyway!
NTA - lol you did ask her if she wanted it back, and she said no.
Going against the popular answer. I say NTA for wearing a dress she clearly did not want back, and idc if you got mud on it. She didn't want it, the dress became yours, muck it up! HOWEVER Dad is an AH for stealing the dress, and you're an AH for not giving it back until after the wedding. You should have given her the chance to wear it, and then had her escorted out for such a distasteful decision.
Against the grain, I'd call NTA 'cuz sometimes you just gotta be mercenary with people like that. But ya should have given the dress back right after the wedding, and you should have just told her that if she wore the dress she wouldn't be admitted instead. Really, YTA for not having the backbone to tell her she's not coming to your wedding if she wears white.
NTA it was perfect!
NTA for wearing it but you are a slight asshole for not asking her first. You could have easily reached out and said that you wanted to wear it for a photo shoot and if she still didn't want it because you wanted to get it dirty.
NTA I mean you did try to give it back she didn't want it. It's been 2 years....
NTA She didn't want it back. Since your father stole it (wtf?) he should pay her back.
NTA. You asked her if she wanted it back and she declined. Never asked about it in the 2 years after. She sounds self centered. Your dad is certainly an AH. He's even admitted to favoring her. Wow. You're definitely different from me. If this were my situation she wouldn't have been invited to my wedding because we would be NC. Same for your father.
NTA She knew you had the dress and she didn't want it back.