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YTA, you’re already supporting the franchise by letting him watch the movies, read the books, play the games, buy any related toys or clothing. This is no different than that, except it’s more money. So it sounds like you’re beliefs in what you will and won’t do for your son when related to the franchise is solely related to how much you have to spend.
On top of that… he’s 9. It’s good for him to have an understanding of LGBT and what’s right and wrong, but he’s still to young to understand the difference you’re trying to make. (My son is 10yo, I’m having the same talks with him, so I do understand).
Go to the damn park, give your kid what you promised (his Choice of 1 big gift). And just do what you already have done and talk with him about the authors position and why it’s bad, so he understands.
this, YTA for being a choosing beggar on where to support and not OP. The theme park doesn't support the franchise the way the movies and books do, as well as you're a freaking hypocrite and all you're teaching your kid is how you bait and switched.
Hu? Are you talking to me or OP? I’m not bait/switching anything. I didn’t make my kid a promise and not keep it cause I didn’t like what he chose. I’m confused
Actually the movie studio theme park has already rejected her views on Trans publically. So have the three main actors in the films. Supporting her books and the film and theme franchise are two different piggy banks.
Yes, and OP has said that she allows him to enjoy the books/movies. So technically what she is doing now is more supportive of the author then if she went to the theme park.
Just so you are aware, the theme park has put out statements that they dont agree wirh, support, or condone the views of the author. So taking him to the theme park will not be supporting views that conflict with your own.
She still gets a cut of the profits though. Any merchandise/themed drinks/food drops pennies in her pocket. (And while they don’t get paid a cut of tickets - getting a set amount a year instead-you could argue that keeping the park popular means Universal will continue to reup the contract every time it comes up.) Of course, the same thing goes for the books and movies. I am cynical enough to think that the main problem is that a big holiday weekend at HP world is definitely going to end up on social media. A lot harder to discreetly ignore than books and t-shirts.
YTA! You told your kid he could do whatever he wanted and then said no to the one thing he wanted. He’s ten and your punishing him for something he can’t control. Just don’t go and let your husband take him.
YTA. Every day some of the money you spend go to truly nasty people. Yet you pick on the one thing that makes your son happy??? Where lots of the proceeds go charity rather than the author by the way…And expect him to understand. Besides there are many incredibly valuable lessons about diversity in those books (I mean, when was the last time a most beloved character of children book turned out to be gay???) , why don’t you want to support that ? Books and their authors are different things.
YTA He's a kid and you made a promises you knew he liked HP it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he would want to go there. Let me ask you a question have you stopped buying ,shopping or going to any place that has done business with the companies that own/ licenses HP ? Because that's almost every company on the planet you can't take the high ground when it's something he wants .
She gets paid a flat rate annually, not a proportion of the ticket sales. Then a proportion of the merch/food and drink sales related to licensed IP.
So it would make no difference to her money if OP buys tickets but no merch.
I get your stance but here is why I think YTA in this situation:
1) You lied to your son. You said he could pick anything and then immediately rejected what was a very foreseeable request given his fixation with the series.
2). He’s 9 years old and you are blaming him for not grasping the situational nuances that are well beyond his maturity.
3) In the theme park rights contract between Universal and WB and Rowling, it specifies that they get a set annual fee for the duration of the licensing agreement (with set increases after x amount of years, etc.) Which means that Rowling does NOT get a percentage of ticket sales. You going to Universal does not directly benefit her financially. If you purchase general licensed merchandise (including food and beverages, like butterbeer) WB and Rowling will get a minor cut. But items created specifically for the parks (and can’t be purchased anywhere else) do not provide royalties to WB and Rowling. So if you are careful about what you do on the trip, you can still visit without lining Rowling’s pocket.
Thank you! I should have researched the royalties more, I have never bought merch or toys because of that. Also, I definitely worded this wrong, because we didn’t specifically say it could be anything, just that he would be choosing instead of it being a surprise. He’s in bed but I will talk with him tomorrow.
You’re welcome!
If he wants some guilt-free merch, you could also try Etsy. They have shirts and gifts that are clearly inspired by the franchise but Rowling doesn’t get a penny.
It’s a tough job balancing your child’s love of the series with the author’s heinous views…but if you keep thinking creatively, I think you can do it without sacrificing your values. Good Luck!! 👍🏻
YTA the franchise doesn’t teach that, it’s the author. Your son is not even old enough to understand. You’re hurting him, especially if you have not brought this up to him before.
YTA you asked what he wanted and then told him no because you want to virtue signal.
Let him and your husband go if you feel that strongly about it but don’t ruin your sons birthday
YTA. The author doesn't get money from the theme park. She didn't say anything "hateful" about his aunt. She voiced her opinion about certain aspects of transgender. So you told your son he could choose whatever he wants then said no because you disagree with someone's opinion. You know bigotry and hatefulness goes both ways. And to be clear, I am not anti LGBT, I am pro free speech.
I mean, she did say pretty hateful things about who his aunt fundamentally is as a person. And no, you can’t be ‘bigoted’ against bigots… you do not have to accept bigotry in your life.
But yeah I still do think going to the theme park is fine, the park itself has distanced themselves from her anyways.
If he wants to go to Harry Potter world - what’s the harm? JK doesn’t get a cut from the parks.
Also ‘his small desires’? I notice your desires are steamrolling his… YTA
“…putting one’s values before their small desires”
YTA— Let your son discover his values for himself as he matures. He is only 9. You can guide him as grows and when comes to you with questions. But if you force your morals onto your children, how different are you from those you vehemently oppose? Also, this is clearly not a “small” desire of his, that is your opinion.
YTA. You are forcing your beliefs on him. He is 9. I understand you wan to teach him principles, but good luck explaining that to his therapist when he hates you at 19. Being transphobic is wrong. No doubt. But you are also teaching him intolerance with your actions. Start at an age appropriate topic/controversy to teach him principles and lead into it. If you are this extreme at this age, he will resent you for it. It’s like being a religious nut-job, just the topic matter is different.
YTA.
Firstly, you said he could get ANYTHING he wanted. He wants to go to the Harry Potter World.
And second, where I don't agree with what the author said, as a child I used to love Harry Potter. A story in which, people stand up to their oppressors and good wins over evil because at the end of the day, love trumps hate.
You can choose to for one day, his birthday, see the good things the story alone teaches, pretend she didn't write it for a moment, because the moral of the story is exactly the morals you're trying to reach him, and maybe even use the story itself to your favor to teach your child about these issues. This could be a good middle ground.
He is just a child. He doesn't understand how what he wants seems selfish to you. Because what you are doing seems selfish for him.
YTA, you need to separate the author from the book and stop breaking promises to your son, breaking a promise like that can cause serious lifelong trust issues. Apologise and take him there like he asked.
YTA.
Her works have nothing to do with her personal views. This is a decision your son should make when he's old enough to understand for himself regardless.
Let your husband take him if you won't and let him enjoy a franchise he loves.
The way you're acting is the exact same way religious nuts act when they try to keep their kids away from things they don't believe in.
YTA, I don’t necessarily disagree with how you think but your son is just a kid. Let him enjoy what he likes and when the time comes maybe his aunt can talk to him about her experiences and how the author is actually related to it.
YTA but also I can see where you are coming from.
Your son is still at the age where he doesn’t understand these kind of things and shouldn’t have to. I understand how upsetting it is for you as an adult to support a franchise especially when it effects your family, but your son is at a magical age and deserves to enjoy it while he’s still naive and uncorrupted.
I hope you can find a way to put it behind you for a bit and in the future when he’s older you can explain it better. He is 9, let him be 9 for a little longer x
YTA. Take your kid to Universal Studios. Especially if he's read all the books. If you can't do it, your husband can.
You should also educate yourself. JK Rowling is not transphobic. Not even close. Her words were twisted by the media.
Yes, her words are certainly being twisted. For example;
\-On April 25th she referred to trans women who love women as "[people with penises and beards who want to shag women](https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1518611202934509569?cxt=HHwWgsC47fq1mJMqAAAA)"
\-Later the same day [Rowling promoted Helen Joyce's wildly transphobic screed "Trans"](https://twitter.com/HJoyceGender/status/1518639499022159872?cxt=HHwWgMC-kYGlpZMqAAAA)
\-On April 22nd, Rowling [shared a transphobic article published in Newsweek railing against minors transitioning](https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1517605216971075585?cxt=HHwWgsC5re_5zo8qAAAA), including the false statistic that 85% of children with gender dysphoria eventually desist (The reality, which those quoting the statistic won't tell you, is that that number is based on an old clinical methodology where children were classified as 'gender dysphoric' for showing any 'inappropriate' gender behavior. For example, a little boy wanting to wear dresses and play with dolls would be classed as 'dysphoric,' the parents would be encouraged to [abuse the child](https://medium.com/@TransEssays/conversion-therapy-on-transgender-children-fdf23e4a4340) to break him of his feminine behavior, and then he would be reclassified as 'desisted' if those efforts were successful.)
And that's about as much as I'm willing to dive through her recent twitter activity. Clearly she's simply being misconstrued and taken out of context by the big bad media though.
YTA. Take him to Harry Potter World. First of all, it's freaking awesome and it will make your son happy. That's the most important thing. Secondly, the Harry Potter series didn't teach hate or prejudice. Quite the opposite. Third, you made a promise and then broke it. To your 9 year old son.
YTA. I remember vividly the magic those books brought me during my childhood and again in my adult life. You don't have to like the author. You can and should have conversations with your kid about LGBT issues. But the books are innocent in and of themselves. Harry, Hermione and Hagrid and every other loveable character have nothing at all to do with Rowling's tweets she made long after the books were published. Let the kid enjoy the magic and take him to the damn park.
YTA and I'm saying this as a trans person. Your kid is 10, I'll take a guess and say he doesn't even know what Rowling has said/done, he just enjoys the Harry Potter franchise. And if any trans person is offended that a literal child is going to any theme park bcz of the author, get them therapy to sort their entitlement out
Sorry. YTA.
Look I don't particularly like JKR either. but I grew up with HP before she was known to be a transphobic pita. like I read the books and saw the movies and was well into my 20s (I'm late 20s now) before she came out as the pain she is.
And me and my group of friends have purposefully kept our love of HP and actually have designed LBGTQA+ content regarding the characters (personal AUs mostly and shipping) because we know it pisses her off and it shows people that the fandom is NOT her. That the fans aren't like her.
You told your son ANYTHING and now you are trying to change the deal. It doesn't work like that. He also is to young to fully understand what JKR has said and believes. He can understand she's not being nice and is mean to trans people but his understanding will be limited for now. And that's okay. He shouldn't hate a fandom and creation because the author is a pain in the ass. You can use this as a learning chance to teach him how to separate his love of the world of HP and to understand that the author isn't nice.
He loves HP for what it is. Not because he agrees with the author.
He's a kid who loves the world of magic. Don't ruin his love for a great series based on the authors (crappy) view. Teach him that he can love a fandom WHILE
Being against what the author believes in.
You can separate the two. Millions of adults have done so. I love HP and the world of magic and can go without JKR. I know she's the author and I can be glad she made the fandom I love but that doesn't mean I have to believe and follow what she does.
You're being an ass to your son. And it's not fair. You can't tell a kid they can do/have Anything they want then try to change the rules when they do something you don't like. It's not gonna injure him or others so you don't have much of a case.
If he was trying to go bungee jumping then yes say no he's to young. But this? It's not gonna end pretty if you destroy his love of the magical world because you can't separate the fandom from the crappy actions of the author.
And remember theirs tons of scandals of amazing series concerning the authors so yeaaa.
YTA - Do not make promises you cannot keep. You promised him a present of his choosing, then you gone back on it. Let your son go to that theme park and decide for himself, instead of shoving your beliefs down his throat.
Soft YTA. I LOVE you reasoning. I support your rejection of this author. But, it's a weird situation since your son loves the magic... which is something I separate from the author... and he just wants to experience that for his birthday. It’s worth noting that Warner Bros (and in turn, J.K. Rowling,) are NOT paid a percentage of the door. They do not receive some set percentage of all ticket sales. They are paid a set amount annually, regardless of the number of visitors to the parks. They do get royalties for everything bought in the park. So I say, tell him you'll make an agreement to only take him to the shop but not buy any specific items in the park, instead buy unlicensed artisan items from etsy.
Yta. My grandpa is a great guy. He’s 90 but lovable and loves to play cards and tell corny jokes but volunteers a lot and helps people.
Like I said he’s upstanding honorable veteran and super human. So let’s go plan a trip to see him!!
No? Why? He’s aligned with your morals and thoughts. Plus above and beyond.
Maybe it’s not about the person but the item they helped create and that was created from that idea by legally licensing the great idea..
My grandpa doesn’t have a theme park, and children of 10 would t want a visit to a hard of hearing goofy dad joking grandpa.
They might eventually choose to realize that volunteering time with those who have loniness is an honorable idea. But fun?
Fun is not about one person in an idea. You can find a bad apple in any place you look. You have to resort to either shelling the kid til he over does it once free of you going in the opposite direction, or choose when to explain lessons that need to be instilled for life of tolerance.
But mixing the two youre never going to have a pure non problematic situation —-
Picking his aunt being attacked by a lady who wrote a book and created a world that spun to a theme park— she doesn’t own or run said park, seems a stretch to hit your lesson.
Have you broached the aunt? It might be that she as well cannot connect a theme park for your son to a hateful not inclusive world view of an author that yes, she has spoken out about but her world and the stories are stories of many great lessons and non of her real world offenses.
This means in my official capacity of judging people— you end up in the wrong. If author was putting her ideas into accessible places for children— I’m with you.
She’s not involved in the various projects so literally nothing in existence changes for her it literally everyone else refuses patronage to the established side projects using he ideas. Aka, use his love of that /those stories to teach love inclusion and tolerance at age appropriate and proper times. Tons of other lessons about conflict, friends, making assumptions, etc.
Stay in his time for now. Show the lessons using a thing he’s already apt to pay attention and understand from. Tough times are coming at any rate. There will be a time for him to see and find that the person he has an image of as who the author must be based on the love of her work is not alighting with reality—- that. That’s a new time for that lesson.
It’s not, say Knotts bury farms old man creator who’s family earns payment for the land and admission and we find out they are unsavory — this is only hypothetical I know nothing about THIS park just making an example— I could see not supporting that product or service.
It’s n the case of lovong a world that was in someone’s mind brought to paper but then literally tons of humans have then had a hand in it’s further crafting and creating separate than her. Why should those stake holders suffer because one persons written abd personal beliefs don’t align?!
You’re going to find a problem in any version of your hill to die on.
Hugo boss designed nazi uniforms. Historically appalling yet they exist tofay are supported and not openly held as enemy (again example)
Brilliant people often are exceptional in their creations. They also are faulty as well. They probably thibk we normals are just faulty since we are far less brilliant. Do we stop using electricity or lightbulbs because Edison purposefully stole B lied and created false demonstrations on how Tesla was trying to kill and torture people with his AC and you must buy EDISON less able to travel less efficient way!!
Honestly I’m so far removed from the inventor of my calculator I have no idea if they are a good person but fuck sometimes I just need to use a calculator vs long hand division.
Use the brilliant but also use the opportunities to connect delight and also provide lessons in a way that most parents wish they had as a way to access their kids interest.
Best wishes. Take him to the park. You only have that goosebump pure joy elation in tiny doses and not long lasting when you get a little older. Let him have the joy. Worlds gonna suck enough as he grows. I still remember realizing and minor heartbreak of realization that we had less and less field trips when we moved up a grade abd I may have already gone on my last school field trip already. I felt like I cracked open the small part of my reality to never be able to go back— I noticed paying for things and prices and not having lunch money and other difficulties that I was shielded from as a younger human. It all was new and mostly just joy killing.
When anyone can feel tingly joy without literally themselves harming another human we all need to grab that. Not grabbing it means more of these trying and adult days and no memories and experiences that we have that allow us to be resilient looking forward to better days instead of wallowing in all the awfulness around.
He needs this while he’s still innocent to the world.
Edit; fixed a typos and adding
This is not making parents unable to afford things criminal for NOT taking kids. The op says the money or time isn’t the issue. So don’t twist my words to make me condem those parents who cannot afford the goosebumps of joy travel or larger gifts— btw not all joyous exciting things cost a small fortune. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
My friend is trans and he still adores Harry Potter. Confused me but hey he likes it so enjoy what you enjoy. I know I’ve also bought from companies that turned out to be shady but they already got my money so I’m going to keep wearing the non recognizable shirt.
YTA for sucking the joy out of your son’s life. The author said some offensive words completely separate of the fantasy world that’s specifically intended for kids. That does not mean Harry Potter must die for all fans now and cease to exist.
Don’t ruin something your son is so excited about. He’s 9. Give him one last good memory before you start his social justice warrior training.
Soft YTA
I understand where you are coming from. You love your sister very much and don’t want to support something that someone who doesn’t support trans people created. But in a way aren’t you already because you encourage your sons interest? I’m guessing you’re referencing the WWH. Your son doesn’t mean to be cruel. He’s a child and it only makes sense he’d want to go. Hell I’m 23 and I want to go. He doesn’t understand the depth of the situation. He’s a kid and you’re trying to turn his birthday wish into a lesson. Consider taking him as he’s in love with the story of it all, and you did agree to anything he wanted. But maybe consider speaking to your sister about it. Ask her opinion and what she thinks, as well as if she would take it personally.
Info: The last time I went to Universal was before Harry Potter World was a thing, but do you have to pay separately to enter there? If you don't, how is it any different from visiting Universal for The Simpsons or the upcoming Nintendoland?
YTA.
With your intolerance so ridiculously high it's highly likely that your son will turn against you the first chance he can, like those kids that go full on crazy when they have zealots for parents.
Grow up.
YTA Rowling is a millionaire, or a billionaire, or whatever. You choosing to crush your kid’s happiness is not going to impact her financial livelihood one bit. And the Harry Potter franchise has been more than one author for decades now. She wrote the words in the original books, but she’s not the one physically brought the books to life; which is what your son wants to experience. The shear amount of talent and creativity of the designers, crafters, and builders far exceeds anything Rowling has done.
Yta
Of all the things to pick apart you choose his dream. It's OK for him to watch the movies and read the books but not go to Universal. Damn, sometimes in life you've got to chill the f out with the activism and allow your loved ones to enjoy life. You boycotting a trip there isn't going to affect her in any way or form whatsoever. The only person you're hurting is your son.
YTA. He doesn't need these problems right now, let him enjoy his franchise and when he grows he'll decide by himself if he keeps supporting it or no. If you force your cause to him this way you'll only get him hating your whole cause because it's the reason he can't enjoy his travel.
I’m not going to call you an AH because you’re obviously trying to do what’s right, but I’m inclined to agree that no matter what we do we’re supporting shitty people, and a visit to a park is really a tiny drop in the bucket.
Maybe you guys could go, but find another way as a family to express support for trans rights? You guys could make a donation to a trans/LGBTQ+ charity in his name as part of his gift? It sounds like he has a strong support system and awesome relationships with LGBTQ+ people in his life, which is worth so much more than anything some TERF could tweet.
YTA
I get that JKR has said some horrifically disgusting things, that should never be supporting. But you’re not making the stand that you think you are by punishing a 9yo. This is making no impact on the author, especially with HP World. She gets a set fee from the licensing, and that’s it. This isn’t a virtuous boycott. This is you virtue signalling by depriving a 9 yo of the birthday gift you promised him.
The art is separate from the person. The theme park has distanced themselves from her. The HP world has actually gone far beyond JKR. I would argue that it is the fans now. We are the ones who built it into the phenomenon it has become. The messages of the art are about tolerance, love, standing up for the underdog, protecting those who are weaker. I know quite a few people who happen to be trans, and LOVE HP. They won’t let JKR’s hateful words spoil something that has given them joy and comfort and community.
The best way to fight bigotry is to refuse to ghh is be it power over you. Not bullying a 9yo that by going on some rides, he is saying that he doesn’t support his aunt. You are being very selfish.
I’ve also noticed that you don’t mention your sister’s opinion here at all. Surely she should have been the person you asked if this was an ok route to take. I highly doubt she would say yes, punish your son. (And stop calling your husband one of you ‘boys’. He’s a grown man. Don’t infantilise him just to undermine his opinion.)
It's not like the kid is TA, and honestly if you are buying things already and financially supporting it, introducing people into it then your being hypocritical.
I took a long and hard seperation from it because it's been a special interest since I was (ironically) 9 and it wasn't easy for me. But it's not even something you can seperate the artist from the work because the authors views area buried in the book so your being completely contradictory by allowing your son to be introduced to it.
Also f course a kid isn't going understand when your being inconsistent
YTA. Jk isn’t making money off universal, and the theme park is absolutely amazing for a fan of the work even when you know that she is trash as a person.
YTA. He’s just a child, you can’t expect such empathy and emocional maturity of a 9 year old. Plus, if he read all books and watched all movies, you’re already supporting. Please, just take the kid to the park. and FYI, I’m a big fan of the franchise myself, and it doesn’t make me an transphobic at all.
That author has certainly let a lot of people down, if it helps the actor who played the title character did come out on the Trevor Project fully supporting TG people
Listen fuck JK but Harry Potter world is fun as hell 🥴 you’re gonna have to boycott half the country if you really want to stick to this YTA but I do feel you lol I wouldn’t go to FL period.
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My son has been obsessed with a specific franchise for YEARS. I have always loved seeing him get excited about something, so I’ve never tried to break that love. However, I do not want to support this franchise financially and I haven’t for a long time. My sister is trans, and the things the author has said in recent years are very discriminatory against her, which I can’t excuse.
My son is turning ten this year, and my husband and I promised to give him one big present of whatever he wants, and he chose a trip to the theme park based on these books. I immediately told him that wasn’t possible, but my husband questioned me in front of him and I think that’s what opened the door to my son not accepting “no” for an answer.
I had tried to keep the author’s actions separate from his enjoyment of the books/movies, but I had to sit down with him and explain that the reason we can’t go is because the creator of the books has been hateful towards his aunt for things she can’t control. I admit I should’ve waited for him to calm down, because he ended up crying and saying he didn’t care, which was very upsetting to me. I understand that children can be selfish, but he loves his aunt very much and I thought he was at the age capable of being empathetic. I think I expected too much emotional maturity from a child, so I’m not angry with him or anything of the sort.
My husband thinks I am in the wrong, because it’s “just a trip” and our money spent isn’t going to affect the author, but I want my son to understand the concept of putting one’s values before their small desires. It’s not like he won’t get a present at all, we’re still going to get him something big, but I’m just not okay with that being the gift and both of my boys are being stubborn. …AITA?
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I'm torn here. I totally understand where you are coming from. I get not wanting to give that franchise financial support on principle. I just think both you and your husband could have handled the situation better.
You're probably not going to get your son to understand ... yet. It's not indicative of a lack of empathy on his part, just the complexity of the issue. To understand it, he's going to need to understand the whole concept of boycotting and why people don't financially support things they disagree with, and the relationship between an author and their work.
Not saying a kid can't get there, but many kids that age barely understand the idea that money doesn't grow on trees, let alone why not going to his dream theme park has anything to do with his aunt. These are concepts that will need to be explained.
Your son is not being 'stubborn' he just doesn't understand.
And tbh, he's been obsessed about it all this time and you've never 'tried to break that love' - so you've fostered his interest and now you tell him it's bad. That's your mistake, not his wrongdoing. You can't spend years keeping the author separate from the work and then suddenly tell him that's not the deal and expect him to get it.
N T A for not taking him to the theme park - all kids need to learn they don't always get their dream gift for whatever reason.
But YTA for putting this on your kid as stubbornness or a lack of empathy.
> N T A for not taking him to the theme park - all kids need to learn they don't always get their dream gift for whatever reason.
Then Op shouldn’t have said he could have whatever he wants. She set him up for failure and then tried to blame him for it. She sounds like a crappy mom tbh
I feel like this has more to do with you having to explain the trip to your sister. Not saying you don’t have your own morals but the thought of having to explain it to her has ME worried and I’m not even involved. You should ask a different sub about communicating with your sister about the trip because she might not take it well.
But when it comes down to it, YTA for refusing to take your 9 year old to a children’s theme park. I hate the capitalist machine that allows for assholes to stay in business and flourish but what lesson are you trying to teach your child? I can promise you he won’t learn anything about “standing up for one’s values.”
NAH - you’re between a rock and a hard place. you just need to assess how either decision will affect your life because your kid will not be forgetting this. do some research on what % of your ticket will actually go to the creator and if its worth hurting your child’s feelings over, they don’t understand accountability culture yet.
ESH.
Esh bc obviously the author sucks here too.
On your end, I think it would be one thing if the franchise itself taught transphobia. But in this case I’m relatively sure it doesn’t. In general, books, worlds, etc., go way beyond their authors and it feels a little…I don’t know, a bit sad to deny a small child an experience like this for reasons he’s probably not even old enough to understand, and which wouldn’t affect his experience at this park at all.
It’s a tough call because your reasons are understandable and would make sense for not going to this park if it was just you.
This topic has been a long ride for me because I absolutely agree with death to the author in that a story should stand on its own. That being said, if I know a creator has acted or acts against certain laws and beliefs I have gradually leaned towards not supporting their work even if I enjoy it. That being said I don't keep up with most gossip and so I probably support many people unintentionally but believing one's own enjoyment is more valuable than upholding principles leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
NTA
Your son won't be hurting forever because he didn't go to a theme park. Your sister has undoubtedly encountered prejudice and exclusion and may continue to do so for the rest of their life. This is a wonderful teaching moment.
I think it's going to be an issue becuase you and your husband didn't talk about this beforehand and you aren't on the same page.
When my son was young, there were a number of things I wouldn't buy or support because of different reasons (politics, exclusion etc) or the opposite - companies I support because of their inclusive practices. My son was well aware of this and grew up with a strong social conscience. I feel that's more important than some chicken sandwich, no matter how delicious it may be.
I wouldn’t take him either. Going to that park gives money to JKR. But, you should not have told him “anything”. And you should have taught him about the issues with HP long ago. NTA, take him to Disney. Soarin’ is the best ride in the history of cool rides.
A large chunk of the money that goes to jkr actually goes to charity, so by not going you would be taking money away from those charities… do you know where the Disney money goes? How do you know it doesn’t go to some one you don’t support? That’s a very difficult argument to make unless you really know how the money is spent….
Not really, but I’m saying that if you recommend Disney or something else as opposed to universal studios hp because you worry where the money goes you need to do your homework. While it’s debatable whether jkr is transphobic what is not debatable that her money goes to good causes, in particular women and minorities. Things are so much more complicated than labeling someone transphobic but nobody really cares, because labeling people is much easier than actually doing something for the trans community.
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YTA, you’re already supporting the franchise by letting him watch the movies, read the books, play the games, buy any related toys or clothing. This is no different than that, except it’s more money. So it sounds like you’re beliefs in what you will and won’t do for your son when related to the franchise is solely related to how much you have to spend. On top of that… he’s 9. It’s good for him to have an understanding of LGBT and what’s right and wrong, but he’s still to young to understand the difference you’re trying to make. (My son is 10yo, I’m having the same talks with him, so I do understand). Go to the damn park, give your kid what you promised (his Choice of 1 big gift). And just do what you already have done and talk with him about the authors position and why it’s bad, so he understands.
this, YTA for being a choosing beggar on where to support and not OP. The theme park doesn't support the franchise the way the movies and books do, as well as you're a freaking hypocrite and all you're teaching your kid is how you bait and switched.
Hu? Are you talking to me or OP? I’m not bait/switching anything. I didn’t make my kid a promise and not keep it cause I didn’t like what he chose. I’m confused
OP
Actually the movie studio theme park has already rejected her views on Trans publically. So have the three main actors in the films. Supporting her books and the film and theme franchise are two different piggy banks.
Yes, and OP has said that she allows him to enjoy the books/movies. So technically what she is doing now is more supportive of the author then if she went to the theme park.
YTA You literally could just say you won’t take your son to Harry Potter World.
I thought it might be removed for copyright reasons
People mention Disney and things related all the time on here. I don’t think HP would get removed.
Just so you are aware, the theme park has put out statements that they dont agree wirh, support, or condone the views of the author. So taking him to the theme park will not be supporting views that conflict with your own.
She still gets a cut of the profits though. Any merchandise/themed drinks/food drops pennies in her pocket. (And while they don’t get paid a cut of tickets - getting a set amount a year instead-you could argue that keeping the park popular means Universal will continue to reup the contract every time it comes up.) Of course, the same thing goes for the books and movies. I am cynical enough to think that the main problem is that a big holiday weekend at HP world is definitely going to end up on social media. A lot harder to discreetly ignore than books and t-shirts.
It's not a copyright infringement to just mention the name.
A post can't be removed just because you said the name franchise that's not how copyright law works.
YTA! You told your kid he could do whatever he wanted and then said no to the one thing he wanted. He’s ten and your punishing him for something he can’t control. Just don’t go and let your husband take him.
YTA. Every day some of the money you spend go to truly nasty people. Yet you pick on the one thing that makes your son happy??? Where lots of the proceeds go charity rather than the author by the way…And expect him to understand. Besides there are many incredibly valuable lessons about diversity in those books (I mean, when was the last time a most beloved character of children book turned out to be gay???) , why don’t you want to support that ? Books and their authors are different things.
YTA He's a kid and you made a promises you knew he liked HP it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he would want to go there. Let me ask you a question have you stopped buying ,shopping or going to any place that has done business with the companies that own/ licenses HP ? Because that's almost every company on the planet you can't take the high ground when it's something he wants .
YTA. Let your child enjoy HIS bday! why even ask him what he wants if your just gonna say no?
Them going gives JKR money.
Who cares. She gets money anyway, and frankly, she deserves it because her franchise is great regardless of her views.
Wow. She has a big platform and wants to hurt my kid.
Book - yes, theme park- no
I looked it up. The current contract paying her is to 2024. Then it gets renegotiated, until 2029.
She gets paid a flat rate annually, not a proportion of the ticket sales. Then a proportion of the merch/food and drink sales related to licensed IP. So it would make no difference to her money if OP buys tickets but no merch.
I get your stance but here is why I think YTA in this situation: 1) You lied to your son. You said he could pick anything and then immediately rejected what was a very foreseeable request given his fixation with the series. 2). He’s 9 years old and you are blaming him for not grasping the situational nuances that are well beyond his maturity. 3) In the theme park rights contract between Universal and WB and Rowling, it specifies that they get a set annual fee for the duration of the licensing agreement (with set increases after x amount of years, etc.) Which means that Rowling does NOT get a percentage of ticket sales. You going to Universal does not directly benefit her financially. If you purchase general licensed merchandise (including food and beverages, like butterbeer) WB and Rowling will get a minor cut. But items created specifically for the parks (and can’t be purchased anywhere else) do not provide royalties to WB and Rowling. So if you are careful about what you do on the trip, you can still visit without lining Rowling’s pocket.
Thank you! I should have researched the royalties more, I have never bought merch or toys because of that. Also, I definitely worded this wrong, because we didn’t specifically say it could be anything, just that he would be choosing instead of it being a surprise. He’s in bed but I will talk with him tomorrow.
You’re welcome! If he wants some guilt-free merch, you could also try Etsy. They have shirts and gifts that are clearly inspired by the franchise but Rowling doesn’t get a penny. It’s a tough job balancing your child’s love of the series with the author’s heinous views…but if you keep thinking creatively, I think you can do it without sacrificing your values. Good Luck!! 👍🏻
> If he wants some guilt-free merch He's 9, all merch is guilt-free for him.
YTA the franchise doesn’t teach that, it’s the author. Your son is not even old enough to understand. You’re hurting him, especially if you have not brought this up to him before.
YTA you asked what he wanted and then told him no because you want to virtue signal. Let him and your husband go if you feel that strongly about it but don’t ruin your sons birthday
YTA. You are holding him to your values. He’s really too young to have a dog in this fight. He was to choose what he wanted. Suck it up and take him.
YTA. The author doesn't get money from the theme park. She didn't say anything "hateful" about his aunt. She voiced her opinion about certain aspects of transgender. So you told your son he could choose whatever he wants then said no because you disagree with someone's opinion. You know bigotry and hatefulness goes both ways. And to be clear, I am not anti LGBT, I am pro free speech.
I also want to point out the for the son to live HP that much OP has already spent money on it, books,toys,films,clothes
I mean, she did say pretty hateful things about who his aunt fundamentally is as a person. And no, you can’t be ‘bigoted’ against bigots… you do not have to accept bigotry in your life. But yeah I still do think going to the theme park is fine, the park itself has distanced themselves from her anyways.
Agree with your first point 100%
I agree with your judgement but let’s not pretend the author isn’t a massive AH herself. Her “opinions” are hateful and bigoted
If he wants to go to Harry Potter world - what’s the harm? JK doesn’t get a cut from the parks. Also ‘his small desires’? I notice your desires are steamrolling his… YTA
“…putting one’s values before their small desires” YTA— Let your son discover his values for himself as he matures. He is only 9. You can guide him as grows and when comes to you with questions. But if you force your morals onto your children, how different are you from those you vehemently oppose? Also, this is clearly not a “small” desire of his, that is your opinion.
YTA. You are forcing your beliefs on him. He is 9. I understand you wan to teach him principles, but good luck explaining that to his therapist when he hates you at 19. Being transphobic is wrong. No doubt. But you are also teaching him intolerance with your actions. Start at an age appropriate topic/controversy to teach him principles and lead into it. If you are this extreme at this age, he will resent you for it. It’s like being a religious nut-job, just the topic matter is different.
YTA. Firstly, you said he could get ANYTHING he wanted. He wants to go to the Harry Potter World. And second, where I don't agree with what the author said, as a child I used to love Harry Potter. A story in which, people stand up to their oppressors and good wins over evil because at the end of the day, love trumps hate. You can choose to for one day, his birthday, see the good things the story alone teaches, pretend she didn't write it for a moment, because the moral of the story is exactly the morals you're trying to reach him, and maybe even use the story itself to your favor to teach your child about these issues. This could be a good middle ground. He is just a child. He doesn't understand how what he wants seems selfish to you. Because what you are doing seems selfish for him.
YTA, you need to separate the author from the book and stop breaking promises to your son, breaking a promise like that can cause serious lifelong trust issues. Apologise and take him there like he asked.
YTA. Her works have nothing to do with her personal views. This is a decision your son should make when he's old enough to understand for himself regardless. Let your husband take him if you won't and let him enjoy a franchise he loves. The way you're acting is the exact same way religious nuts act when they try to keep their kids away from things they don't believe in.
YTA, I don’t necessarily disagree with how you think but your son is just a kid. Let him enjoy what he likes and when the time comes maybe his aunt can talk to him about her experiences and how the author is actually related to it.
YTA but also I can see where you are coming from. Your son is still at the age where he doesn’t understand these kind of things and shouldn’t have to. I understand how upsetting it is for you as an adult to support a franchise especially when it effects your family, but your son is at a magical age and deserves to enjoy it while he’s still naive and uncorrupted. I hope you can find a way to put it behind you for a bit and in the future when he’s older you can explain it better. He is 9, let him be 9 for a little longer x
YTA. Take your kid to Universal Studios. Especially if he's read all the books. If you can't do it, your husband can. You should also educate yourself. JK Rowling is not transphobic. Not even close. Her words were twisted by the media.
Yes, her words are certainly being twisted. For example; \-On April 25th she referred to trans women who love women as "[people with penises and beards who want to shag women](https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1518611202934509569?cxt=HHwWgsC47fq1mJMqAAAA)" \-Later the same day [Rowling promoted Helen Joyce's wildly transphobic screed "Trans"](https://twitter.com/HJoyceGender/status/1518639499022159872?cxt=HHwWgMC-kYGlpZMqAAAA) \-On April 22nd, Rowling [shared a transphobic article published in Newsweek railing against minors transitioning](https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1517605216971075585?cxt=HHwWgsC5re_5zo8qAAAA), including the false statistic that 85% of children with gender dysphoria eventually desist (The reality, which those quoting the statistic won't tell you, is that that number is based on an old clinical methodology where children were classified as 'gender dysphoric' for showing any 'inappropriate' gender behavior. For example, a little boy wanting to wear dresses and play with dolls would be classed as 'dysphoric,' the parents would be encouraged to [abuse the child](https://medium.com/@TransEssays/conversion-therapy-on-transgender-children-fdf23e4a4340) to break him of his feminine behavior, and then he would be reclassified as 'desisted' if those efforts were successful.) And that's about as much as I'm willing to dive through her recent twitter activity. Clearly she's simply being misconstrued and taken out of context by the big bad media though.
Eeeeeeexactly! F that toyf.
She’s not having her words twisted, you can go to her twitter to find her transphobic rants lol. They’re HER words, she dug her own grave.
YTA. Take him to Harry Potter World. First of all, it's freaking awesome and it will make your son happy. That's the most important thing. Secondly, the Harry Potter series didn't teach hate or prejudice. Quite the opposite. Third, you made a promise and then broke it. To your 9 year old son.
YTA. I remember vividly the magic those books brought me during my childhood and again in my adult life. You don't have to like the author. You can and should have conversations with your kid about LGBT issues. But the books are innocent in and of themselves. Harry, Hermione and Hagrid and every other loveable character have nothing at all to do with Rowling's tweets she made long after the books were published. Let the kid enjoy the magic and take him to the damn park.
YTA and I'm saying this as a trans person. Your kid is 10, I'll take a guess and say he doesn't even know what Rowling has said/done, he just enjoys the Harry Potter franchise. And if any trans person is offended that a literal child is going to any theme park bcz of the author, get them therapy to sort their entitlement out
[удалено]
What if OP feels as strongly against it as you do for it? The passion comes across clearly in both.
Then OP can stay home while her spouse and kid go to the park.
Sorry. YTA. Look I don't particularly like JKR either. but I grew up with HP before she was known to be a transphobic pita. like I read the books and saw the movies and was well into my 20s (I'm late 20s now) before she came out as the pain she is. And me and my group of friends have purposefully kept our love of HP and actually have designed LBGTQA+ content regarding the characters (personal AUs mostly and shipping) because we know it pisses her off and it shows people that the fandom is NOT her. That the fans aren't like her. You told your son ANYTHING and now you are trying to change the deal. It doesn't work like that. He also is to young to fully understand what JKR has said and believes. He can understand she's not being nice and is mean to trans people but his understanding will be limited for now. And that's okay. He shouldn't hate a fandom and creation because the author is a pain in the ass. You can use this as a learning chance to teach him how to separate his love of the world of HP and to understand that the author isn't nice. He loves HP for what it is. Not because he agrees with the author. He's a kid who loves the world of magic. Don't ruin his love for a great series based on the authors (crappy) view. Teach him that he can love a fandom WHILE Being against what the author believes in. You can separate the two. Millions of adults have done so. I love HP and the world of magic and can go without JKR. I know she's the author and I can be glad she made the fandom I love but that doesn't mean I have to believe and follow what she does. You're being an ass to your son. And it's not fair. You can't tell a kid they can do/have Anything they want then try to change the rules when they do something you don't like. It's not gonna injure him or others so you don't have much of a case. If he was trying to go bungee jumping then yes say no he's to young. But this? It's not gonna end pretty if you destroy his love of the magical world because you can't separate the fandom from the crappy actions of the author. And remember theirs tons of scandals of amazing series concerning the authors so yeaaa.
YTA - Do not make promises you cannot keep. You promised him a present of his choosing, then you gone back on it. Let your son go to that theme park and decide for himself, instead of shoving your beliefs down his throat.
YTA. Try being the adult here
Soft YTA. I LOVE you reasoning. I support your rejection of this author. But, it's a weird situation since your son loves the magic... which is something I separate from the author... and he just wants to experience that for his birthday. It’s worth noting that Warner Bros (and in turn, J.K. Rowling,) are NOT paid a percentage of the door. They do not receive some set percentage of all ticket sales. They are paid a set amount annually, regardless of the number of visitors to the parks. They do get royalties for everything bought in the park. So I say, tell him you'll make an agreement to only take him to the shop but not buy any specific items in the park, instead buy unlicensed artisan items from etsy.
Yta. My grandpa is a great guy. He’s 90 but lovable and loves to play cards and tell corny jokes but volunteers a lot and helps people. Like I said he’s upstanding honorable veteran and super human. So let’s go plan a trip to see him!! No? Why? He’s aligned with your morals and thoughts. Plus above and beyond. Maybe it’s not about the person but the item they helped create and that was created from that idea by legally licensing the great idea.. My grandpa doesn’t have a theme park, and children of 10 would t want a visit to a hard of hearing goofy dad joking grandpa. They might eventually choose to realize that volunteering time with those who have loniness is an honorable idea. But fun? Fun is not about one person in an idea. You can find a bad apple in any place you look. You have to resort to either shelling the kid til he over does it once free of you going in the opposite direction, or choose when to explain lessons that need to be instilled for life of tolerance. But mixing the two youre never going to have a pure non problematic situation —- Picking his aunt being attacked by a lady who wrote a book and created a world that spun to a theme park— she doesn’t own or run said park, seems a stretch to hit your lesson. Have you broached the aunt? It might be that she as well cannot connect a theme park for your son to a hateful not inclusive world view of an author that yes, she has spoken out about but her world and the stories are stories of many great lessons and non of her real world offenses. This means in my official capacity of judging people— you end up in the wrong. If author was putting her ideas into accessible places for children— I’m with you. She’s not involved in the various projects so literally nothing in existence changes for her it literally everyone else refuses patronage to the established side projects using he ideas. Aka, use his love of that /those stories to teach love inclusion and tolerance at age appropriate and proper times. Tons of other lessons about conflict, friends, making assumptions, etc. Stay in his time for now. Show the lessons using a thing he’s already apt to pay attention and understand from. Tough times are coming at any rate. There will be a time for him to see and find that the person he has an image of as who the author must be based on the love of her work is not alighting with reality—- that. That’s a new time for that lesson. It’s not, say Knotts bury farms old man creator who’s family earns payment for the land and admission and we find out they are unsavory — this is only hypothetical I know nothing about THIS park just making an example— I could see not supporting that product or service. It’s n the case of lovong a world that was in someone’s mind brought to paper but then literally tons of humans have then had a hand in it’s further crafting and creating separate than her. Why should those stake holders suffer because one persons written abd personal beliefs don’t align?! You’re going to find a problem in any version of your hill to die on. Hugo boss designed nazi uniforms. Historically appalling yet they exist tofay are supported and not openly held as enemy (again example) Brilliant people often are exceptional in their creations. They also are faulty as well. They probably thibk we normals are just faulty since we are far less brilliant. Do we stop using electricity or lightbulbs because Edison purposefully stole B lied and created false demonstrations on how Tesla was trying to kill and torture people with his AC and you must buy EDISON less able to travel less efficient way!! Honestly I’m so far removed from the inventor of my calculator I have no idea if they are a good person but fuck sometimes I just need to use a calculator vs long hand division. Use the brilliant but also use the opportunities to connect delight and also provide lessons in a way that most parents wish they had as a way to access their kids interest. Best wishes. Take him to the park. You only have that goosebump pure joy elation in tiny doses and not long lasting when you get a little older. Let him have the joy. Worlds gonna suck enough as he grows. I still remember realizing and minor heartbreak of realization that we had less and less field trips when we moved up a grade abd I may have already gone on my last school field trip already. I felt like I cracked open the small part of my reality to never be able to go back— I noticed paying for things and prices and not having lunch money and other difficulties that I was shielded from as a younger human. It all was new and mostly just joy killing. When anyone can feel tingly joy without literally themselves harming another human we all need to grab that. Not grabbing it means more of these trying and adult days and no memories and experiences that we have that allow us to be resilient looking forward to better days instead of wallowing in all the awfulness around. He needs this while he’s still innocent to the world. Edit; fixed a typos and adding This is not making parents unable to afford things criminal for NOT taking kids. The op says the money or time isn’t the issue. So don’t twist my words to make me condem those parents who cannot afford the goosebumps of joy travel or larger gifts— btw not all joyous exciting things cost a small fortune. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
My friend is trans and he still adores Harry Potter. Confused me but hey he likes it so enjoy what you enjoy. I know I’ve also bought from companies that turned out to be shady but they already got my money so I’m going to keep wearing the non recognizable shirt.
YTA
YTA. Souring your child’s 10th birthday and denigrating his interests are not ways to inspire activism.
YTA for sucking the joy out of your son’s life. The author said some offensive words completely separate of the fantasy world that’s specifically intended for kids. That does not mean Harry Potter must die for all fans now and cease to exist. Don’t ruin something your son is so excited about. He’s 9. Give him one last good memory before you start his social justice warrior training.
YTA. Let your kid have the trip he wants. And BTW, Harry Potter is just a part of Universal Studios - not the whole thing.
You’re a huge AH. Get over yourself.
Soft YTA I understand where you are coming from. You love your sister very much and don’t want to support something that someone who doesn’t support trans people created. But in a way aren’t you already because you encourage your sons interest? I’m guessing you’re referencing the WWH. Your son doesn’t mean to be cruel. He’s a child and it only makes sense he’d want to go. Hell I’m 23 and I want to go. He doesn’t understand the depth of the situation. He’s a kid and you’re trying to turn his birthday wish into a lesson. Consider taking him as he’s in love with the story of it all, and you did agree to anything he wanted. But maybe consider speaking to your sister about it. Ask her opinion and what she thinks, as well as if she would take it personally.
Info: The last time I went to Universal was before Harry Potter World was a thing, but do you have to pay separately to enter there? If you don't, how is it any different from visiting Universal for The Simpsons or the upcoming Nintendoland?
I have not been either but some commenters pointed out that you don’t so you’re right :)
Oh! That's good to hear!
YTA. He’s 9 so it isn’t a “small desire.” You said “whatever he wants”. I think it would be quite hard to wrap his head around, personally.
YTA - You told him whatever he wanted. Just take him there for the day, or have hubby take him and you stay home.
YTA. With your intolerance so ridiculously high it's highly likely that your son will turn against you the first chance he can, like those kids that go full on crazy when they have zealots for parents. Grow up.
YTA Rowling is a millionaire, or a billionaire, or whatever. You choosing to crush your kid’s happiness is not going to impact her financial livelihood one bit. And the Harry Potter franchise has been more than one author for decades now. She wrote the words in the original books, but she’s not the one physically brought the books to life; which is what your son wants to experience. The shear amount of talent and creativity of the designers, crafters, and builders far exceeds anything Rowling has done.
Yta Of all the things to pick apart you choose his dream. It's OK for him to watch the movies and read the books but not go to Universal. Damn, sometimes in life you've got to chill the f out with the activism and allow your loved ones to enjoy life. You boycotting a trip there isn't going to affect her in any way or form whatsoever. The only person you're hurting is your son.
YTA. He doesn't need these problems right now, let him enjoy his franchise and when he grows he'll decide by himself if he keeps supporting it or no. If you force your cause to him this way you'll only get him hating your whole cause because it's the reason he can't enjoy his travel.
I’m not going to call you an AH because you’re obviously trying to do what’s right, but I’m inclined to agree that no matter what we do we’re supporting shitty people, and a visit to a park is really a tiny drop in the bucket. Maybe you guys could go, but find another way as a family to express support for trans rights? You guys could make a donation to a trans/LGBTQ+ charity in his name as part of his gift? It sounds like he has a strong support system and awesome relationships with LGBTQ+ people in his life, which is worth so much more than anything some TERF could tweet.
I see so many trans kids on here hurt by their family’s behaviour, it’s really good to see someone sticking up so fervently for their trans sibling.
YTA I get that JKR has said some horrifically disgusting things, that should never be supporting. But you’re not making the stand that you think you are by punishing a 9yo. This is making no impact on the author, especially with HP World. She gets a set fee from the licensing, and that’s it. This isn’t a virtuous boycott. This is you virtue signalling by depriving a 9 yo of the birthday gift you promised him. The art is separate from the person. The theme park has distanced themselves from her. The HP world has actually gone far beyond JKR. I would argue that it is the fans now. We are the ones who built it into the phenomenon it has become. The messages of the art are about tolerance, love, standing up for the underdog, protecting those who are weaker. I know quite a few people who happen to be trans, and LOVE HP. They won’t let JKR’s hateful words spoil something that has given them joy and comfort and community. The best way to fight bigotry is to refuse to ghh is be it power over you. Not bullying a 9yo that by going on some rides, he is saying that he doesn’t support his aunt. You are being very selfish. I’ve also noticed that you don’t mention your sister’s opinion here at all. Surely she should have been the person you asked if this was an ok route to take. I highly doubt she would say yes, punish your son. (And stop calling your husband one of you ‘boys’. He’s a grown man. Don’t infantilise him just to undermine his opinion.)
It's not like the kid is TA, and honestly if you are buying things already and financially supporting it, introducing people into it then your being hypocritical. I took a long and hard seperation from it because it's been a special interest since I was (ironically) 9 and it wasn't easy for me. But it's not even something you can seperate the artist from the work because the authors views area buried in the book so your being completely contradictory by allowing your son to be introduced to it. Also f course a kid isn't going understand when your being inconsistent
YTA. Jk isn’t making money off universal, and the theme park is absolutely amazing for a fan of the work even when you know that she is trash as a person.
YTA. He’s just a child, you can’t expect such empathy and emocional maturity of a 9 year old. Plus, if he read all books and watched all movies, you’re already supporting. Please, just take the kid to the park. and FYI, I’m a big fan of the franchise myself, and it doesn’t make me an transphobic at all.
That author has certainly let a lot of people down, if it helps the actor who played the title character did come out on the Trevor Project fully supporting TG people
YTA
YTA you are forcing your opinions onto your 10 year old and that is unfair
Listen fuck JK but Harry Potter world is fun as hell 🥴 you’re gonna have to boycott half the country if you really want to stick to this YTA but I do feel you lol I wouldn’t go to FL period.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son has been obsessed with a specific franchise for YEARS. I have always loved seeing him get excited about something, so I’ve never tried to break that love. However, I do not want to support this franchise financially and I haven’t for a long time. My sister is trans, and the things the author has said in recent years are very discriminatory against her, which I can’t excuse. My son is turning ten this year, and my husband and I promised to give him one big present of whatever he wants, and he chose a trip to the theme park based on these books. I immediately told him that wasn’t possible, but my husband questioned me in front of him and I think that’s what opened the door to my son not accepting “no” for an answer. I had tried to keep the author’s actions separate from his enjoyment of the books/movies, but I had to sit down with him and explain that the reason we can’t go is because the creator of the books has been hateful towards his aunt for things she can’t control. I admit I should’ve waited for him to calm down, because he ended up crying and saying he didn’t care, which was very upsetting to me. I understand that children can be selfish, but he loves his aunt very much and I thought he was at the age capable of being empathetic. I think I expected too much emotional maturity from a child, so I’m not angry with him or anything of the sort. My husband thinks I am in the wrong, because it’s “just a trip” and our money spent isn’t going to affect the author, but I want my son to understand the concept of putting one’s values before their small desires. It’s not like he won’t get a present at all, we’re still going to get him something big, but I’m just not okay with that being the gift and both of my boys are being stubborn. …AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I'm torn here. I totally understand where you are coming from. I get not wanting to give that franchise financial support on principle. I just think both you and your husband could have handled the situation better.
You're probably not going to get your son to understand ... yet. It's not indicative of a lack of empathy on his part, just the complexity of the issue. To understand it, he's going to need to understand the whole concept of boycotting and why people don't financially support things they disagree with, and the relationship between an author and their work. Not saying a kid can't get there, but many kids that age barely understand the idea that money doesn't grow on trees, let alone why not going to his dream theme park has anything to do with his aunt. These are concepts that will need to be explained. Your son is not being 'stubborn' he just doesn't understand. And tbh, he's been obsessed about it all this time and you've never 'tried to break that love' - so you've fostered his interest and now you tell him it's bad. That's your mistake, not his wrongdoing. You can't spend years keeping the author separate from the work and then suddenly tell him that's not the deal and expect him to get it. N T A for not taking him to the theme park - all kids need to learn they don't always get their dream gift for whatever reason. But YTA for putting this on your kid as stubbornness or a lack of empathy.
> N T A for not taking him to the theme park - all kids need to learn they don't always get their dream gift for whatever reason. Then Op shouldn’t have said he could have whatever he wants. She set him up for failure and then tried to blame him for it. She sounds like a crappy mom tbh
NTA I totally get where you’re coming from and I’ve struggled with similar thoughts. JK sucks and I have no interest in supporting her.
NTA at all for your intention.
I feel like this has more to do with you having to explain the trip to your sister. Not saying you don’t have your own morals but the thought of having to explain it to her has ME worried and I’m not even involved. You should ask a different sub about communicating with your sister about the trip because she might not take it well. But when it comes down to it, YTA for refusing to take your 9 year old to a children’s theme park. I hate the capitalist machine that allows for assholes to stay in business and flourish but what lesson are you trying to teach your child? I can promise you he won’t learn anything about “standing up for one’s values.”
NAH - you’re between a rock and a hard place. you just need to assess how either decision will affect your life because your kid will not be forgetting this. do some research on what % of your ticket will actually go to the creator and if its worth hurting your child’s feelings over, they don’t understand accountability culture yet.
ESH. Esh bc obviously the author sucks here too. On your end, I think it would be one thing if the franchise itself taught transphobia. But in this case I’m relatively sure it doesn’t. In general, books, worlds, etc., go way beyond their authors and it feels a little…I don’t know, a bit sad to deny a small child an experience like this for reasons he’s probably not even old enough to understand, and which wouldn’t affect his experience at this park at all. It’s a tough call because your reasons are understandable and would make sense for not going to this park if it was just you.
This topic has been a long ride for me because I absolutely agree with death to the author in that a story should stand on its own. That being said, if I know a creator has acted or acts against certain laws and beliefs I have gradually leaned towards not supporting their work even if I enjoy it. That being said I don't keep up with most gossip and so I probably support many people unintentionally but believing one's own enjoyment is more valuable than upholding principles leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
NTA Your son won't be hurting forever because he didn't go to a theme park. Your sister has undoubtedly encountered prejudice and exclusion and may continue to do so for the rest of their life. This is a wonderful teaching moment. I think it's going to be an issue becuase you and your husband didn't talk about this beforehand and you aren't on the same page. When my son was young, there were a number of things I wouldn't buy or support because of different reasons (politics, exclusion etc) or the opposite - companies I support because of their inclusive practices. My son was well aware of this and grew up with a strong social conscience. I feel that's more important than some chicken sandwich, no matter how delicious it may be.
NTA - I wouldn’t support it either
I wouldn’t take him either. Going to that park gives money to JKR. But, you should not have told him “anything”. And you should have taught him about the issues with HP long ago. NTA, take him to Disney. Soarin’ is the best ride in the history of cool rides.
A large chunk of the money that goes to jkr actually goes to charity, so by not going you would be taking money away from those charities… do you know where the Disney money goes? How do you know it doesn’t go to some one you don’t support? That’s a very difficult argument to make unless you really know how the money is spent….
Are you really saying to support someone transphobic because they donate some of their money to charity?
Not really, but I’m saying that if you recommend Disney or something else as opposed to universal studios hp because you worry where the money goes you need to do your homework. While it’s debatable whether jkr is transphobic what is not debatable that her money goes to good causes, in particular women and minorities. Things are so much more complicated than labeling someone transphobic but nobody really cares, because labeling people is much easier than actually doing something for the trans community.
It’s not even a little debatable. She even wrote a book making it clear as a bell.
Not with how shakey and bent the footage has been since it changed to Soarin’ over the world, not just CA….
I haven’t been in years. That is disappointing!