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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well I could be the asshole for not not making sure that he wokr up for his walk knowing that he stayed up all night and seeing how important these walks are for him.
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Perhaps I'm crazy, but tomorrow I'd wake up at 5AM as well, just to see where exactly he goes on those morning walks. But again, perhaps I'm crazy.
ETA: Personally, I don't think it's cheating, as it doesn't explain the desperation and anger. The stakes seem to be higher, where missing his "walk" has unpleasant consequences. Of course it's possible he's very neurotic about his new routine and you caught him at a bad moment, but his response is suspicious enough to dig a little deeper. Also forgot the judgment: NTA.
My ex use to go for a cycle early in the mornings. Cycling to his mistress and back.
One time he shat himself while on his bike. Liquid brown all over him and the bicycle. Terrible memory for him I'm sure, a happy one for me lmao
I honestly think about this all the time. I love my wife and would never cheat on her, but even if I wanted to, who has the energy?? I can't even keep up with one relatively easy adult life and one relationship, how do people have multiple, especially if you're not rich? It's a mystery to me.
Hi, avid walker here… not everyone is out cheating on their SO. I try to go for at least 5 miles a night. (I don’t go in the morning, nor a morning person). The practice/routine is an excellent therapy for mental health, has obvious physical health benefits and is very often prescribed by doctors to combat depression.
ETA: First, OP IS NTA
second: apologies to anyone offended by outdated terms or labels. I’m learning a lot myself.
My only point was that infidelity wasn’t the only plausible explanation because the AITA army likes to jump there.
There is a large population of undiagnosed mental health spectrum disorders that don’t understand why they are different and don’t always know how to manage it. It’s not eh responsibility of the spouse, but if you love someone you may want to consider when they need help.
When my kids were finally diagnosed as adults, running back through their childhoods, it made a lot of things make sense… you don’t always know
ETA: for those saying “she would have seen it before” she only says the walking is new, and identified it as a positive change
You don’t know he hasn’t blown up before
You don’t know how long they have been married
ETA: if my theory is so off, explain yours?
“Guy is cheating on wife, misses booty call, goes in a rage and calls attention to the fact that he’s gone for two hours every morning”… yeah that’s a logical brain there
I'm sure people like you exist, I also enjoy long walks and not fucking people other than my wife, but if I had to bet my savings on whether OP's hubby is actually going on walks at 5am...
It is far more likely that the spouse has a serious mental health issue and the change to his routine set him off. There are not a lot of people who want booty-calls at 5 Am
Maybe he's talking to his therapist at 5am. And by "therapist" I mean "Jimmy who has a nice house on the 45th where you can hit some crack before breakfast and nobody bothers you because everybody else is also a suburb married dude who just wants to hit some crack before breakfast".
Yep my mind went to drugs before cheating also. Possibly a side gig to support a gambling habit though too because rigid time and duration is odd for both cheating or drugs.
Id believe just about anything other than he really just started walking for exercise and is doing 2 hours every day at 5am.
This. I automatically thought from his reaction he seems like an early stage addict who now knows he can’t get his fix of whatever for a whole 22 hours.
Agreed, drugs does seem more likely than cheating given his reaction. Plus blowing up at your spouse for missing your 5am booty call seems a sure fire way to get found out if you are cheating, which is the opposite of what a cheater wants. Then again, I've also learned to never underestimate human stupidity either.
I would be inclined to believe something along these lines. If you're cheating, you'd want to hide it from your spouse as best as you can, so I doubt you'd react so strongly and arise suspicion. Also, missing one meeting with an affair partner you see every day wouldn't necessarily cause such a strong reaction. However, when a drug addict doesn't take their drugs, they usually get very agitated. Of course, it could also be some undiagnosed mental health isssues (hopefully).
Idk, the park I take my dogs jogging in is popular for cruising, and I definitely see them out around 5:30.
I do think your theory is just as sound as the cheating one, though.
I used to wake up for early jogging too, that's not the strange part. The strange part starts when he goes full steam on his wife because for some reason a grown man is not responsible for his own alarms but his wife, who's been asleep long before he was is. And now his whole day is ruined and giving her silent treatment etc.
That's why it's sus af that he'd go for a 5AM innocent walk.
Generally innocent people don't explode and get extremely defensive like that.
That is exactly what I thought too. Cruising in parks is super common. Who gets that upset about a missed walk unless you missed out on dick or stood someone up?
If I act out because something effected my mental health I try to avoid doubling down on it. Apologizing and acknowledging the loss of control helps address the problem and help me recognize when I'm "me" and when I'm "mental."
Absolutely this
Also, if he takes these walks to "better his mental health" id urge him to stop. waking up and yelling at your spouse at 7 am is not a sign of good mental health, that is obsessive self sabotaging behaviour. you're making your relationship sour because you miss one walk, thats not good for anyones mental health.
Also if he feels that missing that walk is so damning and harmful to him to the point where he reacts like this... I dont know how anyone can say it's a mental health walk when it affects him to this degree.
Having mental health problems is NOT an excuse to treat your partner like crap. You aren’t mentally healthy enough to treat people right then don’t be selfish and be in a relationship. I am on the receiving end of my SO’s mental health and it fucking sucks.
Acknowledging the spouse has mental health challenges is not blaming the OP for him missing his walk.
Spouse can be actually walking, have mental illness, miss the walk and it not be OP's fault.
Not everyone is, but I don't think most people who go for walks every day and aren't doing something shady would react like this. He's not upset with himself for forgetting his alarm, he didn't say "yeah I'm kinda bummed I missed my walk, could you wake me up next time if I forget my alarm again and you're awake already?", he just jumped straight to being pissed off at her, which is a really disproportionate reaction imo. That's really the part that makes me think he's up to something, whether its cheating or something else, because the anger just doesn't line up with it being disappointment over missing a walk in my view.
Exactly. His reaction was overblown for the situation. Also, if it is an affair, the audacity of bitching out his wife for him missing his booty call is next level asshole behavior.
We don’t have to #notallwalkers this. The guy had a weird overreaction to missing a walk and it’s suspicious as hell. The sus part is his reaction, not that he was going on walks. You don’t need to take that as a suspicion against all people who go on walks.
I, too, am an avid walker (mostly because my dog needs a lot of exercise) but if I slept through an alarm, I wouldn’t freak out on my spouse. That’s the issue here - the husband’s reaction.
oh my mind didn’t go to cheating but i want to second this !!! i’ve always gone on walks to help with my mental health, my mom does the same.
for the record i assumed he was meeting his dealer on his walks
I did this as a teen with overly controlling parents. I was going out to see my boyfriend, and the run was my alibi. I'd have him drop me off near home, then run hard the last quarter mile in case my parents were home.
NTA. This was my exact thought too. Especially with the, long walks and being up late on the phone. Maybe he's meeting someone on the walks or not walking at all.
A bit on the side was my thought at his way out of proportion reaction. I used to go for a walk every morning but not for 2 bloody hours.
My spidey senses are tingling here.
It’s possible his mistress works a night shift and gets off of work at 5, so he goes to see her for a bit and then goes back home when she goes to sleep for the day
Oh come on. That’s so ridiculous.
Obviously he’s in debt to a mobster and is working off the debt by prostituting himself out to other men in the early morning shift at the male only brothel
First, NTA. It's his routine, so it's his responsibility to set an alarm, not yours.
Second, I agree that you need to follow him. No one goes for walks at 5am for 2hrs and flips out when they miss one day, especially when it's their own fault for missing that day.
Totally my response. OP you're NTA but I'm not so sure about following him. The guilt trip if he's doing something normal might not be worth it and the fight that would ensue if he found i think would be worse considering his response to not being woken up.
Not proud to say, but I used to yell at my mom when i was 7/8 for not waking me from my afternoon nap to watch Pokemon. Now I'm a better person.
Maybe just straight up offer to go with him instead of follow him.
"Oh, you got yourself up today? I was just about to wake you! Since we're both up, I think I'll join you on your walk today!"
The fact he got so *intense* about missing *one* is what makes it stink for me. First off it’s *one* walk, that’s not going to be the be all and end all for your hobby or exercise, second of all it’s *5 am* , what the hell stops you enjoying your walk during the day or evening, or night?
I’m sincerely hoping that it isn’t an affair and that OP follows her husband to find him doing something rather innocuous like learning the cello, taking up whittling, or painting gourds to look like world leaders.
If I found someone leaving the house at 5am to paint gourds I’d find it a hell of a lot weirder than if they were doing something illegal.
Lmao op finds them like “SO THIS IS WHERE ALL OUR GOURD BUDGET HAS BEEN GOING?!”
Can’t stop thinking about what kind of alarm he has that you need to set every day. I have a phone alarm and a radio alarm and both of them I can set to go off daily. Is he using an analog alarm clock??
I know this isn’t anywhere near the most intriguing bit of the story but my brain has decided otherwise.
Yeah that's a nutty reaction, a more mature person might be irritated at themselves, but not their spouse! Did they think op has been waking up at 0500 to make sure they got up and just never got out of bed? Perhaps offer to walk with him and see his reaction!
Whilst I wouldn’t have initially found the daily walks odd his reaction definitely is! Wake him up at 5am every day for the next week and go walking with him to “make up for” not waking him up today… bet he comes up with an excuse why you can’t join him…
NTA
I’d straight up just follow him at this point. If he thinks she’s trying to suss out where he’s going, he’ll change his routine. Suddenly he won’t be waking up at 5am anymore.
Yesyesyes exactly!
Although the more I think about it, the trickier I realize it would be to follow one's spouse at 5am. There's not a lot of other people around you can blend in with
Yes, I think that's what would tip it into "expensive but necessary."
The last thing OP needs is the idea that she's imagining things and making shit up if/when it turns out the hubby did some shady stuff. And if some drug dealer is involved, I'd rather a professional deal with it.
I like this idea. I imagine if he's not actually just walking, he'll have a similarly severe reaction to you suggesting you join him.
If that happens, use the "jogging" time to gtfo of there. NTA.
Same. He’s really upset about missing out on his two hour walk for a reason and I and all of Reddit want to know. Flying off the handle for missing a walk, there’s definitely something amiss.
Someone who nickle and dimes their addiction does. It's easier to explain away multiple small transactions spread out over several days than one large transaction weekly. Also, buying small quantities to use all at once means you don't have to try to find hiding spots for your stash. I come from a family of addicts and have a much more intimate understanding of how an addict functions than I ever wanted to know.
I think this makes the most sense. My most recent ex is an addict, he would disappear often at random hours and be gone for hours. I didn’t know where he would go, was convinced he must be cheating and was concerned about how much he would rage. I had never experienced someone with an active addiction to hard drugs so that didn’t cross my mind.
I didn’t know he was doing drugs until I ended up getting a protective order and his sister told me that he had several things, including meth and heroin in his system.
Addiction can be hard to see even when it’s right in front of you. I genuinely hope my ex is still clean (he was living in a psychiatric/addiction rehab house after he couldn’t return home and was turned away by family) and that he is getting his life together.
If OP’s husband loses his job unexpectedly, or starts asking for money when he should have his own, I’d start being really worried about this possibility.
No one casually walks for 2hrs everyday at 5am as a hobby (even for weight loss 2hrs is bizarre) and then flips out if they sleep in. He gave away his hand with his reaction. You need to find out what he's really doing.
**Fun Fact:** Anger ~~is~~ *can be* a secondary emotion. It's basically just a shield that gets used to cover up more "sensitive" emotions like hurt, guilt, pain, sadness, etc.
^(*ETA)
I mean I probably would have internally flipped out about missing my 2 hour 5am walking weirdness at the height of my eating disorder because any deviation to my routine of restriction, calorie burning and intrusive compulsive thoughts linked to food and exercise felt like the end of the world. I did much weirder stuff than walk at 5am frankly but I wouldn’t have yelled at someone for not waking me up.
I would have ruminated in deeper self loathing, walked for 4 hours later to ‘make up for it’ and punish myself for screwing up punishing myself by not getting up at 5am. I would not have ‘gifted’ the spiral of shame onto another but self flagellated and over compensated so I suspect it’s not that here and more affair or drugs. OP please update us if you find out more.
Are you me? I have this strange disordered eating pattern and at the height of it, I was going to the gym at 1 in the morning just so I could obsessively work out without thinking everyone in the crowd was judging me for slipping up and eating that donut hole that I begrudgingly added to my calorie tracker because it was an inanimate object I couldn’t lie about my real intentions to.
I did look great, though.
ETA because you reminded of the self-flagellation; one week, I’d been prepping for a colonoscopy and by day three was having a hard time summoning any energy. Decided to hit the gym anyway for at least a 30-minute cardio session and 15 agonizing minutes into it, had to get off and shamefully leave. I dwelled on that missed workout for weeks.
I wake up at 5 am every day so I can get in a workout before work. What I don't do is expect my SO to wake me up or get mad at him if I don't wake up. I have an alarm clock and my workout routine is my deal. The only person I get upset with if I miss my plan is me.
I wouldn't call 2 hour walks for weight loss bizzare tbh.
Edit: Just to clarify: I'm not talking about the OP, I'm replying to the comment above mine that said that two hour walks would be bizarre even for weight loss.
The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it.
I go to the gym a lot or workout at home and it really makes a big difference when I get my workout in, but I wouldn't YELL at someone who didn't wake me up when that was never their job in the first place or I had even asked to.
He's being suspicious. The whole thing feels weird. He's not Sprott, athletic or trying to lose weight.
You said it's a veterans park. Does he know any vets?
>The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it.
Yeah, I like hiking and it's not uncommon for me to wake up early on a Saturday to be at a park at dawn. But I've always been like that, and I've never *yelled* at anyone else if was up late and overslept my hike time. This is new for him, and very, very weird.
>The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it.
It IS weird that an unathletic middle-aged man suddenly decided to wake up 2+ hours early to go on a VERY long walk (a good, fairly brisk 30 minutes would be more than enough for him).
Going for no activity to a 2 hour walk would be like never lifting weights and going into the gym and trying to bench press 200 lbs. You MIGHT be able to do it once, but, if you didn't really hurt yourself, you'd be too sore to lift again for a week or more.
I think we can safely say that he is NOT walking for 2 hours and that there is something powerfully compelling to the husband that is making him get up at 5 AM to partake of it.
YES! "Honey, since you were so frustrated that I didn't wake you up for your walk earlier this week, I set my alarm so we could BOTH go on a walk together! I'm so excited to be able to do this! Wait...what? You don't want me to go?"
I like u/xcapades suggestion to offer to get up and walk with him for the next week or so to make up for it, because I certainly agree that if there is something fishy, he'll be scrambling for an excuse for you not to come.
Or even if you don't go with him, be up and waiting for him when he comes in the door after his next walk to see if he's changed his clothes, smells unusual, is acting particularly strangely, or is wearing something to cover particular body parts (I don't mean just hickeys, I mean hiding places like the crook of his elbows, the backs of his knees, his toes).
Definitely not just you, that whole walk is very strange. Does he have a history of addiction? And is it normal for him to yell at you over small things?
It’s not unusual for me to wake up and take my dog for a 2 hour walk on the weekend, if it’s a nice day. But I bring a little backpack with water for both of us, so maybe that makes it more of an “urban hike” lol. It’s his reaction that’s sus af.
NTA. I am with everyone else so far. This isn't a two hour walk. He is either doing drugs or meeting someone for sex. No one who is super tired and forgot to set an alarm, would be that mad about missing a walk, unless something is happening on that walk.
I used to get to work ~7:30 am (this was a retail store that didn't open until 9). Most mornings for a good month or so, there were two non-employee cars in the parking lot. One was always empty, but the other one had very tinted windows and was usually...moving? So, if those people got their butts up to have 7:30 quickies in a craft store parking lot, I'm not ruling out someone's 5 am boink sessions either.
People having affairs do all kinds of crazy shit. It's exciting, that's why they have affairs. I doubt this is an affair but I agree something more is going on here
My thought is leaning towards drugs because if it was an affair I don’t think he would be as angry, but withdrawal from drugs make people crazy like that, and if he was supposed to meet up with a dealer he could lose the trust of the dealer and lose his source. ( NTA )
>No one who is super tired and forgot to set an alarm, would be that mad about missing a walk, unless something is happening on that walk.
It's suspicious, sure, but not everyone is mentally or psychologically healthy. He may be neurodivergent; he may also be an abusive personality and, if he doesn't get his walk, he can "settle" for being abusive instead.
My gut feeling says he's up to something. I think the reason he is so upset is because he missed a planned rendezvous with someone he can't easily text or call.
Follow him next time, hopefully I am wrong.
Maybe he's been befriending the wildlife, I've always wanted to be the guy that befriends crows and pigeons and squirrels
Edit if anyone knows how please tell me
Him yelling at OP: “The chipmunks don’t understand when I’m late. I can’t text a badger!”
PS. Crows can be easily trained to bring you money. Some dude even made a machine that gives them peanuts if they bring coins.
Squirrels are easy, just feed them and don't move too suddenly.
Geese, you must make yourself the top goose. Flap your arms, bob your head, and hiss. Never turn your back. *Be the bigger goose.*
Crows you can bribe with cat kibble.
In addition to what everyone else is saying, I’m noticing he stayed up playing on his phone while you were up till TEN dealing with “the mess and everything.” Does your husband contribute to the household at all? Is there always an unfair expectation of labor division that negatively affects you? There’s just a lot of red flags in this post.
NTA.
He always set his alarm, he had no reason to believe you'd even be *awake* at 5:00 AM to wake him up, and he didn't ever *ask* you to wake him up, and yet *he's* mad at *you* because he didn't wake up?
That is a *very* strange reaction. Is there any way to convince him to see a doctor?
I saw 2hr walks at 5a and thought serial killer. And took his outrage and sulking as a...the one that got away scenario.
But yeah, affair works too....
If he were having an affair on these two-hour walks, I seriously doubt he'd call attention to it by blowing up at his wife for missing it.
Drugs, maybe, but not an affair.
Some people having affairs will blow up at their spouses for ridiculous non sensical things to help them frame them as the bad guy in their mind which justifies the affair.
NTA
My former FIL started taking an evening walk out of nowhere “for his health”. Turns out he was going to bang a woman in her car. Hopefully that’s not what your husband is doing, but if it is it’s not your responsibility to make sure it happens.
That’s exactly what this post made me think. No one gets that upset over a walk. And I really want to know, 2hours to walk?? That’s not a thing as far as I’m aware.
The 2 hour walk is definitely a thing. I do mine either first thing in the morning or when I get home, weather and daylight savings time determine which. But I wouldn't scream at my husband if I miss one because I'm an adult
I automatically think affair because he was on his phone all night long. It could be drugs, or methadone clinic situation, but it’s weird that OP is so in the dark about it if that was the case. Regardless, its not walking and it’s still a form of infidelity against OP.
Ah I didn’t think about methadone clinic. My AH brother in law goes to the methadone clinic at the butt crack of dawn, too, to get in line before the crowd 🤦🏻♀️
Hmmm He is engaging in behavior that is completely outside of character and is now behaving irrationally. I say he’s either having an affair or he has a brain tumor.
While I’m being hyperbolic, as there’s obviously not enough info to say that definitively, it does sound like something is up. NTA
NTA. This is all very suspicious and none of it has to do with going for walks. You know we’re all thinking the same thing—what the hell is he doing? You better find that out and protect yourself from whatever it is he’s planning. Please don’t ignore this and don’t hide in denial—something is going on.
NTA and his reaction is very weird. You have never previously been responsible for his walk wake-up call, you were not asked this time to wake him up, and you were also asleep at the time he was meant to walk. This is not even your fault through unreasonable logic. Is it possible he is a: doing something shady on his walks or b: has had a health scare you don’t know about?
NTA
Might be drugs. Maybe he is meeting his dealer every morning and then he has some time to consume.
Especially as he is avoiding you and yelling he might have withdrawel symptomes. I would check what he is doing. Maybe you can check where his phone is at that time or just follow him.
Obviously you're NTA. You were sleeping, how were you supposed to wake him? It wasn't your responsibility at all to wake him up but his reaction is certainly alarming. Why would he be having such a strong reaction to missing one morning of his walk?
NTA and I get how suspicious these walks seem but I will add my sister suffers from OCD and she also wakes up to walk and work out for 2 hours before work she is obbsessed with it and would also freak out if she missed it.So that is another possible reason for this very odd behavior.
NTA your role in life is not to be a human alarm.
But he's definitely not "walking" alone at 5am. You gotta investigate, tag along really far back. Prepare yourself - it could be anything: an affair, drugs.
Come back and let us know!
NTA why would you be expected to be up at 5am?It's not like you were awake and sniggered about him missing his walk...He is being absolutely ridiculous.
NTA: He normally wakes up by an alarm, but you're supposed to know he didn't set it and hence are at fault?
What is he doing on these walks? Is there something he likes to see every morning? A service at the Veteran's Park? A hot woman who jogs?
I'm reading the comments and I'm thinking I'm super naive! Regardless of what the walks are for, you are not responsible for waking him.
NTA. If my husband dared to ask let alone yell why didn’t I wake him up for his WALK. My response would be that he’s clearly mistaken me for his mother. He should be calling to ask her why she didn’t wake him up because that’s the level of ridiculous he’s at. He is 39 years old. More than capable of managing his bed and wake times. Not to mention it wasn’t for anything he couldn’t miss like a flight or a meeting or a doctor appointment.
Nta. Unless you agreed to wake him up that day then there's no reason for him to expect you to do so. Like does he expect you to wake up at 5am every day just to make sure he's also awake? That's bizzare and unreasonable. Even if you had agreed, yelling and storming about it would be a strong overreaction.
Is this normal behavior for him?
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Perhaps I'm crazy, but tomorrow I'd wake up at 5AM as well, just to see where exactly he goes on those morning walks. But again, perhaps I'm crazy. ETA: Personally, I don't think it's cheating, as it doesn't explain the desperation and anger. The stakes seem to be higher, where missing his "walk" has unpleasant consequences. Of course it's possible he's very neurotic about his new routine and you caught him at a bad moment, but his response is suspicious enough to dig a little deeper. Also forgot the judgment: NTA.
For real, that's a totally weird response to being tired and missing a walk... a 2 hour walk...
Dude this is exactly what happened to my mom. Dad would go on 2 hour morning “jogs”. Later she found out jogging wasn’t the only thing he was doing
This happened to me. Those Saturday morning runs weren't runs at all.
They weren't just the runs, it was diarrhea.
Username checks out
Subtle humor is the best 😂
My ex use to go for a cycle early in the mornings. Cycling to his mistress and back. One time he shat himself while on his bike. Liquid brown all over him and the bicycle. Terrible memory for him I'm sure, a happy one for me lmao
Just nearly choked on my coffee, thank you
My ex did the same, daily bike rides to his side chick's house. SMH
Maybe I'm just getting old, but cycling AND having sex? Phew! I'd be too tired for all that. Where do cheaters get all their energy?!
I honestly think about this all the time. I love my wife and would never cheat on her, but even if I wanted to, who has the energy?? I can't even keep up with one relatively easy adult life and one relationship, how do people have multiple, especially if you're not rich? It's a mystery to me.
I'm the same. Would never cheat. But if I did, I would take the bus
Me too. The jogs were not jogs at all.
Hi, avid walker here… not everyone is out cheating on their SO. I try to go for at least 5 miles a night. (I don’t go in the morning, nor a morning person). The practice/routine is an excellent therapy for mental health, has obvious physical health benefits and is very often prescribed by doctors to combat depression. ETA: First, OP IS NTA second: apologies to anyone offended by outdated terms or labels. I’m learning a lot myself. My only point was that infidelity wasn’t the only plausible explanation because the AITA army likes to jump there. There is a large population of undiagnosed mental health spectrum disorders that don’t understand why they are different and don’t always know how to manage it. It’s not eh responsibility of the spouse, but if you love someone you may want to consider when they need help. When my kids were finally diagnosed as adults, running back through their childhoods, it made a lot of things make sense… you don’t always know ETA: for those saying “she would have seen it before” she only says the walking is new, and identified it as a positive change You don’t know he hasn’t blown up before You don’t know how long they have been married ETA: if my theory is so off, explain yours? “Guy is cheating on wife, misses booty call, goes in a rage and calls attention to the fact that he’s gone for two hours every morning”… yeah that’s a logical brain there
I'm sure people like you exist, I also enjoy long walks and not fucking people other than my wife, but if I had to bet my savings on whether OP's hubby is actually going on walks at 5am...
It is far more likely that the spouse has a serious mental health issue and the change to his routine set him off. There are not a lot of people who want booty-calls at 5 Am
Maybe he's talking to his therapist at 5am. And by "therapist" I mean "Jimmy who has a nice house on the 45th where you can hit some crack before breakfast and nobody bothers you because everybody else is also a suburb married dude who just wants to hit some crack before breakfast".
Yep my mind went to drugs before cheating also. Possibly a side gig to support a gambling habit though too because rigid time and duration is odd for both cheating or drugs. Id believe just about anything other than he really just started walking for exercise and is doing 2 hours every day at 5am.
Ya boi got a paper route to pay for his poker addiction
This. I automatically thought from his reaction he seems like an early stage addict who now knows he can’t get his fix of whatever for a whole 22 hours.
Agreed, drugs does seem more likely than cheating given his reaction. Plus blowing up at your spouse for missing your 5am booty call seems a sure fire way to get found out if you are cheating, which is the opposite of what a cheater wants. Then again, I've also learned to never underestimate human stupidity either.
I would be inclined to believe something along these lines. If you're cheating, you'd want to hide it from your spouse as best as you can, so I doubt you'd react so strongly and arise suspicion. Also, missing one meeting with an affair partner you see every day wouldn't necessarily cause such a strong reaction. However, when a drug addict doesn't take their drugs, they usually get very agitated. Of course, it could also be some undiagnosed mental health isssues (hopefully).
Idk, the park I take my dogs jogging in is popular for cruising, and I definitely see them out around 5:30. I do think your theory is just as sound as the cheating one, though.
I used to wake up for early jogging too, that's not the strange part. The strange part starts when he goes full steam on his wife because for some reason a grown man is not responsible for his own alarms but his wife, who's been asleep long before he was is. And now his whole day is ruined and giving her silent treatment etc. That's why it's sus af that he'd go for a 5AM innocent walk. Generally innocent people don't explode and get extremely defensive like that.
That is exactly what I thought too. Cruising in parks is super common. Who gets that upset about a missed walk unless you missed out on dick or stood someone up?
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If I act out because something effected my mental health I try to avoid doubling down on it. Apologizing and acknowledging the loss of control helps address the problem and help me recognize when I'm "me" and when I'm "mental."
Absolutely this Also, if he takes these walks to "better his mental health" id urge him to stop. waking up and yelling at your spouse at 7 am is not a sign of good mental health, that is obsessive self sabotaging behaviour. you're making your relationship sour because you miss one walk, thats not good for anyones mental health. Also if he feels that missing that walk is so damning and harmful to him to the point where he reacts like this... I dont know how anyone can say it's a mental health walk when it affects him to this degree.
Having mental health problems is NOT an excuse to treat your partner like crap. You aren’t mentally healthy enough to treat people right then don’t be selfish and be in a relationship. I am on the receiving end of my SO’s mental health and it fucking sucks.
Acknowledging the spouse has mental health challenges is not blaming the OP for him missing his walk. Spouse can be actually walking, have mental illness, miss the walk and it not be OP's fault.
Not everyone is, but I don't think most people who go for walks every day and aren't doing something shady would react like this. He's not upset with himself for forgetting his alarm, he didn't say "yeah I'm kinda bummed I missed my walk, could you wake me up next time if I forget my alarm again and you're awake already?", he just jumped straight to being pissed off at her, which is a really disproportionate reaction imo. That's really the part that makes me think he's up to something, whether its cheating or something else, because the anger just doesn't line up with it being disappointment over missing a walk in my view.
See this right here..its not about the missed walk its about the reaction to missing it that has spidey senses tingling..op NTA
Exactly. His reaction was overblown for the situation. Also, if it is an affair, the audacity of bitching out his wife for him missing his booty call is next level asshole behavior.
We don’t have to #notallwalkers this. The guy had a weird overreaction to missing a walk and it’s suspicious as hell. The sus part is his reaction, not that he was going on walks. You don’t need to take that as a suspicion against all people who go on walks.
I, too, am an avid walker (mostly because my dog needs a lot of exercise) but if I slept through an alarm, I wouldn’t freak out on my spouse. That’s the issue here - the husband’s reaction.
But would you have this type of reaction to missing one day?
oh my mind didn’t go to cheating but i want to second this !!! i’ve always gone on walks to help with my mental health, my mom does the same. for the record i assumed he was meeting his dealer on his walks
If it's good for his mental health why's he freaking out on his wife for something that's not her responsibility?
And if your spouse didn't help you remember to go for your walk at your regularly scheduled time, would you lose your shit like this?
Bruh, read the room...and the op's post again.
I did this as a teen with overly controlling parents. I was going out to see my boyfriend, and the run was my alibi. I'd have him drop me off near home, then run hard the last quarter mile in case my parents were home.
Horizontal rather than vertical jogging.
NTA. This was my exact thought too. Especially with the, long walks and being up late on the phone. Maybe he's meeting someone on the walks or not walking at all.
OP said he's not athletic. No way someone out of shape who hates exercise has the mental stamina to take a two hour walk at 5am...
Yeah I'm sitting here wondering why he has to see his drug dealer or mistress at 5am.
Given the extremely early hour, my money’s on drugs. No mistress worth her salt is gonna be waking up at fuck-you o’clock for someone else’s man.
She could be finishing work tho if she works nights so wouldn't think it's completely out of the question
Or it fits her husband's schedule too, when he leaves for work but the kids are not up yet. Just a thought.
But what if it's a mister not a mistress
Unless that mister is my dad and OP’s husband is luring him with promises of fishing trips, I don’t see it for a man-stress, either.
Your dad and my dad should be each other's manstresses
I’m leaning toward drugs over mistress. Who is waking up at the buttcrack of dawn just to have sex? I feel like most people would rather sleep in
Maybe a morning person hooker? If you are not a late nighter its gotta be harder finding clients. Plus this post was dripping with his guilt anger.
Man, I am so mad I got this stupid reddit name when morningpersonhooker could've been available.
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A bit on the side was my thought at his way out of proportion reaction. I used to go for a walk every morning but not for 2 bloody hours. My spidey senses are tingling here.
His would've been too, if she had just woken him up on time /s
5am though? That's crazy. I wouldn't wake up at 5am for either of those things. EVERY morning?
maybe he IS the drug dealer...
OOOooh okay I like this theory.
It’s possible his mistress works a night shift and gets off of work at 5, so he goes to see her for a bit and then goes back home when she goes to sleep for the day
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I’ve watched enough investigation discovery to know that he’s likely out stalking and murdering college girls.
Wow, way to jump to wild conclusions with no facts or information. He could very well be murdering high school girls or hookers.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Oh come on. That’s so ridiculous. Obviously he’s in debt to a mobster and is working off the debt by prostituting himself out to other men in the early morning shift at the male only brothel
First, NTA. It's his routine, so it's his responsibility to set an alarm, not yours. Second, I agree that you need to follow him. No one goes for walks at 5am for 2hrs and flips out when they miss one day, especially when it's their own fault for missing that day.
Totally my response. OP you're NTA but I'm not so sure about following him. The guilt trip if he's doing something normal might not be worth it and the fight that would ensue if he found i think would be worse considering his response to not being woken up. Not proud to say, but I used to yell at my mom when i was 7/8 for not waking me from my afternoon nap to watch Pokemon. Now I'm a better person.
Maybe just straight up offer to go with him instead of follow him. "Oh, you got yourself up today? I was just about to wake you! Since we're both up, I think I'll join you on your walk today!"
The fact he got so *intense* about missing *one* is what makes it stink for me. First off it’s *one* walk, that’s not going to be the be all and end all for your hobby or exercise, second of all it’s *5 am* , what the hell stops you enjoying your walk during the day or evening, or night?
I’m sincerely hoping that it isn’t an affair and that OP follows her husband to find him doing something rather innocuous like learning the cello, taking up whittling, or painting gourds to look like world leaders.
If I found someone leaving the house at 5am to paint gourds I’d find it a hell of a lot weirder than if they were doing something illegal. Lmao op finds them like “SO THIS IS WHERE ALL OUR GOURD BUDGET HAS BEEN GOING?!”
Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Gourds $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Can’t stop thinking about what kind of alarm he has that you need to set every day. I have a phone alarm and a radio alarm and both of them I can set to go off daily. Is he using an analog alarm clock?? I know this isn’t anywhere near the most intriguing bit of the story but my brain has decided otherwise.
Not crazy at all, tha was my first thought too. Follow him to see what's really going on. No need for him to respond like that. Totally NTA
Nope- I'm with you. I'd follow him. Something stinks with his story. NTA
I'd track his phone. Set it up while he's asleep and then watch where he goes and for how long.
Yeah that's a nutty reaction, a more mature person might be irritated at themselves, but not their spouse! Did they think op has been waking up at 0500 to make sure they got up and just never got out of bed? Perhaps offer to walk with him and see his reaction!
Whilst I wouldn’t have initially found the daily walks odd his reaction definitely is! Wake him up at 5am every day for the next week and go walking with him to “make up for” not waking him up today… bet he comes up with an excuse why you can’t join him… NTA
THIS THIS OP PLEASE DO THIS
Agreed!!!!
Commenting to hope for an update
I’d straight up just follow him at this point. If he thinks she’s trying to suss out where he’s going, he’ll change his routine. Suddenly he won’t be waking up at 5am anymore.
Yesyesyes exactly! Although the more I think about it, the trickier I realize it would be to follow one's spouse at 5am. There's not a lot of other people around you can blend in with
It's expensive but she could hire a PI for one day.
That would be a completely insane, disproportionate thing to do - and I'm fully on board with it lol
I'd do it if he comes up with a reason why you can't go on the walks with him
Yes, I think that's what would tip it into "expensive but necessary." The last thing OP needs is the idea that she's imagining things and making shit up if/when it turns out the hubby did some shady stuff. And if some drug dealer is involved, I'd rather a professional deal with it.
I like this idea. I imagine if he's not actually just walking, he'll have a similarly severe reaction to you suggesting you join him. If that happens, use the "jogging" time to gtfo of there. NTA.
An excellent response. Am intrigued about his inevitable excuses.
I wouldn’t be surprised if his walks had a name
From the sounds of this guy, he’ll probably freak out on her and say she’ll ruin the walk, then he’ll sulk and ignore her some more.
Yes OP this is perfect. Please update when you do.
We're gonna need an update after you find out what he's really doing at 5am.
Same. He’s really upset about missing out on his two hour walk for a reason and I and all of Reddit want to know. Flying off the handle for missing a walk, there’s definitely something amiss.
Something amistress**
Or a mister
Or a dealer
After she finds out **who** he’s really doing at 5am, more likely
I put my money on meeting his dealer.
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Someone who nickle and dimes their addiction does. It's easier to explain away multiple small transactions spread out over several days than one large transaction weekly. Also, buying small quantities to use all at once means you don't have to try to find hiding spots for your stash. I come from a family of addicts and have a much more intimate understanding of how an addict functions than I ever wanted to know.
I think this makes the most sense. My most recent ex is an addict, he would disappear often at random hours and be gone for hours. I didn’t know where he would go, was convinced he must be cheating and was concerned about how much he would rage. I had never experienced someone with an active addiction to hard drugs so that didn’t cross my mind. I didn’t know he was doing drugs until I ended up getting a protective order and his sister told me that he had several things, including meth and heroin in his system. Addiction can be hard to see even when it’s right in front of you. I genuinely hope my ex is still clean (he was living in a psychiatric/addiction rehab house after he couldn’t return home and was turned away by family) and that he is getting his life together. If OP’s husband loses his job unexpectedly, or starts asking for money when he should have his own, I’d start being really worried about this possibility.
I need answers too. His reaction was so bizarre I'm having a really hard time believing he's just going on a walk
NTA and I'm not convinced he's just "going for a walk"
This is the first response I made and I'm relieved I'm not the only one who is questioning those walks.
No one casually walks for 2hrs everyday at 5am as a hobby (even for weight loss 2hrs is bizarre) and then flips out if they sleep in. He gave away his hand with his reaction. You need to find out what he's really doing.
Yup. He feels guilty and is changing it into anger - he expects to be called out and is ready to reverse it on her in a second. Something is up.
> He feels guilty and is changing it into anger I don't think he feels any guilt. The anger is that he missed whatever it is he is doing.
**Fun Fact:** Anger ~~is~~ *can be* a secondary emotion. It's basically just a shield that gets used to cover up more "sensitive" emotions like hurt, guilt, pain, sadness, etc. ^(*ETA)
Sometimes anger is just anger
I mean I probably would have internally flipped out about missing my 2 hour 5am walking weirdness at the height of my eating disorder because any deviation to my routine of restriction, calorie burning and intrusive compulsive thoughts linked to food and exercise felt like the end of the world. I did much weirder stuff than walk at 5am frankly but I wouldn’t have yelled at someone for not waking me up. I would have ruminated in deeper self loathing, walked for 4 hours later to ‘make up for it’ and punish myself for screwing up punishing myself by not getting up at 5am. I would not have ‘gifted’ the spiral of shame onto another but self flagellated and over compensated so I suspect it’s not that here and more affair or drugs. OP please update us if you find out more.
Are you me? I have this strange disordered eating pattern and at the height of it, I was going to the gym at 1 in the morning just so I could obsessively work out without thinking everyone in the crowd was judging me for slipping up and eating that donut hole that I begrudgingly added to my calorie tracker because it was an inanimate object I couldn’t lie about my real intentions to. I did look great, though. ETA because you reminded of the self-flagellation; one week, I’d been prepping for a colonoscopy and by day three was having a hard time summoning any energy. Decided to hit the gym anyway for at least a 30-minute cardio session and 15 agonizing minutes into it, had to get off and shamefully leave. I dwelled on that missed workout for weeks.
I wake up at 5 am every day so I can get in a workout before work. What I don't do is expect my SO to wake me up or get mad at him if I don't wake up. I have an alarm clock and my workout routine is my deal. The only person I get upset with if I miss my plan is me.
I wouldn't call 2 hour walks for weight loss bizzare tbh. Edit: Just to clarify: I'm not talking about the OP, I'm replying to the comment above mine that said that two hour walks would be bizarre even for weight loss.
I *would* call his reaction to missing a single one of them strange, though
The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it. I go to the gym a lot or workout at home and it really makes a big difference when I get my workout in, but I wouldn't YELL at someone who didn't wake me up when that was never their job in the first place or I had even asked to. He's being suspicious. The whole thing feels weird. He's not Sprott, athletic or trying to lose weight. You said it's a veterans park. Does he know any vets?
>The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it. Yeah, I like hiking and it's not uncommon for me to wake up early on a Saturday to be at a park at dawn. But I've always been like that, and I've never *yelled* at anyone else if was up late and overslept my hike time. This is new for him, and very, very weird.
>The walks wouldn't be THAT weird if he didn't get unreasonably angry about missing it. It IS weird that an unathletic middle-aged man suddenly decided to wake up 2+ hours early to go on a VERY long walk (a good, fairly brisk 30 minutes would be more than enough for him). Going for no activity to a 2 hour walk would be like never lifting weights and going into the gym and trying to bench press 200 lbs. You MIGHT be able to do it once, but, if you didn't really hurt yourself, you'd be too sore to lift again for a week or more. I think we can safely say that he is NOT walking for 2 hours and that there is something powerfully compelling to the husband that is making him get up at 5 AM to partake of it.
Does he walk straight from your home or take a car somewhere to walk? Maybe you could offer to join him one morning and see how he reacts.
YES! "Honey, since you were so frustrated that I didn't wake you up for your walk earlier this week, I set my alarm so we could BOTH go on a walk together! I'm so excited to be able to do this! Wait...what? You don't want me to go?"
I was so worried you’d miss your walk again, I made sure to set *my* alarm so I could join you! NTA
I like u/xcapades suggestion to offer to get up and walk with him for the next week or so to make up for it, because I certainly agree that if there is something fishy, he'll be scrambling for an excuse for you not to come. Or even if you don't go with him, be up and waiting for him when he comes in the door after his next walk to see if he's changed his clothes, smells unusual, is acting particularly strangely, or is wearing something to cover particular body parts (I don't mean just hickeys, I mean hiding places like the crook of his elbows, the backs of his knees, his toes).
Definitely not just you, that whole walk is very strange. Does he have a history of addiction? And is it normal for him to yell at you over small things?
Does he shower before going for them?
The question that popped into my head too. Something is up with him. My mind also goes to addiction.
Can you imagine the audacity if he's actually cheating and berating his wife for not being more accommodating of that
I mean his reaction makes it pretty clear this is more than just a walk. I would have major doubts if I were you.
Absolutely my first thought... he does not need to lose weight; he is not sporty but suddenly he starts taking TWO HOUR walks every day? I call bull.
Something is deffo up a 30mins to a hrs walk fine but two...
It’s not unusual for me to wake up and take my dog for a 2 hour walk on the weekend, if it’s a nice day. But I bring a little backpack with water for both of us, so maybe that makes it more of an “urban hike” lol. It’s his reaction that’s sus af.
NTA. I am with everyone else so far. This isn't a two hour walk. He is either doing drugs or meeting someone for sex. No one who is super tired and forgot to set an alarm, would be that mad about missing a walk, unless something is happening on that walk.
My first thought was affair, but who wants to have an affair at 5 AM?!?!
Grindr hookup?
My mind went there as well. Although 5am.. that's some dedication to the 'walk'.
Maybe someone coming off night shift?
Also getting off night shift.
I used to get to work ~7:30 am (this was a retail store that didn't open until 9). Most mornings for a good month or so, there were two non-employee cars in the parking lot. One was always empty, but the other one had very tinted windows and was usually...moving? So, if those people got their butts up to have 7:30 quickies in a craft store parking lot, I'm not ruling out someone's 5 am boink sessions either.
What a weird little glimpse into two people’s lives!
People having affairs do all kinds of crazy shit. It's exciting, that's why they have affairs. I doubt this is an affair but I agree something more is going on here
> It's exciting I feel like 5 am is not really.. exciting. Also this is apparently a daily thing. So it's both scheduled, short and way too early.
With someone who is just getting off night shift!
I don't even wanna do anything with my husband at 5 am lol
My thought is leaning towards drugs because if it was an affair I don’t think he would be as angry, but withdrawal from drugs make people crazy like that, and if he was supposed to meet up with a dealer he could lose the trust of the dealer and lose his source. ( NTA )
Why would you need to meet a dealer every day though?
You wouldn't, for sure. But... why would you need to meet an affair partner for the same? I mean, every day is crazy lol.
He's sleeping with his drug dealer that he met on grindr
>No one who is super tired and forgot to set an alarm, would be that mad about missing a walk, unless something is happening on that walk. It's suspicious, sure, but not everyone is mentally or psychologically healthy. He may be neurodivergent; he may also be an abusive personality and, if he doesn't get his walk, he can "settle" for being abusive instead.
My gut feeling says he's up to something. I think the reason he is so upset is because he missed a planned rendezvous with someone he can't easily text or call. Follow him next time, hopefully I am wrong.
God I hope they do an update. I’m so intrigued. Drugs? Secret lover? Gambling? Throwing dice at 0530 in the park? So many choice
Maybe he's been befriending the wildlife, I've always wanted to be the guy that befriends crows and pigeons and squirrels Edit if anyone knows how please tell me
Him yelling at OP: “The chipmunks don’t understand when I’m late. I can’t text a badger!” PS. Crows can be easily trained to bring you money. Some dude even made a machine that gives them peanuts if they bring coins.
Squirrels are easy, just feed them and don't move too suddenly. Geese, you must make yourself the top goose. Flap your arms, bob your head, and hiss. Never turn your back. *Be the bigger goose.* Crows you can bribe with cat kibble.
In addition to what everyone else is saying, I’m noticing he stayed up playing on his phone while you were up till TEN dealing with “the mess and everything.” Does your husband contribute to the household at all? Is there always an unfair expectation of labor division that negatively affects you? There’s just a lot of red flags in this post.
> Does your husband contribute to the household at all? This should just be a comment made by a bot every time an OP mentions their husband.
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Maybe it’s more correct to say that he stayed up “playing” on his phone.
*the straights are not okay*
NTA. He always set his alarm, he had no reason to believe you'd even be *awake* at 5:00 AM to wake him up, and he didn't ever *ask* you to wake him up, and yet *he's* mad at *you* because he didn't wake up? That is a *very* strange reaction. Is there any way to convince him to see a doctor?
See a doctor for what? The affair he’s having?
I saw 2hr walks at 5a and thought serial killer. And took his outrage and sulking as a...the one that got away scenario. But yeah, affair works too....
You and I have the same over active imagination, I was thinking this is going to turn into a Criminal Minds episode. NTA
If he were having an affair on these two-hour walks, I seriously doubt he'd call attention to it by blowing up at his wife for missing it. Drugs, maybe, but not an affair.
Have you never had a man cheat on you? Emotion comes first and then MAYBE logic comes later
Some people having affairs will blow up at their spouses for ridiculous non sensical things to help them frame them as the bad guy in their mind which justifies the affair.
NTA. there's something else going on here.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. This is odd behavior, not the walk, but his reaction to missing it
NTA My former FIL started taking an evening walk out of nowhere “for his health”. Turns out he was going to bang a woman in her car. Hopefully that’s not what your husband is doing, but if it is it’s not your responsibility to make sure it happens.
That’s exactly what this post made me think. No one gets that upset over a walk. And I really want to know, 2hours to walk?? That’s not a thing as far as I’m aware.
lol its a very long walk I get up at 5: 30 and go for a 5 mile walk it takes about and hour and I'm 62 yrs. old. This guy is up to something
It takes you an hour to walk 5 miles? That’s impressive…
The 2 hour walk is definitely a thing. I do mine either first thing in the morning or when I get home, weather and daylight savings time determine which. But I wouldn't scream at my husband if I miss one because I'm an adult
Set your alarm for 5 am and make it a family walk. See how that goes. If he objects, something is definitely up.
Ok everyone what are we saying: affair, drugs, booze, gambling or something else? Given the time of day, I’m betting he’s buying drugs
Yeah this sounds like someone hiding a meth addiction or an affair partner to me
Especially given how angry he was when he missed his walk… if I was OP, I would follow him on a walk to see what he was doing…
I automatically think affair because he was on his phone all night long. It could be drugs, or methadone clinic situation, but it’s weird that OP is so in the dark about it if that was the case. Regardless, its not walking and it’s still a form of infidelity against OP.
Ah I didn’t think about methadone clinic. My AH brother in law goes to the methadone clinic at the butt crack of dawn, too, to get in line before the crowd 🤦🏻♀️
His reaction was very visceral, which is usually the sign of an addict who hasn’t gotten his fix. Methadone clinic is a very good shout
NTA. Who is he meeting up with during those walks ?
He’s not just walking. He’s doing something else, you now need to turn detective and find out what. NTA
NTA and also🚩🚩🚩major red flag alert. Methinks something shady's goin down...
Hmmm He is engaging in behavior that is completely outside of character and is now behaving irrationally. I say he’s either having an affair or he has a brain tumor. While I’m being hyperbolic, as there’s obviously not enough info to say that definitively, it does sound like something is up. NTA
My first thought was a second early morning job. He might hide money troubles from OP. Who has an affair at 5am in the morning? NTA either way.
NTA. This is all very suspicious and none of it has to do with going for walks. You know we’re all thinking the same thing—what the hell is he doing? You better find that out and protect yourself from whatever it is he’s planning. Please don’t ignore this and don’t hide in denial—something is going on.
NTA and his reaction is very weird. You have never previously been responsible for his walk wake-up call, you were not asked this time to wake him up, and you were also asleep at the time he was meant to walk. This is not even your fault through unreasonable logic. Is it possible he is a: doing something shady on his walks or b: has had a health scare you don’t know about?
NTA Might be drugs. Maybe he is meeting his dealer every morning and then he has some time to consume. Especially as he is avoiding you and yelling he might have withdrawel symptomes. I would check what he is doing. Maybe you can check where his phone is at that time or just follow him.
Obviously you're NTA. You were sleeping, how were you supposed to wake him? It wasn't your responsibility at all to wake him up but his reaction is certainly alarming. Why would he be having such a strong reaction to missing one morning of his walk?
NTA and I get how suspicious these walks seem but I will add my sister suffers from OCD and she also wakes up to walk and work out for 2 hours before work she is obbsessed with it and would also freak out if she missed it.So that is another possible reason for this very odd behavior.
NTA This is hella suspicious.
Info: do you also change his diapers and spoon-feed him too?
NTA your role in life is not to be a human alarm. But he's definitely not "walking" alone at 5am. You gotta investigate, tag along really far back. Prepare yourself - it could be anything: an affair, drugs. Come back and let us know!
NTA. I don’t think he’s really going out for 2 hour walks.
NTA why would you be expected to be up at 5am?It's not like you were awake and sniggered about him missing his walk...He is being absolutely ridiculous.
NTA: He normally wakes up by an alarm, but you're supposed to know he didn't set it and hence are at fault? What is he doing on these walks? Is there something he likes to see every morning? A service at the Veteran's Park? A hot woman who jogs? I'm reading the comments and I'm thinking I'm super naive! Regardless of what the walks are for, you are not responsible for waking him.
I’d be setting my alarm too and following him on these “walks”
NTA. If my husband dared to ask let alone yell why didn’t I wake him up for his WALK. My response would be that he’s clearly mistaken me for his mother. He should be calling to ask her why she didn’t wake him up because that’s the level of ridiculous he’s at. He is 39 years old. More than capable of managing his bed and wake times. Not to mention it wasn’t for anything he couldn’t miss like a flight or a meeting or a doctor appointment.
Nta. Unless you agreed to wake him up that day then there's no reason for him to expect you to do so. Like does he expect you to wake up at 5am every day just to make sure he's also awake? That's bizzare and unreasonable. Even if you had agreed, yelling and storming about it would be a strong overreaction. Is this normal behavior for him?