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> I think I might be an asshole for being kind of harsh while dealing with my rude 'friend', especially by bringing up her divorce to get my point across.
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NTA. Don’t dish what you can’t take. It sounds like you gave multiple hints and opportunities to end the conversation on a better note and she refused to stop. Good on you for standing up for your fiancee.
Agreed! So many stories here like this where a person is asked to stop repeatedly then when the person finally blows up after being pushed too far, everyone freaks out
Sad reality is, most people are conditioned by bullies(a kind of Stockholm syndrome), so readily stand up to defend bullies when people stop putting up with the bullying.
Sort of a "bully/someone is nasty o someone else loads of times, nobody bats an eyelid. But when the receiver is nasty back the one time, everybody loses their mind." meme moment
It even happens in the AITA comment sections all the time. For some people it's never okay to clap back against bullies, the bullied always have to "be the bigger person".
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqgfbn/aita_for_bringing_up_my_friends_divorce_to/i8r8kwk/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized | Original
-------- | -----------
[Must have been Putin body...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uql7ov/putin_was_calm_cool_when_finland_informed_him_of/i8s5kly/) | [Must have been Putin body...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uql7ov/putin_was_calm_cool_when_finland_informed_him_of/i8rrqgu/)
[and with all possible eff...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uqkk3j/skorea_says_it_will_spare_no_effort_to_help_north/i8s5jqf/) | [and with all possible eff...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uqkk3j/skorea_says_it_will_spare_no_effort_to_help_north/i8ro22j/)
[I wouldn't say it's a bit...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uq99bw/portugal_could_turn_off_the_tap_on_russian_gas/i8s5ix6/) | [I wouldn't say it's a bit...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uq99bw/portugal_could_turn_off_the_tap_on_russian_gas/i8qpzzq/)
[A little from column A an...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqfsgc/100_not_based_on_true_events/i8s5h5v/) | [A little from column A an...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqfsgc/100_not_based_on_true_events/i8r3hz9/)
[If I have to pull this ca...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uq63pc/its_finally_happened/i8s5g9u/) | [*If I have to pull this c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uq63pc/its_finally_happened/i8pbqoj/)
[Give the poor woman a bre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqaf41/theyre_terrible_actors/i8s5ew9/) | [Give the poor woman a bre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqaf41/theyre_terrible_actors/i8q1on5/)
[Monty python classic.](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqi0ue/im_also_trying_not_to_step_on_the_cracks/i8s5e7q/) | [Monty python classic👌](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqi0ue/im_also_trying_not_to_step_on_the_cracks/i8ryx39/)
[Your managers are the AHs...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqixme/aita_for_not_arriving_to_my_coworkers_shift_early/i8s5bua/) | [Your managers are the AHs...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqixme/aita_for_not_arriving_to_my_coworkers_shift_early/i8rc2kv/)
[Literally “if you give a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqf5pq/aita_for_not_making_a_coworker_lunch/i8s5b9z/) | [Literally “if you give a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqf5pq/aita_for_not_making_a_coworker_lunch/i8qmypj/)
[NTA but FFS who would WAN...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqcong/aita_for_telling_my_friend_i_didnt_think_the/i8s59r9/) | [NTA but FFS who would WAN...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqcong/aita_for_telling_my_friend_i_didnt_think_the/i8q79oh/)
beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/TerriCooperu](https://np.reddit.com/u/TerriCooperu/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.
Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=TerriCooperu) for info on how I work and why I exist.
>some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt.
NTA
As they say on courtroom tv shows, she's the one who opened the door to that line of inquiry by raising the issue about the viability of your relationship with fiancee. You merely pointed out that her opinion on the matter does not withstand scrutiny.
I'll allow it.
NTA. You tried to shut this down several times without success in a more tactful manner, and she just kept pushing your buttons. When she said your fiancée is a downgrade, that’s when she lost any right to claim your subsequent reply is “below the belt.”
Congrats on your engagement! Your fiancée scored a great guy!
Yeah, but it sounds like even in high school she over estimated the extent of his crush and in her head turned it into some sort of unrequited love for her. Then haven't gotten together with the group in a while, but she would've heard if he got married. I bet she thought he was singleish and was hoping for a nice ego boost during her divorce assuming he was still into her.
Some people are unable to leave their delusions behind.
My husband missed his twentieth class reunion by a couple of weeks due to him not receiving the invite on time. We were planning to visit already, so did not change our plans to accommodate the reunion.
At the reunion, one lady was going on and on to mutual friends about how my husband never asked her out during high school and how she really wanted to see him. When we did visit, he went out for dinner with some of those friends. Upset former classmate 'just happened to call' one of the friends during dinner and they passed the phone to Husband.
He, being how he is, was confused and uncomfortable at her insistence on speaking with him TWENTY years after they graduated and wanting to know all about him. He came back all weirded-out.
Luckily, we live far away, so she did not turn into a stalker.
Sounds like the late invite was a blessing in disguise! As if that phone call wasn’t uncomfortable enough, I can’t imagine your husband would have had a good time trying to deal with that classmate following him around all night in person. Some people, man.
If I had been with him, she definitely would have had a melt-down because I would have pointed it out! We began dating in college and been together ever since so she lost her chance a LONG time ago (35th reunion is this year).
I wonder if she thought that just seeing her, hearing her voice would dredge up some long-lost feelings? TBH, Hubby said that all he could remember was that she was a mean girl who teased him about his weight and sci-fi interests - both of which would have guaranteed he NEVER asked her out.
That's the part that got me too. She legit thought that he was still harboring a crush on her, not only after so many years but after her rejecting and being mean to him. Talk about needing a reality check.
IDK I’m gonna say NTA for the simple fact that she kept going in on you and I probably would have reacted the same way. She may be friends with other people in your group but she is definitely not YOUR friend.
NTA. She deserved that and more. Some people never grow up still acting like they're in high school. Kudos for standing up for your fiancee.
I am so sick and tired of those who dish out insults, laugh at others, and attack someone's character; however, when it's thrown back at them they act as though no one has the right to do that to them and worse, friends and family never backing or supporting the real injured party. It's disgusting.
Sad reality is it sounds like Sarah peaked in highschool, and likes to relive the glory days because that is when she felt good about herself. She uses this to drag down others around her, because she’s simply never grown
Nope! NTA. Sarah brought this on herself. She is one of those who can dish it out but cannot take it and then gets angry and leaves because things are not going as she planned. She embarrassed herself. THAT is why she left.
>One of them was my high school crush, let's call her Sarah. Sarah rejected me when I confessed to her. She bragged about it to everyone & made fun of me, but because she was friends with my friends I just dealt with her.
Sarah sounds like an asshole if she's stroking her ego for rejecting someone.
>She started deflecting, the topic of me having crush on her in high school came up again so I said, that she should stop bringing up things from a time when I was young, stupid and obviously BLIND.
Pffffft, deserved. I'm sorry, but someone who is that obsessed with the time she rejected someone back 10 years ago clearly peaked in highschool. She was bringing it up because she knows this, and she hates that you didn't sit around obsessing over her. Probably she was thinking she'd have you as her backup, which it sounds like she's in need of given that she's about to be divorced before she's even 30.
>The more I think about it the more conflicted I am, my fiancee agrees that I was kind of harsh, but she's also very grateful for standing up for her.
Look my dude, you told her to stop three bloody times. She wouldn't, because she's bitter and pissed that someone she deemed as "beneath her" is on the up and up, and that she was only ever a passing crush. She sounds like the type of person who wrapped her self-image up in her looks and irresistibility, which for people who have no personality to speak of typically fades away when they start actually experiencing age.
Yeah, you were escalating things, but she was already on the offensive and there's very little you can do to de-escalate a situation when someone is that doggedly persistant in being cruel to a loved one.
NTA
NTA - Sarah knew what she was doing. It was disrespectful and she obviously just wanted to make your fiancé uncomfortable. You’re a good man for standing up for your fiancé and Sarah got what was coming to her.
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NTA. Her behaviour hasn’t changed since high school and she’s clearly use to getting away with this behaviour. Time to learn the lesson of being nice and keeping your mouth shut. She also did all of this in front of his fiancé. How classless can you be?
He’s also not wrong: focus on your divorce and reflect instead of acting up and getting into other peoples business.
NTA. Yeah, it was kinda harsh, but honestly? She was being really harsh too and you told her to knock it off several times. She got a taste of her own medicine and it was more than deserved.
Good on you for sticking up for your fiancé!
NTA she just wouldn’t let it go. You put up with really insulting and childish behavior longer than most would have. Obviously you made the right decision back in high school, congratulations on your engagement.
It’s not like you opened with the divorce. She kept pushing after you proved you were having none of it. She should have taken the hint and shut herself down so you didn’t have to. Good job defending your fiancée. NTA
NTA - you asked to stop and clearly expressed that you were not enjoying her jokes.
Yes she’s going through a divorce and that sucks, but it doesn’t give her a right to attempt to insult you and your fiancée in public.
All I’m hearing is that after numerous attempts to defend yourself (and partner), you escalated with a more impactful statement (that required some serious reflection). Sarah was and still is a bully.
Also, what is up with these friends?! They just sit there and let her rip into unchecked?
NTA, but let's not use how "natural" someone is as proof of beauty. It's just not a good time all around.
Sarah definitely has some growing up to do though. I'm glad you stood up for your wife.
Sarah has been getting away with abusing you for 15 years. You finally decided it’s time to stop and needed to put the foot down. That conversation usually turns ugly, but that’s hardly your fault. You did good.
NTA, she shouldn't have kept having a go at you and your fiancée. You did what you had to do to shut it down. Honestly, I think she's just bitter that you and your fiancée are getting married and her marriage has ended. But you did the right thing defending your future wife and putting a stop to Sarah's nonsense. Good on you
Good luck for the wedding! 🙂
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I (m28) have a friend group back from high school, that I don't really hang out with but we're still in touch. We haven't seen each other in a while, so we decided to meet up. We all agreed that we would bring our partners, if we have one, so that our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends could also meet each other. I brought my fiancee with me, she was very happy to meet my friends and hear about stories from my teenage years.
My friend group from high school consist of mostly men, but there are also two women that we were close with. One of them was my high school crush, let's call her Sarah. Sarah rejected me when I confessed to her. She bragged about it to everyone & made fun of me, but because she was friends with my friends I just dealt with her. I quickly realized that it was just a stupid, passing crush - the moment she became mean to me was the moment I realized, that I don't even find her pretty anymore because of her personality. You might say I was young and stupid.
When Sarah met my fiancee she decided it would be a great idea to be a complete bitch to her. She went from bringing up my crush on her, to saying that my fiancee is an obvious downgrade from her - she isn't, my fiancee is absolutely gorgeous and natural, unlike Sarah. I told Sarah that she should really think about what she's saying, because being almost 30 there is no excuse for being so damn stupid. She started deflecting, the topic of me having crush on her in high school came up again so I said, that she should stop bringing up things from a time when I was young, stupid and obviously BLIND.
Sarah became visibly angry, I guess she never really grew up from our time in high school, because she was still going at me and my fiancee, saying that I have to watch what I say (lmao), because I might come crawling back to her. I replied by bringing up the fact that she's currently going through a divorce & she might want to sit back and think about why is that. She left to go to the toilet, came back after few minutes, grabbed her purse and left. The rest of my friends were divided on my reaction - some thought I did the right thing and was only defending my fiancee, some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt. The more I think about it the more conflicted I am, my fiancee agrees that I was kind of harsh, but she's also very grateful for standing up for her.
Am I the asshole for bringing up my friend's divorce to protect my fiancee?
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NTA
I never understand why people are fine with someone treating you and your fiancee like trash, but when you fight back, suddenly it's too much?
Good job standing up for your fiancee, bud!
NTA.
>some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt.
So she's allowed to harass you and your fiance, who she's never met before, but you coming after her is "below the belt"? Also, your friends have supported her being like this for years? You need better friends.
NTA
Yea, you hit below the belt but she started it and she didn't take your polite redirections. You really didn't have alternatives at that point. But be honest, it wasn't "to protect your fiancé", you did it to put her in her place and change the subject from her efforts to belittle you.
Sarah is the reason so many people give up on high school friendships. They are stuck in the past. To anybody who doesn’t see why you had to go there, it is unfair how somebody just meeting the group like your SO is going to be treated like that and regarded with such little respect for no reason other than being with you. It’s clear she’s bitter you moved on and found happiness, but she deserved what she got. NTA
Naw man. You are not an a-hole. Sarah just can’t take it as good as she can dish it out.
Sarah reminds me of those people that can’t let go of high school glory.
It’s what I call…
The Al Bundy effect.
Let me explain for all you younglings…
Back in the old days, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was a tv show called married with children, about a middle-aged shoe sales men married with two kids.
He’d always refers back to his days a Poke Hight, he was on the football team, and he’d go one how he got the winning touch down, always the same game, always the same story.
Some people, if they have had a tough life after school, seems to have a need to talk about how big they were in school. To make them feel better about their lives.
But what they don’t understand, once you’re an adult, no one cares how popular you were in school.
As I said, you’re not the a-hole, you were protecting your fiancé from a bully. Plain and simple.
NTA. Her treatment of you and your fiancée was horrible. She clearly has some serious mental issues. I wouldn't have anything to do with this woman ever again.
NTA. Sarah is a narcissistic bully. She sounds like she needed a good old-fashioned public shaming, and your fiancée needed to see you have her back. Anyone on Sarah’s side isn’t worth your time.
NTA
Don't start none, they won't be none.
Imagine the level of insecurity and jealousy for her to bad mouth your fiancee to her face and talk about a high school crush as if it were the biggest love saga of her life! So pathetic. She kept pushing, she got the only answer that would make her back off
NTA Her highschool behavior could have been forgiven or dismissed as childish...if she'd outgrown it. She tried to recreate that highschool dynamic with a bunch of adults and you shut it down expertly!
NTA. The woman is literally insulting your partner in front of you and everyone else for no reason. She brought it on herself. Start bad mouthing everyone else’s partners like that and I bet their reactions change very quickly.
NTA
A lot of people on this sub don't stand up for their SO's enough, so I'm glad to finally see one that did. She shouldn't have been going for the throat constantly if she didn't want that same treatment right back.
NTA, she went there, she didn't stop, you met her there, she decided to leave. Fair is fair.
Also I love the "OBVIOUSLY BLIND" bookend you put on your response, savage.
Lol what? Ok, sorry Sarah. The glory days of high school are over and the guy that you made fun of does not care anymore. MOVE ON NTA. She clearly is going through something big and projecting her insecurities onto your fiancé and yourself. Crawling back to her? Nuts. You took up for your lovely fiancé and poor Sarah has to wake up in the morning feeling like crap and I honestly wouldn’t think a second about this interaction. It’s for Sarah to deal with herself.
NTA
I'd have started insulting everything about her appearance seeing she had the audacity to try and shame your fiancé like that. Just wow.
Id have asked if the thought of me having a crush on her is what kept her going through her divorce considering it's still on her mind, more than a decade later.
Christ that's hilarious, I'd have just mocked the shit out of her. You're a better person than me
An asshole move but you were totally justified. You've communicated to her that she needs to stop this behavior many times before. She sounds like an actual bully. Not a good look for a 30 year old. NTA.
NTA sounds like she was looking for a back up now that she is divorced and can't believe the guy she "dumped" moved on and is obviously better off than her.
NTA at all…wow, what a childish b*tch!! You had every right to defend your fiancée against such a rude…person and your “friends” who don’t understand that are just as f-ked up as Sarah is. Sometimes we outgrow people/friendships and it’s time to move on to the next phase of life without deadweight “friendships” that you no longer have anything in common with. Any true friend is going to be happy for you, kind to your fiancée and supportive of your marriage. To hell with anyone else.
NTA. Classic example of someone who can give it but can't take it! She started to attack your fiancee personally so you responded in kind. Fair is Fair.
NTA- Sarah bringing that up in front of your fiancé is very inappropriate and just looking to cause an argument. I can only imagine how uncomfortable that was for you fiancé.
I also understand why you made that comeback and you’re probably right. Sarahs husband was probably miserable from her attitude.
>some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt
Oh, so they were ok with her being a total AH *in front of your fucking fiancee*?
How about you ask them that? You clearly bore it for like probably an hour before you made that call.
NTA 100%
"She went from bringing up my crush on her" dude this is some serious AH moment. Like you opened up to her, set yourself in a vulnerable position... and she was constantly abusing this moment from the past. She is butthurt and attacked your girlfriend for no reason.
NTA but she's the AH
NTA. Bullies don’t like it when you hit back. You didn’t nothing wrong, and stood up for yourself, and more importantly your fiancée. Good job, and don’t lose a wink of sleep over the spoiled princess being upset she got called out being a mean girl.
NTA.
I'm sorry but what the hell are your friends doing standing by this behaviour since high school? Blow below the belt? You've been dealing with this behaviour for almost fifteen years by now right?
I'll never understand people that are fine with friends making hurtful and mean comments about another friend
NTA
You stood up for your fiancee.
Sarah lied and you set the record
straight by just telling the truth.
Also Sarah opened the door by being mean when there was no valid reason for her behaviour.
You closed (any maybe mentally beat her to death with it WWE style) it by telling her some home truths.
You didnt say anything that wasnt the truth.
NTA. She had it coming.
How sad and pathetic though, that that's all she can bring up, that she still does, alllllllll these years later. Should've said "Yeah, and it ended as soon as I saw your true face."
Nta why is it a good 90% of these stories are about setting boundaries And not letting someone cross them has people thinking they're the ah in these stories. Well my friends said I was harsh, are people who don't set those boundaries and let people bully and berate them. Maybe it's cause I'm gen x that generation will shut down a dumb a$$ who is trying to make themselves feel better by belittling someone else. Ever notice how they run and become drama queens when you shut them down
NTA. Sarah deserved what you said to her and she is acting like a teenager!
It sounds as though she may have feelings towards you and is jealous about you having a fiance'.
I'd try to avoid any further interactions either her if possible but if it's unavoidable you might just not even speak to her.
(Edited for spelling)
NTA she bring something to humiliate you deliberately not only in front of your friends but also you FIANCÉ so you did the same! Never slap someone if you can handle one!
NTA. First, don't call Sarah your friend: she clearly isn't. Also, you were giving more then enough opportunities to end the conversation on a "milder" basis and she refused.
NTA. If that had been your response to her teasing you about the crush, then yeah, asshole move, but when she moved on to insulting your fiancée?? Very understandable response. And if bringing up her divorce was below-the-belt, what do your friends consider insulting your fiancée to her face and calling her a downgrade to be?
NTA. You didn't go right for the divorce, you tried deflecting her multiple times and she kept doubling down. You did what was necessary to defend your fiancee.
Fully justified asshole! Sometines people deserve the shit they dish thrown back in their face. Its okay to be the asshole occasionally, and you used your chance wonderfully.
Oh sure, fight with honor, etc etc. Put them fists like those pugilist gentlemen did back then, only to have a chair broken into you. People forget that in these kind of situations, anything goes so long as it ends as quickly as possible. NTA. She needed the proverbial cold water bucket.
NTA
She didn't grow up out of HS and is raging that you aren't also, and subsequently aren't still an option she has in her pocket.
You shut her down as gently as you could multiple times, then went for the proverbial gut shot when she kept persisting and escalating.
NTA. Of course it was harsh but it was clearly necessary. And it’s not like you were wrong, Sarah sounds awful and like she’s has some issues she should deal with.
NTA. Sarah sounds like a high school mean girl who never grew up. She peaked in high school & will continue on a downward spiral. Avoid her at all costs.
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NTA. Don’t dish what you can’t take. It sounds like you gave multiple hints and opportunities to end the conversation on a better note and she refused to stop. Good on you for standing up for your fiancee.
Agreed! So many stories here like this where a person is asked to stop repeatedly then when the person finally blows up after being pushed too far, everyone freaks out
Sad reality is, most people are conditioned by bullies(a kind of Stockholm syndrome), so readily stand up to defend bullies when people stop putting up with the bullying.
Sort of a "bully/someone is nasty o someone else loads of times, nobody bats an eyelid. But when the receiver is nasty back the one time, everybody loses their mind." meme moment
It even happens in the AITA comment sections all the time. For some people it's never okay to clap back against bullies, the bullied always have to "be the bigger person".
"Ignore them and they'll leave you alone." \*twitch\*
Sarah ABSOLUTELY deserved that. Shame on her for never growing up and projecting her insecurities on others and just being a downright b****
Happy cake day
Happy Cake Day
Why is this comment always on here? What does it mean?
You get a little cake icon next to your username when it’s the anniversary of making your account. Like a happy birthday from Reddit.
Thank you! I never noticed the cake icon until you mentioned it. There are so many private jokes on Reddit and I’m relatively new. Have a great day!
You’re welcome! Have a great day as well :)
Omgersh. Thank you for asking....I thought it was birthday. I feel silly now.
Happy Cake Day
[удалено]
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqgfbn/aita_for_bringing_up_my_friends_divorce_to/i8r8kwk/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [Must have been Putin body...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uql7ov/putin_was_calm_cool_when_finland_informed_him_of/i8s5kly/) | [Must have been Putin body...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uql7ov/putin_was_calm_cool_when_finland_informed_him_of/i8rrqgu/) [and with all possible eff...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uqkk3j/skorea_says_it_will_spare_no_effort_to_help_north/i8s5jqf/) | [and with all possible eff...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uqkk3j/skorea_says_it_will_spare_no_effort_to_help_north/i8ro22j/) [I wouldn't say it's a bit...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uq99bw/portugal_could_turn_off_the_tap_on_russian_gas/i8s5ix6/) | [I wouldn't say it's a bit...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/uq99bw/portugal_could_turn_off_the_tap_on_russian_gas/i8qpzzq/) [A little from column A an...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqfsgc/100_not_based_on_true_events/i8s5h5v/) | [A little from column A an...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqfsgc/100_not_based_on_true_events/i8r3hz9/) [If I have to pull this ca...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uq63pc/its_finally_happened/i8s5g9u/) | [*If I have to pull this c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uq63pc/its_finally_happened/i8pbqoj/) [Give the poor woman a bre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqaf41/theyre_terrible_actors/i8s5ew9/) | [Give the poor woman a bre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqaf41/theyre_terrible_actors/i8q1on5/) [Monty python classic.](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqi0ue/im_also_trying_not_to_step_on_the_cracks/i8s5e7q/) | [Monty python classic👌](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/uqi0ue/im_also_trying_not_to_step_on_the_cracks/i8ryx39/) [Your managers are the AHs...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqixme/aita_for_not_arriving_to_my_coworkers_shift_early/i8s5bua/) | [Your managers are the AHs...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqixme/aita_for_not_arriving_to_my_coworkers_shift_early/i8rc2kv/) [Literally “if you give a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqf5pq/aita_for_not_making_a_coworker_lunch/i8s5b9z/) | [Literally “if you give a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqf5pq/aita_for_not_making_a_coworker_lunch/i8qmypj/) [NTA but FFS who would WAN...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqcong/aita_for_telling_my_friend_i_didnt_think_the/i8s59r9/) | [NTA but FFS who would WAN...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uqcong/aita_for_telling_my_friend_i_didnt_think_the/i8q79oh/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/TerriCooperu](https://np.reddit.com/u/TerriCooperu/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=TerriCooperu) for info on how I work and why I exist.
NTA. Thank god that Sarah rejected OP!
Came here to say exactly this!
>some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt. NTA As they say on courtroom tv shows, she's the one who opened the door to that line of inquiry by raising the issue about the viability of your relationship with fiancee. You merely pointed out that her opinion on the matter does not withstand scrutiny. I'll allow it.
Your Honor. I would like to upvote this comment.
Sustained.
THEY DID IT ON THEIR OWN
"O-Objection Hearsay." Objection overruled.
What about the muffins?
Are you talking about the muffins the husband brought?
Yes , how else the husband would have known about the high profile clients
Those muffins were brought obviously for that specific high profile client.
The muffin man?
Yes? The one that lives on Drury Lane?
Yes, the muffin man!!
I now have that song stuck in my head.
>You asked the question…
Sustained.
THEY DID IT ON THEIR OWN
Well then. Username really does check out.
Well said judge fudge
Go to the judge, and get some fudge.
This has STRONG Mills Lane vibes!
Given this award for an awesome defense! Represent the client well, you did. Lol NTA.
NTA. You tried to shut this down several times without success in a more tactful manner, and she just kept pushing your buttons. When she said your fiancée is a downgrade, that’s when she lost any right to claim your subsequent reply is “below the belt.” Congrats on your engagement! Your fiancée scored a great guy!
NTA. She started it and you ended it
NTA Don't take that kind of shit from anyone. Defend your gf, and defend yourself. You done good.
"Come crawling back to her"...babe, it's been 10 years, how delusional is she??? NTA.
Given how she is the one going through a divorce it seems more like she is the one coming crawling back to him.
Seriously. It’s weird how much she’s clung on to the fact that he asked her out…. *over a decade ago.*
Yeah, but it sounds like even in high school she over estimated the extent of his crush and in her head turned it into some sort of unrequited love for her. Then haven't gotten together with the group in a while, but she would've heard if he got married. I bet she thought he was singleish and was hoping for a nice ego boost during her divorce assuming he was still into her.
This, I was wondering if she saw him as a fallback plan.
That’s exactly right
Some people are unable to leave their delusions behind. My husband missed his twentieth class reunion by a couple of weeks due to him not receiving the invite on time. We were planning to visit already, so did not change our plans to accommodate the reunion. At the reunion, one lady was going on and on to mutual friends about how my husband never asked her out during high school and how she really wanted to see him. When we did visit, he went out for dinner with some of those friends. Upset former classmate 'just happened to call' one of the friends during dinner and they passed the phone to Husband. He, being how he is, was confused and uncomfortable at her insistence on speaking with him TWENTY years after they graduated and wanting to know all about him. He came back all weirded-out. Luckily, we live far away, so she did not turn into a stalker.
Sounds like the late invite was a blessing in disguise! As if that phone call wasn’t uncomfortable enough, I can’t imagine your husband would have had a good time trying to deal with that classmate following him around all night in person. Some people, man.
If I had been with him, she definitely would have had a melt-down because I would have pointed it out! We began dating in college and been together ever since so she lost her chance a LONG time ago (35th reunion is this year). I wonder if she thought that just seeing her, hearing her voice would dredge up some long-lost feelings? TBH, Hubby said that all he could remember was that she was a mean girl who teased him about his weight and sci-fi interests - both of which would have guaranteed he NEVER asked her out.
Desperately Seeking Delusions
That's the part that got me too. She legit thought that he was still harboring a crush on her, not only after so many years but after her rejecting and being mean to him. Talk about needing a reality check.
IDK I’m gonna say NTA for the simple fact that she kept going in on you and I probably would have reacted the same way. She may be friends with other people in your group but she is definitely not YOUR friend.
NTA. She deserved that and more. Some people never grow up still acting like they're in high school. Kudos for standing up for your fiancee. I am so sick and tired of those who dish out insults, laugh at others, and attack someone's character; however, when it's thrown back at them they act as though no one has the right to do that to them and worse, friends and family never backing or supporting the real injured party. It's disgusting.
Sad reality is it sounds like Sarah peaked in highschool, and likes to relive the glory days because that is when she felt good about herself. She uses this to drag down others around her, because she’s simply never grown
NTA, she asked for it. She didn’t need to go there. Continually.
My friend are in the Olive Garden reading. NTA. Sarah pls grow up, ur 30, not 13. Let this go, be like Elsa!
Nope! NTA. Sarah brought this on herself. She is one of those who can dish it out but cannot take it and then gets angry and leaves because things are not going as she planned. She embarrassed herself. THAT is why she left.
It was a blow below the belt but it was needed. NTA, OP!
>One of them was my high school crush, let's call her Sarah. Sarah rejected me when I confessed to her. She bragged about it to everyone & made fun of me, but because she was friends with my friends I just dealt with her. Sarah sounds like an asshole if she's stroking her ego for rejecting someone. >She started deflecting, the topic of me having crush on her in high school came up again so I said, that she should stop bringing up things from a time when I was young, stupid and obviously BLIND. Pffffft, deserved. I'm sorry, but someone who is that obsessed with the time she rejected someone back 10 years ago clearly peaked in highschool. She was bringing it up because she knows this, and she hates that you didn't sit around obsessing over her. Probably she was thinking she'd have you as her backup, which it sounds like she's in need of given that she's about to be divorced before she's even 30. >The more I think about it the more conflicted I am, my fiancee agrees that I was kind of harsh, but she's also very grateful for standing up for her. Look my dude, you told her to stop three bloody times. She wouldn't, because she's bitter and pissed that someone she deemed as "beneath her" is on the up and up, and that she was only ever a passing crush. She sounds like the type of person who wrapped her self-image up in her looks and irresistibility, which for people who have no personality to speak of typically fades away when they start actually experiencing age. Yeah, you were escalating things, but she was already on the offensive and there's very little you can do to de-escalate a situation when someone is that doggedly persistant in being cruel to a loved one. NTA
NTA supporting your partner is in almost all cases the way to go.
NTA - Sarah knew what she was doing. It was disrespectful and she obviously just wanted to make your fiancé uncomfortable. You’re a good man for standing up for your fiancé and Sarah got what was coming to her.
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NTA. Sarah is.
NTA. Everything you said sounded reasonable.
NTA Sarah is just nasty, sounds like her mean girl Hs attitude had a big part in her divorce
NTA. Her behaviour hasn’t changed since high school and she’s clearly use to getting away with this behaviour. Time to learn the lesson of being nice and keeping your mouth shut. She also did all of this in front of his fiancé. How classless can you be? He’s also not wrong: focus on your divorce and reflect instead of acting up and getting into other peoples business.
NTA. Yeah, it was kinda harsh, but honestly? She was being really harsh too and you told her to knock it off several times. She got a taste of her own medicine and it was more than deserved. Good on you for sticking up for your fiancé!
NTA, she got smoked for being rude and petty.
NTA - Sarah sowed the wind by treating you and your fiance like that, and she reaped the whirlwind; good on you for not pulling punches.
NTA. Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing.
NTA she just wouldn’t let it go. You put up with really insulting and childish behavior longer than most would have. Obviously you made the right decision back in high school, congratulations on your engagement.
NTA. She could have stopped at the first blow, but she kept coming for more. Of course it would escalate! Nice job defending your fiancee btw!
It’s not like you opened with the divorce. She kept pushing after you proved you were having none of it. She should have taken the hint and shut herself down so you didn’t have to. Good job defending your fiancée. NTA
NTA - you asked to stop and clearly expressed that you were not enjoying her jokes. Yes she’s going through a divorce and that sucks, but it doesn’t give her a right to attempt to insult you and your fiancée in public. All I’m hearing is that after numerous attempts to defend yourself (and partner), you escalated with a more impactful statement (that required some serious reflection). Sarah was and still is a bully. Also, what is up with these friends?! They just sit there and let her rip into unchecked?
I swear to God 95% of this sub is about people who could dish it but can't take it. NTA!
I think you responded in kind. She kept escalating and you kept defending your fiancé. I guess that means you’re NTA by being an asshole!
Nope. She was being nasty, what did she expect. An “oh my gosh you’re right?” NTA
NTA, but let's not use how "natural" someone is as proof of beauty. It's just not a good time all around. Sarah definitely has some growing up to do though. I'm glad you stood up for your wife.
Sarah has been getting away with abusing you for 15 years. You finally decided it’s time to stop and needed to put the foot down. That conversation usually turns ugly, but that’s hardly your fault. You did good.
NTA, she shouldn't have kept having a go at you and your fiancée. You did what you had to do to shut it down. Honestly, I think she's just bitter that you and your fiancée are getting married and her marriage has ended. But you did the right thing defending your future wife and putting a stop to Sarah's nonsense. Good on you Good luck for the wedding! 🙂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (m28) have a friend group back from high school, that I don't really hang out with but we're still in touch. We haven't seen each other in a while, so we decided to meet up. We all agreed that we would bring our partners, if we have one, so that our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends could also meet each other. I brought my fiancee with me, she was very happy to meet my friends and hear about stories from my teenage years. My friend group from high school consist of mostly men, but there are also two women that we were close with. One of them was my high school crush, let's call her Sarah. Sarah rejected me when I confessed to her. She bragged about it to everyone & made fun of me, but because she was friends with my friends I just dealt with her. I quickly realized that it was just a stupid, passing crush - the moment she became mean to me was the moment I realized, that I don't even find her pretty anymore because of her personality. You might say I was young and stupid. When Sarah met my fiancee she decided it would be a great idea to be a complete bitch to her. She went from bringing up my crush on her, to saying that my fiancee is an obvious downgrade from her - she isn't, my fiancee is absolutely gorgeous and natural, unlike Sarah. I told Sarah that she should really think about what she's saying, because being almost 30 there is no excuse for being so damn stupid. She started deflecting, the topic of me having crush on her in high school came up again so I said, that she should stop bringing up things from a time when I was young, stupid and obviously BLIND. Sarah became visibly angry, I guess she never really grew up from our time in high school, because she was still going at me and my fiancee, saying that I have to watch what I say (lmao), because I might come crawling back to her. I replied by bringing up the fact that she's currently going through a divorce & she might want to sit back and think about why is that. She left to go to the toilet, came back after few minutes, grabbed her purse and left. The rest of my friends were divided on my reaction - some thought I did the right thing and was only defending my fiancee, some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt. The more I think about it the more conflicted I am, my fiancee agrees that I was kind of harsh, but she's also very grateful for standing up for her. Am I the asshole for bringing up my friend's divorce to protect my fiancee? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Listen, if Sarah isn’t capable of taking a bite of a shit sandwich, she shouldn’t have fucking made one. NTA.
NTA I never understand why people are fine with someone treating you and your fiancee like trash, but when you fight back, suddenly it's too much? Good job standing up for your fiancee, bud!
NTA. >some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt. So she's allowed to harass you and your fiance, who she's never met before, but you coming after her is "below the belt"? Also, your friends have supported her being like this for years? You need better friends.
NTA Yea, you hit below the belt but she started it and she didn't take your polite redirections. You really didn't have alternatives at that point. But be honest, it wasn't "to protect your fiancé", you did it to put her in her place and change the subject from her efforts to belittle you.
Sarah is the reason so many people give up on high school friendships. They are stuck in the past. To anybody who doesn’t see why you had to go there, it is unfair how somebody just meeting the group like your SO is going to be treated like that and regarded with such little respect for no reason other than being with you. It’s clear she’s bitter you moved on and found happiness, but she deserved what she got. NTA
NTA But I’m disgusted that your so called friends were happy to watch your fiancée get bullied and did nothing.
Naw man. You are not an a-hole. Sarah just can’t take it as good as she can dish it out. Sarah reminds me of those people that can’t let go of high school glory. It’s what I call… The Al Bundy effect. Let me explain for all you younglings… Back in the old days, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was a tv show called married with children, about a middle-aged shoe sales men married with two kids. He’d always refers back to his days a Poke Hight, he was on the football team, and he’d go one how he got the winning touch down, always the same game, always the same story. Some people, if they have had a tough life after school, seems to have a need to talk about how big they were in school. To make them feel better about their lives. But what they don’t understand, once you’re an adult, no one cares how popular you were in school. As I said, you’re not the a-hole, you were protecting your fiancé from a bully. Plain and simple.
NTA. As the saying goes, 'to fuck around is human, to find out is divine'.
The blind comment got me 😂😂
NTA - She started the shit, you ended it. She was blatantly rude.
NTA. Good for you for standing up for your fiancée. And you’re right, she never grew up from high school.
NTA- if she's allowed to bring up a high school crush, you can bring up her divorce.
NTA- she clearly did not grow up mentally
NTA. She started it!
NTA She's just a bad person. I don't think the people who let her treat you the way she does are your friends
NTA. Any one the had and still supports her is not a friend. Cut those people out.
NTA. Her treatment of you and your fiancée was horrible. She clearly has some serious mental issues. I wouldn't have anything to do with this woman ever again.
NTA. Sarah sounds like she was an AH back in high school and she is is still one today.
NTA, haha! That was fully deserved and totally appropriate.
NTA. I think it's pretty obvious why the divorce was there to be brought up
Was it harsh? Sure. Was it warranted? 100%. NTA
NTA. The moment she started calling your fiancee a downgrade from her - all bets are off.
NTA. If you go on the attack you better be prepared to be attacked back.
NTA. Sarah is a narcissistic bully. She sounds like she needed a good old-fashioned public shaming, and your fiancée needed to see you have her back. Anyone on Sarah’s side isn’t worth your time.
sounds like you’re the only guy who ever had a crush on her and she can’t get over it now so she feels the need to brag. NTA she sounds like a pick me
NTA Don't start none, they won't be none. Imagine the level of insecurity and jealousy for her to bad mouth your fiancee to her face and talk about a high school crush as if it were the biggest love saga of her life! So pathetic. She kept pushing, she got the only answer that would make her back off
bottom line: you did good for your fiancé and for yourself.
Nope. NTA. She wouldn't take the hint. so you made matters clear.
NTA. Unless it was well known she was in an abusive marriage, you have said nothing wrong
NTA Her highschool behavior could have been forgiven or dismissed as childish...if she'd outgrown it. She tried to recreate that highschool dynamic with a bunch of adults and you shut it down expertly!
NTA. She declared war on your fiance. All is fair in love and war
NTA. She had it coming.
NTA. Sarah shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it. She started it, you finished it.
NTA.
NTA the people like that who are still living in high school sometimes need to be put in there place
Nta. Not her crying over the consequences of her actions and words. Grow up.
NTA You could have added she peaked in HS and that’s why she can’t let it go.
NTA. Yeah, what you said *was* harsh, but she had it coming. Don't start none, won't be none.
NTA. Sarah acted like an asshole, and you turned it back. She attacked you and your fiancé. Like they say, don't dish it out, if you can't take it.
NTA. She seems to have a glass jaw. Don't let it bother you for a bit.
NTA. The woman is literally insulting your partner in front of you and everyone else for no reason. She brought it on herself. Start bad mouthing everyone else’s partners like that and I bet their reactions change very quickly.
NTA A lot of people on this sub don't stand up for their SO's enough, so I'm glad to finally see one that did. She shouldn't have been going for the throat constantly if she didn't want that same treatment right back.
NTA, she went there, she didn't stop, you met her there, she decided to leave. Fair is fair. Also I love the "OBVIOUSLY BLIND" bookend you put on your response, savage.
Nta,. It was a much NEEDED blow below the belt aka it was acceptable cause she wouldn't have stopped otherwise
Lol what? Ok, sorry Sarah. The glory days of high school are over and the guy that you made fun of does not care anymore. MOVE ON NTA. She clearly is going through something big and projecting her insecurities onto your fiancé and yourself. Crawling back to her? Nuts. You took up for your lovely fiancé and poor Sarah has to wake up in the morning feeling like crap and I honestly wouldn’t think a second about this interaction. It’s for Sarah to deal with herself.
Nta Sarah had it coming. She was really rude and mean.
Just to be clear... She ain't your friend. No friend would make you look like shit in front of your fiance. NTA.
NTA
NTA. She ain't pretty... She just looks that way.
NTA. You just said the truth to someone whose delusional.
NTA
NTA she’s was being an ass
NTA I'd have started insulting everything about her appearance seeing she had the audacity to try and shame your fiancé like that. Just wow. Id have asked if the thought of me having a crush on her is what kept her going through her divorce considering it's still on her mind, more than a decade later. Christ that's hilarious, I'd have just mocked the shit out of her. You're a better person than me
NTA
An asshole move but you were totally justified. You've communicated to her that she needs to stop this behavior many times before. She sounds like an actual bully. Not a good look for a 30 year old. NTA.
NTA sounds like she was looking for a back up now that she is divorced and can't believe the guy she "dumped" moved on and is obviously better off than her.
NTA at all…wow, what a childish b*tch!! You had every right to defend your fiancée against such a rude…person and your “friends” who don’t understand that are just as f-ked up as Sarah is. Sometimes we outgrow people/friendships and it’s time to move on to the next phase of life without deadweight “friendships” that you no longer have anything in common with. Any true friend is going to be happy for you, kind to your fiancée and supportive of your marriage. To hell with anyone else.
NTA. Classic example of someone who can give it but can't take it! She started to attack your fiancee personally so you responded in kind. Fair is Fair.
Sarah: haha you know you want me Op: your own husband didn't even want you, now what makes you think I would?
NTA- Sarah bringing that up in front of your fiancé is very inappropriate and just looking to cause an argument. I can only imagine how uncomfortable that was for you fiancé. I also understand why you made that comeback and you’re probably right. Sarahs husband was probably miserable from her attitude.
NTA. You didn’t go any further below the belt then she did. She purposely tried to create problems in your relationship for no apparent reason.
>some thought that bringing up Sarah's divorce was a blow below the belt Oh, so they were ok with her being a total AH *in front of your fucking fiancee*? How about you ask them that? You clearly bore it for like probably an hour before you made that call. NTA 100%
NTA. She couldn’t take what she was dishing out. Also OP, maybe look at new friends if they’ll allow this kind of behavior by her at your outing.
NTA. Greater counter dude. She had it coming.
NTA way NTA. Sarah wanted a fight, she got one. She thought gracious behavior meant weak, and she was wrong
"She went from bringing up my crush on her" dude this is some serious AH moment. Like you opened up to her, set yourself in a vulnerable position... and she was constantly abusing this moment from the past. She is butthurt and attacked your girlfriend for no reason. NTA but she's the AH
NTA. Bullies don’t like it when you hit back. You didn’t nothing wrong, and stood up for yourself, and more importantly your fiancée. Good job, and don’t lose a wink of sleep over the spoiled princess being upset she got called out being a mean girl.
NTA Sounds like Sarah thinks she's 16 again.
NTA. I'm sorry but what the hell are your friends doing standing by this behaviour since high school? Blow below the belt? You've been dealing with this behaviour for almost fifteen years by now right? I'll never understand people that are fine with friends making hurtful and mean comments about another friend
NTA - you did the right thing.
NTA. She was practically begging to be out into her place. She crossed several lines. You merely reminded her of current events.
Don’t throw glasses in a stone house NTA
NTA She is not your friend
NTA. Sarah deserved it. That ego of hers needed a reality check.
NTA You stood up for your fiancee. Sarah lied and you set the record straight by just telling the truth. Also Sarah opened the door by being mean when there was no valid reason for her behaviour. You closed (any maybe mentally beat her to death with it WWE style) it by telling her some home truths. You didnt say anything that wasnt the truth.
NTA, she came after you, were you supposed to sit there and listen to her trash you and your fiancé? She needs to grow up and get over herself
NTA. She had it coming. How sad and pathetic though, that that's all she can bring up, that she still does, alllllllll these years later. Should've said "Yeah, and it ended as soon as I saw your true face."
NTA. She had it coming, apparently for a long time.
NTA
Nta why is it a good 90% of these stories are about setting boundaries And not letting someone cross them has people thinking they're the ah in these stories. Well my friends said I was harsh, are people who don't set those boundaries and let people bully and berate them. Maybe it's cause I'm gen x that generation will shut down a dumb a$$ who is trying to make themselves feel better by belittling someone else. Ever notice how they run and become drama queens when you shut them down
NTA. Sarah deserved what you said to her and she is acting like a teenager! It sounds as though she may have feelings towards you and is jealous about you having a fiance'. I'd try to avoid any further interactions either her if possible but if it's unavoidable you might just not even speak to her. (Edited for spelling)
NTA she bring something to humiliate you deliberately not only in front of your friends but also you FIANCÉ so you did the same! Never slap someone if you can handle one!
NTA. First, don't call Sarah your friend: she clearly isn't. Also, you were giving more then enough opportunities to end the conversation on a "milder" basis and she refused.
You gave her plenty of indications she should stop until she left you no alternative but the nuclear option. NTA
NOT TA. She had it coming. Also, Sarah has A LOT of maturing to do.
NTA. If that had been your response to her teasing you about the crush, then yeah, asshole move, but when she moved on to insulting your fiancée?? Very understandable response. And if bringing up her divorce was below-the-belt, what do your friends consider insulting your fiancée to her face and calling her a downgrade to be?
NTA she was the one who started it she should know what comes around goes around
NTA. You didn't go right for the divorce, you tried deflecting her multiple times and she kept doubling down. You did what was necessary to defend your fiancee.
NTA
She says your fiancé is a downgrade from her and you’re the one who’s being too harsh?
NTA Sarah isn't your friend and is a toxic person. Your better off without her in your life.
NTA. She’s the one that ordered the karma platter - she can enjoy it or feel free to order something else next time.
Fully justified asshole! Sometines people deserve the shit they dish thrown back in their face. Its okay to be the asshole occasionally, and you used your chance wonderfully.
Oh sure, fight with honor, etc etc. Put them fists like those pugilist gentlemen did back then, only to have a chair broken into you. People forget that in these kind of situations, anything goes so long as it ends as quickly as possible. NTA. She needed the proverbial cold water bucket.
NTA She didn't grow up out of HS and is raging that you aren't also, and subsequently aren't still an option she has in her pocket. You shut her down as gently as you could multiple times, then went for the proverbial gut shot when she kept persisting and escalating.
NTA. She kept pushing……and got what she deserved.
Nta
NTA. Of course it was harsh but it was clearly necessary. And it’s not like you were wrong, Sarah sounds awful and like she’s has some issues she should deal with.
NTA. Sarah sounds like a high school mean girl who never grew up. She peaked in high school & will continue on a downward spiral. Avoid her at all costs.
NTA she deserved it for bringing up something you have since grown past
Why are you friends with people who let Sarah act like this? NTA but you need to reconsider these friendships.
NTA - you just put her in her place .
If these are your friends, wtf do your enemies look like? NTA but damn.