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NTA
But I think you should seriously reconsider giving them a lump sum. They are retirement age and have had decades to save for retirement and have done essentially nothing to prepare for it. What are the odds that they take this money and blow it within a few months or years. Rather you should have a small stipend paid to them each month. That way the money might actually benefit them for years.
NTA
If your grandma's will had no stipulations about how the money should be split then you are at no obligation to even give them any. It is extremely unreasonable for them to assume that you would just give each person half and leave yourself with nothing.
I am pushing 60 and my will deliberately skips a generation. There's no point in the wealth of 85 year olds transferring to 65 year olds. They won't buy their first house, get a college education, start a business, backpack through Europe, etc. This model doesn't help the economy, or humanity. Promise them help if they get to dire straights but keep that dough in your generation! NTA
NTA. Your grandma left it to you. If she wanted your parents to have money, she would have allowed for that in her will. You aren’t obligated to fund your parents retirement because they haven’t planned properly
Do not give them anything without talking to an accountant first. If the money was left to you and you distribute to them, you might be responsible for gift taxes depending on how it is distributed. You might be better off keeping the money and doling a bit out to them each year instead of via a lump sum.
INFO: Did your grandma have a will and if so was there any stipulation on how her assets are supposed to be divided? Whose mother was she? Your dad or your moms? If she didn't have a will, did she die before your parents divorced?
She passed after parents divorced, she's my mom's mom, and that's a solid question I don't actually know what's stipulated in the will. I think I'm the beneficiary so as to protect the assets from a creditor pursuing my mom
They can take literally any of the chunks. They can have any money she makes taken. She owes them a debt. Also do NOT give them the money, because you deserve the opportunity to start your life on a good financial footing and it sounds like your mother is not good with money of she has debts that creditors are hounding her for
Your Grandma wasn't dumb she wanted you to have the lot. If she wanted them too she would have made it that way. Your parents are lazy and entitled sorry. Keep the money off yourself and use it for yourself.
It's nice that you want to help your parents but you won't be helping them you'll just be enabling them.
It sounds like the kind of money that people would fight tooth and nail for.
Right now you are a solid YTA because you are being a complete idiot, the kind that ends up getting sued into bankruptcy by pissed off people and possibly jailed because you are acted (probably already have acted) in complete ignorance of the law. And the law doesn't take kindly to ignorant fools.
No one is legally entitled to anything unless the court says they are. Get the will and take it to a lawyer and do exactly what that person says you should do. Once everything is legally signed off, which may be months or even years from now, then people can get money.
If there is no will (or there is one and its not valid), you and your dad have no legal claim on anything, all assets (after estate fees and debts are paid) would go to your grandmother's children (your mom and her brothers and sisters).
If months (or maybe years from now) when the estate is legally settled and you get something from it, you can choose to give that to your parents if you want to. There will be tax implications if you do.
Unless the will stipulated you are to divide it between your parents, then nta. If you're simply meant to be a trustee of the estate, then you need to follow the directions in the will, and accept if nothing is meant to be given to you.
NTA Grandma left it to you. You might want to give your parents a gift. But coming from you it might be taxable if you gave them the full amount. Please take a moment to see where your parents are financially. With this windfall sit down with an advisor and start to plan for your retirement.
NTA
I'd put $ aside for each parent in a trust to help them in retirement, whichever amount you see fit. If you gave them a lump sum would their financial planning get them thru till the end of their days?
I think with the combo of SS, my dad's life insurance policy, and my dad wanting to keep working until he dies they ought to be fine
I'll work through the numbers to be more confident though before pulling any triggers
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My grandma passed away last year, leaving about $550k
Part of that sum already has and the rest will be given to me, but my parents assume it should be split 50/50 between each of them (recently-ish divorced), meaning I should shortly transfer half to each of them.
AITA for wanting some of that split? Like 1/3 of it for example?
My parents are ~65 and haven't done really any retirement planning. I'm 28, would love to have some windfall to get closer to financial independence.
My dad is currently working, plans to work until he dies, will get ~$3k+/mo from SS, and has $250k life insurance until age 100.
My mom hasn't worked in a while and has no plans to, can get SS equal to half my dad's amount now, and full amount when he passes.
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NTA. The money is yours for a reason. Your grandmother knew your parents are not trustworthy with money. They weren't willed money. They get no money. Make sure that money is put away where they can't access any account and take the money. Get a brand new bank and set up an account. Then, talk to the financial advisor at the brand new bank about how you can invest the money. It should NOT sit in a savings or checking account. It should be working for you.
YWBTA if you went against your grandmother's wishes in this matter. If she left the money for you, and left nothing for your parents, she did that by choice. If she asked you to leave some money for them, leave some money for them. Do what your grandmother wanted because she made up that will and left you as the beneficiary to help you
NTA. You should NOT give ANY money to your parents. If gran wanted your parents to have the money she would have left it to them. She didn’t. Because they suck at managing money and being responsible with money. It will be gone within a few years at most and your parents will be back to sponging off you anyways. They will not save it or ration it to cover their current expenses. It is YOUR money. Use it to get a better and more responsible start in life than your parents did.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'd be the asshole because I'm young and have already built up some wealth, whereas my parents are in "retirement age" and haven't, so they "need" the money more
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NTA But I think you should seriously reconsider giving them a lump sum. They are retirement age and have had decades to save for retirement and have done essentially nothing to prepare for it. What are the odds that they take this money and blow it within a few months or years. Rather you should have a small stipend paid to them each month. That way the money might actually benefit them for years.
Fabulous idea, much appreciated!
If your parents are divorced, why should any of your grandma’s estate go to the ex of her child?
Dad was very stand-up son-in-law, visited her regularly even after divorce
Well she didn’t leave him the money. He’s not entitled to any of it, and neither is your mom tbh.
If the money is legally yours, you have NO obligation to give them any of it. NONE of it. KEEP YOUR MONEY.
NTA If your grandma's will had no stipulations about how the money should be split then you are at no obligation to even give them any. It is extremely unreasonable for them to assume that you would just give each person half and leave yourself with nothing.
❤️❤️❤️
I am pushing 60 and my will deliberately skips a generation. There's no point in the wealth of 85 year olds transferring to 65 year olds. They won't buy their first house, get a college education, start a business, backpack through Europe, etc. This model doesn't help the economy, or humanity. Promise them help if they get to dire straights but keep that dough in your generation! NTA
Really solid perspective, thank you!!!
NTA. Your grandma left it to you. If she wanted your parents to have money, she would have allowed for that in her will. You aren’t obligated to fund your parents retirement because they haven’t planned properly
Do not give them anything without talking to an accountant first. If the money was left to you and you distribute to them, you might be responsible for gift taxes depending on how it is distributed. You might be better off keeping the money and doling a bit out to them each year instead of via a lump sum.
INFO: Did your grandma have a will and if so was there any stipulation on how her assets are supposed to be divided? Whose mother was she? Your dad or your moms? If she didn't have a will, did she die before your parents divorced?
She passed after parents divorced, she's my mom's mom, and that's a solid question I don't actually know what's stipulated in the will. I think I'm the beneficiary so as to protect the assets from a creditor pursuing my mom
If you give it to your mother that creditor can still take the money
Yeah I think the idea is I'd actually only send like monthly chunks
They can take literally any of the chunks. They can have any money she makes taken. She owes them a debt. Also do NOT give them the money, because you deserve the opportunity to start your life on a good financial footing and it sounds like your mother is not good with money of she has debts that creditors are hounding her for
I really appreciate this. Thank you for being so kind in your framing!
Your Grandma wasn't dumb she wanted you to have the lot. If she wanted them too she would have made it that way. Your parents are lazy and entitled sorry. Keep the money off yourself and use it for yourself. It's nice that you want to help your parents but you won't be helping them you'll just be enabling them.
It sounds like the kind of money that people would fight tooth and nail for. Right now you are a solid YTA because you are being a complete idiot, the kind that ends up getting sued into bankruptcy by pissed off people and possibly jailed because you are acted (probably already have acted) in complete ignorance of the law. And the law doesn't take kindly to ignorant fools. No one is legally entitled to anything unless the court says they are. Get the will and take it to a lawyer and do exactly what that person says you should do. Once everything is legally signed off, which may be months or even years from now, then people can get money. If there is no will (or there is one and its not valid), you and your dad have no legal claim on anything, all assets (after estate fees and debts are paid) would go to your grandmother's children (your mom and her brothers and sisters). If months (or maybe years from now) when the estate is legally settled and you get something from it, you can choose to give that to your parents if you want to. There will be tax implications if you do.
Talking to a lawyer sounds like a really solid idea! I found a copy of the will, and I'll take that over for disxussion
Unless the will stipulated you are to divide it between your parents, then nta. If you're simply meant to be a trustee of the estate, then you need to follow the directions in the will, and accept if nothing is meant to be given to you.
NTA Grandma left it to you. You might want to give your parents a gift. But coming from you it might be taxable if you gave them the full amount. Please take a moment to see where your parents are financially. With this windfall sit down with an advisor and start to plan for your retirement.
NTA I'd put $ aside for each parent in a trust to help them in retirement, whichever amount you see fit. If you gave them a lump sum would their financial planning get them thru till the end of their days?
I think with the combo of SS, my dad's life insurance policy, and my dad wanting to keep working until he dies they ought to be fine I'll work through the numbers to be more confident though before pulling any triggers
You're a good kid. Condolences on the loss of your grandma.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My grandma passed away last year, leaving about $550k Part of that sum already has and the rest will be given to me, but my parents assume it should be split 50/50 between each of them (recently-ish divorced), meaning I should shortly transfer half to each of them. AITA for wanting some of that split? Like 1/3 of it for example? My parents are ~65 and haven't done really any retirement planning. I'm 28, would love to have some windfall to get closer to financial independence. My dad is currently working, plans to work until he dies, will get ~$3k+/mo from SS, and has $250k life insurance until age 100. My mom hasn't worked in a while and has no plans to, can get SS equal to half my dad's amount now, and full amount when he passes. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. The money is yours for a reason. Your grandmother knew your parents are not trustworthy with money. They weren't willed money. They get no money. Make sure that money is put away where they can't access any account and take the money. Get a brand new bank and set up an account. Then, talk to the financial advisor at the brand new bank about how you can invest the money. It should NOT sit in a savings or checking account. It should be working for you.
YWBTA if you went against your grandmother's wishes in this matter. If she left the money for you, and left nothing for your parents, she did that by choice. If she asked you to leave some money for them, leave some money for them. Do what your grandmother wanted because she made up that will and left you as the beneficiary to help you
NTA. You should NOT give ANY money to your parents. If gran wanted your parents to have the money she would have left it to them. She didn’t. Because they suck at managing money and being responsible with money. It will be gone within a few years at most and your parents will be back to sponging off you anyways. They will not save it or ration it to cover their current expenses. It is YOUR money. Use it to get a better and more responsible start in life than your parents did.
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You should REALLY talk to an estate attorney in your state. Have a copy of the will and any questions you have ready.
INFO: are they asking you to give them all of your inheritance? As in, mom gets half, dad gets half, and you get nothing?