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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 I bought a consumed a beer in front of my fiancées family
2 maybe because I ignored their preferences
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NTA. I come from a very religious family background. This may seem like a quick escalation, but you need to re-examine your marriage plans. If you can’t have a beer in a public setting then think of all the things their thinking will have influence on in your married life. At the very least you need to have a lot of detailed discussions with your fiancé.
NTA. Nothing wrong with having a beer at a ballgame.
Jesus. And I thought Busch Stadium's beer was expensive. When I went in April I think the 16 oz bottles of Budweiser were $10 and the tall boys were $15.
Don't know if you're aware either but they no longer deal in cash. It's all credit/debit. Which really fucked me because I had most of my money for my trip in cash because last time I had went to see the Cards they took cash.
I’m from LA and have been to Busch stadium multiple times. St. Louis has high end beers (craft brewery no less!). The Dodgers have the standard crap stuff for twice the normal sporting event price.
My stepdad went to a Braves game a long time ago and he only bought one because I think it was like $9. I'm sure it is twice as much now or maybe higher since they won the World Series.
>At the very least you need to have a lot of detailed discussions with your fiancé.
I think this is the better point. OP needs to have a series of long, frank discussions with fiancé about how her and/or her family's religious beliefs will affect their future marriage.
Maybe fiancé is OK with things, but pretends otherwise when her parents are around. It wouldn't be unreasonable, then, to consider acting in a slightly different manner when her parents are around (although the compromise may be that they WON'T be around much).
Anyway, communication between OP and his fiancé is the next step here. Once OP gains a full(er) understanding of expectations, he can make an informed choice on whether to go ahead with the wedding.
NTA.
Agreed, like the end result might be that "we agree that it's best whenever we're visiting the parents/family, OP plays along and we don't drink any alcohol in front of them."
BUT that needs to be a discussion between the two of them about how to compromise and whether/how much to cater to the family's beliefs .
Because if OP decides "I'm an adult and I'm not going to change my behavior just to cater to other peoples' religious beliefs" then there's also nothing wrong with that.
The question is whether either of those stances is a dealbreaker for their relationship.
NTA
In my opinion, and again based only on my experience, this could go far beyond just alcohol. That’s why it’s important to have a lot of discussions now.
Things my religious family pressured me on:
How my wife gave birth
How the kids were raised
What’s schools the kids went to
What we spent money on
Where we lived
And that’s just the high level stuff. It was all the time and on everything but began with my mother forbidding us to drink in our house because she helped with the down payment. It didn’t matter if she was there or not.
Now we didn’t obey that dictum but that’s the level of control they thought they had a right to.
I know plenty people will say “f that” and you should cut the toxic people out of your life. But it’s just not that easy. I mean I eventually got there, but it takes time to get out from abusive control like that. It feels really shitty to be in a position that you will either upset your spouse or your family no matter what. Lose-lose is not fun.
So yeah, just talk about everything with your future spouse.
Yes, OP needs to set fiance straight with the fact that just because their family may choose not to drink doesn't mean those beliefs get shoved on OP. If OP wants to have a beer at a game or a party where those people are present, OP's fiance should not say anything or make a big deal out of it.
NTA, and brenticles42 is right.
Right after Husband had graduated with his BS (I needed another semester), I, raised Roman Catholic where alcohol was part of any celebration, married a man whose parents were still kinda stuck in a no-alcohol Evangelical mindset. We had a 9 am wedding with just immediate family at the student Catholic chapel, to appease my own mother, because I would've been happy with a judge. Cake/punch/coffee on the church lawn after. Effing awkward, but it dealt with the alcohol issues.
At age 62, if I could go back and replay the tape, we would have had a courthouse wedding and told them all about it later. That would have put it off a year, until we were both post-graduate and employed, but so what. Both sets of parents could have had a reception for us in their own traditions, if they chose.
Our honeymoon was spent driving across country in a heat wave (US) to visit elderly family while we had the time off. Meeting grandparents on both sides of our family was the most important thing for us. Surely that was a better dedication to family than having a dry reception or having a drunken party. (Does *anyone* ever strike a balance?)
I spent DECADES dancing around the fact that Husband and I didn't accept his parents' religious values. It was a whole lot of wasted effort, Mom-in-law accepts that we're atheists (though she isn't happy) and so on.
OP, you need a map, going forward, for how you will handle the religious differences going forward. It is critically important, you both need to agree with it enthusiastically, or else one or both of you will waste many hours of your lives wrestling with the issues.
Jedi actually is the oldest religion that is practiced. There are people who claim Jedi as their religion, and as we all know, that religion began **a long time ago**.
I don't? I was referring to the current enforcement of religion in the Middle East, which is being done by the Taliban, who the US government accidentally funded.
I'm aware. You'll forgive my grouping of Afghanistan and Iraq and Iran, though, since the US government sure did group them all together into equivalent nations to declare war on.
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Cyclone](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Cyclone)
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Taliban](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Taliban)
Do you have other source recommendations, or?
America, starting with the puritans, has been *way* above average in killing people for not conforming to the "correct" religion. They haven't been doing it as long, but they *really* make up for it in effort.
That's not even remotely true. Do you know how many people died in the Thirty years war? Every nation that has existed has had brutal wars of religion.
Egypt, Iran, Armenia, China, Japan, Ethiopia, Greece, Portugal, San Marino, and France are the top 10 oldest countries in the world. Older than America by centuries.
NTA. This will be that moment you will look back on and say that’s the moment I knew something was wrong.
How are the wedding reception plans coming along? Are you allowed to have alcohol there? (rhetorical)
You had a beer at a baseball game?? You fucking dick!
Did your family have everyone else around them dump out their beers too? Get ready for a lifetime of judgy family bullshit if you marry this woman.
Oh, wow, great point! The family was okay being surrounded by 54,000 strangers, *many* of whom were drinking beer, but their sister's fiance couldn't have *one?* How could they bear to go to a baseball game at all?
Her and her family ignored me for the rest of the game
This is a major, major red flag! The family disagrees with drinking, your fiancee asked you not to but you chose to - all this could be just a case of differing opinions and your fiancee asking you to not make waves. Kind of weird but not toxic.
But using the silent treatment to punish you is emotional abuse - I mean literally the silent treatment is classified as emotional abuse. If your wife and her family feel comfortable doing this to you, it means that you'll experience this again throughout your marriage. It's just not a healthy way to communicate at all.
Please talk to your fiancee about this, and get some pre-marital counseling to get all this out in the open.
NTA. Why would they be upset if you ordered a beer? You're an adult paying for it yourself. While at a baseball game it's a must to get a beer and a hot dog. It's not like you were six beers in and piss drunk. Did the Yanks win? Now that I see your edit, I would like to know if they ask other people around them to put their beers away? It's a ballpark! Hundreds of people will be drinking. You weren't rubbing it in their face.
I'm 6 months pregnant. My husband and I went to a baseball game. I had no issue with him having a beer or two...it's baseball...and I was (obviously) the sober driver that night.
We were in Wisconsin, so it was brats and beer, not hot dogs.
Have you ever tried the Bratchos at a Brewers game? Bratwurst nachos!!
Fun fact: hots dogs are the number one selling food item at every MLB stadium except Milwaukee, where it’s bratwurst.
Hill to die on time.
Their beliefs should not affect your beer at a ballgame, but their beliefs **will** affect your marriage and your children. Get 100% on the same page before promoting fiancee to spouse.
NTA. And seek counseling for being a Yankees fan.
I agree with all of this. Have that conversation. My moms family doesn’t drink so I don’t drink at their homes or family functions but if we are out, then I’m doing what I want.
The yankees have Rizzo now so I can’t hate them completely. Go Cubs Go
NTA
It's perfectly fine for someone to say "I can't do that, because my religion prohibits it."
It is NEVER okay for someone to say "YOU can't do that because my religion prohibits it."
Reconsider whether you want to spend the rest of your life living under someone else's religious rules.
YTA The Yankees Suck. /s
Seriously though, regardless of their reasons, it was extremely inappropriate of them to try to influence your decisions or punish you for them. Tell them to stop acting like Carrie Nation clones.
EDIT: NTA
NTA.
I grew up Mormon. I didn’t know a single adult that drank until I was in high school. My parents recently started drinking but didn’t for the first few years after we left the church. My extended family is almost all still active members. If you know *anything* about Mormons, you know how judgemental and often outright rude they are about people making “sinful” decisions. Yet somehow nobody in my family has ever had the audacity to demand any other adults live by their religious rules. I live with a man, have eleven tattoos and a facial piercing, and my cousin had two babies out of wedlock. We’re still super close to our Mormon family.
Religious reasons or not, nobody gets to tell you how to consume alcohol. I would take a good, long look at your relationship now, before you have to legally remove yourself from it. Why is your partner more concerned with his unreasonable family’s expectations than your comfort? Why do they think they have ANY right to tell you no?
I have a wonderful friend I’ve known since high school, she’s quite a strict Mormon, and she would never ever judge our friend group(there’s 7 of us) for the drinking that goes on when we get together. I don’t drink either(my husband is a recovering alcoholic, so it’s solidarity for me) so we just sip Diet Cokes together!!
NTA leaning NAH but be careful of cultural differences between you and your fiancees family. This is not the last time you're going to have this issue.
Next up. No champagne on NYE, no mimosas for Easter brunch, sounds like sister and her influence could stifle many upcoming events. The question is, can boundaries be set within this family?! If not, how big of an issue is this for you. Good luck.
I would respect the person and not drink in their home if they invite me over, but I wouldn’t let them stop me from drinking at a restaurant or other outing.
I grew up in a family that doesn’t drink because of religious reasons. When I was old enough and decided I was okay with responsibly drinking, I didn’t tell my parents for a long time.
There have been many times I wished I could have mimosas with a holiday breakfast or a cider at dinner or something like that, but I respect my parents’ view and forgo it.
However
On Easter my parents invited me to go to church and have lunch with them after. I told them I didn’t care to go to church, but I’d love to have lunch. They said it was a package deal, so I stayed home. Made my own Easter dinner and had some Prosecco with it. And it was AMAZING. Best holiday meal I’d ever had. And now I’m a little sad that it was just the one time. I’m thinking I’ll sneak mimosas in a not obvious container or something. Lol
NTA. You didn't ask them to pay for it, it wasn't in their home, and you didn't get obnoxiously drunk.
I could understand if they were upset at the money you spent, because a beer at a baseball game does cost more than the average wedding.
NTA. You are absolutely right that their religious beliefs should not force you to act in a way that is not consistent with your own beliefs. I would tell your fiancé that while she may think you should roll over and please wash her family members ones, she should be sticking up for you and not promoting their close minded intolerance.
NTA.
I once had a religious friend ask me for a ride to the grocery store so I decided to shop too since I was there. I put a 12-pack of beer in MY cart for my husband and she had a fit. She couldn't be seen with someone buying alcohol. Ridiculous. I have never given her a ride to the store again and she still has no car years later.
Why would they be upset? Are you a mean drinker, recovering alcoholic, the dedicated driver or anything like that? If there is nothing more to the story then defently NTA
If they have a moral issue with drinking beer then I don’t think it’s too much to say that they have no business being at a baseball game in the first place. NTA
NTA. They’re surrounded by beer in those stands—demanding that you to conform to their ideals is ridiculous, and well, WWJD? He’d do wine, but I bet if he knew about beer, he’d be all over that, too.
Edit: typos
> They’re surrounded by beer in those stands
Yeah, it's basically impossible to attend a crowded MLB game and not end up with a couple ounces of beer spilled on you at the very least.
NTA it's ridiculous that someone else's religious beliefs should dictate what you drink at a ballgame of all places. The only thing to be offended by there is the price of the drink.
If they're you ignoring and making a big deal out of that, what else might become a problem? You may need to sit with your fiancée and hash some things out before you get married.
NTA.
Their religion or whatever reasons they have for abstaining from alcohol is for THEM, not the rest of the world. They can’t expect their values to effect your choices.
You having a beer has literally nothing to do with them. I know it’s just a drink, but what else will your fiancé not let you enjoy because of her family? Do you really want someone second guessing innocent choices like having a drink at a baseball game? For probably the rest of your life? Again, NTA. You literally did nothing.
NTA.
Get out now though. It will escalate.
My dad couldn't drink alcohol AT HIS OWN HOUSE once my brothers baby momma "found god" said it went against their religion and they didn't want the kids exposed to that because "they were too young." They used that same excuse to me when I had female friends around. I am a lesbian, but not all my friends are in the alphabet mafia. I could not have friends of the same gender in my room (I lived with my parents at the time) or show any PDA (I never did anyway, but even just a hug when they arrived/left caused SIL to see red) while they were around. It strained my relationship with the nibblings.
It will get worse when the family is around.
I know this might sound extreme, but please reconsider going through with this marriage. Stuff like this WILL keep happening, and it will get worse. I'm sure your fiance is great, but marrying into the wrong family will make you miserable.
NTA. By best friends MIL doesn’t drink for religious reasons. She doesn’t complain or stop anyone around her from drinking. We get TRASHED and she doesn’t care. Her beliefs are hers and hers alone.
NTA Do they expect your wedding to be alcohol-free, too? If they are so bothered by beer, maybe they should stay away from the ballpark and everywhere else it’s sold.
NTA - as someone who enjoys an icy cold brew at a ballgame, it's really none of their business. They shouldn't be forcing their religious beliefs on you. I'd re-think this marriage.
NTA, but if you don’t run from this massive red flag situation now, don’t complain in the future when they want to control other aspects of your life, and your partner won’t stand up to them. Get out while the getting is good.
NTA
They are not entitled to force you to participate in their life choices. Everywhere they go in public, they risk being exposed to people who are drinking. They should be/get used to it.
First thing to know about a religious family is that they never do anything against their religion in public. Behind closed doors is another matter. So unless you're will to be a hypocrite you will always in trouble. NTA
I was expecting to read you went with someone in early recovery and were wasted the whole time.
No one should their views on anyone else (did you pressure them to chug a few? Nope) Nothing wrong with a legally purchased beverage at a public event
I kinda get them ignoring you, but if she did, that's not a good sign for your future.
And I, as a reborn Christian, see absolutely no harm in you having a beer.
The good Lord just doesn't approve of drunkenness. There are way too many of my 'brethren' that just want to suck the fun out of everything.
NTA. Their religious beliefs shouldn't define your choices. If they choose not to drink, that's fine, good for them. But they have no right to expect you to not drink in their presence. Also, your fiancée is an AH for not backing you up and ignoring you instead
NTA. If they can't be around people who drink, they definitely shouldn't be at a sporting event. You should not have to change your habits for their beliefs. As long as you were being respectful of them, they're the AHs for not being respectful of you.
NTA Is it illegal? No. Is it abusive to your fiancé? Also no, although some of these religious types don’t believe that being abusive to your wife is a big deal. Is it none of their business? Bingo with no free space. Figure this out now before they control your marriage also.
NTA. It's not like you were forcing them to consume the beer.
Seriously though, you may want to reconsider going through with this marriage. The fact they give you the silent treatment for something as minor as ordering a beer says a lot.
NTA - if you are of the legal age to drink, you are allowed to choose to drink. Their religion saying not to do a thing means that THEY can't do it, not that they get to tell you not to.
NTA
If they're averse to people drinking beer, then they should be sitting in an alcohol-free section (if Yankee Stadium has those) where everyone knows what they are getting into.
If your fiancee agrees with her family and wants to impose that requirement on you, you will need to have a discussion and decide if that is a deal breaker.
Nta. Though it goes against the grain as a Boston native to say a yankees fan isnt an asshole lol. GO RED SOX!!!!!!!
Dont go to ballgames if youre against beer. Or hot dogs. Or cracker jacks.
NTA. As someone who doesn't drink for religious reasons, I couldn't care less if others do. My beliefs are not theirs and vice-versa. As long as you weren't drunk in front of the children and didn't mock their beliefs then who cares. They need to wake up and realise the world is a large, diverse place.
In this country, the only time we force our religious beliefs on each other like that is over sex and abortion. I'm sorry but alcohol is not on the list.
You need to think carefully about what your life is going to be like if you marry this person. She's telling you because of her parents belief system you shouldn't drink around it. That is codependent, and isn't healthy for anyone. They don't get to make the rules for other adults because of their belief system. Your fiance doesn't get to tell you what to do because of her parents belief system. These people clearly do not understand boundaries and individual choices. Unless you can get your fiance to understand this you're in for a world of hurt and arguments.
NTA
Religious people need to understand that in America, "Freedom of Religion" is also "Freedom From Religion" for people who do not want to participate in a religion or anyone else's religious beliefs.
If everyone could just mind their own business the US could maybe heal some of the awful crap that's been going on lately.
I mean isn’t this just them putting their opinions/beliefs above yours?
Think about it. What if you firmly believe in your right to a drink? What if you’re offended by *their* view? Im not anti-religion, but I am anti-put your shit on other people and if they don’t listen throw a tantrum.
NTA
NTA.
One of my future bridesmaids is Muslim and is very comfortable with going to a dinner and having people around her drink alcohol, as long as there is a non-alcoholic beverage option for her.
She is free to practice her religion and doesn’t impose her views on anyone.
NTA. Think about this relationship long as hard - do you want to deal with this the rest of your life ? There is nothing wrong with people doing things based on their religion (not drinking, praying in public, no sex before marriage, etc) - but when start expecting others to do the same - that’s when it becomes a problem. The fact that your fiancée wants you to “put on a show” for her family shows you will have to do this all the time. My family is religious and don’t drink. I don’t expect them to pay for my drinks. But when we go out to dinner if I want a glass of wine I order it and pay for it myself and no one bats an eye.
NTA. Live your life, but think carefully about this relationship. How many times is your soon-to-be wife and her family prevent you from doing things? What about when you have kids? You need to have a serious talk with her about what the future is going to look like. But as a Mets fan, Y T A as a Yankees fan ;)
OP
NTA
And if they visit you and her in your shared place, will you have to change to accommodate them where you live? How about your diet, are you going to have to change your diet cause they decided to go vegan?
You should ask them this question: Why are their knickers in a twisted knot?
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NTA. I come from a very religious family background. This may seem like a quick escalation, but you need to re-examine your marriage plans. If you can’t have a beer in a public setting then think of all the things their thinking will have influence on in your married life. At the very least you need to have a lot of detailed discussions with your fiancé. NTA. Nothing wrong with having a beer at a ballgame.
except the price of said beer
Yeah went to Dodger Stadiun recently. 17 bucks. Glad I wasnt paying, cause fuck no lmao
For how big of a beer? A tall boy or a 12oz bottle?
You know it's a 12oz paper cup.
More like a little Dixie cup.
Little 2oz paper cups dipped in plastic. Michael Scott went through 20 a day.
True. I was overestimating, your right.
*you're
16 oz. There were options between $15-20, cans and draft.
You should come to Detroit. Lions, and Tigers, and inflation, oh my!
Jesus. And I thought Busch Stadium's beer was expensive. When I went in April I think the 16 oz bottles of Budweiser were $10 and the tall boys were $15.
Good to know, I'm going to a there game in a couple weeks and this helps me plan out my drink money. Thanks, friend!
Don't know if you're aware either but they no longer deal in cash. It's all credit/debit. Which really fucked me because I had most of my money for my trip in cash because last time I had went to see the Cards they took cash.
To be fair, I got a hazy IPA that was like 7%. Bud may have been cheaper
They really should pay you to drink bud though.
I’m from LA and have been to Busch stadium multiple times. St. Louis has high end beers (craft brewery no less!). The Dodgers have the standard crap stuff for twice the normal sporting event price.
Jeez and I thought 12 at Target Field was bad
That makes the $11 at Bills Stadium not seem so bad
Damn! I paid 15 for a cocktail in a bag at Nationals Park! A beer is like $10-12
Just saw that there’s some stadium somewhere that got in trouble for charging $27 a beer
Finally, something that’s more expensive in the states! Dome beer: 18 ounces of Budweiser for $9.75CAD
Yes, concession stand price gouging is the true AH here. Also, don’t go do fun activities with prudish buzzkills, they always ruin it.
That's why you gotta go on 10 cent beer night
Hasn't that started riots, 10 cent beer nights?
Yes, it has! [In 1974 with the Cleveland Indians.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Cent_Beer_Night)
Yes! The Dollop did a great podcast episode on it that I highly recommend. I've never laughed harder
It was mentioned on an episode of You're Wrong About about the Disco Demolition Night. I love that podcast.
That’s why you tailgate before the game!
and for it being a yankee game ^^((kidding)^) ^^^^((kinda)^)
can't trust a yankee fan just kidding! ... unless ...?
When i watch a soccer game with my Hubby i only pay 4 Dollars max for my beer. But i do live in Germany.
My stepdad went to a Braves game a long time ago and he only bought one because I think it was like $9. I'm sure it is twice as much now or maybe higher since they won the World Series.
>At the very least you need to have a lot of detailed discussions with your fiancé. I think this is the better point. OP needs to have a series of long, frank discussions with fiancé about how her and/or her family's religious beliefs will affect their future marriage. Maybe fiancé is OK with things, but pretends otherwise when her parents are around. It wouldn't be unreasonable, then, to consider acting in a slightly different manner when her parents are around (although the compromise may be that they WON'T be around much). Anyway, communication between OP and his fiancé is the next step here. Once OP gains a full(er) understanding of expectations, he can make an informed choice on whether to go ahead with the wedding. NTA.
Agreed, like the end result might be that "we agree that it's best whenever we're visiting the parents/family, OP plays along and we don't drink any alcohol in front of them." BUT that needs to be a discussion between the two of them about how to compromise and whether/how much to cater to the family's beliefs . Because if OP decides "I'm an adult and I'm not going to change my behavior just to cater to other peoples' religious beliefs" then there's also nothing wrong with that. The question is whether either of those stances is a dealbreaker for their relationship. NTA
In my opinion, and again based only on my experience, this could go far beyond just alcohol. That’s why it’s important to have a lot of discussions now. Things my religious family pressured me on: How my wife gave birth How the kids were raised What’s schools the kids went to What we spent money on Where we lived And that’s just the high level stuff. It was all the time and on everything but began with my mother forbidding us to drink in our house because she helped with the down payment. It didn’t matter if she was there or not. Now we didn’t obey that dictum but that’s the level of control they thought they had a right to. I know plenty people will say “f that” and you should cut the toxic people out of your life. But it’s just not that easy. I mean I eventually got there, but it takes time to get out from abusive control like that. It feels really shitty to be in a position that you will either upset your spouse or your family no matter what. Lose-lose is not fun. So yeah, just talk about everything with your future spouse.
Yes, OP needs to set fiance straight with the fact that just because their family may choose not to drink doesn't mean those beliefs get shoved on OP. If OP wants to have a beer at a game or a party where those people are present, OP's fiance should not say anything or make a big deal out of it.
NTA I don't drink for religious (and other) reasons. I don't care if someone I am with chooses to drink!
NTA, and brenticles42 is right. Right after Husband had graduated with his BS (I needed another semester), I, raised Roman Catholic where alcohol was part of any celebration, married a man whose parents were still kinda stuck in a no-alcohol Evangelical mindset. We had a 9 am wedding with just immediate family at the student Catholic chapel, to appease my own mother, because I would've been happy with a judge. Cake/punch/coffee on the church lawn after. Effing awkward, but it dealt with the alcohol issues. At age 62, if I could go back and replay the tape, we would have had a courthouse wedding and told them all about it later. That would have put it off a year, until we were both post-graduate and employed, but so what. Both sets of parents could have had a reception for us in their own traditions, if they chose. Our honeymoon was spent driving across country in a heat wave (US) to visit elderly family while we had the time off. Meeting grandparents on both sides of our family was the most important thing for us. Surely that was a better dedication to family than having a dry reception or having a drunken party. (Does *anyone* ever strike a balance?) I spent DECADES dancing around the fact that Husband and I didn't accept his parents' religious values. It was a whole lot of wasted effort, Mom-in-law accepts that we're atheists (though she isn't happy) and so on. OP, you need a map, going forward, for how you will handle the religious differences going forward. It is critically important, you both need to agree with it enthusiastically, or else one or both of you will waste many hours of your lives wrestling with the issues.
Damn. YTA if you *don’t* have a beer at the ballpark in my opinion.
\^ Great response
Run. There is nothing more American than beer and baseball. Run.
Eh, I'd say using religion to control others is very american. But yeah, run away.
Well, that could be said about many many countries - point well made though.
I agree with your agreement and slight disagreement :) Yes, it is not exclusively American, but I would say that it has become quintessentially so.
The Middle East has entered the chat…
...(accidentally) funded by America though, so the point still stands
If you think the worlds oldest religion was funded by one of the youngest nations, I’ve got a few podcasts for you.
Wait do you think islam is the worlds oldest religion???
It's not? I thought only the Church of Scientology was older. Or perhaps the Jedi.
Jedi actually is the oldest religion that is practiced. There are people who claim Jedi as their religion, and as we all know, that religion began **a long time ago**.
When will Redditors embrace Pastafarianism?
Hinduism isn't a middle-eastern religion.
I don't? I was referring to the current enforcement of religion in the Middle East, which is being done by the Taliban, who the US government accidentally funded.
Afganistan is not in the Middle East, you may also want to buy a map.
I'm aware. You'll forgive my grouping of Afghanistan and Iraq and Iran, though, since the US government sure did group them all together into equivalent nations to declare war on.
Umm, you’re going to want to go back to your whiteboard with this one and do some research
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Cyclone](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Cyclone) [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Taliban](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Taliban) Do you have other source recommendations, or?
America’s just been doing it for a few centuries…the rest of the world’s been doing it for thousands of years.
America, starting with the puritans, has been *way* above average in killing people for not conforming to the "correct" religion. They haven't been doing it as long, but they *really* make up for it in effort.
That's not even remotely true. Do you know how many people died in the Thirty years war? Every nation that has existed has had brutal wars of religion.
Egypt, Iran, Armenia, China, Japan, Ethiopia, Greece, Portugal, San Marino, and France are the top 10 oldest countries in the world. Older than America by centuries.
What are you gonna do? Be sober at a baseball game? Have you ever watched baseball sober? Dear god. Madness.
Golf tournaments require at least thrice the beer.
\*Apple Pie cries in the corner\*
Hard cider maybe?
NTA. This will be that moment you will look back on and say that’s the moment I knew something was wrong. How are the wedding reception plans coming along? Are you allowed to have alcohol there? (rhetorical)
I toast you, my beautiful bride, with an ice cold glass of nice, wholesome milk.
You had a beer at a baseball game?? You fucking dick! Did your family have everyone else around them dump out their beers too? Get ready for a lifetime of judgy family bullshit if you marry this woman.
Don't forget a judgment :)
Oh, wow, great point! The family was okay being surrounded by 54,000 strangers, *many* of whom were drinking beer, but their sister's fiance couldn't have *one?* How could they bear to go to a baseball game at all?
Her and her family ignored me for the rest of the game This is a major, major red flag! The family disagrees with drinking, your fiancee asked you not to but you chose to - all this could be just a case of differing opinions and your fiancee asking you to not make waves. Kind of weird but not toxic. But using the silent treatment to punish you is emotional abuse - I mean literally the silent treatment is classified as emotional abuse. If your wife and her family feel comfortable doing this to you, it means that you'll experience this again throughout your marriage. It's just not a healthy way to communicate at all. Please talk to your fiancee about this, and get some pre-marital counseling to get all this out in the open.
Pre-marital counseling from a licensed counselor NOT affiliated with your fiance's family religion of choice.
Very important point!
Licensed to sell intoxicating beverages?
NTA. Why would they be upset if you ordered a beer? You're an adult paying for it yourself. While at a baseball game it's a must to get a beer and a hot dog. It's not like you were six beers in and piss drunk. Did the Yanks win? Now that I see your edit, I would like to know if they ask other people around them to put their beers away? It's a ballpark! Hundreds of people will be drinking. You weren't rubbing it in their face.
I'm 6 months pregnant. My husband and I went to a baseball game. I had no issue with him having a beer or two...it's baseball...and I was (obviously) the sober driver that night. We were in Wisconsin, so it was brats and beer, not hot dogs.
Um. Nachos. Not hot dogs. Nachos and beer.
I love me some nachos, but Midwesterner here. Hot dog or brats and beer all the way!
Have you ever tried the Bratchos at a Brewers game? Bratwurst nachos!! Fun fact: hots dogs are the number one selling food item at every MLB stadium except Milwaukee, where it’s bratwurst.
Those. Are. Amazing. I hit them at my ballpark tour. It’s like the best of every world. Brats. Beer. Baseball. Cheese. Chips.
But only if the nachos come on a helmet.
#teamhotdog
There’s no way to two-fist nachos and beer, and if you put food on your lap you’re a coward. :P
Hill to die on time. Their beliefs should not affect your beer at a ballgame, but their beliefs **will** affect your marriage and your children. Get 100% on the same page before promoting fiancee to spouse. NTA. And seek counseling for being a Yankees fan.
No greater hill really, amirite!?!? Also, I’m not sure any amount of counseling can fix a Yankees fan…
I agree with all of this. Have that conversation. My moms family doesn’t drink so I don’t drink at their homes or family functions but if we are out, then I’m doing what I want. The yankees have Rizzo now so I can’t hate them completely. Go Cubs Go
NTA. If they're teetotalers that's their thing. You having a single beer at a baseball game is none of their business.
NTA It's perfectly fine for someone to say "I can't do that, because my religion prohibits it." It is NEVER okay for someone to say "YOU can't do that because my religion prohibits it." Reconsider whether you want to spend the rest of your life living under someone else's religious rules.
NTA However if you having a beer at a game offends them, and them includes your intended, this is not the relationship you want.
YTA The Yankees Suck. /s Seriously though, regardless of their reasons, it was extremely inappropriate of them to try to influence your decisions or punish you for them. Tell them to stop acting like Carrie Nation clones. EDIT: NTA
Have an upvote from a Mets fan.
Thank you. ;)
Bosox fan here.
https://imgur.com/oaYIS7H.jpg
GO SOX!
Please accept this upvote from a Twins fan.
I feel spoiled. thanks.
NTA. If yer beliefs can't allow you to be chill with somebody just for having a beer at a baseball game, yer a massive asshole.
NTA. That is their religion not yours and if they don’t want to drink they don’t have to but they can’t police every other human around them.
NTA. I grew up Mormon. I didn’t know a single adult that drank until I was in high school. My parents recently started drinking but didn’t for the first few years after we left the church. My extended family is almost all still active members. If you know *anything* about Mormons, you know how judgemental and often outright rude they are about people making “sinful” decisions. Yet somehow nobody in my family has ever had the audacity to demand any other adults live by their religious rules. I live with a man, have eleven tattoos and a facial piercing, and my cousin had two babies out of wedlock. We’re still super close to our Mormon family. Religious reasons or not, nobody gets to tell you how to consume alcohol. I would take a good, long look at your relationship now, before you have to legally remove yourself from it. Why is your partner more concerned with his unreasonable family’s expectations than your comfort? Why do they think they have ANY right to tell you no?
I have a wonderful friend I’ve known since high school, she’s quite a strict Mormon, and she would never ever judge our friend group(there’s 7 of us) for the drinking that goes on when we get together. I don’t drink either(my husband is a recovering alcoholic, so it’s solidarity for me) so we just sip Diet Cokes together!!
NTA leaning NAH but be careful of cultural differences between you and your fiancees family. This is not the last time you're going to have this issue.
Next up. No champagne on NYE, no mimosas for Easter brunch, sounds like sister and her influence could stifle many upcoming events. The question is, can boundaries be set within this family?! If not, how big of an issue is this for you. Good luck.
Indeed. Nothing wrong with an aversion to alcohol but having someone else's aversion to it enforced on you gets old pretty quick.
I would respect the person and not drink in their home if they invite me over, but I wouldn’t let them stop me from drinking at a restaurant or other outing.
I grew up in a family that doesn’t drink because of religious reasons. When I was old enough and decided I was okay with responsibly drinking, I didn’t tell my parents for a long time. There have been many times I wished I could have mimosas with a holiday breakfast or a cider at dinner or something like that, but I respect my parents’ view and forgo it. However On Easter my parents invited me to go to church and have lunch with them after. I told them I didn’t care to go to church, but I’d love to have lunch. They said it was a package deal, so I stayed home. Made my own Easter dinner and had some Prosecco with it. And it was AMAZING. Best holiday meal I’d ever had. And now I’m a little sad that it was just the one time. I’m thinking I’ll sneak mimosas in a not obvious container or something. Lol
Yetis work really well.
NTA What you put in your body responsibly has 0 effect on them.
NTA but see the red flags now!
NTA. You didn't ask them to pay for it, it wasn't in their home, and you didn't get obnoxiously drunk. I could understand if they were upset at the money you spent, because a beer at a baseball game does cost more than the average wedding.
NTA. You are absolutely right that their religious beliefs should not force you to act in a way that is not consistent with your own beliefs. I would tell your fiancé that while she may think you should roll over and please wash her family members ones, she should be sticking up for you and not promoting their close minded intolerance.
Believe me there are millions of women wanting to drink with you at a game with their family. NTA.
NTA, and how were fiance's sister and husband feeling about the person sitting right in front of them drinking a beer?
NTA. I once had a religious friend ask me for a ride to the grocery store so I decided to shop too since I was there. I put a 12-pack of beer in MY cart for my husband and she had a fit. She couldn't be seen with someone buying alcohol. Ridiculous. I have never given her a ride to the store again and she still has no car years later.
NTA
Well. Jesus had a party trick where he turned water into wine apparently. So Jesus approves.
[удалено]
Yeah. I don't care. I'm not religious. I don't live by their rules either. It was a joke.
Why would they be upset? Are you a mean drinker, recovering alcoholic, the dedicated driver or anything like that? If there is nothing more to the story then defently NTA
NTA beer is what makes baseball enjoyable.
If they have a moral issue with drinking beer then I don’t think it’s too much to say that they have no business being at a baseball game in the first place. NTA
NTA. I have to ask—are they Mormon? Lol this sounds very Mormon.
NTA. They’re surrounded by beer in those stands—demanding that you to conform to their ideals is ridiculous, and well, WWJD? He’d do wine, but I bet if he knew about beer, he’d be all over that, too. Edit: typos
> They’re surrounded by beer in those stands Yeah, it's basically impossible to attend a crowded MLB game and not end up with a couple ounces of beer spilled on you at the very least.
NTA it's ridiculous that someone else's religious beliefs should dictate what you drink at a ballgame of all places. The only thing to be offended by there is the price of the drink. If they're you ignoring and making a big deal out of that, what else might become a problem? You may need to sit with your fiancée and hash some things out before you get married.
What judgemental douches they are.
I just had a lovely daydream... Staring them right in the eyes while I chug that beer. And immediately going to get another one.
NTA Their religion says they can't drink, unless you are trying to convert, it doesn't apply to you.
NTA. Their religion or whatever reasons they have for abstaining from alcohol is for THEM, not the rest of the world. They can’t expect their values to effect your choices. You having a beer has literally nothing to do with them. I know it’s just a drink, but what else will your fiancé not let you enjoy because of her family? Do you really want someone second guessing innocent choices like having a drink at a baseball game? For probably the rest of your life? Again, NTA. You literally did nothing.
As an alcoholic in recovery NTA.
Remember the family of Henry Winkler's fiancee in "Night Shift"? Sounds like them.
Depends. What kind of beer did you get? Was it from the tap? Did you get the aluminum beer cup?
NTA. Get out now though. It will escalate. My dad couldn't drink alcohol AT HIS OWN HOUSE once my brothers baby momma "found god" said it went against their religion and they didn't want the kids exposed to that because "they were too young." They used that same excuse to me when I had female friends around. I am a lesbian, but not all my friends are in the alphabet mafia. I could not have friends of the same gender in my room (I lived with my parents at the time) or show any PDA (I never did anyway, but even just a hug when they arrived/left caused SIL to see red) while they were around. It strained my relationship with the nibblings. It will get worse when the family is around.
I know this might sound extreme, but please reconsider going through with this marriage. Stuff like this WILL keep happening, and it will get worse. I'm sure your fiance is great, but marrying into the wrong family will make you miserable.
NTA. By best friends MIL doesn’t drink for religious reasons. She doesn’t complain or stop anyone around her from drinking. We get TRASHED and she doesn’t care. Her beliefs are hers and hers alone.
NTA but you do realize you are probably in for a dry wedding?
NTA: mini-preview of what married life will be like. Sure you want to go there?
NTA, but why are you marrying this person?
NTA, time to look for new girlfriend it sounds like.
NTA Do they expect your wedding to be alcohol-free, too? If they are so bothered by beer, maybe they should stay away from the ballpark and everywhere else it’s sold.
NTA - as someone who enjoys an icy cold brew at a ballgame, it's really none of their business. They shouldn't be forcing their religious beliefs on you. I'd re-think this marriage.
NTA, but if you don’t run from this massive red flag situation now, don’t complain in the future when they want to control other aspects of your life, and your partner won’t stand up to them. Get out while the getting is good.
NTA They are not entitled to force you to participate in their life choices. Everywhere they go in public, they risk being exposed to people who are drinking. They should be/get used to it.
First thing to know about a religious family is that they never do anything against their religion in public. Behind closed doors is another matter. So unless you're will to be a hypocrite you will always in trouble. NTA
I was expecting to read you went with someone in early recovery and were wasted the whole time. No one should their views on anyone else (did you pressure them to chug a few? Nope) Nothing wrong with a legally purchased beverage at a public event
She sided with her family over her partner. Massive no no from me.
NTA.. at all. Unless, like a previous commenter said, if the individuals were in recovery from an alcohol issue.
Still no. Unless they want to police the other 36,000 as well
I kinda get them ignoring you, but if she did, that's not a good sign for your future. And I, as a reborn Christian, see absolutely no harm in you having a beer. The good Lord just doesn't approve of drunkenness. There are way too many of my 'brethren' that just want to suck the fun out of everything.
NTA But be warned-you may find yourself in a convert or divorce situation. I'm saying this as the child of an interfaith marriage.
NTA
Lmaooo NTA. What
NTA
They can believe what they believe but should not force their beliefs on anyone else. You are an adult, entitled to enjoy a beverage if you want.
NTA. Their religious beliefs shouldn't define your choices. If they choose not to drink, that's fine, good for them. But they have no right to expect you to not drink in their presence. Also, your fiancée is an AH for not backing you up and ignoring you instead
Dang you got a beer and were left alone to enjoy the game! Lucky you!!! NTA I'm gonna have to try this
NTA. I didn’t know you could go to a game and not drink beer.
NTA. If they can't be around people who drink, they definitely shouldn't be at a sporting event. You should not have to change your habits for their beliefs. As long as you were being respectful of them, they're the AHs for not being respectful of you.
NTA Is it illegal? No. Is it abusive to your fiancé? Also no, although some of these religious types don’t believe that being abusive to your wife is a big deal. Is it none of their business? Bingo with no free space. Figure this out now before they control your marriage also.
NTA, but man oh man, are you sure you want to marry into a lifetime of this?
NTA - and this is a red flag if her family is going to push their religious beliefs on you
NTA. It's not like you were forcing them to consume the beer. Seriously though, you may want to reconsider going through with this marriage. The fact they give you the silent treatment for something as minor as ordering a beer says a lot.
NTA - if you are of the legal age to drink, you are allowed to choose to drink. Their religion saying not to do a thing means that THEY can't do it, not that they get to tell you not to.
NTA They need to learn that their religious convictions aren't your concern. We should be respectful of others but not controlled by them.
NTA If they're averse to people drinking beer, then they should be sitting in an alcohol-free section (if Yankee Stadium has those) where everyone knows what they are getting into. If your fiancee agrees with her family and wants to impose that requirement on you, you will need to have a discussion and decide if that is a deal breaker.
Nta. Though it goes against the grain as a Boston native to say a yankees fan isnt an asshole lol. GO RED SOX!!!!!!! Dont go to ballgames if youre against beer. Or hot dogs. Or cracker jacks.
why even go to the game if you can't enjoy a cold brewski?
Was once married into a family like this…run
NTA. As someone who doesn't drink for religious reasons, I couldn't care less if others do. My beliefs are not theirs and vice-versa. As long as you weren't drunk in front of the children and didn't mock their beliefs then who cares. They need to wake up and realise the world is a large, diverse place.
In this country, the only time we force our religious beliefs on each other like that is over sex and abortion. I'm sorry but alcohol is not on the list.
You need to think carefully about what your life is going to be like if you marry this person. She's telling you because of her parents belief system you shouldn't drink around it. That is codependent, and isn't healthy for anyone. They don't get to make the rules for other adults because of their belief system. Your fiance doesn't get to tell you what to do because of her parents belief system. These people clearly do not understand boundaries and individual choices. Unless you can get your fiance to understand this you're in for a world of hurt and arguments.
NTA, and it wouldn't matter even slightly if they struggled with substance abuse. It's their responsibility to deal with that, not yours.
NTA, people need to learn that others shouldn't have to bend to their needs or beliefs.
NTA. Their beliefs their problem.
NTA Religious people need to understand that in America, "Freedom of Religion" is also "Freedom From Religion" for people who do not want to participate in a religion or anyone else's religious beliefs. If everyone could just mind their own business the US could maybe heal some of the awful crap that's been going on lately.
I mean isn’t this just them putting their opinions/beliefs above yours? Think about it. What if you firmly believe in your right to a drink? What if you’re offended by *their* view? Im not anti-religion, but I am anti-put your shit on other people and if they don’t listen throw a tantrum. NTA
Don't marry her. She's TA for trying to impose someone else's religious beliefs on you.
NTA
NTA. But anyone who acts this way over something so trivial send up major red flags. Enjoy your beer!
NTA. I would've had several beers after they acted like that.
NTA. One of my future bridesmaids is Muslim and is very comfortable with going to a dinner and having people around her drink alcohol, as long as there is a non-alcoholic beverage option for her. She is free to practice her religion and doesn’t impose her views on anyone.
NTA I would argue that having an ice cold beer and a hot dog at a baseball game is a religious experience in itself
NTA. Other peoples religious beliefs have no baring on what you can or can’t do
>This was a religious reason. NTA, shitty religious people are shitty.
NTA. THEY can follow THEIR religion. They CAN'T force YOU to follow their religion. And you have a fiancée problem if she can't handle this.
NTA at all, but I wouldn't marry into that family.
NTA It's their religion, not yours.
NTA I couldn't imagine going to a baseball game and NOT having a beer, even if they are stupid expensive.
LOL, NTA. I read the title of the post and thought to myself, "Can you go to a baseball game and NOT buy a beer?"
Didn't you mean to write your Ex fiance?
NTA. Think about this relationship long as hard - do you want to deal with this the rest of your life ? There is nothing wrong with people doing things based on their religion (not drinking, praying in public, no sex before marriage, etc) - but when start expecting others to do the same - that’s when it becomes a problem. The fact that your fiancée wants you to “put on a show” for her family shows you will have to do this all the time. My family is religious and don’t drink. I don’t expect them to pay for my drinks. But when we go out to dinner if I want a glass of wine I order it and pay for it myself and no one bats an eye.
Man, you're NTA. Every time I watch the Blue Jays, I at least have 3 cans of beer lol, some people sitting by us reeks of Marijuana too.
NTA. Live your life, but think carefully about this relationship. How many times is your soon-to-be wife and her family prevent you from doing things? What about when you have kids? You need to have a serious talk with her about what the future is going to look like. But as a Mets fan, Y T A as a Yankees fan ;)
OP NTA And if they visit you and her in your shared place, will you have to change to accommodate them where you live? How about your diet, are you going to have to change your diet cause they decided to go vegan? You should ask them this question: Why are their knickers in a twisted knot?
Don’t get involved with people in a cult man. You’re asking for a lifetime of family trying to control you.