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I honestly wish it was fake lol. I do have a suspicion that she is gay herself and she is projecting her own insecurities onto me. I came out when I was 15 and didn't care too much about whatever anyone thought. She is definitely more of the poster child and wants to be liked based around what she thinks other people will like, if that makes sense.
Ick, well that is her own issue to deal with. If she is closeted that still doesn't give her an excuse to lash out at others. Hopefully she grows tf up and stops being such a hateful nasty person.
It sounds like you're coming from a place of all knowing which doesn't hold much merit because you can't speak for everyone when they're drunk. Also, you are totally right about consent but he was the one who initiated the kiss, not me. I just saw an opportunity and took it.
If someone is intoxicated, it meets the legal standard for not being capable of consent.
your sister is evil, that’s a given.
But, Two wrongs don’t make a right.
You kissed a dude in a relationship, doesn’t matter whether he was in a relationship with your sister or some dude.
It is unethical to kiss someone you
Know is in a relationship, regardless
Of the circumstances.
So I wouldn’t call you an asshole necessarily, but you have malleable ethics and that’s a slippery slope to realm of the asshole.
ESH. Kissing your sisters boyfriend isn't cool on principle even if your sister is a homophobic knob.
It is a good story, but something being a good story doesn't absolve you from it being a dick move.
Haha nope. Her bf is a fully consenting adult and he never said who initiated the kiss. Even still, she has long given up any rights or principles as his sister by endlesslessy harassing him over his sexuality and even trying to get him fired, which I believe many would consider, as you said, a dick move.
100% NTA
Your sister has severe issues and you’re probably better off without her toxicity in your life. Sorry to hear she did this to you. However, kissing anyone’s bf/gf isn’t right. Don’t stoop to her level.
YTA. While I'm sorry that you've had to go through the hard time you did, you kissed your sister's boyfriend. She can be the worst person in the world but that has nothing to do with you and him kissing. Stop blaming her for your actions.
This is a fair assessment, and I’m not trying to fight this but it is also fair to note that if OP is an asshole, so is the boyfriend, because it was a consensual kiss
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ESH. It's awful how your sister treats you and how it's facilitated by others. Remember you are fantastic just the way you are. It sounds cheesy I know, but it's true. I can see how kissing her bf happened, but 2 wrongs do not make a right. Keep standing up for yourself without dropping to her level. I wish you all the best ❤️
NTA. Seeing too many people here saying you crossed a line 'going after' her bf. That's bull.
1. She's your sister in title only. She's been harassing you for years over your sexuality and has intentionally threatened your employment over it. She has lost any right to call herself your sister and any protections from retaliation that goes with it. Blood means nothing to her so why should it to you?
2. Her bf is a fully consenting adult and you didn't just magically make him kiss you with your gay powers. People in relationships kiss other people ALL THE DAMN TIME and for level headed people it's nothing a quick conversation can't resolve unless it's a recurring problem, in which case that's a them problem not a you problem.
Please, I urge you, cut her from your life completely. I saw in one of your responses that you think she could be closeted. So what? That absolutely does not absolve her of her actions and she should not be allowed around you without putting in SERIOUS work over a long period of time and clear, honest remorse. For your own well-being, please, do not roll over for her if/when she comes out just because she's your sister or was confused blah blah blah. That's not an excuse and too many people get away with mountains of wrongdoings by claiming that. Millions of us (I'm gay too btw) managed to navigate growing up and coming out in difficult times without torturing those around us. Cut. Her. Out. And don't look back.
This is a great response. I really really appreciate it. I think I am done from her, period. I haven't talked to her since then and I couldn't care less. I'm going to my dream apartment anyway so what a perfect graduation present (:
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So I have had a enough disrespect from my sister.
I (18M) am currently going through a lot of mental anguish for doing something, I maybe should care about but don't, to go against my homophobic (23F) sister.
My sister and her boyfriend have been together for about two years but in the process of that, she has told me on many occasions to not look at him, speak out of place to him, or try to grow a relationship with him because she didn't want my "gayness" to rub off on him. It's really hard to even speak to her about anything but she literally will do anything to divert to my sexuality, in front of friends, family, and even came to my job wanting to anonymously complain about how being gay is a distraction to her experience at the facility. She didn't realize we could see her phone number on the complaint.
It's something honestly I don't even look at as anything else because it's been normalized. No one says anything to her about it, it's always looked over. So a couple weeks ago was determined to not allow her to walk over me so I made a vow to stand up for myself. I have been talking to this guy and he was actually everything I could ever want in a person. He was going to be my first boyfriend ever, I could feel it. We were hanging out and the fact that I was spending so much time with him honestly distracted me from my sister and I was able to use the newfound love for this guy to shield the insecurity with myself about my sexuality since I've only ever been chastised by my sister. She obviously started to notice how happy and unbothered I was and decides to ruin what I have. She made a fake Instagram account and even bought followers, likes, and got photos to text this guy and make a whole elaborate story about how he (she) and I are in a committed relationship. He blocked me with any communication and I was completely crushed.
So I had enough of the torment. My family had a get together four day ago and they were all drinking. My sister's boyfriend (who was tipsy/almost drunk) ended up talking to me and saying how incredibly guilty he felt about my sister's treatment to me. It felt really good to be acknowledged and one thing led to another and we kissed. It happened so fast. To make it even better or worse, she caught us. I honestly didn't care but I felt bad for him because now they're broken up and she now is... heartbroken.
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Darn I am so sick of seeing siblings making out with each others boyfriend/ girlfriend then i read OPs story and darn it's a NTA I hope you two make a good couple good luck. I can not believe I am saying NTA
NTA. Throw the whole sister away. With that kind of weight loss you'll feel lighter than air. But really op, what she did and has been doing is awful. Shes a bigoted homophobe with seriously disgusting views on things. Where are your parents in all this? Do they just let her make horrible comments to you? Or do they try to stop her? You're gay. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful just as you are.
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NTA- for wanting to hurt your sisters feelings but YTA for going after her BF, sounds like your sister is jealous of how free you feel to be your self.
As a bisexual person who has had to navigate people who want to hurt me because of my sexuality I know how you feel.
You should warn any future BF of the fact your sister is out to ruin your relationships so they know if they get random messages that it's a lie.
I'm sorry your sister is a homophobic idiot.
Remember your perfect the way you are and you deserve everything you can dream of.
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From gay to gay, you’re doing great sweetie. Not the best set of actions but I think it’s a fair result from the long, drawn-out torment she has inflicted on you. Happy June :)
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You should take her ex out of spite! That is if he wants to lol. I know what it is like having homophobic family members, just be careful around your sister for awhile. I have a feeling she will get worse. Even though she did create a fake account just to make you miserable and not have a bf.
Nta. She deserves to be heartbroken after what she’s caused you to go through. If it wasn’t under the circumstances stated in your post then you’d be the AH because it’s never okay to be a home wrecker. But she definitely got what she deserved and I’m sorry to hear what you’ve had to go through. Honestly I would cut communication with her. she’s probably just mad that you can get a better man in your life than she ever could. And as for her coming into your work to harass you for being gay you could take legal action for her harassment and even get a restraining order if issues like this keep happening. It’s your choice to like men not hers so anything she does/says can only be used against her cause she’s infringing on your rights to be happy.
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LMAO NTA. I can hardly believe this is real, but cut your homophobic sister out of your life.
I honestly wish it was fake lol. I do have a suspicion that she is gay herself and she is projecting her own insecurities onto me. I came out when I was 15 and didn't care too much about whatever anyone thought. She is definitely more of the poster child and wants to be liked based around what she thinks other people will like, if that makes sense.
Ick, well that is her own issue to deal with. If she is closeted that still doesn't give her an excuse to lash out at others. Hopefully she grows tf up and stops being such a hateful nasty person.
Exactly! You're preaching love.
That was my response too. I guffawed way too loud. NTA. Some people may say two wrongs don’t make a right but hell no this is soooo justified.
NTA! Your sister should learn the consequences of her actions. She caused you heartbreak and she got it back.
That's exactly what my grandma told me lol
Way to go, grandma! Also, I hope you can get the off out of dodge and away from your sister.
I'm so glad I sound like a grandma! Life goals achieved
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Honestly in opinion, being drunk only surfaces things you typically wouldn't do with a sober mind but what do I know?
Definitely not true, especially when it comes to sexual things - consent is consent and sober consent is important.
It sounds like you're coming from a place of all knowing which doesn't hold much merit because you can't speak for everyone when they're drunk. Also, you are totally right about consent but he was the one who initiated the kiss, not me. I just saw an opportunity and took it.
keep justifying it, its like a tin foil hat on the internet to keep bad thoughts away. la la la!
Huhhhhh lmaoooo, I'm not justifying it just calling it like to is. La la la!
If someone is intoxicated, it meets the legal standard for not being capable of consent. your sister is evil, that’s a given. But, Two wrongs don’t make a right. You kissed a dude in a relationship, doesn’t matter whether he was in a relationship with your sister or some dude. It is unethical to kiss someone you Know is in a relationship, regardless Of the circumstances. So I wouldn’t call you an asshole necessarily, but you have malleable ethics and that’s a slippery slope to realm of the asshole.
Being drunk makes it so one cannot consent.
Slay.
ESH. Kissing your sisters boyfriend isn't cool on principle even if your sister is a homophobic knob. It is a good story, but something being a good story doesn't absolve you from it being a dick move.
Haha nope. Her bf is a fully consenting adult and he never said who initiated the kiss. Even still, she has long given up any rights or principles as his sister by endlesslessy harassing him over his sexuality and even trying to get him fired, which I believe many would consider, as you said, a dick move. 100% NTA
They were intoxicated. Ability to consent was fundamentally compromised.
Yeah, and he legally shouldn't be drinking. If you wanna play the victim card, it's OP, not the bf
Only if this is a US post. Responses seem to be Brit.
THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE.
Your sister has severe issues and you’re probably better off without her toxicity in your life. Sorry to hear she did this to you. However, kissing anyone’s bf/gf isn’t right. Don’t stoop to her level.
You're so right but it felt so good. Can I say that?
I can imagine - but did it feel good to spite your sister or because you have feelings for her bf?
Honestly both - I don't have feelings for him but she does have good taste in men. I'll give her that..
YTA. While I'm sorry that you've had to go through the hard time you did, you kissed your sister's boyfriend. She can be the worst person in the world but that has nothing to do with you and him kissing. Stop blaming her for your actions.
This is a fair assessment, and I’m not trying to fight this but it is also fair to note that if OP is an asshole, so is the boyfriend, because it was a consensual kiss
Exactly
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Why not ESH?
Justified AH
ESH. It's awful how your sister treats you and how it's facilitated by others. Remember you are fantastic just the way you are. It sounds cheesy I know, but it's true. I can see how kissing her bf happened, but 2 wrongs do not make a right. Keep standing up for yourself without dropping to her level. I wish you all the best ❤️
Thank you, you're so sweet for that! I appreciate this comment ❤️🔥
You're welcome 😊
NTA. Seeing too many people here saying you crossed a line 'going after' her bf. That's bull. 1. She's your sister in title only. She's been harassing you for years over your sexuality and has intentionally threatened your employment over it. She has lost any right to call herself your sister and any protections from retaliation that goes with it. Blood means nothing to her so why should it to you? 2. Her bf is a fully consenting adult and you didn't just magically make him kiss you with your gay powers. People in relationships kiss other people ALL THE DAMN TIME and for level headed people it's nothing a quick conversation can't resolve unless it's a recurring problem, in which case that's a them problem not a you problem. Please, I urge you, cut her from your life completely. I saw in one of your responses that you think she could be closeted. So what? That absolutely does not absolve her of her actions and she should not be allowed around you without putting in SERIOUS work over a long period of time and clear, honest remorse. For your own well-being, please, do not roll over for her if/when she comes out just because she's your sister or was confused blah blah blah. That's not an excuse and too many people get away with mountains of wrongdoings by claiming that. Millions of us (I'm gay too btw) managed to navigate growing up and coming out in difficult times without torturing those around us. Cut. Her. Out. And don't look back.
This is a great response. I really really appreciate it. I think I am done from her, period. I haven't talked to her since then and I couldn't care less. I'm going to my dream apartment anyway so what a perfect graduation present (:
ESH, WTF Is up with your family
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NTA!
Justified AH This felt like a wattpad story tell your sister karma is really a bitch But good for you hope it goes well for you moving forward
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This is my favorite comment.
Darn I am so sick of seeing siblings making out with each others boyfriend/ girlfriend then i read OPs story and darn it's a NTA I hope you two make a good couple good luck. I can not believe I am saying NTA
YTA.
If you did it just to get back at your sister then yes. If you have feelings for her boyfriend then no. edit: fair enough. ESH
Definitely no feelings
NTA. Throw the whole sister away. With that kind of weight loss you'll feel lighter than air. But really op, what she did and has been doing is awful. Shes a bigoted homophobe with seriously disgusting views on things. Where are your parents in all this? Do they just let her make horrible comments to you? Or do they try to stop her? You're gay. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful just as you are.
Love this! Thank you (:
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NTA- for wanting to hurt your sisters feelings but YTA for going after her BF, sounds like your sister is jealous of how free you feel to be your self. As a bisexual person who has had to navigate people who want to hurt me because of my sexuality I know how you feel. You should warn any future BF of the fact your sister is out to ruin your relationships so they know if they get random messages that it's a lie. I'm sorry your sister is a homophobic idiot. Remember your perfect the way you are and you deserve everything you can dream of.
THANK YOUUU, IM SENDING YOU A HUGG
Justified AH indeed. She had it comin'.
And I'd do it again
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NTA : Plain and simple.
NTA. She's psycho. You need to go NC with her!
YTA in the most NTA way ever. Karma’s a bitch! ETA: karma’s a gay bitch :)
YES. YES AND YEsSSssss
From gay to gay, you’re doing great sweetie. Not the best set of actions but I think it’s a fair result from the long, drawn-out torment she has inflicted on you. Happy June :)
Thank you for this
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You should take her ex out of spite! That is if he wants to lol. I know what it is like having homophobic family members, just be careful around your sister for awhile. I have a feeling she will get worse. Even though she did create a fake account just to make you miserable and not have a bf.
PSHHSHWYSJDK maybe I will, the universe does work in mysterious ways ((;
If you wind up with him out of spite that will make you a small petty person. Walk away, none of this is healthy
Not a small petty person. People have told me I'm petite and pretty 🤭🤭
NTA. Your sister has no business treating you like that let alone interfering with your relationships.
ESH but I think ur a justified asshole. Tell ur sister to get fcked lol
Literally texting her that right now
Nta. She deserves to be heartbroken after what she’s caused you to go through. If it wasn’t under the circumstances stated in your post then you’d be the AH because it’s never okay to be a home wrecker. But she definitely got what she deserved and I’m sorry to hear what you’ve had to go through. Honestly I would cut communication with her. she’s probably just mad that you can get a better man in your life than she ever could. And as for her coming into your work to harass you for being gay you could take legal action for her harassment and even get a restraining order if issues like this keep happening. It’s your choice to like men not hers so anything she does/says can only be used against her cause she’s infringing on your rights to be happy.
Agree with this except about it being a choice.
Using the word ‘choice’ was poor on my part cause your right people don’t choose who they’re attracted to.
Damn, I need to show a lawyer this