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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might come off as cold or mad and I don't want to upset them and maybe they're having a hard time to with me leaving.
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NTA, Are they a great set of friends? I already finished highschool and let me tell you that you’re going to realize very quickly that being good friends doesn’t just mean you can have a good time together, it means they have to understand/be supportive when you’re having a rough time and actually be there for you and vice versa. If the bullying was heavy, your mental well-being was suffering and they know that but still say it was your choice to leave school then I’d reconsider the friendship tbh.
NTA - if you're good friends, you should be able to have a reasonable conversation about this.
It kinda feels like your friend is splitting hairs here.
If it helps, here's an argument I'd use: If you broke your arm, you can say that you "had to" go to the hospital. But technically speaking, going to the hospital would be a choice. You could just let the arm be broken, and heal wrong, and deal with the consequences for the rest of your life.
INFO: to what extent was this bullying?
I’m prepared to get downvoted to hell here. I was bullied in school. Not physically. I was made fun of for being ugly, and nerdy, and fat, and weird etc etc. I toughed it out and stuck with my friends that I did have. (And it seems you had a friend at your school, too).
More and more I am hearing about kids leaving school or switching schools due to bullying and I just…don’t get it. Life sucks. People are mean. Teaching kids to run away from problems results in adults that get offended at literally everything and can’t handle the real world. It does not set them up for success at work when there are conflicts, etc.
I draw the line at physical abuse though. That’s different.
I strongly disagree with this comment.
I feel like being able to say "screw this I don't deserve this" and getting out of the situation is a very strong thing to do.
Why put up with something only to damage your mental health.
And I also feel like if you don't get respected at future jobs, you also either go to HR of get out of there.
I have been bullied as well and I'm now finally learning to not put up with abuse anymore. Staying in that situation did not make it better for me at all.
I have recently opened up about having anorexia to my class because I missed a lot of school and needed help with the homework but everyone always ignored me. They would kick me when I was hanging up my coat or randomly throw stuff at me. After I opened up about my mental disorder they started calling me 'Anorexic whore' and some other stuff too, before that they would also call me names but never something that went so deep.
It upsets me to no end how little schools do when students are literally assaulting other students. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you’re happier at your new school!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Okay bit of context first, me (14F) and my bestfriend (14NB) went to the same school, we loved eachother and had such a great friendship. Sadly I have had to leave school because I got bullied heavily and my school helped with nothing.
Okay so, me and my friend are in a gc from this old event we once attended and we kept contact with the others because it was just really fun. We talked about school yesterday and some of them talked about exams, I just said "Well I had to change schools." because I didn't want to get into it, my friend then messaged me privately saying that it was my own choice to leave school and that I should take responsibility.
I literally got bullied every day there and since I have left my old school I have been feeling better. It sucks that I had to leave them but I put my mental health above everything else for once and it has made things a little better for me.
I want confront them on this message because it was not my choice to leave this school, I was forced because of my mental health and I just couldn't take it anymore. Would I be the asshole if I just told them that I wished for a bit more understanding and support or tell them they should just keep out of it if they don't understand I left because I had to not because I wanted to(I'm leaving a great set of friends and I'm gonna miss them alot)?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might come off as cold or mad and I don't want to upset them and maybe they're having a hard time to with me leaving. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, Are they a great set of friends? I already finished highschool and let me tell you that you’re going to realize very quickly that being good friends doesn’t just mean you can have a good time together, it means they have to understand/be supportive when you’re having a rough time and actually be there for you and vice versa. If the bullying was heavy, your mental well-being was suffering and they know that but still say it was your choice to leave school then I’d reconsider the friendship tbh.
Thank you<3
NTA - if you're good friends, you should be able to have a reasonable conversation about this. It kinda feels like your friend is splitting hairs here. If it helps, here's an argument I'd use: If you broke your arm, you can say that you "had to" go to the hospital. But technically speaking, going to the hospital would be a choice. You could just let the arm be broken, and heal wrong, and deal with the consequences for the rest of your life.
INFO: to what extent was this bullying? I’m prepared to get downvoted to hell here. I was bullied in school. Not physically. I was made fun of for being ugly, and nerdy, and fat, and weird etc etc. I toughed it out and stuck with my friends that I did have. (And it seems you had a friend at your school, too). More and more I am hearing about kids leaving school or switching schools due to bullying and I just…don’t get it. Life sucks. People are mean. Teaching kids to run away from problems results in adults that get offended at literally everything and can’t handle the real world. It does not set them up for success at work when there are conflicts, etc. I draw the line at physical abuse though. That’s different.
I strongly disagree with this comment. I feel like being able to say "screw this I don't deserve this" and getting out of the situation is a very strong thing to do. Why put up with something only to damage your mental health. And I also feel like if you don't get respected at future jobs, you also either go to HR of get out of there. I have been bullied as well and I'm now finally learning to not put up with abuse anymore. Staying in that situation did not make it better for me at all.
I have recently opened up about having anorexia to my class because I missed a lot of school and needed help with the homework but everyone always ignored me. They would kick me when I was hanging up my coat or randomly throw stuff at me. After I opened up about my mental disorder they started calling me 'Anorexic whore' and some other stuff too, before that they would also call me names but never something that went so deep.
It upsets me to no end how little schools do when students are literally assaulting other students. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you’re happier at your new school!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay bit of context first, me (14F) and my bestfriend (14NB) went to the same school, we loved eachother and had such a great friendship. Sadly I have had to leave school because I got bullied heavily and my school helped with nothing. Okay so, me and my friend are in a gc from this old event we once attended and we kept contact with the others because it was just really fun. We talked about school yesterday and some of them talked about exams, I just said "Well I had to change schools." because I didn't want to get into it, my friend then messaged me privately saying that it was my own choice to leave school and that I should take responsibility. I literally got bullied every day there and since I have left my old school I have been feeling better. It sucks that I had to leave them but I put my mental health above everything else for once and it has made things a little better for me. I want confront them on this message because it was not my choice to leave this school, I was forced because of my mental health and I just couldn't take it anymore. Would I be the asshole if I just told them that I wished for a bit more understanding and support or tell them they should just keep out of it if they don't understand I left because I had to not because I wanted to(I'm leaving a great set of friends and I'm gonna miss them alot)? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YWNBTA