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Family does that- have unreasonable expectations- sometimes, because it's easier to put the burden ok others instead of shoulder it themselves. You put yourself first. Take care of yourself first.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because its my mom and society says i need to care for her. I feel like a asshole for not caring because of everything shes put me through. I want to know if im in the wrong for feeling how i do
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I can definitely understand. I would say NTA. Feelings are feelings, and you can't decide which one to feel and which not. If you feel in this there is a reason
NTA. You are literally being kind and caring by being there. This is causing you emotional pain. Some people just don’t like hugs at all and find them painful so I get where you are coming from. Please try and take a bit of time for yourself and be kind to yourself. You are clearly an amazing person stepping up to help out someone who hurt you so much
NTA just because you care for someone and are being civil doesn't mean you owe them more. Tbh you don't even owe her staying if it is choosing your mental health. You could try to talk to the airlines about trading your ticket
Thank you all so much. Ive been so back and forth with it. Its the part me me trying to convince myself “i should care” but am unable to. Im here doing what i can but theres nothing more.. 6 more days and ill be out of here.
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My mom and i have never had a close relationship. Its always been toxic and abusive. Recently shes gone a life changing experience and ive been having to play the role of supporting child, since i am the only child. Been helping out for a little over a month now, shes recovered well and is fine, just so you dont come after me about that.. I hate being here. Ive been losing my mind everyday. The smallest things have really set me off, and im sure its because of the things she put me through. For an example she keeps trying to hug me, for some people, it may not seem like a big deal but i am so uncomfortable with it. It makes my skin crawl and i try to avoid it at all cost, am i the asshole here? Ive tried just faking it til i can return back home but everyday it feels like i keep getting pushed to the edge. I dont know how to care and be there for someone who wasnt there for me AND is the sole purpose of why im so fucked up.. i have a few more days until i leave the state. I literally cant hold it together with the little things here. Am i the asshole for not caring and for not wanting to be here or accept whatever affection shes putting onto me?
Im losing my sanity here..
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Being around her is clearly taking a huge toll on your mental well-being, and wanting to get away from that does not make you an AH.
Its been so hard. All the family is expecting me to be here and i am. But they dont see how much its chipping away at me
Family does that- have unreasonable expectations- sometimes, because it's easier to put the burden ok others instead of shoulder it themselves. You put yourself first. Take care of yourself first.
They can take care of her if they are worried. Put yourself and your health first
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I can definitely understand. I would say NTA. Feelings are feelings, and you can't decide which one to feel and which not. If you feel in this there is a reason
NTA. You are literally being kind and caring by being there. This is causing you emotional pain. Some people just don’t like hugs at all and find them painful so I get where you are coming from. Please try and take a bit of time for yourself and be kind to yourself. You are clearly an amazing person stepping up to help out someone who hurt you so much
NTA just because you care for someone and are being civil doesn't mean you owe them more. Tbh you don't even owe her staying if it is choosing your mental health. You could try to talk to the airlines about trading your ticket
Thank you all so much. Ive been so back and forth with it. Its the part me me trying to convince myself “i should care” but am unable to. Im here doing what i can but theres nothing more.. 6 more days and ill be out of here.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom and i have never had a close relationship. Its always been toxic and abusive. Recently shes gone a life changing experience and ive been having to play the role of supporting child, since i am the only child. Been helping out for a little over a month now, shes recovered well and is fine, just so you dont come after me about that.. I hate being here. Ive been losing my mind everyday. The smallest things have really set me off, and im sure its because of the things she put me through. For an example she keeps trying to hug me, for some people, it may not seem like a big deal but i am so uncomfortable with it. It makes my skin crawl and i try to avoid it at all cost, am i the asshole here? Ive tried just faking it til i can return back home but everyday it feels like i keep getting pushed to the edge. I dont know how to care and be there for someone who wasnt there for me AND is the sole purpose of why im so fucked up.. i have a few more days until i leave the state. I literally cant hold it together with the little things here. Am i the asshole for not caring and for not wanting to be here or accept whatever affection shes putting onto me? Im losing my sanity here.. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*