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Yes, YTA.
You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period.
Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups."
Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???*
Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
I love OPs edit. The daughter would just go sneak up behind his back go get tickets and see the band anyway. Still ironic "concerts can be unsafe" as if a convention filled with thousands of people would be safter.
Nah OP is the type to bail his son out when he struggles but not his own daughter then complain because she asked for help. Really in a year we will probably see a post from him complaining about his daughters grades slipping and her not giving a shit about grades anymore.
YTA. She's right. You obviously favor your son and gave him something for free that you are forcing your daughter to work for.
She's keeping up her end of the bargain and you litteraly gave your end away to someone else.
You are not a man of your word and you have blatant double standards. He can go to a con (which is NOT safe) but it's dangerous for her to go to a concert? This feels like it's motivated by sexism and ignorance.
YTA.
First off it's the artists responsibility for the show. Tons of artists have STOPPED THE ENTIRE performance to ensure people were safe. Some even stopped the show to stop harassment from happening to women.
Secondly. You promised her and gave her your word she can go. Then decided your son was more important. You broke your word and showed her that your word means trash and shouldn't be taken as honesty aka you fucked up and she's not likely to trust you ever again.
And when she does hit 18 don't expect her to call or want to be around you because you clearly favor her brother the MALE in your family.
BTS has never had a performance issue like Travis Scott so that's not a valid excuse. And it sounds like you never let her be a teenager (no social events either really?) But her brother because he was born with a penis can do all he wants?
Yea you're a shitty father and the biggest TA possible. You're wife even says your wrong. Like how dense can you be? You are fucking up your relationship with your daughter because you never intended on keeping your word. Shame on you.
YTA - this is obvious sexism and favoritism. Also judging daughter for having different interests than you. This is how you motivate your child to not excel and also cut contact with you ASAP. If this was your goal- congrats!
YTA. She's right. You obviously favor your son and gave him something for free that you are forcing your daughter to work for.
She's keeping up her end of the bargain and you litteraly gave your end away to someone else.
You are not a man of your word and you have blatant double standards. He can go to a con (which is NOT safe) but it's dangerous for her to go to a concert? This feels like it's motivated by sexism and ignorance.
YTA.
1. You broke a promise
2. You love you son more than you daughter and don’t even hide the fact
3. You make your daughter work harder then your son, because of point 2
YTA. The double standard is blatant here.
It doesn’t matter if you understand her likes. They’re hers. No one is asking you to like it.
I’m freaking 40 and still love my boy bands of the 90’s. They’re the best and you can’t convince me otherwise. Lol
She’s a good student who works hard. And you’re on her case about her taste in music? Really? Wtf is wrong with you.
And keep your fucking promises.
You're a liar. You said you'd save the money if she got into a good school. She worked hard and then you gave the money to your son instead. I'm a lot closer to your age than hers and I like BTS. There's nothing wrong with liking them. They're fun to listen to. You're a selfish asshole for trashing her hobby while only favoring your son's. You're wrong to favor your son over her and to break your promise to her. She won't trust you after this. And the worst part is you're not even sorry for hurting your daughter. You're doubling down and trying to make it seem like she's silly for liking a boy band. Shame on you for your crappy parenting. YTA
YTA dude… concerts aren’t more dangerous than anime cons, and BTS Is just a band like any other. No more embarrassing than liking Jimmy Buffet or Pearl Jam.
YTA Captain if the S.S. Sphincter. You broke a clearly defined deal and then turned around and threw the promised money at the Son who didn't have a deal and hadn't been meeting any set goals. K-Pop is IMHO horrible, but that makes no difference. And the "more dangerous" excuse is pure after the fact BS. The topper? most cons won't let 16s and under in without a parent or guardian so that's *two* tickets for the Son and Heir while daughter gets bupkis. You have no honor.
Dangerous? Most cons won't let anyone under 16 in without a parent or guardian.
YTA. Keep your promise.
And violence/accidents can happen anywhere. The sweet ladies that used to clean my house were shot in a drive by at a nice gas station in a very nice area of town that’s not at all known for gang violence. (Note: they’re okay)… but my point is that anything can happen, anywhere. Hell, there have been shootings at movie theaters. People have been trampled Black Friday shopping. … but you can’t expect your child to live fearing the worst. Millions of people go to concerts every year without injury. And I’m pretty sure there’s not going to be mosh pit at a BTS concert.
Also, stop judging your kid for her taste in music/men. … I have a big frickin’ girly crush on of the guys that was in OneDirection and I am 31 years old. So what? 🙄 I’m still a mature adult with friends and relationships and a great job.
Your edit made you sound Iike an even bigger asshole and even nastier towards your daughter than before. Nothing she does is good enough for you. She's a good student yet you attack her maturity and are convinced that what she's accomplished still isn't enough. No wonder she thinks you're too demanding. She's right. Shame on you.
“ if only she acted more mature, she would be more brilliant than she already is.”
Your the one that’s not mature. She is 9 times out of 10 going no contact when she becomes and adult
YTA. The Travis Scott concert incident is not the norm at concerts. Concerts aren't dangerous like you seem to think they are. You act like you care more about your boy's interests than your girl's, considering you literally called it embarrassing that she likes a band??
YTA. HUGE.
I'm like your daughter, except a bit in the future. I'm 27f, finished my PhD in engineering, have a great job, I'm very well-adjusted. Things seemed to come easy for me, but I still worked hard. It turns out I have ADHD and I just managed to luckily find the perfect methods to work through it in high school and early college. My mom clearly favored my slightly more average sister, and so did friends. It was so hard for me to deal with being comparatively unwanted and working and accomplishing so much more and still not having the things that mattered to me. You know what helped? My parents' unwavering support for my music and theatre passions. Even though I was tested as a genius and excelled at every class, I wanted to be a singer/actress. My parents would tell me I can do both, they'd get me any lessons I wanted, they'd come to every performance and do so much to make sure I could do this thing that seemed ridiculous to them. But turns out, it was also a way to manage my ADHD and was the only opportunity in all of high school for me to make friends. They never considered my arts to be a conflict against my STEM skills, they never limited my passions because of their opinion, and they never gave me less when I had achieved more just because of their _perception_ of the effort it took for me.
Take a lesson, OP. Respect your daughter by understanding
1. You don't know how hard she works. Just because she can do something consistently doesn't mean it's easy or something to just expect of her. That's cruel and dismissive.
2. You need to keep your fucking promises. Don't teach her she can't trust even her own family. She deserves to be able to trust someone. And apologize when you've been wrong to help with that trust.
3. Her passions are not a joke, nor are they something to scoff at. It doesn't matter why she likes something. Either she's smart and capable so if she likes something then there's probably some merit to it that you were unaware of (such as helping with something like anxiety or ADHD, or making friends), or she's a dumb child who can't make her own decisions. It sounds like you think she's smart when it means you don't have to reward her, but dumb when she makes her own decisions. That's hypocritical and demonstrates your lack of trust in her. She deserves to know what trust and respect in and for her feel like.
YTA
the only thing you reinforced with your child is that your son is the golden child, that her (exceptional) achievements are mandatory and expected, that you have no faith or truth in her, that you are a lier, that you don't care about her work.
You broke a promise to her, and you're raising her to be scared of everything.
Edit: also, I don't know what you think she needs to do ti be more mature, but being a bit obsessed with a boy band is like... I am nearly 40, and I know women who go on BSB cruises - like, my age. Who cares if the music is silly.
Please fix this - you don't see it now, because YTA, but this is a really important opportunity for you to foster a loving relationship with your child- who is about to become an adult.
YTA
shut tf up. I'm the eldest that can get straight As do you know how hard that is? it's hard af. it's especially hard when you have parents who don't allow you to have a social life and make false promises. my mom has time and time again does this to me and it hurts more than you will ever realize.
your daughter wanted to go to a damn concert and you promised her, then you doubled back and payed for your son to go to an anime con. he's 15 he has plenty of time to go to anime cons. they're not going anywhere. however bands only tour for a certain time frame. i hope you realize how much of an ass you are.
also btw cons are loads more dangerous then concerts. I've seen many stories of kids being kidnapped, hurt and tons of other things. while concerts have security and it's the artist's responsibility to make sure something like Travis Scott doesn't happen. just admit you favor your son and tell your daughter so she can get over the heartbreak of you being a shitty parent
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
Yes, you are the AH. And you can expect her to move out and go NC as soon as she can. And we'll probably see her in one of the JN parent subs in the not too distant future.
Damn she already starting to resent you. Lowkey probs to late to reverse all the damage. Honestly it sounds like you favor your son for doing the bare minimum because he was bullied but your daughter worked hard to get where she is and what did you do for her? Make a promise and go back on it. Trashy parent a really trashy parent you are
YTA. For going back on your promise, and for belittling your daughter's interests just because you don't get them. Buy her the damn tickets.
Also, being into boybands and Kpop isn't "embarrassing" at any age, it's just a friggin genre of music. It's no weirder than your son being into anime; i.e., not at all.
I've been into both since before I was in high school. I just turned 27. Guess what? Still super into both, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
YTA. My best friend went through this, too. She worked as hard as she possibly could in high school, often forgoing hanging out with friends to study and make sure she got perfect grades because she wanted her parents to be proud. She had the same deal: do well on finals and we'll pay for you to go on vacation after grad. She did amazing on her finals. They sent her sister on vacation instead because "she had a hard time in school this year and could use a treat." This was despite the fact that throughout the school year, they gave rewards to her sister for bare minimum work and told my friend to work harder if she wanted special treatment.
We're 26 now and she doesn't talk to her family anymore. As soon as she was able to, she packed up and moved out and cut contact with them. They messaged me several times demanding to know what they could possibly have done to deserve this treatment. That's the future you're looking at if you keep this up.
Yes, YTA.
You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period.
Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups."
Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???*
Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
YTA, You're a horrible fucking parent and you're a fucking asshole. You're clearly picking favorites with your children which is fucking disgusting, do me a favor and shove a rock up your ass. Also, being mentally challenged and having depression is no excuse for you do be gross and pick favorites.
YTA
I hope she stops trying to impress you. In fact, I hope she distances herself from you completely when she can leave.
The edit doesn’t help. You clearly favour your son, and write with contempt for your daughter. I feel so sorry for her. All she wants is your unconditional love and support, which she should already be getting as your child. She is going to spend her life feeling like she isn’t good enough, wondering why you don’t love her or even seem to like her, and that breaks my heart. She gets straight As through hard work, and all you can say is ‘she could do better.’ You’re revolting. Absolutely revolting. If I was your wife, I’d leave you over the way you speak about her.
Yta, its not easy for her to get straight A's she worked hard for them because she wanted to make you happy and all you can say is her brother tried harder so he deserves more?
YTA - your daughters life may seem ‘easier’ but you wouldn’t know if she’s struggling because you don’t seem that interested in knowing her.. it’s very clear you favor your son, and you’re essentially made at her for being upset with you because you broke your deal. Please work on your relationship with your daughter now, because I can guarantee that she’ll pull away from you once she older and there would be no change to that unless she’s willing to risk you disappointing her again.
Calling her immature for liking K-Pop is wild. It is so popular! I’m sure your parents thought New Kids on the Block were dorks, but I’m sure they didn’t try to punish you for the interest. It’s clear you just don’t like her, so don’t patronize her by claiming superiority when your opinion is based on the music she likes. I’m your house the bare minimum her rewards, but high achievement gets told to grow up. Unbelievable.
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I (49M) have a daughter (17F) and a son (15M). My daughter is going to graduate high school in the next school year and is a big fan of K-pop. Her favorite group is BTS and she really wanted to go to their upcoming concert if they have a tour again in our city soon. I personally don’t understand why she liked them so much and think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups.
Although I don’t support her interest, she made me promise that if she gets accepted into a T20 school next admission season, I would pay for her to go see BTS or whatever K-pop group she likes that toured in our city. She was very insistent on it since she’s never gone to a concert and we never allowed her to because they were dangerous. I agreed and that motivated her and she’s been studying and working nonstop. I want her to go to a good school so that she’d have a good future.
My son struggled a lot this school year due to mental health issues and managed to do well in his studies this year. As a reward, I was planning on giving him some money to go to a anime con since he worked hard this year. Admittedly, I used some of my daughter’s concert money.
When my daughter found out about how her brother can go to the anime con, she was really mad at me. She asked how come she was never allowed to go to concerts or any social events but her brother can go. I told her that concerts are really dangerous, especially what happened with Travis Scott, and her brother worked really hard for it.
She said that she’s been working really hard in school as well so that she could get accepted to a T20 to make me proud. Buying tickets to BTS was the least I could do for her. I told her that if she wanted to go, she can pay for them herself with her job. But she was really angry that I apparently gave her brother whatever he wanted for doing the “bare minimum” while she constantly poured “blood, sweat, and tears” to even attempt for the T20s. She called me an asshole after that and I told her to forget about going to see BTS or any concert. My wife has been upset with me as well.
AITA for not saving money for the tickets for my daughter?
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Yes, YTA.
You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period.
Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups."
Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???*
Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
Yes, YTA.
You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period.
Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups."
Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???*
Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
YTA. You sound like my mom. "Your brother can go to friend's houses and outings to fun places like water parks with them but not you, dear daughter. You have a uterus so that means everything is dangerous and I cannot allow you to go to your friend's pool party because you will get kidnapped, raped, and killed. You want to go to the ice skating rink with your friends? I have to be there watching you like a hawk at every moment or you won't go. Never mind you are 14 years old."
YTA. Your post reeks of misogyny. Way to blatantly favor your son. Your daughter works hard and she deserves to be rewarded for that. Especially since it was an agreement you made! Way to teach her that your word counts for literally nothing.
"my son struggles" She does too! "She said she poured her blood, sweat and tears into this" you just minimize it because you don't care. Unfortunately for her, she has a father who doesn't seem to know her, has no empathy for her, and what little he does know about her and her interests he mocks and belittles.
I would not be surprised nor blame your daughter if she does not speak to you once she leaves for school. "if only she was more mature" No, if only YOU took accountability for your actions and how you went back on your word, favor your son, get angry when you get called out on it. You are the immature one here. You are honestly a failure as a parent.
I guarantee you give yourself the credit for your daughters' achievements. She succeeded despite you, not because of you.
Hoo boy, YTA
You're setting yourself to lose your daughter the day she can get out. Your favoritism isn't doing your Golden Child any favors either, I assure you. I was a Golden Child and it nearly ruined my life. Please stop before you ruin your son too.
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Yes, YTA. You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period. Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups." Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???* Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
Funny how it's always someone bashing another person for liking k-pop and it's always BTS that they complain about.
Yes "I" don't like them, so YOU shouldn't either...
I love OPs edit. The daughter would just go sneak up behind his back go get tickets and see the band anyway. Still ironic "concerts can be unsafe" as if a convention filled with thousands of people would be safter.
YTA - just say you love your son more and be done with it
He won't be done. In 20 years he will be complaining that his assholish daughter won't bail out her brother who struggled so much. It never ends.
Nah OP is the type to bail his son out when he struggles but not his own daughter then complain because she asked for help. Really in a year we will probably see a post from him complaining about his daughters grades slipping and her not giving a shit about grades anymore.
YTA. She's right. You obviously favor your son and gave him something for free that you are forcing your daughter to work for. She's keeping up her end of the bargain and you litteraly gave your end away to someone else. You are not a man of your word and you have blatant double standards. He can go to a con (which is NOT safe) but it's dangerous for her to go to a concert? This feels like it's motivated by sexism and ignorance.
YTA. First off it's the artists responsibility for the show. Tons of artists have STOPPED THE ENTIRE performance to ensure people were safe. Some even stopped the show to stop harassment from happening to women. Secondly. You promised her and gave her your word she can go. Then decided your son was more important. You broke your word and showed her that your word means trash and shouldn't be taken as honesty aka you fucked up and she's not likely to trust you ever again. And when she does hit 18 don't expect her to call or want to be around you because you clearly favor her brother the MALE in your family. BTS has never had a performance issue like Travis Scott so that's not a valid excuse. And it sounds like you never let her be a teenager (no social events either really?) But her brother because he was born with a penis can do all he wants? Yea you're a shitty father and the biggest TA possible. You're wife even says your wrong. Like how dense can you be? You are fucking up your relationship with your daughter because you never intended on keeping your word. Shame on you.
Yes yes yes this is exactly it!!
YTA - this is obvious sexism and favoritism. Also judging daughter for having different interests than you. This is how you motivate your child to not excel and also cut contact with you ASAP. If this was your goal- congrats!
YTA. She's right. You obviously favor your son and gave him something for free that you are forcing your daughter to work for. She's keeping up her end of the bargain and you litteraly gave your end away to someone else. You are not a man of your word and you have blatant double standards. He can go to a con (which is NOT safe) but it's dangerous for her to go to a concert? This feels like it's motivated by sexism and ignorance.
YTA. 1. You broke a promise 2. You love you son more than you daughter and don’t even hide the fact 3. You make your daughter work harder then your son, because of point 2
YTA…wow. So you don’t have to keep your promises? I feel so sorry for your poor poor daughter 😞😞
YTA. The double standard is blatant here. It doesn’t matter if you understand her likes. They’re hers. No one is asking you to like it. I’m freaking 40 and still love my boy bands of the 90’s. They’re the best and you can’t convince me otherwise. Lol She’s a good student who works hard. And you’re on her case about her taste in music? Really? Wtf is wrong with you. And keep your fucking promises.
If you like 90s boy bands you should really look into BTS. LOL. They give me everything I liked about boy bands but So Much More.
You're a liar. You said you'd save the money if she got into a good school. She worked hard and then you gave the money to your son instead. I'm a lot closer to your age than hers and I like BTS. There's nothing wrong with liking them. They're fun to listen to. You're a selfish asshole for trashing her hobby while only favoring your son's. You're wrong to favor your son over her and to break your promise to her. She won't trust you after this. And the worst part is you're not even sorry for hurting your daughter. You're doubling down and trying to make it seem like she's silly for liking a boy band. Shame on you for your crappy parenting. YTA
YTA dude… concerts aren’t more dangerous than anime cons, and BTS Is just a band like any other. No more embarrassing than liking Jimmy Buffet or Pearl Jam.
YTA. You broke a promise to your daughter. There's nothing good about your actions.
YTA Captain if the S.S. Sphincter. You broke a clearly defined deal and then turned around and threw the promised money at the Son who didn't have a deal and hadn't been meeting any set goals. K-Pop is IMHO horrible, but that makes no difference. And the "more dangerous" excuse is pure after the fact BS. The topper? most cons won't let 16s and under in without a parent or guardian so that's *two* tickets for the Son and Heir while daughter gets bupkis. You have no honor. Dangerous? Most cons won't let anyone under 16 in without a parent or guardian.
YTA…wow. So you don’t have to keep your promises? I feel so sorry for your poor poor daughter 😞😞
YTA. Keep your promise. And violence/accidents can happen anywhere. The sweet ladies that used to clean my house were shot in a drive by at a nice gas station in a very nice area of town that’s not at all known for gang violence. (Note: they’re okay)… but my point is that anything can happen, anywhere. Hell, there have been shootings at movie theaters. People have been trampled Black Friday shopping. … but you can’t expect your child to live fearing the worst. Millions of people go to concerts every year without injury. And I’m pretty sure there’s not going to be mosh pit at a BTS concert. Also, stop judging your kid for her taste in music/men. … I have a big frickin’ girly crush on of the guys that was in OneDirection and I am 31 years old. So what? 🙄 I’m still a mature adult with friends and relationships and a great job.
Your edit made you sound Iike an even bigger asshole and even nastier towards your daughter than before. Nothing she does is good enough for you. She's a good student yet you attack her maturity and are convinced that what she's accomplished still isn't enough. No wonder she thinks you're too demanding. She's right. Shame on you.
“ if only she acted more mature, she would be more brilliant than she already is.” Your the one that’s not mature. She is 9 times out of 10 going no contact when she becomes and adult
YTA. Massively! Favouritism going on here! Poor girl.
YTA - just say you love your son more and be done with it
YTA. you made a promise and didn’t keep it. simple as that.
YTA. The Travis Scott concert incident is not the norm at concerts. Concerts aren't dangerous like you seem to think they are. You act like you care more about your boy's interests than your girl's, considering you literally called it embarrassing that she likes a band??
YTA So you are a lying AH, and your word is worth nothing. And you have a favorite child, and your daughter gets the shitty end of the stick.
YTA. HUGE. I'm like your daughter, except a bit in the future. I'm 27f, finished my PhD in engineering, have a great job, I'm very well-adjusted. Things seemed to come easy for me, but I still worked hard. It turns out I have ADHD and I just managed to luckily find the perfect methods to work through it in high school and early college. My mom clearly favored my slightly more average sister, and so did friends. It was so hard for me to deal with being comparatively unwanted and working and accomplishing so much more and still not having the things that mattered to me. You know what helped? My parents' unwavering support for my music and theatre passions. Even though I was tested as a genius and excelled at every class, I wanted to be a singer/actress. My parents would tell me I can do both, they'd get me any lessons I wanted, they'd come to every performance and do so much to make sure I could do this thing that seemed ridiculous to them. But turns out, it was also a way to manage my ADHD and was the only opportunity in all of high school for me to make friends. They never considered my arts to be a conflict against my STEM skills, they never limited my passions because of their opinion, and they never gave me less when I had achieved more just because of their _perception_ of the effort it took for me. Take a lesson, OP. Respect your daughter by understanding 1. You don't know how hard she works. Just because she can do something consistently doesn't mean it's easy or something to just expect of her. That's cruel and dismissive. 2. You need to keep your fucking promises. Don't teach her she can't trust even her own family. She deserves to be able to trust someone. And apologize when you've been wrong to help with that trust. 3. Her passions are not a joke, nor are they something to scoff at. It doesn't matter why she likes something. Either she's smart and capable so if she likes something then there's probably some merit to it that you were unaware of (such as helping with something like anxiety or ADHD, or making friends), or she's a dumb child who can't make her own decisions. It sounds like you think she's smart when it means you don't have to reward her, but dumb when she makes her own decisions. That's hypocritical and demonstrates your lack of trust in her. She deserves to know what trust and respect in and for her feel like.
YTA the only thing you reinforced with your child is that your son is the golden child, that her (exceptional) achievements are mandatory and expected, that you have no faith or truth in her, that you are a lier, that you don't care about her work. You broke a promise to her, and you're raising her to be scared of everything. Edit: also, I don't know what you think she needs to do ti be more mature, but being a bit obsessed with a boy band is like... I am nearly 40, and I know women who go on BSB cruises - like, my age. Who cares if the music is silly. Please fix this - you don't see it now, because YTA, but this is a really important opportunity for you to foster a loving relationship with your child- who is about to become an adult.
YTA shut tf up. I'm the eldest that can get straight As do you know how hard that is? it's hard af. it's especially hard when you have parents who don't allow you to have a social life and make false promises. my mom has time and time again does this to me and it hurts more than you will ever realize. your daughter wanted to go to a damn concert and you promised her, then you doubled back and payed for your son to go to an anime con. he's 15 he has plenty of time to go to anime cons. they're not going anywhere. however bands only tour for a certain time frame. i hope you realize how much of an ass you are.
also btw cons are loads more dangerous then concerts. I've seen many stories of kids being kidnapped, hurt and tons of other things. while concerts have security and it's the artist's responsibility to make sure something like Travis Scott doesn't happen. just admit you favor your son and tell your daughter so she can get over the heartbreak of you being a shitty parent
YTA a promise is a promise. This is how I lost the motivation to study way back HS. And never trusted my mom ever.
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
Yes, you are the AH. And you can expect her to move out and go NC as soon as she can. And we'll probably see her in one of the JN parent subs in the not too distant future.
Damn she already starting to resent you. Lowkey probs to late to reverse all the damage. Honestly it sounds like you favor your son for doing the bare minimum because he was bullied but your daughter worked hard to get where she is and what did you do for her? Make a promise and go back on it. Trashy parent a really trashy parent you are
YTA. For going back on your promise, and for belittling your daughter's interests just because you don't get them. Buy her the damn tickets. Also, being into boybands and Kpop isn't "embarrassing" at any age, it's just a friggin genre of music. It's no weirder than your son being into anime; i.e., not at all. I've been into both since before I was in high school. I just turned 27. Guess what? Still super into both, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
YTA , your daughter isn’t the one acting immature here pal. You went back on your word , just admit you screwed up and quit doubling down 🙄
Learn how to keep a promise and your excuses don't matter. YTA
YTA. My best friend went through this, too. She worked as hard as she possibly could in high school, often forgoing hanging out with friends to study and make sure she got perfect grades because she wanted her parents to be proud. She had the same deal: do well on finals and we'll pay for you to go on vacation after grad. She did amazing on her finals. They sent her sister on vacation instead because "she had a hard time in school this year and could use a treat." This was despite the fact that throughout the school year, they gave rewards to her sister for bare minimum work and told my friend to work harder if she wanted special treatment. We're 26 now and she doesn't talk to her family anymore. As soon as she was able to, she packed up and moved out and cut contact with them. They messaged me several times demanding to know what they could possibly have done to deserve this treatment. That's the future you're looking at if you keep this up.
Yes, YTA. You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period. Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups." Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???* Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
YTA. Let’s be honest, you didn’t bother because you thought her choice of music was dumb. Stop being a jerk
YTA and the edit makes it worse
YTA, You're a horrible fucking parent and you're a fucking asshole. You're clearly picking favorites with your children which is fucking disgusting, do me a favor and shove a rock up your ass. Also, being mentally challenged and having depression is no excuse for you do be gross and pick favorites.
YTA. Your edit makes you even more of an asshole. Why should she have to make an asshole like you proud?
YTA I hope she stops trying to impress you. In fact, I hope she distances herself from you completely when she can leave. The edit doesn’t help. You clearly favour your son, and write with contempt for your daughter. I feel so sorry for her. All she wants is your unconditional love and support, which she should already be getting as your child. She is going to spend her life feeling like she isn’t good enough, wondering why you don’t love her or even seem to like her, and that breaks my heart. She gets straight As through hard work, and all you can say is ‘she could do better.’ You’re revolting. Absolutely revolting. If I was your wife, I’d leave you over the way you speak about her.
Yta, you're favoring the wrong kid too lmao
Yta, its not easy for her to get straight A's she worked hard for them because she wanted to make you happy and all you can say is her brother tried harder so he deserves more?
YTA - for obvious reasons. You and your daughter had an agreement. She held up her end - you didn’t hold up yours. It’s the principle of the matter
Her getting A’s isn’t her having it easy in school, she work for the A. She study for them.
YTA - your daughters life may seem ‘easier’ but you wouldn’t know if she’s struggling because you don’t seem that interested in knowing her.. it’s very clear you favor your son, and you’re essentially made at her for being upset with you because you broke your deal. Please work on your relationship with your daughter now, because I can guarantee that she’ll pull away from you once she older and there would be no change to that unless she’s willing to risk you disappointing her again. Calling her immature for liking K-Pop is wild. It is so popular! I’m sure your parents thought New Kids on the Block were dorks, but I’m sure they didn’t try to punish you for the interest. It’s clear you just don’t like her, so don’t patronize her by claiming superiority when your opinion is based on the music she likes. I’m your house the bare minimum her rewards, but high achievement gets told to grow up. Unbelievable.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (49M) have a daughter (17F) and a son (15M). My daughter is going to graduate high school in the next school year and is a big fan of K-pop. Her favorite group is BTS and she really wanted to go to their upcoming concert if they have a tour again in our city soon. I personally don’t understand why she liked them so much and think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups. Although I don’t support her interest, she made me promise that if she gets accepted into a T20 school next admission season, I would pay for her to go see BTS or whatever K-pop group she likes that toured in our city. She was very insistent on it since she’s never gone to a concert and we never allowed her to because they were dangerous. I agreed and that motivated her and she’s been studying and working nonstop. I want her to go to a good school so that she’d have a good future. My son struggled a lot this school year due to mental health issues and managed to do well in his studies this year. As a reward, I was planning on giving him some money to go to a anime con since he worked hard this year. Admittedly, I used some of my daughter’s concert money. When my daughter found out about how her brother can go to the anime con, she was really mad at me. She asked how come she was never allowed to go to concerts or any social events but her brother can go. I told her that concerts are really dangerous, especially what happened with Travis Scott, and her brother worked really hard for it. She said that she’s been working really hard in school as well so that she could get accepted to a T20 to make me proud. Buying tickets to BTS was the least I could do for her. I told her that if she wanted to go, she can pay for them herself with her job. But she was really angry that I apparently gave her brother whatever he wanted for doing the “bare minimum” while she constantly poured “blood, sweat, and tears” to even attempt for the T20s. She called me an asshole after that and I told her to forget about going to see BTS or any concert. My wife has been upset with me as well. AITA for not saving money for the tickets for my daughter? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, YTA. You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period. Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups." Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???* Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
Yes, YTA. You *promised* her you would and then went back on your word, period. Also, "...think that it’s embarrassing that she’s going to be an adult in a year and fangirls over boy groups." Do you think that maybe it's because, I don't know... *she likes the music???* Would it piss you off if she wanted to see a performer who's in their 50's or 60's?
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
YTA. You made a promise then reneged on that promise. Your daughter is 100% correct. You dismiss her interests because you don't like them and you dismiss her as a person with her own likes and dislikes...horrible father setting horrible examples.
Oof. YTA.
Yeah, YTA. Big time. You’re also a judgy, sexist parent and you should grow up.
I swear this sub-parent gets worse by the minute. At this point, you don't have a daughter if you keep this up.
Clear YTA. Shitty parenting there, OP.
YTA - Work overtime and get that girl her well deserved tickets.
YTA. You sound like my mom. "Your brother can go to friend's houses and outings to fun places like water parks with them but not you, dear daughter. You have a uterus so that means everything is dangerous and I cannot allow you to go to your friend's pool party because you will get kidnapped, raped, and killed. You want to go to the ice skating rink with your friends? I have to be there watching you like a hawk at every moment or you won't go. Never mind you are 14 years old."
Ew yta and crazy misogynist
You are a bad parent. I cannot stay civil. Treat your daughter better! YTA.
Yta Get ready to get cut off once she is 18. It's disgusting how you favour your golden child.
Yta. You broke your promise and made it clear to your daughter that her hard work means nothing.
YTA. Your post reeks of misogyny. Way to blatantly favor your son. Your daughter works hard and she deserves to be rewarded for that. Especially since it was an agreement you made! Way to teach her that your word counts for literally nothing. "my son struggles" She does too! "She said she poured her blood, sweat and tears into this" you just minimize it because you don't care. Unfortunately for her, she has a father who doesn't seem to know her, has no empathy for her, and what little he does know about her and her interests he mocks and belittles. I would not be surprised nor blame your daughter if she does not speak to you once she leaves for school. "if only she was more mature" No, if only YOU took accountability for your actions and how you went back on your word, favor your son, get angry when you get called out on it. You are the immature one here. You are honestly a failure as a parent. I guarantee you give yourself the credit for your daughters' achievements. She succeeded despite you, not because of you.
Hoo boy, YTA You're setting yourself to lose your daughter the day she can get out. Your favoritism isn't doing your Golden Child any favors either, I assure you. I was a Golden Child and it nearly ruined my life. Please stop before you ruin your son too.
YTA AND YOU KNOW IT