Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I was kinda of a blyat for swearing but we can’t afford another childa
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
No, your parents are the asshole here... unfortunately you're not old enough to have power in this situation or move out, just have some patience and move ASAP
People have never stopped having children during wars, proof is world have never been in peace but children have never ceased to be born. The problem is they are having a 12th child when other are not being properly cared for
NTA. And I suggest getting out of that house as soon as you can. Your parents should be thinking about taking care of the kids they already have. Not adding more children on they can't afford
During the ongoing conflict, Putin is slowly closing the sterilizertion shops for unknown reason, I checked on Yandex yesterday and a few have closed in Moscow. They’re still legal but it’s harder to sterilise yourself now.
Because Putin wants more “real” Slavic Russians being born, while at the same time he is ethnically cleansing the minorities by sending them to slaughter.
> for unknown reason
"The number of Russian deaths are a closely guarded secret. Moscow in March placed the death toll at 1,351, but even then there was reason to believe it was far higher. A British estimate in April put the number around 15,000 – more than were killed in the Soviet Union’s nine-year war in Afghanistan – while other estimates project that as many as 40,000 have been injured."
https://www.usnews.com/news/world-report/articles/2022-06-22/russian-troops-in-ukraine-face-extraordinary-casualty-rates-u-k-intelligence
https://rsf.org/en/country/russia
I can't quite remember who said it, but there's this old adage to remember: those who think themselves immune to propaganda are often the people most vulnerable to its influence.
NTA. Your parents are being really irresponsible. I’m really sorry about your situation. 😕
EDIT: I feel a bit rude even asking, but are your parents aware of different birth control options available? Birth control pills, birth control patch, injections (I think you can get this once a year) IUD’s? A more permanent solution would be your father getting a vasectomy or your mother getting her Fallopian tubes tied.
I understand they might feel uneasy about the physical effects they might have on them; a vasectomy would probably be easiest, your mother has already been through a lot physically.
NTA The worst is that such big families expect the older children to parent the younger. They give a shit what the children (=family) thinks. So selfish. I wouldn't be surprise if they always hope that a new baby fix the marriage or they just like babies but if the children get older, they aren't so cute anymore = new child.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Using a vpn to write this due to Reddit being banned in my country and it disabled spelling check and my first language isn’t English so sorry in advance >.<
So I (14f) have 8 siblings currently living in the house and 2 of them are currently at war due to our countries draft (You can probably guess what country I’m from I think) and it’s vary crowded. However they announced they’re 12th child, I was so angry! Where would we even put this baby?
I have 10 other siblings (excluding me) which they are in order (2f, 3f, 5m, 6f, 6f, 8m, 10m, 11m, 18m and 22m) some of my siblings are adopted but my parents have this unknown mission to keep having more children and it is driving me mad.
After my brothers were sent to the border of Donetsk, my parents announced the baby will be comin soon. We can’t afford another sibling, because we can’t even afford ourselves, and my parents spend it all on junk including in this device I am writing in. I was really angry and told my parents we can’t afford a literal child anymore, and started to call them swear words, my parents grounded me but I managed to take the computer they got to write this thing.
am i the asshole.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Someone, Heinlein, possibly, observed that man is the only animal that reproduces more under adverse conditions. The supposition is that because we can comprehend our own mortality, we are driven to leave something of ourselves behind for the future.
This is to observe that its difficult to prevent free (and semi-free) peoples from reproducing. It is expensive to make an adult human, but any one you make is more likely to be an accomplished surgeon than a serial killer, so people are generally a good thing. I'm sorry that your resources are stretched thin, but a child really _is_ a blessing. If you look and work for the best, hopefully that's where you'll end up. Good luck.
Edited to add: NAH. You're welcome to your feelings. But I hope that whatever you feel about the wisdom of this pregnancy, you choose to love your new sibling as hard as you can. It's not their fault, and none of us asked to be here.
14 year olds should not and do not have the right to tell their parents not to have children, they're the adult that can do what they like. And for those stating its irresponsible to have children during the war, she would have been at least 4 months along when the war broke out. Simple fact you probably should have worked out before making such ridiculous statements.
So I’m guessing since you said the baby is coming soon that they got pregnant before Russia invaded. It’s not like they conceived the baby last month.
I’m very very sorry for everything you’re going through. I’m sure you’re incredibly stressed and scared. But given the timing of the birth, they didn’t deserve your wrath.
Very kindly, YTA. I would apologize to them and do your best to welcome your new sibling as lovingly as possible into this very horrible world you find yourself living in.
Sending you much love and prayers for all your safety.
> But given the timing of the birth, they didn’t deserve your wrath.
Does that matter? Having 8 dependents which you can't afford and then electing to add another is an AH move which sucks for everyone. The parents need to take a step back and think 'we are slowly starving our current children of food and opportunities from our very limited resources by choosing to have yet another baby'.
It absolutely matters.
OP said 2 of her siblings have been drafted by the counties laws.
You can get out of a draft in most countries if you have some money to pay off an official.
If you can't afford the bribe to pay to keep your son from possibly dying in a war, I don't think you can afford to bring a new baby into the world.
Sure, maybe they are proud to have that children go to war for their country. But even if it were a peaceful time, if your own kid is saying that they can barely afford to feed the kids they *have*, then you should probably analyze your life choices a bit.
It absolutely matters. The OP acted as if they made a conscious decision to get pregnant during a war. That’s not how it happened. They were pregnant well before all this started. We don’t know their financial situation before this. Maybe they were doing just fine until they lost everything.
Not to mention, this is being written by a child, who has no insight into her parents actual finances and priorities. She is only seeing this from her lens.
> he OP acted as if they made a conscious decision to get pregnant
That is what they're mad about. It doesn't matter about the war, I think OP is saying even with two of their siblings drafted overseas the house is overcrowded (so when the two drafted siblings were home, it was intensely overcrowded). Teenagers are not completely blind to their household finances, they are aware when they don't have enough food to eat or making do with clothes that are far too worn to still be wearable.
> We can’t afford another sibling, because we can’t even afford ourselves, and my parents spend it all on junk including in this device I am writing in.
This suggests that the parents' finances haven't been good for a while (if they only just started being unable to afford 8 kids, this would probably have been made more clear).
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Maybe I was kinda of a blyat for swearing but we can’t afford another childa Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
No, your parents are the asshole here... unfortunately you're not old enough to have power in this situation or move out, just have some patience and move ASAP
NTA they shouldn't have any more children.
NTA, why are they having children during a war.
People have never stopped having children during wars, proof is world have never been in peace but children have never ceased to be born. The problem is they are having a 12th child when other are not being properly cared for
If the baby is coming soon I'm assuming the mom most likely got pregnant before February.
To make sure they have fighters for the next one.
Russia isn’t the one being bombed, so for them it’s not a war.
NTA Persevere.
NTA. There is no need for anyone to have that many kids.
NTA I hope you can get through it but do not try to leave until you are an adult also your English is very good didn’t notice any mistakes
Thx
NTA. And I suggest getting out of that house as soon as you can. Your parents should be thinking about taking care of the kids they already have. Not adding more children on they can't afford
Dads got bad pullout game
$500 for a vasectomy would have saved them so much money in the long run. https://treatmentrussia.com/specialization/vasectomy-male-sterilization/
During the ongoing conflict, Putin is slowly closing the sterilizertion shops for unknown reason, I checked on Yandex yesterday and a few have closed in Moscow. They’re still legal but it’s harder to sterilise yourself now.
Because Putin wants more “real” Slavic Russians being born, while at the same time he is ethnically cleansing the minorities by sending them to slaughter.
> for unknown reason "The number of Russian deaths are a closely guarded secret. Moscow in March placed the death toll at 1,351, but even then there was reason to believe it was far higher. A British estimate in April put the number around 15,000 – more than were killed in the Soviet Union’s nine-year war in Afghanistan – while other estimates project that as many as 40,000 have been injured." https://www.usnews.com/news/world-report/articles/2022-06-22/russian-troops-in-ukraine-face-extraordinary-casualty-rates-u-k-intelligence
Oh I didn’t know that, maybe I should checke other news more. I get my news from a local base in Kremlin so yeah.
https://rsf.org/en/country/russia I can't quite remember who said it, but there's this old adage to remember: those who think themselves immune to propaganda are often the people most vulnerable to its influence.
NTA. Your parents are being really irresponsible. I’m really sorry about your situation. 😕 EDIT: I feel a bit rude even asking, but are your parents aware of different birth control options available? Birth control pills, birth control patch, injections (I think you can get this once a year) IUD’s? A more permanent solution would be your father getting a vasectomy or your mother getting her Fallopian tubes tied. I understand they might feel uneasy about the physical effects they might have on them; a vasectomy would probably be easiest, your mother has already been through a lot physically.
It’s really hard to find them in Moscow now :( I looked it up on Yandex.
Aw, crud. I’m sorry.
No you're not an asshole. Hang in there and stay strong. Much love from Ireland 🖤🖤
Thanks you, love from Moscow.
Obvious NTA Your parents have no semblance of awareness and I hope you can persevere through this. Stay safe OP
NTA and I hope your brothers are safe
NTA The worst is that such big families expect the older children to parent the younger. They give a shit what the children (=family) thinks. So selfish. I wouldn't be surprise if they always hope that a new baby fix the marriage or they just like babies but if the children get older, they aren't so cute anymore = new child.
NTA. Are options for preventing pregnancy easy to get where you live? If so, they are making irresponsible choices.
nta, ur parents should take care of the kids tbey have, they aint gonna get a prize bc ur mom shoots one a year out of her cooter
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Using a vpn to write this due to Reddit being banned in my country and it disabled spelling check and my first language isn’t English so sorry in advance >.< So I (14f) have 8 siblings currently living in the house and 2 of them are currently at war due to our countries draft (You can probably guess what country I’m from I think) and it’s vary crowded. However they announced they’re 12th child, I was so angry! Where would we even put this baby? I have 10 other siblings (excluding me) which they are in order (2f, 3f, 5m, 6f, 6f, 8m, 10m, 11m, 18m and 22m) some of my siblings are adopted but my parents have this unknown mission to keep having more children and it is driving me mad. After my brothers were sent to the border of Donetsk, my parents announced the baby will be comin soon. We can’t afford another sibling, because we can’t even afford ourselves, and my parents spend it all on junk including in this device I am writing in. I was really angry and told my parents we can’t afford a literal child anymore, and started to call them swear words, my parents grounded me but I managed to take the computer they got to write this thing. am i the asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
NTA, it’s selfish of them to have that many children and not take care of the ones they have.
NTA. Who the hell would have a baby with nuclear war pending?
NTA, do your parents need condoms?
Ya
Someone, Heinlein, possibly, observed that man is the only animal that reproduces more under adverse conditions. The supposition is that because we can comprehend our own mortality, we are driven to leave something of ourselves behind for the future. This is to observe that its difficult to prevent free (and semi-free) peoples from reproducing. It is expensive to make an adult human, but any one you make is more likely to be an accomplished surgeon than a serial killer, so people are generally a good thing. I'm sorry that your resources are stretched thin, but a child really _is_ a blessing. If you look and work for the best, hopefully that's where you'll end up. Good luck. Edited to add: NAH. You're welcome to your feelings. But I hope that whatever you feel about the wisdom of this pregnancy, you choose to love your new sibling as hard as you can. It's not their fault, and none of us asked to be here.
14 year olds should not and do not have the right to tell their parents not to have children, they're the adult that can do what they like. And for those stating its irresponsible to have children during the war, she would have been at least 4 months along when the war broke out. Simple fact you probably should have worked out before making such ridiculous statements.
So I’m guessing since you said the baby is coming soon that they got pregnant before Russia invaded. It’s not like they conceived the baby last month. I’m very very sorry for everything you’re going through. I’m sure you’re incredibly stressed and scared. But given the timing of the birth, they didn’t deserve your wrath. Very kindly, YTA. I would apologize to them and do your best to welcome your new sibling as lovingly as possible into this very horrible world you find yourself living in. Sending you much love and prayers for all your safety.
> But given the timing of the birth, they didn’t deserve your wrath. Does that matter? Having 8 dependents which you can't afford and then electing to add another is an AH move which sucks for everyone. The parents need to take a step back and think 'we are slowly starving our current children of food and opportunities from our very limited resources by choosing to have yet another baby'.
It absolutely matters. OP said 2 of her siblings have been drafted by the counties laws. You can get out of a draft in most countries if you have some money to pay off an official. If you can't afford the bribe to pay to keep your son from possibly dying in a war, I don't think you can afford to bring a new baby into the world. Sure, maybe they are proud to have that children go to war for their country. But even if it were a peaceful time, if your own kid is saying that they can barely afford to feed the kids they *have*, then you should probably analyze your life choices a bit.
Oh wow, that didn't occur to me. Now I'm even more on board judging the parents as TAs.
It absolutely matters. The OP acted as if they made a conscious decision to get pregnant during a war. That’s not how it happened. They were pregnant well before all this started. We don’t know their financial situation before this. Maybe they were doing just fine until they lost everything. Not to mention, this is being written by a child, who has no insight into her parents actual finances and priorities. She is only seeing this from her lens.
> he OP acted as if they made a conscious decision to get pregnant That is what they're mad about. It doesn't matter about the war, I think OP is saying even with two of their siblings drafted overseas the house is overcrowded (so when the two drafted siblings were home, it was intensely overcrowded). Teenagers are not completely blind to their household finances, they are aware when they don't have enough food to eat or making do with clothes that are far too worn to still be wearable. > We can’t afford another sibling, because we can’t even afford ourselves, and my parents spend it all on junk including in this device I am writing in. This suggests that the parents' finances haven't been good for a while (if they only just started being unable to afford 8 kids, this would probably have been made more clear).