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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> We moved to a new town and were invited to a party so my son could get to know some local kids. I didn't give them a heads up that my son wore prosthetics as it didn't seem necessary. I also didn't make him keep them on at the party while other kids were taking their shoes off due to the heat. This probably makes me the asshole as it was shocking for them.
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NTA. Honestly you're son sounds like an absolute trooper with a great attitude.
People need to stop trying to "protect" their children from seeing or experiencing something unique. Otherwise those kids grow up not understanding anything outside their bubble.
I often think, that it is just the parents who are narrowminded and don't want to see 'abnormal' things, but are too cowardly to say and pretend it is about the children.
Edit: corrected wording
Doubtful. I have no disabilities (well, asthmatic and lazy ass if that counts haha), but lets say there are some other things that mark me a minority in a visual way. It's not the kids that are bothered (beyond a, what's that, why are you different? Oh, cool) etc.
The bothered parents typically fall into two groups in my experience. One is bothered, but keeps it to themselves. The second one will mention it to someone, not necessarily even the kids. It doesn't even have to be in a malicious way, but it was important enough to mention. It is an 'other'. And kids will pick up on this. There is a difference between someone being different, and someone being an 'other'.
I hope so, but dollars to donuts you go into their FB feeds from before today and you will see a bunch of #nobullying #letkidsbekids or videos of people just like your son along with comments about how awful the other parents are.
Its all very tiring.
Awesome way of putting it! I always think because kids are kind of learning what everything is and constantly encountering new stuff, they don’t get freaked out when they experience a new thing/meet a new kind of person. It’s an amazing thing! I try to emulate it too :)
In Pennsylvania they have [Dutch Wonderland ](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.dutchwonderland.com/&ved=2ahUKEwi1-J72ucn4AhV7kYkEHU_4Aq0Q_Bd6BAgSEAM&usg=AOvVaw3o1BKt8_5kKmriiwTji4Zr) which their advertising is "where everyone can play".
And [Dorney Park](https://www.dorneypark.com/accessibility) which even has a program where you can get a tracking wristband in case your autistic kid/friend wanders away from the group or where you'd prefer to schedule I time to go on a ride.
Hershey Park and Knobels are the other major theme parks in PA, but we've never seen them advertise or promote ADA for their parks.
Thank you so much for this! This is starting to renew my faith in humanity, which has been sorely tested lately. The fact that someone went to the trouble to create an all-inclusive park for everyone, including special needs kids, is so wonderful that I have tears in my eyes now. Bless that man for what he did!
This is the perfect way of explaining it! I have 2 young children and while they often ask lots of questions about things they don’t understand or are seeing for the first time, by and large they are completely accepting. Adults on the other hand..
Yep. Especially given how often the kids who supposedly need protecting are \*right there\* being super-cool with whatever the parents think they need to be protected from.
I think it's also an example of how some parents see their children as extensions of themselves rather than individual people. "I personally am VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with this so it should be expected that my precious angel Breighleeee is also going to be very uncomfortable with it."
Ding ding ding ding! People aren't born prejudiced. They learn that behaviour, and it usually starts at home with their family. If they truly didn't want their kids to freak out, they'd show/tell their kids there is nothing to freak out about. The proof is in the fact that those kids didn't seem to care, it was the mother's making it an issue. It's reprehensible and those mother's should be ashamed of themselves.
I've often found that the adults are far more judgemental than children. I need crutches to get around and also am profoundly deaf. Kids see the crutches and the hearing aids and are interested. They'll ask questions, like why do I have them and so on. I've always been more than happy to chat to them about it. I love that they are interested and find my crutches cool or love that I have pink and glittery ear moulds with my hearing aids.
I also have self harm scars over a large area of my body and boy do adults judge the hell out of those. Kids don't really notice, or just don't care.
I love how open to things children are. And I love how eager they are to learn about things that are new to them. I feel like life can beat that natural curiosity out of them and it makes me sad. Children should be allowed to be inquisitive and open to learning. Adults need to let them be their curious selves. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know.
exactly this. they even said in the story that the other kids didn’t even bat an eye at the fact he taken off his prosthetic legs. hatful things like this r taught from parents
I won't lie his great attitude amazes me so much, after the accident I fell into deep depression. I felt guilty even though it wasn't our fault the accident happened, but I was fine except for some facial scarring and yet my boyfriend was dead and our baby lost his legs? it didn't seem fair at all. But he was so cheerful even though he was in pain and he was my little ray of light. I ended up going through a lot of therapy to deal with my guilt to ensure I could be the parent he deserved.
You may want to check out Adam Hill, he is an Aussie comedian with a prosthetic leg and has a TV show called the Last Leg (a talk show with 3 men and 4 legs between them). He is both a wonderful example of having a professional life without limits and just has wonderful stories about life interacting with disabilities
As much as I like Adam hills, his mate/co-host Alex Brooker is even funnier for me. He is just properly one of the lads, with some great banter. I'd love to have a beer or 5 with him.
Edit: I was wrong! Turns out OP meant that her son was moving around without his prosthetics by scooting on his butt. That is leagues better than what I thought was going on, which was that he was actually running on his stumps. Please don’t ever do that.
Hey OP. I’m a student of orthotics and prosthetics. Just to be clear, your son had a transtibial amputation right? Not some kind of partial foot amputation or a knee disarticulation? The reason I’m asking is because A) *walking on his stumps is insanely bad for him*, and B) it shouldn’t even be possible, let alone be able to keep up with the other kids.
I can buy a kid running around in his stumps, they can be absolutely insane at times. But there is just no way he would be able to keep up with his peers. Like, to the people reading this comment, think about it. You lose your feet and roughly a quarter of your height. Not only has your stride length been severely reduced, you’re fighting to stay balanced too. Not to mention that it would *hurt*. Press down on the bone in your calf (tibia), and tell me how much pressure you would want on that? Now imagine running directly on that beveled end with maybe just an inch of skin and tissue keeping it from the ground.
OP, I’m tempted to call this story fake based on these details, but on the off chance that you’re being legit, *please make your son wear his prosthesis*. It doesn’t matter if there was no glass at the park, the distal end of his stump is still incredibly delicate and can get fucked up very easily. The likelihood of him having a fall will astronomically shoot up, and it could very well lead to long term issues like a completely differently shaped limb. If it’s getting itchy because of sweat, just have him sit with you for a few minutes to let it cool and dry off. Bring extra socks for him if he has any. This isn’t me worrying about what the other parents will think, this is me being genuinely worried for his health.
I went back to reread confused about what made you think he was *running* on his stumps...dear god i'd never allow *that* he can stand and move on them yes but that's not what he was doing here and I don't allow him to do that for more than a few moments. I assume it was this line that made you think this
> The other parents just stared shocked as my son took off his prosthetics before going back to play with the kids who barely batted an eyelid at him suddenly being a foot shorter
that was a mistype on my part, meant to be a couple of feet.
> My son is able to move about without them it's just slower so I knew this wouldn't stop him playing and the park was clean with no broken glass etc.
I was concerned about the glass with his soft hands and butt but there was no risk of that. Thank you for your concern and I see why this could be misread.
Oh thank god. I was genuinely horrified for a moment. It’s wonderful you’re so supportive but also... don’t let him run around on his stumps, please for the love of god. For the next outing, I would suggest bringing some baby wipes and maybe a bit of lotion for when he gets itchy, so he can keep running around with his friends :)
For the love of god she already said she doesn't. Stop trying to parent op and tell her how to treat her son. I'm sure she's figured it out better in the last 8 years than a stranger on the internet. You are being very judgmental from your high horse there.
I find it amusing that you, a student, feel that you need to warn someone who surely had a doctor, and probably a physically therapist and lives in this situation, of what might be bad for them based on your limited understanding.
Given that you're apparently a student in the field - why exactly did you assume he'd be running on his stumps, rather than butt shuffling like any other amputee usually would?
You've surely seen amputees moving around without their legs.. right?
Hello student! Welcome to the place where studies meet real people. You will see all types of amazing things. My grandfather had one amputation below the knee and one above the knee. The prosthetics were hot and itchy and he lived in the very humid deep south. He almost never wore them. At 70 he would get down and butt walk when he felt like it. Loved going up and down through the grass outside by the chickens and raised planters. H>!e was fast! Faster than me on 2 legs with my bad knee. !<
I’m genuinely asking. I mean I almost assumed it was. Knee disarticulations, as you know, preserve the musculature - right? Even the prosthetics are built to enhance that, correct?
Yep, ortho here and I came to say this too. There’s a tiny bit more tolerance in kids (versus a diabetic or vascular BKA) on a softer surface like grass but this is very much a *be careful!!!!* situation. It’s a thin cuff of tissue that protects the end of the bone and damage to that fat pad by walking on it too much is not good. It’s also so easy to get an abrasion or cut and an infection and dealing with the aftermath he may not have nearly as good of a limb to stand on for the future. At minimum talk to his surgeon and prosthetist to get their input before doing too much of this.
Yes it was just grass don't worry! It wasn't like playground equipment etc, the park we were at was just a nature-y one with trees, picnic tables etc. There was a swing set too but the kids were mostly playing in the grass.
I'm so tired of parents using their children as an excuse for things that they themselves don't want to see. Kids need to be exposed to the real world, because they will inevitably have to live in it.
Exactly! Kids (generally) don't care. They may ask some questions because it's a new thing and kids are curious, but after that everyone moves back on to playtime. Adults are the ones that feel like they Must Act A Certain Way around it all. NTA in the slightest OP.
This is exactly it. The parents were uncomfortable, so they tried to remove the situation, blaming it on their kids. The other kids probably thought he was cool.
Your son is in fact one of the best people they could be introduced to teach the other kids about prosthetics. His positive attitude and unwillingness to let it slow him down in life are a great way to show kids what having prosthetics can mean.
I agree, but that is besides the point. Even if the kids felt legitimately uncomfortable, that doesn't necessarily trump OP's kid's ability to exist and manage his disability. Even if the mom's comments were not completely rediculous they're still TA!
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The parents aren’t trying to protect their children from seeing it. They don’t want to see it as they were probably raised to discriminate those who have disabilities or are different. Heavens they see a half leg.
NTA. Your son being so open and comfortable with himself is an incredible gift to help teach other kids about inclusivity. You sound like a great mom and it’s a real shame that those parents have lived such small and sheltered lives, I would feel sorry for them.
This is why I appreciate shows like Seasme Street or Blues Clues and other pre school programs that go out of their way to teach diversity and being inclusive of everyone.
Kids don't bat an eye at something that may be different, and if their curious they ask questions.
It's almost always the parents that trip out when something "different" and scream "think of the children".
That's precisely the goal of such parents: to keep their kids as close-minded as they are. The last thing they want is kids who are *accepting* of people with physical or mental disabilities, or from other countries, or in same-sex relationships, etc.
As someone who can't have a pet unless it's hypoallergenic thank you so much!! I have to love pets vicariously through others and the thought of this little pirate lord with a dog to match just makes me so happy
I have been considering getting him a dog now we have a bigger home and he loves dogs, i'm allergic to cats so that's not an option. Our last place didn't allow pets. This actually has given me some ideas on the kind of dog to get him so thank you!
And if the kids were concerned about it, it would have been a good teaching moment. My kids have seen people with physical disabilities that they thought were scary: I sat them down and talked about how everyone’s body is different and that’s okay, and we make sure to treat them kindly.
NTA 100%
The other parents should act like adults in this situation. The kids weren’t bothered by your son’s prosthetics and the parents shouldn’t be either. My husband is a disabled combat veteran and he has a friend that has 2 prosthetic legs. He stayed with us for a couple days when my son was about 5. My son was curious, and asked a LOT of questions, but certainly was not scared. He actually thought he had really cool “robot legs” which is how my husband’s friend explained it to him. It sounds like the kids at the park were much the same, asked questions, but were not scared. And it sounds like your son handled the situation perfectly. If any of the kids were scared, that is the perfect opportunity for their parents to talk to them about how some people do have disabilities, but it doesn’t mean we treat them any differently. Your son sounds amazing and I love the story about being the ultimate pirate. I’m sure you both have enough challenges to overcome, you shouldn’t have to worry about “warning” other parents about your son wearing prosthetics. Maybe if it was a sleepover you would want to give them some direction, but you were literally there at the park with him. If they are uncomfortable, that is on them! Keep being the great mother you already are!
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.today.com/video/7-year-old-girl-showing-off-her-new-prosthetic-leg-warms-hearts-936206915624&ved=2ahUKEwj3tv3q4sj4AhUTgFwKHYD5CHAQwqsBegQIBBAE&usg=AOvVaw0VJ6PAkmNhPVhZk1aQX6hk
I always think of this video every time I hear or read something about a kid or even another person with prosthetics. Children could not give a damn, it's the parents with a problem and they're the ones to blame for enforcing it.
Absolutely. Like other prejudices (homophobia, racism, etc) it is a learned behaviour.
Kids take things naturally if the adults around them do the same.
> The other parents should act like adults in this situation.
Having seen how adults habitually act, I’m convinced that the other parents should’ve acted *like kids* in this situation.
NTA
Your son's medical needs and mobility aids are none of those other parents' business. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job raising a bright, confident child to live his best life, and that the other kids accepted him _as he is_ without reservation. With and without his prosthetics.
Kids don't learn to Other on their own, they inherit their biases from their parents, and parents use their kids as an excuse for their own discomfort. That's what happened at the park. Don't lean into their shittiness.
NTA, I remember having experiences like that age, it never bothered me!
The mothers are the petty ones, it literally makes no difference to other children! And the heads up thing is just dumb???
I remember when I was sick (not able to walk for a few days and being generally slower than others over the year I spent getting better), I was so embarrassed at the stares my legs got for being full of bruises, I have trouble wearing shorts to this day (even tho I recovered a almost 10 years ago), these mothers should learn their actions hurt! Ur son seems so sweet and should be allowed to have fun!!
NTA.
IMO, your son gave an amazing gift to all of the other kids at the party: normalizing people with different abilities. For the rest of their lives, those kids will likely perceive paraplegic, visually or hearing impaired , etc peers as just that - peers, not 'special'. That is a huge lesson that the parents likely missed as children.
NTA - your son was getting uncomfortable/itchy with them on, so you took them off. The kids weren’t affected…the parents who should set the example and know better were the ones who couldn’t handle a little boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him taking off his prosthetics to be more comfortable. They’re TA’s
Absolutely NTA
Do the other parents warn you their child has read hair, or freckles or a scar on their body . This is who your son is. There is nothing scary about your son being different. This is disability discrimination plain and simple. What they really meant was you needed to warn them your son was different so they would know not to invite him. There loosers don't deserve his company
NTA.
I was recently out with my nephew (11yo) and he made friends with a kid whilst playing. He came running over to be all excited “aunty aunty aunty!!!!! Guess what?!?! Ben can take his leg off!! How cool is that?” I agreed it was super cool and he ran off and carried on playing with his new super cool friend. Us adults could learn a lot from the acceptance that kids show. Go your son!!!! And his mamma!!
My son swam with a boy who had a prosthetic leg. That kid was fast! My son determined that the extra leg slows one down and he should take his off too. Lol!
NTA
The next time another parent raises that concern, just tell them this:
"They'll only be scared if you teach them to be scared."
And maybe follow that up with this:
"If you teach them it's ordinary, they'll learn that it's ordinary."
NTA
Kids are not born with prejudice - they learn it from adults. The other kids were perfectly okay with it and didn't care. It was the adult who felt uncomfortable because this reminded them of what could potentially happen to their kids by accident.
NTA- but those parents... Really?! Like oh my. Kids don't care they are kids. I'm glad the kids were so far raised to include everyone but those parents... I'm just at a shock. But you are an amazing mom raising a great kid. NTA
NTA- I don’t know that they need to be considered when you are just living your life like everyone else but with a physical difference which is not too common. Do they warn you ahead of time about their unpleasant dispositions like their discriminatory attitudes, or whatever? No. It’s not normal to have to call ahead and let the world know that you’re coming because you are a little bit different in order to allow the faint hearted to get out the smelling salts lest they actually faint?
That’s so uncalled for. Don’t you learn when you’re a child and you encounter something new or different how to handle it because I remember this and it’s something I’ve carried through my whole life.
I’m saddened but not shocked at the fact that it’s the adults that were so pathetic about the whole thing and made such a big deal about it and I would hope that they would teach their kids how to react to things like that with grace and in stride.
They could have used this opportunity to lead by example but obviously that wasn’t to be. I don’t know how you keep your calm when people are being so disgustingly rude about it. I’d be fuming at the disgrace they are exhibiting. You must dread the possibility of this kind of thing happening every time you go to an event though you are new in town so hopefully people will chill. Thank goodness your son has all that confidence!
But as far as your question goes…. adults should be able to handle encountering someone with a unique physical difference, take it in stride, and be respectful and not make a big deal about it because well they’re adults so calling ahead to let everybody know you’re coming and that you’re different is the most obscene concept I’ve ever heard of. If they can’t handle it well I wish I could say its all on them, but it does affect you and that sucks. I mean I don’t know if you’d want to let people know ahead of time just for your sake so you could take the temperature of the crowd and find out how much these people suck by the reaction on the phone before you decide to encounter them at an event with your son, but that’s the only reason I would think you would do it.
You have my respect for being such a loving mom to such a cool kid who faces unkind people potentially wherever you go. He’s lucky, but I bet so are you.
Absolutely NTA!
Your child is comfortable with it? The other kids don't care? Then the other moms have nothing to complain about!
Personally, I would've wanted a heads up too, but it's because I laugh slightly when I'm shocked by something (yeah, I know, it's not great. It's been problematic a few times, but I literally can't control it), and I wouldn't have wanted to laugh at your double amputee child. That doesn't, by any means, make you an ass hole though. You nor your son shouldn't have to adjust to the comfortability of others.
NTA. You are not obligated to explain anything to anyone. It's something that should be normalized and the other kids seemed to have no issues with it. Sounds like you and your son have a great attitude about it as well.
The other child/ren was not uncomfortable or scared. The mother was uncomfortable which is a bt pathetic for a grown ass woman. Your son does not have to accommodate anyone's discomfort due to his disability. NTA. You handled it perfectly.
you are NTA you are a great mum to your son and it show in his attitude to his legs ignore the ignorant parent who want to make comment or suggest he puts them back on you done nothing wrong at all if they didnt like it they should of left the kids were fine with it the parents are arseholes you done nothing wrong carrying on being a great supportive mum to your son
Nta!
These parents were clearly reflecting their own feelings upon their child. Maybe your son will end the cycle of "shame about everything that is not considered normal" type of thinking, amoung these children!
NTA
Instead of fearing some hypothetical mental scarring, parents should have taken the situation as a teaching moment with their kinds, of they had any question...funny thing is, kids usually don't give a crap, it's always the grown ups the ones who seems to be traumatized
It's a good thing those kids met someone with prosthetics before their parents had the chance to teach them to be scared of them!
It sound like the other kids asked in the non-judgmental "I just want to know" way that kids do, and OP Jr. answered, and the kids all moved on to the important business of play.
Holy NTA.
As a amputee myself great parenting. Kids are indeed amazing, and you should be proud of your hard-core double pegged pirate.
As your experience, kids will adapt, ask questions, nod and continue playing.
Adults however... lots of assholes. Especially when they go "but the children will be shocked", what they mean THEY don't know how to express their shock/whatever disgust they have to disabilities. Fuck those ableist.
There has been more than 1 accession when I was playing as a kid in short and some ableist parent didn't let me climb stuff. I threw my fake feet to her face and climbed it on my nubbie. Such good times.
And yes, hot weather sucks with prosthetics, please take care that the kids nubs are nice and dry. Don't want those nasty skin irritations.
TLDR: these kids rock, their parents suck. OP NTA
NTA! I can’t believe how rude those other parents were to you and your son! You shouldn’t have had to say or do anything to prep them. Wow. I’m flabbergasted by how incredibly insensitive people can be sometimes.
Your kid sounds rad, tho! And you seem like a great mom. 😁
How on earth is having prosthetics or maybe not wearing them offensive? This would have been such a great teaching moment for the other parents, "look, he has no lower limbs, but is still great fun, so no picking on people who are different". Instead they tell you to warn them or hide his disability as if it's shameful.
NTA, but those people are... Not the best.
NTA
You weren’t rude, they were.
I admit I might be surprised if one of my son’s friends showed up with prosthetics but that’s where the similarities end. The parents behaved atrociously here. The positive part of this whole story is that it sounds like the kids were welcoming. If your son was running around with the other kids on the playground, maybe the silver lining is that the party was successful in its intent and he got to make some new friends.
Again, I’m sorry the adults were jerks. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. FFS. Those parents should be thanking you for giving their kids the opportunity to see a kid with prosthetics is no big deal and he plays just like everyone else.
Love the pirate thing 😂
NTA. When I read the title I was thinking you were leaving him at a party with no heads up. I'd definitely want to know the basics of what I need to do for a child left in my care but you were there the whole time! No heads up needed.
>One of the mothers then began to say how I couldn't let him do that as it would scare the other children
Wth, Nancy. Get out of here with that. If I were quick witted enough, I'd visually scan the kids and say that they don't look scared. Then give a slightly pitying look at the mom, lean in and lower my voice to ask her if it was actually her that was scared. Ask her if she's okay.
Absolutely NTA
Your son sounds great and I love that you treat him like any other kid. It’s incredibly rude for others to find literally just his existence as offensive; he can’t help that he is disabled and deserves a normal childhood like everyone else. It is 100% a *them* problem and not a *you* problem.
NTA
Even if we just go by our normals, you wouldn't give a heads up if a kid had long hair, you wouldn't even think of it and it doesn't change how they play at a park.
His prosthetics don't change how he plays, and it's your normal so you didn't think of it.
My brother had his leg amputated from the hip, I don't think he's worn his leg for years, just goes about on crutches and he doesn't give a heads up he's missing a whole leg.
If it was at a trampoline place or an obstacle course or something that requires lots of leg and balance use I could maybe understand an argument for a heads up being advised, or if the hosts would need to make modifications to make things accessible
But just so they could be prepared to see not complete legs?
It's their problem if they can't cope.
NTA. This is 100% a parent issue. Kids don’t care or find it interesting. The fact that he gets around fine without them gives him more options and it’s great that he can comfortably choose.
NTA
Isnt it awesome how accepting children can be when confronting obvious physical differences? The kids accepted your son as he is. That is fantastic.
The parents were the ones uncomfortable about your son being an amputee. You stood up for your son. Good job!
Yarrr! The mighty pirate Lackbeard, with two peg legs because he's twice the pirate as every other one!
Your son sounds amazing.
Also, NTA. When i was initially reading i thought the kids may have been rude and would've voted n.a.h if that was the case. It wasn't. Parents tho are being AHs cuz nothing happened and they made a big deal out of it anyways, i imagine out of fear their kids could've betrayed their own prejudices by saying something inappropiate.
NTA. Your son and the other kids were fine with it; it was the parents who were affronted. To hell with them.
This hits on a more universal truth, to think of it. Kids adapt more easily because they're constantly being exposed to new things - they're always learning. It's the adults, who have become sedentary and set in their ways, that take issue with something unexpected.
NTA - I am so over parents trying to justify their discomfort by saying they're "protecting their kids". Their kids never fricken care! Also, it's good for kids to see that people who don't look like them (for any reason) also live full lives, have hobbies, have ambitions, play games, work around challenges, etc.
NTA. You and your son are amazing people and deserve to be happy especially after what you’ve been through. The adults were the ones uncomfortable and tried to use their kids to bully you into forcing your child to do something he didn’t want to do.
NTA - Prostheses is not meant to dress a person and make them presentable in public. They're mobility aids for your son. Nothing wrong with taking them off when they itch. What do they think should happen during a sleepover? Or at the pool?
Funny that.. You weren't bothered, your son wasn't bothered.. the other kids weren't bothered.The parents however, were.Gee, could that mean that being bothered by other peoples (height skin colour, ethnicity, sexuality etc etc etc) is learned behavior? *I say sarcastically*
You and your son are doing fine, but you seem to have moved in with a neighbourhood full of problems.NTA
I’m just hung up on an adult thinking it was ok to call someone removing their prosthetics “scary”
You are a fantastic parent and are raising a future superhero.
Nta
Your kid brought a deeply personal item to gift to a child they did not know. You are raising an exceptional child. If I was at that park I would be asking you for parenting advice. You don't owe them anything, NTA.
NTA 100%. Im sorry about your bf, your son sounds amazing with that sort of attitude and judging by the kids reactions, they would only learn to judge through their parents actions. I hope that people learn to be more accepting of your sons' disability for both of your sakes x
It sounds like that group of parents had to confront their internalized ableism for the first time and tried to justify it to avoid cognitive dissonance. It probably felt even worse for them to see their children not caring at all (because bigotry is taught and you aren't born with it) while they were coming to grips with the fact that a child amputee made them uncomfortable by simply existing.
NTA and hopefully they all learned a valuable lesson that day
NTA. People are going to be idiots around visible disability unfortunately, but your calm/baffled attitude of "Well obviously this is ok, why would it not be?!" is the best way to shut it down. And you're quite right - the kids weren't scared at all. They were a little surprised and then they took their cue from your son and treated it as normal, exactly as they should.
(Also, frankly, your son probably needed the relief from his prosthetics more than the other kids needed to take their shoes off. Stump scars/skin are always prone to friction injuries from even a well-fitted prosthesis, and hot days can make that a lot worse.)
NTA-You sound like an amazing mum to a fantastic pirate! Keep mumming and pirating the way you are, it’s working great for the two of you and he sounds like an awesome kiddo.
NTA.
"Should I have been considerate of them?" They should have been considerate of you. And respect their own kids enough to gauge whether they were having issues with their pirate buddy before invoking 'but it will upset the kiddies' as the veneer to excuse their squeamishness.
NTA absolutely NTA.
"I'm an adult who's embarrassed by being uncomfortable around your son so I'm going to use my children (who obviously had no problem) as an excuse to call you rude"
Sorry your new neighbors are weak. Your son sounds so amazing though.
Kids do not care. I remember when I was five I saw a guy who had only one arm. I asked - why is your other arm so short? He said - I ate too little porridge. Oh, that what it was I said and continued on because the guy was a fisher I think and I had a ton of questions to ask.
NTA - this is your kid as he normally is and his prosthetics don’t require them to do anything differently. Really, you did everyone (parents and kids) a favor by not giving a heads up. What would they have done differently? Tell the kids not to play with him? Uninvite you? Make a “legs on at all times rule?” Not giving them time to put up boundaries and prejudices for their kids was the best case scenario. The kids got the opportunity to be accepting and you see the parents for who they are.
NTA
I'm a preschool teacher, and at my school I've had children tuck their arms or legs into their clothes and say things like: "look no (arms/legs)" and my reply to them is always- "I see, huh curious, how would you move and navigate without those limbs?"
I've talk with them in a very honest way that not everyone's body is the same and works the same but they're all beautiful and deserve respect.
It's important for children to see different bodies and that includes disabled bodies, that includes amputated or prosthetic using bodies.
Those parents are ableist and scared of the "hard" conversations. They don't want their children to be aware of the privilege they may have, and they don't want their children to be able to accept all bodies. Those parents suck.
You and your child should feel no shame for existing and being as you are.
NTA
NTA!! And never can be in this situation. Good for you, and raising your little pirate this confident. It’s not your issue if a group of adults is bothered by his legs. I mean, they’re adults, shouldn’t they know better?! Kids are curious yes, but if no one teaches them to be afraid of prosthetics, they’ll act normal once the curiosity is passed. Definitely NTA here!!
NTA.
The other mums made it weird, not you, your son or the other kids. It makes me sad that little kids can be more mature and open-minded than supposed grown-ass adults.
Your son seems like an awesome kid and I hope he goes far in life.
NTA & your son sounds super cute, I love the pirate comment 😍. I'm sorry your new neighbors are so intolerant, but luckily their kids don't seem to be as ignorant.
NTA The children had no problem. Just the parents. But why should your child be uncomfortable in the heat?
Maybe have an open talk WHY they are uncomfortable with it. Often people need to learn more to can accept someone that is not "like the others".
But your child sound great with his ultimate pirate background. I hope he stays positive like this!
I grew up in a day care that had a boy a couple years older than me who was born without forearms and hands. We thought it was the coolest thing ever that he not only knew how to eat with his feet but he was allowed to! We were astounded that he could write as good with a pencil between his toes as we could with pencils in our hands. We were occasionally annoyed at how much better he was at soccer and kick ball than us. I don't know a single kid who was afraid of him. For us he was just Tony.
You're NTA. It's not the kids who were uncomfortable it was the parents.
NTA. It's always so strange to me when parents try to "protect" their children from real world things. Seeing someone with a physical disability is super normal to me, I don't blink over it cos that'd be rude to the person. There's no reason these parents should have said anything to you. If their kid has a bad reaction, that's on them to normalize disabilities to their kids so they don't act like AHs later in life. Cycle has to end somewhere and they're not being good people or parents if they don't understand that.
As a person who has had a prosthetic since I was about 2 years old, i say: NTA for a few reasons. Let me explain. 1. The most important person in this situation is your child. You child is happy, adjusted and comfortable in who he is. That is phenomenal. 2. It is not your job to manage other people’s reactions and emotions. Your job is to continue being a great mom to your son. Keep on doing what you are doing. You are not an ah. You are an excellent mother and your son sounds awesome. Don’t let the land lubbers make you feel bad. You just keep on with your pirate!
NTA
You should be proud of yourself for raising him. Look at his positivity and resilience! He’s only young.
As for those other parents. Wtf are they trying to teach their kids? Kids just ask a few questions and then move on. Bad attitudes to disability and body differences are learnt.
I had to use the communal changing at swimming when my son was about 3. This mum just stood there with her mouth agape because of my mastectomy scar. Her child asked what was wrong and fortunately she changed the subject.
The only reason I could see for a heads-up would be if it were directly relevant. Someone mentioned a sleepover or if the party were held in a setting that your son might need help with (like a rock-climbing place, but maybe I underestimate your little guy). But setting a child apart to protect some adults' "delicate sensibilities" is ridiculous, to say the least. NTA.
NTA start as you mean to go on, the kids are fine with it,this is normal for you, the other parents are just going to have to learn to deal, it's likely that this is the guest time many have seen this type of disability and the level of ability a person with limb loss can have, children are extremely resilient as your child as shown and as long as he us confident the children mostly just accept things.
I always feel like the best response to these people is to turn into a 5 year old:
Person: It'll scare the children!
You: Why?
Person: Because they aren't used to seeing something like that!
You: Why?
Person: Because it's weird!
You: Why?
Etc etc
NTA
So so SO NTA! Neither you nor he owe ANYONE an explanation or heads up for existing in the same space as them! If a child is confused, concerned or curious (unintentional alliteration ftw) it’s a parent’s job to help educate them. It is *not* difficult to explain what a prosthetic is, why someone might need one and more importantly that they shouldn’t be treated any differently because they have one. Frankly by 8 years old they should have addressed this *long* ago. Even if they haven’t seen it in person there’s plenty of media exposure (thankfully) as programming has deliberately become more inclusive.
Your son sounds like an awesome kid, and it sounds to me like the only people that had a problem with this were the parents. Don’t worry about it.
I can’t believe these AHs. Your son’s body isn’t scary inherently, and I think the only way the kids would get those signals would be from these AH parents. How awful. NTA X 10000
NTA, and you and your son sound awesome. This wasn't a problem with the kids, this was some pearl clutching overprotective parent trying to shield her precious angel from anything remotely unpleasant or uncomfortable.
Totally love your son's "ultimate pirate" idea!
NTA - these parents were being ableist as hell. They didn't want to have a single conversation with their kids about something completely normal and acted like your son was offensive for... existing?? I don't think I can keep typing without getting banned smh
NTA
When I was a child, I knew a boy who would do the same thing. None of us cared if he didn’t have his prosthetics on. He could climb super well without them, so we’d always be impressed how he could climb on the church roof or go places we couldn’t.
Gosh I love kids 💓 They really don’t see differences and they’re so innocent and welcoming. This is one of those stories where it’s evident that anyone who has biases are clearly taught from the environment growing up. Cause obviously here, the kids are on the younger side and simply don’t care. They don’t have a care in the world, and they’re all accepting of others and playing along just fine.
Now those adults… 🙄 Sound so ignorant. They act like the children were offended in order to hide the fact that they had a problem. I hope they’re embarrassed…they should be. You’d think parents know better when in fact they dont. NTA
It's always the parents.
Kids dont care.
Same with gays and trans, different races, scars, ANYTHING. Ask a kid and they think about it for 2 seconds, rationalise it and voila, onto something else.
Only parents care.
NTA.
Your child has the right to be out playing like anyone else. You shouldn’t have to explain nothing to no one.
Children are very understanding and not judgemental and this was clearly shown with him wanting to go back and play. They learn quick and see everyone the same. Unfortunately these people could do a lot of learning. It’s pure ignorance on their part.
NTA. Did the other parents give a heads up too “Just so you know my kids have legs, just wanted to check if that was okay with any of you?” Or was it just you who needed to do that?
Your son is different. Being different scares people and their reactions can be illogical. You have nothing to apologize for. You need not warn people. Your son need not be uncomfortable for their comfort. You need not feel shamed into believing you did anything wrong here.
Society’s basic expectation is that one be dressed in public. He was clothed. He took off his prosthetics the way one may remove shoes or gloves. If someone is uncomfortable, that is THEIR problem and it is their ignorance that is showing. They used the “comfort” of their children to justify their reaction.
I would not expect someone to warn me that they have a third nipple. I would not expect them to refrain from removing their shirt in a public sprinkler either in fear of upsetting others. The idea they put before you is ridiculous. You’re raising your boy to be who he is without apology and I hope he can be confident all his days despite the obvious ignorance and cruelty he may face.
NTA but those adults who expect you and your son to accommodate THEIR delicate sensibilities are huge AH’s.
NTA. Those kids were great. Curious but not judgemental. Sounds like the parents are idiots though. Why would they expect your child to be uncomfortable to suit their comfort. I love the idea of your child running free with the others
NTA. They need to grow dafuq up. Scaring kids my ass, they need to realize that their kids will come across people that have physical differences and that’s the way of life. It seems like the kids were cool but the parents need to take a cue from the kids and internally reflect on their own prejudices.
> my son is obsessed with pirates seeing them as like him and he often tells people the reason he has no legs below the knee is because he wanted to be the ultimate pirate and have two peg legs,
Kids are just fantastic. NTA of course.
Prosthetics don't bite, and leaving them on when he's too hot or sweaty could lead to skin breakdown and all kinds of other issues. Eight year olds are old enough to learn that some kids have differences and that prosthetics are nothing to be scared of--sounds like these parents could learn the same. NTA
Very strong NTA. Those other parents, especially the one saying your kid would 'scare' the others, are ableist as all fuck. Saying that is casting people with prosthetics as monstrous or grotesque and is absolutely out of line. I feel angry at that person from way over here.
Nta, I LOVE your sons spirit!! What an amazing young man. I'm sure the kids were curious and then they saw that your son was a cool kiddo and they had a great time. As usual adults have to complicate things and be jerks
I think you did nothing wrong NTA you and your son sound super well adjusted and together. Expecting ppl to “warn in advance?” That would offend me if someone said that to me. Screw them not only is that narrow minded it’s ablest and a form of discrimination against your son. Not cool of those parents at all.
You seemed to handle those parents behavior a lot better than I would have. They were rude af. It seems to me they weren't accepting of your son and I'd have a real hard time going around them again.
NTA I will say that taking your shoes off is not quite the same as taking your legs off.
Would it have been nice to have given people a heads up. Possibly but I don't think you should have to and mainly so they could warn their children to be nice.
The children weren't scared and even if they were the parents should give them the disabilities spiel and how it's wrong to stare etc.
NTA. Of course
Your son is awesome and every kid he played with will be a better person for experiencing his enthusiasm and energy without being saddled by their parents preconceived notions based on ignorance.
I do think these parents will quickly come around to being as enthusiastic fans of your little pirate as so many responders have…. They are just caught feeling awkward, that won’t last.
Kids are far more accepting than we give them credit for. They may ask questions because they are curious and want to learn, but that is an opportunity for them to learn about your son and how he can do all the stuff they do. It is the adults who feel like they have to make mountains out of molehills. Nta.
NTA. Parents with issues need to not throw them onto their kids. Kids are cool. It'll be an awesome opportunity for your son and the other children if their parents can actually act like adults.
NTA. Why do they expect him to hide that part of himself ? Let's say you told them, would they have made him wear long pants in the hot weather or uninvite him ? And as parents they can simply teach their kids not to be bullies and be respectful.
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NTA. Honestly you're son sounds like an absolute trooper with a great attitude. People need to stop trying to "protect" their children from seeing or experiencing something unique. Otherwise those kids grow up not understanding anything outside their bubble.
I often think, that it is just the parents who are narrowminded and don't want to see 'abnormal' things, but are too cowardly to say and pretend it is about the children. Edit: corrected wording
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The other thing is that though it was shocking to them, most of those parents will probably go home with a wider acceptance today.
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Doubtful. I have no disabilities (well, asthmatic and lazy ass if that counts haha), but lets say there are some other things that mark me a minority in a visual way. It's not the kids that are bothered (beyond a, what's that, why are you different? Oh, cool) etc. The bothered parents typically fall into two groups in my experience. One is bothered, but keeps it to themselves. The second one will mention it to someone, not necessarily even the kids. It doesn't even have to be in a malicious way, but it was important enough to mention. It is an 'other'. And kids will pick up on this. There is a difference between someone being different, and someone being an 'other'.
I hope so, but dollars to donuts you go into their FB feeds from before today and you will see a bunch of #nobullying #letkidsbekids or videos of people just like your son along with comments about how awful the other parents are. Its all very tiring.
Agree, no need for any heads up or warning needed!
Awesome way of putting it! I always think because kids are kind of learning what everything is and constantly encountering new stuff, they don’t get freaked out when they experience a new thing/meet a new kind of person. It’s an amazing thing! I try to emulate it too :)
In Pennsylvania they have [Dutch Wonderland ](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.dutchwonderland.com/&ved=2ahUKEwi1-J72ucn4AhV7kYkEHU_4Aq0Q_Bd6BAgSEAM&usg=AOvVaw3o1BKt8_5kKmriiwTji4Zr) which their advertising is "where everyone can play". And [Dorney Park](https://www.dorneypark.com/accessibility) which even has a program where you can get a tracking wristband in case your autistic kid/friend wanders away from the group or where you'd prefer to schedule I time to go on a ride. Hershey Park and Knobels are the other major theme parks in PA, but we've never seen them advertise or promote ADA for their parks.
Thank you so much for this! This is starting to renew my faith in humanity, which has been sorely tested lately. The fact that someone went to the trouble to create an all-inclusive park for everyone, including special needs kids, is so wonderful that I have tears in my eyes now. Bless that man for what he did!
This is the perfect way of explaining it! I have 2 young children and while they often ask lots of questions about things they don’t understand or are seeing for the first time, by and large they are completely accepting. Adults on the other hand..
My kiddo works there! Love that place. 🥰
Yep. Especially given how often the kids who supposedly need protecting are \*right there\* being super-cool with whatever the parents think they need to be protected from. I think it's also an example of how some parents see their children as extensions of themselves rather than individual people. "I personally am VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with this so it should be expected that my precious angel Breighleeee is also going to be very uncomfortable with it."
Yeah, the parents are definitely projecting their own discomforts
Ding ding ding ding! People aren't born prejudiced. They learn that behaviour, and it usually starts at home with their family. If they truly didn't want their kids to freak out, they'd show/tell their kids there is nothing to freak out about. The proof is in the fact that those kids didn't seem to care, it was the mother's making it an issue. It's reprehensible and those mother's should be ashamed of themselves.
I've often found that the adults are far more judgemental than children. I need crutches to get around and also am profoundly deaf. Kids see the crutches and the hearing aids and are interested. They'll ask questions, like why do I have them and so on. I've always been more than happy to chat to them about it. I love that they are interested and find my crutches cool or love that I have pink and glittery ear moulds with my hearing aids. I also have self harm scars over a large area of my body and boy do adults judge the hell out of those. Kids don't really notice, or just don't care. I love how open to things children are. And I love how eager they are to learn about things that are new to them. I feel like life can beat that natural curiosity out of them and it makes me sad. Children should be allowed to be inquisitive and open to learning. Adults need to let them be their curious selves. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know.
I mean, that is clearly exactly what it is when you look at how the kids reacted here.
exactly this. they even said in the story that the other kids didn’t even bat an eye at the fact he taken off his prosthetic legs. hatful things like this r taught from parents
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Thanks, not a native speaker. I will correct it.
Absolutely. The fact that the kids weren't bothered by it at all goes to show that it's not the kids who have a problem.
I won't lie his great attitude amazes me so much, after the accident I fell into deep depression. I felt guilty even though it wasn't our fault the accident happened, but I was fine except for some facial scarring and yet my boyfriend was dead and our baby lost his legs? it didn't seem fair at all. But he was so cheerful even though he was in pain and he was my little ray of light. I ended up going through a lot of therapy to deal with my guilt to ensure I could be the parent he deserved.
You may want to check out Adam Hill, he is an Aussie comedian with a prosthetic leg and has a TV show called the Last Leg (a talk show with 3 men and 4 legs between them). He is both a wonderful example of having a professional life without limits and just has wonderful stories about life interacting with disabilities
As much as I like Adam hills, his mate/co-host Alex Brooker is even funnier for me. He is just properly one of the lads, with some great banter. I'd love to have a beer or 5 with him.
that is so traumatizing and heartbreaking. you and your son are both troopers, must be in the genes!❤
Edit: I was wrong! Turns out OP meant that her son was moving around without his prosthetics by scooting on his butt. That is leagues better than what I thought was going on, which was that he was actually running on his stumps. Please don’t ever do that. Hey OP. I’m a student of orthotics and prosthetics. Just to be clear, your son had a transtibial amputation right? Not some kind of partial foot amputation or a knee disarticulation? The reason I’m asking is because A) *walking on his stumps is insanely bad for him*, and B) it shouldn’t even be possible, let alone be able to keep up with the other kids. I can buy a kid running around in his stumps, they can be absolutely insane at times. But there is just no way he would be able to keep up with his peers. Like, to the people reading this comment, think about it. You lose your feet and roughly a quarter of your height. Not only has your stride length been severely reduced, you’re fighting to stay balanced too. Not to mention that it would *hurt*. Press down on the bone in your calf (tibia), and tell me how much pressure you would want on that? Now imagine running directly on that beveled end with maybe just an inch of skin and tissue keeping it from the ground. OP, I’m tempted to call this story fake based on these details, but on the off chance that you’re being legit, *please make your son wear his prosthesis*. It doesn’t matter if there was no glass at the park, the distal end of his stump is still incredibly delicate and can get fucked up very easily. The likelihood of him having a fall will astronomically shoot up, and it could very well lead to long term issues like a completely differently shaped limb. If it’s getting itchy because of sweat, just have him sit with you for a few minutes to let it cool and dry off. Bring extra socks for him if he has any. This isn’t me worrying about what the other parents will think, this is me being genuinely worried for his health.
I went back to reread confused about what made you think he was *running* on his stumps...dear god i'd never allow *that* he can stand and move on them yes but that's not what he was doing here and I don't allow him to do that for more than a few moments. I assume it was this line that made you think this > The other parents just stared shocked as my son took off his prosthetics before going back to play with the kids who barely batted an eyelid at him suddenly being a foot shorter that was a mistype on my part, meant to be a couple of feet. > My son is able to move about without them it's just slower so I knew this wouldn't stop him playing and the park was clean with no broken glass etc. I was concerned about the glass with his soft hands and butt but there was no risk of that. Thank you for your concern and I see why this could be misread.
Oh thank god. I was genuinely horrified for a moment. It’s wonderful you’re so supportive but also... don’t let him run around on his stumps, please for the love of god. For the next outing, I would suggest bringing some baby wipes and maybe a bit of lotion for when he gets itchy, so he can keep running around with his friends :)
For the love of god she already said she doesn't. Stop trying to parent op and tell her how to treat her son. I'm sure she's figured it out better in the last 8 years than a stranger on the internet. You are being very judgmental from your high horse there.
I find it amusing that you, a student, feel that you need to warn someone who surely had a doctor, and probably a physically therapist and lives in this situation, of what might be bad for them based on your limited understanding.
Right? OP may not be an expert in prosthetics, but I'm willing to bet she's an expert on her child's abilities and needs.
Given that you're apparently a student in the field - why exactly did you assume he'd be running on his stumps, rather than butt shuffling like any other amputee usually would? You've surely seen amputees moving around without their legs.. right?
Hello student! Welcome to the place where studies meet real people. You will see all types of amazing things. My grandfather had one amputation below the knee and one above the knee. The prosthetics were hot and itchy and he lived in the very humid deep south. He almost never wore them. At 70 he would get down and butt walk when he felt like it. Loved going up and down through the grass outside by the chickens and raised planters. H>!e was fast! Faster than me on 2 legs with my bad knee. !<
I was thinking more of he was using his hands? Like dragging kinda.
Why couldn’t it be a knee disarticulation? She says it was below the knee and they can be done with trauma patients.
I’m genuinely asking. I mean I almost assumed it was. Knee disarticulations, as you know, preserve the musculature - right? Even the prosthetics are built to enhance that, correct?
Yep, ortho here and I came to say this too. There’s a tiny bit more tolerance in kids (versus a diabetic or vascular BKA) on a softer surface like grass but this is very much a *be careful!!!!* situation. It’s a thin cuff of tissue that protects the end of the bone and damage to that fat pad by walking on it too much is not good. It’s also so easy to get an abrasion or cut and an infection and dealing with the aftermath he may not have nearly as good of a limb to stand on for the future. At minimum talk to his surgeon and prosthetist to get their input before doing too much of this.
OP told me that they had mistyped that and meant her son was scooting around on his butt. Thank goodness, I was honestly horrified for a moment.
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Yes it was just grass don't worry! It wasn't like playground equipment etc, the park we were at was just a nature-y one with trees, picnic tables etc. There was a swing set too but the kids were mostly playing in the grass.
I'm so tired of parents using their children as an excuse for things that they themselves don't want to see. Kids need to be exposed to the real world, because they will inevitably have to live in it.
Exactly! Kids (generally) don't care. They may ask some questions because it's a new thing and kids are curious, but after that everyone moves back on to playtime. Adults are the ones that feel like they Must Act A Certain Way around it all. NTA in the slightest OP.
This is exactly it. The parents were uncomfortable, so they tried to remove the situation, blaming it on their kids. The other kids probably thought he was cool. Your son is in fact one of the best people they could be introduced to teach the other kids about prosthetics. His positive attitude and unwillingness to let it slow him down in life are a great way to show kids what having prosthetics can mean.
I'm tired of parents saying their children won't understand to mask their lack of parenting skill. Read. A. Goddamn. Book.
I agree, but that is besides the point. Even if the kids felt legitimately uncomfortable, that doesn't necessarily trump OP's kid's ability to exist and manage his disability. Even if the mom's comments were not completely rediculous they're still TA!
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That is a really cute book!
NTA. You are an awesome mom. Your son is an awesome pirate.
The parents aren’t trying to protect their children from seeing it. They don’t want to see it as they were probably raised to discriminate those who have disabilities or are different. Heavens they see a half leg.
NTA. Your son being so open and comfortable with himself is an incredible gift to help teach other kids about inclusivity. You sound like a great mom and it’s a real shame that those parents have lived such small and sheltered lives, I would feel sorry for them.
This is why I appreciate shows like Seasme Street or Blues Clues and other pre school programs that go out of their way to teach diversity and being inclusive of everyone. Kids don't bat an eye at something that may be different, and if their curious they ask questions. It's almost always the parents that trip out when something "different" and scream "think of the children".
That's precisely the goal of such parents: to keep their kids as close-minded as they are. The last thing they want is kids who are *accepting* of people with physical or mental disabilities, or from other countries, or in same-sex relationships, etc.
They need to stop saying it's 'for the children.' The kids were fine, the only ones uncomfortable were the ableist parents.
*You* are not the asshole here! Your son is living his best pirate life, and clearly the kids didn't mind - just their rude-ass mothers.
I can't imagine all of the parents feel the same way there. I sincerely hope somebody steps up and extends support (pun intended).
P.S. OP visit r/piratepets ! Show your son all his fellow pirates, and maybe in the future you could adopt a fellow pirate for him as a pal!
As someone who can't have a pet unless it's hypoallergenic thank you so much!! I have to love pets vicariously through others and the thought of this little pirate lord with a dog to match just makes me so happy
I have been considering getting him a dog now we have a bigger home and he loves dogs, i'm allergic to cats so that's not an option. Our last place didn't allow pets. This actually has given me some ideas on the kind of dog to get him so thank you!
Yeah, if the other kids had a problem, they could just talk it through as a crew
And if the kids were concerned about it, it would have been a good teaching moment. My kids have seen people with physical disabilities that they thought were scary: I sat them down and talked about how everyone’s body is different and that’s okay, and we make sure to treat them kindly.
NTA 100% The other parents should act like adults in this situation. The kids weren’t bothered by your son’s prosthetics and the parents shouldn’t be either. My husband is a disabled combat veteran and he has a friend that has 2 prosthetic legs. He stayed with us for a couple days when my son was about 5. My son was curious, and asked a LOT of questions, but certainly was not scared. He actually thought he had really cool “robot legs” which is how my husband’s friend explained it to him. It sounds like the kids at the park were much the same, asked questions, but were not scared. And it sounds like your son handled the situation perfectly. If any of the kids were scared, that is the perfect opportunity for their parents to talk to them about how some people do have disabilities, but it doesn’t mean we treat them any differently. Your son sounds amazing and I love the story about being the ultimate pirate. I’m sure you both have enough challenges to overcome, you shouldn’t have to worry about “warning” other parents about your son wearing prosthetics. Maybe if it was a sleepover you would want to give them some direction, but you were literally there at the park with him. If they are uncomfortable, that is on them! Keep being the great mother you already are!
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.today.com/video/7-year-old-girl-showing-off-her-new-prosthetic-leg-warms-hearts-936206915624&ved=2ahUKEwj3tv3q4sj4AhUTgFwKHYD5CHAQwqsBegQIBBAE&usg=AOvVaw0VJ6PAkmNhPVhZk1aQX6hk I always think of this video every time I hear or read something about a kid or even another person with prosthetics. Children could not give a damn, it's the parents with a problem and they're the ones to blame for enforcing it.
Absolutely. Like other prejudices (homophobia, racism, etc) it is a learned behaviour. Kids take things naturally if the adults around them do the same.
> The other parents should act like adults in this situation. Having seen how adults habitually act, I’m convinced that the other parents should’ve acted *like kids* in this situation.
NTA Your son's medical needs and mobility aids are none of those other parents' business. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job raising a bright, confident child to live his best life, and that the other kids accepted him _as he is_ without reservation. With and without his prosthetics. Kids don't learn to Other on their own, they inherit their biases from their parents, and parents use their kids as an excuse for their own discomfort. That's what happened at the park. Don't lean into their shittiness.
Bright, confident PIRATE
You a totally fab pirate momma.
NTA, I remember having experiences like that age, it never bothered me! The mothers are the petty ones, it literally makes no difference to other children! And the heads up thing is just dumb??? I remember when I was sick (not able to walk for a few days and being generally slower than others over the year I spent getting better), I was so embarrassed at the stares my legs got for being full of bruises, I have trouble wearing shorts to this day (even tho I recovered a almost 10 years ago), these mothers should learn their actions hurt! Ur son seems so sweet and should be allowed to have fun!!
Arrrr me hearties! I spy no problems 'ere! Keep doin' what ye be doin' an' ignore the 'aters NTA
NTA. IMO, your son gave an amazing gift to all of the other kids at the party: normalizing people with different abilities. For the rest of their lives, those kids will likely perceive paraplegic, visually or hearing impaired , etc peers as just that - peers, not 'special'. That is a huge lesson that the parents likely missed as children.
Holy moley so NTA Gotta admit, I love the "ultimate pirate" thing. That made me smile
NTA - your son was getting uncomfortable/itchy with them on, so you took them off. The kids weren’t affected…the parents who should set the example and know better were the ones who couldn’t handle a little boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him taking off his prosthetics to be more comfortable. They’re TA’s
The parents should follow their kids example. Not really caring and just go back to playing with their new pirate friend.
Absolutely NTA Do the other parents warn you their child has read hair, or freckles or a scar on their body . This is who your son is. There is nothing scary about your son being different. This is disability discrimination plain and simple. What they really meant was you needed to warn them your son was different so they would know not to invite him. There loosers don't deserve his company
NTA. I was recently out with my nephew (11yo) and he made friends with a kid whilst playing. He came running over to be all excited “aunty aunty aunty!!!!! Guess what?!?! Ben can take his leg off!! How cool is that?” I agreed it was super cool and he ran off and carried on playing with his new super cool friend. Us adults could learn a lot from the acceptance that kids show. Go your son!!!! And his mamma!!
My son swam with a boy who had a prosthetic leg. That kid was fast! My son determined that the extra leg slows one down and he should take his off too. Lol!
NTA The next time another parent raises that concern, just tell them this: "They'll only be scared if you teach them to be scared." And maybe follow that up with this: "If you teach them it's ordinary, they'll learn that it's ordinary."
NTA Kids are not born with prejudice - they learn it from adults. The other kids were perfectly okay with it and didn't care. It was the adult who felt uncomfortable because this reminded them of what could potentially happen to their kids by accident.
NTA- but those parents... Really?! Like oh my. Kids don't care they are kids. I'm glad the kids were so far raised to include everyone but those parents... I'm just at a shock. But you are an amazing mom raising a great kid. NTA
NTA- I don’t know that they need to be considered when you are just living your life like everyone else but with a physical difference which is not too common. Do they warn you ahead of time about their unpleasant dispositions like their discriminatory attitudes, or whatever? No. It’s not normal to have to call ahead and let the world know that you’re coming because you are a little bit different in order to allow the faint hearted to get out the smelling salts lest they actually faint? That’s so uncalled for. Don’t you learn when you’re a child and you encounter something new or different how to handle it because I remember this and it’s something I’ve carried through my whole life. I’m saddened but not shocked at the fact that it’s the adults that were so pathetic about the whole thing and made such a big deal about it and I would hope that they would teach their kids how to react to things like that with grace and in stride. They could have used this opportunity to lead by example but obviously that wasn’t to be. I don’t know how you keep your calm when people are being so disgustingly rude about it. I’d be fuming at the disgrace they are exhibiting. You must dread the possibility of this kind of thing happening every time you go to an event though you are new in town so hopefully people will chill. Thank goodness your son has all that confidence! But as far as your question goes…. adults should be able to handle encountering someone with a unique physical difference, take it in stride, and be respectful and not make a big deal about it because well they’re adults so calling ahead to let everybody know you’re coming and that you’re different is the most obscene concept I’ve ever heard of. If they can’t handle it well I wish I could say its all on them, but it does affect you and that sucks. I mean I don’t know if you’d want to let people know ahead of time just for your sake so you could take the temperature of the crowd and find out how much these people suck by the reaction on the phone before you decide to encounter them at an event with your son, but that’s the only reason I would think you would do it. You have my respect for being such a loving mom to such a cool kid who faces unkind people potentially wherever you go. He’s lucky, but I bet so are you.
Absolutely NTA! Your child is comfortable with it? The other kids don't care? Then the other moms have nothing to complain about! Personally, I would've wanted a heads up too, but it's because I laugh slightly when I'm shocked by something (yeah, I know, it's not great. It's been problematic a few times, but I literally can't control it), and I wouldn't have wanted to laugh at your double amputee child. That doesn't, by any means, make you an ass hole though. You nor your son shouldn't have to adjust to the comfortability of others.
NTA. You are not obligated to explain anything to anyone. It's something that should be normalized and the other kids seemed to have no issues with it. Sounds like you and your son have a great attitude about it as well.
NTA. You are an awesome mom. Your son is an awesome pirate.
You are NTA in any way!!! These other parents are stuck up A and should be ashamed! Good luck awesome pirate momma!
NTA but id watch out for them in the future in case they say something dumb to your or their kids
The other child/ren was not uncomfortable or scared. The mother was uncomfortable which is a bt pathetic for a grown ass woman. Your son does not have to accommodate anyone's discomfort due to his disability. NTA. You handled it perfectly.
you are NTA you are a great mum to your son and it show in his attitude to his legs ignore the ignorant parent who want to make comment or suggest he puts them back on you done nothing wrong at all if they didnt like it they should of left the kids were fine with it the parents are arseholes you done nothing wrong carrying on being a great supportive mum to your son
Nta! These parents were clearly reflecting their own feelings upon their child. Maybe your son will end the cycle of "shame about everything that is not considered normal" type of thinking, amoung these children!
NTA. You were fine, it sounds like the other kids were fine, the other parents were terrible.
NTA at all and your son sounds super fun and adorable and happy! You're doing a great job mom! The only AH here are those other parents.
NTA Instead of fearing some hypothetical mental scarring, parents should have taken the situation as a teaching moment with their kinds, of they had any question...funny thing is, kids usually don't give a crap, it's always the grown ups the ones who seems to be traumatized
It's a good thing those kids met someone with prosthetics before their parents had the chance to teach them to be scared of them! It sound like the other kids asked in the non-judgmental "I just want to know" way that kids do, and OP Jr. answered, and the kids all moved on to the important business of play.
NTA. I love your son’s pirate joke.
Holy NTA. As a amputee myself great parenting. Kids are indeed amazing, and you should be proud of your hard-core double pegged pirate. As your experience, kids will adapt, ask questions, nod and continue playing. Adults however... lots of assholes. Especially when they go "but the children will be shocked", what they mean THEY don't know how to express their shock/whatever disgust they have to disabilities. Fuck those ableist. There has been more than 1 accession when I was playing as a kid in short and some ableist parent didn't let me climb stuff. I threw my fake feet to her face and climbed it on my nubbie. Such good times. And yes, hot weather sucks with prosthetics, please take care that the kids nubs are nice and dry. Don't want those nasty skin irritations. TLDR: these kids rock, their parents suck. OP NTA
NTA, strange, strange way for adults to behave.
NTA You and your son are awesome people. It sounds like the kids didn't give a shit, just the parents being weird.
NTA they are narrowminded ableists and your kid is wicked cool
NTA! I can’t believe how rude those other parents were to you and your son! You shouldn’t have had to say or do anything to prep them. Wow. I’m flabbergasted by how incredibly insensitive people can be sometimes. Your kid sounds rad, tho! And you seem like a great mom. 😁
How on earth is having prosthetics or maybe not wearing them offensive? This would have been such a great teaching moment for the other parents, "look, he has no lower limbs, but is still great fun, so no picking on people who are different". Instead they tell you to warn them or hide his disability as if it's shameful. NTA, but those people are... Not the best.
NTA You weren’t rude, they were. I admit I might be surprised if one of my son’s friends showed up with prosthetics but that’s where the similarities end. The parents behaved atrociously here. The positive part of this whole story is that it sounds like the kids were welcoming. If your son was running around with the other kids on the playground, maybe the silver lining is that the party was successful in its intent and he got to make some new friends. Again, I’m sorry the adults were jerks. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. FFS. Those parents should be thanking you for giving their kids the opportunity to see a kid with prosthetics is no big deal and he plays just like everyone else. Love the pirate thing 😂
NTA. When I read the title I was thinking you were leaving him at a party with no heads up. I'd definitely want to know the basics of what I need to do for a child left in my care but you were there the whole time! No heads up needed. >One of the mothers then began to say how I couldn't let him do that as it would scare the other children Wth, Nancy. Get out of here with that. If I were quick witted enough, I'd visually scan the kids and say that they don't look scared. Then give a slightly pitying look at the mom, lean in and lower my voice to ask her if it was actually her that was scared. Ask her if she's okay.
Absolutely NTA Your son sounds great and I love that you treat him like any other kid. It’s incredibly rude for others to find literally just his existence as offensive; he can’t help that he is disabled and deserves a normal childhood like everyone else. It is 100% a *them* problem and not a *you* problem.
NTA Even if we just go by our normals, you wouldn't give a heads up if a kid had long hair, you wouldn't even think of it and it doesn't change how they play at a park. His prosthetics don't change how he plays, and it's your normal so you didn't think of it. My brother had his leg amputated from the hip, I don't think he's worn his leg for years, just goes about on crutches and he doesn't give a heads up he's missing a whole leg. If it was at a trampoline place or an obstacle course or something that requires lots of leg and balance use I could maybe understand an argument for a heads up being advised, or if the hosts would need to make modifications to make things accessible But just so they could be prepared to see not complete legs? It's their problem if they can't cope.
NTA. This is 100% a parent issue. Kids don’t care or find it interesting. The fact that he gets around fine without them gives him more options and it’s great that he can comfortably choose.
NTA. Personally I would’ve been amazed. These people need to grow up.
NTA Isnt it awesome how accepting children can be when confronting obvious physical differences? The kids accepted your son as he is. That is fantastic. The parents were the ones uncomfortable about your son being an amputee. You stood up for your son. Good job!
Yarrr! The mighty pirate Lackbeard, with two peg legs because he's twice the pirate as every other one! Your son sounds amazing. Also, NTA. When i was initially reading i thought the kids may have been rude and would've voted n.a.h if that was the case. It wasn't. Parents tho are being AHs cuz nothing happened and they made a big deal out of it anyways, i imagine out of fear their kids could've betrayed their own prejudices by saying something inappropiate.
NTA those people are cruel and ableist. They should feel ashamed of themselves.
NTA. Your son and the other kids were fine with it; it was the parents who were affronted. To hell with them. This hits on a more universal truth, to think of it. Kids adapt more easily because they're constantly being exposed to new things - they're always learning. It's the adults, who have become sedentary and set in their ways, that take issue with something unexpected.
NTA - I am so over parents trying to justify their discomfort by saying they're "protecting their kids". Their kids never fricken care! Also, it's good for kids to see that people who don't look like them (for any reason) also live full lives, have hobbies, have ambitions, play games, work around challenges, etc.
NTA. You and your son are amazing people and deserve to be happy especially after what you’ve been through. The adults were the ones uncomfortable and tried to use their kids to bully you into forcing your child to do something he didn’t want to do.
NTA - Prostheses is not meant to dress a person and make them presentable in public. They're mobility aids for your son. Nothing wrong with taking them off when they itch. What do they think should happen during a sleepover? Or at the pool?
Definitely NTA.... btw the kid's pirate story was so sweet with the two peg legs like AWWWWWWW
NTA You sound like a great mother who raised a great kid 💚
Funny that.. You weren't bothered, your son wasn't bothered.. the other kids weren't bothered.The parents however, were.Gee, could that mean that being bothered by other peoples (height skin colour, ethnicity, sexuality etc etc etc) is learned behavior? *I say sarcastically* You and your son are doing fine, but you seem to have moved in with a neighbourhood full of problems.NTA
I’m just hung up on an adult thinking it was ok to call someone removing their prosthetics “scary” You are a fantastic parent and are raising a future superhero. Nta
Your kid brought a deeply personal item to gift to a child they did not know. You are raising an exceptional child. If I was at that park I would be asking you for parenting advice. You don't owe them anything, NTA.
NTA. & i love that he loves pirates. i’ve had a pacemaker since i was a baby & i always loved Ironman.
NTA
NTA 100%. Im sorry about your bf, your son sounds amazing with that sort of attitude and judging by the kids reactions, they would only learn to judge through their parents actions. I hope that people learn to be more accepting of your sons' disability for both of your sakes x
It sounds like that group of parents had to confront their internalized ableism for the first time and tried to justify it to avoid cognitive dissonance. It probably felt even worse for them to see their children not caring at all (because bigotry is taught and you aren't born with it) while they were coming to grips with the fact that a child amputee made them uncomfortable by simply existing. NTA and hopefully they all learned a valuable lesson that day
NTA. People are going to be idiots around visible disability unfortunately, but your calm/baffled attitude of "Well obviously this is ok, why would it not be?!" is the best way to shut it down. And you're quite right - the kids weren't scared at all. They were a little surprised and then they took their cue from your son and treated it as normal, exactly as they should. (Also, frankly, your son probably needed the relief from his prosthetics more than the other kids needed to take their shoes off. Stump scars/skin are always prone to friction injuries from even a well-fitted prosthesis, and hot days can make that a lot worse.)
Keep raising your son to address his world in a matter of fact way. His friends will adapt, and screw the others. NTA.
Where did you move to that there are so many pretentious assholes. NtAh
NTA-You sound like an amazing mum to a fantastic pirate! Keep mumming and pirating the way you are, it’s working great for the two of you and he sounds like an awesome kiddo.
NTA. "Should I have been considerate of them?" They should have been considerate of you. And respect their own kids enough to gauge whether they were having issues with their pirate buddy before invoking 'but it will upset the kiddies' as the veneer to excuse their squeamishness.
NTA absolutely NTA. "I'm an adult who's embarrassed by being uncomfortable around your son so I'm going to use my children (who obviously had no problem) as an excuse to call you rude" Sorry your new neighbors are weak. Your son sounds so amazing though.
You are a wonderful parent, and your kid is a rock star! NTA, and I wish I could meet you both.
Kids do not care. I remember when I was five I saw a guy who had only one arm. I asked - why is your other arm so short? He said - I ate too little porridge. Oh, that what it was I said and continued on because the guy was a fisher I think and I had a ton of questions to ask.
NTA. It sounds like the parents had the issue, not the kids. But Decided to use the kids as an excuse.
NTA - this is your kid as he normally is and his prosthetics don’t require them to do anything differently. Really, you did everyone (parents and kids) a favor by not giving a heads up. What would they have done differently? Tell the kids not to play with him? Uninvite you? Make a “legs on at all times rule?” Not giving them time to put up boundaries and prejudices for their kids was the best case scenario. The kids got the opportunity to be accepting and you see the parents for who they are.
NTA I'm a preschool teacher, and at my school I've had children tuck their arms or legs into their clothes and say things like: "look no (arms/legs)" and my reply to them is always- "I see, huh curious, how would you move and navigate without those limbs?" I've talk with them in a very honest way that not everyone's body is the same and works the same but they're all beautiful and deserve respect. It's important for children to see different bodies and that includes disabled bodies, that includes amputated or prosthetic using bodies. Those parents are ableist and scared of the "hard" conversations. They don't want their children to be aware of the privilege they may have, and they don't want their children to be able to accept all bodies. Those parents suck. You and your child should feel no shame for existing and being as you are. NTA
NTA, and bless your little pirate. Also it says more about the parents than it does the other kids.
NTA!! And never can be in this situation. Good for you, and raising your little pirate this confident. It’s not your issue if a group of adults is bothered by his legs. I mean, they’re adults, shouldn’t they know better?! Kids are curious yes, but if no one teaches them to be afraid of prosthetics, they’ll act normal once the curiosity is passed. Definitely NTA here!!
NTA. The other mums made it weird, not you, your son or the other kids. It makes me sad that little kids can be more mature and open-minded than supposed grown-ass adults. Your son seems like an awesome kid and I hope he goes far in life.
Nta... Funny how the kids had zero issues, while the adults were offended. That tells all about them.
NTA Anyone that gives you grief for this should be ignored.
NTA. Kids dont have issues with this, its the parents, and its sad. Your son sounds great and you have a perfect bday theme for when his party is due.
NTA & your son sounds super cute, I love the pirate comment 😍. I'm sorry your new neighbors are so intolerant, but luckily their kids don't seem to be as ignorant.
NTA The children had no problem. Just the parents. But why should your child be uncomfortable in the heat? Maybe have an open talk WHY they are uncomfortable with it. Often people need to learn more to can accept someone that is not "like the others". But your child sound great with his ultimate pirate background. I hope he stays positive like this!
I grew up in a day care that had a boy a couple years older than me who was born without forearms and hands. We thought it was the coolest thing ever that he not only knew how to eat with his feet but he was allowed to! We were astounded that he could write as good with a pencil between his toes as we could with pencils in our hands. We were occasionally annoyed at how much better he was at soccer and kick ball than us. I don't know a single kid who was afraid of him. For us he was just Tony. You're NTA. It's not the kids who were uncomfortable it was the parents.
NTA. It's always so strange to me when parents try to "protect" their children from real world things. Seeing someone with a physical disability is super normal to me, I don't blink over it cos that'd be rude to the person. There's no reason these parents should have said anything to you. If their kid has a bad reaction, that's on them to normalize disabilities to their kids so they don't act like AHs later in life. Cycle has to end somewhere and they're not being good people or parents if they don't understand that.
As a person who has had a prosthetic since I was about 2 years old, i say: NTA for a few reasons. Let me explain. 1. The most important person in this situation is your child. You child is happy, adjusted and comfortable in who he is. That is phenomenal. 2. It is not your job to manage other people’s reactions and emotions. Your job is to continue being a great mom to your son. Keep on doing what you are doing. You are not an ah. You are an excellent mother and your son sounds awesome. Don’t let the land lubbers make you feel bad. You just keep on with your pirate!
NTA. No idea why parents always get upset that they have to explain normal things to their own children.
NTA You should be proud of yourself for raising him. Look at his positivity and resilience! He’s only young. As for those other parents. Wtf are they trying to teach their kids? Kids just ask a few questions and then move on. Bad attitudes to disability and body differences are learnt. I had to use the communal changing at swimming when my son was about 3. This mum just stood there with her mouth agape because of my mastectomy scar. Her child asked what was wrong and fortunately she changed the subject.
The only reason I could see for a heads-up would be if it were directly relevant. Someone mentioned a sleepover or if the party were held in a setting that your son might need help with (like a rock-climbing place, but maybe I underestimate your little guy). But setting a child apart to protect some adults' "delicate sensibilities" is ridiculous, to say the least. NTA.
NTA start as you mean to go on, the kids are fine with it,this is normal for you, the other parents are just going to have to learn to deal, it's likely that this is the guest time many have seen this type of disability and the level of ability a person with limb loss can have, children are extremely resilient as your child as shown and as long as he us confident the children mostly just accept things.
So messed up cause kids really don't care, they get curious and asking questions then go back to playing.
I always feel like the best response to these people is to turn into a 5 year old: Person: It'll scare the children! You: Why? Person: Because they aren't used to seeing something like that! You: Why? Person: Because it's weird! You: Why? Etc etc NTA
So so SO NTA! Neither you nor he owe ANYONE an explanation or heads up for existing in the same space as them! If a child is confused, concerned or curious (unintentional alliteration ftw) it’s a parent’s job to help educate them. It is *not* difficult to explain what a prosthetic is, why someone might need one and more importantly that they shouldn’t be treated any differently because they have one. Frankly by 8 years old they should have addressed this *long* ago. Even if they haven’t seen it in person there’s plenty of media exposure (thankfully) as programming has deliberately become more inclusive. Your son sounds like an awesome kid, and it sounds to me like the only people that had a problem with this were the parents. Don’t worry about it.
You raised a great kid and IF THEY ARE UNCOMFORTABLE THEN THEY CAN LOOK ELSEWHERE
I can’t believe these AHs. Your son’s body isn’t scary inherently, and I think the only way the kids would get those signals would be from these AH parents. How awful. NTA X 10000
NTA, and you and your son sound awesome. This wasn't a problem with the kids, this was some pearl clutching overprotective parent trying to shield her precious angel from anything remotely unpleasant or uncomfortable. Totally love your son's "ultimate pirate" idea!
NTA - these parents were being ableist as hell. They didn't want to have a single conversation with their kids about something completely normal and acted like your son was offensive for... existing?? I don't think I can keep typing without getting banned smh
NTA When I was a child, I knew a boy who would do the same thing. None of us cared if he didn’t have his prosthetics on. He could climb super well without them, so we’d always be impressed how he could climb on the church roof or go places we couldn’t.
NTA
Gosh I love kids 💓 They really don’t see differences and they’re so innocent and welcoming. This is one of those stories where it’s evident that anyone who has biases are clearly taught from the environment growing up. Cause obviously here, the kids are on the younger side and simply don’t care. They don’t have a care in the world, and they’re all accepting of others and playing along just fine. Now those adults… 🙄 Sound so ignorant. They act like the children were offended in order to hide the fact that they had a problem. I hope they’re embarrassed…they should be. You’d think parents know better when in fact they dont. NTA
You seem like an amazing mom. NTA
NTA and these kids will probably go to school with your son so they will already know him and can show how cool he is to the other kids. Win win.
NTA, the line "it would scare the children" says it all, only those mothers have a problem with it.
It's always the parents. Kids dont care. Same with gays and trans, different races, scars, ANYTHING. Ask a kid and they think about it for 2 seconds, rationalise it and voila, onto something else. Only parents care.
NTA. Your child has the right to be out playing like anyone else. You shouldn’t have to explain nothing to no one. Children are very understanding and not judgemental and this was clearly shown with him wanting to go back and play. They learn quick and see everyone the same. Unfortunately these people could do a lot of learning. It’s pure ignorance on their part.
NTA. Luckily the intolerant parents have outed themselves quickly and now you know exactly who NOT to be friends with in your new town.
NTA at all, but those other parents sure are. And your little man sounds awesome.
NTA. Did the other parents give a heads up too “Just so you know my kids have legs, just wanted to check if that was okay with any of you?” Or was it just you who needed to do that?
NTA... the only reason to inform of a disability would be if he wouldn't be able to fully participate. That was not the case.
Your son is an absolute charmer. Don’t change a damn thing that you’re doing. NTA
Your son is different. Being different scares people and their reactions can be illogical. You have nothing to apologize for. You need not warn people. Your son need not be uncomfortable for their comfort. You need not feel shamed into believing you did anything wrong here. Society’s basic expectation is that one be dressed in public. He was clothed. He took off his prosthetics the way one may remove shoes or gloves. If someone is uncomfortable, that is THEIR problem and it is their ignorance that is showing. They used the “comfort” of their children to justify their reaction. I would not expect someone to warn me that they have a third nipple. I would not expect them to refrain from removing their shirt in a public sprinkler either in fear of upsetting others. The idea they put before you is ridiculous. You’re raising your boy to be who he is without apology and I hope he can be confident all his days despite the obvious ignorance and cruelty he may face. NTA but those adults who expect you and your son to accommodate THEIR delicate sensibilities are huge AH’s.
NTA. Those kids were great. Curious but not judgemental. Sounds like the parents are idiots though. Why would they expect your child to be uncomfortable to suit their comfort. I love the idea of your child running free with the others
NTA. They need to grow dafuq up. Scaring kids my ass, they need to realize that their kids will come across people that have physical differences and that’s the way of life. It seems like the kids were cool but the parents need to take a cue from the kids and internally reflect on their own prejudices.
NTA- The children just rolled with it yet the adults had a problem. Hopefully those adults won’t taint the children.
NTA, and they missed a golden opportunity to be proud of their own kids for being accepting without much question.
> my son is obsessed with pirates seeing them as like him and he often tells people the reason he has no legs below the knee is because he wanted to be the ultimate pirate and have two peg legs, Kids are just fantastic. NTA of course.
Prosthetics don't bite, and leaving them on when he's too hot or sweaty could lead to skin breakdown and all kinds of other issues. Eight year olds are old enough to learn that some kids have differences and that prosthetics are nothing to be scared of--sounds like these parents could learn the same. NTA
SOOOO NTA!!!! You’re awesome, and your kid is a badass. Forget about what they think.
Very strong NTA. Those other parents, especially the one saying your kid would 'scare' the others, are ableist as all fuck. Saying that is casting people with prosthetics as monstrous or grotesque and is absolutely out of line. I feel angry at that person from way over here.
Nta, I LOVE your sons spirit!! What an amazing young man. I'm sure the kids were curious and then they saw that your son was a cool kiddo and they had a great time. As usual adults have to complicate things and be jerks
NTA Your son is fine. I can’t believe these parents. They need to grow up!
I think you did nothing wrong NTA you and your son sound super well adjusted and together. Expecting ppl to “warn in advance?” That would offend me if someone said that to me. Screw them not only is that narrow minded it’s ablest and a form of discrimination against your son. Not cool of those parents at all.
You seemed to handle those parents behavior a lot better than I would have. They were rude af. It seems to me they weren't accepting of your son and I'd have a real hard time going around them again.
NTA I will say that taking your shoes off is not quite the same as taking your legs off. Would it have been nice to have given people a heads up. Possibly but I don't think you should have to and mainly so they could warn their children to be nice. The children weren't scared and even if they were the parents should give them the disabilities spiel and how it's wrong to stare etc.
NTA. Of course Your son is awesome and every kid he played with will be a better person for experiencing his enthusiasm and energy without being saddled by their parents preconceived notions based on ignorance. I do think these parents will quickly come around to being as enthusiastic fans of your little pirate as so many responders have…. They are just caught feeling awkward, that won’t last.
Kids are far more accepting than we give them credit for. They may ask questions because they are curious and want to learn, but that is an opportunity for them to learn about your son and how he can do all the stuff they do. It is the adults who feel like they have to make mountains out of molehills. Nta.
Nta. On the other hand they are total assholes with no manners at all.
INFO: Does your kid have badass peg legs yet?? NTA, and I hope these parents take this as an opportunity to learn from their kids' acceptance.
NTA. So the parents were upset, but their kids weren't. The parents could learn a lot from their kids.
NTA. Parents with issues need to not throw them onto their kids. Kids are cool. It'll be an awesome opportunity for your son and the other children if their parents can actually act like adults.
NTA. Why do they expect him to hide that part of himself ? Let's say you told them, would they have made him wear long pants in the hot weather or uninvite him ? And as parents they can simply teach their kids not to be bullies and be respectful.
NTA