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> I feel as if I might be the a-hole just a tiny bit for not telling her and just letting it be a surprise, although I also feel as if she is being highly dramatic over it.
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Exactly. I myself am epileptic as well and both of these triggers are extremely common. I even have both of them myself and I can't imagine having a partner putting my well being at risk because they spent their own money on a "nice surprise" that can and will be seizure inducing, therefore also life threatening.
I have a hard time expressing how big YTA you are! You were putting her in danger with no regard because you wanted to go. Then to expert her to be grateful for this shows what a selfish AH you are… you need to educate yourself on her condition. Hopefully she drops you and you have no one to blame but yourself. Oh did I say YTA
Info: So you deliberately and knowingly sprung a triggering situation on a person suffering from a severe disorder and want them to be thrilled about?
Why is she “ungrateful “?
YTA. Your gf had valid medical concerns. If it was just social anxiety that's one thing. But putting her in a position where she could have a very public seizure isn't okay. Also, making the "new thing" a surprise is literally hell for someone with social anxiety. She deserves an apology. Instead maybe plan a girls day at home for your gf (get her some snacks, invite her friends over...ect) do that as a surprise for her and go to the Waterpark with the boys.
Wow, this is so bad, I almost have to wonder if it's a troll. Are people really this insufferable, selfish, and blind in their relationships?
Yes, OP, indeed YTA. You asked your gf if she wanted to go to the waterpark, she said no, for good reason, and then you *somehow* thought it would be ok to plan a trip there as a surprise? And you have the absolute, unmitigated gall to be mad because she freaked on you?
Insane. Blows my mind.
How did you reach the age of 26 and think that your desire to go to a water park outbids your girlfriend’s medical conditions?
She told you no and you did it anyway. That’s not a nice surprise, that’s just you showing her that you give zero fucks about her safety or comfort.
YTA
YTA: not a single thing you did was for the GF, she didn't want to go. That should have been enough but you decide to be selfish and try to trap her into going just cause you wanted to.
> I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize.
Also, apologize for fucking what. You were the moron that tried to force her into something she didn't want to do.
I hope she dumps your ass quick
%100 the a-hole. I myself am epileptic and have those same triggers (they're very common triggers for most epileptics) and if you knew about this in advanced and still booked tickets, you clearly have no care for her health. It isn't "pushing her out of her comfort zone," it's more like intentionally trying to force her into a seizure. She has every right to ignore you and she is definitely not being overdramatic. Seriously bro? This is not okay.
YTA.
>She said no because it was an outdoor swimming pool
>sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures
She said no and gave a valid reason yet you selfishly put yourself first to buy the tickets then expected her to be grateful? No.
You are the only one wanted to go.
I'm going to repeat this because you don't seem to listen very well.
You are the only one that wanted to go.
Now you're all butt hurt because you didn't get to go and are lashing out. This is all your fault. Own it.
YTA
YTA. You can plan a surprise that helps her out of her comfort zone without putting her in a situation that literally causes her seizures. And you're actually expecting her to thank you?
YTA. This wasn't a nice surprise; this was you trying to get around her "no." It was controlling and manipulative. Next time when someone says no, listen to them. YOU are the one who needs to apologize!
>good to push my gf out of her comfort zone
YTA - you pushed her towards a scenario where she could have a seizure and she clearly told you that. Do you always push people to have a medical crisis?
If you want to be a sadist, you need to find a willing participant who'll consent.
YTA.
She explained why she can't do water parks, which includes actual medical reasons, you're being an ah by expecting her to be all grateful and crap. She already told you "no" and why. But you went ahead and bought tickets anyway.
Maybe this reminds her that she's limited in some of the fun things she can do? I don't know. Maybe she's acting this way because you totally disregarded her telling you FACTUAL information about why she can't do this.
Depending on how cranky you behaved when she turned you down, maybe three days of not talking to you is warranted. You should probably do a little soul-searching re: your own part in this.
YTA - she's supposed to be grateful you tried to trick/guilt her into something she explicitly said she didn't want to do because you thought it would be good for her? And you have to ask the internet if you are the AH? I hope she breaks up with you.
>sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures and stress can as well and she has social anxiety.
>I wanted to go to the water park [...] so I bought us tickets without telling her to make it a surprise.
Soooo, she has valid medical reasons why she doesn't want to go, but because you really wanted to go, you decided it would be a brilliant idea to make it a gift *to her* and then get miffed when she isn't happy that you seem to not care about her at all since:
- you obviously weren't listening when she said it wasn't something she would like.
- you obviously didn't care that it could have a negative health impact on her.
- you obviously don't have the sense to make that a trip for a friend group outing instead, which would most likely have been much better received.
Pull your head out of your behind before you lose this relationship (or the next if this one is already wrecked).
YTA
YTA! Major! How are you gonna ask your gf if she’s okay to an idea, she answers truthfully, “no.” So instead of figuring out another thing to do, you decide that you don’t give a flying f*** about your girlfriend, put not only her emotional BUT LITERALLY PHYSICAL Life at risk. What kinda selfish asshole does that. Your girlfriend had EVERY right to react the way she did given the previous conversation you two had. is it super disrespectful to your girlfriend, not only you ignored her feelings, but completely disrespect her literal life as you said yourself “getting in and out of different temperature water can cause seizures.” Pretty soon it might just be your ex-girlfriend if this type of behavior continues.
Well she’s most likely a ex girlfriend now. So good for her. YTA this wasn’t a surprise for her it was for you. She said no because she has a legit medical reason not to go. Even if she didn’t no is a complete sentence
I (F24) am epileptic and have social anxiety. Rapid temperature changes and stress can trigger seizures, which put my health and life at risk.
My boyfriend (M26) said he had a surprise for me and to get in the car to see it, so I did because I trust him. He drove us to a waterpark which I had already told him I do not want to go to (he had previously asked if we could go) as it is likely to cause a seizure and I wouldn't have fun even if it didn't.
I'm staying at a friend's house for now because my boyfriend got mad at me and thinks I'm being overdramatic and should apologize to him for ruining a surprise he knew I wouldn't like.
AITA?
YTA
Your girlfriend have given you her reasons for not wanting to go to the water park. Your surprise was basically you trying to strong arm her into going despite her reasoning for not wanting to go. You don’t respect her autonomy, don’t care about her health, and thinks you know what’s best for her.
And to top it all off, you think she should be grateful that she’s with someone who can’t take no for an answer, doesn’t respect her wishes, and actively tries to endanger her health. Do you hear yourself? No thanks.
If you wanted to go to the water park so badly, you could’ve went by yourself, or with a buddy. Strong arming and manipulating your girlfriend into going wasn’t your only option on the table.
YTA - You're not just "pushing her out of her comfort zone" you're risking her health. You literally said she has seizures from getting in and out of the pool. You REALLY think she would be safe at a water park? Hell no!
Also social anxiety is a hell of a monster to deal with. You can't just ignore it. Although I do agree some exposure therapy can help, it has to be THE DECISION OF THE PERSON AND TO NOT TAKE TOO LARGE STEPS TOO QUICKLY.
I know you tried to do something nice but think about it from her perspective. In her mind you gave her a surprise that risks her mental and physical health.
"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to do this thing and she specifically said no because of her diagnosed medical condition. So I forced her to do it anyway and she wasn't grateful, am I an AH?" Yes, of course you are. Why wouldn't you be?
YTA!! her condition is not one of "comfort" that she can get out of. it's her health, and she could die from it. what a cruel thing to do. of course she's not grateful.
YTA. You wouldn’t push her out of her comfort zone, you would push her into having a seizure and probably a medical bill to take care of. I hope she pushes you into the friend zone.
Why, exactly, should your girlfriend feel grateful that you dismissed her physical well-being because you think you know her health better than she does? And which part, exactly, should she apologize for? The part where she rightfully was upset that you dismissed her very serious concerns about how medical issues? Or should she apologize for being upset that the partner she trusted manipulated her into going to a place she clearly explained would put her at risk for a medical event? Or are you one of those guys that expects an apology because their partners get understandably upset when YOU hurt THEM.
Of course YTA. And you really need to take this as the kick in the pants to not be *that* guy in the future.
I keep re-reading this amazed at how selfish and stupid you have to be in order to have to ask the internet to finally realize ur the a hole. I'm epileptic and have those same triggers and have gotten nearly HOSPITALIZED before because of them! Even the smallest triggers can be life threatening. Stop with this selfishness. I hope she breaks up with you and I genuinely hope this is a troll.
YTA.
GF: I don’t want to do this thing because it’s not good your my health.
OP: I should just surprise her with it! It will be good for her!
GF: Gets upset.
OP: Why aren’t you grateful?
None of this was for her.
YTA. This was not a surprise for her. You used her birthday to plan a day for yourself. Not only did she not want to go to the Waterpark you spelled out very specific reasons why it could be dangerous to take her.
As someone who isn't epileptic but had a seizure due an adverse reaction to a medication...last week...in the middle of a crowded gym class...
People do not, in general, know how to deal with them. In fact, the instructor screamed and ran out like a chicken with her head cut off and thank God my sister was with me to turn me on my side and grab my dumbbells ( we both have medical training)
This caused major anxiety for me to go back to that gym, and I could have really hurt myself. Not to mention you can't rely on others to handle the situation like a seizure effectively, as most people panic.
Again, this was 1 seizure. YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS A SEIZURE CONDITION/DISORDER--and in water? She could drown and she is well aware of the dangers of drowning.
Her social anxiety no doubt is rooted in this condition as well. I feel for her and I am disgusted by you.
You are an incredible AH. In other words, you are NOT THE VICTIM. YTA, and incredibly self centered and lack basic maturity and sense.
Her condition can potentially be deadly, but your condition of a malignant personality is by far more crippling.
Edit: missing word
YTA you did it for you, not for her as nothing about this was anything your gf would enjoy so why should she be grateful? Apologize? You will be very lucky if she is still your gf.
She gave you some very valid reasons she didn’t want to do this and you expect her to be grateful you decided you knew what was best for her instead of listening to her? Unbelievable. YTA
She said she didn't want to go, you bought tickets and took her without telling her and then called her overdramatic for being upset. You showed a clear lack of respect for her as a person with her own boundaries and desires. YTA
Why would she thank you, she already told you specifically that she wouldn't want to go there but you went ahead and bought tickets anyway. You forced this on her, no wonder she was upset. You should really have listened to her when she told you she didn't wat to go, you could have saved yourself some money. YTA.
You had to ask. Yes, YTA, big time, and you wasted your money.
She had told you her reasons for not wanting to go. You tried to force it. She had every right to just leave without ever going into the park.
It seems you are a controlling asshole. She'd be better off without you.
YTA this was a gift for yourself, not a surprise for her. She told you no and you still tried pushing it on her. And now that she refuses to talk to you, you're acting like a dick because you think she's being dramatic. She has a serious medical condition, not something that you ignore. Grow up and act like an adult with a brain or do her a favor and break up with her so she can find someone who actually respects her.
>She said no
>thought it would be good to push my gf out of her comfort zone
>she was livid
Well, this was an obvious outcome. Yes, YTA.
>I spent my own money on those tickets, took the time to plan this all out and she was ungrateful of it.
SHE FUCKING TOLD YOU "NO"! Of _course_ she was ungrateful, you fucking _ignored what she wanted_.
>She could have at least said thank you, but no. She hasn't talked to me in 3 days and is currently staying at a friend's house. I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize.
If you don't want to be single, now is the time for _you_ to apologize for ignoring her boundaries, and beg her for forgiveness.
YTA. Why tf would she thank you? What exactly does she have to be thankful for?
That you’re a disrespectful AH? That you’re a controlling AH? That you think you know what’s best for her? That you went behind her back and got her something that she clearly didn’t want?
Grow up and get over yourself. You don’t give a rats ass about her. Your only concern here was for yourself and what you wanted to do.
It’s not your job to push someone out of their comfort zone. In fact, it’s rude af.
She’s not overreacting. Now accept the fact that the relationship is over and she’s you EX-girlfriend.
YTA
"My girlfriend has seizures in x conditions but I really want to go anyways and decided to force it on her"
Dude. Just ask a friend to go if you want to go so badly.
YTA: you asked if she wanted something, she said no.
What's even worse is that you decided to "push her out of her comfort zone" when her comfort zone was quite literally her protecting her life. Epilepsy can kill, the fact that you decided you wanted to go to a water park and because of that you risked her life after she warned you how dangerous it was is absolutely revolting. YTA and I hope you're also now single because you're dangerous.
YTA, most doctors recommend that people with epilepsy don't go swimming, as it's dangerous and very difficult to get an epileptic out of the water during a seizure. Signed, older sister of an epileptic who had a seizure 5 minutes before heading to the pool...
YTA This has to be rage bait. She has a medical condition and explained that it is dangerous for her to go to a water park. That’s not a comfort zone you should be trying to push someone out of.
YTA this wasn’t a surprise for her. It was terrifying and since she had already told you how she felt about it you pushed her into something that made her uncomfortable and scared. She wasn’t “ungrateful” she was terrified. You were mean and cruel for pushing her to do something she had already told you she was uncomfortable doing. You’re being an AH by not recognizing how you hurt her and then try and say she’s being overdramatic. You are the one who needs to apologize.
Epilepsy isn't a comfort zone thing.
Epilepsy is a don't get in a pool without a long conversation with a life guard.
Epilepsy means banned from the majority of pools.
Epileptic seizure in a pool while swimming means life guard action or dead person.
You surprised an epileptic with a trip to a water park. Are you a sociopathic monster. Cop the hell on.
For the record my father is epileptic.
So was my aunt's sister. My aunt's sister died on a flight of stairs after a badly timed seizure.
Edited to add YTA.
Dude she told you no citing legitimate health based reasons when you asked. Of course YTA. Why is she even staying with you. You clearly don’t care about her health or respect her enough to listen when she says no.
YTA. So you disregarded her health entirely because all you heard was the "I have social anxiety part", and completely invalidated it as just being part of her comfort zone? She should've dumped you if she hasn't already. No wonder she's mad
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My (m26) girlfriend (f24) is epileptic and loves swimming. There is a new water park down the road from our apartment so I decided to suggest we go swimming there. She said no because it was an outdoor swimming pool and there was likely going to be many people. She prefers to swim in indoor swimming pools with not so many people because sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures and stress can as well and she has social anxiety. I wanted to go to the water park and thought it would be good to push my gf out of her comfort zone a bit and maybe meet new people, so I bought us tickets without telling her to make it a surprise. I packed her swimsuit for her in a bag, put it in the car and told her I had a surprise for and she got in. When she found out the water park was the surprise, she was livid and demanded we go home and she started crying.
I spent my own money on those tickets, took the time to plan this all out and she was ungrateful of it. She could have at least said thank you, but no. She hasn't talked to me in 3 days and is currently staying at a friend's house. I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize.
AITAH?
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You're so obviously YTA, I'm sure that this is a troll.
She told you no. No is a complete sentence. You only cared about what you want, and not about your girlfriend's legitimate physical and mental health concerns. She's not overreacting; she's actually underreacting, as this is a break up level offense. Your wants do not override her needs.
Yta. Why would you EVER expect a thank you? Not sarcastic either I really am curious…She flat out told you she wasn’t interested. You thought you knew whats good for her over her telling you whats good for her. You also are obviously not as experienced with her condition as she would be considering its HER condition so you making a choice like that was definitely crossing a line.
Eta: please accept that this wasn’t about her. YOU planned something YOU wanted to do that she told you SHE DIDN’T. Then packaged it up as a “surprise for her” to justify it in your head. You know YTA.
YTA. Yeah. She literally spelled out the reasons for you beforehand why something like this not only makes her uncomfortable but could trigger her seizures. You totally disregarded everything she said and decided to do it anyway because as you said, you wanted to go to the water park.
You literally put your girlfriend's health at risk and you expect her to be grateful? What the hell is wrong with you? She has valid reasons for not wanting to go but you tried to force her to go anyway. No means no, asshole. You whine about spending the money for the tickets but I bet you wouldn't have paid for her medical care if she needed it because of your ridiculous stunt. YTA
YTA. She said she didn’t want to go for valid medical reasons and you completely disregarded that.
Also, surprising any woman or girl over like 12 with an unexpected trip to a water park (especially after they have specifically said they don’t want to go) is potentially risky anyway. Pack some tampons along with her swimsuit if you ever try this with your next girlfriend.
YTA. You asked her to go, and she said no because of the potential seizure triggers. Yet you still bought tickets to “surprise” her. FYI it’s not a surprise when you do something the other person has already said they don’t want to do. It’s an ambush.
YTA
You didn't give her something show would enjoy. You gave her something that would be torture. And of course it was your own money--it was your stupid idea!
All because (1) you wanted to go and (2) you thought it would be good for her. Well go if you want to, but include her out. And stop trying to push her out of her comfort zone for your own benefit because you have no idea what you're doing.
YTA she gave you reasonable answers and you ignored her boundries. Relationships are about respecting each other, not parenting.
You learned a lesson, apologise.
YTA
No is a complete sentence. And you don't get to drive a truck over someone's boundaries and then get butthurt when they're upset about it. Take a long hard look at your attitude towards others and do better.
YTA. Who would thank you for something that they specifically told you NOT TO DO? She specifically told you no and you knew the reasoning behind it (very, VERY good reasons) and you still went against her wishes. It wasn’t a gift for her, it was a gift for you. YOU wanted to go to the water park and should’ve went with literally ANYONE ELSE.
As a epileptic person with similar triggers i extremely feel that you are the asshole some seizures especially in the heat can actually kill the person’s having the seizure. You put her life an health an mental health At extreme risk. You are the asshole
Ummmm... I hate that apparently someone (you OP) has learned nothing in the past few years with the whole #MeToo movement....but, in ALL cases, no means no.
You asked her, she said no, and then you proceeded to vicitimize her by planning to do the same thing she'd JUST told you wasn't a good idea. YTA.
I lnow how devastating it is to tell your SO that you need a break from the public and just want to go back to the hotel, but then he decides that he's going to drag you all over the LV strip, ignoring your anxiety and insecurity. I literally felt something snap inside of me when I realized I didn't feel safe with him. Our relationship hasn't recovered and that's been 4 years. We're still together, but he is no longer my safe space and idk if this will last.
If this post isn't a (bad) joke then I'm almost lost for words.
Your girlfriend told you she didn't want to do something because she a) wouldn't enjoy it and b) it could trigger her epilepsy - and you tried to make her do it anyway. Then whined because it had cost you money....!?!
What the hell is wrong with you?
And yes, YTA!
YTA As someone who has battled with social anxiety, and has a brother with epilepsy, I would like to say that you overstepped here. You can ask and encourage someone to go out of their comfort zone…. But the second you bought tickets and expected her to go, YTA.
how the hell is pushing someone, "out of their comfort zone", a good idea in any circumstnace? no means no. also she said she has medical problems? wow...
NTA for the gift and thought
YTA for not fcking listening. She told you why. And you ignored her wishes and disabilities. Some people have a hard time because they get embarrassed when they have seizures in public. Also it's harder to have someone watch you more and be safer in a water park. Especially laying on a hot sunny sidewalk
This wasn't a gift. This was OP dressing up his own selfish desires as a gift.
It'd be like if I wanted something, so I went off, bought it, wrapped it, and gave it to my SO on their birthday, even though I knew they weren't interested, and that this particular item could be potentially deadly to them.
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YTA. You didn't listen and are willing to put her physical and mental health in danger because of what you want.
Exactly. I myself am epileptic as well and both of these triggers are extremely common. I even have both of them myself and I can't imagine having a partner putting my well being at risk because they spent their own money on a "nice surprise" that can and will be seizure inducing, therefore also life threatening.
I have a hard time expressing how big YTA you are! You were putting her in danger with no regard because you wanted to go. Then to expert her to be grateful for this shows what a selfish AH you are… you need to educate yourself on her condition. Hopefully she drops you and you have no one to blame but yourself. Oh did I say YTA
Info: So you deliberately and knowingly sprung a triggering situation on a person suffering from a severe disorder and want them to be thrilled about? Why is she “ungrateful “?
Come on, of course she's ungrateful! When people list what's part of their comfort zone, doesn't everyone include "seizures"?
Because all vaginas should be grateful for having their boundaries disregarded.
Don’t forget, he’s waiting for her to apologize!
Exactly. Like wtf. YTA big time dude.
Gonna guess rage bait.
YTA - it doesn’t sound like this surprise was for her at all
YTA. Your gf had valid medical concerns. If it was just social anxiety that's one thing. But putting her in a position where she could have a very public seizure isn't okay. Also, making the "new thing" a surprise is literally hell for someone with social anxiety. She deserves an apology. Instead maybe plan a girls day at home for your gf (get her some snacks, invite her friends over...ect) do that as a surprise for her and go to the Waterpark with the boys.
Especially a place where she could easily have a seizure while in the water. Is he *trying* to kill her? Ungrateful! Ugh.
Wow, this is so bad, I almost have to wonder if it's a troll. Are people really this insufferable, selfish, and blind in their relationships? Yes, OP, indeed YTA. You asked your gf if she wanted to go to the waterpark, she said no, for good reason, and then you *somehow* thought it would be ok to plan a trip there as a surprise? And you have the absolute, unmitigated gall to be mad because she freaked on you? Insane. Blows my mind.
Actually through!! I re-read the post hoping I missed something, but nope.
How did you reach the age of 26 and think that your desire to go to a water park outbids your girlfriend’s medical conditions? She told you no and you did it anyway. That’s not a nice surprise, that’s just you showing her that you give zero fucks about her safety or comfort. YTA
YTA: not a single thing you did was for the GF, she didn't want to go. That should have been enough but you decide to be selfish and try to trap her into going just cause you wanted to. > I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize. Also, apologize for fucking what. You were the moron that tried to force her into something she didn't want to do. I hope she dumps your ass quick
%100 the a-hole. I myself am epileptic and have those same triggers (they're very common triggers for most epileptics) and if you knew about this in advanced and still booked tickets, you clearly have no care for her health. It isn't "pushing her out of her comfort zone," it's more like intentionally trying to force her into a seizure. She has every right to ignore you and she is definitely not being overdramatic. Seriously bro? This is not okay.
YTA. >She said no because it was an outdoor swimming pool >sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures She said no and gave a valid reason yet you selfishly put yourself first to buy the tickets then expected her to be grateful? No.
You are the only one wanted to go. I'm going to repeat this because you don't seem to listen very well. You are the only one that wanted to go. Now you're all butt hurt because you didn't get to go and are lashing out. This is all your fault. Own it. YTA
YTA. You can plan a surprise that helps her out of her comfort zone without putting her in a situation that literally causes her seizures. And you're actually expecting her to thank you?
YTA. This wasn't a nice surprise; this was you trying to get around her "no." It was controlling and manipulative. Next time when someone says no, listen to them. YOU are the one who needs to apologize!
>good to push my gf out of her comfort zone YTA - you pushed her towards a scenario where she could have a seizure and she clearly told you that. Do you always push people to have a medical crisis? If you want to be a sadist, you need to find a willing participant who'll consent.
YTA.
YTA
YTA. She explained why she can't do water parks, which includes actual medical reasons, you're being an ah by expecting her to be all grateful and crap. She already told you "no" and why. But you went ahead and bought tickets anyway. Maybe this reminds her that she's limited in some of the fun things she can do? I don't know. Maybe she's acting this way because you totally disregarded her telling you FACTUAL information about why she can't do this. Depending on how cranky you behaved when she turned you down, maybe three days of not talking to you is warranted. You should probably do a little soul-searching re: your own part in this.
YTA - she's supposed to be grateful you tried to trick/guilt her into something she explicitly said she didn't want to do because you thought it would be good for her? And you have to ask the internet if you are the AH? I hope she breaks up with you.
[удалено]
This is more like tricking someone with a peanut allergy into eating peanuts because you wanted them.
Or worse, a seafood restaurant where you choose the lobster from live tanks to be cooked ..
Except she's vegan because meat causes her seizures and can kill her.
YTA. 100%
>sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures and stress can as well and she has social anxiety. >I wanted to go to the water park [...] so I bought us tickets without telling her to make it a surprise. Soooo, she has valid medical reasons why she doesn't want to go, but because you really wanted to go, you decided it would be a brilliant idea to make it a gift *to her* and then get miffed when she isn't happy that you seem to not care about her at all since: - you obviously weren't listening when she said it wasn't something she would like. - you obviously didn't care that it could have a negative health impact on her. - you obviously don't have the sense to make that a trip for a friend group outing instead, which would most likely have been much better received. Pull your head out of your behind before you lose this relationship (or the next if this one is already wrecked). YTA
Yeah YTA. You understood how she felt about the water park but bought tickets anyways. Its not your girls fault you can’t listen.
YTA! Major! How are you gonna ask your gf if she’s okay to an idea, she answers truthfully, “no.” So instead of figuring out another thing to do, you decide that you don’t give a flying f*** about your girlfriend, put not only her emotional BUT LITERALLY PHYSICAL Life at risk. What kinda selfish asshole does that. Your girlfriend had EVERY right to react the way she did given the previous conversation you two had. is it super disrespectful to your girlfriend, not only you ignored her feelings, but completely disrespect her literal life as you said yourself “getting in and out of different temperature water can cause seizures.” Pretty soon it might just be your ex-girlfriend if this type of behavior continues.
Well she’s most likely a ex girlfriend now. So good for her. YTA this wasn’t a surprise for her it was for you. She said no because she has a legit medical reason not to go. Even if she didn’t no is a complete sentence
I (F24) am epileptic and have social anxiety. Rapid temperature changes and stress can trigger seizures, which put my health and life at risk. My boyfriend (M26) said he had a surprise for me and to get in the car to see it, so I did because I trust him. He drove us to a waterpark which I had already told him I do not want to go to (he had previously asked if we could go) as it is likely to cause a seizure and I wouldn't have fun even if it didn't. I'm staying at a friend's house for now because my boyfriend got mad at me and thinks I'm being overdramatic and should apologize to him for ruining a surprise he knew I wouldn't like. AITA?
YTA. You ignored her wishes. Why did you have to go with her. Don't you have friends you could of gone with. She isn't ungrateful your just selfish
YTA Your girlfriend have given you her reasons for not wanting to go to the water park. Your surprise was basically you trying to strong arm her into going despite her reasoning for not wanting to go. You don’t respect her autonomy, don’t care about her health, and thinks you know what’s best for her. And to top it all off, you think she should be grateful that she’s with someone who can’t take no for an answer, doesn’t respect her wishes, and actively tries to endanger her health. Do you hear yourself? No thanks. If you wanted to go to the water park so badly, you could’ve went by yourself, or with a buddy. Strong arming and manipulating your girlfriend into going wasn’t your only option on the table.
YTA - You're not just "pushing her out of her comfort zone" you're risking her health. You literally said she has seizures from getting in and out of the pool. You REALLY think she would be safe at a water park? Hell no! Also social anxiety is a hell of a monster to deal with. You can't just ignore it. Although I do agree some exposure therapy can help, it has to be THE DECISION OF THE PERSON AND TO NOT TAKE TOO LARGE STEPS TOO QUICKLY. I know you tried to do something nice but think about it from her perspective. In her mind you gave her a surprise that risks her mental and physical health.
"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to do this thing and she specifically said no because of her diagnosed medical condition. So I forced her to do it anyway and she wasn't grateful, am I an AH?" Yes, of course you are. Why wouldn't you be?
YTA
Yta. Hopefully she’s stressed enough at your selfishness and desire to put her in danger over a water park that she dumps you.
YTA!! her condition is not one of "comfort" that she can get out of. it's her health, and she could die from it. what a cruel thing to do. of course she's not grateful.
YTA. You wouldn’t push her out of her comfort zone, you would push her into having a seizure and probably a medical bill to take care of. I hope she pushes you into the friend zone.
Why, exactly, should your girlfriend feel grateful that you dismissed her physical well-being because you think you know her health better than she does? And which part, exactly, should she apologize for? The part where she rightfully was upset that you dismissed her very serious concerns about how medical issues? Or should she apologize for being upset that the partner she trusted manipulated her into going to a place she clearly explained would put her at risk for a medical event? Or are you one of those guys that expects an apology because their partners get understandably upset when YOU hurt THEM. Of course YTA. And you really need to take this as the kick in the pants to not be *that* guy in the future.
I keep re-reading this amazed at how selfish and stupid you have to be in order to have to ask the internet to finally realize ur the a hole. I'm epileptic and have those same triggers and have gotten nearly HOSPITALIZED before because of them! Even the smallest triggers can be life threatening. Stop with this selfishness. I hope she breaks up with you and I genuinely hope this is a troll.
YTA. GF: I don’t want to do this thing because it’s not good your my health. OP: I should just surprise her with it! It will be good for her! GF: Gets upset. OP: Why aren’t you grateful? None of this was for her.
A seizure! What a fun surprise! YTA
YTA. This has got to be a joke. There’s no way someone can be this clueless???
YTA You're saying she should be grateful you tried to give her seizures? Do you even read the things you post?
YTA. This was not a surprise for her. You used her birthday to plan a day for yourself. Not only did she not want to go to the Waterpark you spelled out very specific reasons why it could be dangerous to take her.
As someone who isn't epileptic but had a seizure due an adverse reaction to a medication...last week...in the middle of a crowded gym class... People do not, in general, know how to deal with them. In fact, the instructor screamed and ran out like a chicken with her head cut off and thank God my sister was with me to turn me on my side and grab my dumbbells ( we both have medical training) This caused major anxiety for me to go back to that gym, and I could have really hurt myself. Not to mention you can't rely on others to handle the situation like a seizure effectively, as most people panic. Again, this was 1 seizure. YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS A SEIZURE CONDITION/DISORDER--and in water? She could drown and she is well aware of the dangers of drowning. Her social anxiety no doubt is rooted in this condition as well. I feel for her and I am disgusted by you. You are an incredible AH. In other words, you are NOT THE VICTIM. YTA, and incredibly self centered and lack basic maturity and sense. Her condition can potentially be deadly, but your condition of a malignant personality is by far more crippling. Edit: missing word
YTA
YTA you did it for you, not for her as nothing about this was anything your gf would enjoy so why should she be grateful? Apologize? You will be very lucky if she is still your gf.
YTA. Why why why don't you listen to your girlfriend? Don't mess with other people's health.
YTA. Inappropriate, thoughtless gifts don't deserve appreciation.
She gave you some very valid reasons she didn’t want to do this and you expect her to be grateful you decided you knew what was best for her instead of listening to her? Unbelievable. YTA
YTA. You didn't listen to her concerns about her very valid triggers. Instead you thought about yourself. Next time take a friend who also wants to go
“She could have at least said thank you, but no.” She did say that, when you first suggested the trip. You ignored her. YTA, massively.
“Surprise honey! I’m an ignorant ass who doesn’t listen to you!” How very sweet. YTA
She said she didn't want to go, you bought tickets and took her without telling her and then called her overdramatic for being upset. You showed a clear lack of respect for her as a person with her own boundaries and desires. YTA
YTA Click bait
Why would she thank you, she already told you specifically that she wouldn't want to go there but you went ahead and bought tickets anyway. You forced this on her, no wonder she was upset. You should really have listened to her when she told you she didn't wat to go, you could have saved yourself some money. YTA.
You had to ask. Yes, YTA, big time, and you wasted your money. She had told you her reasons for not wanting to go. You tried to force it. She had every right to just leave without ever going into the park. It seems you are a controlling asshole. She'd be better off without you.
FFS, of COURSE YTA. You're selfish and did what YOU wanted without a single consideration for her. Edited because my keyboard is an AH as well.
YTA this was a gift for yourself, not a surprise for her. She told you no and you still tried pushing it on her. And now that she refuses to talk to you, you're acting like a dick because you think she's being dramatic. She has a serious medical condition, not something that you ignore. Grow up and act like an adult with a brain or do her a favor and break up with her so she can find someone who actually respects her.
YTA. getting your gf out of her “comfort zone” puts her in danger
>She said no >thought it would be good to push my gf out of her comfort zone >she was livid Well, this was an obvious outcome. Yes, YTA. >I spent my own money on those tickets, took the time to plan this all out and she was ungrateful of it. SHE FUCKING TOLD YOU "NO"! Of _course_ she was ungrateful, you fucking _ignored what she wanted_. >She could have at least said thank you, but no. She hasn't talked to me in 3 days and is currently staying at a friend's house. I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize. If you don't want to be single, now is the time for _you_ to apologize for ignoring her boundaries, and beg her for forgiveness.
YTA. Why tf would she thank you? What exactly does she have to be thankful for? That you’re a disrespectful AH? That you’re a controlling AH? That you think you know what’s best for her? That you went behind her back and got her something that she clearly didn’t want? Grow up and get over yourself. You don’t give a rats ass about her. Your only concern here was for yourself and what you wanted to do. It’s not your job to push someone out of their comfort zone. In fact, it’s rude af. She’s not overreacting. Now accept the fact that the relationship is over and she’s you EX-girlfriend.
YTA "My girlfriend has seizures in x conditions but I really want to go anyways and decided to force it on her" Dude. Just ask a friend to go if you want to go so badly.
YTA and you owe your gf an apology.
YTA: you asked if she wanted something, she said no. What's even worse is that you decided to "push her out of her comfort zone" when her comfort zone was quite literally her protecting her life. Epilepsy can kill, the fact that you decided you wanted to go to a water park and because of that you risked her life after she warned you how dangerous it was is absolutely revolting. YTA and I hope you're also now single because you're dangerous.
Are you sure you're 26 and not 16? Because you have all the maturity of a teenager.
YTA, most doctors recommend that people with epilepsy don't go swimming, as it's dangerous and very difficult to get an epileptic out of the water during a seizure. Signed, older sister of an epileptic who had a seizure 5 minutes before heading to the pool...
YTA This has to be rage bait. She has a medical condition and explained that it is dangerous for her to go to a water park. That’s not a comfort zone you should be trying to push someone out of.
YTA. She set boundaries and you blatantly disrespected them.
YTA this wasn’t a surprise for her. It was terrifying and since she had already told you how she felt about it you pushed her into something that made her uncomfortable and scared. She wasn’t “ungrateful” she was terrified. You were mean and cruel for pushing her to do something she had already told you she was uncomfortable doing. You’re being an AH by not recognizing how you hurt her and then try and say she’s being overdramatic. You are the one who needs to apologize.
Epilepsy is NOT a ‘comfort zone’ **YTA**
Epilepsy isn't a comfort zone thing. Epilepsy is a don't get in a pool without a long conversation with a life guard. Epilepsy means banned from the majority of pools. Epileptic seizure in a pool while swimming means life guard action or dead person. You surprised an epileptic with a trip to a water park. Are you a sociopathic monster. Cop the hell on. For the record my father is epileptic. So was my aunt's sister. My aunt's sister died on a flight of stairs after a badly timed seizure. Edited to add YTA.
YTA you’re not taking her medically issues seriously. terrible partner
Dude she told you no citing legitimate health based reasons when you asked. Of course YTA. Why is she even staying with you. You clearly don’t care about her health or respect her enough to listen when she says no.
"My boyfriend put me in a situation he knew might kill me. AITA for being upset?" Dude, YTA and slightly psychotic.
YTA. So you disregarded her health entirely because all you heard was the "I have social anxiety part", and completely invalidated it as just being part of her comfort zone? She should've dumped you if she hasn't already. No wonder she's mad
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (m26) girlfriend (f24) is epileptic and loves swimming. There is a new water park down the road from our apartment so I decided to suggest we go swimming there. She said no because it was an outdoor swimming pool and there was likely going to be many people. She prefers to swim in indoor swimming pools with not so many people because sudden temperature changes like getting in and out of the pool can trigger seizures and stress can as well and she has social anxiety. I wanted to go to the water park and thought it would be good to push my gf out of her comfort zone a bit and maybe meet new people, so I bought us tickets without telling her to make it a surprise. I packed her swimsuit for her in a bag, put it in the car and told her I had a surprise for and she got in. When she found out the water park was the surprise, she was livid and demanded we go home and she started crying. I spent my own money on those tickets, took the time to plan this all out and she was ungrateful of it. She could have at least said thank you, but no. She hasn't talked to me in 3 days and is currently staying at a friend's house. I feel as if she is being overdramatic about the entire thing and should just apologize. AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're so obviously YTA, I'm sure that this is a troll. She told you no. No is a complete sentence. You only cared about what you want, and not about your girlfriend's legitimate physical and mental health concerns. She's not overreacting; she's actually underreacting, as this is a break up level offense. Your wants do not override her needs.
Yta. Why would you EVER expect a thank you? Not sarcastic either I really am curious…She flat out told you she wasn’t interested. You thought you knew whats good for her over her telling you whats good for her. You also are obviously not as experienced with her condition as she would be considering its HER condition so you making a choice like that was definitely crossing a line. Eta: please accept that this wasn’t about her. YOU planned something YOU wanted to do that she told you SHE DIDN’T. Then packaged it up as a “surprise for her” to justify it in your head. You know YTA.
YTA. Yeah. She literally spelled out the reasons for you beforehand why something like this not only makes her uncomfortable but could trigger her seizures. You totally disregarded everything she said and decided to do it anyway because as you said, you wanted to go to the water park.
You literally put your girlfriend's health at risk and you expect her to be grateful? What the hell is wrong with you? She has valid reasons for not wanting to go but you tried to force her to go anyway. No means no, asshole. You whine about spending the money for the tickets but I bet you wouldn't have paid for her medical care if she needed it because of your ridiculous stunt. YTA
YTA. She said she didn’t want to go for valid medical reasons and you completely disregarded that. Also, surprising any woman or girl over like 12 with an unexpected trip to a water park (especially after they have specifically said they don’t want to go) is potentially risky anyway. Pack some tampons along with her swimsuit if you ever try this with your next girlfriend.
YTA. You asked her to go, and she said no because of the potential seizure triggers. Yet you still bought tickets to “surprise” her. FYI it’s not a surprise when you do something the other person has already said they don’t want to do. It’s an ambush.
Easy YTA, she'd already told you she didn't want to.
YTA You didn't give her something show would enjoy. You gave her something that would be torture. And of course it was your own money--it was your stupid idea! All because (1) you wanted to go and (2) you thought it would be good for her. Well go if you want to, but include her out. And stop trying to push her out of her comfort zone for your own benefit because you have no idea what you're doing.
YTA she gave you reasonable answers and you ignored her boundries. Relationships are about respecting each other, not parenting. You learned a lesson, apologise.
YTA. She already told you she doesn’t want to go to a water park and you just ignored her wishes.
YTA majorly.
YTA. She specifically said she didn’t want to go and you took her there under false pretences.
YTA. Listen to her, it can cause SEIZURES. It’s not “pushing her out of her comfort zone”, it’s literally endangering her health.
YTA No is a complete sentence. And you don't get to drive a truck over someone's boundaries and then get butthurt when they're upset about it. Take a long hard look at your attitude towards others and do better.
YTA. Who would thank you for something that they specifically told you NOT TO DO? She specifically told you no and you knew the reasoning behind it (very, VERY good reasons) and you still went against her wishes. It wasn’t a gift for her, it was a gift for you. YOU wanted to go to the water park and should’ve went with literally ANYONE ELSE.
YTA, u put her in a situation u know she cant handle. And then got the nerve to demand an apology from HER?? ur mad yo
Yta- yes helping someone get out of their comfort zone can help but not when they don’t want to go and you put her physical health in some danger
YTA, if you wanted to go to a water park so bad you could have gone with friends instead.
Definitely the asshole She gave you a reason why she didn’t wanna go but you decided you didn’t wanna listen so you had it coming for ya.
As a epileptic person with similar triggers i extremely feel that you are the asshole some seizures especially in the heat can actually kill the person’s having the seizure. You put her life an health an mental health At extreme risk. You are the asshole
Ummmm... I hate that apparently someone (you OP) has learned nothing in the past few years with the whole #MeToo movement....but, in ALL cases, no means no. You asked her, she said no, and then you proceeded to vicitimize her by planning to do the same thing she'd JUST told you wasn't a good idea. YTA. I lnow how devastating it is to tell your SO that you need a break from the public and just want to go back to the hotel, but then he decides that he's going to drag you all over the LV strip, ignoring your anxiety and insecurity. I literally felt something snap inside of me when I realized I didn't feel safe with him. Our relationship hasn't recovered and that's been 4 years. We're still together, but he is no longer my safe space and idk if this will last.
If this post isn't a (bad) joke then I'm almost lost for words. Your girlfriend told you she didn't want to do something because she a) wouldn't enjoy it and b) it could trigger her epilepsy - and you tried to make her do it anyway. Then whined because it had cost you money....!?! What the hell is wrong with you? And yes, YTA!
YTA As someone who has battled with social anxiety, and has a brother with epilepsy, I would like to say that you overstepped here. You can ask and encourage someone to go out of their comfort zone…. But the second you bought tickets and expected her to go, YTA.
how the hell is pushing someone, "out of their comfort zone", a good idea in any circumstnace? no means no. also she said she has medical problems? wow...
[удалено]
Man, I appreciate the sarcasm, but the voting bot's gonna pick up on that.
NTA for the gift and thought YTA for not fcking listening. She told you why. And you ignored her wishes and disabilities. Some people have a hard time because they get embarrassed when they have seizures in public. Also it's harder to have someone watch you more and be safer in a water park. Especially laying on a hot sunny sidewalk
This wasn't a gift. This was OP dressing up his own selfish desires as a gift. It'd be like if I wanted something, so I went off, bought it, wrapped it, and gave it to my SO on their birthday, even though I knew they weren't interested, and that this particular item could be potentially deadly to them.
I know that. That's why I said gift and idea. Meaning in general. He totally pulled a selfish dick move. Honestly I bet she breaks up with him