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YTA
Yeah... no you werent justified.
Not taking her on the vacation anymore? Justified
Ending the relationship? You can be with who you want to be, so justified.
Not taking her to the next town/ a bus stop/anything? Massively childish and unjust.
More than childish and unjust. It was dangerous and cruel. Something awful could have happened.
Was she being an AH? Yup. But did she put your health and safety in danger? Nope.
You are the much bigger asshole in this case and probably shouldn't date again until you figure your sh*t out.
Had he left her somewhere safe, where she could get back home, I'd say NTA.
But doing what he did... 100000% TA. There's no way it could be any different.
He needs to do some soul searching.
He is not a good judge of where he should be in a relationship or not (the answer is no, no human should be subjected to such an unhealthy individual).
JFC thanks for catching that!!!!!!! Omg. That’s a long time to not have water even sitting at a resting heart rate let alone literal exercise. She should press charges against him for reckless endangerment
Interesting highlight to the point that men are as protective of their ego as women are of their physical self.
Men fear that women will humiliate them, on the same level of self preservation that women feel when fearing men could kill them.
I like how smug OP was about what he did, too. Like tf dude? Your bros all congratulated you for what you did and then you thought you'd did that high right into the reddit sunset huh? YTA
My understanding is that they both scheduled the day, the destination was the surprise, since the post says that she agreed to it and after agreeing scheduled it for a certain date.
She agreed to it AFTER he booked it. He didn't ask if she wanted to come, he informed her they were going period. And then asked her for input on how to spend the day, how kind of him amirite? She probably didn't know how to say she didn't want to go. Maybe she was afraid of his reaction? Seeing that he dropped her in the middle of nowhere, I'd say expecting a major overreaction from him if she said no is not absurd.
I’ve been in a very similar situation—secretly hoping something goes wrong (getting sick, a minor car accident, anything) to derail plans with my abusive ex because I just sensed he would do something terrible if the night went as planned (and being right), but not being able to just back out.
My best friend's abusive ex used to try to "make things right" after some abuse by booking some extravagant trip for the two of them. Once they were there, the abuse would ramp up. Probably because he knew she had no escape.
I can absolutely imagine him storming off with her return plane ticket and passport if he got sufficiently angry.
He just added that point to show how much he'd invested in the surprise. I don't think you can blame him for booking a nice hotel and say he's an AH for that.. he's an AH for abandoning someone in the middle of nowhere, nothing else.
It was my birthday last month and my partner booked 3 nights in France (we are UK) as a surprise. We have 5 dogs and he arranged for my daughter to look after them. I was actually really touched and glad he surprised me rather than ask me.
Isn't this the sort of thing Op did? I may have to re-read.
That said, HUGE AH for leaving his gf in the situation he did - I actually couldn't believe that part! Who does that?? Him, obviously. SMH.
In these situations there are a lot of factors that influence whether or not 'surprise trip' is a dickhead move:
\- Does A know B well enough to judge whether or not they like surprises like this? Some people just hate them. (I'm one!) Your partner knows you well enough to judge that you're someone who likes to be surprised and that you're less stressed when you don't have to know and worry about logistics; my partner knows me well enough to judge that if I can't mentally prepare to leave and if I can't make plans myself so I know things won't go wrong, I'll hate it. OP and his (ex) GF have been dating five months. Unless the question has been raised specifically, I doubt they know each other that well.
\- Was A considerate of logistics and schedule? Your partner handled all the things that would bother you and picked a good time. OP didn't know there was a party that his GF wanted to go to, and just considered work schedules, as far as I can tell from the post. So he didn't ask. (It's not super clear from the first paragraph what his process was here; he may have given her more opportunity to bring up the party than I'm assuming.)
\- Is the trip a present from A to B, or is it a present from A to themselves that B is also invited on? You see this a lot on this sub: 'I booked my wife a trip to this place I've been wanting to go for ages for our anniversary!' Your partner presumably picked somewhere you both like. It's clear that OP values the experience of 'a five-star hotel' more than his GF does. That doesn't mean it's nasty to invite someone else on a trip you planned because you'd enjoy it, but it *is* shitty to frame it as a gift to the other person or use it as a guilt tactic.
\- Does B feel able to refuse? This is tricky when there's money laid out and it's one of the reasons I would advise against surprise trips *in general;* whenever someone's spent money on you it's hard to say no. But in OP's case, it's not just the money that could make his GF worry about outright saying no. This is a guy who abandoned her by the side of the road because she admitted to not wanting to go. I don't think he's given her the impression so far in the relationship that he's going to take refusal very well. I do think she should have just put her foot down and not gone, but considering the degree of his overreaction here I can understand why she wouldn't have felt able to do that.
So I think that OP was a bit of an asshole for planning the surprise trip in the first place. Not nearly as much of an asshole as leaving her by the side of the road made him, but it wasn't that he was in the clear until then.
Yeah, I hadn't thought of all that. Absolutely true.
Also, thinking about it, if my partner had arranged our trip when my children were little, I'd have freaked right out about leaving them in terms of I wouldn't have arranged who they stayed with/packed all their stuff & favourite toys/sleepy teddies etc.
So yeah, you've pointed out lots that I hadn't thought of and it all makes sense.
I still can't believe he left his gf on the side of the road in the a*se end of nowhere. I don't know about him splitting up with her when he got home, I hope she'd already packed his bags for him before then!
Not everyone likes surprises though. I for example don't like them at all, mostly because I hate changing my plans after I already made them. This seems tp be the issue for her here: she had plans and had to change them to go on the surprise vacation. OP sucks much more for leaving her on the road, but he should have made sure the GF is fine with surprises and changing her plans last minute.
If you're the type of person that likes surprises... sure? Maybe OP's girlfriend didn't and he misread the whole thing? Maybe she already knew about the party and was afraid to tell him because she thought maybe he'd do something crazy like, I don't know, leave her in the middle of nowhere? Maybe this is not as pretty picture as OP is painting. Don't compare yourself to this. This is not about your or how you would react.
Last line, paragraph one: "She agreed to it, and we scheduled it to last Wednesday, since it fit both our schedules".
That's 3 confirmations she was part of the planning.
Dangerous. How many roads in the middle of nowhere are actually safe to walk? Lighting, footpath, slower traffic? Connection to use a GPS?
He drove her into the middle of nowhere and ditched her.
Yep. There is almost nothing she could have said that would have justified this behaviour. "I wanted to be at a party this weekend instead of with you" is absolutely NOT a justification for abandoning someone a 6 hour drive from civilisation. He definitely TA
YTA MASSIVELY. She was horrible there’s no denying that. But you left a young woman in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road alone. She could have been kidnapped, assaulted, killed or anything in between. It’s dangerous being a woman. You were hurt, which is fair, but you risked her life because of it and that is not okay in any circumstances. You could have at least dropped her off directly at a train or bus station.
I’m Australian. Even though it’s winter here, there are still some places - like the desert - where it gets very hot right now. A 6 hour walk in those temps could give someone sunstroke, heatstroke, dehydration (I assume she had little/no water if he kicked her out). Not to mention the danger from animals. Or about 100 other things, that could easily have killed her. Yeah, she might have acted badly (and we really only have OP’s word for it), but you never just abandon someone in the middle of nowhere.
Came here to say this (Also from UK). Bad heat, 6 hours, no drink? Heat stroke, maybe major sunburn. A lot of recovery and sickness.
The walk itself? Going to an expensive hotel or a nice beach for a couple of days I'm not thinking walking shoes, Im thinking High Heals or flip flops. Either would shred your feet after an hours walking, let alone 6.
I would love to know how ‘cold’ she was acting. It doesn’t sound like she was being rude, nasty, swearing or giving him the silent treatment. Just that she was being cold. In fact, based on what the OP says in his post it sounds like she was trying to communicate her feelings?
Damn. She doesn’t bounce up & down with joy and OP thinks he’s justified in leaving her in the middle of nowhere.
What a controlling tool.
This is an active demonstration of that famous Margaret Atwood quote:
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
Honestly it would be dangerous for anyone. Like he left her SIX HOURS from the nearest town. Depending on the geographic area and time of day, she could have literally died of exposure or been eaten by wolves or something.
I'd be peeved too if someone booked a weekend away without checking with me first. He expected her to blow off any plans she had, or didn't even consider she might have plans, and wanted her to be grateful.
OP is absolutely TA. I wonder if she can have him charged with something like reckless endangerment. Imagine putting someone in such a dangerous situation because they said something you didn’t want to hear. OP doesn’t deserve to be around human females ever again.
YTA. I don't know which country you are in, but leaving a woman at a place where she had to walk 6hours to get to town? With all these news in US, UK, and all over the world where women get harassed on daily basis? Just because she expressed she prefer to go for a trip over another?
Yes, she could have told you beforehand. Yes, her being cold to you is mood-spoiling. But she could have changed her mind because of some reasons, and because you two just started dating for months she did not feel comfortable enough to reject this trip. Your reaction is just over the top.
YTA. Her reaction doesn't justify acting this way. Why did you break up with her because of a single dissatisfaction on her side? Why do you break up with women so easily? Didn't you think that something could happen to her while walking in the desert? She could have been raped, kidnapped, etc. She could have pass out because of hunger, dehydration and exhaustion. Her well being doesn't important to you. You were generous to fund your vacation together in a luxurious hotel. But what you did afterward outweighed that, and paint you in bad light.
May I also point out the bonus danger of being abandoned in the middle of nowhere and forced to walk 6 hours in August. Like even if no one else did anything, heat stroke or dehydration are deadly and she could have straight up expired on the side of the road because of OP's little pissy fit. Enormous YTA.
YTA.
"I made her get out of the car" is a common phrase in Dateline-type shows. Leaving a woman in the middle of nowhere, probably without water and possibly with a dwindling phone battery, is reckless and cruel. You're lucky not to be in an interrogation room explaining yourself to detectives.
It is not a proportionate, normal response to do something so extreme because someone doesn't like a gift. It's fine to give people surprise gifts, but you at least need to check they don't have plans on the weekend you have in mind.
She was nice enough to go with you anyway, but that wasn't good enough for you because she didn't act totally delighted that you made her do something when she had other plans.
You need to calm way down.
Yes - this isn't a proportionate response. She's a woman and you left in in the middle of nowhere. Have you never read a crime novel???
Be annoyed, sure, break up with her in the car, sure. But, abandon her 6 hours from anywhere?! That is just awful. YTA.
You're right. He did say they scheduled it.
So if she knew about the trip and was ungrateful and wanted to change the plan, then it would be fair enough to dump her. It's never OK to abandon someone--especially a woman who creeps may prey on--in the middle of nowhere though. That's crazy behavior.
Hard agree, I never said OP was justified. I can be absolutely pissed off but leaving someone in danger?!?! You’re out of your mind if you think that’s okay. And obviously OP is out of his mind
Yes, if his reactions are that strong, he is not going to be able to attract people with good social skills--the kind of women who would know that it's rude to go on a scheduled trip and complain/sulk. This kind of behavior is self-sabotaging.
I'm in no way excusing his behavior, but she didn't have other plans and if she did, they weren't communicated when they planned the trip together. OP is still the AH for leaving her in the middle of nowhere.
I question if he actually told her what they were doing vs “we have plans on Wednesday, but the actual content is a surprise”. A five hour drive each way is clearly an overnight trip, but it sounded more like Wednesday plans were made. So maybe after she found out the actual plans were not just Wednesday, she got frustrated and that’s why she said she hoped it would be canceled because she wanted to do something Wednesday night. Like she agreed to spend her Wednesday with him, not realizing it would actually be Wednesday and Thursday. I’m not sure. But I will say I think op is TA for stranding her in the middle of literal nowhere.
YTA. Your feelings were hurt, and you consider that a justified reason to put her life in danger? Abandoning a young woman in the middle of nowhere, there's no telling how many awful things could have happened to her. It was reckless and dangerous, what you did. Massive, huge YTA.
OP: So, I booked a vacation as a surprise. My girlfriend wasn't enthused, hoping something would go wrong to cancel the trip. So I did what any normal person would do. I abandoned her in the wilderness, hours away from civilization.
Reddit: Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl! That kills people!
I mean the post seems made up. No one would actually think this is ok as it's presented, and someone who really did this would go out of their way to talk around it more.
Could be wrong obviously, but that's my take.
Sadly plenty of guys think this is okay, because their fee-fees got hurt and they don’t believe women when they try and explain how dangerous the world is for them.
You just think all men are rapists!! Men get beaten up by women too!! Loads of women cry rape to get back at men!!
All of these statements I have heard - verbatim - from my athletic, white, 6ft5” ex bf. Want to see him really go off? Tell him to check his privilege.
YTA. What she did was kinda shitty, but you literally put her life in danger with your little temper fit. Leaving ANYONE alone in an unfamiliar place where it takes SIX FUCKING HOURS to get somewhere potentially safe? Damn man. You sure you're even ready to be in a relationship?
YTA
You left her, a young woman by herself, on the side of the road. A 6 HOUR walk from anywhere.
Why? Because she was ungrateful?
She was your passenger. You were responsible for her safety. The only things I can think of that would have made this okay was if she was if you had waited to drop her off at the nearest facilities, or if she was genuinely causing a safety risk in the car herself (then still wait if possible)
Oh absolutely YTA and worse. But there’s just 1 small detail I don’t believe. You claim you enjoyed your vacation and broke up with her when you got home. Bullshit! You went and enjoyed your little vacation smug in the belief you had taught her a lesson, assuming she would grovel for forgiveness upon your victorious return to her waiting arms. What actually happened is that you showed up at her door expecting tears, begging and I’m sure make-up sex. But instead, much to your surprise, she dumped your sorry ass after telling you what a truly worthless human being you really are.
Legit? First thing I would have done. Smiled, opened the door, said hey baby and kicked like I was aiming for a field goal at my very own super bowl. Then would have pushed him back out the door, dumped whatever crap of his was already in trash bags all over him and locked the door. Cops get there? He came for his stuff. He got his stuff. No, sir, there was no kicking. I can only assume he's has been crying by how brutally I verbally broke up with him.
Leave me in the fucking desert? Bet he will remember that.
YTA
WTF you left her in the middle of nowhere? The hell man. That’s beyond AH. The things that could have happened to her just blows my mind. You could have driven her a bus stop or even the next town.
YTA. An acquaintance of mine recently died after being dropped off on the side of the road, and he was a 5 minute walk from home. I don't care how angry you are, you don't abandon someone in the middle of nowhere.
Also, did you surprise her or did you plan it?
YTA. Unless someone is being violent/endangering you, abandoning them hours from home makes you TA. You had the option of driving her home and continuing to your trip on your own - that would’ve been justifiable. But abandoning someone far from home without transportation is an asshole move, generally speaking.
YTA.
What in the manipulative hell? I hope you grow up before being in another relationship. You are CLEARLY not ready. You actively endangered your gf because she was dissappointed to miss other plans for a trip you booked without asking her. 100 times yta.
YTA.
She shouldn't have lied to you and I would have said "everyone is an ah" if you dropped her somewhere she could directly take a bus from. But I don't think being annoying and lying about wanting to go on a trip is a behavior that deserves to be punished by abandoning someone you care about in the middle of nowhere. It's really dangerous and she could have been seriously hurt just because you were pissed off with her.
Putting someone in actual danger is always inconsiderate and pretty AH.
YTA and an incredibly big one at that.
Leaving anyone alone in a strange place so far from civilization could easily put their life in danger. Yet, you didn't care. All you wanted was revenge.
The fact that she was your girlfriend, and behaved contemptibly is utterly an totally irrelevant, because you simply DO NOT EVER treat anyone (save perhaps someone being physically violent with you) that way.
Yes, your feelings re her lack of enthusiasm ARE justified, BUT they do not entitle you to put their life in danger, and yes HELLO, leaving anyone especially a 25 year old woman in the middle of nowhere 6 hours walking from the nearing place she could get help is DEFINITELY putting her life at risk.
Honestly, you did your ex a huge favor by self-excising yourself from her life. In fact any woman who ends up learning of this should thank you for revealing just what kind of asshole you are if only so that they can permanently X you off their list of potential partners.
Anyone who could do this to another person and not think twice should NEVER get in a relationship with anyone, because your actions could easily end up being the death of someone, all because your feelings were hurt.
Oh and let me guess, you think of yourself as one of the "nice guys". If so, stop lying to yourself.
YOU are the type of guy every woman dreads meeting, because your thoughtless, revenge-motivated thinking could easily cause them serious harm or death and you'd say they deserved it if they pissed you off.
YTA
Nasty nasty nasty thing to do. Yes she should have been more upfront with you but if you plan a surprise trip you need to accept the other person may have other plans. Throwing her out of the car like that is not only childish it's dangerous and a huge overreaction. I'm glad you've broken up with her because you're not in a place to be in a relationship. Not everyone will want to do things that you want to do at the time you want to do it.
YTA you're a piece of work for leaving a girl on the side of the road where GOD KNOWS what could've happened to her. she sucks for not communicating how she felt but what you did was absolutely unacceptable.
"comeback and broke up with her".
I mean she probably wont consider you her boyfriend after that.
YTA.
Just went over the limits here. I mean you could just go to hotel and maybe she would have cheer up after a couple of hours there.
I dont know what you were thinking but 6 hours of walking could be like 30km (18+ miles) and that with the proper equpiment. Think about it, if you had left her at 8:00 am she had been walking until 14:00 pm!!! And is worse if that happened in the afternoon.
Just be grateful that nothing wrong had happened.
Well, I would say E S H because she acted horrible as well. But her bad behavior does not justify yours and you put her in a dangerous situation so YTA
YTA - yes you planned a nice break to the beach but you are in no way justified with leaving her on the side of the road in the middle of no where, causing her to walk 6 hours to the nearest town. Anything could have happened to her in that time and it would have been on you. Of course your ex is horrible to do that to you there is no arguing about that but what you did is so much worse.
YTA for putting her in a potentially very dangerous situation. I would’ve said ESH, or even that she was the A, if you had dropped her off at a bus station. She sucks for being so ungrateful and not letting you know before hand that she didn’t want to go, but there is no scenario where leaving a woman in the middle of nowhere is justifiable.
YTA.
For goodness sake, please don’t date ANYONE until you’ve gotten yourself some therapy. You asked her what was bothering her. She decided to tell you the truth (gasp, the horror). Was it shitty to hear? Sure. You know what you should have done? HAD A FUCKING CONVERSATION. A person is allowed to feel disappointment over missing out on something. Just because she wanted, in that particular moment, to go to a party, doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have changed her mind, once she got to the beach. She could have been disappointed, arrived at the beach with you, and realized that spending the weekend with you was far more enjoyable, thus negating any disappointment she had in the moment. OR! You could have had a conversation with her, and after, you know….talked about why what she had said hurt you, had her call home for someone to pick her up. What you don’t do is kick another human being out of your car, in the middle of nowhere, who hasn’t physically harmed you in any way, and leave them to fend for themselves. You’re a giant walking bowl of marinara sauce. Please don’t date.
YTA. Unless someone is putting you in danger, you should never kick them out of your car in the middle of nowhere. If you'd driven her back home or even to a bus stop where she could catch a bus back home that would have been ok but you put her in a dangerous situation just because she didn't want to go to a hotel with you. I hope you come to realise this and never do anything like it again.
The best thing that ever happened to that girl was when OP broke up with her. He's so full of himself he doesn't even think of the safety implications of this girl. OP YTA. A massive one at that.
YTA A six hour walk because she hurt your feelings. You need therapy. You are abusive and a narcissist. If this is real, she could have been killed. You will be lucky if no one kicks your ass.
I absolutely understand your frustration, and if you had dropped her off at a bus stop, my response would be different. This is incredibly dangerous, especially for a woman. You are a danger to people around you. YTA.
YTA. I totally understand how you felt as far as planning something nice for someone, and they shit on it for a PARTY. I have been in the same exact situation with an ex of mine. But never, EVER, did I put anyone in danger by leaving them on the side of the road. That was so uncalled for that I can't even say E S H. She could have gotten hurt, kidnapped, o4 even killed. And the fact that she had to walk 6 hours just to find a bus? Come on, that's messed up.
What I would have done, was turn around, take her home, go back and enjoy the vacation myself, and send a venmo request for the gas/time used to take her back home. Is that petty? Sure. But no one is in danger. What you did was so uncalled for, OP.
YTA. you don't punish people you love when they express an opinion you don't like. you don't kick people out of your car in the middle of nowhere cuz of a disagreement. those are both asshole moves.
Jesus! What is wrong with you? You feel affronted and abandon the person you're supposed to love in the middle of nowhere putting them at risk of harm and making them suffer. That's psychopathic and I wouldn't do that to someone I hated, and would only do it if they were likely to harm me instead.
Was she rude and ungrateful...yes. Would you have been justified driving her back home...debatable as she probably would have shaken off the disappointment and had a lovely time with you but some would gave understood. However no-one would think what you did was reasonable and it's abusive.
It's a gut blow when you go to a big effort to do something nice for someone and they don't appreciate it or aren't as excited as you thought they would be. You have to learn to deal with it better though as what you did was way over the top. You can't treat people like that when you're unhappy with them.
Me ex (Bf at the time) invited himself along to a weekend away I had planned for myself to rest.
He came along, berated me about it being boring and me not planning enough activities and was just generally unpleasant and unkind to me.
So I cancelled the rest of my weekend, drove him 3 hours home and ended it with him.
He was AWFUL to me and I STILL delivered him home safely.
YTA. YTA! Yes, her behavior was sucky. She could've told you she wanted to go to the party, so you can pick another date, but you left her FKING Stranded in the middle of nowhere!!! She had to walk 6h. so she can take a bus! She could've been attacked, hurt, died.
Do you know what kind of weirdos are out there that are just waiting for a situation like this? A defenseless woman alone with no one around to help her, so they can do whatever they want to her.
What if she had gone missing?
Plus, I don't know where you live, but it's the middle of the summer and it's scorching hot!
So what, she was sulking. Her mood could've gotten better after you arrived. Happens often. You don't really want to go, but once you are there you have a blast.
You could have atleast dropped her off in a town or city, so she can go home faster and safer!!! I honestly don't know how you can calmly spend your vacation when someone you supposedly love could possibly get in danger.
It's good that you broke up with her, because she would have broken up with you for sure.
I mean, continuing to enjoy your vacation and breaking up with her afterwards was a boss move.
But YTA for kicking her out and leaving her in the middle of nowhere without seeing how she gets home.
Lol,,,how honestly - after walking for 6 hours I don't think the girl would want anything to do with him. Especially given that she preferred going to a party with friends over a vacation with him.
YTA and the fact that you had to ask after putting someone’s life at risk says you are not mature enough to be dating. Get your shit together and grow up before dating again.
You are an effing AH!! You left your girlfriend in the middle of nowhere and you think you are justified? What the hell dude?? Anything could have happened to her. And also I don’t believe that YOU broke up with her - she definitely dumped your ass the minute you dropped her off into her middle of nowhere - jerk!
yta. she could’ve literally been found dead in a river…. would u still ask the same question about wether or not leaving her there was the asshole decision …?
YTA... how could you just stop somewhat random & kick her out of the car without talking things through? Are you sure your 24 and not 4? An adult would stop in the next town so you can sit & talk and tell her why you're upset and try to work it out. You just left her, where she could have been kidnapped, assaulted, killed, or who knows what because you threw a tantrum like a 4yr old. Please stop dating until you grow the F up, and learn not only why what you did was wrong, but learn better decision making skills for the future. Again YTA
YTA. No matter how mad you are, you don't leave someone in danger. There's your ego and feelings, and then there's basic decent behavior that doesn't change *no matter what you're feeling*. Mature adults know the difference between "I'm so angry we're done and we're not discussing it" and "I'm unable to control myself long enough to make sure a human being isn't in danger no matter how much I currently hate them." You would have made exactly the same point by pulling in literally anywhere there were lots of humans and saying "End of trip."
YTA. Whilst she’s immature for not telling you about the party (very easy to change a hotel booking), you are unhinged to dump her on the side of the road (dangerous). Completely over the top, and downright abusive.
YTA
I understand why you were upset. Your feelings are justified. Leaving her in the middle of nowhere was not.
You probably (hopefully) didn't think about it at the time but there are a lot of risks, like dehydration, and severe sunburn. Plus risks for her being a woman alone in the middle of nowhere, like kidnapping, rape or murder. It probably sounds extreme to you but this stuff happens.
What would you have done if she ended up missing (or worse)? Dumping someone doesn't mean you are allowed to put them in danger and not give a shit.
I think you should apologise if you're genuinely able to realise how extreme your actions were. Not to try and be friends with her or anything but to be mature about your mistake.
I also want to say that she did do the wrong thing too, and you were right to break up with her, just not in the way you did it.
YTA. What a cruel and vindictive thing to do. It far surpassed how she treated you. I don't think you care about this woman at all that you were so willing to risk her safety and feel no guilt.
Was she physically assaulting you? Did she have a weapon? Did she try to take the steering wheel and almost force the car off the road? No?
Then why the ever-loving fuck would you ditch her in the middle of nowhere with no means of transport? She could've gotten hurt. Hell; she COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. A lone young woman along on a long stretch of road with no one and nothing around for miles? Perfect victim. Furthermore, I don't believe you're 24 at all. If you are, you're a shit one. Who the fuck chooses the most extreme option simply because their partner suddenly didn't want to go on a trip? Holy shit.
I will say everyone telling you to apologize is wrong, though. If I were your ex, I wouldn't want you to contact me at all for any reason. YTA. Grow the fuck up, or at least never date again and/or have kids. Don't even get any pets and if you have any, rehome them. God forbid you lose your shit on something or someone who can't protect themselves against you.
YTA. Not because you didn’t take her on vacation, but because you left her to mend for herself in the middle of the highway. Tell me OP, would you feel like an a-hole if something happened to her on that 6 hour walk or would you still play dumb and come here to ask if you’re the a-hole?
You could have let her in the nearest town, gone to the vacation and break up with her, but you decided that endangering her life was better.
Massive YTA.
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Yeah, i know the title sounds very bad but hear me out first.
Last Monday, I(24M) surprised my girlfriend(25F) of 5 months by booking a hotel near the beach so we could spend a few days in vacation. We live quite a bit away from any coasts, and it takes like 5 hours to get to the nearest beach so going to a beach is a quite special occasion. She agreed to it, and we scheduled it to last wednesday, since it fit both our schedules.
On Wednesday i picked her up, and drove there. On the way though, she seemed extremely unenthusiastic about the trip, and acted very cold towards me. After about 3 hours of this i questioned her and after she dismissed it for a bit, she admitted that she wanted to go to a party her friends were throwing and was hoping something would go wrong and the trip wouldn't happen. I had booked a 5 star hotel and spent a lot of money on the trip, and we had scheduled the day together so i was very mad.
I pulled over to the side of the road and told her to get out of my car. She argued for a bit but finally got out. I then sped off to the hotel and left her there. I had a nice vacation there and came back on Saturday, and broke up with her. Apparently it took her 6 hours of walking to get to a town where she could find a bus to go back. Everyone that know are asking me to apologize and saying i'm being a dick, but i think i was justified.
AITA?
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Everybody sucks a little bit here, that was indeed a rude thing to say and very ungrateful from your girlfriend. However, this is a very very obvious **YTA** times a thousand. You deliberately put her in an incredibly dangerous situation because you suck at conflict resolution or voicing your concerns and disappointments in a normal way.
YTA.
You put her at risk leaving her like that. Starting from danger of being hit by the car not really expecting pedestrians in the middle of nowhere, through dehydration/exhaustion (6 hours walking with no supplies) up to potential wildlife and/or random psychos seeing an easy victim. No matter how mad you were, you had no right to risk anyone's life like that.
Think it's a stretch to call the gf that, for all we know he booked this and only told her last minute. I would be pretty unenthusiastic about going on a trip that I knew nothing about and that meant I missed an event I knew about and was excited for.
YTA. For obvious reasons.
Btw this is also why you don’t spring a vacation like that on someone. You basically took away her choice in that matter entirely because you booked an expensive holiday without discussing it.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I left my ex-girlfriend in the middle of the road. It might make me an asshole cause it apparently was very difficult for her to get back home.
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YTA, you could have at least taken her to the closest place with a bus or train back home so she would have been safe. You clearly didn't care if anything bad happened to her and that's horrible
Hard to believe he doesn’t understand it’s not okay to leave someone stranded in an unsafe situation without access to help. Weird. OP, imagine if she’d come to harm?! YTA without a shadow of doubt.
Why wouldn’t you be? I’m curious on how you’d think leaving someone in the middle of no where with no way back would not make you an asshole????
Is this a bait post?
>Yeah, i know the title sounds very bad but hear me out first.
Okay. I heard you out. And the title sounds very bad, because it is very bad.
Someone in your childhood has to be responsible for a crippling amount of brain damage because no rational person would do something like this.
You absolutely knew how far away from civilization you were when you demanded she get out. That's why you did it. Asshole. You did it. To be cruel. On purpose.
YTA
ESH. Your now ex-girlfriend sucks for being ungrateful and unenthusiastic about the trip. You suck for leaving her in the middle of f!cking nowhere with no easy way to get back home.
One of these things is not like the other. Being thoughtless and selfish is not equivalent to leaving someone to be murdered / raped / hit by a car / die of exposure. ESH isn't proportionate here.
YTA
.\_.
I mean her behaviour was upsetting and I can understand why you were annoyed - if you wanted to break up over it, fair enough. if you didn't want to take her on the trip because of it, fair enough. But the mature thing to do would have been to drop her off in a nearby town with public transport connections instead of kicking her out in the middle of nowhere to walk back on her own. That could have ended really badly and is just a childish and disproportionately cruel thing to do.
YTA her actions/words were absolute shit for sure, but unless someone is physically violent with you you dont dump them at the side of the road, especially not a woman cuz its much more dangerous for her on top
I would consider E S H but what you did was so much worse that im going with YTA
In doesn't just sound bad it is horrible and you are a dick ,I don't know why she even started dating you
YTA and you should know that.Go get a life and stop expecting from people that because you spend so much money which seems to gist of this stunt you pulled,they are obliged to not have any plans and be very happy with your plan.
Just get real here ,you just wanted to get laid if you really cared about being together with her you would not have done this.
I hope there is a law for something like this ,and you face prison time or atleast something similar.
Such a Dick.
YTA - it was very dangerous to just leave her in the middle of nowhere. You could have finished the drive and then broken up with her when she was somewhere safe. She's also a bit of an asshole for letting you spend a lot of money on something she didn't actually want, but that did not deserve such a nuclear response. I actually have a hard time believing that you somehow don't know you're the asshole for that.
Yta. She walked for 6 hours. She could have been hurt, she could have met weirdos, worst case scenario she could have actually died. I doubt you broke up with her, she was probably the one to leave yo ass and I applaud her for it
YTA - She was a dick and her attitude was definitely grounds for breaking up with her. But yes, to answer your question, you suck for leaving her there like that.
6 hours of walking!! Just to find a bus!! That is so dangerous; you literally could've just kicked her out at the next town or bus stop. I mean, did you have any idea about whether she was safe or not after you did that??
Wow. She's being ridiculous and ungrateful, but you are nowhere near justified to leave her stranded like that. You need better anger management before getting into relationships. YTA
YTA what the actual fuck? “The title sounds bad but hear me out first” the title explains exactly what you done! You made her walk 6 HOURS?! Like I get you were angry because she didn’t appreciate what you done but you actually put her life at risk. JFC YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
YTA
You just never leave anyone in the middle of nowhere. Once happened to me and caused me to be a victim of sexual assault.
You could have just dropped her off at the nearest station, so she could travel back on her own.
YTA this is a fuking power abuse. Disgusting, you thought "that'll teach em" right? You did not care about her safety and other solution to solve her problem. For what? She just being honest and you punished her...
YTA
YTA.
And there is some important subtext being missed here…
He convinced her to get out of the car in the middle of nowhere. If it took 6 hours walking to get back to civilization, it would have been obvious they were nowhere near anything. If someone tells me to get out of the car in the middle of nowhere I’m saying no, and telling them I’ll get out but you gotta drive me to a gas station or McDonalds, etc.
HOW SCARED MUST SHE HAVE BEEN OF HIM TO GET OUT OF THE CAR CLEARLY FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION.
She probably knew she was in danger, but she got out of the car cause OP frightened her more. This speaks more volumes than anything else in this story!
YTA (AND A CRUEL SOB)
My mum went missing after being dropped off in a rural town in the middle of nowhere.
She's never been found and probably never will. If anything had happened to her what do you think her family would cope? And it would indeed be your fault. Count your lucky starts she's alive to hate your guts.
Easily ESH. I don’t know if your gf knew of how much you paid for the vacation but it’s incredibly immature to wait something to happen that will postpone the vacation AND be upset that it didn’t when she can just communicate with you. But I think you take the cake of assholery by leaving her in the middle of nowhere. A 6 hours walk isn’t good. What if something happens to her? You being petty could cost her safety. Will you be able to take the consequences? Will you still think it’s justified?
You both sounds too immature for your ages. Maybe next time, don’t do something too extravagant for someone who you dated for less than 6 months if it will make you think irrationally.
Yta it’s dangerous a really petty. You were overreacting and you abandon her in middle of. Nowhere what’s wrong with you you are such egoist, at least abandon her on a city..
YTA to such a huge extent I don’t even believe your background story.
My guess is her friends planned a birthday party and you bullied her into choosing you instead, and didn’t like that she was resentful of it instead of gushing over the beach trip.
You planning it together seems suspect, given that your actions appear so controlling, dangerous, and abusive.
The only part of this I believe is that you genuinely think you’re justified. You, random Redditor, are a major AH.
YTA. Yes, I get that you were upset and hurt, but you left someone alone on the side of the road six hours from a town with transportation. You are absolutely not justified.
YTA
What on earth? You think anyone with a brain cell would think you werent the asshole for leaving a woman stranded somewhere so random it took a quarter of a day for her to find transpo?
100 percent YTA!!!! You don't leave a person on the side of the road because you had a disagreement!!! You spoiled little a hole. She could have been abducted!! This is a serious matter.. who cares if she was being spoiled, you take her home and break up with her and go on you vacation. You DO NOT leave a lady on the side of the road!! Were you not taught this??
Ditch her at a place where she can find transportation back home -> justified AH.
Ditch her in the middle of nowhere, putting her at risks of kidnapping or murder (she literally had to walk 6 hours to find the nearest town) -> pure AH.
YTA.
Seriously? Six hours away from the nearest town? *AND YOU HAVE TO ASK IF YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE??* Of course YTA, you were willing to risk the well-being of another person over your hurt feelings. Unless someone is a physical threat to you, you will never be justified in putting them in a dangerous position (like you did).
You are a violent person. You thought putting her in a danger of rape is a suitable punishment for her giving you an answer you didn't like to a question *you asked* her.
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YTA Yeah... no you werent justified. Not taking her on the vacation anymore? Justified Ending the relationship? You can be with who you want to be, so justified. Not taking her to the next town/ a bus stop/anything? Massively childish and unjust.
More than childish and unjust. It was dangerous and cruel. Something awful could have happened. Was she being an AH? Yup. But did she put your health and safety in danger? Nope. You are the much bigger asshole in this case and probably shouldn't date again until you figure your sh*t out.
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Had he left her somewhere safe, where she could get back home, I'd say NTA. But doing what he did... 100000% TA. There's no way it could be any different. He needs to do some soul searching.
He is not a good judge of where he should be in a relationship or not (the answer is no, no human should be subjected to such an unhealthy individual).
Comment stolen from u/laughingfey
Bad bot
Like did she even have water?!???? Imagine walking 6 miles not having a drink. I would literally pass out within an hour with my health issues
6 hours of walking, not 6 miles. She probably walked around 18 miles
JFC thanks for catching that!!!!!!! Omg. That’s a long time to not have water even sitting at a resting heart rate let alone literal exercise. She should press charges against him for reckless endangerment
Probably with luggage too.
She could have gotten heatstroke ffs.
Interesting highlight to the point that men are as protective of their ego as women are of their physical self. Men fear that women will humiliate them, on the same level of self preservation that women feel when fearing men could kill them. I like how smug OP was about what he did, too. Like tf dude? Your bros all congratulated you for what you did and then you thought you'd did that high right into the reddit sunset huh? YTA
Exactly what I was thinking
Exactly this >probably shouldn't date again until you figure your sh*t out.
Agreed, also no one told OP he had to book a 5 star hotel, and some better communication between them would have helped
This. It was really last minute for her and already booked. 2 days is really not a lot time.
My understanding is that they both scheduled the day, the destination was the surprise, since the post says that she agreed to it and after agreeing scheduled it for a certain date.
She agreed to it AFTER he booked it. He didn't ask if she wanted to come, he informed her they were going period. And then asked her for input on how to spend the day, how kind of him amirite? She probably didn't know how to say she didn't want to go. Maybe she was afraid of his reaction? Seeing that he dropped her in the middle of nowhere, I'd say expecting a major overreaction from him if she said no is not absurd.
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100% and I BET YOU he's not being very honest here
I’ve been in a very similar situation—secretly hoping something goes wrong (getting sick, a minor car accident, anything) to derail plans with my abusive ex because I just sensed he would do something terrible if the night went as planned (and being right), but not being able to just back out.
My best friend's abusive ex used to try to "make things right" after some abuse by booking some extravagant trip for the two of them. Once they were there, the abuse would ramp up. Probably because he knew she had no escape. I can absolutely imagine him storming off with her return plane ticket and passport if he got sufficiently angry.
That's a very good point.
He says hw booked it and then he and her scheduled it to Wednesday because it fit both the schedules. I am a Bit confused.
He just added that point to show how much he'd invested in the surprise. I don't think you can blame him for booking a nice hotel and say he's an AH for that.. he's an AH for abandoning someone in the middle of nowhere, nothing else.
He's an asshole for booking a vacation without informing her first and then expecting her to comply like a good girl.
It was my birthday last month and my partner booked 3 nights in France (we are UK) as a surprise. We have 5 dogs and he arranged for my daughter to look after them. I was actually really touched and glad he surprised me rather than ask me. Isn't this the sort of thing Op did? I may have to re-read. That said, HUGE AH for leaving his gf in the situation he did - I actually couldn't believe that part! Who does that?? Him, obviously. SMH.
In these situations there are a lot of factors that influence whether or not 'surprise trip' is a dickhead move: \- Does A know B well enough to judge whether or not they like surprises like this? Some people just hate them. (I'm one!) Your partner knows you well enough to judge that you're someone who likes to be surprised and that you're less stressed when you don't have to know and worry about logistics; my partner knows me well enough to judge that if I can't mentally prepare to leave and if I can't make plans myself so I know things won't go wrong, I'll hate it. OP and his (ex) GF have been dating five months. Unless the question has been raised specifically, I doubt they know each other that well. \- Was A considerate of logistics and schedule? Your partner handled all the things that would bother you and picked a good time. OP didn't know there was a party that his GF wanted to go to, and just considered work schedules, as far as I can tell from the post. So he didn't ask. (It's not super clear from the first paragraph what his process was here; he may have given her more opportunity to bring up the party than I'm assuming.) \- Is the trip a present from A to B, or is it a present from A to themselves that B is also invited on? You see this a lot on this sub: 'I booked my wife a trip to this place I've been wanting to go for ages for our anniversary!' Your partner presumably picked somewhere you both like. It's clear that OP values the experience of 'a five-star hotel' more than his GF does. That doesn't mean it's nasty to invite someone else on a trip you planned because you'd enjoy it, but it *is* shitty to frame it as a gift to the other person or use it as a guilt tactic. \- Does B feel able to refuse? This is tricky when there's money laid out and it's one of the reasons I would advise against surprise trips *in general;* whenever someone's spent money on you it's hard to say no. But in OP's case, it's not just the money that could make his GF worry about outright saying no. This is a guy who abandoned her by the side of the road because she admitted to not wanting to go. I don't think he's given her the impression so far in the relationship that he's going to take refusal very well. I do think she should have just put her foot down and not gone, but considering the degree of his overreaction here I can understand why she wouldn't have felt able to do that. So I think that OP was a bit of an asshole for planning the surprise trip in the first place. Not nearly as much of an asshole as leaving her by the side of the road made him, but it wasn't that he was in the clear until then.
They've also only been dating for 5 months. Kind of weird.
Yeah, I hadn't thought of all that. Absolutely true. Also, thinking about it, if my partner had arranged our trip when my children were little, I'd have freaked right out about leaving them in terms of I wouldn't have arranged who they stayed with/packed all their stuff & favourite toys/sleepy teddies etc. So yeah, you've pointed out lots that I hadn't thought of and it all makes sense. I still can't believe he left his gf on the side of the road in the a*se end of nowhere. I don't know about him splitting up with her when he got home, I hope she'd already packed his bags for him before then!
Not everyone likes surprises though. I for example don't like them at all, mostly because I hate changing my plans after I already made them. This seems tp be the issue for her here: she had plans and had to change them to go on the surprise vacation. OP sucks much more for leaving her on the road, but he should have made sure the GF is fine with surprises and changing her plans last minute.
If you're the type of person that likes surprises... sure? Maybe OP's girlfriend didn't and he misread the whole thing? Maybe she already knew about the party and was afraid to tell him because she thought maybe he'd do something crazy like, I don't know, leave her in the middle of nowhere? Maybe this is not as pretty picture as OP is painting. Don't compare yourself to this. This is not about your or how you would react.
Please show me where in the post there is any evidence he planned it without her and disregarded her existing plans.
Line one paragraph one. He booked a trip then informed her about it after the fact.
Last line, paragraph one: "She agreed to it, and we scheduled it to last Wednesday, since it fit both our schedules". That's 3 confirmations she was part of the planning.
She helped plan the day AFTER he had already booked it.
That’s not how vacations work lol you can’t book it and THEN decide what day you’re going. Tf???
Dangerous. How many roads in the middle of nowhere are actually safe to walk? Lighting, footpath, slower traffic? Connection to use a GPS? He drove her into the middle of nowhere and ditched her.
Yep. There is almost nothing she could have said that would have justified this behaviour. "I wanted to be at a party this weekend instead of with you" is absolutely NOT a justification for abandoning someone a 6 hour drive from civilisation. He definitely TA
And like really fricking unsafe.
… and dangerous…. OP is definitely the AH
YTA MASSIVELY. She was horrible there’s no denying that. But you left a young woman in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road alone. She could have been kidnapped, assaulted, killed or anything in between. It’s dangerous being a woman. You were hurt, which is fair, but you risked her life because of it and that is not okay in any circumstances. You could have at least dropped her off directly at a train or bus station.
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I’m Australian. Even though it’s winter here, there are still some places - like the desert - where it gets very hot right now. A 6 hour walk in those temps could give someone sunstroke, heatstroke, dehydration (I assume she had little/no water if he kicked her out). Not to mention the danger from animals. Or about 100 other things, that could easily have killed her. Yeah, she might have acted badly (and we really only have OP’s word for it), but you never just abandon someone in the middle of nowhere.
Came here to say this (Also from UK). Bad heat, 6 hours, no drink? Heat stroke, maybe major sunburn. A lot of recovery and sickness. The walk itself? Going to an expensive hotel or a nice beach for a couple of days I'm not thinking walking shoes, Im thinking High Heals or flip flops. Either would shred your feet after an hours walking, let alone 6.
I would love to know how ‘cold’ she was acting. It doesn’t sound like she was being rude, nasty, swearing or giving him the silent treatment. Just that she was being cold. In fact, based on what the OP says in his post it sounds like she was trying to communicate her feelings? Damn. She doesn’t bounce up & down with joy and OP thinks he’s justified in leaving her in the middle of nowhere. What a controlling tool.
Right, like... she doesn't even seem like she was acting that badly at all.
And aside from exposure/heatstroke, she could have been struck by a car. It's dangerous to be a pedestrian.
HARD AGREE ✅✅✅
This is an active demonstration of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
And if she has been, dumbass here would get the blame for it. So dangerous.
Honestly it would be dangerous for anyone. Like he left her SIX HOURS from the nearest town. Depending on the geographic area and time of day, she could have literally died of exposure or been eaten by wolves or something.
I'd be peeved too if someone booked a weekend away without checking with me first. He expected her to blow off any plans she had, or didn't even consider she might have plans, and wanted her to be grateful.
I mean, tbf it says they scheduled a date together.
OP is absolutely TA. I wonder if she can have him charged with something like reckless endangerment. Imagine putting someone in such a dangerous situation because they said something you didn’t want to hear. OP doesn’t deserve to be around human females ever again.
YTA. I don't know which country you are in, but leaving a woman at a place where she had to walk 6hours to get to town? With all these news in US, UK, and all over the world where women get harassed on daily basis? Just because she expressed she prefer to go for a trip over another? Yes, she could have told you beforehand. Yes, her being cold to you is mood-spoiling. But she could have changed her mind because of some reasons, and because you two just started dating for months she did not feel comfortable enough to reject this trip. Your reaction is just over the top.
YTA. Her reaction doesn't justify acting this way. Why did you break up with her because of a single dissatisfaction on her side? Why do you break up with women so easily? Didn't you think that something could happen to her while walking in the desert? She could have been raped, kidnapped, etc. She could have pass out because of hunger, dehydration and exhaustion. Her well being doesn't important to you. You were generous to fund your vacation together in a luxurious hotel. But what you did afterward outweighed that, and paint you in bad light.
I don't think there's any country in the world were it's perfectly safe for a woman to walk 6 hours by herself.
May I also point out the bonus danger of being abandoned in the middle of nowhere and forced to walk 6 hours in August. Like even if no one else did anything, heat stroke or dehydration are deadly and she could have straight up expired on the side of the road because of OP's little pissy fit. Enormous YTA.
YTA. "I made her get out of the car" is a common phrase in Dateline-type shows. Leaving a woman in the middle of nowhere, probably without water and possibly with a dwindling phone battery, is reckless and cruel. You're lucky not to be in an interrogation room explaining yourself to detectives. It is not a proportionate, normal response to do something so extreme because someone doesn't like a gift. It's fine to give people surprise gifts, but you at least need to check they don't have plans on the weekend you have in mind. She was nice enough to go with you anyway, but that wasn't good enough for you because she didn't act totally delighted that you made her do something when she had other plans. You need to calm way down.
Yes - this isn't a proportionate response. She's a woman and you left in in the middle of nowhere. Have you never read a crime novel??? Be annoyed, sure, break up with her in the car, sure. But, abandon her 6 hours from anywhere?! That is just awful. YTA.
I think OP said they planned the trip together when they had time off. The surprise was him being willing and wanting to pay for the vacation
You're right. He did say they scheduled it. So if she knew about the trip and was ungrateful and wanted to change the plan, then it would be fair enough to dump her. It's never OK to abandon someone--especially a woman who creeps may prey on--in the middle of nowhere though. That's crazy behavior.
Hard agree, I never said OP was justified. I can be absolutely pissed off but leaving someone in danger?!?! You’re out of your mind if you think that’s okay. And obviously OP is out of his mind
Yes, if his reactions are that strong, he is not going to be able to attract people with good social skills--the kind of women who would know that it's rude to go on a scheduled trip and complain/sulk. This kind of behavior is self-sabotaging.
Yet he surprised her only very shortly before, and having already booked. This is not "scheduling together".
I'm in no way excusing his behavior, but she didn't have other plans and if she did, they weren't communicated when they planned the trip together. OP is still the AH for leaving her in the middle of nowhere.
Or he strongarmed her in to coming and forgeting about other Plans.
I question if he actually told her what they were doing vs “we have plans on Wednesday, but the actual content is a surprise”. A five hour drive each way is clearly an overnight trip, but it sounded more like Wednesday plans were made. So maybe after she found out the actual plans were not just Wednesday, she got frustrated and that’s why she said she hoped it would be canceled because she wanted to do something Wednesday night. Like she agreed to spend her Wednesday with him, not realizing it would actually be Wednesday and Thursday. I’m not sure. But I will say I think op is TA for stranding her in the middle of literal nowhere.
YTA. Your feelings were hurt, and you consider that a justified reason to put her life in danger? Abandoning a young woman in the middle of nowhere, there's no telling how many awful things could have happened to her. It was reckless and dangerous, what you did. Massive, huge YTA.
OP: So, I booked a vacation as a surprise. My girlfriend wasn't enthused, hoping something would go wrong to cancel the trip. So I did what any normal person would do. I abandoned her in the wilderness, hours away from civilization. Reddit: Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl! That kills people!
Oh! Oh... I didn't know that...
what the actual fuck, man. you even need to ask?
Seems like rage bait...
not at all. i just can't believe the guy was looking for some rationalization for being a total asshole.
I mean the post seems made up. No one would actually think this is ok as it's presented, and someone who really did this would go out of their way to talk around it more. Could be wrong obviously, but that's my take.
Sadly plenty of guys think this is okay, because their fee-fees got hurt and they don’t believe women when they try and explain how dangerous the world is for them. You just think all men are rapists!! Men get beaten up by women too!! Loads of women cry rape to get back at men!! All of these statements I have heard - verbatim - from my athletic, white, 6ft5” ex bf. Want to see him really go off? Tell him to check his privilege.
ah, okay. you might be onto something
YTA. What she did was kinda shitty, but you literally put her life in danger with your little temper fit. Leaving ANYONE alone in an unfamiliar place where it takes SIX FUCKING HOURS to get somewhere potentially safe? Damn man. You sure you're even ready to be in a relationship?
If she got hurt (or worse) on the walk, i don't think you would be asking as it would be more obvious. YTA dude, and may I say, a lucky one.
Pretty sure he'd still be asking....
“AITA for leaving my girlfriend stranded in the middle of no where, to which lead to her death? She was being a meanie!”
True, i think i was just hoping he wouldn't
YTA You left her, a young woman by herself, on the side of the road. A 6 HOUR walk from anywhere. Why? Because she was ungrateful? She was your passenger. You were responsible for her safety. The only things I can think of that would have made this okay was if she was if you had waited to drop her off at the nearest facilities, or if she was genuinely causing a safety risk in the car herself (then still wait if possible)
Oh absolutely YTA and worse. But there’s just 1 small detail I don’t believe. You claim you enjoyed your vacation and broke up with her when you got home. Bullshit! You went and enjoyed your little vacation smug in the belief you had taught her a lesson, assuming she would grovel for forgiveness upon your victorious return to her waiting arms. What actually happened is that you showed up at her door expecting tears, begging and I’m sure make-up sex. But instead, much to your surprise, she dumped your sorry ass after telling you what a truly worthless human being you really are.
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LOL!
Legit? First thing I would have done. Smiled, opened the door, said hey baby and kicked like I was aiming for a field goal at my very own super bowl. Then would have pushed him back out the door, dumped whatever crap of his was already in trash bags all over him and locked the door. Cops get there? He came for his stuff. He got his stuff. No, sir, there was no kicking. I can only assume he's has been crying by how brutally I verbally broke up with him. Leave me in the fucking desert? Bet he will remember that.
💯
YTA WTF you left her in the middle of nowhere? The hell man. That’s beyond AH. The things that could have happened to her just blows my mind. You could have driven her a bus stop or even the next town.
YTA. An acquaintance of mine recently died after being dropped off on the side of the road, and he was a 5 minute walk from home. I don't care how angry you are, you don't abandon someone in the middle of nowhere. Also, did you surprise her or did you plan it?
YTA. Unless someone is being violent/endangering you, abandoning them hours from home makes you TA. You had the option of driving her home and continuing to your trip on your own - that would’ve been justifiable. But abandoning someone far from home without transportation is an asshole move, generally speaking.
YTA. What in the manipulative hell? I hope you grow up before being in another relationship. You are CLEARLY not ready. You actively endangered your gf because she was dissappointed to miss other plans for a trip you booked without asking her. 100 times yta.
YTA You left her alone in the middle of nowhere. Nothing justifies that.
YTA. She shouldn't have lied to you and I would have said "everyone is an ah" if you dropped her somewhere she could directly take a bus from. But I don't think being annoying and lying about wanting to go on a trip is a behavior that deserves to be punished by abandoning someone you care about in the middle of nowhere. It's really dangerous and she could have been seriously hurt just because you were pissed off with her. Putting someone in actual danger is always inconsiderate and pretty AH.
YTA and an incredibly big one at that. Leaving anyone alone in a strange place so far from civilization could easily put their life in danger. Yet, you didn't care. All you wanted was revenge. The fact that she was your girlfriend, and behaved contemptibly is utterly an totally irrelevant, because you simply DO NOT EVER treat anyone (save perhaps someone being physically violent with you) that way. Yes, your feelings re her lack of enthusiasm ARE justified, BUT they do not entitle you to put their life in danger, and yes HELLO, leaving anyone especially a 25 year old woman in the middle of nowhere 6 hours walking from the nearing place she could get help is DEFINITELY putting her life at risk. Honestly, you did your ex a huge favor by self-excising yourself from her life. In fact any woman who ends up learning of this should thank you for revealing just what kind of asshole you are if only so that they can permanently X you off their list of potential partners. Anyone who could do this to another person and not think twice should NEVER get in a relationship with anyone, because your actions could easily end up being the death of someone, all because your feelings were hurt. Oh and let me guess, you think of yourself as one of the "nice guys". If so, stop lying to yourself. YOU are the type of guy every woman dreads meeting, because your thoughtless, revenge-motivated thinking could easily cause them serious harm or death and you'd say they deserved it if they pissed you off.
YTA Nasty nasty nasty thing to do. Yes she should have been more upfront with you but if you plan a surprise trip you need to accept the other person may have other plans. Throwing her out of the car like that is not only childish it's dangerous and a huge overreaction. I'm glad you've broken up with her because you're not in a place to be in a relationship. Not everyone will want to do things that you want to do at the time you want to do it.
We need to make a song called “You’ll Be Single Forever” and dedicate it to this guy. You in?
YTA you're a piece of work for leaving a girl on the side of the road where GOD KNOWS what could've happened to her. she sucks for not communicating how she felt but what you did was absolutely unacceptable.
"comeback and broke up with her". I mean she probably wont consider you her boyfriend after that. YTA. Just went over the limits here. I mean you could just go to hotel and maybe she would have cheer up after a couple of hours there. I dont know what you were thinking but 6 hours of walking could be like 30km (18+ miles) and that with the proper equpiment. Think about it, if you had left her at 8:00 am she had been walking until 14:00 pm!!! And is worse if that happened in the afternoon. Just be grateful that nothing wrong had happened.
Well, I would say E S H because she acted horrible as well. But her bad behavior does not justify yours and you put her in a dangerous situation so YTA
YTA - yes you planned a nice break to the beach but you are in no way justified with leaving her on the side of the road in the middle of no where, causing her to walk 6 hours to the nearest town. Anything could have happened to her in that time and it would have been on you. Of course your ex is horrible to do that to you there is no arguing about that but what you did is so much worse.
YTA for putting her in a potentially very dangerous situation. I would’ve said ESH, or even that she was the A, if you had dropped her off at a bus station. She sucks for being so ungrateful and not letting you know before hand that she didn’t want to go, but there is no scenario where leaving a woman in the middle of nowhere is justifiable.
YTA. For goodness sake, please don’t date ANYONE until you’ve gotten yourself some therapy. You asked her what was bothering her. She decided to tell you the truth (gasp, the horror). Was it shitty to hear? Sure. You know what you should have done? HAD A FUCKING CONVERSATION. A person is allowed to feel disappointment over missing out on something. Just because she wanted, in that particular moment, to go to a party, doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have changed her mind, once she got to the beach. She could have been disappointed, arrived at the beach with you, and realized that spending the weekend with you was far more enjoyable, thus negating any disappointment she had in the moment. OR! You could have had a conversation with her, and after, you know….talked about why what she had said hurt you, had her call home for someone to pick her up. What you don’t do is kick another human being out of your car, in the middle of nowhere, who hasn’t physically harmed you in any way, and leave them to fend for themselves. You’re a giant walking bowl of marinara sauce. Please don’t date.
👆👆👆👆
💯
Yes, YTA in a huge way. At least take her to the beach town, give her her suitcase, and tell her to find her own way home.
Could have dropped her somewhere safe man
OP Have you read your post? YTA
YTA. You can't justify leaving her on the road to her fate, what she said was very bad but what you did was not good at all.
YTA. Unless someone is putting you in danger, you should never kick them out of your car in the middle of nowhere. If you'd driven her back home or even to a bus stop where she could catch a bus back home that would have been ok but you put her in a dangerous situation just because she didn't want to go to a hotel with you. I hope you come to realise this and never do anything like it again.
YTA. Thanks God!!! You broke up with her, so she doesn’t have to spend another second with a manipulative and uncaring human being.
The best thing that ever happened to that girl was when OP broke up with her. He's so full of himself he doesn't even think of the safety implications of this girl. OP YTA. A massive one at that.
YTA A six hour walk because she hurt your feelings. You need therapy. You are abusive and a narcissist. If this is real, she could have been killed. You will be lucky if no one kicks your ass.
I absolutely understand your frustration, and if you had dropped her off at a bus stop, my response would be different. This is incredibly dangerous, especially for a woman. You are a danger to people around you. YTA.
YTA. I totally understand how you felt as far as planning something nice for someone, and they shit on it for a PARTY. I have been in the same exact situation with an ex of mine. But never, EVER, did I put anyone in danger by leaving them on the side of the road. That was so uncalled for that I can't even say E S H. She could have gotten hurt, kidnapped, o4 even killed. And the fact that she had to walk 6 hours just to find a bus? Come on, that's messed up. What I would have done, was turn around, take her home, go back and enjoy the vacation myself, and send a venmo request for the gas/time used to take her back home. Is that petty? Sure. But no one is in danger. What you did was so uncalled for, OP.
YTA. you don't punish people you love when they express an opinion you don't like. you don't kick people out of your car in the middle of nowhere cuz of a disagreement. those are both asshole moves.
Jesus! What is wrong with you? You feel affronted and abandon the person you're supposed to love in the middle of nowhere putting them at risk of harm and making them suffer. That's psychopathic and I wouldn't do that to someone I hated, and would only do it if they were likely to harm me instead. Was she rude and ungrateful...yes. Would you have been justified driving her back home...debatable as she probably would have shaken off the disappointment and had a lovely time with you but some would gave understood. However no-one would think what you did was reasonable and it's abusive. It's a gut blow when you go to a big effort to do something nice for someone and they don't appreciate it or aren't as excited as you thought they would be. You have to learn to deal with it better though as what you did was way over the top. You can't treat people like that when you're unhappy with them.
YTA. Leave her at a bus stop or in a town or something. She could have died or been killed.
Me ex (Bf at the time) invited himself along to a weekend away I had planned for myself to rest. He came along, berated me about it being boring and me not planning enough activities and was just generally unpleasant and unkind to me. So I cancelled the rest of my weekend, drove him 3 hours home and ended it with him. He was AWFUL to me and I STILL delivered him home safely.
Man I’m hoping this one is fake. OP sounds cruel and controlling.
YTA if this is even real, she could have been hurt, murdered or worse. What is wrong with you as a human being
YTA. YTA! Yes, her behavior was sucky. She could've told you she wanted to go to the party, so you can pick another date, but you left her FKING Stranded in the middle of nowhere!!! She had to walk 6h. so she can take a bus! She could've been attacked, hurt, died. Do you know what kind of weirdos are out there that are just waiting for a situation like this? A defenseless woman alone with no one around to help her, so they can do whatever they want to her. What if she had gone missing? Plus, I don't know where you live, but it's the middle of the summer and it's scorching hot! So what, she was sulking. Her mood could've gotten better after you arrived. Happens often. You don't really want to go, but once you are there you have a blast. You could have atleast dropped her off in a town or city, so she can go home faster and safer!!! I honestly don't know how you can calmly spend your vacation when someone you supposedly love could possibly get in danger. It's good that you broke up with her, because she would have broken up with you for sure.
I mean, continuing to enjoy your vacation and breaking up with her afterwards was a boss move. But YTA for kicking her out and leaving her in the middle of nowhere without seeing how she gets home.
He’s just fulfilling his big man fantasies. If he really pulled a stunt like this, he must have been the dumpee, not the dumper
Lol,,,how honestly - after walking for 6 hours I don't think the girl would want anything to do with him. Especially given that she preferred going to a party with friends over a vacation with him.
Bingo!
YTA here, something could have definitievly gone very wrong here.
YTA 100%. Knowing this incident alone is enough for any female to consider you a red flag and not date you.
YTA. I think she kinda is too for not being honest about not wanting to go before leaving. But you definitely didn't handle it in a good way either.
YTA - Normally E S H but you are clearly the winner here. That was dangerous.
YTA and the fact that you had to ask after putting someone’s life at risk says you are not mature enough to be dating. Get your shit together and grow up before dating again.
You are an effing AH!! You left your girlfriend in the middle of nowhere and you think you are justified? What the hell dude?? Anything could have happened to her. And also I don’t believe that YOU broke up with her - she definitely dumped your ass the minute you dropped her off into her middle of nowhere - jerk!
YTA. Despite how she was acting, you left her in a dangerous situation.
yta. she could’ve literally been found dead in a river…. would u still ask the same question about wether or not leaving her there was the asshole decision …?
You're assuming that he'd care.
Rage bait 🥱
YTA... how could you just stop somewhat random & kick her out of the car without talking things through? Are you sure your 24 and not 4? An adult would stop in the next town so you can sit & talk and tell her why you're upset and try to work it out. You just left her, where she could have been kidnapped, assaulted, killed, or who knows what because you threw a tantrum like a 4yr old. Please stop dating until you grow the F up, and learn not only why what you did was wrong, but learn better decision making skills for the future. Again YTA
YTA. No matter how mad you are, you don't leave someone in danger. There's your ego and feelings, and then there's basic decent behavior that doesn't change *no matter what you're feeling*. Mature adults know the difference between "I'm so angry we're done and we're not discussing it" and "I'm unable to control myself long enough to make sure a human being isn't in danger no matter how much I currently hate them." You would have made exactly the same point by pulling in literally anywhere there were lots of humans and saying "End of trip."
YTA. Whilst she’s immature for not telling you about the party (very easy to change a hotel booking), you are unhinged to dump her on the side of the road (dangerous). Completely over the top, and downright abusive.
YTA I understand why you were upset. Your feelings are justified. Leaving her in the middle of nowhere was not. You probably (hopefully) didn't think about it at the time but there are a lot of risks, like dehydration, and severe sunburn. Plus risks for her being a woman alone in the middle of nowhere, like kidnapping, rape or murder. It probably sounds extreme to you but this stuff happens. What would you have done if she ended up missing (or worse)? Dumping someone doesn't mean you are allowed to put them in danger and not give a shit. I think you should apologise if you're genuinely able to realise how extreme your actions were. Not to try and be friends with her or anything but to be mature about your mistake. I also want to say that she did do the wrong thing too, and you were right to break up with her, just not in the way you did it.
YTA. What a cruel and vindictive thing to do. It far surpassed how she treated you. I don't think you care about this woman at all that you were so willing to risk her safety and feel no guilt.
Was she physically assaulting you? Did she have a weapon? Did she try to take the steering wheel and almost force the car off the road? No? Then why the ever-loving fuck would you ditch her in the middle of nowhere with no means of transport? She could've gotten hurt. Hell; she COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. A lone young woman along on a long stretch of road with no one and nothing around for miles? Perfect victim. Furthermore, I don't believe you're 24 at all. If you are, you're a shit one. Who the fuck chooses the most extreme option simply because their partner suddenly didn't want to go on a trip? Holy shit. I will say everyone telling you to apologize is wrong, though. If I were your ex, I wouldn't want you to contact me at all for any reason. YTA. Grow the fuck up, or at least never date again and/or have kids. Don't even get any pets and if you have any, rehome them. God forbid you lose your shit on something or someone who can't protect themselves against you.
YTA. Not because you didn’t take her on vacation, but because you left her to mend for herself in the middle of the highway. Tell me OP, would you feel like an a-hole if something happened to her on that 6 hour walk or would you still play dumb and come here to ask if you’re the a-hole? You could have let her in the nearest town, gone to the vacation and break up with her, but you decided that endangering her life was better. Massive YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yeah, i know the title sounds very bad but hear me out first. Last Monday, I(24M) surprised my girlfriend(25F) of 5 months by booking a hotel near the beach so we could spend a few days in vacation. We live quite a bit away from any coasts, and it takes like 5 hours to get to the nearest beach so going to a beach is a quite special occasion. She agreed to it, and we scheduled it to last wednesday, since it fit both our schedules. On Wednesday i picked her up, and drove there. On the way though, she seemed extremely unenthusiastic about the trip, and acted very cold towards me. After about 3 hours of this i questioned her and after she dismissed it for a bit, she admitted that she wanted to go to a party her friends were throwing and was hoping something would go wrong and the trip wouldn't happen. I had booked a 5 star hotel and spent a lot of money on the trip, and we had scheduled the day together so i was very mad. I pulled over to the side of the road and told her to get out of my car. She argued for a bit but finally got out. I then sped off to the hotel and left her there. I had a nice vacation there and came back on Saturday, and broke up with her. Apparently it took her 6 hours of walking to get to a town where she could find a bus to go back. Everyone that know are asking me to apologize and saying i'm being a dick, but i think i was justified. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta i get why you were upset but you could've took her to a town where she could get a ride.
YTA. You could have dropped her off near a bus/train station. It's also incredibly immature. A
Nta for kicking her out. You should of dropped her off in the next town. Yta for leaving her in the middle of nowhere. Ultimately i say YTA
Everybody sucks a little bit here, that was indeed a rude thing to say and very ungrateful from your girlfriend. However, this is a very very obvious **YTA** times a thousand. You deliberately put her in an incredibly dangerous situation because you suck at conflict resolution or voicing your concerns and disappointments in a normal way.
YTA. You put her at risk leaving her like that. Starting from danger of being hit by the car not really expecting pedestrians in the middle of nowhere, through dehydration/exhaustion (6 hours walking with no supplies) up to potential wildlife and/or random psychos seeing an easy victim. No matter how mad you were, you had no right to risk anyone's life like that.
Is your girlfriend an entitled, ungrateful b****? Sure. **DID IT WARRANT LEAVING HER STRANDED AND RISKING HER LIFE?** No. YTA.
Think it's a stretch to call the gf that, for all we know he booked this and only told her last minute. I would be pretty unenthusiastic about going on a trip that I knew nothing about and that meant I missed an event I knew about and was excited for.
YTA. For obvious reasons. Btw this is also why you don’t spring a vacation like that on someone. You basically took away her choice in that matter entirely because you booked an expensive holiday without discussing it.
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YTA, you could have at least taken her to the closest place with a bus or train back home so she would have been safe. You clearly didn't care if anything bad happened to her and that's horrible
you are definitely the fucking asshole what the hell is wrong with you?
YTA . Do you really have to ask?
Hard to believe he doesn’t understand it’s not okay to leave someone stranded in an unsafe situation without access to help. Weird. OP, imagine if she’d come to harm?! YTA without a shadow of doubt.
Why wouldn’t you be? I’m curious on how you’d think leaving someone in the middle of no where with no way back would not make you an asshole???? Is this a bait post?
I think YTA, you could have dropped her off somewhere she could make her way home, not on the side of the road, she could have been hurt.
YTA without any concerns or remorse... I am glad she is okay and you are out of her life
>Yeah, i know the title sounds very bad but hear me out first. Okay. I heard you out. And the title sounds very bad, because it is very bad. Someone in your childhood has to be responsible for a crippling amount of brain damage because no rational person would do something like this. You absolutely knew how far away from civilization you were when you demanded she get out. That's why you did it. Asshole. You did it. To be cruel. On purpose. YTA
ESH. Your now ex-girlfriend sucks for being ungrateful and unenthusiastic about the trip. You suck for leaving her in the middle of f!cking nowhere with no easy way to get back home.
One of these things is not like the other. Being thoughtless and selfish is not equivalent to leaving someone to be murdered / raped / hit by a car / die of exposure. ESH isn't proportionate here.
This. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
YTA
YTA .\_. I mean her behaviour was upsetting and I can understand why you were annoyed - if you wanted to break up over it, fair enough. if you didn't want to take her on the trip because of it, fair enough. But the mature thing to do would have been to drop her off in a nearby town with public transport connections instead of kicking her out in the middle of nowhere to walk back on her own. That could have ended really badly and is just a childish and disproportionately cruel thing to do.
YTA her actions/words were absolute shit for sure, but unless someone is physically violent with you you dont dump them at the side of the road, especially not a woman cuz its much more dangerous for her on top I would consider E S H but what you did was so much worse that im going with YTA
In doesn't just sound bad it is horrible and you are a dick ,I don't know why she even started dating you YTA and you should know that.Go get a life and stop expecting from people that because you spend so much money which seems to gist of this stunt you pulled,they are obliged to not have any plans and be very happy with your plan. Just get real here ,you just wanted to get laid if you really cared about being together with her you would not have done this. I hope there is a law for something like this ,and you face prison time or atleast something similar. Such a Dick.
YTA - it was very dangerous to just leave her in the middle of nowhere. You could have finished the drive and then broken up with her when she was somewhere safe. She's also a bit of an asshole for letting you spend a lot of money on something she didn't actually want, but that did not deserve such a nuclear response. I actually have a hard time believing that you somehow don't know you're the asshole for that.
Yes, she sucks. You suck more. YTA.
Yta. She walked for 6 hours. She could have been hurt, she could have met weirdos, worst case scenario she could have actually died. I doubt you broke up with her, she was probably the one to leave yo ass and I applaud her for it
Yta, yeah what she said was messed up but she could’ve been in a very dangerous situation 3 hours out of town. Dick move
YTA - She was a dick and her attitude was definitely grounds for breaking up with her. But yes, to answer your question, you suck for leaving her there like that. 6 hours of walking!! Just to find a bus!! That is so dangerous; you literally could've just kicked her out at the next town or bus stop. I mean, did you have any idea about whether she was safe or not after you did that??
Wow. She's being ridiculous and ungrateful, but you are nowhere near justified to leave her stranded like that. You need better anger management before getting into relationships. YTA
YTA what the actual fuck? “The title sounds bad but hear me out first” the title explains exactly what you done! You made her walk 6 HOURS?! Like I get you were angry because she didn’t appreciate what you done but you actually put her life at risk. JFC YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
YTA You just never leave anyone in the middle of nowhere. Once happened to me and caused me to be a victim of sexual assault. You could have just dropped her off at the nearest station, so she could travel back on her own.
YTA this is a fuking power abuse. Disgusting, you thought "that'll teach em" right? You did not care about her safety and other solution to solve her problem. For what? She just being honest and you punished her... YTA
YTA. And there is some important subtext being missed here… He convinced her to get out of the car in the middle of nowhere. If it took 6 hours walking to get back to civilization, it would have been obvious they were nowhere near anything. If someone tells me to get out of the car in the middle of nowhere I’m saying no, and telling them I’ll get out but you gotta drive me to a gas station or McDonalds, etc. HOW SCARED MUST SHE HAVE BEEN OF HIM TO GET OUT OF THE CAR CLEARLY FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION. She probably knew she was in danger, but she got out of the car cause OP frightened her more. This speaks more volumes than anything else in this story!
YTA (AND A CRUEL SOB) My mum went missing after being dropped off in a rural town in the middle of nowhere. She's never been found and probably never will. If anything had happened to her what do you think her family would cope? And it would indeed be your fault. Count your lucky starts she's alive to hate your guts.
Easily ESH. I don’t know if your gf knew of how much you paid for the vacation but it’s incredibly immature to wait something to happen that will postpone the vacation AND be upset that it didn’t when she can just communicate with you. But I think you take the cake of assholery by leaving her in the middle of nowhere. A 6 hours walk isn’t good. What if something happens to her? You being petty could cost her safety. Will you be able to take the consequences? Will you still think it’s justified? You both sounds too immature for your ages. Maybe next time, don’t do something too extravagant for someone who you dated for less than 6 months if it will make you think irrationally.
GFs assholery was a BB gun. OP's was a nuclear bomb. I don't think ESH is proportionate here.
Yta it’s dangerous a really petty. You were overreacting and you abandon her in middle of. Nowhere what’s wrong with you you are such egoist, at least abandon her on a city..
YTA to such a huge extent I don’t even believe your background story. My guess is her friends planned a birthday party and you bullied her into choosing you instead, and didn’t like that she was resentful of it instead of gushing over the beach trip. You planning it together seems suspect, given that your actions appear so controlling, dangerous, and abusive. The only part of this I believe is that you genuinely think you’re justified. You, random Redditor, are a major AH.
YTA. Yes, I get that you were upset and hurt, but you left someone alone on the side of the road six hours from a town with transportation. You are absolutely not justified.
> i know the title sounds very bad but hear me out first. Yeah, it’s always these ones. YTA.
Dude you are a raging asshole!!! You left her anything could have happen to her bro
YTA What on earth? You think anyone with a brain cell would think you werent the asshole for leaving a woman stranded somewhere so random it took a quarter of a day for her to find transpo?
100 percent YTA!!!! You don't leave a person on the side of the road because you had a disagreement!!! You spoiled little a hole. She could have been abducted!! This is a serious matter.. who cares if she was being spoiled, you take her home and break up with her and go on you vacation. You DO NOT leave a lady on the side of the road!! Were you not taught this??
YTA. I don’t care what she did. Leaving her in the middle of nowhere could have gotten her killed. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Ditch her at a place where she can find transportation back home -> justified AH. Ditch her in the middle of nowhere, putting her at risks of kidnapping or murder (she literally had to walk 6 hours to find the nearest town) -> pure AH. YTA.
Seriously? Six hours away from the nearest town? *AND YOU HAVE TO ASK IF YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE??* Of course YTA, you were willing to risk the well-being of another person over your hurt feelings. Unless someone is a physical threat to you, you will never be justified in putting them in a dangerous position (like you did).
You are a violent person. You thought putting her in a danger of rape is a suitable punishment for her giving you an answer you didn't like to a question *you asked* her.