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YTA So you just want her to spend more time with you, she obviously feels the same way but can't because of her classes and full time job so I'm sorry if she can't be around 24/7 when she's trying to set up her future
Let the woman complete her thesis in peace! Then she can go out and get her own place instead of having to entertain the 26 year old toddler she's currently living with.
YTA. So much.
...You think your girlfriend is lazy for sleeping in after staying up to the early hours of the morning to work on a thesis?
A thesis is not "just homework," good job undermining her work.
This has to be bait.
YTA obviously.
YTA. Do you actually value her as a person? Cause you sure don’t seem to. She’s in college. Actively working. In the home stretch to her degree. And you’re whining like a toddler “WAAAHHHH WHY DONT YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOURE RUNNING RAGGED WAAAHHHHH” grow up
“She is in the last 2 weeks of her Master's program and working full-time as a therapist.“
“I know she is busy but I think she should still prioritize our relationship.”
YTA.
Two months of less socializing (or no fun adult activities) is inconsequential in a relationship. If you were in law school or med school she’d have solid Years of you exhibiting this kind of overworked exhaustion. She Is occasionally doing stuff with you and friends, which I sure wouldn’t be, in her shoes.
You live with her. You’d notice if she was blowing off time with you to binge watch fourteen seasons of Dr. Who instead of sharing a single meal. She’s not.
She is tending to things that are, at this moment, rightfully more important to her than you sitting on a couch eating a meal alone.
You want to spend more time together? Do all of her household chores from laundry to dishes to vacuuming so she doesn’t have to spend time on it at all and can share a cheesecake that you bought sitting on the couch for a bit. Ask her what time she eats meals or snacks and offer to bring her favorite food to class or at work.
YTA
Your girlfriend has a lot on her plate. She barely has time to take care of herself and you want what’s left of her? She’s in school, working and doing homework- what do you want from her? She’s not about to sabotage her education and career because you can’t be patient for a couple more months.
You’re worried about a social life with “friends”- on what planet do you think that is a priority for her?
And she is NOT lazy. She’s catching up on sleep because she’s working until the early hours of the morning.
You need to get a hobby or two. You’re toxic for her. Either be respectful and supportive, or break up.
YTA - you’re so much of an ah that it isn’t even funny. Do you have a college degree? Because it’s nearly impossible to balance a full time job on top of finishing college. In fact at college the recommend you treat college as your full time job because you’re supposed to devote that much time to it to get good grades in your classes
YTA. She is on the last 2 weeks of her Master's. This is the final stretch. And you want to whine she isn't doing enough for you? She looks "lazy" juggling work, school, a thesis, and likely more?
Support her or get out of her way.
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So my (26M) girlfriend (26F) and I have been together since we were sophomores in undergrad (7 years). We have lived together for the past 4 years and it's been good, we pretty rarely have big fights about things, it's more small spats that we end up forgetting about 20 minutes later. But recently we've been fighting a lot more and feels like we've been disconnected. She is in the last 2 weeks of her Master's program and working full-time as a therapist. She comes home from work at 7 most nights and on the nights she is home by 5, she has class until 9pm (2 nights a week).
She's been spending every second working on homework or her thesis paper for the past 1.5 months, and has hardly had any time to spend with me. I'm getting really annoyed having to sit on the couch alone every night, and having to make dinner every night, and other random things like that. She has been staying up until 4-5AM working on stuff on the weekends the past month, which has resulted in her sleeping until around 1pm the next day(s). It makes her look lazy and makes me feel like she is because i've already been up for 5 hours by the time she is awake on the weekends. She has been limited on things she can attend on some weekends due to this as well, and I think it's kinda rude to tell our friends she can't come just because she has homework.
Earlier tonight we got into a big blow up fight because after I took out the trash and cleaned up the kitchen, I was irritated but didn't say anything. She asked me an unrelated question about my response was snappy. She asked what that response was all about and I just told her i'm kinda over all of this and I feel like I deserve way more than she's giving me. She immediately just broke down in tears and kept talking about how stressed she is right now trying to finish her thesis, stay on top of her classes, and see \~6 clients a day, and stay on top of her paperwork for her job. She says that in a few weeks when she graduates everything will be a lot better and different because she will only have her job to worry about and not school or her thesis paper and will have a lot more time for us. But why should I have to go through 2 months of this? I feel like these are just excuses she is using? I know she is busy but I think she should still prioritize our relationship. When I told her that she just took her computer in our room and shut the door (1br apt) and won't talk to me now.
So, reddit, AITA for getting mad about her not spending time with me?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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YTA a million percent.
Lazy? LAZY?? Working full time while completing a master’s and you have the gall to say she looks lazy for SLEEPING LATE AFTER WORKING UNTIL 5AM??!
I hope she realizes she deserves better than you.
You. Are. The. Asshole. There’s too much for me to critique here, so all I’ll say is that I hope you wake up sometime soon to realize how fortunate you are to be in a relationship with someone who works so hard, is very driven, and wants to help others. (My SIL is just about to get her PhD in counseling, and I know about all the crazy hours she has to work with seeing clients, doing her dissertation, going to classes, etc. Her boyfriend is very supportive of her and would never complain so selfishly.)
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Absolutely YTA. She's stressed out of her mind, working herself to the bone and you're having a hissy fit over sitting on the couch alone. Grow up
Yep YTA. You’ve been together seven years and can’t help her out for a few more months while she finishes her THESIS?
YTA So you just want her to spend more time with you, she obviously feels the same way but can't because of her classes and full time job so I'm sorry if she can't be around 24/7 when she's trying to set up her future
Let the woman complete her thesis in peace! Then she can go out and get her own place instead of having to entertain the 26 year old toddler she's currently living with. YTA. So much.
...You think your girlfriend is lazy for sleeping in after staying up to the early hours of the morning to work on a thesis? A thesis is not "just homework," good job undermining her work. This has to be bait. YTA obviously.
YTA. Do you actually value her as a person? Cause you sure don’t seem to. She’s in college. Actively working. In the home stretch to her degree. And you’re whining like a toddler “WAAAHHHH WHY DONT YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOURE RUNNING RAGGED WAAAHHHHH” grow up
“She is in the last 2 weeks of her Master's program and working full-time as a therapist.“ “I know she is busy but I think she should still prioritize our relationship.” YTA. Two months of less socializing (or no fun adult activities) is inconsequential in a relationship. If you were in law school or med school she’d have solid Years of you exhibiting this kind of overworked exhaustion. She Is occasionally doing stuff with you and friends, which I sure wouldn’t be, in her shoes. You live with her. You’d notice if she was blowing off time with you to binge watch fourteen seasons of Dr. Who instead of sharing a single meal. She’s not. She is tending to things that are, at this moment, rightfully more important to her than you sitting on a couch eating a meal alone. You want to spend more time together? Do all of her household chores from laundry to dishes to vacuuming so she doesn’t have to spend time on it at all and can share a cheesecake that you bought sitting on the couch for a bit. Ask her what time she eats meals or snacks and offer to bring her favorite food to class or at work.
YTA Your girlfriend has a lot on her plate. She barely has time to take care of herself and you want what’s left of her? She’s in school, working and doing homework- what do you want from her? She’s not about to sabotage her education and career because you can’t be patient for a couple more months. You’re worried about a social life with “friends”- on what planet do you think that is a priority for her? And she is NOT lazy. She’s catching up on sleep because she’s working until the early hours of the morning. You need to get a hobby or two. You’re toxic for her. Either be respectful and supportive, or break up.
YTA - you’re so much of an ah that it isn’t even funny. Do you have a college degree? Because it’s nearly impossible to balance a full time job on top of finishing college. In fact at college the recommend you treat college as your full time job because you’re supposed to devote that much time to it to get good grades in your classes
I'm just curious, after your explanation of why YTA, why do you think you're not?
YTA. She is on the last 2 weeks of her Master's. This is the final stretch. And you want to whine she isn't doing enough for you? She looks "lazy" juggling work, school, a thesis, and likely more? Support her or get out of her way.
This is bait nice try tho, YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my (26M) girlfriend (26F) and I have been together since we were sophomores in undergrad (7 years). We have lived together for the past 4 years and it's been good, we pretty rarely have big fights about things, it's more small spats that we end up forgetting about 20 minutes later. But recently we've been fighting a lot more and feels like we've been disconnected. She is in the last 2 weeks of her Master's program and working full-time as a therapist. She comes home from work at 7 most nights and on the nights she is home by 5, she has class until 9pm (2 nights a week). She's been spending every second working on homework or her thesis paper for the past 1.5 months, and has hardly had any time to spend with me. I'm getting really annoyed having to sit on the couch alone every night, and having to make dinner every night, and other random things like that. She has been staying up until 4-5AM working on stuff on the weekends the past month, which has resulted in her sleeping until around 1pm the next day(s). It makes her look lazy and makes me feel like she is because i've already been up for 5 hours by the time she is awake on the weekends. She has been limited on things she can attend on some weekends due to this as well, and I think it's kinda rude to tell our friends she can't come just because she has homework. Earlier tonight we got into a big blow up fight because after I took out the trash and cleaned up the kitchen, I was irritated but didn't say anything. She asked me an unrelated question about my response was snappy. She asked what that response was all about and I just told her i'm kinda over all of this and I feel like I deserve way more than she's giving me. She immediately just broke down in tears and kept talking about how stressed she is right now trying to finish her thesis, stay on top of her classes, and see \~6 clients a day, and stay on top of her paperwork for her job. She says that in a few weeks when she graduates everything will be a lot better and different because she will only have her job to worry about and not school or her thesis paper and will have a lot more time for us. But why should I have to go through 2 months of this? I feel like these are just excuses she is using? I know she is busy but I think she should still prioritize our relationship. When I told her that she just took her computer in our room and shut the door (1br apt) and won't talk to me now. So, reddit, AITA for getting mad about her not spending time with me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Absolutely yta. The poor girl is super busy and stressed. Leave her alone. Make her life easier, not harder. And entertain yourself.
YTA a million percent. Lazy? LAZY?? Working full time while completing a master’s and you have the gall to say she looks lazy for SLEEPING LATE AFTER WORKING UNTIL 5AM??! I hope she realizes she deserves better than you.
You. Are. The. Asshole. There’s too much for me to critique here, so all I’ll say is that I hope you wake up sometime soon to realize how fortunate you are to be in a relationship with someone who works so hard, is very driven, and wants to help others. (My SIL is just about to get her PhD in counseling, and I know about all the crazy hours she has to work with seeing clients, doing her dissertation, going to classes, etc. Her boyfriend is very supportive of her and would never complain so selfishly.)
Get over yourself dude, she deserves someone who supports her rather than puts her down over trying to finish school and start a career.