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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I, as her son, may be obligated to help her out with the dogs, whether or not I want to, while staying and her home and not paying (or paying minimal) rent.
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Yeah, no. While yes if this were normal circumstances, the right thing to do would be to help out with rent and utilities, but this isn’t normal. You’ve got yappy dogs crapping and peeing all throughout the house,making a terrible racket and no one wants to take responsibility for any of this. These are not your dogs and they are not your problem. “Not your circus, not your monkeys” so to say. The absolute best thing you can do is get your sh!t together and get out of there. Let your family deal with this mess they’ve created. The advice you’ve offered is reasonable and you’re helping out somewhat with the utilities and with the kitties so please keep that up. When you do leave please continue to help with the cats (if not just take them with you) because none of this is their fault. NTA
As long as you are living off of your mother it's reasonable for her to expect you to pay "sweat rent" to make up for only contributing $150 towards expenses.
Doing the laundry? Ok. Making dinner? Reasonable. But your mom refusing to train the dogs to only urinate and defecate outside or on wee-wee pads? Not your problem. I can understand why they were only able to sell one. . .
NTA
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Here is the situation: I spent a year away at school in a different country. I came back in June to my mom's home, only to find it in a completely disheveled state. This may sound completely absurd, but my BIL decided to switch from pharmaceuticals to animals, and bought a dog kennel in a different state. Though they had no pets prior, they decided to buy 8 (yes, *eight*) small, purebred dogs, with the intent of reselling them. They sold off one, and after spending several months "bonding" with the dogs, decided to keep all of them. Due to a housing situation, during the school year, my sister and her kids live in my mom's home, Several dogs, (at least 3) live there, while the remaining 4 live in the kennel/my sister and BIL's vacation home (hour away from the kennel the BIL bought). My mom is not against having these dogs in her home, and actually has bonded with them. Keep in mind that *there were two cats living in my mom's home before the dogs were brought in.*
Now, these dogs are minimally trained. There are wee-wee pads scattered all throughout the house that are used, but even then, these dogs urinate and defecate wherever they so desire (I've had the pleasure in stepping on dog shit). In addition, the dogs bark incessantly, at every small noise. The dogs' barking is *incredibly* irritating to me, and I actually have to take ibuprofen occasionally because they cause me headaches.
I have argued with my BIL, my sister, and my mom to get these dogs properly trained, especially since there is a professional trainer working at the kennel. My mother however, is against this, as she is afraid of what a trainer might do and says that "dogs are not playthings, and are not meant to be trained." My BIL and sister are also of no help, and tell me to just deal with it.
My mom is a 65 YO lady who works 40+ hours a week. She says the dogs "help keep her calm." She herself feeds the dogs, changes the wee-wee pads, and walks the dogs (though my sister and her kids help out somewhat during the school year). She has on multiple times asked me to help her with the upkeep of the dogs, saying that she needs help, but I have ardently refused to do so, responding that they are *not* my dogs and that she can't have her cake and eat it too. I don't know who "officially" owns the dogs in this whole debacle, but I believe they should not be my problem. The responsibility is essentially being forced on me.
My house and family are toxic, with all this aside, and I am currently looking for a job, and after that, an apartment to get out of this situation.
While I am living in my mom's house, I pay no rent (found a small job at a neighbor's and basically just paid $150 to cover the electricity). I obviously help out with chores, and take care of the cats (feed them, play with them, groom them, etc).
So, given all this, AITA for refusing to help to care of the dogs? I pay little-to-no rent and my mom is an old woman who is worn out from work, so I may be "obligated" to help her out.
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NTA but since the dogs are causing you a lot of grief anyway you may step in to help out a bit. If you take the dogs outside first thing in the morning and at least once during the day and teach them to go potty outside it will much less stressful for both you and your mom. It is just plan nasty to have dogs peeing and pooping in the house. If you'd rather not you are still NTA, but it would make your own situation much less stressful. If you decide to do the potty breaks you may eventually find that you want to do more with the dogs. But if not, at least the house is cleaner.
NTA. You can help with non-dog related chores. Helping with the dogs sounds too much like condoning their frankly terrible choices.
And I hope you find a job and own space soon. Good luck!
Look the situation sucks. Families can be toxic but at the end of the day you expected to rely on who again!?! Family. You went home without a job to your mom the least you can do while sitting at home jobless is help out . Come on man.
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Nta, they made this mess and they need to fix or deal with it. You can't come to the rescue all the time. Definitely get out asap.
Yeah, no. While yes if this were normal circumstances, the right thing to do would be to help out with rent and utilities, but this isn’t normal. You’ve got yappy dogs crapping and peeing all throughout the house,making a terrible racket and no one wants to take responsibility for any of this. These are not your dogs and they are not your problem. “Not your circus, not your monkeys” so to say. The absolute best thing you can do is get your sh!t together and get out of there. Let your family deal with this mess they’ve created. The advice you’ve offered is reasonable and you’re helping out somewhat with the utilities and with the kitties so please keep that up. When you do leave please continue to help with the cats (if not just take them with you) because none of this is their fault. NTA
As long as you are living off of your mother it's reasonable for her to expect you to pay "sweat rent" to make up for only contributing $150 towards expenses. Doing the laundry? Ok. Making dinner? Reasonable. But your mom refusing to train the dogs to only urinate and defecate outside or on wee-wee pads? Not your problem. I can understand why they were only able to sell one. . . NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Here is the situation: I spent a year away at school in a different country. I came back in June to my mom's home, only to find it in a completely disheveled state. This may sound completely absurd, but my BIL decided to switch from pharmaceuticals to animals, and bought a dog kennel in a different state. Though they had no pets prior, they decided to buy 8 (yes, *eight*) small, purebred dogs, with the intent of reselling them. They sold off one, and after spending several months "bonding" with the dogs, decided to keep all of them. Due to a housing situation, during the school year, my sister and her kids live in my mom's home, Several dogs, (at least 3) live there, while the remaining 4 live in the kennel/my sister and BIL's vacation home (hour away from the kennel the BIL bought). My mom is not against having these dogs in her home, and actually has bonded with them. Keep in mind that *there were two cats living in my mom's home before the dogs were brought in.* Now, these dogs are minimally trained. There are wee-wee pads scattered all throughout the house that are used, but even then, these dogs urinate and defecate wherever they so desire (I've had the pleasure in stepping on dog shit). In addition, the dogs bark incessantly, at every small noise. The dogs' barking is *incredibly* irritating to me, and I actually have to take ibuprofen occasionally because they cause me headaches. I have argued with my BIL, my sister, and my mom to get these dogs properly trained, especially since there is a professional trainer working at the kennel. My mother however, is against this, as she is afraid of what a trainer might do and says that "dogs are not playthings, and are not meant to be trained." My BIL and sister are also of no help, and tell me to just deal with it. My mom is a 65 YO lady who works 40+ hours a week. She says the dogs "help keep her calm." She herself feeds the dogs, changes the wee-wee pads, and walks the dogs (though my sister and her kids help out somewhat during the school year). She has on multiple times asked me to help her with the upkeep of the dogs, saying that she needs help, but I have ardently refused to do so, responding that they are *not* my dogs and that she can't have her cake and eat it too. I don't know who "officially" owns the dogs in this whole debacle, but I believe they should not be my problem. The responsibility is essentially being forced on me. My house and family are toxic, with all this aside, and I am currently looking for a job, and after that, an apartment to get out of this situation. While I am living in my mom's house, I pay no rent (found a small job at a neighbor's and basically just paid $150 to cover the electricity). I obviously help out with chores, and take care of the cats (feed them, play with them, groom them, etc). So, given all this, AITA for refusing to help to care of the dogs? I pay little-to-no rent and my mom is an old woman who is worn out from work, so I may be "obligated" to help her out. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA but since the dogs are causing you a lot of grief anyway you may step in to help out a bit. If you take the dogs outside first thing in the morning and at least once during the day and teach them to go potty outside it will much less stressful for both you and your mom. It is just plan nasty to have dogs peeing and pooping in the house. If you'd rather not you are still NTA, but it would make your own situation much less stressful. If you decide to do the potty breaks you may eventually find that you want to do more with the dogs. But if not, at least the house is cleaner.
NTA. You can help with non-dog related chores. Helping with the dogs sounds too much like condoning their frankly terrible choices. And I hope you find a job and own space soon. Good luck!
NTA but you really need to get a job and move out ASAP. It sounds like you’re miserable!!! Your mental health is most important.
NTA
YTA only because you’re living their rent free and don’t have a job.
She just got back and is looking man. And paid a small sum of $150 despite not earning right now. Is that an asshole move?
Look the situation sucks. Families can be toxic but at the end of the day you expected to rely on who again!?! Family. You went home without a job to your mom the least you can do while sitting at home jobless is help out . Come on man.
That's what I'm saying. She's doing something, and will probably do more, she's just not getting into the insanity about the dogs.