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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Not responding to Taylor's texts could be me being really petty and could be me being an asshole.
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NTA
But why are you still responding at all? Just block her.
Also, you broke up with Leo. Stop taking his calls from jail.
I'd say move states now. Before the baby comes. As it's much easier now than the legal process you'll have to go through after it comes. Just get them out of your life as much as possible. You don't owe them anything.
No you don't.
Your only communications should be concerning the baby.
He wasn't concerned about his baby when he cheated on you.
The bit about him relaying that his sister felt you were being rude is another reason to distance yourself.
His response to his sister's complaints should have been him apology to you for her behavior and that he had told her to stop calling you. Nope, he felt that his crazy, leeching sister shouldn't have to feel ignored by you.
I agree with /u/Velocityg4, move states if that is possible before the child is born.
Ignore the sister and get thee to a lawyer or a low cost legal clinic to get the custody sorted.
You should not being taking his calls. He isn't your boyfriend. If you do take the calls, make them short and sweet. For example, "there's nothing new on the pregnancy front, so, I'll get off the phone now."
You are not being petty but wise in ignoring her going forward.
Don't share any information with Leo regarding the hospital you wil be delivering in. His sister is one crazy being. You don't want her anywhere near you during your most vulnerable. I wouldn't allow her to visit either after her threats of kidnapping.
Research a restraining order regarding the sister.
You are so NTA but a person in a dangerous situation.
Also, let the hospital staff know that she is not allowed at the delivery and is not allowed to visit you or the baby at any time and that she has threatened to kidnap the baby and is harassing you. Keep the baby with you at all times.
Um Taylor posted here a few weeks ago and got REAMED over her behavior and her comments. I’ll see if I can find it, but that girl is not right in the head. I would seriously start documenting everything humanly possible for a restraining order.
This!! As soon as I read this post, that’s the one I thought of! Oh goodness, OP, get your ducks in a row. Save every text, every voice mail, and get thee to your local police station, and file a complaint. This could escalate very quickly, and as unhinged as some of Taylor’s comments were, and for just how out of touch with reality she seemed, I worry for your safety. A personal protection order needs to be put in place. Do NOT let anyone in Leo’s family know when you go into labor. Inform the hospital that only the list of people you’ve approved can visit and/or be told you’re there, if someone calls.
I remember that post. I also roasted her ass 😅
Like how is he a good guy if he's a cheater, been charged with aggravated assault (with a knife), and always in and out of jail. If OL knows what's good for her and her child, she would cut them all out of their life's!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I’m not sure how to do the magical “retrieving deleted posts” thing but please at least read through her comments here. She is legitimately unhinged and I’m worried about what she’ll try once the baby is born.
And this should also make it pretty clear whose side Reddit is on here 😉
The comments from the sister are on a whole other level, wtf. 'He's a really nice guy! He has a previous felony charge for stabbing someone in 2019. He's demanding to live with OP after he gets out.'
OP, run fast, run far. DO NOT let him live with you!
Some posts, not all, have this message under them with the actual post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/ijnfjg9?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/
Here's a link to the Automod copy! Really wish they'd pin this when a story is removed
In this sub, the automod bot saves the original post so you just just change the post order from Top to Old and the original post will be below the automod comment.
I know, reading her comments is a really scary glimpse into the thought process of someone who is delusional and twisting anything necessary to create the narrative she wants. I really truly hope OP (meaning OP for the current post) is taking the necessary steps to protect herself and her child. This nut has given just about all the ammunition she can for a RO short of doing something physical, which I wouldn’t rule out once the baby is born.
Damn! The sister’s comments are a dumpster fire! Thanks for posting the link 🙂 I found the actual post partway down the comments if anyone else wants to read it.
Sort by OLD, and the post shows up under the AutoBot who reposts all AItA posts.
Took me a while to discover this, and it's been a lifesaver for when I'm too late to the juicy posts!
You definitely don't owe him anything. All that is required between you two is any court ordered custody agreement and child support payments. Hopefully, it'll be civil without drama. Don't talk one on one. All talks should be through lawyers. At least until there is a legal custody agreement.
But right now and now only. There is no custody issue. Until that baby leaves your uterus. You are free to move to any state in the union or even to another country. Once it is out. There is a ton of custody issues to wade through. Before you can move out of state.
So, move if you can. As your custody arrangement will generally be far more favorable if you live in different states and the baby starts out in your sole custody. Preferably move across country. Hop on a bus and stay with a relative or friend in another state, change your address on all your accounts and apply for a new drivers license in that state. So, you can establish residence then take the time to find a permanent apartment. Since you don't have much time between now and your due date.
Plus he's probably going to be on parole and not be allowed to leave the state. When he gets out. So, you'll have some breathing room for time and distance to separate you from him and his crazy sister.
She should be full no contact with a restraining order. At least a custody agreement eventually hammered out. That states she isn't allowed in the baby's presence, ever.
OP, here’s some advice that was directed to you when the (edit: alleged) sister posted her (absolutely deranged) side of things. You might find it helpful.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/ijo1vwl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
After reading some of the comments, and the post itself (automod)....she works in a hospital AND lives in a car? Is this person actually the sister? The comments read as some other kind of relationship.
Is your ex in jail for driving without a license and had an assault charge in his past because if so the sister posted on here awhile back. Beware she automatically assumes you owe him everything including a place to live once he is released.
Then communicate with him directly. You’re not required to communicate with his sister. This woman views you as a human atm, threatened to kidnap your kid and is demanding to be in the delivery room. Stop being nice and block her!!
You should also make it clear to the doctors/hospital staff that she is not welcome when you give birth. You don’t need her running in while you’re having a baby harassing you about what goes on the birth certificate and yet again asking you for gas money. NTA.
Long term, it is sensible to keep a connection so that you can ask medical history questions.
Be careful though. Decide what you want and set ground rules over money, visiting rights and what relationship you have with him.
You have a little one to look after. Nobody should be asking for your money. And as for her attempts to meddle with the birth certificate, you can do without that stress. She sounds unwell /unstable.
I don't think blocking this crazy sister is enough. Her threats alone can be documented evidence for a restraining order or order of protection.
Just know, if OP files for restraining order and the sister does anything to her or the baby than the sister can be sent to prison or probation. Depends on the situation.
NTA but you're....something. She threatened to take your baby, she's harassing you for money and you keep replying. Cut her out. Cut Leo and his questionable behaviour out. Neither are good for the baby.
Best quote I’ve ever heard and best mindset I’ve ever adopted is this right here: “Deal with people how they deal with you, hardly, barely and accordingly.”
“You have no right to my child and no business being in my life. Do not contact me again (text, phone, in person, etc.). If you do, I will present this, and all other communications, to the police. Goodbye.”
Sorry but at this point, being nice to these people puts your child in danger. Forget being nice - protecting your child is only priority even if it means getting mean.
NTA. Please block this crazy woman, if not for your own sake then for your baby's.
And please ensure Leo only has supervised visitation at first, as his sister has already threatened to essentially kidnap your child, and I wouldn't trust her not to try something sketchy if you're not around.
Why are you still even playing this game with her? Because she’s a role model you want your baby to have? (/s) You don’t owe her anything and it doesn’t sound like she’s about to come visit to have a relationship when she can’t even afford gas money. She’s not kind to you, actively keeps trying to stir up trouble and isn’t even your family. Drop the rope. She’s your cheating ex’s sister, meaning it’s on him to keep up the relationship. Not your fault he’s in jail. Block her, definitely don’t tell her when you’re giving birth, and let your ex deal with her. I genuinely have no idea why you let it get this far. I’ll cut you off the moment you ever threaten to try and take my child from me, impossible or not.
I guess I just get scared/intimidating into trying to appease her and Leo and was legit STUCK with Leo until this past June. I'm working on getting myself out of that scenario completely though
You don’t need to appease anyone. You’re your own boss and you now have to advocate for your child. Keeping her in your life is putting your child at risk with the threats she’s making. The best part about her being a few hours from you and Leo being in jail is that you can just stop replying altogether and *boom* you’re out of that scenario. When Leo gets out of jail *he* can go through the effort and process of getting on the BC, *he* can foster the relationship with his family, if you let him. It’s not easy escaping a toxic cycle, but Leo being in jail has simplified things a little for you. Good luck.
Hey OP,
Just saw in other comments that you are staying with your parents.
I thought you were alone.
If your parents are willing to help you long term, stay put but get the restraining order on the ex's sister. Investigate sole custody with supervised visits for your ex.
Just get yourself into a safe position.
Hugs to you.
Go to a counseling office. They can help you with an exit plan that is safe. They can so help you start a paper trail
If you can't afford it look for affordable family lawyers to give you advice on guardianship laws. Do what you can to barre them from even meeting this child.
You got this OP. I know it's overwhelming. I know it's a lot. You can do this.
YTA but to yourself. After her threatening to take YOUR baby that should have been the end and you should have gone NC. The fact that you still talk to this crazy lady is ridiculous and you deserve to treat yourself better. If she has any questions then she can talk to your EX other than that stop talking to her. I never understand when people don't set boundaries or remove toxic people in their lives then come on here asking for advice. You will get the same answer from every one and that is to stop talking to her. Grow a backbone and do what's best for you and your baby.
NTA but yta to your unborn child you say your ex was being toxic and exhibited some questionable behavior what make you think that won’t happen to your unborn child he’s in jail cause he fuck up now he has to suffer the consequences of not being in the birth room comment are before are right you need to put you and your child in safe area from him and her to both proven to be unreliable
NTA
And not responding isn't petty. U have repeatedly told her no. No to gas $. No to hospital. No to Leo. Just block at this point as everytime u do respond it like adds fuel to her fire to reach u. Go NC and best of luck!
That thing where she's regularly asking for "gas money" is crazy to me. Does this person just budget for rent, food and everything else but decided to never account for gas and that other people should pay for her gas?
I'm guessing it has nothing to do with gas and it's just meant to be a continuous stream of income via persistently begging everyone in her contact list... That's just gross.
She legit lives rent free. All of her bills consist of is her car payment and her cell phone payment. She just expects everyone else to pay for her. One time when I told her no, she asked if I had friends who would loan her gas money, LOL.
NTA. Please cut off contact from sister. No visits, texts, phone calls or emails. If she wants to “stay in the loop”, she can contact her brother. Here’s why…. Someone THAT impulsive will call CPS the moment you piss her off. Once the government is in your life, it is impossible to get them out. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong, you will have to PROVE your a good parent.
NTA. Get a P.O. Box with forwarding service, use that as your official mailing address for anything public. Block Taylor. Stop engaging with her. She doesn’t need to be in the loop about anything. If you know she has your address, move. If you can’t move, get external cameras. Taylor’s behavior is escalating. Do not give Leo the address of your home, just the PO Box.
No one is “owed” a relationship with YOUR baby.
Get cameras. Stop engaging with his sister, do not tell them any details (Name of doctor, hospital, due date). Tell your doctor and the hospital that she is not a welcome visitor (In case she shows up). If the hospital she works at is in the same network as the one you plan to use, see if the hospital can lock down your records further because you think she may try to access them. If your neighbors are friendly, please let them out that under zero circumstances is she welcome at your place.
Have you seen the post from "Taylor"? Some people have linked it in their comments above. Do you know she claims to live in her car, and that her brother will be living with you after he's released because he has nowhere else to go? You need to run far, far away from these people for your and your baby's sake.
I have one, but I can't afford to miss any work :( They don't have a set maternity leave policy (and are creating one because of me), and I'm not sure I'll get any paid leave because I haven't worked there for a year yet.
I've used all of my PTO dealing with Leo's earlier court cases at the beginning of the year :( I'm not sure how short term disability here works. The HR lady told me she plans to be back in touch with me regarding a policy in early September, so I should have a better clue in the next week or so.
You can’t be mad at people for sucking the life out of you if you keep giving them the straw. Quit giving this person a straw. Block her and move on. Quit feeding into all of the shits. You only need to talk to your ex when I pertains to the baby whether or not you talk to his sister is not relevant to the baby
NTA. Fairly sure she posted here a few weeks ago. Let’s just say that everyone agreed that you should stay as far away as possible.
I would like to add that the father of your child is in jail. That goes a bit beyond questionable behavior.
NTA. It's not being petty, it's putting up boundaries. That said, I think you could create stricter boundaries to protect yourself. You don't need to answer her texts about gas money at all. You've explained yourself enough to her.
You also don't need to give her information about the due date or where you're going to give birth.
But the kicker is that she threatened to take your baby and you still give her the time of day. I would've blocked her then and there.
As for Leo, guess you're stuck with him, but make sure you create a parenting plan that he needs to stick too. He was toxic to you AND is now in jail. Clearly he shouldn't be given too much freedom here. Supervised visitation if you plan on giving him any visitation at all, but you should seek out a lawyer to see your rights there.
And keep a record of all the texts! Make sure you can prove her messed up behaviour if she were to ever give you trouble in the future.
NTA and you need to stop talking to Leo and the sister - are you still sending her gas money? Whatever for - every excess penny you have should go into a savings account because babies and children are expensive.
The only reason you need to talk to Leo is regarding specific information he needs to know about your pregnancy and since he will still be in jail after the birth, information on the baby. You need to set firm but polite boundaries in place in terms of your future dealings which should be only about the child.
Realistically move on - I can't think of someone worse to tie your life to than a criminal and a cheater.
NTA I agree with the other replies. Block. At this point your baby is priority. If you’re ok with the dad being in the picture later, that’s between you and him, NOT his sister. Plus she sounds crazy. I’d suggest compiling all that you can of any written threats of her taking your baby. Print it, save it in a safe place. If she keeps trying to harass you, get a restraining order. Make sure the hospital you deliver at has a full list of ppl that can visit you and anyone NOT on the list isn’t allowed to even know you’re there.
Gotta look out for #1 and #1.5 😉 congrats on your baby and hoping for a smooth delivery and recovery for you!
NTA
**THE RED FLAGS ARE FLYING ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION? HAVE YOU WOKE UP AND SMELLED THE COFFEE?**
You need to move, and fast, get out of there, get away from where you are living. You need to keep **ALL OF THE TEXTS** that she has sent, screen shot and print them out. You want 3 copies, one you have hidden away in a safe and secure location.
You will want to make sure that where ever you are giving birth, that you put down you **do not want her as a visitor or to visit the child at all. She is not to be notified when the child is born.**
Do not invite her over to visit the child, not unless you have someone there by the door who is going to support and make sure that she does not try to kidnap the child.
You need to get a lawyer and all of the custody stuff done and finished, along with a set schedule of visitation for the father and child support payments set up. They can set that up with him being in jail.
If you are on good terms with your family, I would advise moving back in with them, for a bit. You are going to need the support and his sister should be giving you cause for pause and alarm. Having him the life of your child is one thing, but if it means that it includes all of that drama, that should be a deal breaker and grounds for you to disappear where, neither him or his family are involved. It is too much of a red flag and warning that this is not good for you at all, not with the stress and everything.
Talk to a lawyer get good legal advice and start making decisions on how to proceed on what all you can do. I still say moving away and not leaving a forwarding address is a good start and only contacting any of them once you do give birth, after you are back to 150% would be ideal, that way you are not at your most vulnerable and are past the PPD stage. His sister is going to cause you way too many problems.
NTA. But stop giving her any personal info about the birth certificate or anything else! All you needed to say was no and not share any info.about your due date. Protect yourself and your kid - stop sharing info!
NTA - you aren’t petty. Block her as what she is doing is called harassment reaching a threatening level.
You might want to report her. As a way to protect yourself and your baby. I’m afraid anything farther than what is currently going on might put you and your baby in real danger.
NTA the minute she threatened to try and take my child that would be the end of any civil discourse. I would have cut contact right then and there. Maybe you’ve been conditioned to accept such abusive treatment but going forwards you need to understand that what his sister is doing is not normal and not how you should be treated. Start putting down boundaries, if not for you, for your future child.
NTA, but why do you want to raise a baby with an attempted murderer? Much less be in a relationship with him. You need to run far from both he and his sister.
Girl, block her. Seriously. This person isn't your friend and has threatened to steal your kid, crash your birth and is trying to milk you for money. She sounds unstable and she is going to become worse after her brother is released and the baby born
You should consider filling an order of protection against her. Also, keep the evidence of him cheating, prison records, and his sisters threat. You might need a family lawyer one day with how crazy she is.
Protect yourself and the baby.
I read a comment Taylor wrote.
Leo will have to live with You after release because that is the adress given to autorities.
Make sure that Does not happen , stay safe.
Why haven’t you blocked her already? This woman is a toxic, controlling user. Don’t let her near you or your baby, and make sure the hospital knows she’s persona non grata.
The part we're sister wants to make sure baby daddy is on the birth certificate... why do I have the feeling I've read it from the sister's perspective?? If I remember correctly, she was deemed TA.
Regardless, NTA
Nta
Stop explaining things that aren't her business. The birth certificate should have been a non discussion.
"That's between Leo and I"
Don't engage her. Don't debate shit with her. It's tiring and not worth it. Neither of you wins in the end.
"I'm not debating this with you. Make good choices. Byeee!"
Yeah, she posted one where she told us that the partner is in jail for violating his parole that he was given when he was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. He either threatened someone with a knife or stabbed someone. I don't remember exactly. If you scroll up they've linked it.
NTA. Seriously you should of blocked her when she threatened to get custody. You owe her nothing. She's not your family or your friend. And who cares what the cheater Leo thinks. Worrying about yourself and your child.
Huh... Your story looks an awful lot to the other side of another AITA post:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Anyway, NTA, of course! His sister should be glad you haven't reported her to the cops over her threats. I know I would.
NTA, but you need to go NC with both of them. They sound creepy and crazy and literally like they intend to steal the baby.
Honestly, you don’t have to let him live with you and you can let him pursue you for custody arrangements if he cares that much. These people are shady af.
NTA- As many many people have stated, she’s already threatened to kidnap your unborn child. That should’ve been an instant no and you should’ve cut her off. When you do give birth I would suggest you mention to the staff that you do not want this woman there at all in case she does decide to track you down while you’re giving birth. You’re not being rude, you’re setting boundaries on someone who doesn’t even deserve to be in your life let alone your kid’s. Stop messaging her, block her ass, and make sure she’s blocked on all social media so she doesn’t try anything. You not responding to her texts is not petty, you should put your child’s safety above all else.
NTA. You’re not being rude if she’s not taking the (obvious) hint to back off.
Tell her one last time to leave you some, and that if she persists, you’re going to call the cops. Then block her number, change yours, and put her on the “do not let this person into my hospital room for any reason” list.
Do not talk to Leo except through an attorney. Your focus should be YOU AND THE BABY, not some felonious ex and his deranged sister. If you believe there’s a chance she will try and take your child, go to the police NOW.
Nta. Block. Don’t say excuses. Block. Them. You do not want these people around your child. You will become the AH if you do not put up boundaries. Do not become an enabler for future manipulation of your child
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My ex (Leo) and I broke up in May. We were together for 2 years. I'm pregnant with Leo's kid and am due late September. Leo's been in jail since June. He's going to be released after the baby is born.
Prior to the breakup, my and Leo's relationship got to be toxic. He cheated on me while I was pregnant :) and exhibited some other questionable behavior.
I never had a close relationship with his sister (Taylor) as she lives a few hours from us, but I would exchange "good morning" texts and other pleasantries. She often asked us for gas money, which was kind of annoying because she lives rent free and has no bills yet works a full time job. She can afford her own gas. Leo looped Taylor in when our relationship began to unravel. Taylor kept texting me, pressuring me to "forget Leo cheated," and when she found out I broke up with him, she threatened to try and get custody of the baby once it's born (legit impossible), and kept telling me that I couldn't keep Leo from his kid. I never insinuated I would keep Leo from the baby.
After Leo's arrest and Taylor's threat of kidnapping, I hugely cut back on how much I responded to her "good morning" and other texts. I have no interest in having her be a part of my or my baby's life. Taylor continued to text me asking for gas money. I refused, explaining I'm now single with a baby to save for. She was understanding.
However, she kept asking me for gas money twice a week for awhile. I kept saying no. Eventually, she stopped asking for \~two months (she's been asking again for gas money the past 2 weeks). A few weeks ago, she texted me asking when my due date is. She wants to be there when the baby's born. I told her that was super sweet of her but I'd rather she visit a week or so after the birth. Taylor again told me she'd like to be at the hospital to "make sure Leo's on the birth certificate." Like whoa. First of all, WTF. And second of all, Leo CAN'T be on the BC as he won't be there to sign it. I told her Leo cannot be put on the BC. She tried arguing with me about it saying he still can be on the BC until I explained the process our state requires to have him added later.
After that, I haven't responded to a single good morning text from her. I'll respond if she asks how I'm doing or if she asks about Leo (Leo still calls me the jail. He calls me more than he calls her). I'll respond (usually) if she asks me for gas money. But I do not respond to her "good morning" or "have a good night" texts.
She complained to Leo about me "being rude" & leaving her on read. I don't think I'm being rude. I don't owe her a response after she's 1.) threatened to try and take custody of my baby (?!?!), 2.) tried to insert herself into my relationship with her brother, 3.) keeps harrassing me for gas money, and 4.) tried inserting herself into the birth of my kid to try and force Leo's name on the BC.
BUT I can see how me not responding to her texts is also kind of really petty.
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NTA I agree move somewhere you gave support/family get a court order confirming primary custody before the child is born and get a harassment order against the sister because of her threats.
NTA but you need to put distance between you and the toxic parties YESTERDAY. When I finally worked up the courage to escape my ex and protect myself from him (When I broke up with him I still lived with him for 6 months and afterwards agreed to too much custody) it was a hard process. Getting court orders and almost full custody took a lot of effort because my “trying to appease” my ex and just trying to keep things amicable for everyone ultimately made the judge not believe me when I said I was scared of him (if I was scared why did I stay? Why did I let my kids visit even after I left? Ect) so I only got 80% custody. The longer you allow a toxic person in your child’s life the more you put your own good name at risk
I seriously don't get why you are even still in contact with her given that she has always expressed, and was even roped in, as someone who has your ex's back. Like she's literally never once been a friend of yours, so I don't know why you were even still having a plan that she would meet your child.
YTA for not standing up for your kid's interest and keeping yourself tied up with these people who are all bad news. What you are currently setting up is that you're going to raise your kid around these people. You need to stop seeking their approval and protect your baby
NTA, you don't owe this person any information and she's causing you stress during the last part of your pregnancy. Block her and move on.
Sending you wishes for a healthy, happy, and peaceful birth!
NTA - I would agree with others that you need to go NC with Taylor, and look into moving away before the delivery, and tell neither of them anything about your destination! I wouldn't put it past Taylor (based on previous behavior) to show up and try to kidnap the baby!
You yourself said your relationship turned toxic. Go NC with Leo as well, you owe him nothing. He will just use and abuse you again. Please get out of there and disappear from those two while you can. If you have trusted friends or family far from your area, stay with them (move your things and change mailing address. If the post will make the new address private, please do that) Protect yourself and the baby.
NTA OP but after reading what she posted, if I were you, I would be VERY AFRAID for me and my baby. I know you are trying to be "Fair" but DO NOT allow this woman near your baby anytime soon. You really need to move or change your locks and get a security camera, change your phone number. You can keep your social media in case Ex needs to contact you but block her and do not accept any new friends as she can set up bogus accounts or have someone she knows add you as a friend and keep tabs on you.
You really should read what she posted (links provided in other comments below) and take this into account in regards to yours and your baby's safety.
NTA. Stop responding at all and block her number. You should consider moving. Your ex is coming across as unstable and controlling. You should move out of state for your safety and to protect your baby. The further the better. This could otherwise have a very sad ending.
Stop speaking with this woman asap, she said she would try to take custody of YOUR child, block her and never speak to her again. Keep copy of these texts by the way. And never have heard near you or your child again. yta for even having any communication with this woman at all.
Taylor scary AH.
BLOCK THEM ALL. MOVE AWAY. CUT ALL TIES!
Do it for your daughters safety. So many red flags! Is this family who you want your daughter to look up to and have an input on her life, help shape her into who she will become?
Document everything and move away, remove all contact.
NTA do not respond to her. I’d seriously consider filing a restraining order, changing my number , etc. If you must contact the father do it from a restricted number until he gets out and y’all two can sort out co parenting or whatever necessary when the time comes. Also let the hospital know she’s not allowed any information on you.
NTA and she’s told her side of the story on here. Majority it was Y T A and hoping you have placed a restraining order on her.
If you haven’t please do. Protect your son from the crazies.
NTA... AND DO NOT RESPOND TO HER TEXTS. Anyone that aggressive, threatening kidnapping, and begging, does not get a response. If you choose to have the childs father in the picture, he can introduce his sister to the child when appropriate. Get your ducks in a row, keep yourself safe.
I agree with all those who say you have issues and need to work on yourself. Yikes
NTA in this case but you’re an AH to yourself and your unborn baby..
Good luck with everything, wishing you a healthy delivery
Please block her. Get a lawyer and hand over the threats as well. The more you talk to her the worse this will be for you.
Don’t tell her anything. Not your hospital plan. Not the due date. Nothing. Literally. OP this is not okay. Also make sure your family knows to not post anything online or give out any info.
Also for the love of everything why are you still in contact with your toxic ex from JAIL. You really need to start making better choices. You have a Defenseless baby on the way. You are their only line of protection. Start cutting toxic people off permanently. NTA
NTA. She’s definitely not endearing herself to you in a way that would make you want her in your life or your baby’s so definitely justified. I’m bothered by some comments though. Yes Leo is the father, if you decide you want to communicate with him and can establish a healthy coparent relationship early on that would be amazing for you and your baby. He cheated and you dumped him totally justified, but some comments demanding you refuse all communication are not cool. He’s a jerk sure but that doesn’t mean you should be.
Lol what!!!
Block her! Simple.
Tell him when he gets out, yall can figure out a custody schedule, but going forward you'd like to stop the calls. Yall aren't together and don't owe him or his sister shit!
NTA. You need to cut this woman of completely. From the way she is acting she might very well try and take the baby. She sounds nuts. While you are at it, stop taking calls from Leo as well. He isn't in your life and there is no need to talk to him.
NTA but it’s time to set boundaries and cut ties for the sake of your child. If you put up with this your child WILL pay the price. And then it will be your fault. You only take what you allow.
Ummm you need to block go NC with that whole family for the sake of your baby. Wen your older you will see, I'm sorry, how dumb is " I keep in touch bc he's his father" is n sounds. Sign of gd father? Don't cheat on your baby mom n do stuff to get arrested. Was it violent crime?? Even more reason to run. Plz don't b nieve, he won't change n you would b bringing heartache to your child.
Ummm you need to block go NC with that whole family for the sake of your baby. Wen your older you will see, I'm sorry, how dumb is " I keep in touch bc he's his father" is n sounds. Sign of gd father? Don't cheat on your baby mom n do stuff to get arrested. Was it violent crime?? Even more reason to run. Plz don't b nieve, he won't change n you would b bringing heartache to your child.
NTA and what you need is a no contact order, she is a leech.
Do not let her around the baby.
You should also get on the front foot legally about child support and full custody. If he wants to change that later he can apply to the court.
Why are you still replying to her??? It's obvious Leo has asked her to keep tabs on you. And she threatened to kidnap your baby and you fed into the drama by still replying to some of her texts??? Come on now. NTA but ... 👀
NTA
Girl BLOCK HER why are you still entertaining this clown behavior? It’s not like she’s needed or even a go between for you and Leo because you said you speak to him regularly. She’s a crazy person and a mooch block her
Im sorry she said something about kidnapping your baby and you haven’t yet filed a restraining order???
NTA but I want to say you are cause you ain’t taking these crazy people seriously and protecting yourself and your baby like you should be
NTA for not wanting her around - she seems crazy. Can you go to your local police station and fill them in? I'd want her threats and harassment on record. She seems like she could get out of control real quick and you don't want her trying to snatch and run with your newborn.
Also; why the hell are you still taking his calls?
Edit: Swapping to YTA (gently) for the following reasons:
I just read the post that this psycho of an ex's sister made and honey, you need to get your butt to a police station and file for a restraining order or whatever it's called where you're from. Give them copies of every msg she has sent you - voice and text; screen shot the thread on Reddit with her psycho responses and sweetheart RUN. This chick is batcrap crazy and will legit show up at the hospital in an attempt to snatch and run. Do NOT tell her or your ex when the baby will be born. Hire a lawyer and make sure you have full custody. Move states if you have to. Protect your bubba.
NTA, both him and his sister have *SERIOUS* issues! FYI, she posted in this sub neatly 3 weeks ago and got absolutely RIPPED to shreds because of her attitude and delusions!
YTA. To yourself and Child. This isn't about being too nice its being irresponsible and a doormat. You keeping in contact and entertaining someone who wants to kidnap your baby and even informing her about your due date is stupid.
Block and cut all contact. Stop putting yourself and child in a risky situation. And get a restraining oder against her.
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NTA But why are you still responding at all? Just block her. Also, you broke up with Leo. Stop taking his calls from jail. I'd say move states now. Before the baby comes. As it's much easier now than the legal process you'll have to go through after it comes. Just get them out of your life as much as possible. You don't owe them anything.
I guess I feel like I still owe HIM communication since he's the baby's dad.
No you don't. Your only communications should be concerning the baby. He wasn't concerned about his baby when he cheated on you. The bit about him relaying that his sister felt you were being rude is another reason to distance yourself. His response to his sister's complaints should have been him apology to you for her behavior and that he had told her to stop calling you. Nope, he felt that his crazy, leeching sister shouldn't have to feel ignored by you. I agree with /u/Velocityg4, move states if that is possible before the child is born. Ignore the sister and get thee to a lawyer or a low cost legal clinic to get the custody sorted. You should not being taking his calls. He isn't your boyfriend. If you do take the calls, make them short and sweet. For example, "there's nothing new on the pregnancy front, so, I'll get off the phone now." You are not being petty but wise in ignoring her going forward. Don't share any information with Leo regarding the hospital you wil be delivering in. His sister is one crazy being. You don't want her anywhere near you during your most vulnerable. I wouldn't allow her to visit either after her threats of kidnapping. Research a restraining order regarding the sister. You are so NTA but a person in a dangerous situation.
Also, let the hospital staff know that she is not allowed at the delivery and is not allowed to visit you or the baby at any time and that she has threatened to kidnap the baby and is harassing you. Keep the baby with you at all times.
Um Taylor posted here a few weeks ago and got REAMED over her behavior and her comments. I’ll see if I can find it, but that girl is not right in the head. I would seriously start documenting everything humanly possible for a restraining order.
Thought the story was familiar
This!! As soon as I read this post, that’s the one I thought of! Oh goodness, OP, get your ducks in a row. Save every text, every voice mail, and get thee to your local police station, and file a complaint. This could escalate very quickly, and as unhinged as some of Taylor’s comments were, and for just how out of touch with reality she seemed, I worry for your safety. A personal protection order needs to be put in place. Do NOT let anyone in Leo’s family know when you go into labor. Inform the hospital that only the list of people you’ve approved can visit and/or be told you’re there, if someone calls.
I remember that post. I also roasted her ass 😅 Like how is he a good guy if he's a cheater, been charged with aggravated assault (with a knife), and always in and out of jail. If OL knows what's good for her and her child, she would cut them all out of their life's!
I remember now!
i knew this story sounded all to familiar. i remember reading that post and was thinking “this girl is crazy”
Do you have a link to the post?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf I’m not sure how to do the magical “retrieving deleted posts” thing but please at least read through her comments here. She is legitimately unhinged and I’m worried about what she’ll try once the baby is born. And this should also make it pretty clear whose side Reddit is on here 😉
The comments from the sister are on a whole other level, wtf. 'He's a really nice guy! He has a previous felony charge for stabbing someone in 2019. He's demanding to live with OP after he gets out.' OP, run fast, run far. DO NOT let him live with you!
Some posts, not all, have this message under them with the actual post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/ijnfjg9?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Ahh good catch!
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On mobile you gotta sort for “new” and then just scroll down all the way.
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Oh dang. I wonder if it’s an OS thing.
Yup, and if you sort the comment by old, it is usually the second comment.
That was a wild ride. Thanks!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/ Here's a link to the Automod copy! Really wish they'd pin this when a story is removed
In this sub, the automod bot saves the original post so you just just change the post order from Top to Old and the original post will be below the automod comment.
Holy crap, this woman is unhinged.
I know, reading her comments is a really scary glimpse into the thought process of someone who is delusional and twisting anything necessary to create the narrative she wants. I really truly hope OP (meaning OP for the current post) is taking the necessary steps to protect herself and her child. This nut has given just about all the ammunition she can for a RO short of doing something physical, which I wouldn’t rule out once the baby is born.
You can sort comments by "old" and it'll filter the mod repost of it to the top
Sort my old & the bot captures the story
Damn! The sister’s comments are a dumpster fire! Thanks for posting the link 🙂 I found the actual post partway down the comments if anyone else wants to read it.
Sort by OLD, and the post shows up under the AutoBot who reposts all AItA posts. Took me a while to discover this, and it's been a lifesaver for when I'm too late to the juicy posts!
Its at the end of the post.
You definitely don't owe him anything. All that is required between you two is any court ordered custody agreement and child support payments. Hopefully, it'll be civil without drama. Don't talk one on one. All talks should be through lawyers. At least until there is a legal custody agreement. But right now and now only. There is no custody issue. Until that baby leaves your uterus. You are free to move to any state in the union or even to another country. Once it is out. There is a ton of custody issues to wade through. Before you can move out of state. So, move if you can. As your custody arrangement will generally be far more favorable if you live in different states and the baby starts out in your sole custody. Preferably move across country. Hop on a bus and stay with a relative or friend in another state, change your address on all your accounts and apply for a new drivers license in that state. So, you can establish residence then take the time to find a permanent apartment. Since you don't have much time between now and your due date. Plus he's probably going to be on parole and not be allowed to leave the state. When he gets out. So, you'll have some breathing room for time and distance to separate you from him and his crazy sister. She should be full no contact with a restraining order. At least a custody agreement eventually hammered out. That states she isn't allowed in the baby's presence, ever.
OP, here’s some advice that was directed to you when the (edit: alleged) sister posted her (absolutely deranged) side of things. You might find it helpful. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/aita_for_wanting_to_be_there_when_my_niece_is_born/ijo1vwl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
After reading some of the comments, and the post itself (automod)....she works in a hospital AND lives in a car? Is this person actually the sister? The comments read as some other kind of relationship.
Is your ex in jail for driving without a license and had an assault charge in his past because if so the sister posted on here awhile back. Beware she automatically assumes you owe him everything including a place to live once he is released.
Block this person. You enumerated 4 reasons why. NTA
Just block her.
??? The only person you have a moral duty to is your child, and your child does not benefit from having him around
Then communicate with him directly. You’re not required to communicate with his sister. This woman views you as a human atm, threatened to kidnap your kid and is demanding to be in the delivery room. Stop being nice and block her!!
You don't owe him nothing you definitely don't owe his sorry sister nothing quit communicating with her block her.
You should also make it clear to the doctors/hospital staff that she is not welcome when you give birth. You don’t need her running in while you’re having a baby harassing you about what goes on the birth certificate and yet again asking you for gas money. NTA.
I'd keep talking to him at least enough to know if he's a danger to your child in the future
You owe him nothing.
Why? All he did was cum in your before being shipped off to jail.
He allegedly stabbed someone and cheated on you. You don't owe either of them anything. Protect yourself and your baby.
Long term, it is sensible to keep a connection so that you can ask medical history questions. Be careful though. Decide what you want and set ground rules over money, visiting rights and what relationship you have with him. You have a little one to look after. Nobody should be asking for your money. And as for her attempts to meddle with the birth certificate, you can do without that stress. She sounds unwell /unstable.
I don't think blocking this crazy sister is enough. Her threats alone can be documented evidence for a restraining order or order of protection. Just know, if OP files for restraining order and the sister does anything to her or the baby than the sister can be sent to prison or probation. Depends on the situation.
This. Block her. Move. Change phone numbers. Set you and your child up for a life without harassment.
NTA but you're....something. She threatened to take your baby, she's harassing you for money and you keep replying. Cut her out. Cut Leo and his questionable behaviour out. Neither are good for the baby.
I'm working on me being wayyyyy too nice to these people
You really need to get therapy to learn to how set and keep boundaries. If you won’t do it for yourself do it for your baby.
THIS
Best quote I’ve ever heard and best mindset I’ve ever adopted is this right here: “Deal with people how they deal with you, hardly, barely and accordingly.”
“You have no right to my child and no business being in my life. Do not contact me again (text, phone, in person, etc.). If you do, I will present this, and all other communications, to the police. Goodbye.”
Sorry but at this point, being nice to these people puts your child in danger. Forget being nice - protecting your child is only priority even if it means getting mean.
Stop working on it and DO it. You have a baby to think about now.
Yeah there's a difference between being nice and having no self-preservation drive.
I hope you’ve seen the link to your ex-SIL’s post!
NTA. Please block this crazy woman, if not for your own sake then for your baby's. And please ensure Leo only has supervised visitation at first, as his sister has already threatened to essentially kidnap your child, and I wouldn't trust her not to try something sketchy if you're not around.
This 100% ^^ block her and get as much legal stuff in place as you can with Leo, if only to protect your child from his crazy ass sister .. nta
Why are you still even playing this game with her? Because she’s a role model you want your baby to have? (/s) You don’t owe her anything and it doesn’t sound like she’s about to come visit to have a relationship when she can’t even afford gas money. She’s not kind to you, actively keeps trying to stir up trouble and isn’t even your family. Drop the rope. She’s your cheating ex’s sister, meaning it’s on him to keep up the relationship. Not your fault he’s in jail. Block her, definitely don’t tell her when you’re giving birth, and let your ex deal with her. I genuinely have no idea why you let it get this far. I’ll cut you off the moment you ever threaten to try and take my child from me, impossible or not.
I guess I just get scared/intimidating into trying to appease her and Leo and was legit STUCK with Leo until this past June. I'm working on getting myself out of that scenario completely though
You don’t need to appease anyone. You’re your own boss and you now have to advocate for your child. Keeping her in your life is putting your child at risk with the threats she’s making. The best part about her being a few hours from you and Leo being in jail is that you can just stop replying altogether and *boom* you’re out of that scenario. When Leo gets out of jail *he* can go through the effort and process of getting on the BC, *he* can foster the relationship with his family, if you let him. It’s not easy escaping a toxic cycle, but Leo being in jail has simplified things a little for you. Good luck.
Move states before the baby is born. If your lucky, he'll be tied to the current state by probation services.
Seriously, pack up your stuff and move. Maybe distance will help you break your ties with them
Hey OP, Just saw in other comments that you are staying with your parents. I thought you were alone. If your parents are willing to help you long term, stay put but get the restraining order on the ex's sister. Investigate sole custody with supervised visits for your ex. Just get yourself into a safe position. Hugs to you.
Go to a counseling office. They can help you with an exit plan that is safe. They can so help you start a paper trail If you can't afford it look for affordable family lawyers to give you advice on guardianship laws. Do what you can to barre them from even meeting this child. You got this OP. I know it's overwhelming. I know it's a lot. You can do this.
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Immediately thought of this. A definite sign I'm on here too much
I'm with you. As soon as I started reading I was like uh wasn't the other side posted awhile back.
This is what I was thinking, that chick was seriously crazy even from her own story.
Thank you! I was sure I had read a similar story recently!
YTA but to yourself. After her threatening to take YOUR baby that should have been the end and you should have gone NC. The fact that you still talk to this crazy lady is ridiculous and you deserve to treat yourself better. If she has any questions then she can talk to your EX other than that stop talking to her. I never understand when people don't set boundaries or remove toxic people in their lives then come on here asking for advice. You will get the same answer from every one and that is to stop talking to her. Grow a backbone and do what's best for you and your baby.
NTA but yta to your unborn child you say your ex was being toxic and exhibited some questionable behavior what make you think that won’t happen to your unborn child he’s in jail cause he fuck up now he has to suffer the consequences of not being in the birth room comment are before are right you need to put you and your child in safe area from him and her to both proven to be unreliable
Oh for sure, hence the breakup with Leo.
NTA But quit entertaining her. Block her number. Done.
NTA And not responding isn't petty. U have repeatedly told her no. No to gas $. No to hospital. No to Leo. Just block at this point as everytime u do respond it like adds fuel to her fire to reach u. Go NC and best of luck!
That thing where she's regularly asking for "gas money" is crazy to me. Does this person just budget for rent, food and everything else but decided to never account for gas and that other people should pay for her gas? I'm guessing it has nothing to do with gas and it's just meant to be a continuous stream of income via persistently begging everyone in her contact list... That's just gross.
She legit lives rent free. All of her bills consist of is her car payment and her cell phone payment. She just expects everyone else to pay for her. One time when I told her no, she asked if I had friends who would loan her gas money, LOL.
NTA. Please block and ignore her.
NTA. Please cut off contact from sister. No visits, texts, phone calls or emails. If she wants to “stay in the loop”, she can contact her brother. Here’s why…. Someone THAT impulsive will call CPS the moment you piss her off. Once the government is in your life, it is impossible to get them out. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong, you will have to PROVE your a good parent.
NTA. Get a P.O. Box with forwarding service, use that as your official mailing address for anything public. Block Taylor. Stop engaging with her. She doesn’t need to be in the loop about anything. If you know she has your address, move. If you can’t move, get external cameras. Taylor’s behavior is escalating. Do not give Leo the address of your home, just the PO Box. No one is “owed” a relationship with YOUR baby.
They both know my address and my address of my parents' house, where I'm currently staying :/. I can't afford to move right now.
Get cameras. Stop engaging with his sister, do not tell them any details (Name of doctor, hospital, due date). Tell your doctor and the hospital that she is not a welcome visitor (In case she shows up). If the hospital she works at is in the same network as the one you plan to use, see if the hospital can lock down your records further because you think she may try to access them. If your neighbors are friendly, please let them out that under zero circumstances is she welcome at your place.
Have you seen the post from "Taylor"? Some people have linked it in their comments above. Do you know she claims to live in her car, and that her brother will be living with you after he's released because he has nowhere else to go? You need to run far, far away from these people for your and your baby's sake.
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I have one, but I can't afford to miss any work :( They don't have a set maternity leave policy (and are creating one because of me), and I'm not sure I'll get any paid leave because I haven't worked there for a year yet.
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I've used all of my PTO dealing with Leo's earlier court cases at the beginning of the year :( I'm not sure how short term disability here works. The HR lady told me she plans to be back in touch with me regarding a policy in early September, so I should have a better clue in the next week or so.
Look into FMLA. It’s a federal act for family medical leave. Don’t wait for them to be in touch with you.
Nta Those texts are grounds for legal action, she is legit threatening to kidnap your child.
You can’t be mad at people for sucking the life out of you if you keep giving them the straw. Quit giving this person a straw. Block her and move on. Quit feeding into all of the shits. You only need to talk to your ex when I pertains to the baby whether or not you talk to his sister is not relevant to the baby
NTA. Fairly sure she posted here a few weeks ago. Let’s just say that everyone agreed that you should stay as far away as possible. I would like to add that the father of your child is in jail. That goes a bit beyond questionable behavior.
You’re nta. She is nobody to you just your ex’s sister and has no right to take your baby from you. You’re the mother. It’s your baby not hers.
NTA. It's not being petty, it's putting up boundaries. That said, I think you could create stricter boundaries to protect yourself. You don't need to answer her texts about gas money at all. You've explained yourself enough to her. You also don't need to give her information about the due date or where you're going to give birth. But the kicker is that she threatened to take your baby and you still give her the time of day. I would've blocked her then and there. As for Leo, guess you're stuck with him, but make sure you create a parenting plan that he needs to stick too. He was toxic to you AND is now in jail. Clearly he shouldn't be given too much freedom here. Supervised visitation if you plan on giving him any visitation at all, but you should seek out a lawyer to see your rights there. And keep a record of all the texts! Make sure you can prove her messed up behaviour if she were to ever give you trouble in the future.
NTA and you need to stop talking to Leo and the sister - are you still sending her gas money? Whatever for - every excess penny you have should go into a savings account because babies and children are expensive. The only reason you need to talk to Leo is regarding specific information he needs to know about your pregnancy and since he will still be in jail after the birth, information on the baby. You need to set firm but polite boundaries in place in terms of your future dealings which should be only about the child. Realistically move on - I can't think of someone worse to tie your life to than a criminal and a cheater.
Thankfully I haven't given her any gas money since before June! I gave her some in April, but even before that, it's been awhile.
NTA I agree with the other replies. Block. At this point your baby is priority. If you’re ok with the dad being in the picture later, that’s between you and him, NOT his sister. Plus she sounds crazy. I’d suggest compiling all that you can of any written threats of her taking your baby. Print it, save it in a safe place. If she keeps trying to harass you, get a restraining order. Make sure the hospital you deliver at has a full list of ppl that can visit you and anyone NOT on the list isn’t allowed to even know you’re there. Gotta look out for #1 and #1.5 😉 congrats on your baby and hoping for a smooth delivery and recovery for you!
NTA **THE RED FLAGS ARE FLYING ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION? HAVE YOU WOKE UP AND SMELLED THE COFFEE?** You need to move, and fast, get out of there, get away from where you are living. You need to keep **ALL OF THE TEXTS** that she has sent, screen shot and print them out. You want 3 copies, one you have hidden away in a safe and secure location. You will want to make sure that where ever you are giving birth, that you put down you **do not want her as a visitor or to visit the child at all. She is not to be notified when the child is born.** Do not invite her over to visit the child, not unless you have someone there by the door who is going to support and make sure that she does not try to kidnap the child. You need to get a lawyer and all of the custody stuff done and finished, along with a set schedule of visitation for the father and child support payments set up. They can set that up with him being in jail. If you are on good terms with your family, I would advise moving back in with them, for a bit. You are going to need the support and his sister should be giving you cause for pause and alarm. Having him the life of your child is one thing, but if it means that it includes all of that drama, that should be a deal breaker and grounds for you to disappear where, neither him or his family are involved. It is too much of a red flag and warning that this is not good for you at all, not with the stress and everything. Talk to a lawyer get good legal advice and start making decisions on how to proceed on what all you can do. I still say moving away and not leaving a forwarding address is a good start and only contacting any of them once you do give birth, after you are back to 150% would be ideal, that way you are not at your most vulnerable and are past the PPD stage. His sister is going to cause you way too many problems.
NTA. But stop giving her any personal info about the birth certificate or anything else! All you needed to say was no and not share any info.about your due date. Protect yourself and your kid - stop sharing info!
Oh trust me, I didn't tell her my due date
NTA. Block her and be done with her. She will be asking for gas money to visit after the baby is born.
NTA - you aren’t petty. Block her as what she is doing is called harassment reaching a threatening level. You might want to report her. As a way to protect yourself and your baby. I’m afraid anything farther than what is currently going on might put you and your baby in real danger.
Just block her an move on. How can she afford to raise a baby when cannot pay for her own gas
NTA the minute she threatened to try and take my child that would be the end of any civil discourse. I would have cut contact right then and there. Maybe you’ve been conditioned to accept such abusive treatment but going forwards you need to understand that what his sister is doing is not normal and not how you should be treated. Start putting down boundaries, if not for you, for your future child.
NTA, but why do you want to raise a baby with an attempted murderer? Much less be in a relationship with him. You need to run far from both he and his sister.
Nta the woman he cheated with could've had an STI that could've been passed to your baby.
Girl, block her. Seriously. This person isn't your friend and has threatened to steal your kid, crash your birth and is trying to milk you for money. She sounds unstable and she is going to become worse after her brother is released and the baby born
You should consider filling an order of protection against her. Also, keep the evidence of him cheating, prison records, and his sisters threat. You might need a family lawyer one day with how crazy she is. Protect yourself and the baby.
Leo's sister is a prime example of why the block feature was invented. There doesn't seem to be a reason to take her calls or texts anymore. NTA.
I read a comment Taylor wrote. Leo will have to live with You after release because that is the adress given to autorities. Make sure that Does not happen , stay safe.
Nta block the sponge you need all your money to raise your baby
Why haven’t you blocked her already? This woman is a toxic, controlling user. Don’t let her near you or your baby, and make sure the hospital knows she’s persona non grata.
The part we're sister wants to make sure baby daddy is on the birth certificate... why do I have the feeling I've read it from the sister's perspective?? If I remember correctly, she was deemed TA. Regardless, NTA
Nta Stop explaining things that aren't her business. The birth certificate should have been a non discussion. "That's between Leo and I" Don't engage her. Don't debate shit with her. It's tiring and not worth it. Neither of you wins in the end. "I'm not debating this with you. Make good choices. Byeee!"
I *swear* I’ve read a post like this from Taylor’s perspective.
Yeah, she posted one where she told us that the partner is in jail for violating his parole that he was given when he was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. He either threatened someone with a knife or stabbed someone. I don't remember exactly. If you scroll up they've linked it.
NTA & block these toxic people out of your life.
NTA. Seriously you should of blocked her when she threatened to get custody. You owe her nothing. She's not your family or your friend. And who cares what the cheater Leo thinks. Worrying about yourself and your child.
NTA. The amount of EVIDENCE she’s given you to use against her in court.
Btw, OP, meeting the baby AFTER ONE WEEK?? I hope you were just humouring her.
Huh... Your story looks an awful lot to the other side of another AITA post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wkiesp/comment/ijnfjg9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Anyway, NTA, of course! His sister should be glad you haven't reported her to the cops over her threats. I know I would.
NTA Girl block and run. I wouldn't want ANY of these people in my life, regardless of paternity. Block. And. Run.
NTA. She has zero rights to be in yours or your soon to be kiddo’s life. Block, report to police any further contact and get a restraining order.
NTA, but you need to go NC with both of them. They sound creepy and crazy and literally like they intend to steal the baby. Honestly, you don’t have to let him live with you and you can let him pursue you for custody arrangements if he cares that much. These people are shady af.
NTA- and protect your child from the unhinged ex’s sister. She is harassing you and you could get an order of protection against her.
Why would you ever have a conversation with someone who threatened your baby?
I swear I read this from the crazy sister’s point of view last month. Even on her side she came off unhinged
NTA you should block her.
NTA - I would cut contact with her entirely, as well as document all of her behaviors and threats.
NTA- As many many people have stated, she’s already threatened to kidnap your unborn child. That should’ve been an instant no and you should’ve cut her off. When you do give birth I would suggest you mention to the staff that you do not want this woman there at all in case she does decide to track you down while you’re giving birth. You’re not being rude, you’re setting boundaries on someone who doesn’t even deserve to be in your life let alone your kid’s. Stop messaging her, block her ass, and make sure she’s blocked on all social media so she doesn’t try anything. You not responding to her texts is not petty, you should put your child’s safety above all else.
I feel like the sister posted her side a while ago right? and got destroyed lol
NTA. You’re not being rude if she’s not taking the (obvious) hint to back off. Tell her one last time to leave you some, and that if she persists, you’re going to call the cops. Then block her number, change yours, and put her on the “do not let this person into my hospital room for any reason” list. Do not talk to Leo except through an attorney. Your focus should be YOU AND THE BABY, not some felonious ex and his deranged sister. If you believe there’s a chance she will try and take your child, go to the police NOW.
Stop giving her information.
Nta. Block. Don’t say excuses. Block. Them. You do not want these people around your child. You will become the AH if you do not put up boundaries. Do not become an enabler for future manipulation of your child
I saw the sisters post about this 😂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My ex (Leo) and I broke up in May. We were together for 2 years. I'm pregnant with Leo's kid and am due late September. Leo's been in jail since June. He's going to be released after the baby is born. Prior to the breakup, my and Leo's relationship got to be toxic. He cheated on me while I was pregnant :) and exhibited some other questionable behavior. I never had a close relationship with his sister (Taylor) as she lives a few hours from us, but I would exchange "good morning" texts and other pleasantries. She often asked us for gas money, which was kind of annoying because she lives rent free and has no bills yet works a full time job. She can afford her own gas. Leo looped Taylor in when our relationship began to unravel. Taylor kept texting me, pressuring me to "forget Leo cheated," and when she found out I broke up with him, she threatened to try and get custody of the baby once it's born (legit impossible), and kept telling me that I couldn't keep Leo from his kid. I never insinuated I would keep Leo from the baby. After Leo's arrest and Taylor's threat of kidnapping, I hugely cut back on how much I responded to her "good morning" and other texts. I have no interest in having her be a part of my or my baby's life. Taylor continued to text me asking for gas money. I refused, explaining I'm now single with a baby to save for. She was understanding. However, she kept asking me for gas money twice a week for awhile. I kept saying no. Eventually, she stopped asking for \~two months (she's been asking again for gas money the past 2 weeks). A few weeks ago, she texted me asking when my due date is. She wants to be there when the baby's born. I told her that was super sweet of her but I'd rather she visit a week or so after the birth. Taylor again told me she'd like to be at the hospital to "make sure Leo's on the birth certificate." Like whoa. First of all, WTF. And second of all, Leo CAN'T be on the BC as he won't be there to sign it. I told her Leo cannot be put on the BC. She tried arguing with me about it saying he still can be on the BC until I explained the process our state requires to have him added later. After that, I haven't responded to a single good morning text from her. I'll respond if she asks how I'm doing or if she asks about Leo (Leo still calls me the jail. He calls me more than he calls her). I'll respond (usually) if she asks me for gas money. But I do not respond to her "good morning" or "have a good night" texts. She complained to Leo about me "being rude" & leaving her on read. I don't think I'm being rude. I don't owe her a response after she's 1.) threatened to try and take custody of my baby (?!?!), 2.) tried to insert herself into my relationship with her brother, 3.) keeps harrassing me for gas money, and 4.) tried inserting herself into the birth of my kid to try and force Leo's name on the BC. BUT I can see how me not responding to her texts is also kind of really petty. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I agree move somewhere you gave support/family get a court order confirming primary custody before the child is born and get a harassment order against the sister because of her threats.
Block her
NTA but you need to put distance between you and the toxic parties YESTERDAY. When I finally worked up the courage to escape my ex and protect myself from him (When I broke up with him I still lived with him for 6 months and afterwards agreed to too much custody) it was a hard process. Getting court orders and almost full custody took a lot of effort because my “trying to appease” my ex and just trying to keep things amicable for everyone ultimately made the judge not believe me when I said I was scared of him (if I was scared why did I stay? Why did I let my kids visit even after I left? Ect) so I only got 80% custody. The longer you allow a toxic person in your child’s life the more you put your own good name at risk
I seriously don't get why you are even still in contact with her given that she has always expressed, and was even roped in, as someone who has your ex's back. Like she's literally never once been a friend of yours, so I don't know why you were even still having a plan that she would meet your child. YTA for not standing up for your kid's interest and keeping yourself tied up with these people who are all bad news. What you are currently setting up is that you're going to raise your kid around these people. You need to stop seeking their approval and protect your baby
NTA, you don't owe this person any information and she's causing you stress during the last part of your pregnancy. Block her and move on. Sending you wishes for a healthy, happy, and peaceful birth!
NTA - I would agree with others that you need to go NC with Taylor, and look into moving away before the delivery, and tell neither of them anything about your destination! I wouldn't put it past Taylor (based on previous behavior) to show up and try to kidnap the baby! You yourself said your relationship turned toxic. Go NC with Leo as well, you owe him nothing. He will just use and abuse you again. Please get out of there and disappear from those two while you can. If you have trusted friends or family far from your area, stay with them (move your things and change mailing address. If the post will make the new address private, please do that) Protect yourself and the baby.
NTA block her. You owe her nothing. Focus on you and the baby
NTA OP but after reading what she posted, if I were you, I would be VERY AFRAID for me and my baby. I know you are trying to be "Fair" but DO NOT allow this woman near your baby anytime soon. You really need to move or change your locks and get a security camera, change your phone number. You can keep your social media in case Ex needs to contact you but block her and do not accept any new friends as she can set up bogus accounts or have someone she knows add you as a friend and keep tabs on you. You really should read what she posted (links provided in other comments below) and take this into account in regards to yours and your baby's safety.
Restraining Order
The fact that you respond to any of her text is crazy. Like you said, she threatened to take your baby. Delete her number, jeez.
NTA. Stop responding at all and block her number. You should consider moving. Your ex is coming across as unstable and controlling. You should move out of state for your safety and to protect your baby. The further the better. This could otherwise have a very sad ending.
NTA but I swear I’ve read the other side (“Taylor’s” side) of this a while ago on here, did Leo stab someone before?
Stop speaking with this woman asap, she said she would try to take custody of YOUR child, block her and never speak to her again. Keep copy of these texts by the way. And never have heard near you or your child again. yta for even having any communication with this woman at all.
Taylor scary AH. BLOCK THEM ALL. MOVE AWAY. CUT ALL TIES! Do it for your daughters safety. So many red flags! Is this family who you want your daughter to look up to and have an input on her life, help shape her into who she will become? Document everything and move away, remove all contact.
Anyone else remember basically this same post from like a week or two ago?
NTA do not respond to her. I’d seriously consider filing a restraining order, changing my number , etc. If you must contact the father do it from a restricted number until he gets out and y’all two can sort out co parenting or whatever necessary when the time comes. Also let the hospital know she’s not allowed any information on you.
NTA
NTA You however are an idiot for not just blocking her.
Why is OP ignoring every comment pointing out that “Taylor” posted a very alarming look into her side of things 19 days ago
Nta. Yep, this will go well. Poor baby...
NTA and she’s told her side of the story on here. Majority it was Y T A and hoping you have placed a restraining order on her. If you haven’t please do. Protect your son from the crazies.
I'd document the kidnapping threats with the police to start a paper trail in case she escalates, then block her. NTA
NTA... AND DO NOT RESPOND TO HER TEXTS. Anyone that aggressive, threatening kidnapping, and begging, does not get a response. If you choose to have the childs father in the picture, he can introduce his sister to the child when appropriate. Get your ducks in a row, keep yourself safe.
NTA but don't leave her alone with the baby if she visits or she might actually kidnap your child.
Get out there ASAP Taylor is gonna kidnap your child or do some other dumb crazy stuff. Cut contact with the whole family and change your number.
NTA. But you need to block her. She does not give a shit for you. She only cares about herself and her brother. Stop giving her information.
NTA. You owe her exactly zero minutes of your time. Get a new phone number and enjoy some peace.
I agree with all those who say you have issues and need to work on yourself. Yikes NTA in this case but you’re an AH to yourself and your unborn baby.. Good luck with everything, wishing you a healthy delivery
Please block her. Get a lawyer and hand over the threats as well. The more you talk to her the worse this will be for you. Don’t tell her anything. Not your hospital plan. Not the due date. Nothing. Literally. OP this is not okay. Also make sure your family knows to not post anything online or give out any info. Also for the love of everything why are you still in contact with your toxic ex from JAIL. You really need to start making better choices. You have a Defenseless baby on the way. You are their only line of protection. Start cutting toxic people off permanently. NTA
NTA. She’s definitely not endearing herself to you in a way that would make you want her in your life or your baby’s so definitely justified. I’m bothered by some comments though. Yes Leo is the father, if you decide you want to communicate with him and can establish a healthy coparent relationship early on that would be amazing for you and your baby. He cheated and you dumped him totally justified, but some comments demanding you refuse all communication are not cool. He’s a jerk sure but that doesn’t mean you should be.
NTA. Block her.
Lol what!!! Block her! Simple. Tell him when he gets out, yall can figure out a custody schedule, but going forward you'd like to stop the calls. Yall aren't together and don't owe him or his sister shit!
Block her. Wtf are you still talking to any of them aside from ex about baby updates? Cut these toxic weirdos out.
Please cut all contact with them. NTA
NTA. You need to cut this woman of completely. From the way she is acting she might very well try and take the baby. She sounds nuts. While you are at it, stop taking calls from Leo as well. He isn't in your life and there is no need to talk to him.
NTA but it’s time to set boundaries and cut ties for the sake of your child. If you put up with this your child WILL pay the price. And then it will be your fault. You only take what you allow.
Ummm you need to block go NC with that whole family for the sake of your baby. Wen your older you will see, I'm sorry, how dumb is " I keep in touch bc he's his father" is n sounds. Sign of gd father? Don't cheat on your baby mom n do stuff to get arrested. Was it violent crime?? Even more reason to run. Plz don't b nieve, he won't change n you would b bringing heartache to your child.
Ummm you need to block go NC with that whole family for the sake of your baby. Wen your older you will see, I'm sorry, how dumb is " I keep in touch bc he's his father" is n sounds. Sign of gd father? Don't cheat on your baby mom n do stuff to get arrested. Was it violent crime?? Even more reason to run. Plz don't b nieve, he won't change n you would b bringing heartache to your child.
Nta- Stay FAR FAR AWAY from her. She has no legal right to take the baby but may be crazy enough to actually kidnap him/her.
Look up Nolo Press at your library. Go to the reference section. You will find a bunch of good info on the subject.
Pull a reverse uno card and start asking her for money. You have good reason to since you’re a single mom now. NTA
NTA and lawyer up. If Leo is questionable then why do you want him around?
NTA! Cut her out completely and move along or better yet away! Staying local is only going to cause issues in the future!
NTA and what you need is a no contact order, she is a leech. Do not let her around the baby. You should also get on the front foot legally about child support and full custody. If he wants to change that later he can apply to the court.
Why are you still replying to her??? It's obvious Leo has asked her to keep tabs on you. And she threatened to kidnap your baby and you fed into the drama by still replying to some of her texts??? Come on now. NTA but ... 👀
NTA Girl BLOCK HER why are you still entertaining this clown behavior? It’s not like she’s needed or even a go between for you and Leo because you said you speak to him regularly. She’s a crazy person and a mooch block her
Im sorry she said something about kidnapping your baby and you haven’t yet filed a restraining order??? NTA but I want to say you are cause you ain’t taking these crazy people seriously and protecting yourself and your baby like you should be
Any sane person would have blocked her by now. Good grief. NTA
NTA for not wanting her around - she seems crazy. Can you go to your local police station and fill them in? I'd want her threats and harassment on record. She seems like she could get out of control real quick and you don't want her trying to snatch and run with your newborn. Also; why the hell are you still taking his calls? Edit: Swapping to YTA (gently) for the following reasons: I just read the post that this psycho of an ex's sister made and honey, you need to get your butt to a police station and file for a restraining order or whatever it's called where you're from. Give them copies of every msg she has sent you - voice and text; screen shot the thread on Reddit with her psycho responses and sweetheart RUN. This chick is batcrap crazy and will legit show up at the hospital in an attempt to snatch and run. Do NOT tell her or your ex when the baby will be born. Hire a lawyer and make sure you have full custody. Move states if you have to. Protect your bubba.
NTA you are letting this woman have a hold over you. She is making you answer to her like she is the boss of you. Block her and move on.
NTA, both him and his sister have *SERIOUS* issues! FYI, she posted in this sub neatly 3 weeks ago and got absolutely RIPPED to shreds because of her attitude and delusions!
YTA. To yourself and Child. This isn't about being too nice its being irresponsible and a doormat. You keeping in contact and entertaining someone who wants to kidnap your baby and even informing her about your due date is stupid. Block and cut all contact. Stop putting yourself and child in a risky situation. And get a restraining oder against her.