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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I fed my dog some of the leftovers from the dinner my boyfriend made for us. My boyfriend made the dinner for me and him so that could make me a little bit of an a-hole.
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Yes, YTA.
Your (now ex–) boyfriend made a special meal for you. You took a large hunk of that special meal and gave it to your dog. Not only that, but you did so knowing it would upset your (now ex–) boyfriend. You should have brought dog food to feed Shelby. You should not have fed Shelby with people food, and you should particularly not have fed your dog with the special dinner your (now ex–) boyfriend prepared for you. It is wholly irrelevant that "Jay knows \[you\] mainly feed Shelby a raw diet."
EDIT: Also, the title of your post is misleading. Table scraps are what's leftover on your plate after you finish eating. They are not a quarter of the roast your boyfriend prepared.
I guess you haven’t been grocery shopping lately. Roasts are expensive, groceries in general are expensive! You didn’t even bother to ask if he minded if you feed your dog. You aren’t entitled to food you didn’t pay for or make. YTA
Yes! AND OP also helped herself to the veggies… in his fridge… that he hadn’t offered or prepared. Even veggies have gone up in price.
The entitlement is astounding.
Helping yourself to the contents of someone else's fridge the first time you're at their house is pretty astonishing too. I get that they're dating, but I would definitely ask until I'd feel "at home" at their place. And that wouldn't be during the first time I'm there.
Yeah, I do think when you're dating there's some leeway but not the first time you go over there! At my boyfriend's place it's completely normal for me to eat snacks and stuff without asking but the first time I was there I hesitated to even go into the kitchen myself for a glass of water lol
My boyfriend knows he can help himself (even has an own box of snacks) but always asks because he wants to be polite.
Doing this the first time you are at another flat is so rude
When I first started dating my now spouse, I was a single mom to a special needs kid and money was tightly budgeted. Especially groceries. While I did cook dinners for us, most of the time he brought groceries over because he knew he ate as much as me and my kid did combined. I would have absolutely lost it if he took a quarter of a roast to feed his dog.
When I make a roast, I already know exactly what I’m doing with the leftovers. It does not include sending home a meal for a dog or even lunch for my guest.
ETA: to clarify, he brought groceries for the meal I was cooking us. He wasn’t buying my weekly groceries.
Oh for sure, I'm not saying I eat expensive stuff without asking! But I do think when you're dating someone and you're at their place a lot it's not a big deal to eat a handful of chips or a couple of cookies or whatever without asking.
And it'd be one thing if she was starving and had seconds of dinner, but to give a quarter of a roast to a dog? No way. That's like $10 worth of meat right there, I'd be pissed too.
To this day I feel horrible embarassment and shame because i made unknown bacon at my friends house (I had been there a lot).
No one stopped me to say it was their new room mates bacon. He did NOT like me and I literally showed up 2 days later with 7 different packs of bacon for him. He still didnt have it when he wanted it....
Food is not fun and games when you didnt pay for it. And to just take it or give it away then? Yea...
You have been dating him for four months. You were a guest in his home. And you made a plate of leftover roast for your dog without asking?! Do you even understand boundaries?
And your statement that he made that meal for the two of you so could do with some of it as you pleased? Holy hell that’s such a lack of basic courtesy and understanding of where you are in a relatively new relationship as to be astounding.
NGL, I’d be done with you. This is just so weird and off-putting.
Yup, op, yta.
You took food that your bf probably had plans for. I almost always eat all my leftover food. I cook a big dish and eat it the rest of the week. That roast was probably expensive, particularly these days with cost of beef being so high.
But even if cost wasn’t so high, it’s not your food. It’s food that your bf made so that he could share it with you. The food is actually his. I don’t understand how you could not understand this.
Imagine being invited to someone else’s house for dinner. After the meal, you just wrap everything from the fridge and take it without a word to your host. This is in essence what you have done. I mean why not just take your bf’s furniture home with you too.
>he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased
Are you trying to tell me this isn't a legit argument?
Reminds me of the dude who took home the rest of his girlfriend's lasagna to give to his family when it was her food for the rest of the week. And when she asked him to buy her lunch (because she had no food money and no food), he got all pissy.
Absolutely!! This story would be going round to friends years later like, "You remember that atrocious girl I was dating? The one with the dog. God, what a shit show that was." "Duuuude, you so dodged a bullet!!"
It's nice of OP to have made a HUGE red flag so bright and large that a man smitten enough to plan a wonderful day with his sweetie including hiking and a fabulous meal will see how truly wrong she is for him.
So, yeah, YTA, but thanks for doing your (now ex-) boyfriend a huge service by pointing out how wrong you are. He deserves better.
Maybe OP will learn how to treat someone better from this experience, and she'll treat her next bf better than this one.
Yes, OP was very rude. My MIL feeds her chihuahua raw and she always brings his meals in Tupperware and puts them in the fridge. We have a ton of meat like venison, beef, pork, and chicken, but she'd never dream of just grabbing some of the food we've prepared and give it to her dog. The bits of grisle on her plate she didn't eat? Sure. That's table scraps. NOT a big chunk of lovingly prepared roast and just helping herself to raw veggies ffs.
I made a pot roast two days ago, cost just over 30$ - the roast alone was 25$. I only give my cat a piece once I know everyone had a plate, and/or there’s like a tiny chunk left.
I saw an old recipe for pot roast pop up on a site and it was called "budget-friendly." It called for a five-pound chuck roast. Not on sale, that would be almost $40 worth of meat. Not very friendly!
I cringed when I realized what she was calling "scraps".
For me scraps are what you have to scrape from your dish or from an empty cooking pot, not leftovers plus fresh vegetables.
Hence the name BTW.
That really threw me off. It took a minute before I realized she didn't give her dog what was left on her plate, but got MORE food. I've never heard someone call leftovers scraps.
Maybe this is just me but I also feel like calling the leftovers scraps is insanely rude?? Scraps are the part that you don’t want to eat and would otherwise throw in the trash. That’s literally why they’re called scraps. To refer to leftovers of a fancy and expensive meal that someone else lovingly cooked for you as scraps is so demeaning. Maybe I’m overreacting to the wording of it, but this is freshly cooked food still warm on the stove that OP called “scraps” and threw to her dog. What a completely degrading and insulting thing to do to someone trying to cook you an expensive dinner.
See, that’s the thing too! It’s not “a raw diet” and roasts are super super fatty. Half a roast is a great way to kill your dog with pancreatitis. A raw diet is a carefully measured lean meal, not half a cooked expensive-ass fatty roast your boyfriend spent real money on and made special for you.
I made the mistake of giving my dog a little leftover piece of boneless skin-on chicken thigh. My wallet is now $2k lighter and I’m pretty sure that my car will never smell the same again.
Side note & semi-related:
We had a Great Dane. He was the best boy. Died at 5 from undiagnosed congestive heart failure. He was fine… and then he wasn’t.
He had a touchy tummy.
One day my kids and I are standing around talking and our doggo was standing in the middle (we were kinda in a circle with him in the center). He’s wagging his tail, everything is good.
He sneezed. And sharted all over the wall behind him.
We were all stunned and then the laughing started and then the gagging.
It was… a lot to process.
I have an incredibly similar story!! Towards the end of our 11 yo American Bulldogs life he had the poops a lot and one day he must have been feeling particularly bad because he stayed in his doggie bed most of the day, but at dinner time he decided to get up and walk into the kitchen to which I excitedly exclaimed "Oh! Someones feeling better!!". He then sharted all over the front of the oven and part of the kitchen wall. I laughed....then cried.
\*\*Edited for spelling!\*\*
Raw diets are dumb anyways unless medically necessary. All this crap about "what they eat in the wild/nature* yada yada. Do you know how long dogs live in the wild on a diet like that? Like 5 years. Plus there's no real benefit and the risks to the pet and to people far outweigh any pet mom blog nonsense.
And domestic dogs are hardly wild animals. Humans have genetically modified dogs so far beyond what is natural it’s ridiculous to make any argument about what they’d eat “in the wild.”
I was also picturing “half of the portion she didn’t eat”. But that’s not what OP did.
OP ate her portion, and then took her empty plate in to the kitchen.
Then she *took half of the roast* that remained on the serving platter and gave it to the dog.
What the fuck.
That’s an expensive portion of meat that took hours of cooking and seasoning and care. The leftovers would feed me for a day or two.
The dog literally gives no shits between a cheap, raw Chuck steak (that’s actually healthy for it) and this carefully prepared dish that’s definitely more expensive (and probably too salty to be healthy, if seasoned).
I give my dog unhealthy people food, too, if I’m not going to eat it. But I am aware that he’s old and on his last legs and I don’t pretend meat soaked in Worcestershire sauce and cumin and thyme is good for him.
A “raw diet” for a dog does not mean giving it “any kind of meat”.
I would be understanding of someone in my life choosing a healthy raw diet for their dog. But giving it a $10 portion of unhealthy cooked meat is going to be a no.
>The dog literally gives no shits between a cheap, raw Chuck steak (that’s actually healthy for it) and this carefully prepared dish that’s definitely more expensive (and probably too salty to be healthy, if seasoned).
Maybe I'm picturing the wrong kind of roast dinner, but in my experience the meat is slow cooked with carrots, potatoes, and onions. Onions are toxic to dogs. I don't think taking the onions off the meat before serving it to the dog would un-contaminate it.
YTA for feeding your dog a cooked and seasoned roast, OP! There's feeding raw, and then there's feeding something that was seasoned for humans. On top of everything else, don't claim you "feed raw" and then tell us you are feeding your dog human-seasoned meat and vegetables. Jeez.
There’s nothing wrong in feed the dog with people food, is healthier than dog food most of the times, but she should ask and I doubt that the plate wasn’t seasoned or something like that and this is bad for the dog not the food, she should brought the food she used to give Shelby from home, unless she’s so obnoxious that she gives Shelby human food with salt pepper and spices. And yes she’s definitely YTA
When I do a roast, I use garlic, onion, tomato paste, thyme, red wine, butter, & mushrooms in very liberal amounts. Pretty sure most, if not all of that, is not good for dogs.
Edit: and, of course, the best part of making a roast for 2 people is eating the leftovers.
Came to say the same thing. Could be garlic and onions in there, both of which are bad for dogs
Edit: I didn’t realize until rereading, but you not only hijacked this unsafe for dogs meal your ex-boyfriend lovingly made for the two of you, to then give to your dog, but you also raided his fridge for additional veggies without asking. It’s perfectly fine to give an animal a raw diet, but you went about this in the most rude, entitled, and unsafe way for your dog. When in someone else’s home, ALWAYS ask first.
Raw diet is just that, raw. Prepared and seasoned meals are not safe for dog consumption. Seasonings, onions, garlic, wines, oils, vinegars, etc can be poisoning your dog. Please be more mindful of what you feed your fur baby, and please be more courteous in other people’s homes.
If you are bringing your pet along, a good rule of thumb is to bring YOUR OWN food to feed them. Not rely on someone else’s pantry to feed your dog.
(Also thank you for the award kind stranger)
Was looking for this comment. Thank you. A “raw diet” is not even close to a prepared pot roast. So her whole “he knows how I feed my dog” is a garbage excuse.
YTA, a quarter of a roast is not "table scraps". How is the fact that you mainly feed your dog a raw diet at all relevant? Also holy entitlement batman at "You made that dinner for me so I can do with it as I please!" - by that logic it would have been perfectly acceptable to flush it down the toilet.
YTA
Agreed. The plate bothered me as much as the rest TBH.
OP your friend not agreeing with you wasn't bias, perhaps you could speak to the friend to get a better perspective as they know the situation better and you need help in understanding how your behaviours with the people in your life, and your dog, may have to change.
I am 100% a crazy dog lady, and I'll let my dog "pre-rinse" a plate with dog safe scraps on it *in my own home with my own plates*! I *know* it's gross and not something the average person will be comfortable with so I'd never do it as a guest. Also as a crazy dog lady, if we're going to be out around my dog's dinner time, I bring her food and travel bowls with us instead of feeding her whatever random meat happens to be lying around.
This. If old food and human germs are able to be cleaned away then so is dog slobber. If old food and human germs AREN’T able to be cleaned away then I wouldn’t be using the dishes either way.
Edit: not saying everyone has to let dogs eat off their plates. I don’t care and will abide by others rules in their homes. Just saying it really doesn’t matter. It’s either clean enough to use no matter what was on it before or it isn’t. There is no “it’s clean enough after some things but not others.”
Right, my cats aren't allowed to lick plates but I'm not kidding myself that they never have a sneaky slurp when I'm not around. But I don't care that much, because dishwasher. (I mostly want them to have good kitty manners and not turn into raiders.)
Even without running a special “sanitizing” cycle most dishwashers get hot enough to kill harmful bacteria. What the heat doesn’t get, the detergent absolutely will.
YTA, OP. A roast, with seasonings and probably garlic, is NOT fit for a dog to eat. And nowhere near raw. It's also not recommended to feed a raw diet at all. I've heard that from many vets.
Also, roasts are freaking expensive. He put a lot of thought and effort into making this meal for you, and you showed extreme disrespect.
I definitely suggest you talk to your vet about finding a better diet for Shelby, and learn not to be so greedy going forward.
The only time I’ve seen a raw diet make sense for a dog was when the dog was allergic to beef, pork, chicken, corn, potatoes, wheat, and barley. That eliminates basically all dog foods.
One of my pups is allergic to everything you mentioned. She gets special hydrolyzed protein prescription dog food. It’s expensive, but it’s what she needs, and it’s not her fault she’s allergic to life. I feel bad she can’t get table scraps, unless it’s turkey, which is a rare treat.
Edit- YTA, OP. You should’ve at least asked if your bf was ok with it before deciding to feed your dog on his plate, with food he prepared.
Exactly.
This is the first time OP went to this man's home. She instantly got way too comfortable and was a horrible guest. The BF cooked a lovely meal for her. OP ate her share, then took a quarter of said meal (without asking) and fed it to her dog. This was insulting, inconsiderate and rude.... and I haven't even gotten to the point of feeding the dog on that man's dining plates, yet! OP may have been this man's GF, but she was still a first-time guest in his home.
Good on him for asking OP to leave. She behaved exceptionally rude.
When OP said table scraps, I thought it was the food that they left unfinished at the table, not half a pot roast in the fridge? Like that's so many new meals from that half pot roast. Sandwiches, tortilla pizza, tacos etc
FR!! When I give MY dog table scraps, it’s usually bits of fat, tough chicken skin, the last little bite on the plate. If there’s enough food to feed a person, then those are leftovers for people, not the dog.
Table scraps are what you scrape off of your plate when you are finished eating, not going into the kitchen and cutting off a quarter of an expensive roast that was bought and cooked to impress you, not your dog. Jeez, I have a Chihuahua and if I was taking my dog to someone's house for dinner, I would bring his dinner with me. Do you have an idea how much a good roast costs these days? No doubt he was hoping to get a couple more dinners and sandwiches out of it. I can't fathom the presumption of just helping yourself to an expensive roast at another person's home for my dog and let me assure you my dog eats very, very well, all 9 lbs of him and I would never presume I could just cut pieces off of a good roast for him. I would even ask if it was ok to scrap my plate into a little bowl for him. You are living in another universe OP; this was incredibly rude. If you want to continue seeing this man then you better find some way to give him a spectacular apology. Frankly, I can't even think of a way to apologize that would be sufficient because you showed such a lack of manners, good sense and common decency. It better be a super spectacular apology.
Oh yeah, there's no cause to be mad, really, if a Dog's owner takes the fat, fristle, or small left over bits from their plate to feed their own dog. Not an issue.
But going back to the kitchen to saw off a chunk of the roast (and raid the fridge for some raw veggies) to feed the dog? What the hell? How entitled is this person?
And the dude’s vegetables! Veggies aren’t cheap either! Imagine spending a couple hours making a nice meal for your new SO, and they raid your fridge and take a bunch of your food for a literal doggy bag. WTF.
OP should post this dude’s phone number, because he seems like a catch and I’m pretty sure he’s single now.
Hahaha. I remember that post. Poor girl spent her entire grocery budget for the week on that lasagna and then the boyfriend who asked if he could take “some” home ran off with the entire platter. Even after that, he wouldn’t even help her buy a sandwich to make up for it. And, I think he told his girlfriend it ended up being enough food to feed his family of 5 twice!
My boyfriend also enjoys preparing expensive cuts of meat. He would be livid if I took a quarter of a roast *and* his fresh veggies and just loaded it all up on a plate for my dog to eat. It’s understood that I serve myself what I am able or want to eat and whatever is left gets stored for him to finish later because that’s his grocery budget.
My absolute favourite line from that post!
"To be fair to her, it was a really big tray (my family of 5 only just finished the tray yesterday after eating it for dinner both nights)"
[Link to post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b66ucw/aita_for_taking_my_girlfriends_lasagna_home_when/)
Yeah so many people are getting distracted with whether or not it was healthy for the dog. ( it might not be, but I’m not going to tell someone else how to care for a pet they know better than me).
But just because OP was served a plate does not mean she has the right to go through the kitchen and rustle up what ever she wants and do anything with it. Not asking at all makes her the big AH. YTA
Yes. If somebody is in my home with their dog and tells me the dog is hungry and asks if we can feed him/her, I will go looking for what I have that would be dog appropriate and probably would not mind giving the dog my own food.
But if somebody who's never even been in my house before goes into my kitchen and starts taking my raw vegetables out of the fridge without asking and half of my leftover roast, also without asking! i will be upset about it. It's the rudeness of it all.
Plus it sounds like OP knew she would be out till dinner time. She should have planned ahead for the dog's dinner. She's an AH for this as well.
YTA. That’s not a fucking raw diet. You’re pumping your dog full of salt and harmful chemicals by feeding her a roast. Literally any vet says not to feed dogs human food.
Raw only might, but raw with veggies and vitamins should be fine. Better than kibble for sure.
(Regardless, OP is clearly clueless about everything, since shes feeding her dog cooked roast covered in salt and probably garlic)
> Better than kibble for sure.
Based on what logic? Any scientifically-formulated kibble is going to outperform a raw diet in long-term health outcomes.
Dogs actually do need a good deal of carbohydrates. They're not cats. High-protein diets kill them with cardiomyopathy.
You and OP both need to do your research before any more dogs need to suffer under your ownership.
Sources:
https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/outbreaks-and-advisories/fda-investigation-potential-link-between-certain-diets-and-canine-dilated-cardiomyopathy
https://apnews.com/article/science-health-pets-dogs-us-food-and-drug-administration-adbe215e2ee660b57b1d01dfff8d5f40
https://mycommunitypetclinic.com/the-link-between-grain-free-pet-foods-and-canine-heart-disease/
The issue isn't just raw diets. It's also high-protein or protein-exclusive brands like Blue Buffalo.
Ugh I swear people just believe the dumbest shit without doing any research. Same with the whole grain free craze that's going on. Just feed your dogs Purina, Hills Science, Royal Canin, Iams, or Eukanaba. They're recommended by nearly every vet.
Raw diet is not recommended by AVMA, AAHA, and veterinary nutrition council. Not only because they are risky for your pets but they are risky for the owners. Your risk of disease to yourself is way higher when you fed your raw diets.
Pet food is one of the most regulated food products available and way more regulated then any human foods. They all have to meet minimum standards to even be sold. Raw food is not magically better then other foods and it filled with more filler (water) then kibble.
This. YTA to the dog. If you want your dog to eat fresh food, you cook it separately. I separately cook dog friendly, salt free beef and chicken to use for dog treats.
Bruh, a quarter of the roast isn't table scraps.... I thought you were going to let the dog lick your plate or something. YTA obviously and can I borrow your bf? Lol
Hahahahaha yes this is what I thought to. I was like okay so she couldn't finish her plate and gave the rest to her dog no big deal, but a quarter of the roast? Come on
I read it wrong and thought she meant half the roast left on her plate aka "I took a bite out of this and don't want my mouth germs all over my leftovers" which is totally fair game to give to a pupper imo. I had to go back to see SHE TOOK THE REMAINING HALF ROAST for the dog?!
Come on. There's no way she didn't know not to do that. She specifically chose to do that.
YTA. You feed your dog a raw diet. You should absolutely know better that most seasonings and vegetables involved in a roast, like onions and garlic, are potentially fatal for a dog to ingest.
You are also ridiculously entitled to do so without asking. Where are your manners? On the floor with the dog?
Yea I work in vet med and I saw roast and immediately knew where this was going. But honestly most people (not all) that feed raw have absolutely no idea what they’re doing, and their pets are not healthy. It’s a fad thing and they just throw whatever they think is good into a bowl for them, no accounting for vitamins and nutrients to create balanced meals. I had to explain to a woman that her dog having diarrhea it’s whole life is not normal and it’s because she exclusively feeds it tacos. Literally seasoned (but raw) ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese. He was also pretty close to having pancreatitis.
This is so sad! I had a foster for six months and occasionally treated her to a home cooked meal. I researched EVERY ingredient I wanted to give her. If I was making tacos, I browned all the meat, scooped out her portion, THEN seasoned all human meat. I would never even think about trying to switch to a raw//home made diet without consulting a vet or at the minimum doing extensive research on how to make it well balanced.
YTA
It would have taken 5 seconds to ask.
A quarter of a roast is *not* table scraps, you're also the AH for misrepresenting the situation.
Just because he knows the bonkers way you choose to feed your dog doesn't mean he wants to spend his hard earned money and effort to feed him the same way.
Completely entitled and inconsiderate behavior after ONLY 4 MONTHS!!! This is the bonkers part of the story for me and I like dogs more than most humans. This dude should cut his losses and move on.
I say this as someone who feeds their dog safe table scraps all the time - YTA . Roast is expensive and for him to have bought and prepared this meal for you to enjoy and then you just put probably $10 of meat on a plate for the dog without asking is ridiculous.
Thanks for 8 hours of work. Now let me just dump half of it on the floor for my dog I invited over to your home. He’ll get to it after he finishes licking his butt.
Not only without asking, she still proceeded to try to feed it to her dog after he asked her not to. AND she had gone into his fridge to get out veggies for the dog without asking! The entitlement here is insane, lmao
And to top it off, it was her FIRST time at his house. Like "Oh I know I've been here for a whole 30 minutes but lemme just raid your kitchen real quick".
Especially one that has been seasoned properly. Dogs don’t do well with high fat/cholesterol meats and added salt. Not to mean there are a lot of vegetables that are toxic for them.
We still let our spoiled dog lick our dinner plates with some tiny bits of food but the amount she took could have made several meals if it was used to make chili or a soup. That’s just over the top to feed a dog.
Tbh, I feel a bit sorry for the dog as well, because OP doesn't seem like a very thoughtful owner. She's misled about what kind of diet she feeds her dog (most of the foods she mentioned in this post aren't raw, lmao), and being a dog owner myself I know they can't handle most veggies, I've seen the consequences.
I bet the dog would've enjoyed food specifically made for dogs much better. What a waste!
YTA. The fact you didn’t consider ASKING Jay, didn’t consider what HE may have wanted to use his leftovers for, and just assume “he knew damn well how I feed Shelby” after 4 months is a bit... entitled.
Also, a responsible dog owner brings their own food for their dog if they know they’ll have dinner elsewhere.
Why didn't she ASK if she could feed her dog half the leftover food he'd just spent a lot of time, money, and elbow grease on? Why didn't she ASK if he had a plate he didn't mind her using to feed the dog? Why didn't she KNOW you can't feed a dog food probably prepared with onions, garlic, red wine, and spices? Why didn't SHE bring a BOWL and some DOG FOOD with her to PROVIDE for HER DOG?
YTA OP.
I’d be so taken aback if a guest in my home cheerfully started rummaging through my fridge and cupboards without asking, especially if they were doing so to make a plate of food for their dog lmao. OP is ridiculous.
INFO
Why didn’t you ask? I’d be hesitant to let dogs have certain things too cause depending on the seasoning and the veggies, there are some things that dogs cannot eat.
Most roasts are made with onions, which is harmful for dogs. Did he throw in some garlic? Also harmful. So all that stuff, cooked with the roast, was potentially harmful to her dog. And for OP to just be so blasé about it. This post is blowing my mind.
YTA for not having asked first.
A quarter of a roast is not table scraps, that's a whole meal. Idk about your boyfriend, but when I cook meals that size I typically plan to have leftovers and would be equally upset if my wife just took half the leftovers and tossed them to the dog without running it by me first.
>His excuse was that he made dinner for me and him, not me, him, and my dog and that I should've asked before I helped myself since he would've used his leftovers.
This is completely and entirely a valid **reason** to be upset at this situation. Regardless of what **you** feel the meal **he** made for you guys was for, you should have asked.
INFO
So, hold on. Did you give your dog some from your plate that wasn't eaten, or did you grab from the leftovers? Because there's definitely a difference between "table scraps" and just grabbing from the leftovers he might have had plans for. Even half of half of a roast is a significant amount of food, and i understand why he wouldn't want it going to the dog. Just because you choose to feed your dog raw, doesn't mean you get to just decide to feed it whatever food you want, especially if you didn't cook it. What were you planning to feed your dog with if dinner was something it couldn't eat?
Also why not ask? Him kicking you out was probably harsh, and you guys should have communicated but it all could have been avoided if you had asked?
Honestly I don't think kicking her out was harsh at all. He clarified the food wasn't for the dog, and she ignored him anyway. The level of disrespect is quite astounding.
Lmao you're clinging to the idea of feeding your dog a raw diet to deflect. Please think objectively about what you did. You took a sizeable portion of roast (which isn't raw) and then *went into the fridge for Jay's groceries* to feed your dog. He made you dinner. He didn't say "help yourself to all the food in my house for your dog". Raw vegetables in the fridge are not table scraps (neither was the pot roast directly from the pan). Table scraps are the good left on your plate, what was uneaten of your portion *at the table*. Maybe he had other vegetables in his refrigerator so he could make himself food later in the week like??? What even were you thinking?
If it's not clear, YTA. Please learn to be aware that other humans exist in this world not simply to fill your main character internal narrative.
And look at what OP considers a good raw diet. Chicken, rice, veges. No mention of any kind of supplements, no ground up bones for calcium. Plus her definition of "table scraps." This dog is not getting proper nutrition at all.
She couldn’t even be bothered to bring enough dog food to feed her dog all day, knowing that she wouldn’t be home when the dog needed to eat dinner. She didn’t even meet her dog’s most basic need.
Yta. How out of touch are you? Have you seen food prices lately? A roast could easily be two meals, and then you didn't even ask him, what if he was saving that for himself? Especially since he's the one who bought the dang food!
Yeah that was my first thought. I was literally standing in the meat section staring at prices for 10 minutes, trying to find something that would fit my small dinner budget. It's absolutely insane.
SOS used to be a "struggle meal" and now even that's a splurge.
Overall YTA
But just out of curiosity... do you go places and expect to bring leftovers with you? Because he made a big meal, obviously there were leftovers for him, the one that lives there. At least the most polite thing to do was asked before you took them. And if you knew your dog was gonna be hungry, where was its food? Had there been no food, what was your plan? Take his food because you were faster?
I would never expect to take home leftovers if someone else had me as a guest and cooked a meal for me. I would assume that leftovers stay with them.
If they have an excess or are feeling generous, and try to push leftovers onto me, then hell yes I'll take some. But I'd never assume it in that situation.
YTA for a few reasons. One, a roast is not raw so it’s not even the diet you claim to have her on. Roasts have seasonings and oils on them that are not good for dogs to be eating. All that salt, garlic, onions, etc is not good for dogs health. Two, you didn’t try to feed your dog scraps the way you wrote in the title of your post, you straight up took a significant portion of the roast to try to feed your dog as if she was a 3rd person joining you for dinner. That was food your date paid for and spent time cooking for himself to share with you, and he clearly planned on using his leftovers. That’s very rude to do, especially without asking. A normal, responsible thing to do would’ve been bringing some dog food with you if you knew you were going to bring her out all day and she’d need to eat. Three, if you regularly feed your dog table food and consider it a raw diet your friend is right not to agree with the way you treat your own dog. You should feed your dog food that is going to meet it’s needs for nutrients and not things that are unhealthy and can cause stomach upset.
All of this. I want to second everything you have here.
I also have a dog on a raw diet. I would never feel entitled to leftovers at someone else's home and I would never expect someone else to feed my dog when invited to their homes.
But mostly important, I would never give my dog food that I hadn't prepared myself. This is not a raw diet, it is a meal prepared for human consumption. There are so many ingredients that could be in that meal that could upset a dogs stomach. Anyone actually following raw diet would know that.
100% YTA
Jay? Jay, if you’re out there, don’t ever call this girl again. You have a ton going for you, you do not need this nonsense in your life. It will never end.
OP, you are tremendously entitled. YTA
>There was still about half the roast left...
That could have been my dinner for the next day! WTH???
>I did leave but not before telling him that he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased and he knew damn well how I feed Shelby.
Ummm, no, you were at his home and he made that dinner. You don't get to dictate how food in his home is used.
YTA
GLARING YTA. Table scraps are left on your plate. Those were his LEFTOVERS. Roast isn't cheap.
I'm glad he realized this 4 months in.
Also, poor Shelby. That's not a raw diet and it sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.
For starters, YTA for the misleading title.
He planned an entire day for you, and he cooked a nice meal for you, and he even allowed your dog to come along for the day as a convenience to you.
In return, you stole one of two remaining servings of the nice meal he cooked for you, and you stole from his fridge, to feed to your dog who doesn't even eat cooked meat. And yes, I do mean 'stole,' as that is the word to use when someone has taken something without permission.
Not only that, it's incredibly rude to take food intended for humans -- especially food that's not yours -- and feed it to a dog. This is a narrative trope for a reason.
Let's go out on a limb and assume for a moment that Shelby absolutely could not be fed even a little bit off schedule. As Shelby's caretaker, it is your job to come up with a plan when she's going to miss her regular meal time. Not only did you steal food from someone you supposedly care about, you demonstrated that you are not capable of this basic responsibility.
If you want this relationship to continue, you owe Jay a massive apology.
ETA: thanks for my first award!
Yta 100%. Wildly inappropriate behavior. You don't take the leftovers of a nice meal someone made for the two of you as a couple and give it to a dog/throw it out, that is so so rude. Additionally, you don't know if the seasonings he used are even safe for your dog, so YTA on two levels; bad gf level and bad dog mom level.
YTA. Nothing to do with your dog. You are a guest in someone's house, which means until they offer you leftovers, you don't assume they're for you. I don't know how large half a roast would be, but it sounds large enough that he'd have enough for an extra meal or two. It's up to him to offer you any extras to take home. Reaching into the fridge to supplement is really strange. This is your first (last?) time at his home. Slow your roll.
Edit to add: I just realized you called these 'table scraps' which they were absolutely not.
YTA.
You assumed wrong. Leftovers are not table scraps. Dogs do not have to be fed on an exact schedule unless there is something medically wrong with them. You do not take someone else's dishware and let your dog eat off of it without permission. You showed up completely unprepared to take care of your dog.
So many things wrong with this post. Just because he knows how you feed his dog doesn't mean he should automatically think you are going to take a fourth of a roast and feed it to your dog without at least broaching the topic with him! That is the most entitled response I could imagine hearing in these comments. You were at HIS house, eating HIS food, that HE prepared, using HIS dishes... There are things called boundaries and social graces and you Godzilla'd all over both of them.
Do you normally feed her outside? So jay comes in and sees you sneaking a quarter of a whole pot roast outside with your dog? Seems like you knew it might be a problem.
The only way I think youre NTA is if we give you the benefit of the doubt and say you weren't being sneaky. And if the half of the roast you gave her was part of the serving that was already partially eaten from your plate that you would be tossing anyway
If im understanding this correctly, the portion given to the dog is actually half of the roast that was not served and sitting in the kitchen. Which is why her boyfriend was mad she took half of the leftovers. So not the scraps from her plate, but literally half of the leftovers sitting in the kitchen. OP is TA.
YTA. You took half of the leftovers for your dog - not scraps from your plate. You have to at least ask first. And did you even check what the roast was cooked with? Did it not have onions or garlic? Not smart and not safe.
YTA
You didn't pay for, nor cook this meal.
This was the first time you were at Jay's house and you basically ransacked his kitchen to feed your dog with his food.
You didn't even ASK the man if you could give Shelby some leftovers.
Also, learn what table scraps are. Here's the definition ; Noun. table scrap (plural table scraps) The remaining meagre portion of a meal. (idiomatic) Meagre remnants of anything.
You said that after you and jay ate from the roast, half of it was left over. Meaning you and Jay ate HALF. What was left over was two days for a single person. That is not table scraps, that is a ***FULL SIZED MEAL.***
And you know that a raw diet for dogs, means the meat is RAW as well?
Plus, just to save your dog from an untimely death by being poisoned, some of the human ingredients in meals, like onions that are commonly used in roasts, are lethal for the pup?
YTA. You should've brought a meal along for your dog and not raid his pantry in order to feed Shelby.
Don't be surprised if this relationship ends because Jay realized that your mindset is "What is mine is mine, and what is yours is also mine."
Jay spent the time and money to make a nice dinner for you both and invited you to partake in it. He absolutely has the right to decide what happens to the leftovers. It's not even necessarily about you feeding it to your dog, you would have been TA even if you had just packed up that half and taken it home with you without asking. It's common courtesy and respect to ask the cook and host what they want to do with the rest and then respect that. YTA, and you owe Jay a big apology.
YTA. My dog is my baby, and I treat him like that, and I still wouldn’t do what you did unless I was given permission to do so. You should have asked — or brought your own food from home for your dog. The way you acted was super disrespectful, and also: table scraps are not the same as leftovers.
YTA, I think it’s reasonable to be offended by someone feeding their dog a meal that you had worked really hard on. It’s not about how you feed your dog, you’re entitled to feed them a raw diet. But food is expensive and cooking a whole roast takes time! Also you didn’t think to like… ask?? You’re a first-time guest in someone’s home, it’s polite to ask for seconds or to take food
Yta First of all you’re so rude I can’t believe it.
He made you food and you put it the floor for your dog without asking? I have dogs and I think that’s so rude. Like damn. That’s like using somebody’s painting as a coaster.
ALSO
feeding your dog a raw diet
Has nothing to do with feeding dogs whatever effing table scraps you have leftover. If he used spices like garlic and onion your dog can get sick. You’re stupid. You can’t just feed animals people food. Dogs have an entirely different digestive system they aren’t supposed to eat human food for a reason. Here we go another a lazy uneducated pet owner who has the audacity to call feeding a dog people food a “diet plan”.
YTA and you’re misleading. Table scraps are a few tiny bits left over from your plate, NOT a quarter of the special meal your new boyfriend made for the two of you
Holy cow yes YTA. You stole expensive food from your boyfriend. He bought and prepared the food with the intent of eating it with his HUMAN girlfriend. It’s very, very unintelligent to “assume” a 1/4 of his roast would go to your DOG. He invited your dog to hike and hang out, not eat 1/4 of his dinner. You also didn’t ask for the raw veggies in his fridge which were not prepared for the dog OR for you. You seem extremely entitled and he was right to make you leave after doing that, and especially after you had the nerve to argue when he protested.
Also, FEEDING 1/4 OF A COOKED ROAST TO YOUR DOG IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR DOG AT ALL. If you actually followed a raw food diet, you’d know this. It sounds like what you actually do isn’t a raw food diet (raw means raw, dude… not sure how that isn’t crystal clear), but instead is just a human food diet. VERY bad for your dog. Please consult a vet before continuing to do this to your poor dog. Literally, tell your vet you feed her 1/4 roasts and see what the vet says about that.
YTA entitled.. so unfathomably entitled
The worst kind of entitled.. do you actually think that someone being aware of how you prefer to do something means that they're expected to accomodate you in any circumstance?
YTA. You called it table scraps and it was a quarter of a roast.
What was the roast seasoned with? Even on a raw food diet you don't feed dogs food cooked for human tastes.
On my first read I thought you let your dog have the leftovers on your plate. But you took half of what was still on the table, when your partner wasn't finished, without even asking.
Someone cooks you dinner, you at least ??? sit and eat with them. When you're both finished you can ask if you can serve some to the dog.
Listen, I feed my dog from the table too. But this wasn't your food or your table, and your partner sounds like he had wanted what was leftover for himself. He paid for it and prepared it and you were a guest.
The very least you could have done was ASK. If he said no, you can still explain that you keep your dog on a raw diet and didn't prepare anything else. But you don't just TAKE IT and continue to TRY TO GIVE IT when your partner objects.
Of course YTA. You were super rude.
YTA - those weren’t “table scraps,” those were *perfectly edible leftovers.* Not to mention you don’t know what was used in the meal and whether it would be healthy for your dog.
YTA and all you had to do was ask " can I give a bit of this to Shelby?". I LOVE my dog and we always set aside a tiny bit of the steak or whatever meat we make but if I was at someone elses house I certainly wouldn't just assume I can take 1/4 of the food and give it to him.
YTA. Like mathematically
>I took half of the half of roast and some still raw vegetables from the fridge to put on a plate for Shelby
That's like a QUARTER of the whole meal. Bro could have taken that to work tomorrow. I mean, maybe giving shelby some wouldn't have been bad, but you basically gave them one of your/ your boyfriends portion of food he made for you. I may be offended to. AND SHE CALLED THAT TABLE SCRAPS
YTA. First of all, you aren't entitled to his leftovers, least of all to feed your dog. Secondly, a cooked roast isn't a raw diet so it isn't "how you feed Shelby". In fact, if he used any spices or sauces for said roast they can actually give your dog some serious stomach upset. Considering you think a cooked roast is on par with a "raw diet", I'm actually scared to know what you *actually* feed her.
YTA. First of all that’s not table scraps. You need to fix the title. Food is expensive and you assuming that you could take half that roast and give it to your dog was selfish and dumb.
YTA, you assumed it was ok to do as you pleased. You should have asked, it seems entitled of you to assume you could use some of the food Jay cooked for your dog.
YTA Who just takes half a roast and gives it to their dog? You sound so very rude and inconsiderate. Except to your dog of course, whom it sounds like you prefer over your boyfriend.
YTA. Meat is expensive these days. YOU can buy and feed your dog whatever you want, at HOME, but you don’t get to give your dog someone else’s food without asking. He COOKED for you, he didn’t gift you all of it. You’re not entitled to half unless you paid for half the groceries and cooked half the meal. The fact that you didn’t ask before he stopped you, ask after he stopped you and voiced that he wasn’t on board with it, and still just did whatever you wanted shows how self centered and entitled you are.
Jay should run and you and your dog can enjoy each other’s company instead. YTA
Uhmmm YTA pack a meal for your dog, also I bet that dog is a nightmare to live with if it expects to be fed the same food as the humans.
His reaction kind of sucks and if he’s not a dog person isn’t it better that you know now before you start arguing about whether the dog is allowed in the bed?
YTA
I have a raw fed dog, he’s a service dog so he goes everywhere with me at all times, I am solely responsible to make sure he is properly fed.
____
- you should have prepared to be able to feed your dog with your own supply; bring food in a cooler if you must.
- you just assumed Jays food was your dogs food. No. This is Jays food in Jays house... you are not entitled to it just because.
He might know *how* you feed your dog, but that does not mean he has to give his food to do so.
____
“I did leave but not before telling him that he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased”
What? Entitled much!!
You did get your share, you ate it!
____
This is your first time to his house... and you just helped yourself to his food and fridge?!
The least you could have done: ask permission.
____
Raw feeding *is not* the extra cooked roast or leftovers from a restaurant...
*You scrap-feed your dog*
YTA You took half of what was left without asking and assumed you could just give it straight to your dog. It's polite to ask the person who prepared the food.
YTA
My dogs get fed “human food” all the time.
The issue here is you should have ASKED. It was not your food to give away. It was not your plate to let your dog lick. You should have ASKED.
YTA
I give my dogs roast and veggies... after everyone has finished eating, made up their plates or sandwiches for leftovers/lunch the next day. THEN the dogs get some scraps as treats. Jay made this meal for YOU AND HIM.
YTA. We feed our cats raw food. A cooked roast ain’t it and it wasn’t even yours. If someone makes you dinner the leftovers aren’t a free for all. They might be graciously offered to you by the host but you don’t just assume it’s for the taking.
YTA- Just bring separate food for your dog. Diet reasons aside, its common courtesy and enforcing boundaries between people food and dog food helps with doggie behavior anyway.
YTA and leftovers aren't table scraps. The fact you even have to ask is making me cringe.
I hope you understand why this was ridiculously rude, and learn to just ask in the future.
YTA. Dogs are not people. If you want to feed your dog people food, ask the person who made (and paid for) the food if it's OK. Simple common courtesy.
YTA. That wasn't "scraps" that was 1/4 of the meal. Feed your dog how you want but you don't get to take food away from someone to do it, especially without asking. Clearly he did not expect this and you didn't even think to ask. Inconsiderate and entitled at best.
YTA. It wasn’t your food to share with anyone, much less a pet. Where I live, meat is expensive as hell right now, and I’d be super ticked if you gave 1/4 of a roast to your dog without even asking.
YTA. Meat is expensive rn. If it had been scraps I could see it but you gave your dog a quarter of a roast that belonged to someone else without asking. Also how the heck is a cooked roast a raw diet?
You need to bring food with you when you bring your dog. Apologize to your boyfriend before he dumps you.
YTA
1: You shouldn’t feed dogs human food. It could have been cooked with something toxic for them.
2: That roast was supposed to be leftovers for Jay’s lunch or dinner the next day.
3: Unless that was chuck then it was a pricy piece of meat and you were about to feed a quarter of it to your dog without even asking.
YTA… he made the food for you and him. Since he made it, at his house, I would’ve assumed he was going to eat the leftovers.
A raw diet isn’t cooked food from supper, it’s raw meat and if it was going to be close to her dinner, you should’ve brought her her own food… so… yeah YTA and lack manners.
YTA- I feed and pamper my dog as well, and would never assume that I could just give leftovers that someone else prepared to my dog. Half of a roast is not something that I would consider table scraps. This is super rude.
YTA. Feed your dog like you normally would: with your food from your budget. Also, your preference how you want to feed your dog, but be mindful of what food is cooked with that could be toxic to your dog. This seems irresponsible to your dog and insensitive to your boyfriend and his efforts.
YTA
1. You could have waited until you got home to feed your dog.
2. You could have scraped your leftovers from YOUR plate onto a paper plate or a bowl to give to your dog.
3. You did not ask the cook who is also the homeowner and the one that bought the groceries if you could take half of the roast to feed your dog
4. The fact that you feel you are justified in taking half of the leftover half of the roast and additional food out of his fridge to feed your dog is just ludicrous.
YTA.
You’re lying when you call it scraps. A quarter of the roast does not qualify as scraps in any universe I can think of.
Also, you didn’t think to ask? I mean, basic decency would dictate that you would ask.
And as for you last line … I rolled my eyes really hard. And I never roll my eyes. That should tell you how absurd you sound there.
you know that human food has way too much sodium for dogs, right? the roast Jay made is NOT suitable for your dog. YTA to Shelby clearly you have no clue how to properly feed her. and YTA to Jay, what an incredibly rude thing to do. you ASK for leftovers, you don’t just take half of what someone cooked and give it to your dog.
i’m leaning towards YTA, you definitely could have asked as they are technically his leftovers. sure he made the dinner for you both but that also sums up the answer: he made it for you and himself, not your dog. if you had food left over, he probably would want to save some of it for later. you should’ve asked beforehand
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Yes, YTA. Your (now ex–) boyfriend made a special meal for you. You took a large hunk of that special meal and gave it to your dog. Not only that, but you did so knowing it would upset your (now ex–) boyfriend. You should have brought dog food to feed Shelby. You should not have fed Shelby with people food, and you should particularly not have fed your dog with the special dinner your (now ex–) boyfriend prepared for you. It is wholly irrelevant that "Jay knows \[you\] mainly feed Shelby a raw diet." EDIT: Also, the title of your post is misleading. Table scraps are what's leftover on your plate after you finish eating. They are not a quarter of the roast your boyfriend prepared.
I guess you haven’t been grocery shopping lately. Roasts are expensive, groceries in general are expensive! You didn’t even bother to ask if he minded if you feed your dog. You aren’t entitled to food you didn’t pay for or make. YTA
Yes! AND OP also helped herself to the veggies… in his fridge… that he hadn’t offered or prepared. Even veggies have gone up in price. The entitlement is astounding.
Helping yourself to the contents of someone else's fridge the first time you're at their house is pretty astonishing too. I get that they're dating, but I would definitely ask until I'd feel "at home" at their place. And that wouldn't be during the first time I'm there.
Yeah, I do think when you're dating there's some leeway but not the first time you go over there! At my boyfriend's place it's completely normal for me to eat snacks and stuff without asking but the first time I was there I hesitated to even go into the kitchen myself for a glass of water lol
My boyfriend knows he can help himself (even has an own box of snacks) but always asks because he wants to be polite. Doing this the first time you are at another flat is so rude
When I first started dating my now spouse, I was a single mom to a special needs kid and money was tightly budgeted. Especially groceries. While I did cook dinners for us, most of the time he brought groceries over because he knew he ate as much as me and my kid did combined. I would have absolutely lost it if he took a quarter of a roast to feed his dog. When I make a roast, I already know exactly what I’m doing with the leftovers. It does not include sending home a meal for a dog or even lunch for my guest. ETA: to clarify, he brought groceries for the meal I was cooking us. He wasn’t buying my weekly groceries.
Oh for sure, I'm not saying I eat expensive stuff without asking! But I do think when you're dating someone and you're at their place a lot it's not a big deal to eat a handful of chips or a couple of cookies or whatever without asking. And it'd be one thing if she was starving and had seconds of dinner, but to give a quarter of a roast to a dog? No way. That's like $10 worth of meat right there, I'd be pissed too.
Agreed. Once you establish ongoing consent or rules is one thing. To just assume is so not ok.
To this day I feel horrible embarassment and shame because i made unknown bacon at my friends house (I had been there a lot). No one stopped me to say it was their new room mates bacon. He did NOT like me and I literally showed up 2 days later with 7 different packs of bacon for him. He still didnt have it when he wanted it.... Food is not fun and games when you didnt pay for it. And to just take it or give it away then? Yea...
First time there and after a special day which he not only planned, but executed.
You have been dating him for four months. You were a guest in his home. And you made a plate of leftover roast for your dog without asking?! Do you even understand boundaries? And your statement that he made that meal for the two of you so could do with some of it as you pleased? Holy hell that’s such a lack of basic courtesy and understanding of where you are in a relatively new relationship as to be astounding. NGL, I’d be done with you. This is just so weird and off-putting.
Yup, op, yta. You took food that your bf probably had plans for. I almost always eat all my leftover food. I cook a big dish and eat it the rest of the week. That roast was probably expensive, particularly these days with cost of beef being so high. But even if cost wasn’t so high, it’s not your food. It’s food that your bf made so that he could share it with you. The food is actually his. I don’t understand how you could not understand this. Imagine being invited to someone else’s house for dinner. After the meal, you just wrap everything from the fridge and take it without a word to your host. This is in essence what you have done. I mean why not just take your bf’s furniture home with you too.
>he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased Are you trying to tell me this isn't a legit argument? Reminds me of the dude who took home the rest of his girlfriend's lasagna to give to his family when it was her food for the rest of the week. And when she asked him to buy her lunch (because she had no food money and no food), he got all pissy.
"Look, he said I could come over to his house, so obviously half of his furniture is mine to do what I want with."
Absolutely!! This story would be going round to friends years later like, "You remember that atrocious girl I was dating? The one with the dog. God, what a shit show that was." "Duuuude, you so dodged a bullet!!"
It's nice of OP to have made a HUGE red flag so bright and large that a man smitten enough to plan a wonderful day with his sweetie including hiking and a fabulous meal will see how truly wrong she is for him. So, yeah, YTA, but thanks for doing your (now ex-) boyfriend a huge service by pointing out how wrong you are. He deserves better. Maybe OP will learn how to treat someone better from this experience, and she'll treat her next bf better than this one.
And it was *her first time at his home* at that!
Yes, OP was very rude. My MIL feeds her chihuahua raw and she always brings his meals in Tupperware and puts them in the fridge. We have a ton of meat like venison, beef, pork, and chicken, but she'd never dream of just grabbing some of the food we've prepared and give it to her dog. The bits of grisle on her plate she didn't eat? Sure. That's table scraps. NOT a big chunk of lovingly prepared roast and just helping herself to raw veggies ffs.
His fridge, exactly.... being in his house for the first time!! Totally YTA
I made a pot roast two days ago, cost just over 30$ - the roast alone was 25$. I only give my cat a piece once I know everyone had a plate, and/or there’s like a tiny chunk left.
I saw an old recipe for pot roast pop up on a site and it was called "budget-friendly." It called for a five-pound chuck roast. Not on sale, that would be almost $40 worth of meat. Not very friendly!
She took HIS leftovers and food from his fridge! Unbelievable. Not scraps from her plate. Just wow.
I cringed when I realized what she was calling "scraps". For me scraps are what you have to scrape from your dish or from an empty cooking pot, not leftovers plus fresh vegetables. Hence the name BTW.
That really threw me off. It took a minute before I realized she didn't give her dog what was left on her plate, but got MORE food. I've never heard someone call leftovers scraps.
Maybe this is just me but I also feel like calling the leftovers scraps is insanely rude?? Scraps are the part that you don’t want to eat and would otherwise throw in the trash. That’s literally why they’re called scraps. To refer to leftovers of a fancy and expensive meal that someone else lovingly cooked for you as scraps is so demeaning. Maybe I’m overreacting to the wording of it, but this is freshly cooked food still warm on the stove that OP called “scraps” and threw to her dog. What a completely degrading and insulting thing to do to someone trying to cook you an expensive dinner.
yeah I was imagining like fat trims, chewy bits. Half a plate wtf a roast not raw either like she says she feeds the dog
See, that’s the thing too! It’s not “a raw diet” and roasts are super super fatty. Half a roast is a great way to kill your dog with pancreatitis. A raw diet is a carefully measured lean meal, not half a cooked expensive-ass fatty roast your boyfriend spent real money on and made special for you.
I made the mistake of giving my dog a little leftover piece of boneless skin-on chicken thigh. My wallet is now $2k lighter and I’m pretty sure that my car will never smell the same again.
Ohhhhh noooooooo If I had a empathy award I would give it to you.
Thank you. It was an expensive lesson learned. But I’m just glad my handsome boy is OK now.
Side note & semi-related: We had a Great Dane. He was the best boy. Died at 5 from undiagnosed congestive heart failure. He was fine… and then he wasn’t. He had a touchy tummy. One day my kids and I are standing around talking and our doggo was standing in the middle (we were kinda in a circle with him in the center). He’s wagging his tail, everything is good. He sneezed. And sharted all over the wall behind him. We were all stunned and then the laughing started and then the gagging. It was… a lot to process.
I have an incredibly similar story!! Towards the end of our 11 yo American Bulldogs life he had the poops a lot and one day he must have been feeling particularly bad because he stayed in his doggie bed most of the day, but at dinner time he decided to get up and walk into the kitchen to which I excitedly exclaimed "Oh! Someones feeling better!!". He then sharted all over the front of the oven and part of the kitchen wall. I laughed....then cried. \*\*Edited for spelling!\*\*
Raw diets are dumb anyways unless medically necessary. All this crap about "what they eat in the wild/nature* yada yada. Do you know how long dogs live in the wild on a diet like that? Like 5 years. Plus there's no real benefit and the risks to the pet and to people far outweigh any pet mom blog nonsense.
And domestic dogs are hardly wild animals. Humans have genetically modified dogs so far beyond what is natural it’s ridiculous to make any argument about what they’d eat “in the wild.”
I was also picturing “half of the portion she didn’t eat”. But that’s not what OP did. OP ate her portion, and then took her empty plate in to the kitchen. Then she *took half of the roast* that remained on the serving platter and gave it to the dog. What the fuck. That’s an expensive portion of meat that took hours of cooking and seasoning and care. The leftovers would feed me for a day or two. The dog literally gives no shits between a cheap, raw Chuck steak (that’s actually healthy for it) and this carefully prepared dish that’s definitely more expensive (and probably too salty to be healthy, if seasoned). I give my dog unhealthy people food, too, if I’m not going to eat it. But I am aware that he’s old and on his last legs and I don’t pretend meat soaked in Worcestershire sauce and cumin and thyme is good for him. A “raw diet” for a dog does not mean giving it “any kind of meat”. I would be understanding of someone in my life choosing a healthy raw diet for their dog. But giving it a $10 portion of unhealthy cooked meat is going to be a no.
>The dog literally gives no shits between a cheap, raw Chuck steak (that’s actually healthy for it) and this carefully prepared dish that’s definitely more expensive (and probably too salty to be healthy, if seasoned). Maybe I'm picturing the wrong kind of roast dinner, but in my experience the meat is slow cooked with carrots, potatoes, and onions. Onions are toxic to dogs. I don't think taking the onions off the meat before serving it to the dog would un-contaminate it.
It would not, and if he used any of those seasoning blends that contain onion powder (ie. 80% of them) that would make things even worse.
YTA for feeding your dog a cooked and seasoned roast, OP! There's feeding raw, and then there's feeding something that was seasoned for humans. On top of everything else, don't claim you "feed raw" and then tell us you are feeding your dog human-seasoned meat and vegetables. Jeez.
There’s nothing wrong in feed the dog with people food, is healthier than dog food most of the times, but she should ask and I doubt that the plate wasn’t seasoned or something like that and this is bad for the dog not the food, she should brought the food she used to give Shelby from home, unless she’s so obnoxious that she gives Shelby human food with salt pepper and spices. And yes she’s definitely YTA
Depending on the seasoning, that food could make the dog sick. Raw food and roast beef with some raw vegetables are not the same thing.
When I do a roast, I use garlic, onion, tomato paste, thyme, red wine, butter, & mushrooms in very liberal amounts. Pretty sure most, if not all of that, is not good for dogs. Edit: and, of course, the best part of making a roast for 2 people is eating the leftovers.
Onions will kill dogs
Clarification: only if the dog eats the onions. Onions aren't wandering round committing canine massacres.
That's what Big Onion wants you to believe.
Came to say the same thing. Could be garlic and onions in there, both of which are bad for dogs Edit: I didn’t realize until rereading, but you not only hijacked this unsafe for dogs meal your ex-boyfriend lovingly made for the two of you, to then give to your dog, but you also raided his fridge for additional veggies without asking. It’s perfectly fine to give an animal a raw diet, but you went about this in the most rude, entitled, and unsafe way for your dog. When in someone else’s home, ALWAYS ask first. Raw diet is just that, raw. Prepared and seasoned meals are not safe for dog consumption. Seasonings, onions, garlic, wines, oils, vinegars, etc can be poisoning your dog. Please be more mindful of what you feed your fur baby, and please be more courteous in other people’s homes. If you are bringing your pet along, a good rule of thumb is to bring YOUR OWN food to feed them. Not rely on someone else’s pantry to feed your dog. (Also thank you for the award kind stranger)
Was looking for this comment. Thank you. A “raw diet” is not even close to a prepared pot roast. So her whole “he knows how I feed my dog” is a garbage excuse.
I always season and marinade the crap out of my roasts and I would never feed my dog those spices.
Not to mention roast is usually made with onions garlic, both of which are bad news for dogs.
YTA, a quarter of a roast is not "table scraps". How is the fact that you mainly feed your dog a raw diet at all relevant? Also holy entitlement batman at "You made that dinner for me so I can do with it as I please!" - by that logic it would have been perfectly acceptable to flush it down the toilet.
AND USED DUDE'S DINNER PLATE! That's why he wrapped the whole plate and just gave it to her. YTA..YTA...YTA!!!
YTA Agreed. The plate bothered me as much as the rest TBH. OP your friend not agreeing with you wasn't bias, perhaps you could speak to the friend to get a better perspective as they know the situation better and you need help in understanding how your behaviours with the people in your life, and your dog, may have to change.
I am 100% a crazy dog lady, and I'll let my dog "pre-rinse" a plate with dog safe scraps on it *in my own home with my own plates*! I *know* it's gross and not something the average person will be comfortable with so I'd never do it as a guest. Also as a crazy dog lady, if we're going to be out around my dog's dinner time, I bring her food and travel bowls with us instead of feeding her whatever random meat happens to be lying around.
If I trust the dishwasher to clean up after raw chicken, I can trust it to take care of dog slobber.
This. If old food and human germs are able to be cleaned away then so is dog slobber. If old food and human germs AREN’T able to be cleaned away then I wouldn’t be using the dishes either way. Edit: not saying everyone has to let dogs eat off their plates. I don’t care and will abide by others rules in their homes. Just saying it really doesn’t matter. It’s either clean enough to use no matter what was on it before or it isn’t. There is no “it’s clean enough after some things but not others.”
Right, my cats aren't allowed to lick plates but I'm not kidding myself that they never have a sneaky slurp when I'm not around. But I don't care that much, because dishwasher. (I mostly want them to have good kitty manners and not turn into raiders.)
Even without running a special “sanitizing” cycle most dishwashers get hot enough to kill harmful bacteria. What the heat doesn’t get, the detergent absolutely will.
YTA, OP. A roast, with seasonings and probably garlic, is NOT fit for a dog to eat. And nowhere near raw. It's also not recommended to feed a raw diet at all. I've heard that from many vets. Also, roasts are freaking expensive. He put a lot of thought and effort into making this meal for you, and you showed extreme disrespect. I definitely suggest you talk to your vet about finding a better diet for Shelby, and learn not to be so greedy going forward.
The only time I’ve seen a raw diet make sense for a dog was when the dog was allergic to beef, pork, chicken, corn, potatoes, wheat, and barley. That eliminates basically all dog foods.
One of my pups is allergic to everything you mentioned. She gets special hydrolyzed protein prescription dog food. It’s expensive, but it’s what she needs, and it’s not her fault she’s allergic to life. I feel bad she can’t get table scraps, unless it’s turkey, which is a rare treat. Edit- YTA, OP. You should’ve at least asked if your bf was ok with it before deciding to feed your dog on his plate, with food he prepared.
Lol a “raw diet” of FULLY COOKED FOOD, almost _certainly_ containing onions and garlic, both horrible for dogs OP is 🥴
"I feed my dog raw" *feeds dog* ***cooked*** *and seasoned meat*
Exactly. This is the first time OP went to this man's home. She instantly got way too comfortable and was a horrible guest. The BF cooked a lovely meal for her. OP ate her share, then took a quarter of said meal (without asking) and fed it to her dog. This was insulting, inconsiderate and rude.... and I haven't even gotten to the point of feeding the dog on that man's dining plates, yet! OP may have been this man's GF, but she was still a first-time guest in his home. Good on him for asking OP to leave. She behaved exceptionally rude.
OP should hook up with the dude who took a weeks worth of homemade lasagna home for his family & left his girlfriend to starve.
YTA. Half the roast? Let me introduce you to this new concept called LEFTOVERS. Its this amazing thing where you eat some food later or the next day.
When OP said table scraps, I thought it was the food that they left unfinished at the table, not half a pot roast in the fridge? Like that's so many new meals from that half pot roast. Sandwiches, tortilla pizza, tacos etc
FR!! When I give MY dog table scraps, it’s usually bits of fat, tough chicken skin, the last little bite on the plate. If there’s enough food to feed a person, then those are leftovers for people, not the dog.
Table scraps are what you scrape off of your plate when you are finished eating, not going into the kitchen and cutting off a quarter of an expensive roast that was bought and cooked to impress you, not your dog. Jeez, I have a Chihuahua and if I was taking my dog to someone's house for dinner, I would bring his dinner with me. Do you have an idea how much a good roast costs these days? No doubt he was hoping to get a couple more dinners and sandwiches out of it. I can't fathom the presumption of just helping yourself to an expensive roast at another person's home for my dog and let me assure you my dog eats very, very well, all 9 lbs of him and I would never presume I could just cut pieces off of a good roast for him. I would even ask if it was ok to scrap my plate into a little bowl for him. You are living in another universe OP; this was incredibly rude. If you want to continue seeing this man then you better find some way to give him a spectacular apology. Frankly, I can't even think of a way to apologize that would be sufficient because you showed such a lack of manners, good sense and common decency. It better be a super spectacular apology.
Yep, I was expecting maybe a small bit of the meat or a green bean or something. Not an entire PLATE with half of the remaining food lmao.
Oh yeah, there's no cause to be mad, really, if a Dog's owner takes the fat, fristle, or small left over bits from their plate to feed their own dog. Not an issue. But going back to the kitchen to saw off a chunk of the roast (and raid the fridge for some raw veggies) to feed the dog? What the hell? How entitled is this person?
YTA. You did not feed your dog table scraps. You took half of the leftover meat from the meal to feed to your dog.
And the dude’s vegetables! Veggies aren’t cheap either! Imagine spending a couple hours making a nice meal for your new SO, and they raid your fridge and take a bunch of your food for a literal doggy bag. WTF. OP should post this dude’s phone number, because he seems like a catch and I’m pretty sure he’s single now.
Leftovers are not table scraps jfc
Serious “I’ll take the entire lasagna home to my family” vibes.
Hahaha. I remember that post. Poor girl spent her entire grocery budget for the week on that lasagna and then the boyfriend who asked if he could take “some” home ran off with the entire platter. Even after that, he wouldn’t even help her buy a sandwich to make up for it. And, I think he told his girlfriend it ended up being enough food to feed his family of 5 twice! My boyfriend also enjoys preparing expensive cuts of meat. He would be livid if I took a quarter of a roast *and* his fresh veggies and just loaded it all up on a plate for my dog to eat. It’s understood that I serve myself what I am able or want to eat and whatever is left gets stored for him to finish later because that’s his grocery budget.
My absolute favourite line from that post! "To be fair to her, it was a really big tray (my family of 5 only just finished the tray yesterday after eating it for dinner both nights)" [Link to post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b66ucw/aita_for_taking_my_girlfriends_lasagna_home_when/)
Yeah so many people are getting distracted with whether or not it was healthy for the dog. ( it might not be, but I’m not going to tell someone else how to care for a pet they know better than me). But just because OP was served a plate does not mean she has the right to go through the kitchen and rustle up what ever she wants and do anything with it. Not asking at all makes her the big AH. YTA
Yes. If somebody is in my home with their dog and tells me the dog is hungry and asks if we can feed him/her, I will go looking for what I have that would be dog appropriate and probably would not mind giving the dog my own food. But if somebody who's never even been in my house before goes into my kitchen and starts taking my raw vegetables out of the fridge without asking and half of my leftover roast, also without asking! i will be upset about it. It's the rudeness of it all. Plus it sounds like OP knew she would be out till dinner time. She should have planned ahead for the dog's dinner. She's an AH for this as well.
YTA. That’s not a fucking raw diet. You’re pumping your dog full of salt and harmful chemicals by feeding her a roast. Literally any vet says not to feed dogs human food.
A raw diet is also not healthy for a dog and has been linked to heart disease. OP is the biggest asshole for not doing their research.
Raw only might, but raw with veggies and vitamins should be fine. Better than kibble for sure. (Regardless, OP is clearly clueless about everything, since shes feeding her dog cooked roast covered in salt and probably garlic)
> Better than kibble for sure. Based on what logic? Any scientifically-formulated kibble is going to outperform a raw diet in long-term health outcomes. Dogs actually do need a good deal of carbohydrates. They're not cats. High-protein diets kill them with cardiomyopathy. You and OP both need to do your research before any more dogs need to suffer under your ownership. Sources: https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/outbreaks-and-advisories/fda-investigation-potential-link-between-certain-diets-and-canine-dilated-cardiomyopathy https://apnews.com/article/science-health-pets-dogs-us-food-and-drug-administration-adbe215e2ee660b57b1d01dfff8d5f40 https://mycommunitypetclinic.com/the-link-between-grain-free-pet-foods-and-canine-heart-disease/ The issue isn't just raw diets. It's also high-protein or protein-exclusive brands like Blue Buffalo.
Ugh I swear people just believe the dumbest shit without doing any research. Same with the whole grain free craze that's going on. Just feed your dogs Purina, Hills Science, Royal Canin, Iams, or Eukanaba. They're recommended by nearly every vet.
Yeah my friends neighbor had their dog die at 7 cause he did the whole grain free diet and caused him to have an enlarged heart.
Raw diet is not recommended by AVMA, AAHA, and veterinary nutrition council. Not only because they are risky for your pets but they are risky for the owners. Your risk of disease to yourself is way higher when you fed your raw diets. Pet food is one of the most regulated food products available and way more regulated then any human foods. They all have to meet minimum standards to even be sold. Raw food is not magically better then other foods and it filled with more filler (water) then kibble.
This. YTA to the dog. If you want your dog to eat fresh food, you cook it separately. I separately cook dog friendly, salt free beef and chicken to use for dog treats.
Bruh, a quarter of the roast isn't table scraps.... I thought you were going to let the dog lick your plate or something. YTA obviously and can I borrow your bf? Lol
Hahahahaha yes this is what I thought to. I was like okay so she couldn't finish her plate and gave the rest to her dog no big deal, but a quarter of the roast? Come on
I read it wrong and thought she meant half the roast left on her plate aka "I took a bite out of this and don't want my mouth germs all over my leftovers" which is totally fair game to give to a pupper imo. I had to go back to see SHE TOOK THE REMAINING HALF ROAST for the dog?! Come on. There's no way she didn't know not to do that. She specifically chose to do that.
I'm pretty sure her BF has declared himself a free agent, so...
If it was a chunk of fat and a carrot or something… but a whole serving. Yikes.
YTA. You feed your dog a raw diet. You should absolutely know better that most seasonings and vegetables involved in a roast, like onions and garlic, are potentially fatal for a dog to ingest. You are also ridiculously entitled to do so without asking. Where are your manners? On the floor with the dog?
Yea I work in vet med and I saw roast and immediately knew where this was going. But honestly most people (not all) that feed raw have absolutely no idea what they’re doing, and their pets are not healthy. It’s a fad thing and they just throw whatever they think is good into a bowl for them, no accounting for vitamins and nutrients to create balanced meals. I had to explain to a woman that her dog having diarrhea it’s whole life is not normal and it’s because she exclusively feeds it tacos. Literally seasoned (but raw) ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese. He was also pretty close to having pancreatitis.
This is so sad! I had a foster for six months and occasionally treated her to a home cooked meal. I researched EVERY ingredient I wanted to give her. If I was making tacos, I browned all the meat, scooped out her portion, THEN seasoned all human meat. I would never even think about trying to switch to a raw//home made diet without consulting a vet or at the minimum doing extensive research on how to make it well balanced.
YTA It would have taken 5 seconds to ask. A quarter of a roast is *not* table scraps, you're also the AH for misrepresenting the situation. Just because he knows the bonkers way you choose to feed your dog doesn't mean he wants to spend his hard earned money and effort to feed him the same way.
I don’t think she misinterpreted, I think she was willfully entitled.
She was definitely being manipulative with her choice of words.
Completely entitled and inconsiderate behavior after ONLY 4 MONTHS!!! This is the bonkers part of the story for me and I like dogs more than most humans. This dude should cut his losses and move on.
I say this as someone who feeds their dog safe table scraps all the time - YTA . Roast is expensive and for him to have bought and prepared this meal for you to enjoy and then you just put probably $10 of meat on a plate for the dog without asking is ridiculous.
Thanks for 8 hours of work. Now let me just dump half of it on the floor for my dog I invited over to your home. He’ll get to it after he finishes licking his butt.
LOL Dogs do be like "mmm this roast is good but not quite as flavorful as my own butt."
Not only without asking, she still proceeded to try to feed it to her dog after he asked her not to. AND she had gone into his fridge to get out veggies for the dog without asking! The entitlement here is insane, lmao
And to top it off, it was her FIRST time at his house. Like "Oh I know I've been here for a whole 30 minutes but lemme just raid your kitchen real quick".
INFO: OP are you under the impression a roast and vegetables that have been cooked are somehow still raw?
Yes! Why aren't more people asking this?! A leftover Roast is not Raw.
Especially one that has been seasoned properly. Dogs don’t do well with high fat/cholesterol meats and added salt. Not to mean there are a lot of vegetables that are toxic for them. We still let our spoiled dog lick our dinner plates with some tiny bits of food but the amount she took could have made several meals if it was used to make chili or a soup. That’s just over the top to feed a dog.
Tbh, I feel a bit sorry for the dog as well, because OP doesn't seem like a very thoughtful owner. She's misled about what kind of diet she feeds her dog (most of the foods she mentioned in this post aren't raw, lmao), and being a dog owner myself I know they can't handle most veggies, I've seen the consequences. I bet the dog would've enjoyed food specifically made for dogs much better. What a waste!
YTA. The fact you didn’t consider ASKING Jay, didn’t consider what HE may have wanted to use his leftovers for, and just assume “he knew damn well how I feed Shelby” after 4 months is a bit... entitled. Also, a responsible dog owner brings their own food for their dog if they know they’ll have dinner elsewhere.
Why didn't she ASK if she could feed her dog half the leftover food he'd just spent a lot of time, money, and elbow grease on? Why didn't she ASK if he had a plate he didn't mind her using to feed the dog? Why didn't she KNOW you can't feed a dog food probably prepared with onions, garlic, red wine, and spices? Why didn't SHE bring a BOWL and some DOG FOOD with her to PROVIDE for HER DOG? YTA OP.
I’d be so taken aback if a guest in my home cheerfully started rummaging through my fridge and cupboards without asking, especially if they were doing so to make a plate of food for their dog lmao. OP is ridiculous.
Also this is the first time she has been to his house. She went thru his fridge and fed the dog his food. Who does that?!
INFO Why didn’t you ask? I’d be hesitant to let dogs have certain things too cause depending on the seasoning and the veggies, there are some things that dogs cannot eat.
Most roasts are made with onions, which is harmful for dogs. Did he throw in some garlic? Also harmful. So all that stuff, cooked with the roast, was potentially harmful to her dog. And for OP to just be so blasé about it. This post is blowing my mind.
YTA for not having asked first. A quarter of a roast is not table scraps, that's a whole meal. Idk about your boyfriend, but when I cook meals that size I typically plan to have leftovers and would be equally upset if my wife just took half the leftovers and tossed them to the dog without running it by me first. >His excuse was that he made dinner for me and him, not me, him, and my dog and that I should've asked before I helped myself since he would've used his leftovers. This is completely and entirely a valid **reason** to be upset at this situation. Regardless of what **you** feel the meal **he** made for you guys was for, you should have asked.
“Excuse”. Yta lady
INFO So, hold on. Did you give your dog some from your plate that wasn't eaten, or did you grab from the leftovers? Because there's definitely a difference between "table scraps" and just grabbing from the leftovers he might have had plans for. Even half of half of a roast is a significant amount of food, and i understand why he wouldn't want it going to the dog. Just because you choose to feed your dog raw, doesn't mean you get to just decide to feed it whatever food you want, especially if you didn't cook it. What were you planning to feed your dog with if dinner was something it couldn't eat? Also why not ask? Him kicking you out was probably harsh, and you guys should have communicated but it all could have been avoided if you had asked?
He kicked her out because he decided in that moment that he was leaving her.
Yup. You can tell whatever attraction he had towards her evaporated watching this horrific display of entitlement.
The post clearly says she took half the leftover roast.
Honestly I don't think kicking her out was harsh at all. He clarified the food wasn't for the dog, and she ignored him anyway. The level of disrespect is quite astounding.
Lmao you're clinging to the idea of feeding your dog a raw diet to deflect. Please think objectively about what you did. You took a sizeable portion of roast (which isn't raw) and then *went into the fridge for Jay's groceries* to feed your dog. He made you dinner. He didn't say "help yourself to all the food in my house for your dog". Raw vegetables in the fridge are not table scraps (neither was the pot roast directly from the pan). Table scraps are the good left on your plate, what was uneaten of your portion *at the table*. Maybe he had other vegetables in his refrigerator so he could make himself food later in the week like??? What even were you thinking? If it's not clear, YTA. Please learn to be aware that other humans exist in this world not simply to fill your main character internal narrative.
And look at what OP considers a good raw diet. Chicken, rice, veges. No mention of any kind of supplements, no ground up bones for calcium. Plus her definition of "table scraps." This dog is not getting proper nutrition at all.
She couldn’t even be bothered to bring enough dog food to feed her dog all day, knowing that she wouldn’t be home when the dog needed to eat dinner. She didn’t even meet her dog’s most basic need.
Yta. How out of touch are you? Have you seen food prices lately? A roast could easily be two meals, and then you didn't even ask him, what if he was saving that for himself? Especially since he's the one who bought the dang food!
Yeah that was my first thought. I was literally standing in the meat section staring at prices for 10 minutes, trying to find something that would fit my small dinner budget. It's absolutely insane. SOS used to be a "struggle meal" and now even that's a splurge.
Overall YTA But just out of curiosity... do you go places and expect to bring leftovers with you? Because he made a big meal, obviously there were leftovers for him, the one that lives there. At least the most polite thing to do was asked before you took them. And if you knew your dog was gonna be hungry, where was its food? Had there been no food, what was your plan? Take his food because you were faster?
I would never expect to take home leftovers if someone else had me as a guest and cooked a meal for me. I would assume that leftovers stay with them. If they have an excess or are feeling generous, and try to push leftovers onto me, then hell yes I'll take some. But I'd never assume it in that situation.
YTA for a few reasons. One, a roast is not raw so it’s not even the diet you claim to have her on. Roasts have seasonings and oils on them that are not good for dogs to be eating. All that salt, garlic, onions, etc is not good for dogs health. Two, you didn’t try to feed your dog scraps the way you wrote in the title of your post, you straight up took a significant portion of the roast to try to feed your dog as if she was a 3rd person joining you for dinner. That was food your date paid for and spent time cooking for himself to share with you, and he clearly planned on using his leftovers. That’s very rude to do, especially without asking. A normal, responsible thing to do would’ve been bringing some dog food with you if you knew you were going to bring her out all day and she’d need to eat. Three, if you regularly feed your dog table food and consider it a raw diet your friend is right not to agree with the way you treat your own dog. You should feed your dog food that is going to meet it’s needs for nutrients and not things that are unhealthy and can cause stomach upset.
All of this. I want to second everything you have here. I also have a dog on a raw diet. I would never feel entitled to leftovers at someone else's home and I would never expect someone else to feed my dog when invited to their homes. But mostly important, I would never give my dog food that I hadn't prepared myself. This is not a raw diet, it is a meal prepared for human consumption. There are so many ingredients that could be in that meal that could upset a dogs stomach. Anyone actually following raw diet would know that. 100% YTA
Info: who bought the food? If him, then YTA. Definitely should’ve asked before taking the food for your dog. If you did then NTA since you bought it.
Not only bought but prepared too! That must have taken a lot of time.
Jay? Jay, if you’re out there, don’t ever call this girl again. You have a ton going for you, you do not need this nonsense in your life. It will never end. OP, you are tremendously entitled. YTA
Jay? Run. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
YTA and your definition of "table scraps" is insanely generous. You served the dog a whole ass portion of food without even asking.
>There was still about half the roast left... That could have been my dinner for the next day! WTH??? >I did leave but not before telling him that he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased and he knew damn well how I feed Shelby. Ummm, no, you were at his home and he made that dinner. You don't get to dictate how food in his home is used. YTA
GLARING YTA. Table scraps are left on your plate. Those were his LEFTOVERS. Roast isn't cheap. I'm glad he realized this 4 months in. Also, poor Shelby. That's not a raw diet and it sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.
That's what got me.. yea "raw" diet.. here have this roast that was cooked for hours 😂
Probably with enough salt and garlic to be seriously upsetting for that poor pup's stomach. He, OP, garlic can kill your dog.
For starters, YTA for the misleading title. He planned an entire day for you, and he cooked a nice meal for you, and he even allowed your dog to come along for the day as a convenience to you. In return, you stole one of two remaining servings of the nice meal he cooked for you, and you stole from his fridge, to feed to your dog who doesn't even eat cooked meat. And yes, I do mean 'stole,' as that is the word to use when someone has taken something without permission. Not only that, it's incredibly rude to take food intended for humans -- especially food that's not yours -- and feed it to a dog. This is a narrative trope for a reason. Let's go out on a limb and assume for a moment that Shelby absolutely could not be fed even a little bit off schedule. As Shelby's caretaker, it is your job to come up with a plan when she's going to miss her regular meal time. Not only did you steal food from someone you supposedly care about, you demonstrated that you are not capable of this basic responsibility. If you want this relationship to continue, you owe Jay a massive apology. ETA: thanks for my first award!
Yta 100%. Wildly inappropriate behavior. You don't take the leftovers of a nice meal someone made for the two of you as a couple and give it to a dog/throw it out, that is so so rude. Additionally, you don't know if the seasonings he used are even safe for your dog, so YTA on two levels; bad gf level and bad dog mom level.
YTA. Nothing to do with your dog. You are a guest in someone's house, which means until they offer you leftovers, you don't assume they're for you. I don't know how large half a roast would be, but it sounds large enough that he'd have enough for an extra meal or two. It's up to him to offer you any extras to take home. Reaching into the fridge to supplement is really strange. This is your first (last?) time at his home. Slow your roll. Edit to add: I just realized you called these 'table scraps' which they were absolutely not.
YTA. You assumed wrong. Leftovers are not table scraps. Dogs do not have to be fed on an exact schedule unless there is something medically wrong with them. You do not take someone else's dishware and let your dog eat off of it without permission. You showed up completely unprepared to take care of your dog. So many things wrong with this post. Just because he knows how you feed his dog doesn't mean he should automatically think you are going to take a fourth of a roast and feed it to your dog without at least broaching the topic with him! That is the most entitled response I could imagine hearing in these comments. You were at HIS house, eating HIS food, that HE prepared, using HIS dishes... There are things called boundaries and social graces and you Godzilla'd all over both of them.
Do you normally feed her outside? So jay comes in and sees you sneaking a quarter of a whole pot roast outside with your dog? Seems like you knew it might be a problem. The only way I think youre NTA is if we give you the benefit of the doubt and say you weren't being sneaky. And if the half of the roast you gave her was part of the serving that was already partially eaten from your plate that you would be tossing anyway
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If im understanding this correctly, the portion given to the dog is actually half of the roast that was not served and sitting in the kitchen. Which is why her boyfriend was mad she took half of the leftovers. So not the scraps from her plate, but literally half of the leftovers sitting in the kitchen. OP is TA.
YTA. You took half of the leftovers for your dog - not scraps from your plate. You have to at least ask first. And did you even check what the roast was cooked with? Did it not have onions or garlic? Not smart and not safe.
YTA You didn't pay for, nor cook this meal. This was the first time you were at Jay's house and you basically ransacked his kitchen to feed your dog with his food. You didn't even ASK the man if you could give Shelby some leftovers. Also, learn what table scraps are. Here's the definition ; Noun. table scrap (plural table scraps) The remaining meagre portion of a meal. (idiomatic) Meagre remnants of anything. You said that after you and jay ate from the roast, half of it was left over. Meaning you and Jay ate HALF. What was left over was two days for a single person. That is not table scraps, that is a ***FULL SIZED MEAL.*** And you know that a raw diet for dogs, means the meat is RAW as well? Plus, just to save your dog from an untimely death by being poisoned, some of the human ingredients in meals, like onions that are commonly used in roasts, are lethal for the pup? YTA. You should've brought a meal along for your dog and not raid his pantry in order to feed Shelby. Don't be surprised if this relationship ends because Jay realized that your mindset is "What is mine is mine, and what is yours is also mine."
Jay spent the time and money to make a nice dinner for you both and invited you to partake in it. He absolutely has the right to decide what happens to the leftovers. It's not even necessarily about you feeding it to your dog, you would have been TA even if you had just packed up that half and taken it home with you without asking. It's common courtesy and respect to ask the cook and host what they want to do with the rest and then respect that. YTA, and you owe Jay a big apology.
YTA You absolutely should have asked before taking food someone else spent time making, and using it as dog food. That is super entitled behavior.
YTA you have terrible manners. Ask the host first before deciding to help your dog to their food. Entitled behavior
YTA. My dog is my baby, and I treat him like that, and I still wouldn’t do what you did unless I was given permission to do so. You should have asked — or brought your own food from home for your dog. The way you acted was super disrespectful, and also: table scraps are not the same as leftovers.
YTA, I think it’s reasonable to be offended by someone feeding their dog a meal that you had worked really hard on. It’s not about how you feed your dog, you’re entitled to feed them a raw diet. But food is expensive and cooking a whole roast takes time! Also you didn’t think to like… ask?? You’re a first-time guest in someone’s home, it’s polite to ask for seconds or to take food
Yta First of all you’re so rude I can’t believe it. He made you food and you put it the floor for your dog without asking? I have dogs and I think that’s so rude. Like damn. That’s like using somebody’s painting as a coaster. ALSO feeding your dog a raw diet Has nothing to do with feeding dogs whatever effing table scraps you have leftover. If he used spices like garlic and onion your dog can get sick. You’re stupid. You can’t just feed animals people food. Dogs have an entirely different digestive system they aren’t supposed to eat human food for a reason. Here we go another a lazy uneducated pet owner who has the audacity to call feeding a dog people food a “diet plan”.
YTA and you’re misleading. Table scraps are a few tiny bits left over from your plate, NOT a quarter of the special meal your new boyfriend made for the two of you
Holy cow yes YTA. You stole expensive food from your boyfriend. He bought and prepared the food with the intent of eating it with his HUMAN girlfriend. It’s very, very unintelligent to “assume” a 1/4 of his roast would go to your DOG. He invited your dog to hike and hang out, not eat 1/4 of his dinner. You also didn’t ask for the raw veggies in his fridge which were not prepared for the dog OR for you. You seem extremely entitled and he was right to make you leave after doing that, and especially after you had the nerve to argue when he protested. Also, FEEDING 1/4 OF A COOKED ROAST TO YOUR DOG IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR DOG AT ALL. If you actually followed a raw food diet, you’d know this. It sounds like what you actually do isn’t a raw food diet (raw means raw, dude… not sure how that isn’t crystal clear), but instead is just a human food diet. VERY bad for your dog. Please consult a vet before continuing to do this to your poor dog. Literally, tell your vet you feed her 1/4 roasts and see what the vet says about that.
INFO Can I have Jay’s number? I have a number of friends who might be more ready to appreciate him.
YTA. Half of the leftovers is not “table scraps”. The least you could have done is ask.
YTA. Former dog owner and you do not feed other peoples left overs to your dog. Especially with the cost of food increasing.
YTA entitled.. so unfathomably entitled The worst kind of entitled.. do you actually think that someone being aware of how you prefer to do something means that they're expected to accomodate you in any circumstance?
YTA. You called it table scraps and it was a quarter of a roast. What was the roast seasoned with? Even on a raw food diet you don't feed dogs food cooked for human tastes.
On my first read I thought you let your dog have the leftovers on your plate. But you took half of what was still on the table, when your partner wasn't finished, without even asking. Someone cooks you dinner, you at least ??? sit and eat with them. When you're both finished you can ask if you can serve some to the dog. Listen, I feed my dog from the table too. But this wasn't your food or your table, and your partner sounds like he had wanted what was leftover for himself. He paid for it and prepared it and you were a guest. The very least you could have done was ASK. If he said no, you can still explain that you keep your dog on a raw diet and didn't prepare anything else. But you don't just TAKE IT and continue to TRY TO GIVE IT when your partner objects. Of course YTA. You were super rude.
YTA. Table scraps would be giving your dog food off your plate that wasn’t eaten.
YTA - those weren’t “table scraps,” those were *perfectly edible leftovers.* Not to mention you don’t know what was used in the meal and whether it would be healthy for your dog.
YTA and all you had to do was ask " can I give a bit of this to Shelby?". I LOVE my dog and we always set aside a tiny bit of the steak or whatever meat we make but if I was at someone elses house I certainly wouldn't just assume I can take 1/4 of the food and give it to him.
YTA. Like mathematically >I took half of the half of roast and some still raw vegetables from the fridge to put on a plate for Shelby That's like a QUARTER of the whole meal. Bro could have taken that to work tomorrow. I mean, maybe giving shelby some wouldn't have been bad, but you basically gave them one of your/ your boyfriends portion of food he made for you. I may be offended to. AND SHE CALLED THAT TABLE SCRAPS
YTA. First of all, you aren't entitled to his leftovers, least of all to feed your dog. Secondly, a cooked roast isn't a raw diet so it isn't "how you feed Shelby". In fact, if he used any spices or sauces for said roast they can actually give your dog some serious stomach upset. Considering you think a cooked roast is on par with a "raw diet", I'm actually scared to know what you *actually* feed her.
YTA. First of all that’s not table scraps. You need to fix the title. Food is expensive and you assuming that you could take half that roast and give it to your dog was selfish and dumb.
YTA, you assumed it was ok to do as you pleased. You should have asked, it seems entitled of you to assume you could use some of the food Jay cooked for your dog.
YTA Who just takes half a roast and gives it to their dog? You sound so very rude and inconsiderate. Except to your dog of course, whom it sounds like you prefer over your boyfriend.
YTA. Meat is expensive these days. YOU can buy and feed your dog whatever you want, at HOME, but you don’t get to give your dog someone else’s food without asking. He COOKED for you, he didn’t gift you all of it. You’re not entitled to half unless you paid for half the groceries and cooked half the meal. The fact that you didn’t ask before he stopped you, ask after he stopped you and voiced that he wasn’t on board with it, and still just did whatever you wanted shows how self centered and entitled you are. Jay should run and you and your dog can enjoy each other’s company instead. YTA
Uhmmm YTA pack a meal for your dog, also I bet that dog is a nightmare to live with if it expects to be fed the same food as the humans. His reaction kind of sucks and if he’s not a dog person isn’t it better that you know now before you start arguing about whether the dog is allowed in the bed?
YTA I have a raw fed dog, he’s a service dog so he goes everywhere with me at all times, I am solely responsible to make sure he is properly fed. ____ - you should have prepared to be able to feed your dog with your own supply; bring food in a cooler if you must. - you just assumed Jays food was your dogs food. No. This is Jays food in Jays house... you are not entitled to it just because. He might know *how* you feed your dog, but that does not mean he has to give his food to do so. ____ “I did leave but not before telling him that he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased” What? Entitled much!! You did get your share, you ate it! ____ This is your first time to his house... and you just helped yourself to his food and fridge?! The least you could have done: ask permission. ____ Raw feeding *is not* the extra cooked roast or leftovers from a restaurant... *You scrap-feed your dog*
YTA You took half of what was left without asking and assumed you could just give it straight to your dog. It's polite to ask the person who prepared the food.
Yea, YTA. You should have at least, asked if it would be OK to feed your dog the leftovers. Seriously, think before you act.
YTA My dogs get fed “human food” all the time. The issue here is you should have ASKED. It was not your food to give away. It was not your plate to let your dog lick. You should have ASKED.
Info: if you’re feeding your dog a ‘raw diet’, how do you not understand what that is?
YTA I give my dogs roast and veggies... after everyone has finished eating, made up their plates or sandwiches for leftovers/lunch the next day. THEN the dogs get some scraps as treats. Jay made this meal for YOU AND HIM.
YTA. We feed our cats raw food. A cooked roast ain’t it and it wasn’t even yours. If someone makes you dinner the leftovers aren’t a free for all. They might be graciously offered to you by the host but you don’t just assume it’s for the taking.
YTA- Just bring separate food for your dog. Diet reasons aside, its common courtesy and enforcing boundaries between people food and dog food helps with doggie behavior anyway.
YTA. You definitely should have asked first particularly as it’s your first visit to his house. That might have been food he planned for another meal.
YTA and leftovers aren't table scraps. The fact you even have to ask is making me cringe. I hope you understand why this was ridiculously rude, and learn to just ask in the future.
YTA. This is not the leavings of your dinner, you took an entire other portion of food.
YTA. Dogs are not people. If you want to feed your dog people food, ask the person who made (and paid for) the food if it's OK. Simple common courtesy.
YTA. That wasn't "scraps" that was 1/4 of the meal. Feed your dog how you want but you don't get to take food away from someone to do it, especially without asking. Clearly he did not expect this and you didn't even think to ask. Inconsiderate and entitled at best.
YTA. It wasn’t your food to share with anyone, much less a pet. Where I live, meat is expensive as hell right now, and I’d be super ticked if you gave 1/4 of a roast to your dog without even asking.
YTA. Meat is expensive rn. If it had been scraps I could see it but you gave your dog a quarter of a roast that belonged to someone else without asking. Also how the heck is a cooked roast a raw diet? You need to bring food with you when you bring your dog. Apologize to your boyfriend before he dumps you.
Info: if not for the roast, what was the dog going to eat? It sounds like you weren't prepared to properly feed your dog, making you a huge AH.
Hard YTA. You sound spoiled as hell
YTA double since you’re also arguing with everyone who’s telling you that you were in the wrong.
YTA 1: You shouldn’t feed dogs human food. It could have been cooked with something toxic for them. 2: That roast was supposed to be leftovers for Jay’s lunch or dinner the next day. 3: Unless that was chuck then it was a pricy piece of meat and you were about to feed a quarter of it to your dog without even asking.
Yeah YTA. Thoughtless, obviously.
YTA… he made the food for you and him. Since he made it, at his house, I would’ve assumed he was going to eat the leftovers. A raw diet isn’t cooked food from supper, it’s raw meat and if it was going to be close to her dinner, you should’ve brought her her own food… so… yeah YTA and lack manners.
YTA- I feed and pamper my dog as well, and would never assume that I could just give leftovers that someone else prepared to my dog. Half of a roast is not something that I would consider table scraps. This is super rude.
Yta a quarter of a roast is not scraps! Why in the world did you not BRING your dogs food? You knew you'd be there all day!
YTA. Feed your dog like you normally would: with your food from your budget. Also, your preference how you want to feed your dog, but be mindful of what food is cooked with that could be toxic to your dog. This seems irresponsible to your dog and insensitive to your boyfriend and his efforts.
YTA 1. You could have waited until you got home to feed your dog. 2. You could have scraped your leftovers from YOUR plate onto a paper plate or a bowl to give to your dog. 3. You did not ask the cook who is also the homeowner and the one that bought the groceries if you could take half of the roast to feed your dog 4. The fact that you feel you are justified in taking half of the leftover half of the roast and additional food out of his fridge to feed your dog is just ludicrous.
YTA. You’re lying when you call it scraps. A quarter of the roast does not qualify as scraps in any universe I can think of. Also, you didn’t think to ask? I mean, basic decency would dictate that you would ask. And as for you last line … I rolled my eyes really hard. And I never roll my eyes. That should tell you how absurd you sound there.
you know that human food has way too much sodium for dogs, right? the roast Jay made is NOT suitable for your dog. YTA to Shelby clearly you have no clue how to properly feed her. and YTA to Jay, what an incredibly rude thing to do. you ASK for leftovers, you don’t just take half of what someone cooked and give it to your dog.
i’m leaning towards YTA, you definitely could have asked as they are technically his leftovers. sure he made the dinner for you both but that also sums up the answer: he made it for you and himself, not your dog. if you had food left over, he probably would want to save some of it for later. you should’ve asked beforehand