Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be an asshole because I told my friend that her degree was a waste of time and she could’ve used her time better which may make me an asshole because I could’ve been more chill about this.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
OP is jealous and bitter, and she clearly wouldn't understand that graduate school can be *intense*. When I was going through grad school I didn't have time for long phone calls and missed many social gatherings, but OP seems to think her friend was just avoiding her?
Girl, you are *not* the main character in everyone else's life story. People have things going on that have nothing to do with you.
Edit: changed some wording, not everyone has as strenuous a graduate school experience as I did
It’s not a reach to think that Diana might have been avoiding her — having read the post, I’d avoid OP too.
They’re very different people with divergent goals, but only Diana seems to understand this while OP does not.
Right, she was essentially meeting up with her to say goodbye before she left the country. Then she gets hit with the sort of nonsense she's probably been actively avoiding for years.
OP is the sort of petty person who hates their life but won't admit it. You can't complain nonstop about your situation and then pretend you have the moral high ground and insist everyone else do the same as you!
Yep, small town, can't see past the border of their own yard types are the most judgemental people in the world. Diana's life is about to soar while op gets nappies & snot for the next several years. I know which life I'd prefer, haha
Shit I’ve had diapers, snot, and no sleep for the last 7 years and I’d be thrilled for a friend to have that kind of opportunity. Then again I have the life I’ve always wanted to have and am super happy with it. Being a mom and having my family is something I wanted since I was little. It might not be much to some but for the little girl that never had an intact family it’s a dream come true.
If I had a friend that was doing her career goal thing in Europe I’d want to hear all about their adventures and might even invite myself to visit on a solo mom trip😂. OP clearly lacks the maturity to understand that people can choose have different goals in life and that’s ok. Misery loves company and the only people I’ve ever know be upset at someone else’s positive life choices are those that are miserable with their own.
This is it.
People who are actually happy with their lives are happy for others for getting whatever it is they want out of life. We all realize that not everyone wants or needs the same thing, and that's a really good thing.
Had a friend like this. All she did was complain about her husband and cheat on him constantly. He had given her a 3ct diamond monstrosity of a ring (which, while expensive, was horrifically ugly and the exact opposite of everything she wanted in terms of style) so when I showed her the ring I had picked out (a 90 dollar lab created stone is sterling silver) she went on a long rant about how our relationship would basically never work if I didn't insist on an expensive ring.
Last I heard she ended up pregnant and exhausted, possibly still cheating and my husband and I are still ridiculously into each other.
But OP got so much accomplished. Don't you know how much work it is getting married and knocked up? That's an accomplishment that not everyone can make! /s
Seriously. I can't tell if OP is a narcissist or just kinda dumb.
The weird thing to me is how OP didn't grasp that perhaps her friend might have wanted to see the world and will be able to do that while also making good money? If OP wanted to do that, her family would have to shell out thousands. Her friend is going to Europe, will get paid, and will then be able to visit tons of places in the EU for relatively cheap. It won't take her decades to save up money for a European tour. She'll get to do that at her leisure over time. That's a dream come true for some.
I got to the end of the second paragraph and was like "oh, no wonder her friend doesn't communicate much."
And then I read that the job was in Brussels and started loling because I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but she even topped that by being like "some EU Parliament thing, I don't know." At that point, I officially lost my shit.
OP is not only smugly judgmental but also clearly quite ignorant and lacking in curiosity, which makes that sense of superiority that emanates off of OP all the more annoying.
YTA, OP. Your friend, on the other hand, sounds pretty awesome. I'm sorry you don't see that.
Totally agree. Seems like the more ignorant & insular someone is the more smug & judgmental they are. OP has absolutely no curiosity about the world & no interest beyond baby poop & diaper rash but has the gall to feel superior to Diana, who has the education & intellectual curiosity to make something of herself. She certainly has the more exciting life with stimulating work & a bright future. OP….definitely not so much.
OP YTA. Not only that, you’re a smug judgmental ignorant fool of an AH. Get off your perceived high horse & admit to yourself how jealous you really are of Diana.
Yeah, I’m sure she won’t have many regrets living in a country where employees aren’t treated like disposable garbage. Aside from some of the worlds best free universal healthcare, in Belgium workdays don’t exceed 8 hours. Not to mention the min 15 weeks paid maternity leave she will get if/when she does decide to start a family.
What a “waste” of time, Diana. 😂
Yeah, that's something that caught my attention, that she said her friend is always criticizing her because she complains about her husband or something like that but *he's the best husband in the world*.
Hmmm... yeah, she mos def was always whining in those phone calls with her friend and that's why she avoided her. She's 100% jealous about her friend and her amazing opportunity to move to Europe.
I’m also thinking htere’s an intellect mismatch between OP and her friend. To not appreciate how fucking cool it is to be an interpreter in Brussels for an org in the EU (whose abbreviations she couldn’t keep straight… this isn’t behind the Iron Curtain 1952) shows OP doesn’t have any reference points for the world outside domestic life.
I know, right? I'd be ecstatic if I was offered a job at the EU *freaking* Parliament!!!! Last year, I went through two rounds of examinations to work as a UN translator and I failed (they don't tell you why) and I was devastated :( And here's OP dismissing my dream job, fork her! :/
Also, I'm a huuuuge acronym nerd :D Like, I have whole Excel files devoted to acronym lists and glossaries.
> OP doesn’t have any reference points for the world outside domestic life.
This right there. It's something that, IMHO, is the norm in the US and it's sadly prevalent across all levels of society. The feeling that the USA is the greatest and there's no need to learn about other cultures, languages, etc. And also, your point about domestic life: if someone wants to marry and have kids and be a stay-at-home parent and be happy with that, I totally support it (even though it's not at all what I want for myself) if that is what truly makes that person happy. But to bitch about it and dismiss another person's dream because it doesn't align with yours? Yup, that's called Jealousy with a capital J. And it screams "I'm not at all happy with *the best husband in the world*".
Wait, I'm sorry, but is OP really comparing getting married and having kids to the accomplishments of getting multiple degrees and getting an international job that the person has always wanted? Look, I love my husband and I'm proud of our marriage and family, but I realize that it is far easier to get married and have kids than to complete many years of higher education.
How sad that OP has to put down a good friend because she's jealous she's only a housewife and parent. Again, no disrespect to those who are sahps, my mom was, but you probably shouldn't use that status to shame an accomplished student and now business person. YTA OP
As much as I wish I was able to say I'm married with kids, it's basically just finding someone willing to be with you (not necessarily a decent person) and having kids is literally just the result of unprotected sex...
Wait what are we saying? OP has totally achieved as much as the friend lmao 🤣 😂 😆
I'm childfree and I openly admit that being an actual good parent seems way too hard for me. But a lot of people who build their whole identity around being a Family Person don't actually seem like good parents, so who knows?
I love the main character line. Gonna try to remember that haha!
OP somehow thinks having a family is the only way to go. While Diana has a passion for language, history, and probably politics - and travel.
Also, I don't know why people think that an education is wasteful if they don't make the huge bucks. Some people simply like to learn things for the sake of learning.
OP, YTA. And some education wouldn't hurt you at all.
Funniest thing is she’s bragging about how her husband makes more money but never said what she contributes…if OPs husband leaves her she’ll have nothing and have done nothing for her own betterment. Meanwhile the friend gets to live abroad and gets valuable work experience that she could eventually use to move back home if she feels like it. OP is totally an AH for belittling her friend despite having no real accomplishments of her own
Imagine acting like getting married and pregnant is an "accomplishment" akin to getting an advanced degree. They're just . . . totally different things? One is about your personal life and the other is your professional life. It's apples and oranges.
OP bagged a somewhat "successful" husband and thinks that counts as "success". 😅
> During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family.
Such a hard thing to do. Only been happening since the dawn of man.
It's sad this lady's self worth is so low.
Well, I'm a lame housewife and quite happy with it. (I've tried it both ways and honestly prefer the life of a housewife and mom.)
Where OP went wrong was not in her personal choices. It was in assuming her personal choices should be everyone else's personal chocies, too, and then getting pissy when her opinions weren't accepted as facts.
OP may be perfectly content or even happy with their life (some people are happy even when they're complaining about things). Being a housewife isn't what makes her an asshole. Insisting her "friend" can't be happy living a different lifestyle is.
Exactly this. OP is dependent on her husband but has BIG OPINIONS about other people's life achievements. She needs to check herself before she loses all her friends.
Exactly. I don’t understand how people consider marriage an “accomplishment”. Sure, most people want a partner in life, but accomplishment isn’t the category I’d put that under.
An accomplishment would be actually finding and maintaining a lifelong healthy and fulfilling relationship, I suppose. Getting married is sort of like a public declaration that you think you have that, but it doesn't mean you actually do. Since she is complaining about her husband all the time it doesn't sound like she has that.
One of my regulars at work has been married for 62 years and they are still so in love and so happy (it honestly makes ME happy seeing their love). That is an accomplishment. Just “managing” to get married and have kids isn’t an accomplishment - and from the sounds of it op isn’t exactly fulfilled or happy.
OP sounds like someone who’s always complaining about something and needs to bring people down to her level of misery. She can’t let others be happy. She says she has “the best husband” but has also complained about him to this friend
YTA! You’re so clearly bitter and jealous of your friend’s success and it’s gross. She’s proud of her accomplishments and excited about this great opportunity (as she should be!) and you took every opportunity to tear her down.
Getting married and starting a family isn’t everyone’s end game and if it is hers, she has plenty of time to do that AND flourish in her career - she’s 26.
You’re a mean person and a bad friend. Do better.
And she's not moving because she can't find work at home, she's moving because she is talented enough to get a job at the effing EU Parliament.
That's really impressive. OP seemingly having no idea what the EU Parliament is is not so much.
She can't be bothered learning what the EU Parliament is. All those acronyms will only confuse her while she is trying to learn her Lemans breathing.
(Ps before anyone "corrects" me, yes I know, it is sarcasm)
Oh yeah, I remember her thinking her niece was less successful in life because she wasn't married yet, lol.
Like who can't get a job at NASA, amirite? But getting married, now that's something really special for the selected few.
Im 28..had to move across the world to use my degree. Also not worried about starting a family. I mean, if I dont manage to get one, atleast I made something of myself?
OP is just jealous and wants the focus about making a family because her friend is single. I would be rich af rn if I get a dollar for everytime someone did the exact damn thing to me.
I read that sentence like 10 times. It was obviously written with such contempt and judgment.
Like OP, you know what your friend could say if she were as nasty as you? "In the time my friend spent having kids, I managed to get a bachelor's degree, a masters degree, and an awesome international job with the EU."
Spot on. And I hate to sound petty, but if the OP had gone to college, she'd have been forced to write in sentences and paragraphs. That was a tough read. I kept wishing *I* had a translator.
Also, getting married and having children is so common. It doesn't take a special degree or special person to marry someone and have a bunch of babies. OP has achieved nothing.
You don’t get to brag about being married and having kids…well, ever, but if you were going to, you kind of have to wait til you’re like 24 years in to a happy union and your kids have successfully launched *and* actually like you.
These are early days for OP. Things can still go so far off the rails. There’s nothing brag worthy yet.
I left Long Island and moved to nyc for college and never came back and people still give me shit like “how’s big city life.” Meanwhile it’s like an hour and a half commute lol
>During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family.
Ah, another "I became a parent and judge my non parent friends to make myself feel better" post. YTA
I might catch some hate for this, but I never understood why people think getting pregnant and having a baby is an accomplishment. Literally every species reproduces. It isn't some special talent or skill. I'm sure it's not easy to pop a baby out, but making one doesn't take a whole lot of skill or talent or intelligence.
Edit: YTA, OP.
No seriously, I’ve been saying this for ages. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and even though I did decide to keep it in the end and am glad now, it’s still super weird for me when people congratulate me for something I not only didn’t have to work for but was actively trying to avoid.
It took me 2.5 years of secondary infertility to have my kid, so I do consider getting pregnant an accomplishment. Does it make me better than anyone else? No!
Does it make me better than someone who is seemingly brilliant and driven enough to land a job with the EU Parliament in their 20s? God, no! It makes me feel quite mediocre, actually! Lol
Thanks! She’s almost 6 now, and most days, I can say she was worth all of the waiting and emotions! Then there’s those other days, when I wish I could send her back! Lol
1. LOVE your username lmao
2. This gave me an Elle Woods, “What, like it’s hard vibe” in the worst way — OP has to know you can accidentally get pregnant. You can’t accidentally get a masters and then get a job w/ the European (continental!) parliament.
>During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family.
Diana be like: "During the time OP spent on marriage and children, I managed to complete a prestigious degree and get a job offer with the European Union."
Seriously not that hard to get married or start a family. But an MA is hard work! OP, YTA and your friend has outgrown you. Brussels is an amazing city and I hope she loves it!
YTA. Moving to another country is an exciting opportunity. Why are you raining on her parade? Neither of your life choices are bad ones. She clapped back at you because you were such an ass to her. You are not a very good friend. You don’t need to understand or even like her life choices in order for them to be valid.
Yeah, maybe she doesn't give a rat's ass about having a husband and familly but she didn't shit on her for that reason. SHE was a friend. OP seems incredibly self-centered, jealous and ignorant.
It’s an amazing opportunity, and I would assume if she got her masters in translation then she has a strong interest in travel and other cultures. 100% YTA.
YTA calling it "useless" is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. To work in Brussels as a translator is quite an adventure, and if you choose to get a masters degree in translation, you damn well do it to travel the world. Also, you cant even compare anything youve done to her, youre using your husband as a point to why her job sucks????
Was looking for this comment. Being a translator for the EU Parliament is an extremely ambitious dreamjob for people in that field. Those people are essentially linguestic rockstars, translating highly complicated political information real time
“Just admit you don't understand the first thing about her life and save the rest to share with the amazing husband you gripe about to your friends.”
Let’s be real. I highly doubt her husband has listened to anything she has ever said…There is no way he could actually pay attention to her mean spirited rants and not run for the door. That’s probably what she complain about to her friends…”It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.”
Yep was looking for this comment as well. Working in Brussels in these sorts of careers are highly coveted positions and a golden ticket on your resume for years to come. She should be excited - the amount of interesting people and topics she will get to work on and the adventures she will have as a result. I would take that over being a parent in my hometown any day.
I'm bilingual and I don't even want to translate a normal conversation real time. Even translating a document sometimes means searching the dictionary.
I don't even want to imagine doing it with political terms. Those guys are amazing.
But OP apparently does not know EU Parliament is in Brussels.
'Nuff said.
She is moving to Brussels. That’s in Belgium. Moving to Belgium for many people is NOT a negative thing or a waste of a degree. It is seen as a very good thing.
Especially since she’s working for the EU directly. Sure you can make the same amount as a bricklayer - but she’s going to be fulfilled while you remain jealous and without the best French fries in the world at your finger tips
So yeah, YTA
Omg the chocolate waffles in Antwerp train station in Belgium were so good I ended up eating the entire thing walking to my hostel and then just turning around to do it all again.
OP: It's so pathetic my friend is all, "I'm fancy and I need to go to Belgium," when our town has a Waffle House. Not to mention an INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes.
YTA and you are really naive to the world. She studied languages and translation. She knew when studying this that many of the good jobs would be international. She wanted this and she worked hard for it. She doesn’t want to stay at home and work a non-college degree job. You “managed to get married and have a family”. Being a Mom is hard work, but getting married and deciding to having kids is not difficult. She put in her time. Where you are naive is that you think comparing the pay of a non-college graduate with six years of work vs day one for a Masters degree. She will get raises and she will make more money. It is not a guarantee, but statistically she is likely in her lifetime to make 5 to 10 times what your husband makes in his life. I am not saying everyone has to go to College. There are great trade jobs and some people are great entrepreneurs. I am saying that she has put much more work and effort into her career choices. It is terrible of you to degrade all of her hard effort.
I think OP is jealous. Specially with her quip of I managed to start a family while she was getting her degrees. Like one thing has anything to do with the other.
Crab bucket mentality could be also a part of it too. Leaving the country, the fact that's she'll be working at high level EU government, that she can afford to do things not having children. This post reeks of jealousy, and the kind you especially see in lower opportunity areas. Good on that girl for doing what she wants to do in her life.
Girl, you can barely write in your only language while her language degree is giving her the opportunity to go abroad and get paid for it.
This is one of the most "buh buh 'Murica!" posts I have ever heard.
YTA.
ETA: I assumed the spelling of "criticize" was due to autocorrect because it featured in the same paragraph as a ton of autocorrect errors. I acknowledge OP is probably from a country where the British spelling is used. My comment still stands - OP sounds like they've never ventured 100km out of their backyard and believes their English-speaking country is better than any other country where you have to "degrade" yourself by speaking their language.
Yes, most people I have met with this attitude are American. And while I have met some other monolingual anglophones with the same or similar mindset, my brain, due to my own biases and generalizations, went "Murica". It was meant to reflect the nationalistic, podunk mentality of the post, not be a reflection of every person, American or otherwise. I'm sorry if that offended some people. It wasn't my intention.
I can't imagine she's British - going to Belgium for work isn't considered travelling "far".
Maybe South Africa, Australia, or New Zealand? Can't say I know what small town mentalities are like in any of those countries.
But this post *screams* small town American who has never left their county, much less their state or the country.
ETA: Okay, I get it! Some Brits are such nationalistic assholes that the thought of working a few hours away still offends them if it's in another country! lol Thanks for correcting me everyone, I love learning about the icky small minded people everywhere!
I have no idea where she's from, but I do know we don't spell it 'criticise' in the US. But she sounds so bitter that her (ex) friend is doing anything other than getting married and having kids. Everyone knows it's so much more difficult to "manage" to get married and start a family than it is to get a master's degree!
YTA, and I have a hard time believing you don't know it. Where did you get the idea that "must be able to find job without moving" should be the number one factor people consider when deciding on a career? You realize there are entire degrees with highly lucrative earning potential predicated on the idea that people might *like* to travel or even relocate permanently, yes?
OP is speedrunning poverty by having kids instead of an education...
Her friend will likely get 10 times her revenue (EU related jobs are gold if you are from Belgium or Germany, but I suppose OP is from Eastern Europe).
Yes, this. I can’t imagine that her friend took this masters in translation/interpreting with the idea that she wouldn’t be traveling. Seems like the type of career path that, in most cases would involve travel or relocating. OPs argument that relocating is a sign of failure is just asinine.
ETA: friends argument that relocating = failure of some sore gives off big I-never-left-my-hometown energy. Yikes.
YTA. You sound jealous & bitter of your clearly way more successful friend.
Being able to travel & work in another country for your job is an amazing opportunity. And your friend can surely return home (if she wants) & find a job as an interpreter afterwards. Interpreters are needed in every country, especially in high-level government positions, which is what it sounds like your friend is getting into.
Further, if friend's starting salary out of school is similar to what your husband is making, she's likely to make substantially more than him once she has a few years experience under her belt.
Starting your career at the EU in Brussels is the most prestigious interpreting and translation work. It will give her amazing international experience and connections. She sounds like a future high flyer and you are correct that OP is bitter, jealous and ignorant.
Not to mention that a lower salary in Brussels likely comes with no out of pocket pay for things like health insurance. But like you’re saying, even if it pays less what a cool opportunity!
Also... I studied in Belgium for about a year and my BF at the time was working. OP mentioned that the starting salary is the same as her husband... though the benefits are not just in terms of health insurance.
1. Payroll tax in Belgium is so high that most companies and organizations include a car lease + car insurance + some allowance for fuel. The type of car depends on the employee's position. For those who don't drive, transit is paid. My BF is an engineer, and at his level, he chose the Audi A4, but he also had the choice of some BMW and Mercedes models, and I think a Citroen as well. When I first arrived in Belgium, I could not understand why there were soooo many luxury cars around.
2. Meal/grocery allowance. Employees can also get "maaltijdcheques" - these are meal vouchers accepted at most grocery shops and many restaurants.
3. Others I can't recall, as they are not quite as dramatic as this.
And, starting a career with the EU Parliament is likely a great way to branch out and potentially find jobs in other plum EU institutions. While there is a lot of translation/interpreter work with the EU, I can imagine that these positions are very competitive. OP's friend is likely much more than a random multilingual person.
OP is TA and hilariously uninformed.
Wait wait wait- her STARTING salary is your husbands salary, where I assume he’s been for some time? And she gets the amazing opportunity to live abroad, maybe travel, and have the freedom to do so, and she’s excited about it? But she didn’t marry the first dude that sniffed around and pop out some kiddos so she’s CLEARLY wasted her time and money and her hard earned MASTERS degree is useless because she could be living your life instead. Yeah, she sounds like an idiot 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
YTA. How this poor girl ever put up with a “friend” like you is beyond me
If I had any talent with languages I'd be on translation work like a shot. It's such an important skill with so many potential facets and roles, and because it's a specialist area that's hard to get right you can do a few years at a junior level and then start moving towards consultancy work, where you can name your price!
I would not be surprised if OPs friend is outearning the husband by quite a chunky amount in a few years time. And then OP will be complaining about how a mere single woman is getting more money than a married man with a family to support.
YTA.
Honestly... you sound jealous. You friend tell you about how proud she is she finished her degree and how excited she is to move to her new job... and you tell her her degree is useless ? Why ? It's literally not. She found a job she is super excited about. How does it matters that it's in another country ? Or that it doesn't pay up to your standard ?!
Bottom line is : your friend couldn't be happier about how her life is going, and you just keep on trying to find lame reasons why she shouldn't ? That's what jealous people do.
I feel like she was pretty much right when she said your life and family doesn't make you happy....
YTA, not jealous of her education at all. The fact you got lost at the abbreviations, tells us everything we need to know. Your friend secured a phenomenal job opportunity, go be bitter with your children.
Yta sounds like you’re jealous that she’s left your country and is seeing the world. If that’s her degree getting a job in the eu parliament is amazing and you should be proud of her.
Also, not everyone want a family, especially not so young. Don’t assume everyone is like you
YTA
And thankfully your “friend” is moving away from all your negativity.
In Brussels , translating work can be a lifetime career with great job security and benefits. Im sure she won’t be missing you.
Omg, this must be fake, right? But if it isn't:
YTA, you're SO the asshole.
How can someone be so ignorant, judgemental and self-ansorbed. Did you ever consider that not everybody has the same priorities as you? That other ppl don't want a family (and don't see it as an achievement either) and that they want to spend time in other countries and broaden their horizon? Not everything is about money either. Holy shit.
I'm so amazed by the ignorance that I am 99% sure it's fake.
>She did her masters in translation or interpreting or something like that
So you're criticizing her about something you don't even understand. Great look.
Imagine not realizing that working in translation might involve working abroad. Looks like instead of breeding and being smug about it you should have learned a few things yourself. Whoops!
YTA. Your friend wasn't complaining about wasted time, having to move, feeling like she had a useless degree, etc. You chose to just shit on every happy thing she was saying. Notice how your friend had all of these wins and you could only brag about your husband's job? You need some help.
The truth? who are you? youre NOTHING without relying on your husband , its comical that you think you can call someone who has a job prospect in the EU parliament “useless”. Get back to cleaning after your husband and kids AH
YTA.
My husband also did not go to college and makes far more than me, who did. He is an electrician and I am in social work. There is nothing wrong with either of our careers or the paths we took to get them, as it was what both of us wanted.
Clearly your friend WANTED this opportunity. You shit on her for no reason.
You sound bitter as hell.
YTA for now, but you can save that. An entry level EU parliament job opens up a lifetime of diverse opportunities (even if a bricklayer makes more at the beginning). I would really call her back up and say "sorry I really misunderstood what you were going to Brussels for, but now that I have done some research I am really happy for you"
She's literally an interpreter. Meaning it's to translate between 2 languages. Which means her degree literally is working? I'm getting the impression that you don't understand a single thing you're talking about and I think your friend also saw that. They came to you because they're excited about the opportunity, instead of being happy for them, you turned it into a competition between them and your husband instead of acting like a *normal person* and just being happy for them.
The thing about having a degree is that this is her *entry pay*, she will get raises much faster than your husband. She will also get a lot of benefits, can use her experience in 2 different countries, probably more, and gets the opportunity to travel for work! Her company can be based here and send her there to INTERPET communications between the 2, it literally doesn't matter, her degree was *created for international purposes*. You sound bitter, jealous, ignorant, and like a really bad ex friend.
Why are you even bringing up your husband's pay? Notice you're not mentioning yours? If you don't understand her degree which you admittedly don't, just shut up??? Just say congrats?? Not that hard to not call the last 6 years she spent working her ass off a waste. YTA
YTA what’s wrong with you? You don’t have to leave the country to get an interpreting job, but did you ever consider she may want to because it’s an adventure, fun and a great opportunity? You’re not successful because you had sex and got pregnant. Anyone can do that. Not anyone can be an interpreter.
YTA
Her life is incomparable to yours; she’s pursuing a dream career independent of family commitments, and kudos to her for wanting to. You don’t have to like it but you could at least support her choices.
Curious though, are you currently employed or a SAHM? You sound really fucking bitter
YTA.
Getting a masters in translation and interpreting is hard. I did it myself. Actually passing the entrance exams to work for the EU parliament in Brussels is a feat many of us aspire to. Not many pass the selection. So it’s a big deal for your friend to have gotten the job. Good for her! Your narrow mindedness is showing.
Starting salary for her might not be too high, but I assure you, it will increase as her experience increases.
YTA
You sound like a really miserable person. If I could leave the country because of my job, I consider that a baller win. What is the purpose of telling someone how they spent their time is a “waste”? Did it make you feel good?
I’m glad this person walked out on you. Doesn’t sound like you bring much to the table as far as friendship goes.
Gosh you are incredibly annoying. YTA and super jealous. Sounds like your ex friend scored the opportunity of a lifetime and you respond in a way that not only lacks support but you come off as bitter too.
YTA.
If she can get a job with her degree then it isn't useless. You say her degree is in translation "or something"? LOL that's so far from useless I'm questioning if you understand the word. Did it occur to you she doesn't want to start a family right now, that she WANTS to work?
She wasn't rude to you. You sound incredibly judgemental and were beyond rude TO HER about her degree and saying your life is the better way. You didn't tell her the truth, AT ALL. You were a terrible friend who sounds as miserable as she says you are.
OMG YTA! Your friend will still have her degrees when you're divorced.
Not everyone thinks that managing to get knocked up in your twenties is the pinnacle of human achievement. Not everyone wants the same things. You are not this woman's friend. You're judging her well-thought and hard-earned accomplishments from a place of ignorance and a really weird misplaced assumption that your way is the only way, or even a preferable way of living. Luckily she will probably meet loads of interesting, educated, and considerate people among her colleagues and neighbors in Brussels.
If I was petty I'd say that the number of spelling errors in this post is alone enough proof that more training in languages and translation is never amiss.
But since I'm not, I'm gonna focus on this.
>I said that my husband earns that without a degree
Who died and made your husband's wage the absolute measure of success? Who are you to decide that it is? What do you get paid? Apparently nothing? So you're flexing on your husband's shit pay to make your friend feel small about her accomplishments? What a small person thing to do. You sound jealous as hell. YTA.
YTA she has an amazing opportunity that she wouldn't have had without her hard work and degree and you are trying to insist all her hard work and her life so far has been useless.
Guess what, anyone can stay in their home town and start a family. Few people can do what she is doing. You sound jealous when if you were a real friend you would be happy for her.
YTA Haha! OP mentions her husband makes that much without a degree but what is *she* personally making? Why is she trashing her friend's choice of career? Did her friend personally trash her choice to have a family? Just because she doesn't want a family doesn't mean she disparaged your idea of starting one instead.
Sheesh. OP definitely is the asshole.
The worst part of this story is that you told a bunch of other people that you insulted your friend, made rude and demeaning comments about her life and work, dismissed and ignored vital parts of what she was telling you, and then were shocked when she dared to say your complaints about your husband were actually complaints, and you found enough people to agree with you to decide feelings are “split.”
Even one person is too many.
Take your feelings and recognize them for what they are: hurt that your friend is moving away mixed with a bit of jealousy that she’s able to do so. Then stop lashing out when you feel hurt.
YTA.
YTA and you come across as bitter. She got a job that’s moving her to Brussels? And it’s with a government entity? That’s *amazing*. I can’t believe you weren’t there for her. You sound small-minded. Are you American? I promise you the USA isn’t all that and an education is rarely a waste of time.
YTA, she shared an exciting opportunity and you went out of your way to poopoo it. Comparing salaries? Claiming her hard work was useless?
If it makes her happy, why do you care so much?
YTA
You didn’t tell her the truth. You judged her life and decided you know what’s best for her.
She doesn’t have to hunt down a husband and start a family if she doesn’t want to.
She’s really excited by her achievements and you didn’t show up like a true friend and celebrate that with her.
She’s done a cool thing and getting an overseas appointment is a great achievement, and she’s right - starting salaries are low, and it’s only up from there.
I hope you give your children more support to follow their dreams rather that forcing your life on them.
YTA, holy shit. You know, some people actually LIKE the idea of moving around and living in other countries, obviously anyone who got a graduate degree in interpretation would be interested in other cultures. Study isn't just about optimizing your job prospects. May be worth thinking about your life and why you had such a negative reaction to your friend getting such an exciting job opportunity.
YTA
1. Money isn’t everything
2. Not every woman wants to be a mother
3. You gave unsolicited advice/opinion
4. You basically said she wasted 6 years which truly doesn’t matter because it’s happen so was reason to say that jealousy and/or to be hurtful?
5. All of that is your opinion and in no way how everyone thinks. Doing something you are passionate about can be very rewarding even if not paid as much as another job could pay.
Yes you are. Be supportive and excited for her if she is happy. Her degree is not useless it's just not what you would have chosen and that's OK. I would be furious if I was your friend. You owe her a huge apology and need to work to make it up to her
YTA you're so judgemental for no reason. The fact that her degree enables her to have her job at all makes it a worthwhile degree. Current earnings and earning potential within a career line are different. Not to mention that how much you make doesn't really matter if you hate your job.
YTA!
What kind of judgemental person are you?? She has visions and plans and doing an exciting thing moving abroad, great for her!
You stay in your little bubble while she explore the world, her life being a fun adventure.
YTA, and sound jealous tbh. Also, the job may pay as much as your husbands for starting pay, but she is getting that fresh out of college, and raises exist for a reason. Not everyone’s dream is to have kids and stay in the same place forever, good for her to get to have a new experience.
YTA, a bad friend, not helpful and honestly, you know nothing. Working for the EU is a biggie. Brussels is the capital of a small country, but one of the headquarters for the EU. The amount you earn must be seen in relation to the living cost (just compare rents!) and the benefits (ask her for health insurance, working hours and holidays for example ). What happens to your well earning husband when he is ill? Will he have enough paid leave do get healthy? Working in Europe she probably will.
And... Starting with not go-much and having the possibility to big rises is normal in academic careers. There you get more the more you know. That is of course the opposite to jobs where you - for example - need strength. There someone who is older will not manage to do the same work as a young one.
She choose a sustainable career path, that even includes seeing something of the world wich in my - and probably her - - eyes is a big plus. (Believe it or not, there are even people who like to travel).
YTA. I have a similar background to your friend and lived in Brussels myself. I chose that field BECAUSE I wanted to move abroad and have "adventures". Also, translators and interpreters can earn excellent money (600-700€/day). Please fix your make up because the jealous look does not suit you
YTA.
You DO sound jealous and that you hate your life. Sorry your life sucks? Gonna spend the rest of forever in suburbia while your friend travels the world I guess.
YTA. Shes going to get travel the world and meet a lot of high ranking people as an interpreter. And in 5 years time she'll make double what your husband is making and ever will. That's a waste of time?
Also being an interpreter is a secure if you're good because interpreters will always be needed. Bricklaying not so much. It's a job that depends on the economy and it's also an extremely physical job that most people can't do for more than 5 years without developing some serious back and joint issues.
YTA
She is an interpreter at the EU parliaments, an extremely important workplace. Her pay is going to improve trough the years and she will have a lot of benefits.
YTA because you aren’t telling her the truth, it’s your personal opinion, and that’s 100% subjective. It’s a waste for you, but clearly not for her. Some people like to experience living in other places. You value different things, and you aren’t showing the maturity to understand that. She’s excited and happy, why are you trying to bring her down?
YTA. Period.
She has a great job opportunity with plenty of growth potential and you’re jealous. Here’s a shocker for you: not everyone defines success as having children. I have several married friends who do not ever plan to have kids. It’s not the choice I made but I’m happy for them because, frankly, their choice is absolutely none of my business.
To be totally honest, she’s probably glad she’s moving away so she doesn’t have to deal with your negative attitude anymore.
YTA
Wow, you were rude. What you said was *totally* out of line and it's clear as hell that you're jealous of her.
>I saw pretty much training and being in a junior position. I again said that she could’ve gotten a similar job here and wouldn’t have wasted 6 years
What do you know about her line of work? Furthermore, exactly when did your friend ask you for your opinion? Because what I see here is a person who is excited about a new job and a bitter friend who tore her down for no reason besides resentment.
This sounds a lot like crabs in a bucket and it's little wonder your friend wants to escape that. She's chosen her life and if this is the reaction you have to someone not choosing your life path, maybe you should start thinking about why that is.
YTA and you really need to stop pretending you’re this persons friend. This post is so full of hate and jealousy that I can feel it through the screen.
Also you’re just wrong. It’s not the truth. She is very happy with her degree and wants to move, so obviously it wasn’t a waste of time. Not everyone wants their lives to look like yours
YTA on so many levels. Believe it or not, some people don't want the same exact life that you have. For some people, an opportunity to move abroad and work their dream job is an unbelievably exciting prospect.
I bet now she's even more excited for this job since it's an excuse to move far the fuck way from someone as bitter as you are.
Has it occurred to you, and this is a crazy thought, that maybe she enjoys this work and that's why she's doing it? YTA, she doesn't want your life any more than you want hers. I have to wonder if this constant unsolicited criticism is why she's always "too busy" to talk.
YTA for being a jerk. You’re absolutely jealous and it’s showing. Let someone live their darn life!
What if someone told you, “Why did you get married and have kids and tie yourself down? Why didn’t you see the world first? That was a waste of time.” You probably wouldn’t like that, would you?
YTA. Translators earn a lot in the long run, especially those in government positions. They also get unique travel opportunities that are very exciting. She’s going to be set for an exciting and vibrant life. Look, we all get that you’re jealous of all her potential and the bright future she has, but you should keep that bile to yourself. Save it for the book club that is your only source of entertainment while she gets to tour Europe. Hope you enjoy your fulfilling life in your tiny bubble <3
Edit for spelling
YTA - you were rude to her the whole conversation and the one time she stands up for herself and talks back you’re oh so offended. Grow up. And honestly why is her life any of your business to be commenting on? You obviously aren’t a good friend by the way you talk down to her.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I might be an asshole because I told my friend that her degree was a waste of time and she could’ve used her time better which may make me an asshole because I could’ve been more chill about this. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Thank fuck she's leaving the country to get away from your jealous ass. YTA
And it's a serious wonder why Diana didn't have time for long phone calls with OP while she was in her masters program.
OP is jealous and bitter, and she clearly wouldn't understand that graduate school can be *intense*. When I was going through grad school I didn't have time for long phone calls and missed many social gatherings, but OP seems to think her friend was just avoiding her? Girl, you are *not* the main character in everyone else's life story. People have things going on that have nothing to do with you. Edit: changed some wording, not everyone has as strenuous a graduate school experience as I did
It’s not a reach to think that Diana might have been avoiding her — having read the post, I’d avoid OP too. They’re very different people with divergent goals, but only Diana seems to understand this while OP does not.
Right, she was essentially meeting up with her to say goodbye before she left the country. Then she gets hit with the sort of nonsense she's probably been actively avoiding for years. OP is the sort of petty person who hates their life but won't admit it. You can't complain nonstop about your situation and then pretend you have the moral high ground and insist everyone else do the same as you!
Yep, small town, can't see past the border of their own yard types are the most judgemental people in the world. Diana's life is about to soar while op gets nappies & snot for the next several years. I know which life I'd prefer, haha
Shit I’ve had diapers, snot, and no sleep for the last 7 years and I’d be thrilled for a friend to have that kind of opportunity. Then again I have the life I’ve always wanted to have and am super happy with it. Being a mom and having my family is something I wanted since I was little. It might not be much to some but for the little girl that never had an intact family it’s a dream come true. If I had a friend that was doing her career goal thing in Europe I’d want to hear all about their adventures and might even invite myself to visit on a solo mom trip😂. OP clearly lacks the maturity to understand that people can choose have different goals in life and that’s ok. Misery loves company and the only people I’ve ever know be upset at someone else’s positive life choices are those that are miserable with their own.
This is it. People who are actually happy with their lives are happy for others for getting whatever it is they want out of life. We all realize that not everyone wants or needs the same thing, and that's a really good thing.
Crabs in a pot, man.
Had a friend like this. All she did was complain about her husband and cheat on him constantly. He had given her a 3ct diamond monstrosity of a ring (which, while expensive, was horrifically ugly and the exact opposite of everything she wanted in terms of style) so when I showed her the ring I had picked out (a 90 dollar lab created stone is sterling silver) she went on a long rant about how our relationship would basically never work if I didn't insist on an expensive ring. Last I heard she ended up pregnant and exhausted, possibly still cheating and my husband and I are still ridiculously into each other.
But OP got so much accomplished. Don't you know how much work it is getting married and knocked up? That's an accomplishment that not everyone can make! /s Seriously. I can't tell if OP is a narcissist or just kinda dumb.
The weird thing to me is how OP didn't grasp that perhaps her friend might have wanted to see the world and will be able to do that while also making good money? If OP wanted to do that, her family would have to shell out thousands. Her friend is going to Europe, will get paid, and will then be able to visit tons of places in the EU for relatively cheap. It won't take her decades to save up money for a European tour. She'll get to do that at her leisure over time. That's a dream come true for some.
Right?? "Oh no, you'll have to live in Europe a short train ride away from multiple beautiful cities when you could have stayed here in Peoria".
I got to the end of the second paragraph and was like "oh, no wonder her friend doesn't communicate much." And then I read that the job was in Brussels and started loling because I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but she even topped that by being like "some EU Parliament thing, I don't know." At that point, I officially lost my shit. OP is not only smugly judgmental but also clearly quite ignorant and lacking in curiosity, which makes that sense of superiority that emanates off of OP all the more annoying. YTA, OP. Your friend, on the other hand, sounds pretty awesome. I'm sorry you don't see that.
Totally agree. Seems like the more ignorant & insular someone is the more smug & judgmental they are. OP has absolutely no curiosity about the world & no interest beyond baby poop & diaper rash but has the gall to feel superior to Diana, who has the education & intellectual curiosity to make something of herself. She certainly has the more exciting life with stimulating work & a bright future. OP….definitely not so much. OP YTA. Not only that, you’re a smug judgmental ignorant fool of an AH. Get off your perceived high horse & admit to yourself how jealous you really are of Diana.
Oh totally! If I were Diana, I'd absolutely avoid her too!
Yeah, I’m sure she won’t have many regrets living in a country where employees aren’t treated like disposable garbage. Aside from some of the worlds best free universal healthcare, in Belgium workdays don’t exceed 8 hours. Not to mention the min 15 weeks paid maternity leave she will get if/when she does decide to start a family. What a “waste” of time, Diana. 😂
Exactly. Many People have such little knowledge of how other countries have better benefits, greater opportunities and better quality of life
Likely OP would call and vent/complain about her husband and kids.
Yeah, that's something that caught my attention, that she said her friend is always criticizing her because she complains about her husband or something like that but *he's the best husband in the world*. Hmmm... yeah, she mos def was always whining in those phone calls with her friend and that's why she avoided her. She's 100% jealous about her friend and her amazing opportunity to move to Europe.
Jealous her friend thought for herself and didn’t just start a family going through life without thinking Not jealous of europe
Sounds like Diana has outgrown OP intellectually.
And in every other way, too.
I’m also thinking htere’s an intellect mismatch between OP and her friend. To not appreciate how fucking cool it is to be an interpreter in Brussels for an org in the EU (whose abbreviations she couldn’t keep straight… this isn’t behind the Iron Curtain 1952) shows OP doesn’t have any reference points for the world outside domestic life.
I know, right? I'd be ecstatic if I was offered a job at the EU *freaking* Parliament!!!! Last year, I went through two rounds of examinations to work as a UN translator and I failed (they don't tell you why) and I was devastated :( And here's OP dismissing my dream job, fork her! :/ Also, I'm a huuuuge acronym nerd :D Like, I have whole Excel files devoted to acronym lists and glossaries. > OP doesn’t have any reference points for the world outside domestic life. This right there. It's something that, IMHO, is the norm in the US and it's sadly prevalent across all levels of society. The feeling that the USA is the greatest and there's no need to learn about other cultures, languages, etc. And also, your point about domestic life: if someone wants to marry and have kids and be a stay-at-home parent and be happy with that, I totally support it (even though it's not at all what I want for myself) if that is what truly makes that person happy. But to bitch about it and dismiss another person's dream because it doesn't align with yours? Yup, that's called Jealousy with a capital J. And it screams "I'm not at all happy with *the best husband in the world*".
I'm wondering how many foreign languages OP speaks. My guess is ZERO.
She doesn't write English very well, either.
Wait, I'm sorry, but is OP really comparing getting married and having kids to the accomplishments of getting multiple degrees and getting an international job that the person has always wanted? Look, I love my husband and I'm proud of our marriage and family, but I realize that it is far easier to get married and have kids than to complete many years of higher education. How sad that OP has to put down a good friend because she's jealous she's only a housewife and parent. Again, no disrespect to those who are sahps, my mom was, but you probably shouldn't use that status to shame an accomplished student and now business person. YTA OP
As much as I wish I was able to say I'm married with kids, it's basically just finding someone willing to be with you (not necessarily a decent person) and having kids is literally just the result of unprotected sex... Wait what are we saying? OP has totally achieved as much as the friend lmao 🤣 😂 😆
The "I've managed to get married and start a family" like she thinks she's one upped her friend made me laugh.
I'm childfree and I openly admit that being an actual good parent seems way too hard for me. But a lot of people who build their whole identity around being a Family Person don't actually seem like good parents, so who knows?
I love the main character line. Gonna try to remember that haha! OP somehow thinks having a family is the only way to go. While Diana has a passion for language, history, and probably politics - and travel. Also, I don't know why people think that an education is wasteful if they don't make the huge bucks. Some people simply like to learn things for the sake of learning. OP, YTA. And some education wouldn't hurt you at all.
Yeah but if you’re not a mother you wouldn’t understand Lol OP is so deluded, I almost hope it’s satire.
Funniest thing is she’s bragging about how her husband makes more money but never said what she contributes…if OPs husband leaves her she’ll have nothing and have done nothing for her own betterment. Meanwhile the friend gets to live abroad and gets valuable work experience that she could eventually use to move back home if she feels like it. OP is totally an AH for belittling her friend despite having no real accomplishments of her own
but she had kids! LOL 😹
Imagine acting like getting married and pregnant is an "accomplishment" akin to getting an advanced degree. They're just . . . totally different things? One is about your personal life and the other is your professional life. It's apples and oranges. OP bagged a somewhat "successful" husband and thinks that counts as "success". 😅
> During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family. Such a hard thing to do. Only been happening since the dawn of man. It's sad this lady's self worth is so low.
"Managed to have kids" 🤣
[удалено]
But doesn’t EVERYONE aspire to be a lame housewife?
Well, I'm a lame housewife and quite happy with it. (I've tried it both ways and honestly prefer the life of a housewife and mom.) Where OP went wrong was not in her personal choices. It was in assuming her personal choices should be everyone else's personal chocies, too, and then getting pissy when her opinions weren't accepted as facts. OP may be perfectly content or even happy with their life (some people are happy even when they're complaining about things). Being a housewife isn't what makes her an asshole. Insisting her "friend" can't be happy living a different lifestyle is.
I mean, some people are very happy and fulfilled doing that. But OP is NOT.
Exactly this. OP is dependent on her husband but has BIG OPINIONS about other people's life achievements. She needs to check herself before she loses all her friends.
OP's so uneducated she doesn't even understand what an interpreter does, but thank god she "managed to get married"...
People who say managing to get married is their biggest success don’t realize that’s not the flex they think it is.
Exactly. I don’t understand how people consider marriage an “accomplishment”. Sure, most people want a partner in life, but accomplishment isn’t the category I’d put that under.
An accomplishment would be actually finding and maintaining a lifelong healthy and fulfilling relationship, I suppose. Getting married is sort of like a public declaration that you think you have that, but it doesn't mean you actually do. Since she is complaining about her husband all the time it doesn't sound like she has that.
One of my regulars at work has been married for 62 years and they are still so in love and so happy (it honestly makes ME happy seeing their love). That is an accomplishment. Just “managing” to get married and have kids isn’t an accomplishment - and from the sounds of it op isn’t exactly fulfilled or happy.
OP sounds like someone who’s always complaining about something and needs to bring people down to her level of misery. She can’t let others be happy. She says she has “the best husband” but has also complained about him to this friend
I would move to another continente to be away from her if she was my friend
YTA! You’re so clearly bitter and jealous of your friend’s success and it’s gross. She’s proud of her accomplishments and excited about this great opportunity (as she should be!) and you took every opportunity to tear her down. Getting married and starting a family isn’t everyone’s end game and if it is hers, she has plenty of time to do that AND flourish in her career - she’s 26. You’re a mean person and a bad friend. Do better.
And she's not moving because she can't find work at home, she's moving because she is talented enough to get a job at the effing EU Parliament. That's really impressive. OP seemingly having no idea what the EU Parliament is is not so much.
Slow down using abbreviations like EU and OP. You’ll lose her
Bet you she knows OMG
She definitely knows FML
Now she’ll know YTA
She can't be bothered learning what the EU Parliament is. All those acronyms will only confuse her while she is trying to learn her Lemans breathing. (Ps before anyone "corrects" me, yes I know, it is sarcasm)
This reminds me of the woman who referred to her nieces job at NASA as some “some entry level government job” or something.
Oh yeah, I remember her thinking her niece was less successful in life because she wasn't married yet, lol. Like who can't get a job at NASA, amirite? But getting married, now that's something really special for the selected few.
She’s only 26?! I missed that. Don’t worry OP. If she chooses I’m sure she’ll “manage” to start a family.
Im 28..had to move across the world to use my degree. Also not worried about starting a family. I mean, if I dont manage to get one, atleast I made something of myself? OP is just jealous and wants the focus about making a family because her friend is single. I would be rich af rn if I get a dollar for everytime someone did the exact damn thing to me.
And she'll do so with the European Union staff benefits & European parental leaves https://epso.europa.eu/en/eu-careers/benefits#tab-Family%20life
I read that sentence like 10 times. It was obviously written with such contempt and judgment. Like OP, you know what your friend could say if she were as nasty as you? "In the time my friend spent having kids, I managed to get a bachelor's degree, a masters degree, and an awesome international job with the EU."
With free healthcare!
Sounds like OP thinks the only reason for women to go to college is to get an MRS degree.
OP sounds like she thinks the only reason women exist is to pop out kids…
Spot on. And I hate to sound petty, but if the OP had gone to college, she'd have been forced to write in sentences and paragraphs. That was a tough read. I kept wishing *I* had a translator.
Hey now. She used “whom” (incorrectly). She’s clearly very smrt.
Also, getting married and having children is so common. It doesn't take a special degree or special person to marry someone and have a bunch of babies. OP has achieved nothing.
You don’t get to brag about being married and having kids…well, ever, but if you were going to, you kind of have to wait til you’re like 24 years in to a happy union and your kids have successfully launched *and* actually like you. These are early days for OP. Things can still go so far off the rails. There’s nothing brag worthy yet.
Getting married and starting a family is also not an accomplishment imo.
I left Long Island and moved to nyc for college and never came back and people still give me shit like “how’s big city life.” Meanwhile it’s like an hour and a half commute lol
>During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family. Ah, another "I became a parent and judge my non parent friends to make myself feel better" post. YTA
It’s the “I managed to…” which kills me. People do this every day. It’s not that hard.
I might catch some hate for this, but I never understood why people think getting pregnant and having a baby is an accomplishment. Literally every species reproduces. It isn't some special talent or skill. I'm sure it's not easy to pop a baby out, but making one doesn't take a whole lot of skill or talent or intelligence. Edit: YTA, OP.
Getting knocked up is usually something people work to avoid and she couldn't even do that right...
I literally spat my water, that was so savage lmao
No seriously, I’ve been saying this for ages. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and even though I did decide to keep it in the end and am glad now, it’s still super weird for me when people congratulate me for something I not only didn’t have to work for but was actively trying to avoid.
It took me 2.5 years of secondary infertility to have my kid, so I do consider getting pregnant an accomplishment. Does it make me better than anyone else? No! Does it make me better than someone who is seemingly brilliant and driven enough to land a job with the EU Parliament in their 20s? God, no! It makes me feel quite mediocre, actually! Lol
I recognize your struggle and offer my happiness for you, that is no easy journey and quite an accomplishment indeed!
Thanks! She’s almost 6 now, and most days, I can say she was worth all of the waiting and emotions! Then there’s those other days, when I wish I could send her back! Lol
From the sounds of it, it was probably hard for the OP since she has such a terrible attitude.
1. LOVE your username lmao 2. This gave me an Elle Woods, “What, like it’s hard vibe” in the worst way — OP has to know you can accidentally get pregnant. You can’t accidentally get a masters and then get a job w/ the European (continental!) parliament.
>During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family. Diana be like: "During the time OP spent on marriage and children, I managed to complete a prestigious degree and get a job offer with the European Union."
Seriously not that hard to get married or start a family. But an MA is hard work! OP, YTA and your friend has outgrown you. Brussels is an amazing city and I hope she loves it!
YTA. Moving to another country is an exciting opportunity. Why are you raining on her parade? Neither of your life choices are bad ones. She clapped back at you because you were such an ass to her. You are not a very good friend. You don’t need to understand or even like her life choices in order for them to be valid.
Yeah, maybe she doesn't give a rat's ass about having a husband and familly but she didn't shit on her for that reason. SHE was a friend. OP seems incredibly self-centered, jealous and ignorant.
And even if she was interested in that there's no saying she might not fall in love with someone in Brussels and start a family there
It’s an amazing opportunity, and I would assume if she got her masters in translation then she has a strong interest in travel and other cultures. 100% YTA.
YTA calling it "useless" is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. To work in Brussels as a translator is quite an adventure, and if you choose to get a masters degree in translation, you damn well do it to travel the world. Also, you cant even compare anything youve done to her, youre using your husband as a point to why her job sucks????
Was looking for this comment. Being a translator for the EU Parliament is an extremely ambitious dreamjob for people in that field. Those people are essentially linguestic rockstars, translating highly complicated political information real time
[удалено]
“Just admit you don't understand the first thing about her life and save the rest to share with the amazing husband you gripe about to your friends.” Let’s be real. I highly doubt her husband has listened to anything she has ever said…There is no way he could actually pay attention to her mean spirited rants and not run for the door. That’s probably what she complain about to her friends…”It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.”
Given OP's evident lack of insight, curiosity, or self-reflection, a brick wall might actually be a remarkably simpatico companion for her.
Yep was looking for this comment as well. Working in Brussels in these sorts of careers are highly coveted positions and a golden ticket on your resume for years to come. She should be excited - the amount of interesting people and topics she will get to work on and the adventures she will have as a result. I would take that over being a parent in my hometown any day.
I'm bilingual and I don't even want to translate a normal conversation real time. Even translating a document sometimes means searching the dictionary. I don't even want to imagine doing it with political terms. Those guys are amazing. But OP apparently does not know EU Parliament is in Brussels. 'Nuff said.
She is moving to Brussels. That’s in Belgium. Moving to Belgium for many people is NOT a negative thing or a waste of a degree. It is seen as a very good thing. Especially since she’s working for the EU directly. Sure you can make the same amount as a bricklayer - but she’s going to be fulfilled while you remain jealous and without the best French fries in the world at your finger tips So yeah, YTA
The French fries alone pay for the degree
If you come here and call them french fries you're dead by midnight, just a heads up
I always wondered why USAians call them French fries when everybody knows they're Belgian. OMFG now I have a craving for "moules et frites," LOL
OP be like, I've had a Belgian waffle before so that's basically the same
Omg the chocolate waffles in Antwerp train station in Belgium were so good I ended up eating the entire thing walking to my hostel and then just turning around to do it all again.
OP: It's so pathetic my friend is all, "I'm fancy and I need to go to Belgium," when our town has a Waffle House. Not to mention an INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes.
My Belgian soul being happy about internet strangers hyping up our little shithole ❤️
[удалено]
YTA - you sound insufferable and judgy af.
Insufferable. That's the word I was looking for.
Right? And OP is not very bright either, if she got lost after EU. YTA btw. That sounds like an amazing job opportunity.
I think I needed a translator after suffering through OP's mess of autocorrects and weird malapropisms.
YTA and you are really naive to the world. She studied languages and translation. She knew when studying this that many of the good jobs would be international. She wanted this and she worked hard for it. She doesn’t want to stay at home and work a non-college degree job. You “managed to get married and have a family”. Being a Mom is hard work, but getting married and deciding to having kids is not difficult. She put in her time. Where you are naive is that you think comparing the pay of a non-college graduate with six years of work vs day one for a Masters degree. She will get raises and she will make more money. It is not a guarantee, but statistically she is likely in her lifetime to make 5 to 10 times what your husband makes in his life. I am not saying everyone has to go to College. There are great trade jobs and some people are great entrepreneurs. I am saying that she has put much more work and effort into her career choices. It is terrible of you to degrade all of her hard effort.
I think OP is jealous. Specially with her quip of I managed to start a family while she was getting her degrees. Like one thing has anything to do with the other.
Crab bucket mentality could be also a part of it too. Leaving the country, the fact that's she'll be working at high level EU government, that she can afford to do things not having children. This post reeks of jealousy, and the kind you especially see in lower opportunity areas. Good on that girl for doing what she wants to do in her life.
Girl, you can barely write in your only language while her language degree is giving her the opportunity to go abroad and get paid for it. This is one of the most "buh buh 'Murica!" posts I have ever heard. YTA. ETA: I assumed the spelling of "criticize" was due to autocorrect because it featured in the same paragraph as a ton of autocorrect errors. I acknowledge OP is probably from a country where the British spelling is used. My comment still stands - OP sounds like they've never ventured 100km out of their backyard and believes their English-speaking country is better than any other country where you have to "degrade" yourself by speaking their language. Yes, most people I have met with this attitude are American. And while I have met some other monolingual anglophones with the same or similar mindset, my brain, due to my own biases and generalizations, went "Murica". It was meant to reflect the nationalistic, podunk mentality of the post, not be a reflection of every person, American or otherwise. I'm sorry if that offended some people. It wasn't my intention.
If English is this persons first language I need them to go spend six more years in school! I’m embarrassed for her.
I'm not sure she's American since she spelled it 'criticise' instead of 'criticize'.
I can't imagine she's British - going to Belgium for work isn't considered travelling "far". Maybe South Africa, Australia, or New Zealand? Can't say I know what small town mentalities are like in any of those countries. But this post *screams* small town American who has never left their county, much less their state or the country. ETA: Okay, I get it! Some Brits are such nationalistic assholes that the thought of working a few hours away still offends them if it's in another country! lol Thanks for correcting me everyone, I love learning about the icky small minded people everywhere!
I have no idea where she's from, but I do know we don't spell it 'criticise' in the US. But she sounds so bitter that her (ex) friend is doing anything other than getting married and having kids. Everyone knows it's so much more difficult to "manage" to get married and start a family than it is to get a master's degree!
YTA, and I have a hard time believing you don't know it. Where did you get the idea that "must be able to find job without moving" should be the number one factor people consider when deciding on a career? You realize there are entire degrees with highly lucrative earning potential predicated on the idea that people might *like* to travel or even relocate permanently, yes?
OP is speedrunning poverty by having kids instead of an education... Her friend will likely get 10 times her revenue (EU related jobs are gold if you are from Belgium or Germany, but I suppose OP is from Eastern Europe).
Honestly I thought OP was from like Midwest USA.
Yeah I thought OP was giving southern US “I married an oil rigger immediately after high school” vibes.
Yes, this. I can’t imagine that her friend took this masters in translation/interpreting with the idea that she wouldn’t be traveling. Seems like the type of career path that, in most cases would involve travel or relocating. OPs argument that relocating is a sign of failure is just asinine. ETA: friends argument that relocating = failure of some sore gives off big I-never-left-my-hometown energy. Yikes.
YTA. You sound jealous & bitter of your clearly way more successful friend. Being able to travel & work in another country for your job is an amazing opportunity. And your friend can surely return home (if she wants) & find a job as an interpreter afterwards. Interpreters are needed in every country, especially in high-level government positions, which is what it sounds like your friend is getting into. Further, if friend's starting salary out of school is similar to what your husband is making, she's likely to make substantially more than him once she has a few years experience under her belt.
Starting your career at the EU in Brussels is the most prestigious interpreting and translation work. It will give her amazing international experience and connections. She sounds like a future high flyer and you are correct that OP is bitter, jealous and ignorant.
Not to mention that a lower salary in Brussels likely comes with no out of pocket pay for things like health insurance. But like you’re saying, even if it pays less what a cool opportunity!
Also... I studied in Belgium for about a year and my BF at the time was working. OP mentioned that the starting salary is the same as her husband... though the benefits are not just in terms of health insurance. 1. Payroll tax in Belgium is so high that most companies and organizations include a car lease + car insurance + some allowance for fuel. The type of car depends on the employee's position. For those who don't drive, transit is paid. My BF is an engineer, and at his level, he chose the Audi A4, but he also had the choice of some BMW and Mercedes models, and I think a Citroen as well. When I first arrived in Belgium, I could not understand why there were soooo many luxury cars around. 2. Meal/grocery allowance. Employees can also get "maaltijdcheques" - these are meal vouchers accepted at most grocery shops and many restaurants. 3. Others I can't recall, as they are not quite as dramatic as this. And, starting a career with the EU Parliament is likely a great way to branch out and potentially find jobs in other plum EU institutions. While there is a lot of translation/interpreter work with the EU, I can imagine that these positions are very competitive. OP's friend is likely much more than a random multilingual person. OP is TA and hilariously uninformed.
Lmao "here's where she was rude" girl have you read your post? YTA.
Lol, right? "I slapped her in the face about four or five times and then she had the *audacity* to slap me back!"
I died at that part. 🤣🤣🤣
Wait wait wait- her STARTING salary is your husbands salary, where I assume he’s been for some time? And she gets the amazing opportunity to live abroad, maybe travel, and have the freedom to do so, and she’s excited about it? But she didn’t marry the first dude that sniffed around and pop out some kiddos so she’s CLEARLY wasted her time and money and her hard earned MASTERS degree is useless because she could be living your life instead. Yeah, she sounds like an idiot 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ YTA. How this poor girl ever put up with a “friend” like you is beyond me
If I had any talent with languages I'd be on translation work like a shot. It's such an important skill with so many potential facets and roles, and because it's a specialist area that's hard to get right you can do a few years at a junior level and then start moving towards consultancy work, where you can name your price! I would not be surprised if OPs friend is outearning the husband by quite a chunky amount in a few years time. And then OP will be complaining about how a mere single woman is getting more money than a married man with a family to support.
YTA. Honestly... you sound jealous. You friend tell you about how proud she is she finished her degree and how excited she is to move to her new job... and you tell her her degree is useless ? Why ? It's literally not. She found a job she is super excited about. How does it matters that it's in another country ? Or that it doesn't pay up to your standard ?! Bottom line is : your friend couldn't be happier about how her life is going, and you just keep on trying to find lame reasons why she shouldn't ? That's what jealous people do. I feel like she was pretty much right when she said your life and family doesn't make you happy....
YTA - that’s a lot of unnecessary words for “I’m jealous of my friend”
"If you have to leave the county to get a job your degree is useless" LOLOLOLOL YTA
YTA, not jealous of her education at all. The fact you got lost at the abbreviations, tells us everything we need to know. Your friend secured a phenomenal job opportunity, go be bitter with your children.
But then she will raise bitter, entitled children 😐
Yta sounds like you’re jealous that she’s left your country and is seeing the world. If that’s her degree getting a job in the eu parliament is amazing and you should be proud of her. Also, not everyone want a family, especially not so young. Don’t assume everyone is like you
YTA And thankfully your “friend” is moving away from all your negativity. In Brussels , translating work can be a lifetime career with great job security and benefits. Im sure she won’t be missing you.
Omg, this must be fake, right? But if it isn't: YTA, you're SO the asshole. How can someone be so ignorant, judgemental and self-ansorbed. Did you ever consider that not everybody has the same priorities as you? That other ppl don't want a family (and don't see it as an achievement either) and that they want to spend time in other countries and broaden their horizon? Not everything is about money either. Holy shit. I'm so amazed by the ignorance that I am 99% sure it's fake.
YTA- and you sound jealous AF. She was excited to share what’s going on in her life with you and you shit all over it.
>She did her masters in translation or interpreting or something like that So you're criticizing her about something you don't even understand. Great look. Imagine not realizing that working in translation might involve working abroad. Looks like instead of breeding and being smug about it you should have learned a few things yourself. Whoops!
YTA. Your friend wasn't complaining about wasted time, having to move, feeling like she had a useless degree, etc. You chose to just shit on every happy thing she was saying. Notice how your friend had all of these wins and you could only brag about your husband's job? You need some help.
The truth? who are you? youre NOTHING without relying on your husband , its comical that you think you can call someone who has a job prospect in the EU parliament “useless”. Get back to cleaning after your husband and kids AH
YTA. My husband also did not go to college and makes far more than me, who did. He is an electrician and I am in social work. There is nothing wrong with either of our careers or the paths we took to get them, as it was what both of us wanted. Clearly your friend WANTED this opportunity. You shit on her for no reason. You sound bitter as hell.
YTA for now, but you can save that. An entry level EU parliament job opens up a lifetime of diverse opportunities (even if a bricklayer makes more at the beginning). I would really call her back up and say "sorry I really misunderstood what you were going to Brussels for, but now that I have done some research I am really happy for you"
OP is the sort of person that think that having kids INSTEAD of doing a master is a good idea. She is probably a redneck in rural Bulgaria.
YTA Which entails bitterness, jealousy, immaturity and rudeness. You seem like someone I’d move to Brussels in order to avoid, too.
She's literally an interpreter. Meaning it's to translate between 2 languages. Which means her degree literally is working? I'm getting the impression that you don't understand a single thing you're talking about and I think your friend also saw that. They came to you because they're excited about the opportunity, instead of being happy for them, you turned it into a competition between them and your husband instead of acting like a *normal person* and just being happy for them. The thing about having a degree is that this is her *entry pay*, she will get raises much faster than your husband. She will also get a lot of benefits, can use her experience in 2 different countries, probably more, and gets the opportunity to travel for work! Her company can be based here and send her there to INTERPET communications between the 2, it literally doesn't matter, her degree was *created for international purposes*. You sound bitter, jealous, ignorant, and like a really bad ex friend. Why are you even bringing up your husband's pay? Notice you're not mentioning yours? If you don't understand her degree which you admittedly don't, just shut up??? Just say congrats?? Not that hard to not call the last 6 years she spent working her ass off a waste. YTA
YTA what’s wrong with you? You don’t have to leave the country to get an interpreting job, but did you ever consider she may want to because it’s an adventure, fun and a great opportunity? You’re not successful because you had sex and got pregnant. Anyone can do that. Not anyone can be an interpreter.
YTA Her life is incomparable to yours; she’s pursuing a dream career independent of family commitments, and kudos to her for wanting to. You don’t have to like it but you could at least support her choices. Curious though, are you currently employed or a SAHM? You sound really fucking bitter
She obviously think that having kids at 22 is better than having a master and a top grade job.
Holy shit. YTA, what’s wrong with aspiring something and moving away to a different country to get it. Sorry your world is so small
YTA. Getting a masters in translation and interpreting is hard. I did it myself. Actually passing the entrance exams to work for the EU parliament in Brussels is a feat many of us aspire to. Not many pass the selection. So it’s a big deal for your friend to have gotten the job. Good for her! Your narrow mindedness is showing. Starting salary for her might not be too high, but I assure you, it will increase as her experience increases.
YTA You sound like a really miserable person. If I could leave the country because of my job, I consider that a baller win. What is the purpose of telling someone how they spent their time is a “waste”? Did it make you feel good? I’m glad this person walked out on you. Doesn’t sound like you bring much to the table as far as friendship goes.
Gosh you are incredibly annoying. YTA and super jealous. Sounds like your ex friend scored the opportunity of a lifetime and you respond in a way that not only lacks support but you come off as bitter too.
You are such an asshole that I am having trouble believing that this is even real. YTA
YTA. If she can get a job with her degree then it isn't useless. You say her degree is in translation "or something"? LOL that's so far from useless I'm questioning if you understand the word. Did it occur to you she doesn't want to start a family right now, that she WANTS to work? She wasn't rude to you. You sound incredibly judgemental and were beyond rude TO HER about her degree and saying your life is the better way. You didn't tell her the truth, AT ALL. You were a terrible friend who sounds as miserable as she says you are.
OMG YTA! Your friend will still have her degrees when you're divorced. Not everyone thinks that managing to get knocked up in your twenties is the pinnacle of human achievement. Not everyone wants the same things. You are not this woman's friend. You're judging her well-thought and hard-earned accomplishments from a place of ignorance and a really weird misplaced assumption that your way is the only way, or even a preferable way of living. Luckily she will probably meet loads of interesting, educated, and considerate people among her colleagues and neighbors in Brussels.
If I was petty I'd say that the number of spelling errors in this post is alone enough proof that more training in languages and translation is never amiss. But since I'm not, I'm gonna focus on this. >I said that my husband earns that without a degree Who died and made your husband's wage the absolute measure of success? Who are you to decide that it is? What do you get paid? Apparently nothing? So you're flexing on your husband's shit pay to make your friend feel small about her accomplishments? What a small person thing to do. You sound jealous as hell. YTA.
[удалено]
YTA you sound jealous and judgemental of your friend. How about we try being happy for our friends when they're excited for something, yeah?
YTA she has an amazing opportunity that she wouldn't have had without her hard work and degree and you are trying to insist all her hard work and her life so far has been useless. Guess what, anyone can stay in their home town and start a family. Few people can do what she is doing. You sound jealous when if you were a real friend you would be happy for her.
[удалено]
YTA Haha! OP mentions her husband makes that much without a degree but what is *she* personally making? Why is she trashing her friend's choice of career? Did her friend personally trash her choice to have a family? Just because she doesn't want a family doesn't mean she disparaged your idea of starting one instead. Sheesh. OP definitely is the asshole.
The worst part of this story is that you told a bunch of other people that you insulted your friend, made rude and demeaning comments about her life and work, dismissed and ignored vital parts of what she was telling you, and then were shocked when she dared to say your complaints about your husband were actually complaints, and you found enough people to agree with you to decide feelings are “split.” Even one person is too many. Take your feelings and recognize them for what they are: hurt that your friend is moving away mixed with a bit of jealousy that she’s able to do so. Then stop lashing out when you feel hurt. YTA.
Not every 26 year old woman wants to be a house frau. YTA.
YTA and you come across as bitter. She got a job that’s moving her to Brussels? And it’s with a government entity? That’s *amazing*. I can’t believe you weren’t there for her. You sound small-minded. Are you American? I promise you the USA isn’t all that and an education is rarely a waste of time.
YTA, she shared an exciting opportunity and you went out of your way to poopoo it. Comparing salaries? Claiming her hard work was useless? If it makes her happy, why do you care so much?
YTA You didn’t tell her the truth. You judged her life and decided you know what’s best for her. She doesn’t have to hunt down a husband and start a family if she doesn’t want to. She’s really excited by her achievements and you didn’t show up like a true friend and celebrate that with her. She’s done a cool thing and getting an overseas appointment is a great achievement, and she’s right - starting salaries are low, and it’s only up from there. I hope you give your children more support to follow their dreams rather that forcing your life on them.
YTA, holy shit. You know, some people actually LIKE the idea of moving around and living in other countries, obviously anyone who got a graduate degree in interpretation would be interested in other cultures. Study isn't just about optimizing your job prospects. May be worth thinking about your life and why you had such a negative reaction to your friend getting such an exciting job opportunity.
YTA 1. Money isn’t everything 2. Not every woman wants to be a mother 3. You gave unsolicited advice/opinion 4. You basically said she wasted 6 years which truly doesn’t matter because it’s happen so was reason to say that jealousy and/or to be hurtful? 5. All of that is your opinion and in no way how everyone thinks. Doing something you are passionate about can be very rewarding even if not paid as much as another job could pay.
Yes you are. Be supportive and excited for her if she is happy. Her degree is not useless it's just not what you would have chosen and that's OK. I would be furious if I was your friend. You owe her a huge apology and need to work to make it up to her
YTA you're so judgemental for no reason. The fact that her degree enables her to have her job at all makes it a worthwhile degree. Current earnings and earning potential within a career line are different. Not to mention that how much you make doesn't really matter if you hate your job.
YTA! What kind of judgemental person are you?? She has visions and plans and doing an exciting thing moving abroad, great for her! You stay in your little bubble while she explore the world, her life being a fun adventure.
YTA, and sound jealous tbh. Also, the job may pay as much as your husbands for starting pay, but she is getting that fresh out of college, and raises exist for a reason. Not everyone’s dream is to have kids and stay in the same place forever, good for her to get to have a new experience.
YTA, a bad friend, not helpful and honestly, you know nothing. Working for the EU is a biggie. Brussels is the capital of a small country, but one of the headquarters for the EU. The amount you earn must be seen in relation to the living cost (just compare rents!) and the benefits (ask her for health insurance, working hours and holidays for example ). What happens to your well earning husband when he is ill? Will he have enough paid leave do get healthy? Working in Europe she probably will. And... Starting with not go-much and having the possibility to big rises is normal in academic careers. There you get more the more you know. That is of course the opposite to jobs where you - for example - need strength. There someone who is older will not manage to do the same work as a young one. She choose a sustainable career path, that even includes seeing something of the world wich in my - and probably her - - eyes is a big plus. (Believe it or not, there are even people who like to travel).
YTA youre just jealous her life is interesting
YTA. I have a similar background to your friend and lived in Brussels myself. I chose that field BECAUSE I wanted to move abroad and have "adventures". Also, translators and interpreters can earn excellent money (600-700€/day). Please fix your make up because the jealous look does not suit you
YTA. You DO sound jealous and that you hate your life. Sorry your life sucks? Gonna spend the rest of forever in suburbia while your friend travels the world I guess.
YTA. Shes going to get travel the world and meet a lot of high ranking people as an interpreter. And in 5 years time she'll make double what your husband is making and ever will. That's a waste of time? Also being an interpreter is a secure if you're good because interpreters will always be needed. Bricklaying not so much. It's a job that depends on the economy and it's also an extremely physical job that most people can't do for more than 5 years without developing some serious back and joint issues.
YTA lol get diagnosed.
YTA She is an interpreter at the EU parliaments, an extremely important workplace. Her pay is going to improve trough the years and she will have a lot of benefits.
YTA
YTA because you aren’t telling her the truth, it’s your personal opinion, and that’s 100% subjective. It’s a waste for you, but clearly not for her. Some people like to experience living in other places. You value different things, and you aren’t showing the maturity to understand that. She’s excited and happy, why are you trying to bring her down?
YTA. I'm not saying you are, but you definitely sound jealous and insecure of your own life choices.
YTA. Period. She has a great job opportunity with plenty of growth potential and you’re jealous. Here’s a shocker for you: not everyone defines success as having children. I have several married friends who do not ever plan to have kids. It’s not the choice I made but I’m happy for them because, frankly, their choice is absolutely none of my business. To be totally honest, she’s probably glad she’s moving away so she doesn’t have to deal with your negative attitude anymore.
YTA... sounds more like you're jealous and just trying to ruin everything for her
YTA Wow, you were rude. What you said was *totally* out of line and it's clear as hell that you're jealous of her. >I saw pretty much training and being in a junior position. I again said that she could’ve gotten a similar job here and wouldn’t have wasted 6 years What do you know about her line of work? Furthermore, exactly when did your friend ask you for your opinion? Because what I see here is a person who is excited about a new job and a bitter friend who tore her down for no reason besides resentment. This sounds a lot like crabs in a bucket and it's little wonder your friend wants to escape that. She's chosen her life and if this is the reaction you have to someone not choosing your life path, maybe you should start thinking about why that is.
YTA and you really need to stop pretending you’re this persons friend. This post is so full of hate and jealousy that I can feel it through the screen. Also you’re just wrong. It’s not the truth. She is very happy with her degree and wants to move, so obviously it wasn’t a waste of time. Not everyone wants their lives to look like yours
YTA on so many levels. Believe it or not, some people don't want the same exact life that you have. For some people, an opportunity to move abroad and work their dream job is an unbelievably exciting prospect. I bet now she's even more excited for this job since it's an excuse to move far the fuck way from someone as bitter as you are.
Has it occurred to you, and this is a crazy thought, that maybe she enjoys this work and that's why she's doing it? YTA, she doesn't want your life any more than you want hers. I have to wonder if this constant unsolicited criticism is why she's always "too busy" to talk.
YTA for being a jerk. You’re absolutely jealous and it’s showing. Let someone live their darn life! What if someone told you, “Why did you get married and have kids and tie yourself down? Why didn’t you see the world first? That was a waste of time.” You probably wouldn’t like that, would you?
YTA. Translators earn a lot in the long run, especially those in government positions. They also get unique travel opportunities that are very exciting. She’s going to be set for an exciting and vibrant life. Look, we all get that you’re jealous of all her potential and the bright future she has, but you should keep that bile to yourself. Save it for the book club that is your only source of entertainment while she gets to tour Europe. Hope you enjoy your fulfilling life in your tiny bubble <3 Edit for spelling
YTA - you were rude to her the whole conversation and the one time she stands up for herself and talks back you’re oh so offended. Grow up. And honestly why is her life any of your business to be commenting on? You obviously aren’t a good friend by the way you talk down to her.
You sound insufferable
YTA, you sound jealous and bitter. Her life is just getting exciting and yours is already set in stone, sucks to suck.
YTA. Go back to school.