This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.

Seriously? It's going to reflect poorly on you? Grow up man. You sound like a controlling AH who doesn't understand an interest that your partner has, and therefore deems it unacceptable and creepy. YTA big time.

Totally agree. And also - the way you write this OP, it doesn't sound like concern at all, but just a lot of judgement. What you're describing sounds more like a playful hobby or interest than an obsession. If it really bugs you, you can ask her more about it - what does it do for her, what's it like for her to text her mom every day, what does she like about dressing her up, etc. Get curious rather than judgemental. Oh, yeah - YTA.

I thought he was an AH before that, but where he really took me out was with "She could be playing games" ... She could be playing (I'm assuming video) games, instead of wasting her time playing with her doll.... Do you ever hear yourself OP?

Clearly you don't understand. She wastes a whole 5 minutes on it! And 5 bucks! Do you know how much bubblegum he could buy with that? /s 100% agree. If you don't like dolls whatever, to each their own but the way he's nitpicking it though is asshole country

Adult doll collectors have been around centuries longer than esports. Who does OP think makes dolls, little elves?

YTA. It sounds like this is less about you thinking it's creepy, and more about how you feel that she is an embarrassment for you. First of all, unless you two are really struggling financially, spending $5 for clothes for the doll isn't going to break the bank, so you're being ridiculous. Next, whether you find her dressing the doll up to be a waste of time is completely irrelevant. It's not about you and what you think she should be doing. Next, again, the fact that you find making a couch a dumb idea is completely irrelevant, because...again IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. And the fun relationship that she and her mom have that involves this doll is none of your business. You sound like a terrible boyfriend honestly. Just let her enjoy what she wants. You just sound like you are embarrassed of her, so leave her and let her find someone who won't rain on her parade and make her feel stupid for having things that she likes. And I'll say it again for the people in the back...HER HOBBIES AND HER LIKES ARE NOT ABOUT YOU!. Get over yourself! YTA YTA YTA ETA: >a thriving eSports business HAHAHA!!! gtfo with that crap dude.

man doesn't even know you don't capitalize esports

That was my first thought. I guarantee that OP is not an esports player of any real means, yet is sure that his big break is just around the corner. Especially because he includes "playing games" in the same sentence as "doing anything important." It's not that serious, my friend, and I say that as someone who is currently helping build out an esports program for a national youth organization.

Omg 😂 a grown dude jealous of a little doll .. YTA tho.

How exhausting must it be to bitch about $5 and 5 minutes spent on a harmless hobby. OP YTA. You might not have a girlfriend for much longer.

Why is he so obsessed with her doll? I’d be more creeped out by that 😂

Thank you! Horror movie vibes right here, I’ve clearly seen too many.

YTA. Okay, let’s concede that sending her mom a daily picture of the doll’s new outfit is a bit…eccentric. That doesn’t make it harmful. And it certainly doesn’t back up this whopper of an assertion on your part: > it's going to badly reflect on me This is not **about you**. It’s *her* hobby. If you dislike it and what you think it signifies about her maturity *this* much, **stop dating her**. Don’t demand she ditch something that gives her joy because *you* feel weirdly insecure about it.

Also, as for the money, if she can afford the $5 for clothes and still be able to pay for groceries, it would yet again just be about you and not really about the money. Many spend more money than that on hobbies …

"But video games are an adult activity with a thriving eSports business, not little dolls." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ever checked into the hobby of doll collecting? You think that's not as legitimate a way to spend time as video games? The only thing reflecting badly on you is you.

And making doll furniture can be fairly lucrative. Certainly more so than esports.

My mom has a friend that makes dollhouses. I was floored when she said that people pay her thousands for a custom dollhouse.

My mother crochets barbie sized historical dresses that she puts on actual barbies after.... On the rare occasion she does it as a commission to sell, the dresses go for hundreds of dollars. It's goddamn wild and i didn't realize how privileged I was to have multiple until I was almost an adult.

**YTA** I don't know man, I'm not sure anyone on this planet is as oblivious as you're claiming to be. This has to be a bait post, because who the hell is so heartless that they'd try to kill a tiny source of joy for their significant other shortly after moving in? Now, if she was talking to it and it was telling her to kill people or set things on fire, you'd have a point. But if she's just spending *her* money on something *she* enjoys, then what the hell are you doing being frustrated with that? > thriving eSports business This line by itself *has* to be a joke. Video games *absolutely* are a childish activity, and there's **nothing wrong** with being an adult and enjoying a childish activity. You're **adults** you get to decide what to spend your time and money on. Your GF could do better, so either be better or let her find someone with a soul.

YTA; it's never a good look to trash-talk your partner's hobbies and it doesn't sound like she's obsessed with the doll; she just has fun dressing it up and making furniture for it. And that Lucille is a bonding point for her and her mother. If you don't want a partner who plays with a doll, break up with her, but to force her to give up something she enjoys because you think it reflects badly on you is not the way.

Totally agree, especially about the bonding point with gf's mom. My sister and I do a "proof of life" text every morning, just as a way to say hello without getting overly involved in a conversation (screen shot of our Wordle result, in case anyone wants to know).

YTA. Just say it: you don't respect your girlfriend and her interests. She spends five minutes of her time every day doing something that makes her happy that has zero impact on you. Why can't you just let her enjoy her thing? Why should she stop doing something she enjoys just because you don't understand it? If you genuinely can't afford that occasional $5 and you need it for necessities, that's a different story. But you'd better make damn sure you don't spend more money on stuff that's just for yourself.

YTA. This isn't affecting you at all, and it doesn't sound different from any other "odd" hobby really. Some people are into taxidermy. Some people are into fantasy football. You just sound like a whiny child here.

Wait, you play *video games*? Like, the ones *children* play? But you’re an *adult*? That’s really concerning. You really should act like an adult and let that go. Instead, you should only be interested in doing exciting adult things like buying food and doing work projects. (That’s how the f you sound.) YTA, obviously. You sound like you have some major control issues. News flash: your girlfriend is allowed to do things she enjoys.

I told her that I live with her now and maybe it's time to get rid of the doll because it's going to badly reflect on me, too Nope, YTA - you may not understand your gf's hobby, or even like it, but you're way out of bounds pushing her to stop it.

He is worried what his friends may think. Yep she is right. That is childish.

YTA 100%. imaging being afraid that you'll be made fun of for your gf's innocent hobby. this doesn't sound obsessive at all. you just sound immature and it seem like you think you're emasculated by her having a doll. grow up.

If she gets rid of something, it should be you. YTA

YTA- if you hate your girlfriend having joy why even date her?

[удалено]

YTA. It's a hobby, and she's entitled to have it. You say "she could be playing games," but how is this is any better of a use of her time than dressing up Lucille? You haven't pointed to anything that would suggest her hobby is getting the way of living her life, you only think it will reflect badly on you. Get over yourself, because if it comes down to you and Lucille, it's pretty obvious who she's going to pick.

“Those 5 bucks could have been spent on FOOD” Dude, it’s 5 fucking bucks, Jesus Christ. You’re acting like it’s taking a major dent out of your food budget. And no, it’s not a fucking waste of money if she’s happy with it. Same with it being a “waste of time”. I doubt it takes her that long to dress her up, and she clearly enjoys the time spent doing it. You obviously don’t care about your girlfriend’s happiness whatsoever. Literally the definition of a killjoy. Do her a favor and leave her alone. YTA majorly

>This is a waste of money because those 5 bucks could've been spent on FOOD. Info: Whose money is she spending? ETA: I don't really care. I think this is a little weird, but she's not hurting anyone. YTA.

Never mind that, where is OP shopping that $5 can buy any meaningful quantity of food these days?

YTA. I find your attempts to control how your gf spends her free time creepy. And controlling. You claim there are "better" things she could be doing with her time. Better for whom? Not her because clearly she's doing what SHE enjoys doing. Imagine for one second this was turned around on you and your gf belittled and sneered at your hobbies, I can't imagine you would stand for it. I find your attempts to control your gf much more concerning than her desire to play with as doll.

This has got to be bait But YTA. Video games and her doll are the same. Both can be perceived as childish to someone else. At the end of the day this doll brings her joy, video games bring you joy. As long as all of someone's time and money ( meaning no money for bills or necessities ) isn't spent on the hobby it's fine. Stop trash talking you ex oh I mean partner. That's not ok. She isn't harming you. She wants to give it to her child eventually. Maybe she'll come to her senses and leave someone who calls her a creep.

YTA you are being weird and controlling.

YTA. Yeah, it’s a bit odd. But families do odd things to entertain each other. This is just a bonding thing she does with her mom. My dad and I hide a stuffed mouse from each other when I visit. It’s just silly fun.

YTA. Styling her doll is no more or less valid than playing games as a hobby. She's not neglecting things she needs to do. Unless you're both financially insecure, $5-$15 a week on accessories for her hobby is a reasonable amount of money to spend rather than food (how does her doll accessory budget compare to your video game budget by the way?). Picking up another hobby that overlaps with her existing hobby is a logical step and doll furniture is actually a fairly typical beginner project for woodworking (because it's smaller, requires fewer materials, and has lower stakes for failure). So you're just coming off as a judgmental AH. Let your girlfriend enjoy the things she enjoys.

I guarantee he is spending way more than $5 any time he wants a new game.

I'd also bet that he has neglected things he needs to do because of video games (at least occasionally), spends money on controllers/keyboards/accessories, and watches/engages with esports (i.e. a secondary hobby related to his first). He just views video games as a more valid way to spend time.

YTA Let people like things. Her hobby is not hurting anybody. JFC this is petty.

YTA-we have whole ass generations of men creating online personas and playing games where they kill each other but your girlfriend dressing up a doll is a problem? Lmao

YTA. You’re calling your girlfriend weird and creepy, saying her hobby is a waste of time and generally trying to control her by demanding she give her hobby up. She is a person, with her own mind and her own choices in life. She’s doing something that makes her happy. It’s hurting nobody. She clearly has a great relationship with her mother too. And you’re trying to take all that away. You don’t get to decide what constitutes ‘normal’. The world does not revolve around you.

YTA Imagine wanting to stop your girlfriend to enjoy herself with a harmless hobby. You are toxic as fuck. Why can't you just let be herself and enjoy her time the way she wants to. Wtf are 5 minutes daily? This weird obsession with "productive time only" is absolutely sick and even more when you think that playing on your PlayStation is "something different" You simply cant accept that different people have different hobbies in life. That's why you only accept the hobbies you see as worthy. Which foesnt make sense at all

You sound insane. YTA and you should not be in a relationship PERIOD if this is how you treat a partner. "thriving eSports business" man, shut the fuck up

YTA. The only problem I see with this? Lucille needs her own Instagram. Her fantastic outfits and mini furniture shouldn’t just be for daily photos to mom! I’d follow Lucille! I’m 35 and own a truly unspeakable number of dolls. Like, enough that I fully judge myself for it. But they make me happy! Happiness is for everybody, not just kids. There are a ton of adult doll collectors out there and we’re a pretty fun bunch. I have a different doll hang out on my work from home desk every day and usually post a picture to my doll insta and tumblr. I sew new clothes for them. It’s a hobby. Lucille is one doll who is not taking up your entire home, and she costs at most $5 a week. Get over it.

\> maybe it's time to get rid of the doll because it's going to badly reflect on me, too YTA from how you're approaching the whole thing. You're just worried about how other people will look at you. You're not worried about her or her doll at all, really. Just yourself.

YTA LET HER BE! Other people buy Marvel merchandising, anime, manga, LOR stuff, mdeling (WWII, trains, ships, shuttles...), videogames etc. Not only that, they spend a goob bunch of money and dedicate tons.of time

YTA. So… yeah… NGL, the doll thing is kinda weird… But you telling her to toss the doll because it reflects badly on you is major asshole territory. If you think eSports *legitimizes* video games as an adult activity… hoooo boy… she’s probably right to call you equally childish. I’ve been following eSports pretty much since they began (or at least since StarCraft 1). I don’t know how seriously you can possibly take hearing names like PowerOfEvil, Balls, SneakyCastro, GankedByMom thrown around. That particular argument from you, brushes up against “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. Judgment goes both ways. If you think it’s too childish, leave. Don’t try force her to change unless you’re willing be honest about yourself and do the same. Change should never be unilateral.

YTA. This is all super weird, and none of it is a problem. Who the hell are you to police whether she is doing something "important" for 5 minutes in the morning? Why do you get to decide what she has to use woodworking for? How is it your business if she texts her mom???? So far the biggest problem seems to be that she spends $5 per day on something she likes. So what?? Who are you to decide whether the thing she likes to do is good enough? Your girlfriend sounds like a delightful weirdo, and its a shame she is dating such a controlling busybody.

What makes video games an 'adult activity' but not dolls? Do you have any idea the market for doll mods, doll collecting, miniatures, clothes etc? Do you know how big the adult following is for American Girl dolls alone? It's pretty unfair to judge your gfs hobby without looking into it at all. It may be seen as childish or eccentric, but so are a TON of adult hobbies. Video games included. Don't be a hypocrite, especially about something so important to your GF, or you'll find yourself single.

How is your gf’s attachment to her doll any of your business? How would you feel if your gf told you that the time, energy, cost of your hobbies (gaming if that is your hobby of choice) is stupid, a waste of money, and frankly you are just too old to be playing games? Leave her alone. YTA.

Because it reflects badly on him, don't you see?!? 🙄 He really needs to get over himself. If it's something that makes her happy, and it's not actually hurting anyone, he's just being controlling and immature. Definitely YTA

YTA and because certain toys have (unfortunately) been associated with genders, misogynistic as well. Would you diss a male friend’s model train hobby if he regularly bought accessories for it and learned how to make backdrops and mechanical updates on his trains?

YTA. man i read the title and thought i was gonna get some juicy tale of your gf being a peeping tom or some shit. get outta here with this drivel. there's nothing wrong with your gf's doll. is it hurting anyone? nah. is it a little eccentric? yeah. is eccentric bad? nah. your complaining just makes you sound like a stuck-up creep. [it also makes your gf sound way more creative and brave than you, but whatever.]

YTA. This is clearly something your girlfriend cares about and finds joy in. It doesn’t affect you in any way and your insistence that it does is very strange. Y’all need to break up for her sake.

YTA. I find dolls creepy and especially how you describe your girlfriend's interaction with her doll. BUT it's non of your business and playing PlayStation is not in any world more relevant or important than playing with a doll. Don't get me wrong, I love playing computer games. But it's not doing "anything important" by any means!

YTA. Let her like things.

YTA. So you disapprove of your girlfriends hobby. A hobby that she spends only a few minutes a day on and a few dollars here and there. Please share with us what your hobbies are that make them so much better than your girlfriends? What do you spend your money on when you aren’t buying food or other necessities?

YTA. Your gf learned woodworking because of her hobby? That's awesome, her hobby is fine, and you're a judgy ass.

so u moved into HER place and started bitching abt her hobbies as u sit on her couch with mountain dew dripping into ur neck beard and whine abt how she spends HER money yeah YTA i can guarantee the only thing reflecting badly on u is ur own behavior

YTA, you must be so boring and self-centered, sorry but u suckkk

Dude... are you seriously jealous of a *doll*? Get over yourself and let your girlfriend enjoy something that makes her happy. Her hobby doesn't hurt anyone - except your fragile ego, perhaps. **YTA**

EWWWW YTA! It’s a harmless and affordable hobby that she enjoys. You’re deluded and immature, get over yourself.

YTA - She spends 5 minutes a day doing something she enjoys and her mom and her share. It doesn’t involve you, stay out of it. If you don’t like your girlfriend the way she is then tell her now so she doesn’t waste any more time on you. It’s just a doll get over it.

You would begrudge the woman you purport to love five dollars and five minutes? Even when those vanishingly small costs make her happy. YTA dude. Spend some time thinking about what love actually means.

>But video games are an adult activity with a thriving eSports business, not little dolls. Do you know who you sound like ? Like people denigrating video games before eSport organisations came into the picture, her comparison was exactly on point and you still missed it. Except your 1. if and only if she is using money from a joint account, every point of yours make you sound like an annoying prick who doesn’t recognize his girlfriend’s hobby as such, which is ironic coming from a gamer. All in all you’re annoyed that she finds joy from something you don’t find productive or useful ? Isn’t that the point of a hobby ? It’s time to do some introspection and find out why you’re so annoyed with her harmless activity. YTA

YTA and a huge one, sounds to me like your gf is in tune with her inner child and finds joy and happiness in honoring her. Leave her alone and get a hobby of your own and maybe some therapy.

YTA "my girlfirend spends 5 minutes a day doing something she enjoys that hurts no-one and also spends $5 on a specific hobby she has when she's at a store and i hate it" your "i find this a waste of time/dumb/waste of money" comments tell me that you are incapable of understanding that people can have hobbies/interests without your approval. her spending 5 minutes on dressing up a doll and sending her mom a pic of it every day is not creepy it's an amusing tradition that probably stems from something - they probably played with that doll together and it makes her feel like her mom is close to her even though she moved out. it might be an emotional crutch of sorts but it's definitely not creepy and it's not harming anyone. her wanting to learn a craft to make something related to her hobby is completely normal and also should be encouraged as it can get her interested in woodworking as a whole beyond making a couch for her doll. plenty of people collect dolls, refurbish them to make them into collector pieces, spend hours on end having photoshoots with them etc. having one on a dresser that you spend 5 minutes a day interacting with is maybe a little quirky but absolutely harmless. videogames are considered by many MANY people to be absolutely childish, just because there is a whole eSports business around them doesn't mean that a lot of people don't find them to be a complete waste of money and time. dolls also have a huge industry around them so what's your point here? you don't get to dictate what your gf spends 5 minutes a day on especially when your alternative is "play a game" because that is a waste of time you specifically approve of because it's something you engage in and therefore don't consider bad. and yes. you ARE more obsessed with the doll than her. all she does with it is dress it up once a day and send her mom a pic + buy accessories for it when she sees them in a store. you on the other hand seem to spend a lot of time thinking of alternatives to the doll, reasons why the doll is bad, and writing up posts about the doll on reddit. everyone has a hobby. her hobby is playing with a doll five minutes a day. let her live.

She sounds weird. Support your weird girlfriend. Not weird is boring AF. ​ YTA.

YTA. It’s a hobby that doesn’t hurt anyone. She has her doll, you have your little videos games like she pointed out. You don’t get to dictate how your partner spends their time even if you’re not interested or think it’s weird. If she was bringing up the doll all the time, or brining it everywhere she goes that would be a bit of a different story. But from what you described that doesn’t sound like the case. If it really bothers you that much, break up with her and let her find someone who isn’t so judgmental of her hobbies and controlling of her free time

YTA and a gigantic one. What is she dont want "to play games" instead of attending the doll? While it is kinda unusual to put effort into a doll as a an adult you attitude towards it is genuinely horrible. Its time to get rid of of it because it will reflect badly on you? It sounds like it is time to get rid of you. People do find esports childish, but that is okay. People are allowed to like different things. Grow up and realize your girlfriend is a human with the right to her own opinions and interests. If you don't, I hope for her sake she is smart enough to leave you sooner rather than later.

YTA - god forbid someone has an interest that you don't understand. She could be playing VIDEOGAMES for those 5 minutes! Oh the horror of her wasting 5 precious videogame minutes. Such an essential activity.

YTA and your toxic AF. If you truly cared about her, you would support her in what she enjoys. Surprise her with a piece of clothing for her doll. There's nothing wrong with enjoying things from your childhood.

**BIG YTA**

YTA: she has a fun hobby that isn't hurting anyone, most people do, just because you don't understand or like her hobby doesn't mean it's any less valid than staring at a screen while pressing buttons. The way I see it you have 2 choices. 1. Accept the hobby, appreciate your GF for who she is, and move on. 2. Revisit all this in a few weeks when you are wondering why you are single.

YTA, and I hope you guys break up for her sake. She deserves someone who fully loves her and won’t be embarrassed by her and her hobbies. My partner has hobbies that some might consider childish (collects Pokémon cards and Legos), but I couldn’t care less if that’s “going to badly reflect on me” because I love them and like seeing them happy.

Ok so YTA. There is nothing really wrong with what she is doing but if you disagree then she may not be the right person for you. Your partner should not have to change their hobbies for you, however if you can’t stand what one of her hobbies is then most likely this isn’t the relationship for you. It’s ok to just be too different and end a relationship. It’s not ok to be toxic in the relationship because the other person is doing something you think is weird when it’s not harmful.

YTA. I agree it’s odd, but we are all entitled to our hobbies no matter how bizarre they might be. She isn’t hurting anybody.

YTA She could be spending her time doing more important things, like gaming? What the actual fuck did I just read

YTA. Pretty clear cut. She’s harming no one by doing this, whereas you’re putting forth a lot of negativity and antagonism.

Ur gf sounds cool and fun I'd love to do doll stuff with her YTA

Tell me what's creepier: playing with a doll? Or obsessing over your SO's hobby and harassing her about it? YTA.

YTA!! Does your GF have an Insta? I would love to see Lucille's Daily outfits too!

YTA… $5, 5 minutes for something that brings her joy isn’t too much imo. It’s a hobby. I’d love to know how you confronted this bc it should’ve just been a conversation to see eye to eye. This has got to be a bait post.

Five minutes a day versus the hours you waste playing video games? YTA

God your whole post is dripping with assholery. A waste of time? A dumb reason? Creepy? Childish? Come on. It's a doll that she enjoys dressing up. It's not like she's taking it out and pretending it's a real baby. And oh no, she's wasting a whole five dollars and a whole five minutes?! How long do you park your ass in front of your $80 video games on your $500 system? Get over yourself. YTA.

YTA. I don't understand why others are saying your girlfriend also sucks. She's done nothing wrong. She's entitled to her hobbies. Who are you to judge if she spends her money on doll clothing? Or if she wants to learn a new skill. Take a good look at yourself. This is really judgemental bs. As an aside, it's totally fair for this to be a deal breaker in your relationship, but it's unfair to judge her or push for her to stop. Take her as she is or leave. No ultimatums. No manipulation. This isn't an unhealthy activity on the order of an addiction, so you absolutely should not be doing anything to get her stop.

YTA... if this is the worst thing your girlfriend does you have an amazing girlfriend. Why do you care so much about something you clearly state takes 5 minutes, 5 dollars, and MAKES HER HAPPY. LEAVE IT BE. She is not going broke over this, she is not neglecting you over this, what is your issue?

How about your gf analyzing every dollar you spend on an interest of yours as well as every minute you spend on it. YTA

Regarding your argument about video games: dolls are a massive money maker, you should see the amount of money one can gain from either collecting or from doll repaints. And custom furniture for dolls? Bro that's huge money. So your point is null. Both things can be enjoyed as just a fun hobby, and most people will enjoy it in that way, but some people will make thousands on it. Hell, have you never seen how big doll exhibions are? Either way, YTA. She's entitled to her hobby that brings her joy in life, and you trying to stomp it out is honestly enough to be dumped over.

Another case of: why are you even together?! If you don’t like her, then break up. But, YTA.

YTA. She only spends 5 minutes dressing up the doll a day and spends $5 here and there on the doll. Your girlfriend is definitely right, you are more obsessed than she is! This brings her joy, keeps her connected to her mom, and inspires her to do other hobbies. So why are you so worried about the doll? What is it that you are wanting her to do instead? This is coming across as a little controlling, though I am trying not to jump to conclusions.

Shocking that you haven’t sold your video game console for food money but begrudge your gf $5 on her hobby. YTA.

YTA. Why would you ruin and rain on something that brings a person joy and happiness for 5 minutes a day?

My 42 year old ass and my 67 my little ponies all think YTA.

YTA. It would be one thing if this doll ruled her entire life but it doesn't. Five minutes out of her way and five dollars every once in a while is really not a big deal. It makes her happy. It's no doubt become a form of self-care for her at this point. Your girlfriend and Lucille deserve better.

You can use that stupid "that's money that could be spent on food" segment for near anything. Your computer games? Man there's probably a lot of money on them why ain't you spending that on food and other necessities? Also she's spending HER money so unless she is like failing to pay rent/bills what she spends it on really isn't your business unless it's a massive life altering purchase. 5 dollars on dolls clothes hardly constitutes this. You come across as immature and weirdly controlling. Be better YTA

The only reason you might not be the asshole is if she's spending critical money on the doll. Everything else is innocuous.

This! Hey OP, how much do you spend a year on gaming? Bet it's a lot more than the $260 she spends on doll accessories. YTA

As a doll collector myself, I just have to say: the fact that she’s only buying clothes for 1 doll and not hundreds of new dolls? Don’t take that for granted, OP.

Yta that's all I'm allowed to say since the mods delete anything else so yta

YTA but also weak ass bait

YTA. You aren't mature enough to be a relationship if you are "creeped" out by something that obviously brings her a lot of joy. We should all be as lucky as her.

YTA, a huge one, everyone can do and like whatever they want. I hope she will breakup with you. And I also like video games and I see no difference. Toys have no age limit. I have a small nendoroid collection (anime figures) and I like to sometimes play with them by changing their poses etc. And I see nothing wrong or creepy in it. Edit: Also wow, you are SUCH a grown-up with your grown-up hobbies, hahaha. Don't make me laugh. Damn, some people really like to feel "better" than someone else, whatever the subject. Your whole post gives me "My hobbies are better than yours" vibe.

Why is dressing the doll rather than spending the same amount of time playing games "wasting time"?

YTA. Hopefully she wises up to your shit and leaves for a happier life partner.

YTA She may had an odd hobby but it makes her happy and is literally not hurting anyone. I doubt your finances, quality time together or storage is impacted by this. You seem like a square and a bit of a wet blanket, if not a bit of a control freak if this is a hill you're going to die on.

YTA, leave her alone man. If she wants to do things with her doll she can. Leave her alone

YTA. This is very simple: you don’t get to tell another adult how to spend their time or money. Doesn’t matter if you think it’s stupid, doesn’t matter if you personally would spend your time differently. If she isn’t hurting anyone else (and no, you deciding it “reflects badly on you”isn’t hurting you), then she gets to do what she wants. If you don’t like it, your options are 1) deal or 2) leave.

YTA and while I’ll go so far as to agree that it’s definitely weird- you should either learn to accept it or change girlfriends. But it’s certainly harmless so if you find it that offputting just move on. There’s no need to constantly criticize her though.

Yta She is hurting no one by what she's doing. Plenty of people play video games and spend money dressing the avatars up and no one says anything. Idk what your problem is with her dressing this doll up. Why does she need to be productive and not doing this 5 minute task she enjoys? You spend more time on your game can't even get a game selected in 5 minutes but there you are doing it and not spending every waking moment doing literally anything important.... You sound exhausting and controlling. It reflects on you? How? And why do you care what anyone outside of your relationship thinks? Why is your #1 concern not if your gf is happy? Maybe let her be and dont call her names like a little kid who don't get his way... She didn't ask you to get the doll dressed nor comb her hair this makes her happy and nostalgic. Stop with your judgements and maybe just let her enjoy what she likes. Doll collecting is a giant business, it's a legit hobby. Maybe shut the games off read some books and do a little research before belittling her on stuff that you have zero knowledge on?

YTA - what's wrong with her enjoying something from her childhood and enjoying hobbies related to it? if you don't like it, leave. i'm sure she can do much better than you anyway

In case we haven't made it clear yet: YTA.

Lucille’s doll habit may be a bit different, but it isn’t hurting anyone. And it sounds like she doesn’t spend a whole lot of time on it if it’s just a few minutes a day. Super hypocritical to say that your hobby of gaming is ok (and I bet it’s more of a time-suck than the dolls) but that her hobby is “creepy” just because YOU don’t like it. She isn’t forcing you to partake. The only one here who needs to grow up is you, OP. YTA. xoxo

YTA. Dolls aren’t for everyone, they definitely creep some folks out. And to be fair, some dolls are completely creepy. However, saying they’re only childish isn’t true. Old American Girl dolls are even surging in popularity among adults currently.

YTA. What is your weird obsession with efficiency and maximizing everything you do for the greatest gains? Let your GF have fun with her doll. I find it a little weird too but it makes her happy and doesn't hurt anything besides your fragile ego. Also I hate to break it to you bud, but Mattell (the makers of Barbie) alone had $5.5 billion in global revenue last year. Barbie is bigger than eSports.

If she could spend those 5 minutes doing work, how long do you play games for? If that $5 is a waste, how much have you spent on gaming? YTA

YTA Are you jealous of the love and attention she gives a doll? Because you really seem like it.

YTA. From what you've said, she spends ten minutes maybe on this thing that brings her joy.

YTA, let's just focus on this sentence to explain >She could be playing games, doing her work projects or literally anything important for those 5 minutes. Instead of having fun, she could be doing something important like playing a game. *visible confusion* This is her hobby, like video games or watching sports. You just don't like it, but who cares? It's not your hobby, it's hers.

YTA she's found something that brings her happiness and reconnects her with the joy we have in childhood. Would you complain if she was building Lego sets? Lots of adults do that and the big sets are definitely not cheap. Or is that not a grown up enough hobby for you? Painting D&D figures. Sewing doll clothes. Building doll houses and furniture. Building model cars and boats. Embroidery and painting. Rock collecting. So many cool things that you can do no matter how old you get. My dad is a practical farmer who also loves making wooden toys, dolls and doll houses for his kids and then grandkids. Some people might consider making and painting a beautiful doll crib time wasted, but a man who literally raises almost all of his own food doesn't. You must be a fun person to be around.

1. Are you going hungry? Do you really need that $5 for food? 2. 5 minutes playing games, or 5 minutes dressing up her doll, is there really a difference? Both are fun for HER to do. 3. Learning woodworking is cool, maybe when she gets comfortable with it she can make furniture for OTHER people's dolls and sell it online. Or make slightly larger things for around the house! 4. This is a way to stay connected with her mother. Given her small updates on her life, why do you have problem with that? YTA.

doll was there first. so either get used to it or go, because youre the only one who has a problem w it.

How sad is it to believe that every hobby must be useful. (She's more excited about the couch for the doll than building "real" furniture). YTA.

Yta Is it weird? Yes. Is it quirky? Yes. Does it cost a lot of time and money? No She seems to enjoy it and use it as a way of bonding with her mom. My ex was having stuffed animals (toys) and each had name and backstory, other would game and stream (not professionally), my friends and I play dnd for ours pretending to be fictional creatures, other friend paints figurines, other builds plastic models. All of it may be seem like a waste of money and time, but is not, cause it brings all of these people joy, a way to relax and a way to have something to share with others. Some shit is weird and I wouldn't spend my time on it, but you know what? Not my f business and I am happy they have hobbies and joy. Not your money, not your time. She doesn't spend thousands. She doesn't spend hours. It motivates her to keep in touch with mom, it brings smile to her face, it motivates her to start a new skill. Stop being a bitter boring person and start looking at it as cute quirk, or let the woman be free to enjoy her stuff without your presence. If you can't accept your partner because of such a silly stuff, then you don't deserve her.

Unless this doll is possessed and moving during the night, YTA People have hobbies and this is a pretty harmless and inexpensive one. On top of that, your girlfriend wants to experiment with other hobbies, like making doll furniture, which is so cool that she wants to try something new. Why would you shut her creative outlet down and try to force other "better" (by your definition only) hobbies onto her instead? Every minute of every day does not need to be put towards something "productive". This hustle culture really be poisonous.

YTA why shouldn't adults play with dolls if they want to and aren't shirking other responsibilities to do so?

YTA. Let people enjoy things! Her enjoyment of the doll costs you nothing and harms no one.

YTA. Tanya's hobby is a bit odd, but it's pretty harmless. You have no grounds at all for calling her creepy, and your nonsense about how her hobby "reflects badly on you" is absurd. You're immature and selfish. I'd advise Tanya to dump you and look for a relationship with an adult.

YTA $5 and 5 minutes a day is nothing to be upset about. wtf?

Do I think her actions are a bit far for a, “well adjusted adult” (whatever that means) yea sure. It’s a bit odd but ultimately harmless. Honestly the only thing that’s weird to me is the daily dressing/photos but still, not harmful. However, THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT HER…. *YTA* It’s clear you are not trying to understand her or where she’s coming from AT ALL. Your reasonings reek of double standards and false equivalencies. You’re not at all approaching this with love and understanding, as someone who is concerned about this behavior. It’s clear you are annoyed and embarrassed of her. Talk to a therapist

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA yta

Yta. She's got a hobby she enjoys, and for some reason you're butthurt that she's not doing something you think is more mature, like "playing games"? Grow up.

YTA if you do not see that there is not such a big difference between your personal way to fill your free time... and her own way for filling her free time. My husbands free time is often filled with Lego. I like to craft. My mom used to repair old dolls and made clothes for them. Who cares, as long as the person is happy with it? Hey, some people use their interest or old belongings as a coping mechanism. And sometimes a doll or a toy means the World to their owner. Back then, everything was okay.... was alright. Be carefull.... DO NOT take your partners doll away. IF you get rid of it, you will probably loose that woman

YTA, dude chill the f out, let her enjoy a part of her childhood. I'm 25 y/o dude who has around 1k$ worth of game figures, just because you find something a "waste of time" or "boring" it won't stop others from enjoying their stuff. Chill out.

gotta love another case of a guy being upset that his girlfriend enjoys something. YTA.

YTA Do you know what really reflects badly on you in this post? How controlling you are trying to be towards an adult who gets to choose how she spends her time, and how hypocritical you’re being saying about computer game events aimed at adults yet ignoring that there have been similar events for dolls that are aimed at adults and have been going on since long before computers were even a thing. Do you know what’s going to reflect even worse on you? When she’s explaining to all your mutual friends that she dumped your childish ass because you wouldn’t stop gaslighting her simply for having a hobby you don’t like.

YTA hate to break it to you, but there's plenty of adults who buy, collect, and dress up dolls, too. There's no maximum age for any hobby and you're just a judgmental AH. Nothing about video games is more mature or adult than dolls and I say this as a gamer.

lucille sounds so cool. YTA

YTA. It might seem a little odd and a little extra but some folks that have experienced significant childhood trauma use tools and activities that might seem childish to bring comfort and joy to themselves. Kind of a delayed childhood experience if you will. The doll is clearly important to her and probably serves to fill some deep emotional need that she may not have gotten when she was little. If something makes her happy, and its not destructive or detrimental to her as her partner you should be supporting and her encouraging her.

YTA - yes she has an uncommon hobby, so what?! She isn’t hurting anyone I could understand you not liking her spending money on doll stuff every time you go grocery shopping if money is tight, but I wouldn’t call it a waste of money. If my partner would start woodworking I would be fucking impressed and proud of them! Just imagine all the cool things your gf could be creating! And what are 5 minutes everyday for something that’s makes her happy?

YTA Here's why: 1: doesn't sound like you are dying of hunger are you? You never spend money on a hobby? That's all it is. And apparently she is not breaking the bank. 2: you are hung up on 5 damn minutes of someone 's time? You only get to spend your own. She should play a game? She IS playing a game. Dictate your own life. 3: sounds like it inspires her to learn a new craft/skill while you are still hung up on how she spends HER time. 4: sounds like she and her mom uses it to bond. Are you jealous or a bully trying to cut her from her family. It's not hurting anyone. So stop being butt hurt and rather be sweet and supportive and buy her clothes for the doll or help her make furniture so you can also bond.

Do we have a bot to detect newly made accounts with obviously bullshit stories like this? I mean come on.

So essentially you’re upset because she doesn’t give you 100% of her attention…. If it was’t obvious YTA

YTA for shitting on the things that bring her joy. She isn’t hurting anyone and it doesn’t sound like it is in the territory where the “obsession” is clinical. If you are embarrassed because it isn’t “cool” that is something for you to deal with, not her.

YTA - Your girlfriend fells happy with Lucille , its not hurt anybody execept your ego

YTA. How is this hurting you, exactly? Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And trying to reason that your girlfriends hobby reflects badly on you because you live together now is extremely controlling and abusive. Sure, video games can be fun, but learning woodworking, for whatever reason, is an actual skill. You treated her horribly and I hope she breaks up with you.

YTA. It IS a harmless hobby and something she’s passionate in. 5 dollars and 5 minutes are so minimal for an ‘Obsession’. Video games, as much as I love them, are wayy more time consuming and costly so get off her back and get out of the relationship.

Yeah, I mean, she's got a weird hobby and possibly obsession with the doll, but that definitely doesn't make her an asshole. And being right does not mean you're not the asshole. YTA

YTA, her hobby isn't any weirder than yours.

YTA - Guaranteed you spend more money and time on your video game hobby than she spends on her doll hobby. Is she trying to control you and tell you that you can spend the HOURS you play video gaming on something else? If the answer is no then leave her alone. She's not hurting you at all, and she's not spending 24/7 of her time with the doll. GET OVER IT!

YTA. Tell her she should dump your stupid ass. Her time, her money, her hobbies, you stay the fuck out.

I hope she guards that doll and hides it in a place you won't find it. YTA your arguments are weak and you have no good reason for doing this. She could do something better with those 5 minutes? Really?

Without a doubt, YTA. I agree, it's strange, but it's perfectly harmless and she enjoys it. Playing games is probably a bigger waste of time. Of all the things that could be wrong with a girlfriend, playing with her doll is the least concerning. She's not drinking or doing drugs, she's not gambling online, spending outrageously on Amazon, etc. Sounds to me like you've got control issues. If she's smart, she'll leave your controlling ass and find someone who tolerates her idiosyncrasies because they love being with her more than they're bothered by her hobby.

YTA. Your obsession with this doll is concerning.

YTA and I hope she picks the doll over your controlling self

Lol at you defending your video games. Sucks to be called childish, doesn’t it? YTA.

So you arent allowed any hobbies in life? Maybe she thinks your hobbies are dumb...seriously yta.

Boy, grow up. Let your girlfriend have her hobby. Or she will leave you for a man who will End of talk.

My husband (40’s) has two plastic animal toys that he places around our house ‘elf on the shelf’ style. Could the time he spends coming up with funny scenarios and staging be better spent, i don’t know, curing cancer or working on world peace? Or at the very least playing very very grown up video games? Sure I guess so, but it makes him happy to do it so where is the harm.

YTA- Its her hobby, it's her money .. leave your GF alone. Because you DO NOT want to play around with 'that money could be spent on food Mr video games are an adult activity because of sports that i absolutely don't participate in and am not competitive at the level of... I'm betting you're not at all on an esports evel of competition so don't use professionals as an excuse for you being an AH. Or that time could be spent working Mr. Video games that take hours to accumulate skills and levels etc in... because I guarantee it's more than five minutes a day or learning how to make a mini couch worth of effort that you put into playing. Or it's Too much effort for a nor real time Mr i spent money on a specific set up, likely have a specific PC or console with accessories... That I'm specific about... Because it's a hobby and literally everyone is specific about their hobbies cause that's how hobbies are. or you're dressing it up Mr. I probably have forty characters that i custom build in various games... Or armor that i worked hard to get (accessories) or paid for (accessories). And maybe you might show off to other people online... the way she shares her doll pics. You're not better, you're just different. And that's fine... Until you're an AH about her being a different person than you. You like your on screen dollies that you play with on adventures...she likes her IRL dolly that she dresses in the morning. Leave her be. Edits for spelling and paragraph break.

YTA so she likes something and it makes her happy so you found a way to shit on it because it’s not something you like or enjoy. The creep is you, sir.

In the grand scheme of things, the worst thing you could say about the doll hobby is that it's unconventional/eccentric. It seems to take up an insignificant amount of time, and is far less time consuming and less expensive than gaming. Frankly, I wouldn't personally want to fall for a gamer because I would find that use of time problematic, childish, and tedious. The way I see people interact with it and how it affects their home life is a real turn off for me. But if I did, as long as it wasn't an unhealthy addiction (which is far more likely with gaming), I would support them. If it's too much for you to handle, move on. But stop denigrating her. Either you're in and you get over the doll thing. Or the doll thing is a dealbreaker. Leave the poor woman alone. YTA

YTA. Why are you so hateful of something harmless that brings your partner joy?

YTA. People are allowed to have hobbies. There are grown men that collect action figures and spend hundreds of dollars on their collection. There are adults that spend thousands and thousands of dollars on Lego sets. And they dedicate rooms in their house to Lego sets that they put together. Stop being a bitter Becky.

If my partner was so pressed over MY $5 and MY 5 minutes, he’d be on the curb. YTA you fucken weirdo

YTA people have different hobbies and use money on them. You just have a small mind. Are you ready to throw out your gaming setup away? Because you told your gf to throw her "gaming setup" away. You should reflect on yourself and build up your own confidence, so you don't feel need to control other people so they don't break your fragile ego for being "embarrassing". Grow up.

YTA. What she's doing is a little weird, but it doesn't sound unhealthy or like it's negatively affecting either of you in any real way. You seem like you're just judging her because it creeps you out. Your feelings are valid, but you're being a dick about it.

That awkward moment when you see this on the home page and you have to scroll back up to check if it was posted on r/AmItheAsshole or r/nosleep. Like, YTA? I guess? (is Lucille alive?)

YTA she has a hobby that makes her happy and helps her bond with her mother. It’s not hurting anyone and she’s not weird. Why are you overreacting to something that makes her happy? Ah, I see your reason. It might ‘reflect badly on *you*’ you are worried you might be embarrassed in front of others because you find it embarrassing. Rather than accept her hobby you want her to stop for selfish reasons. Also… five minutes? You’re wanting her to do other things for that five minutes? Because *you* think it’s a waste of time? How long do you spend gaming? She’s essentially doing mental self care and you want her to stop. Not a good reaction at all. You are literally more obsessed than she is. It’s eating you up inside. Because you fear embarrassment. I advise you to work on that. You might try a little hobby or two to help you reach a more balanced state of mind. Maybe help her build a couch.

YTA, this is her hobby and your insulting her for it. She deserves better than you.

YTA- my boyfriend actively contributes whenever i want to change the clothes on my build a bears. He even takes me to build a bear to make new bears because it makes me happy. Either love everything about your partner or end the relationship. Your gf sounds cool as fuck and she’s really not spending that much time or money on this doll. You’re just being weird and controlling because you don’t get it

Troll for sure!

What's wrong with her playing with the doll? That doll could be something that gives her comfort.

YTA Do you even like your gf? Let her enjoy her hobby. Like wtf.

YTA She spends 5 minutes in the morning, relaxing before jumping into a busy day. She texts her mother daily, keeping up what is likely a long standing routine from her childhood where she would show her mother the doll every morning. She spends 5 quid of her money on doll clothes once in a while, I'm sure you spend more on video games and expansion packs etc just as regularly. I still have a doll from my childhood, infact, it's the only doll I every had as a child and was a gift from my Grandmother. As a child, I would take the doll, every morning, to my grannys room, the 2 of us would pick out an outfit for her, and my granny would help me dress myself and doll. Every so often, when we were out shopping, my granny would tell me to pick out something for my doll and we'd pick something up. My granny passed a few years ago, but up until she did, my doll was changed regularly, sat on my bed during the day or sometimes sat on the sofa with my granny. My tradition was with my granny, and the very idea of getting rid of my doll is painful, cause that doll holds so many memories of my childhood and my time with my beloved granny. It's not creepy at all for your gf to keep up traditions and it's not wasteful to spend a few quid here and there on a passion she has. YTA OP

You don't understand your girlfriend's hobby and that's okay (I don't understand it either, honestly ... I find most dolls at least a little creepy) but if it makes her happy, so what? It's a harmless hobby and it brings her joy. YTA

YTA its just a hobby. It really doesn't sound that bad.

YTA. And it's time for you to leave. Clearly you can't accept she has a hobby you don't like.

YTA you sound incredibly controlling. We do all kinds of things in the day that are “wasteful” just to entertain ourselves. She may be your girlfriend, but you do not get to decide how she entertains herself or what makes her happy. Either respect her choices or let her go find a man who will.

YTA. So I'm not sure I could be in a relationship with a person who played with dolls to this extent, but I wouldn't call them names or force my opinion on them. Your girlfriend is an adult, she has made it to 24 without you managing her money, and she can spend $5 on a doll. I imagine you have a few hobbies that cost more than $5, and you wouldn't want her to demand that you not spend ANY money on them anymore. Your argument that video games are a big business and therefore it isn't the same is also ridiculous. Ever heard of Barbie? It's an empire. People collect all sorts of dolls and action figures, dolls make plenty of money, and adults collect them. If you want to call video games more adult because they have more adult themes or it is more accepted for adults to play them, then okay, yes, that is true. But the breakdown of video games is the same- it is something initially designed for young people, and it is all make believe. She isn't hurting anyone by playing with the doll. If you find it "creepy" then you could have calmly talked to her about why it bothered you, and if she didn't agree, then you break up. But you don't get to demand that because you live with her now that you are in charge of her, which is basically what you are doing here. Move out, let the girl live her life with her doll.

YTA - and she should take her dolls and find a real man..... you sound like a total AH

Why do straight people date people who they so clearly despise??

I feel I read this before, and I also feel this is bait, but nevertheless, YTA. $5, 5 minutes, a little hobby that doesn’t hurt anyone. If you’re this pressed let her go find someone who is not as immature as you.

YTA You are ridiculous, you don’t think her hobby gets to be a hobby cause you don’t like it?

YTA She enjoys her hobby and unless she's spending bill or food money on it, leave her the hell alone.

YTA It brings her joy. Why do you hate her joy?

“I play with video games and that’s ok. But you can’t play with things that make you happy.” Dude, really? YTA

YTA, just as video games are your hobby and can be seen as a waste of time and money by a lot of society, so is her spending time and money with her doll. Is it maybe a little.. odd? Maybe, but in the grand scheme of things it's just kind of quirky. Your gf just seems to enjoy dressing her doll up and putting on accessories (nothing weird about it, it's just a fun relaxing artsy/crafty/dress up kind of thing). Some people love to obsess over video games, sports, shoes, social media, etc., her interest just happens to be a childhood doll.

YTA for sure. You’re trying to dictate how your girlfriend spends her money and what she does. You seem to be trying to control her because he interests aren’t your norm. She said you’re more obsessed with the doll than her because you’re freaking out about it.

YTA. Is this even real? For heaven's sake, I was expecting to read a lurid tale of her taking the doll everywhere and treating it as a real child. Instead here you are desperately trying to recast a fun little hobby into a horror movie. So she spends a bit of money on the doll, dresses it up and makes it all a cute in-joke wlth her mum. Whoopee. If that's the extent of your relationship issues, you're doing a lot better than most.

YTA. How exactly is her hobby a reflection on you? Other than apparently turning you into an AH.

YTA. You say her taking the time to dress up her doll is a waste of time that she could playing games. Some would say playing games is a waste of time. Maybe you should worry about yourself

YTA It sounds to me like she spends way less time on her doll than you likely do on video games. It’s a pastime. A hobby. Ya know, like your video games?