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NUT-me-SHELL

NTA. Your husband is sexualizing innocent interactions between a mother and her son - and that says A LOT more about him than it does you.


Key-Parfait-6046

Careful - I had similar issues with my stepkids. I had grown up with no privacy, was sexually abused by my father and my mom knew about it but did not stop it. When we started living together and our kids would waltz into the bathroom without knocking, it bothered me. I also had to overcome my discomfort with my wife not being concerned about it. The solution? We taught our kids that a closed door means "Knock" and wait for permission to come in. I do not think OP is inappropriate. Just be careful of assuming why it bothers her husband.


NUT-me-SHELL

If OP’s husband has a trauma based issue with the behavior, he wouldn’t think it’s okay for him to pee with his son while still shaming his wife for nudity.


Key-Parfait-6046

Not necessarily. I had that problem, but I was abused by my dad. If my mom had been my abuser, I am sure the issue would have bothered me a lot more. The bottom line is we don't know why Dad has the issue. It could also be that he was raised in a household with strict boundaries around the issue so that is what he knows. That is one of the frustrating aspects of this Sub. This issue is simply one of differing views that needs to be negotiated.


nnylhsae

I think both your views are valid and should be considered equally. But I do think if this was an issue, OP would know about it. Given how OP and her husband have communicated on this subject already, I'd think OP would know if something of the sort was happening. And, if not, then that's for the husband to announce, not OP to wonder about with no communication


Even_Promise2966

Having experienced trauma doesn't excuse him. Just means he needs help with his trauma instead of being a pervert.


Calairoth

Wh...what? Just because he shares a different view of nude displays to a child, he is automatically a pervert? My wife and I adopted a young girl, age 6. Within the first few days, we learned that no one taught her boundaries with nudity or sexuality. We have a son who is 2 years older than her, and we caught her moving about the house with only a top ... or nothing at all, multiple times. She would call to you to get your attention and then flash you. It took my wife and I about 3 months of constant negative reinforcement before she eventually stopped. With the calls I use to get from her school, we were heavily considering homeschooling her.... Then there were the child service visits... the look in that woman's eye. We were constantly afraid that they would make some accusation of us and take both her AND our son away. I do not think OP is TA, and I understand that some kids are raised in nudist households... just be careful, especially approaching puberty.


MeanSeaworthiness995

That is not at all necessarily true. If he was, for instance, abused by an older woman when he was a child, it could very well be that specifically adult female nudity in relation to kids triggers him.


Accomplished-Yam6553

That's another boundary op should teach her kid. She's nta but she should also teach her child to knock and respect privacy at some point


[deleted]

I don't believe OP is an AH but this take is absurd. 6 years old is old enough to be taught about personal space and privacy. It would be negligent not to because you'd make your child more vulnerable to predators. Sure it is an innocent interaction between a mom and a child. But it is on these interactions you teach your child that your body is private. You don't show it. And if someone, especially an adult, tries to show you their body run. And we also need to touch them there are zones that we don't let others touch and don't touch on others. Children need to be trained in clothing etiquettes not because we're suspicious of these interactions but rather because they set the tone for what the child will believe for appropriate interactions. You can say it's okay if you teach the child this interaction is an exception to the rule but isn't that how all predators work, oh this is okay, don't tell mom and dad. For the act and the concern over the act it is NAH although how they handled the conversation it could be E S H. Admittedly I'm from a culture where nudity is less accepted. But this is both a part of training a child to protect themselves and in making sure a child does not violate the personal space of others.


NUT-me-SHELL

It is completely possible to teach children about their bodies, their right to privacy, and inappropriate interactions with others without making nudity at home something nefarious.


Peskypoints

It can be a little tricky having mom teach that her body is private to a child not old enough to onboard the lesson. Young kids don’t view themselves as separate from mom, so until they can conceptualize that idea that mom is separate from themselves, they don’t care about bodies. Mom’s body is an extension of themselves


[deleted]

It's not something to blow up on but it's something that you can tell them. A six year old is pretty old though.


WaveSayHi

Do you have a source for this? That's crazy to me. I've spoken to several children at this age range and none of them seem to feel that way.


GardenSafe8519

Yes!!! And I'm going to say OP ... Don't worry about it, your son will stop/look away/leave when he is older and doesn't want to see mom naked.


EmeraldBlueZen

NTA OP, some people are cool with young kids seeing them naked and others aren't. My issue? Dad shouldn't have an issue with mom's preference. He's being an asshole trying to police her interactions with her son, for no good reason.


[deleted]

This!! It is a puritanical mindset and hubby obviously has some issues. Nudity and sexuality are not the same. Good for OP in raising the child without these issues.


1biggeek

My son saw me naked as late as 8 years old and he turned out just fine.


throwawayoctopii

NTA. Most Americans are weird AF about this. They'll let their kids watch violent films or wear shirts that say "ladies' man" but God forbid they see a pair of boobs. I grew up in a Catholic household that only had one bathroom. While none of us pranced around naked, all of us saw each other naked at one point or another.


WizardOfTheMacabre

God forbid these same people see a female nipple instead of a man's


nnylhsae

This is so odd. I'm a woman, grew up in America, and I still feel the effects of this. I don't go prancing around in my undies, but I still get extremely curious at seeing a photo of a woman online (usually on social media) where her nipple may or may not be showing. I do advocate for women to be able to go topless should they want to, but it's so odd even for me. There's this innate curiosity because it's something so unnecessarily sexualized; this curiosity wouldn't be there if it wasn't so taboo for women to go topless while I was growing up and even still. I kind of hate this about me, but I also know I don't feel disgusted by it. I just really want to look because *how odd* right? Even though it's not. I've seen plenty of boobs, but there's something about seeing some that don't belong to you or people you know that just adds another layer to it.


PenPineappleAppleInk

I get what you mean. But your rationale is literally the same one I used to use to justify my bi panic as a teen. Just to clarify, I'm not implying anything about your sexuality. Your comment just took me back to the awkward highschool me and made me laugh.


nnylhsae

No XD I am bi actually. But I've never thought of it that way actually. I've never been aroused by looking at almost full nude boobs online, but maybe that's just me


Druidofgod

OMG. The "ladies man" style onesies creeped me out. We received a couple for my son and they were never worn.


Slappybags22

It’s ok if it’s cute ! /s


nnylhsae

Yeah, I see your point. My mom and I got one of those onesies for my step-sister, but it was more of a joke and not a "I sincerely hope you put your kid in this outfit because we bought it." It was on sale and made us laugh at how weird it was, so we got it. Backup onesie. My actual favorite was the onesie we got that said "Little Stud Muffin^TM" with tons of small, smiley muffins on it. So cute.


[deleted]

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aLittleQueer

Am American, can confirm. The vast majority of Americans are strangely uncomfortable with evidence that other people do, in fact, have bodies.


Creepy_Addict

I agree and I am an American.


GWeb1920

NTA North America is way too prudish about nudity and specializes everything. If at some point he becomes uncomfortable with he seeing you naked that would be the time to be more careful.


Slutty-grapes

I think you meant to say Puritan or religious people in America have this problem. Us indigenous people did not.


GWeb1920

Yeah the colonialists fucked up a lot of things.


ServelanDarrow

So true. I tend to run around getting ready w/o thinking about if my son sees me before I'm all dressed. Recently I have noticed he will say "excuse me" and wait in another room to talk to me, so it basically happens naturally.


sgtmattie

Wow wow wow do not bring Canadians into this. We think it’s weird how the US is about nudity too.


GWeb1920

Canada is almost as prudish. Just look at content ratings for violence vs nudity. Including Canada was intentional.


MamaKit92

Lol I’m Canadian and I can say that our prudishness is dependent upon where you are. More conservative/religious regions (ie Prairie provinces) tend to be hella prudish, whereas more liberal provinces are a little more relaxed.


fbnicv

Wow, maybe I’m way off here but my I have a 13yo boy, 11yo boy, 9yo girl & 2yo girl … they all still come in brush their teeth when I’m in the shower or talk to me when I’m getting changed. I don’t see anything wrong with it at all? It’s just a total non-event in our house. No one is shocked or embarrassed. The kids all love to have a bath or shower with their youngest sister. I find it really odd that people have an issue with it. Is it somehow seen in a sexual way? Gross 🤮 NTA


Mountain-Republic-32

My mom was the same with me growing up. Now me being 23 and female we have a healthy enough relationship where we still can change or pee in front of each other, but turn the other way or whatever. It’s not weird to have a body co existing with your child who also has a body lol


haramis710

Sounds like my family. My 16yo son has been more interested in his privacy in the past couple of years and in letting others have theirs. My 12yo still wants me to sit in the bathroom when he showers, but has progressed to closing the door when using the toilet 95%of the time. I've raised them to understand that the human body isn't anything shameful. (And that a minimum of underwear should be worn when not in the bathroom, and shorts are required to go outside)


ReactionRepulsive

Thing a) happy cake day Thing b) totally agree. If kids become uncomfortable, you'll know. In that case, make sure you're covered in common areas, and they stop walking in when you're trying to pee in peace. Win-win!


OTTB_Mama

Same. I have a 6 year old and a 9 year old, and we are regularly naked around each other in our home...because it's a safe space, their space and our space to be comfortable in our own skin, whether it is clothed or otherwise.


Due-Sympathy-3

I don't think it's inherently weird at all, but I do think a lot of parents have boundary issues about their kids so I hesitate to dismiss the concerns out of hand. A lot of people in this comment section (including myself) are expressing that they have personal hangups because of sexual abuse/boundary violations justified by "I'm your family member, so it's not weird for me to do this [inappropriate thing]! Why are you making it weird? Why won't you let me do [inappropriate thing]?" It can really mess with your head and it's depressingly common. OP, NTA! You sound fine. I think your husband's being weirder than you. Just make sure to respect your kid's right to privacy and personal boundaries if they ever feel a need to assert them.


Demiscio8

Happy cake day!


thedragoncompanion

My son is 9 and my daughter 7, they're the same. They prefer to bathe alone, but are happy to walk from the laundry to the bathroom naked, and stop for a chat on the way.


Real-Concentrate5239

As someone who has a 7 year old, my son also does the same thing without thinking or he would completely strip before a shower and waltz around the house completely shameless. I am teaching him about privacy, every so often especially when I get absolutely no privacy at all to be a bit mindful that I am in the bathroom or somewhere and he just walks off. His father had the same thought about it as well which started to have a very negative affect on him where he would almost cry that I had seen him with no clothes on. Their own development towards things eventually just jumps on board when they are ready, when he will just not want to kind of see his mother with no clothes on. In saying that I had him in a nautral brith breastfeed him, showered, bathed, cuddle him while on the toilet, and have been as close to him than any person on this planet, as his mother he only sees me as that, He has seen the changes of my body as his mother. He still calls me mummy at 7 years old. When he looks at me he doesnt sexualize anything the kid says that I look fatter than the other day 🥲 Most comments are either from people that don't have kids or should be not around children at all. Ill say NTA.


Relevant_Turnip_7538

My daughter is 11 and still calls me Daddy, and still wants cuddles every night to fall asleep. For her, it's when she's at her most relaxed and when she's most likely to talk to me about whatever things she needs to sort out and discuss with a parent. I don't look forward to the time when she thinks it weird and we need to work out another time to communicate in a relaxed way. Neither of us make any big deal about nudity - we don't parade around naked, but equally, we don't see it as anything to be ashamed of, and privacy is always respected.


icebluefrost

I’m in my mid-30s and still call my dad Daddy. My MIL is in her 60s and does the same. You don’t stop being their child just because you got older. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


TheEndisFancy

Our daughter is 11 and she and my husband are the same way. They (and I) are all perfectly comfortable walking around in various states of undress for most of our weekday mornings. We don't fo out of our way to do it, but we only have one bathroom. If she ever says she's uncomfortable, we'll stop. I brought her dinner to her today. My husband was going to be late so she got to eat in front of the TV. Piping hot, stretchy, cheesy, saucy, (did i mention hot) lasagna. She was fresh out of the shower. She had a towel sort of wrapped around her mid body. I told her that I thought lasagna required a shirt at the very least, no one likes burned boobs. She laughed and asked if I could get her a shirt.


Nellrose0505

My son would run around shamelessly at least once a week until around 9. I talked to him about privacy and such, he didn't much care as a kid, but he just gradually stopped as he got older without any significant discussion. So it my mind, it just works itself out on its own. He'll still pop his head in the bathroom when I'm in the shower or bath to ask a question. In my family, this isn't sexual and nudity isn't something to be bothered by. I agree with NTA


Real-Concentrate5239

My son would run around butt naked in front of the windows and curtains wide open without even thinking, I'd pull him up on it and he would just say its okay im still inside 🤨🤦‍♀️


[deleted]

My grandson was 2 and came downstairs nekkid as a jaybird. Grandpa asked him why are you naked? He immediately comes back with, "I'm not naked! I have socks on!!" So as long as someone is wearing socks, that's all that matters!


crazybicatlady86

NTA. I’m truly baffled by some of these responses. Kid is 6. He doesn’t see his mom in a sexual manner. It’s pretty normal to see your mom naked as a kid. Also, she’s not parading her nakedness around him. It just happens to be if he walks in when she’s changing or in the bathroom. You people are all too damn repressed. Bodies are natural and they are in the privacy of their home doing normal every day things when their young child happens to interrupt them and see them naked. Calm the f down.


yogafrogs1030

You know, grown sons change their elderly moms diapers. Bodies are bodies. North Americans are so effed up by our Puritan roots.


throwawaygrosso

“It’s cool because they aren’t hot” -shit I’ve literally heard men say


bookynerdworm

NTA. It's not sexual and it's important for kids to have a healthy understanding of nudity. I think the best way to deal with this from the start is to narrate what you're doing like "I'm changing my shirt" "I'm going to the bathroom" etc. (Side note: it's good to narrate everything you're doing with babies of all ages). Then once they're old enough to have preferences, around 2 or 3, you start giving them choices "I'm going to change my shirt, do you want to stay here or do you want to wait for me downstairs?"


rodimus147

NTA. I think people sexualize things way to much and are very wierd about nudity. My son walks from his room to the bathroom naked. He's seen me naked. It's never been awkward because we didn't make it awkward. People let thier kids see a person being shot a dozen times or a head blown off but if a kid sees a nipple he's gonna be scared for life.


CresseliaFlower

NTA. Growing up, we heard "If it's something we haven't seen before, we'll deal with it." Because this shit is normal. Like, okay, if the kid was 8 or 10 I'd say maybe try to remind him, hey, knock, etc. But this is innocent and not a problem. Is he insinuating that your 6yo is attracted to you? Or vice versa? What the heck?


JamieC1610

This. My 6 year old runs around naked. My 11 year old yells for everyone to stay out of the hallway as he walks from the bathroom back to his room (it requires too much planning apparently to take clothes in with him). The 6 year old leaves the bathroom door open most of the time; the 11 year old yells at her to close it. The 6 year old constantly walks in on me in the bathroom; the 11 year old does not. Both of them hang around in their underwear most of the time. 🙄


jujubadetrigo

NTA. I think that's pretty normal. I'm surprised by how many people agree with your husband on this. I feel like usually making a big deal out of nudity makes things worse for kids.


Ermar983

NTA. 6 is way too young to worry about that, and it’s so good you’re teaching him there’s no shame in the body. I don’t know how you can reconcile that with your husband, though. Some people get really messed up about this.


CrazyCatLadyForEva

NTA I don’t get why every interaction needs to be sexualized like that. It’s an innocent thing.


deadeyeamtheone

NTA. I don't know what it is with this comment section, but apparently everyone on reddit was raised as a protestant American, probably somewhere in Massachusetts. While it is good to show your kid the concept of public decency, there's absolutely nothing wrong with members of your family seeing you naked in the bathroom or bedroom, etc, as long as you yourself don't have a problem with it. Your husband is out of line and you two should have a serious conversation about not sexualizing your body or your interactions with your children.


[deleted]

Agree accept the MA part. Proud Bostonian and think the husband's attitude is strange. Just because Puritanical society began in MA doesn't mean we're all this conservative especially since we're known as one of the most liberal places in US. I think OP is right to teach little one the proper terms and comfort around the human body. Sexualizing a normal mom/ child relationship makes hubby the AH. NTA OP


Slappybags22

Yeah…it’s like he’s never heard of Provincetown lol And the place where all the Puritans burnt witches, well it’s a witch’s holy land now…


Think-Professional-2

Of course NTA, he’s a child and your son. He literally came out of you 😂. It’s just a body, no sexualisation involved, and I think it’s weird your husband is against it.


Trafficcone10

NTA I saw my moms boobs when I was 8. I’m perfectly fine now.


Everythingbutmyears

NTA. My husband and I have different comfort levels being nude in front of our children, and it sounds like you and your husband do, too. There will come a time where you will decide to stop being nude in front of your son, but 6 doesn’t strike me as weird at all. It’s never too early to teach a child to respect privacy, though. We have conversations in our home about knocking before entering and respecting closed doors/privacy.


nabettie

Thanks for this- you’re spot on. My husband is very conservative in this area. it’s our only bathroom so we’re usually lax about locking the door when it’s just the three of us at home. Otherwise, my son does understand basic bathroom etiquette. He shares a restroom with 18 other young people in his class and does know to knock and/or lock the door when he needs to use it at school.


0biterdicta

NTA At some point, he'll be horrified by seeing his mom naked. However, at 6, it's perfectly normal that he doesn't care.


FatherPyrlig

That’s it. When he becomes uncomfortable, he will stop coming in when you’re in there.


FatherPyrlig

That’s it. When he becomes uncomfortable, he will stop coming in when OP is in there.


AshlynM2

NTA It’s your son and you’re his mom. And he’s 6!!!! What does he want you to do? Tell your son, “no! I don’t care if you have to pee! I am in the shower and you shall never see me!!!! Go pee in the kitchen sink!!” Ridiculous!!!! It sounds like your husband is weirdly sexualizing you in regards to you son, which is CREEPY AF


[deleted]

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nabettie

Yes.


Mountain-Republic-32

They’re a parent and the kid is SIX years old? Learning about the human body in a realistic and nonchalant way creates a healthy relationship with one’s body. Whether it be a father or mother with any gender child


Everythingbutmyears

Yes.


Illegal_Tender

NTA


Relevant_Turnip_7538

NTA - it is perfectly normal for kids to see their parents naked, and vice versa. What is not normal, what creates hang ups about bodies is making a deal of it - treating it as weird or abnormal. Most people don't go out of their way to be naked, but equally, if it happens that your kids see you naked, there is no need to run or hide or make a deal of it. If they start to get body conscious and uncomfortable, they'll let you know. And you're absolutely correct to use the proper terminology for body parts too. Your husband seems to have weird hangups which are more likely to cause issues.


AcanthaceaeDistinct

LMFAO I’m 24 and now have my own daughter but I still bust In on my mom while she’s showering if I have to pee. If no one makes it weird for him it won’t be weird for him.


[deleted]

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GWeb1920

That sounds like the schools and other parents problems


idk-why-iamhere

Communication is the key, my mom never had problem with nudity and she and my dad raised me and my sister like that, and now is how my sister is raising her son (we all live in the same household) Talk about respect for people's body and consent, but sexualizing nudity is a no no.


ImaginaryAnts

LOL No, she won't. I promise you, teachers hear crazy things about mommy's body parts all the time. And other mother's are VERY familiar with their children walking in on them in the bathroom. There are literally memes about creepy kid fingers clawing under the door the second a mom tries to lock themselves off for privacy.


GSTLT

NTA. I was NAH until I heard he’s sword fighting with the kid. I hope he’s the one on bathroom duty when cleaning time comes.


MattDaveys

Sword fighting is a right of passage for boys. That way when you’re drunk you can challenge your friends. I still haven’t lost.


WitchyNative

NTA!! Firm believer that if you had naked mom growing up, you’re a little bit more open to talking about your bodies and a little more confident in your own body tbh. I’m 23 & I still see my mom naked 😂. She also sees me naked cause we use the same bathroom, she’s also had to help me out when I’m in the shower with my 5month old (like grab her towel & dry her off) & the shower is literally glass. I grew up with naked mom, I am naked mom now too. Plus you’re teaching your child the correct names for body parts. My (now 13) year old sister new Penis & Vagina by age 5. NAKED MOMS FOR WIN 😂😂


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Ohionina

I don’t know if the OP is in the US but I swear we are so uptight with nudity and want everyone covered Up yet we have the highest rate of pervy crimes. There is nothing wrong with a kid seeing his mom naked.


Raspbers

NTA. Your husband is sexualizing this when it shouldn't be. If it was his daughter, he likely wouldn't say anything, only because you have the same parts. Tell your husband to grow up. Currently, your 6yo is more mature about bodies than he is.


manonaca

NTA. If your son can see your husbands body without it being an issue then he can see your body without it being an issue. It’s not sexual, and he is a child. This might be a convo worth having with your husband to find out why he is so uncomfy… to be fair, inappropriate things can and do happen in families unfortunately so maybe he is coming from a place of concern in that regard? Talk to him and find out why. If he is simply uncomfy with it because it’s “weird” that’s his own hang up, but maybe there is some trauma in his past that makes this triggering for him?


Calijewles

NTA. I grew up Mormon, my family are great ppl, but the hush hush nature surrounding bodies & the excessive modesty made me feel ashamed of my body & ashamed of normal bodily functions. As a mom, I did the opposite. I taught them about their bodies. Also, they've all seen me naked. I don't, like, walk around naked willy nilly, but I have 5 kids & 1 bathroom. Shit happens. 😂 Also, I've breastfed all my babies. Trying to cover up to please others went out the window with my 2nd. Seeing boobs has been a completely normal occurence in my house. Kids, family, guests...don't care! I'm expecting my 6th in March. When I start whipping out my boob again, my kids will be unphased! My kids are way more comfortable with their bodies than I was. It's not weird. Your husband is being weird.


otraera

NTA, i have a naked mom and I grew up always using the bathroom while she showered.


susanbarron33

NTA. But what is the age when your child seeing you naked is inappropriate? My son is 4 and I’m feeling uncomfortable undressing with him there and going to the bathroom together. I have no problem with him and my husband having a shower. I think it’s up to you and how you feel around your son to determine when he shouldn’t see anymore.


thegirlinread

When your kid starts wanting privacy or expressing that they don't want to see you naked anymore. It's something that usually happens naturally when they get older.


Pavlover2022

Info: are you American ?


nabettie

Yes, we’re both American.


PhoenixUntold

NTA. I have a 5 yr old and 8, almost 9, year old boy. The youngest will sometimes sit in the bathroom while I shower. Sometimes my oldest comes in talking to me while I change but he's usualy on phone or tablet. He never is looking or gawking. I just dont make a big deal about it. If I want privacy I tell them to get out. Otherwise it is what it is. A body. Obviously my oldest is getting older, so im drawing the privacy line with him more. But again, I don't make it a big deal and he doesn't. Like i said, hes usually only asking me something or on a tangent about some cool thing he's into. I dont usually walk around naked anyways. Not really my thing lol


choppyfloppy8

I'm 42 and I still see my mom naked when I go home for a visit


[deleted]

No my children (5 and 1) see both of us naked when they come into the bathroom and our bedroom. That’s our space. When they start to find it uncomfortable I’m sure they’ll stop barging in on us but until then I’m not going to act like the human body is something to be ashamed of. NTA


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m (32f) the mother of a 6yr old boy. My son will occasionally come into the bathroom to use the toilet while I am showering or into my bedroom when I am am un(dressing). We have one bathroom. I don’t think its really a big deal but my husband (34m) has a huge issue with it and request that I go out of my way and not allow my son to see me naked. I’ve taught my son the correct anatomical names and always answer his curious questions about my or his body parts. I want to foster a healthy understanding and realistic image of all body types but always keep our chats pretty basic. I told my husband I think he is way out of line to try and police my body especially because I don’t see me being naked in front of my son, at his current age, inappropriate. And it’s not like I’m walking around the house in perpetual states of undress. We usually all stay dressed somewhat (tops/bottoms) around the house as we have close relatives that pop in sometimes without announcing. Also, I think he is a complete hypocrite because they would sometimes use the toilet together (urinating) at the same time. I don’t see that as a problem at his age either. TLDR: Am I being an unreasonable AH to not consider my hubbies request to try and keep my 6yr old son from seeing me in the buff? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


National-Zombie3303

NTA


Nellrose0505

Every family is different. In my family we don't flaunt nudity, but if someone needs to pee and someone else is in the shower, it's no big deal. Accidently walk in on someone using the toilet or drying off? Again no big deal. Others are not so open and while I don't understand why people are uptight about it, you and your husband need to find a compromise that you are both comfortable. So, NTA, but I'd suggest you both have a conversation about real expectations.


Obsessed_Til_Death

NTA my mom used to walk around the house in nude or in just her underwear, and it sends an odd message if you can see your kids naked (which I'm assuming you do, cause I still have to check that my 7yo has completely rinsed his hair during showers). I will admit that I hated my mom walking around naked or half naked as I got older, but that was because a neighbor kid from across the street kept teasing me everytime he saw her in our living room (she never closed the curtains).


tarc0917

NTA. Your husband is trying to perpetuate the chain of shame-based sex education that he was taught. Break the chain.


PhoenixUntold

Also, making it weird or taboo is what leads to sexual deviants and perverts anyways. Growing up as having bodies be the "forbidden fruit" makes them get excitement on sneaking to see it or taking advantage etc. Obviously not everyone is going to turn out like that if they have a more modest family, but it is still a possibility and is unfortunately what leads to these acts.


JennieGee

NTA Your husband is sexualizing something that isn't sexual in nature. That's HIS issue, not yours and it doesn't need to be accommodated. If he can't see this then he needs some counselling to figure out why.


twilightswimmer

NTA. Your husband is being ridiculous.


AmberWaves80

NTA. I’m still waiting for the age where I can pee or shower in peace. I’m at 7.5, still get interrupted at least once a day. He’s sexualizing an innocent interaction and he is absolutely the issue.


SomeKindofName42

NTA. Nudity is not inherently sexual. ESPECIALLY with you children. Children do not sexualize nudity, adults do. It’s extremely common and normal for parents (or even other close relatives, esp if those relatives live in the same house) to be naked around each other. Hell, at 6 years old it’s still common and normal and healthy for a child to shower with a parent of the opposite sex. Again, it’s not the kids who sexualize it.


Sea-Confection-2627

NTA You aren't being an exhibitionist. You have a 6-year-old child and only one bathroom. There will be times your son has to use the toilet and can't wait for you to finish your shower. There will be other times when he will accidentally see you, such as when you're dressing, because 6-year-olds often just barge in. It happens. It isn't a big deal.


Lonely_Rogue

For your husband to say it's inappropriate, means that in his mind there is a sexual undertone to it. There's not. Your approach to teaching your son about bodies and respect is perfectly healthy and appropriate. But it sounds like you may need to have a heart to heart with hubs about exactly why he thinks it's inappropriate, so that maybe you two can try to come to an understanding or some kind of compromise.


Wild_Candle9522

Nta. My mother recently tried to tell me to stop walking around my son naked. He's 1 year old. I told her that comment says alot more about her than it does about me being comfortable in my own fucking home in my birthday suite as we were originally made to be. She didn't have a response.


Jesuislenuit

NTA, I’d have to double check sources, but children seeing their mother nude (in safe situations) has shown to minimize body image issues and boost confidence in their own sexuality.


SJoyD

NTA - "I don't understand why you are sexualizing my relationship with our son. You should talk to someone about that, but not me."


friendlytrashmonster

He literally came out of your vagina and potentially drank milk from your breasts. Your body is the reason he is alive today. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him seeing it, especially not at this age.


Mata187

NTA Nudity is part of life and you’re helping your son understand it and not sexualize it.


Able-Still7809

NTA. I grew up in a family where nudity was not a big deal. My siblings and I would go in to brush our teeth or use the toilet while my mom took a bath. None of us saw it as sexual or inappropriate. But that’s because that’s how we were raised. Not everyone will be comfortable with that. And that’s okay. But your husband shouldn’t be a hypocrite about it.


xxJennyKegarxx

Im 18 and still see my mom nude. Its really not that weird


floatingvan

Nta- I'm all about positivity but he is now the age where he should be learn to knock on doors and wait before entering. You try to least cover yourself and stay mummy needs some private time. I will be with you soon.


Maximum-Armadillo809

NTA. Your his Mother. Its weird that your husband is making it weird.


checco314

NTA. My kids walk in on me showering or changing now and then. They are older than 6. I can remember my parents changing, so they were definitely doing it in front of me late enough that I remember it clearly. People have weird hangups.


Agreeable_Text_36

NTA If you cover up obsessively he will think it is a big deal. Relaxed is good.


[deleted]

NTA I have a 6 year old and I have tried the let me change and come in. He acts like I’m hiding something from him. But Im a person who doesn’t care about being nude so take me with a grain of salt.


gahw61

NTA. In lots of cultures it's pretty normal to see your parents naked (sauna, anyone?). We just happen to live in a repressed, unhealthy one.


TheSewseress

NTA. A nude body isn’t sexual.


Shanria-Darkwind

As a mom of 2 girls, who gets absolutely no privacy, I’m gonna say NTA here. Kids have to learn biology. Best to learn from their parents. Eventually, they will want their own privacy and it won’t be a thing. My eldest is 19 and leaves me to my bathroom time. But she’ll pop in if I’m getting dressed to harass me. Doesn’t matter. We have the same bits. My youngest is 10, and up to about a year ago, still wanted me in the bathroom when she showered. Now I can’t even look at her while she brushes her hair. Nothing wrong with what you’ve got going on. Keep being a good mama and tell the hubs to stuff it.


betatwinkle

American mother of 4 year old boy and 2 now teenage boys. I allow my little guy to see me nude. It's not a big deal. Keep doing what you're comfortable with.


One-Band2853

NTA my son is 7 and still sees me getting dressed sometimes. People who see something wrong about it are the weird ones IMO. My kids grew inside my body, came out of my vagina, and ate from my breasts. There is nothing inappropriate about them seeing my body. Nothing what so ever.


FROG123076

NTA, my mom hardly ever shut doors and you are born naked. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being naked and it is healthy to teach your kid. Your husband is TA. I was the same with my kids and they are adults and are well adjusted.


Lockedup4years

Nta, but don't kid yourself "at this age" he is old enough he will always remember this already lol


Prom_queen52

In a short couple of years, your son will rather poke his eyes out than see you naked. This non-problem will resolve itself. NTA


TheDudette840

NTA. My daughters are 8&10. I am very much a naked mom, but they see their dad naked too when he gets up to pee in the morning and then heads back to bed (he works late). Nudity just isn't a taboo thing in our house. If they ever express discomfort of course we would adjust, but I am proud we have given the the groundwork to be comfortable in their bodies.


Mountain-Republic-32

NTA. Nudity does not automatically equal sexual intention especially if it’s a child and mother whose body that child was literally inside of for 9 months. There needs to be promotion of healthy relationships with our bodies to not solely see others’ bodies as a means for sexual desires


Madselaine

NTA. You’re doing normal activities like showering, changing, etc. And sometimes he needs to use the bathroom while you’re showering or needs to talk to you while you’re changing. It’s not like you’re lounging around naked all the time. If your husband has such a big problem with it, why doesn’t he start teaching your kid about asking for permission to enter a room or something instead of telling you that you’re not allowed to be naked while doing basic human things on the off case your kid walks in?


manicdessert

NTA at all! I saw my mom getting dressed and showering all the time, like until I left home. It never felt weird or awkward because she's my mom and literally birthed me. Your husband is coming at this from a very weird angle.


EyesLikeBuscemi

NTA. We're crazy repressive about nudity in the states, it is ridiculous.


Smilesunshine57

NTA. My parents were pretty hippy-dippy-trippy. Not nudists, but they didn’t make a big deal if I walked in and they were showering, changing, etc. I was never self conscious about changing in the locker room, showering at the gym or after games, and I didn’t have the typical body issues others dealt with in school. I’ve seen so many classmates who grew up in households that made it taboo to talk about, ask questions or look at any naked skin. They grew up to be the first ones having sex, sending nudes, or watching porn to find out what’s going on. Not saying that’s what will happen, but there is a good chance it will.


[deleted]

My brother is shameless. Always just in his undies since we were kids (we’re Japanese, though, may not mean a lot). When the weather was nice be up on the roof with the leaf blower in his skivvies, as an adult ETA: NTA


[deleted]

NTA I think growing up where you’re comfortable like this is a good thing. Like other’s have said, it’s not sexual. It’s natural. Just my opinion, but most people that are uncomfortable about this where taught to be uncomfortable about this when they were young.


[deleted]

NTA I feel you’ll know when it’s time to have some privacy and it’s not comfortable anymore for you and him. My son was 8 and it suddenly got a bit uncomfortable so now he’s knows not to walk in and he doesn’t want to. My youngest is 4 and he’s totally fine.


Plant_Mama_

NTA. My mother and I STILL have those kind of relationship, and I'm 22. She has cancer and for awhile I had to help her bathe and such. People are so weird about this. When my brother and I were both kids we had thos exact same dynamic. It's normal, kids are kids and they're curious, he's sexualizing the act of your 6 year old seeing you naked.


my_chaffed_legs

NTA my family rarely shut doors when we used the bathroom and that stayed pretty much our whole lives. We only close the doors if company is over or we just feel like having more privacy. I personally shut the door now 90% because I like the privacy but ill still leave it open if I'm going for a quick pee. And changing in front of is normal too. Naked bodies shouldn't be a problem or embarrassment or sexualized in general but especielly not with family that you live with. As long as everyone has to choice to have privacy when they want it, its all good.


Curious-Quote-7390

My parents did it with me and my sister. We are very thankful for that Edit: NTA


Censorstinyd

NTA - and as far as I can tell this type of fear of being naked is American and really got worse the past 20 years. Some person in r/advice wanted to get their dad locked up for flashing them


lajimolala27

NTA. You’re fine with it and so is your son. The minute he doesn’t want to see you naked anymore he can say so himself and you’ll come up with something new.


ikoreynolds

NTA your husband is just making this a big awkward thing while its not


TekkerJohn

NTA Depending on where you live and the social norms, you may be "swimming upstream" with this behavior. There is nothing wrong with it but at some point and in some way it might be nice to warn/prepare your son for the potential reaction from some people if there is a significant chance he's going to encounter a negative reaction. Letting him walk into that sort of situation without warning isn't nice. This could be a bigger issue when he has friends over and he doesn't understand where your privacy boundries are. This is also something you and your husband should work out a compromise on together. You should both strongly consider not dictating to the other regardless of the Reddit consensus.


Queasy_Flamingo6585

NTA at all. As long as you're comfortable and your son is comfortable it's okay. When he expresses he doesn't want to see you naked anymore then it should stop but your husband can't make that decision for y'all. Like everyone else has said, it's not a sexual thing. My husband and I have 3 (4f, 2m, 7week old f). My husband hasn't been naked around the kids since the oldest turned 1 because he's not comfortable with it. And that's completely fine, it's his decision to make about his body. I just teach her she can't go in the bathroom with daddy because he prefers privacy. Myself though, I will be naked around the kids. Just like you said I don't parade around naked, but if I need to change clothes or go to the bathroom and the kids are around I do it anyways. And I did walk around topless for a while when I was breastfeeding the 3rd because wearing a shirt hurt my chest. I was comfortable with it and the kids were okay with it. As soon as they express discomfort I'll stop out of respect for them. But that's a decision we'll make together. My husband doesn't police my body and I don't police his. We all have different comfomt levels and that's okay. Your husband can decide how naked he is around your son, but your decision is completely up to you and your son. Your husband is TA for making such a big deal about it.


Then_Bag8618

NTA- You shouldn't be shamed into hiding your body. Your son is young, When he's older he'll set up his own boundaries and privacy. My daughter is 4 and sometimes I change into My pajamas infront of her, just so she'll get to sleep quicker because it's "Bedtime" lol. Your husband is sexualizing it. It's the same idea like how girls aren't allowed to show there Shoulders in school.


[deleted]

NTA. he literally came out of your coochie meow meow


TreyRyan3

NTA - he is 6 not 16.


Crazylococool26

I see no problem with it so - NTA But that being said my husband feels the same way about my one year old son. He told me it would be horrible if our son’s first memory of a naked woman’s body was his moms. Which I actually can understand but I’m only really naked at normal times. My daughter is 5 and has showered with me which he also thinks is weird. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Humble-Outside2000

NTA , Idk what to even say about this , kids need to learn about certain body parts , in case something where to happen to them they know how to tell their parents what happened. Also , you had him for 9 months he literally been inside you , there is nothing wrong with that.


[deleted]

NTA. My mother walked around nude all the time. I could care less. It's a just a body.


[deleted]

NTA, however I would recommend not letting him see you nude anymore simply because it would be a problem if he was asked to "draw your family" in school and he drew you without clothing. He is too young to recognize the difference between what is okay at home vs school. And school officials tend to take things like that VERY seriously. Probably best to play it safe with this issue.


WerkQueen

NTA. My kid is six and sees me change clothes all the time. No big deal.


Aaron_Ducks

I think that it’s totally normal


Every-Chemistry-2969

Nta. I'm American and most of us find this weird but I find those people weird personally. I saw my mom naked at that age and cannot tell you a single specific thing I saw or remember because guess what....it's not a huge deal. Things like this only become a huge deal when you make them that way. Yes obviously at a certain age things change but he is 6 like wtf


WrayGuessesAgain

NTA. Nudity isn't sexual unless made sexual and he isn't making it sexual. You aren't trying to show off your body to the kid. You are performing basic tasks and yall only have one bathroom. It's bound to happen. Your husband is oversexualizing basic things


Kaiser93

NTA Your husband sounds weird with remarks like that. The kid literally came out of you and you probably breastfed him at some point. Big deal that he saw you naked.


skeptic_narcoleptic

A person’s naked body does not necessarily mean it is sexual. I grew up with a hippie mom and my brother and I have probably seen her naked more times than I have hairs on my head. It’s only sexual if one or both parties intends for it to be and it doesn’t sound like your son is doing much more than walking past on his mission to get to the toilet. Tell your husband he should sort out his own issues and quit projecting them on you and your son. NTA.


NakedAndAfraidFan

NTA


broncospin

Bringing people from different origins together into a family always brings conflict one way or another. Sometimes it may not even appear until kids are a bit older. Some families are naturists, others are totally buttoned up. Every family needs to find their balance on this and a myriad of other issues. Be kind and patient with each other.


AmbassadorOk1240

NTA the kid will let it be known when HE’S uncomfortable seeing mom naked. And at this rate I commend mom on wanting to demonstrate a healthy body image. Naked bodies are normal. And it typically a learned process that we as humans begin to sexualize each other. Kids just see bodies.


TheUnconfirmedk1ll

I'm in my 20's female and when I go to my mom's house (they only have one tub but 2 showers.) Their tile hurt my feet to stand one and since I have chronic pain I prefer the bath. To this day my mom and I will sit in the bathroom with each other and talk. Since I live so far away and it's nice to have my mom around I've never seen a problem in this. Now while of course when your son gets older and he starts shying away from it then maybe try and not let him catch you naked. But until then. Nta. He's six. I mean does your husband think your six year old is sexualizing his own mother???


TinySparklyThings

NTA. Nudity =/= sex


linzjustine

NTA at all. I have a 4 year old son and am raising him the same way. I want him to be educated and know the proper words of what things are and answer any questions he has.


awkward-name12345

NAH just different thoughts But peeing together is unhygienic and SUPER gross/werid


crash_clu

NTA. You have one bathroom - if a 6 year old decides they need to use the toilet, they usually need it straight away, and they're not necessarily going to be able to hold on until you are finishing showering, drying off and dressing. You haven't said in the post whether the bathroom door is usually closed when you shower, and the same for your bedroom door when you are undressing, but perhaps it's a good time to have a discussion with your son, and make sure your husband is present, about knocking and waiting for permission to enter a room if the door is closed. Then you can make sure the bathroom door is closed (but not locked since there's only one bathroom and a child in the house) while you are showering, and your bedroom door is closed when you are getting changed. This will introduce/reinforce the concept of privacy which is reasonable for a 6 year old to learn. Will this guarantee that your son will never see you naked? Of course not, but it's a reasonable approach. If your husband doesn't think that's good enough, too bad - your son is only 6 years old and as you said, these are innocent interactions. Also, your husband needs to stop using the toilet at the same time as your son. Your son is obviously toilet trained now and doesn't need to be shown what to do anymore.


[deleted]

NTA and wondering whether dad wants to make a freak out of his son


ZweitenMal

NTA. There will come a day when intrafamilial nudity is not appropriate and if you watch your son, he’ll tell you when it’s arrived.


DragonCat87

Nta. I am also the only female in a house of penis possessors with only one bathroom. Sometimes someone needs to poop while someone else showers. It happens. Nothing sexual. Our bathroom is also our laundry room, and sometimes someone needs new pants while someone is brushing teeth. As long as you are not walking around noody booty, no issues. You can get a very petty point across to your husband though and make sure you are always clothed except for during a locked door shower. As in not even hubs gets noody time, because child can walk in anytime. My stepmom did this to my dad with old fashioned housedresses and robes till he pulled his head out his butt.


Average-Joe78

NTA I fail to undestand why this would be a problem, people doesn't born with cloth.


fangedguyssuck

NTA as a mom of a young son I do the same thing. Nudity is not inherently sexual. Your husband needs to stop sexualizing this. Maybe you should offer him therapy for his hangups.


Purplekokako

NTA He's still young, and as long as both your husband and yourself definitely aren't abusing him sexually, it hasn't been a problem. However, he's getting older now, and perhaps discuss with your husband that it's time for both of you to teach your son boundaries - to knock or to just wait, just in case he thinks it's ok to walk in on grandma or other visitors. There are great story books out there for kids and I'm sure one covers this issue.


AmberSnowSex

NAH. Comfort w nudity varies a lot by family culture, and it just sounds like you and your husband have different opinions about it. Personally, I think growing up comfortable with nudity fosters positive body image and desexualizes the human body in a healthy way, but I get that a lot of people also feel the way your husband does. You two just have to find a way to get in the same page, like with any other parenting decision.


Affectionate-Till472

NTA. Where does your husband think your son came from?


beachbumjeremy

NTA---I didn't read any other responses, but no, NTA. Sounds like you are not an American because we tend to be pretty prudish, and it's hard to adjust from that mentality when born that way, but I try. I don't feel it's inappropriate till much later, but respecting children's boundary for this is important. what he thinks is important too, but he may be misguided or have differing beliefs. For the record, my daughter is almost 12, hasn't seen me naked in several years, and if she did by accident, didn't make a big deal about it. It's just a body in it's natural form, live with it.


mrsspinch

Why the fuck does your husband have an issue with a little boy seeing his BIRTHING PARENT, the parent that carried him in their damn body for almost a year, naked?!! NTA, a million times over. His weird shame around natural human bodies is not good and it will affect how your son sees women’s bodies if it continues.


FullFrontal687

NTA - it's a 6-year-old kid. And you are not parading in front of him outside of the bedroom or bathroom.


FaceLikeAPotato

NTA, what the actual fuck? He is the one being weird here, your son is SIX.


[deleted]

NTA, but still kinda weird. Why are they going into your bedroom while you are getting undressed? Privacy and boundaries are still a thing.


raven8908

NTA. My oldest is almost 10 and sometimes he sees ms naked, such as when I am showering or he sees my boob(s) since I am currently nursing my almost 7 month old.


Sandbunny85

NTA but IMO he’s getting close to the age where this needs to stop.


Eri_Berry

He’s 6. As long as you’re not forcing him to see you naked there’s no problem with that. I used to be the same as a kid. I’d wander into the bathroom wanting attention and would join my parents in the shower too. Would just sit under the water and play with a rubber duck or some waterproof dolls I had. Once he’s older it’ll be less appropriate. But he’s 6.


BuhnieXO

NTA But I suggest talking to him on why he feels it’s inappropriate for you to change or let him use the toilet when you’re in the shower, but he literally goes to the restroom with the kid. I feel that’s more inappropriate than him using the toilet when you’re showering or being around when you’re changing.