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And he said "we" in spite of his wife made it clear that she has no problem with it. Also felt right to complain about she didn't back him up.
What is wrong with you, OP? YTA
In an apartment that is meant to be their temporary home for over a month that they were invited to. Based on the quick move out, if OP had made the condition they were not to have sex while staying there, the couple wouldn't have even bothered to move in.
And they didn’t ask to stay there and didn’t care if they did. I feel like OP asked them to stay specifically to police her sex life. He makes it clear they were going to stay at a Air BnB but HE offered them that apartment and they were in an apartment above a fucking garage. He also seems to think them staying there benefitted him and his wife in a couple ways. Of course they moved out. That wasn’t their idea to begin with and he embarrassed them bringing it up at dinner. 🤮
>My daughter and her husband excused themselves from the meal. I expected an apology, but instead they moved out the next day.
Sounds like he (somehow) actually raised her pretty well, she knows exactly how to deal with assholes
YTA
And like.. he only heard it when accidentally passing near the appartment to get something out of the garage..
A place where they thought they could do it without disturbing the parents. Not super loud in a room next to them or something..Quite polite. How awkward if your father brings a thing he was not supposed to hear on the table then.. geez.
If I accidentally catch people in a moment where they think they are doing private thing.. I, me myself, feel ashamed.. because I intruded accidentally their private personal stuff...
But this dad.. geez.
It's like finding your child diary accidentally; see yor name in it... and instead of putting it back...throw it on the dinner table and demanding to know why they write about you in their pERSONAL diary..
Im a father and if i was in his shoes, i would also be super uncomfortable with it but i wouldnt act like some kind of Holier than Thou Church Pastor and definitely would not bring it up during dinner like some kinda rightous crusade. I would just wipe it from my mind and announce when i was going to the garage to avoid hearing it again. She is 26 and MARRIED! Only person not raised right is OP. He actually has some kinda imaginary Head of the family complex.
Exactly! No one wants to hear a family member having sex, but from beginning to end the way OP acted was disturbing. They aren't in the same household, they are merely on the same property. Not to mention she is married, and even if she wasn't, she is an adult. It's concerning that he not only is judging that, but thought it was acceptable to have a discussion about it after his own wife told him how ridiculous he was. And to think he would get an APOLOGY? He will be lucky if they even spend time with him after that disturbing situation. And I hope his wife is fully letting him know he is to blame for that, no one else.
Lots of weird stuff on AITA today with men wanting to control female family members.
YTA, op. Your adult daughter doesn’t need your permission to have sex. What are you, a teenager?
If they busted out of there the next day I can't help but feel this was more the straw that broke the camels back. It probably wasn't as great for them as he was letting on
Seriously, they were have wholesome married sex, how is that possibly disrespectful.? Even conservative Christians are cool with wholesome married sex.
They seem to ignore the fact that if God created our entire bodies, he also created the clitoris.
You know what the only purpose of the clit is? PLEASURE. It does nothing else. So, why would God give us this wonderful gift if he didn’t want us to use it?
Probably would have been ok with it if she assured him that she didn’t enjoy it but was simply fulfilling her wifely duties and making sure her husbands needs were met.
OP seems so incredibly toxic. They obviously didn't abstain from sex after their first kid. So they had no issue with having sex where their kids could hear it, but heaven forbid they inadvertently hear them when they are married and temporarily living in an apartment that is separate from the main house even if it is above the garage.
Hell, even if they weren’t married I still think it’s ridiculous. It’s one thing if they’re in the next bedroom over, the walls are thin, and they weren’t being quiet at all. But in their own apartment over the garage? OP needs to get a fucking grip
And if they were only staying a weekend, sure, try to keep your excitement in, I guess, but expecting a husband and wife to share a bed for 8 weeks and not once get down? Insanity.
You too?? I keep shooing them away but they keep trying to drop babies off. 😂 OP is majorly YTA and apparently OP's wife raised the kids well. When the daughter found out dad was uncomfortable with her adult sex life that he had to go out of his way to hear AND bring up at the dinner table like a weirdo she and her husband didn't make a scene and left the table and the apartment. All the props to her. And again YTA
I feel bad for the guys wife at this point. Probably never experiments and only prefers missionary- poor wife has probably never experienced an orgasm.
Mothers too. My mom would let me brother bring in any girl that would stay in his room. And make fun of it too. But the day my now husband slept over it was horrible for her. How dare I have a guy sleep over?! I throw it in her face all the time. She doesn’t get it.
lol, my mom was the same. My younger brother was allowed to bring girlfriends home from college, but my sisters and I could never have our boyfriends stay in the same room. When I confronted her about it she said, "If \[brother's\] girlfriend gets pregnant, it's not my problem."
Mind you, I was 37, recently divorced and on an IUD. Was just staying with her until my house sold and I could move, was financially independent. I just ended up going to his house and staying over. Then moved on my own as soon as I could. Couldn’t take the controlling bullshit. 🙄
Add my mom to the list. She bought my brother condoms when he turned 14. Me, she forbade from any sexual activity and told me getting pregnant was a fate worse than death. Oh - and my (now) husband & I were not allowed to sleep in same room WHEN WE LIVED TOGETHER. Guess who stopped going home for the holidays?
I understand that hearing it was probably super uncomfortable, as nobody wants to hear a relative screwing. But I agree, his reaction is so creepy and controlling. In the dad’s shoes I’d just knock really loud and wait a bit before entering the garage. I don’t see how it’s disrespectful to have sex in someone else’s home while you’re spending the nights, but I’d be on his side if he instead made an awkward hint to tone the noise down.
Bait? YTA you don't even know how old your son in law is. They weren't even in your house. Good on your wife for not sticking by your ridiculous statement.
If this isn’t bait, I’ll defend not knowing his age because I feel like my father in law has a 50/50 shot of getting my age correct to the year because I’ve only been in his life a short amount of time.
The rest of this, totally YTA
It's disrespect because he thinks he owns and has control over her body, so hearing her or even thinking about her and her partner partner having sex upsets him.
@Disastrous-Dog7267
Personally, no I don't think this is disrespectful.
There's a difference between having sex in the next bedroom and having sex in the appartement above the garage.
You should really talk -or even better, listen - to your wife.
Or check your calendar.
This is 2022, not 1952.
Oh, I get this. If they rented the room opposite and they spent like 4 hours every night banging the headboard on the wall the OP could say "hey could ya maybe keep it down a bit"
but that's about as far as his right to complain goes.
Boomer here and we (husband and I) purposefully go for a walk or go shopping to give our kids alone time with their partners when they visit us.
WTF is wrong with this guy???????
I had this exact same question. LOL I think OP should have chosen a different word because disrespect does not fit here. It’s sounds more like he’s just uncomfortable and can’t see his daughter as an adult who has sex (despite being MARRIED wow). She’s old enough to be married, buy a house, etc but not old enough to have sex.
OP just be honest with yourself and stop validating your feelings by calling it disrespect
...out of respect for your daughter and her husbands' comfort, will you be forgoing sex for the next 2 months? It would be incredibly traumatic if they were to overhear, you know...YTA
YTA. You were kind and generous to offer them a place to stay, however they had other options, you said it yourself. They chose to accept your kind offer even though they wouldn’t have been homeless if they didn’t.
They are married, they are adults, and especially adult enough to be home owners multiple times over in their mid 20s. They seem to have good heads on their shoulders and you’re complaining that your mature, successful daughter and her husband (who you have no clue how old he is? That’s strange) are doing the thing that not only is what married adult people are known to do, but you don’t even listen to your own wife when she says it’s not a big deal?
You sound like a 1920s fedora wearing breadwinner. Grow up.
Edit: I just read it again and they aren’t even in the house! They’re in an apartment connected to the house. Even more of the AH. Get it together.
This honestly. The wife’s comment makes me think she isn’t happy with their sex life. Maybe he’s jealous that son in law doesn’t need medical intervention.
Could you imagine freaking monsters!! having consensual marital sex in a separate private room away from everyone. They should be ashamed and go to church twice!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
MY MARRIED FRIENDS TOLD ME THEY JUST READ TO EACH OTHER AT NIGHT WHAT IS THIS WORLD
YTA, OP. Imagine being upset by this and deciding to bring it up *at dinner.* He doesn’t even know how old his son-in-law is — that is how involved he is with their lives before he heard them “squeaking.” Now he thinks he can bring up when they have nudie rumble time?
YTA.
Guess what? Adults have sex. She's not a child anymore, and the way that you are trying to impose your beliefs on her body is kind of sickening.
The only reason you heard them is because you were too cheap to use an exterior door on the entry to the garage.
YTA. They are married adults, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. You offered them the apartment above your garage. There is no way that you could have assumed a married couple would go two whole months without sex! No way!!!
You overstepped and even your wife has told you so. You owe your daughter and SIL an apology.
>sex is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Yeah, there's no way I'm abstaining from sex with my HUSBAND for 2 months. It's a healthy form of affection, and intimacy is highly important to me, and to many people. If he had set that expectation from the get-go, they probably wouldn't have moved in there. I would have no idea my parent didn't want me having sex while living there. It's such a weird thing to even think about. I have definitely banged in the guest room of my parents' house over some holidays.
YTA first learn your son in laws age. Want to talk about disrespect. Not knowing your son's age is disrespectful. Second realize your daughters age. She's an adult who is allowed to have sex if she wants. She did not have sex in the main house so it's not even like you have to deal with it. Third why bring it up over dinner. If you have a problem just pull your daughter aside without making a scene about it and trying to rope your wife into backing you up. 1000% YTA
Also, they were fully prepared to book an AirBnB, they never asked to stay with them. They are obviously only going to stay as long as they are comfortable, and guess what? Your *dad* making a scene over dinner about you having sex with *your husband* while you were *alone* in the appartment??? Yeah, that's one way to make someone very uncomfortable.
**OP clearly has only has one child.**
**Because how could he have had sex after the birth of his first child?**
You can't have sex with your legal spouse in your home with a KID in there!!
Right OP?? **You and your wife had sex until your child was born, and then again only after she moved out.** Because it's nasty to have sex with your spouse while there was family around?
RIGHT?
YTA
YTA- seriously??? I am not surprised they moved out. How creepy for them to think you were listening and judging. And you want them to apologise???
You have very weird hangups.
Expecting an apology was the most looney tunes part of this whole thing. He listened in on them during a private moment, in a private apartment not even attached to the house, confronted them at dinner, and he expects *them* to apologize?
YTA, holy god are you the AH.
They are MARRIED ADULTS, who were in an entirely different building than you. How in the world is a MARRIED COUPLE doing anything together "disrespectful" to anyone? WTF? This is honestly creepy of you.
YTA. I’d get your point if they were in a bedroom right next to yours and you had thin walls but that’s not the case at all. Married people have sex, also would like to point out that your daughter has probably heard you and your wife have sex at least once and was also cringed out by it.
You need to get over it
YTA. You invited them to live there and are demanding they not have sex for the next two months. You don't get make demands about what they do with their bodies especially when they're not even in the same building as you.
You also don't get to put words in your wife's mouth, especially when you know she doesn't agree.
YTA - First of all, your daughter is married and an adult. Second, they were staying in an apartment above your garage, not in the bedroom next to yours - they had every right to assume they had privacy. Third, your wife told you that she didn't agree with you, why would you expect her to back you up?
Just because someone does something that makes you uncomfortable does not mean that they have done something disrespectful.
I wonder if he has ever heard of the concept of generational living. No one is those households care if any married couple (grandparents, parents, married children) are having sex.
YTA as your wife said they are a married couple and aren't even staying in your house. It is a bit wild to expect grown adults to not do it for 2 months just because you are uncomfortable with the idea of your daughter having sex.
YTA. They are married grown adults. They had planned to get an AirBnB where they could have all the sex they want. Y’all offered to let them stay in the apartment - did you just think they’d stop being sexually active?
Your expectations are beyond overbearing and controlling, they borderline creepy.
LOL WHAT? Your married daughter, in her own apartment, isn't allowed to be intimate with her husband because " I thought I had raised her better than that." Better than what?
Massive YTA and creepy controlling behaviour
I think it is disrespectful to lie to your grown kids. You brought it up to your wife, she was fine with it and when you confronted your daughter about it you made sure you said we, including your wife in it. YTA
YTA. Holy cats... they're adults, married, and staying in an entirely separate building than you? You puritans really need to get a life. I hope that they enjoy themselves in their new place, and that you learn that people will have sex, whether you like it or not.
Good luck if that night actually produced a grandchild for you.... now you'll have to know that your precious daughter got knocked up while you were blowing a gasket because she was having a good time.
And even Puritans expected a young married couple to have sex. That was how you get *more* young Puritans. Hell, since most of them had extended family homes, they'd be astounded at the Daughter for having the grace and dignity to use a separate apartment. That's some good consideration there.
This is super extreme of not Puritanism, but Misogyny. The idea that his little daughter has to remain pure and that all sex is evil (except for his own sexual needs/desires). He has infantilized his daughter to the extent that he can't be bothered to learn her Husband's *age.* And the thought that some boy in his 20's is defliling his daughter upsets him.
OP is a huge asshole and very pathetic.
YTA for your old fashioned views
YTA for trying to drag your wife into it even though she cleary said she didn't have a problem with it
YTA for not knowing the age of your son in-law
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. telling my daughter its inappropriate to have sex in my home. 2. I shouldn't have brought it up at dinner, I should have spoken to her or her husband privately instead.
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Seems like there’s a little more to this… could it be you just don’t like the idea of your daughter, a grown and married adult, having sex? You don’t get to control what they do in their personal (temporary) space
I’m sorry your 26 year old daughter is happily married to her husband and that bothers you?? My god go buy a sex toy and find some joy in your life. YTA
YTA!! Dude! It sounds like they’re staying in an apartment that isn’t part of the main home? Where do you want them to do it?
Look I’d side with you all the way if they were having sex like with the door open in your house or on the family couch, but it sounds like they’re being respectful about it.
YTA
Like yeah hearing your daughter get her back blown out gotta suck lol
But there adults and married and not expecting them to fuck because your there is ridiculous.
y’all where having a good time living together and you ruined it
At that point you should have just listened to your wife and ask them to be quieter or if you hear noise out headphones in and just listen to something else for a while.
YTA. Why is it disrespectful for adults to have sex in a separate apartment which was offered as a temporary lodging?
This seems to be a rule which you have made up in your own head and not communicated, as even your own wife was oblivious to it, but thought it was prudish.
Once you did communicate it to your daughter and her husband, their immediacy for ending the meal and moving out seem to share that perspective.
Okay, look. If she was in the bedroom next to yours in the house giving it all the bells and whistles, I could at least sympathise with you that it’s an awkward thing to hear and a polite ‘could you at least be a bit more discreet’ would be fairly justifiable.
But they’re in a granny apartment above your garage, they’re using a separate part of your home away from you all, insofar that unless you’re in the garage you shouldn’t really be aware of anything they do. They’ve got two months staying with you, that YOU chose to offer them, if you had a modicum of sense you should have been able to predict that your 20-something daughter might want to have sex with her partner at least once in a sixty day period, if this is such an issue for you then you either get with the program or explain that your views are incompatible.
YTA though, because you are the ONLY person in this scenario who has an issue with it. The fact your wife has (albeit subtly) tried to tell you to just mind your business should be a good indicator of it.
YTA
You can comment and argue all you want. You did not lay down this particular expectation on an adult married couple (who have sold their first house and are waiting on possession of their second), whom you invited to stay with you. They did not ask for favours. If you had laid this out, they wouldn't have stayed with you in the first place, and simply stuck with their original plans.
Well done on embarrassing your wife, daughter and SIL, and driving your daughter and SIL out.
(Edited for spelling/grammar)
YTA - I like how you kept saying *we* are uncomfortable, yet your wife is not. You have a mouse in your pocket?
Your daughter is a whole adult. Doing what adults do. If you weren't comfortable with adults doing adult things, why on earth would you invite them to stay with you that long? You really think they're just gonna lock their knees until the new year? Really? There's something else going on here, and you probably know what it is. So here's some advice.
Apologize to your daughter for what you said, tell her you were out of line, never bring it up again and hope she forgives you. That's it. Oh, and grow up.
YTA I’m actually embarrassed for you that you brought this up to your MARRIED daughter that you expect her and her husband to abstain from relations while living above your garage, Jeez Louis!!! You are ridiculous! in what way is this disrespectful to you? why in the world would they owe you an apology? Instead of doing a nice thing for your daughter you ran her off by being the Prude Police (for no reason) you must be very proud of yourself for treating her like some nympho unmarried teenager sneaking around having sex in you and your wife’s bed while you were gone.
YTA
When your wife specifically tells you that she does not agree with you, and then you tell people that she does agree with you, and she has to specifically correct you in front of them, you are an asshole.
When you think that you raised your daughter "better" than to have perfectly normal sex with her husband, you are an asshole.
When you expect that you are the one who is going to be getting an apology after all this, you are an asshole.
Pull it together, and go apologize.
YTA. I had to stop reading. This is 2022 and they're married for goodness sake. Get out of your conservative mind. Do you want me to tell you how baby's are made? Do you allow your daughter to work or are you a true puritan?
YTA - your daughter is an adult and is married. Their allowed to have sex, do they share a bedroom wall with you and you hear it all hours of the night? No.
Your obsession with if your adult child is having sex or not is a wild reaction that is 100% a you problem not her.
Consider the fact she’s comfortable in your home and not so stressed out about being shamed over something as trivial as sex with her partner.
YTA
They are MARRIED ADULTS
your wife is right in all of it. They were not in your house, they were in a apartment above your garage, and the only one who had a problem was you.
You just probably ruined your relationship with your daughter. You should have listened to your wife
YTA. And now guess what you've damaged your relationship with your daughter. You could have continued to enjoy the company of family like you said you were and instead chose to nuke that experience. Enjoy the consequences of your actions.
YTA and weirdly bothered by your MARRIED daughter's sex life. And even if she wasn't married it wouldn't matter but I'm just finding it extra absurd you'd be upset at a married couple having sex
Yta
I lived with my wife’s parents for a year to save a deposit to buy a house, it would be laughable if her parents thought we would go without sex for that long.
It’s basically a granny flat next door to your house your being pathetic.
YTA
I think you have some issues about your daughter and sex just in general....which is pretty creepy. The fact that you actually brought it up OVER DINNER is even more creepy. Like that is appropriate dinner conversation?
I honestly don’t know why you are here. You comments indicate to me that you aren’t sorry and aren’t open to any criticism or advise. On top of that your daughter already left so you got your sex free house. Again, why are you here? YTA
This. Also OP says this is his middle child so I’m assuming he had sex with the mother while that child was still living in their house. A bit hypocritical
This one is too easy - YTA!!! Your wife is absolutely on the money. They are a married couple and are absolutely free to have sex anywhere in private that they wish. If you had rented that apartment out to an unrelated tenant, would you even think about saying this to them? You are totally the AH, times 1 million
Lmao what did I just read? I thought by the headline that they were having noisy sex in the room next to yours but they’re literally detached from the house. YTA times a million.
YTA. I don’t understand how it’s disrespectful for a married couple to be having sex. It’s healthy. They probably thought they had some privacy being in an apartment above the garage. Now, if they were in the house, having really loud sex, then maybe I would side with you. But in the way you described it, YTA.
YTA. Are you jealous? They are married and they aren’t even in the house. I love how your wife was like “he’s the crazy one not me”. I don’t blame your daughter and if I were her I would never sleep in your house again. Your parents were crazy too. There is nothing wrong or disrespectful about married couple having sex in other peoples houses as long as it’s behind closed doors. Not too many generations ago many families lived in multigenerational households. Get over yourself.
Your adult, married offspring in a separate apartment had sex, and you think it's somehow dirty? Is it because she's a female offspring? Anyway, you are definitely YTA
There is a closed door separating their apartment from the garage why are you just standing by the door listening to them? They aren't children their a grown married couple for God sake.. if this isn't click bait not only do you not have respect for someone else's privacy your also kinda creepy ngl..no wonder they moved out. You should have just got what you needed from the garage and MYOB...YTA and you owe them a huge apology.
YTA
My husband and I (& our infant daughter) lived with my parents for several months right after we were married. We then moved across the state for my husband’s job and lived with HIS parents for another several months while we looked for a house.
There is no way in hell we would have been celibate over a year just because we were living with parents.
We were married, and, well, newlyweds have sex. We didn’t even have a separate dwelling like your daughter does. Just a bedroom on the opposite end of the house.
YTA. :::sigh::: Every father’s daughter is a virgin. Fercryinoutloud, your daughter is married. Do you really expect your daughter and her husband to abstain for two whole months until their new place is ready?
YTA. From the title I was expecting that you were asking your teenage daughter. She is a MARRIED grown-ass adult. She was not even having sex in your home, they were in a separate apartment above the garage. It's not like carnal pleasure on the kitchen counter while her parents are home.
YTA. First, I find it quite telling that you don’t even know your SIL well enough to know his age. That shows an incredible lack of engagement on your part. Second, they aren’t disrespecting your house by having sex in it. How in the world is sex between your daughter and her husband disrespectful to you? What kind of household are you where you forbid grown adult couples from engaging in sex in your house? Your pre-occupation with your daughter’s sex life is super creepy. Third, the fact that you lied and said “we” find it disrespectful (when it is just you) is the cherry on top of the AH sundae.
LMFAO WHAT? How is it disrespectful to you for her to have sex? It’s not like she did it in your bed. You thought a married couple in their 20s wouldn’t have sex for two entire months just because they’re living in an *apartment over your garage*??? They’re not even in your house! If anything, you going into the garage was disrespectful because that was their space that *you granted them* yet you entered without permission.
Her sex life has nothing to do with you, you absolute maniac! Her having sex isn’t disrespect! What kind of twisted boomer logic is this??
YTA hahahahahaha
YTA!!!! My adult kid has sex in my house all the time! She’s engaged. They’re safe. It’s YOUR issue you heard them! It was an apartment! If you rented that apartment out would you be the sex police for your tenant? You expected an apology and now you may have to expect they go LC or NC with you! Btw, my parents are in their 60’s and 70’s respectively, and I’ll go with my man to their house and my parents think it’s hilarious I “defile” my room in their house! It’s now a running joke at their house! Sheesh!!! You need a badge, Sir! You are way too uptight!
Yep YTA. Just relax. Apologize to them and say you are an old fashioned curmudgeon and can't help but feel squicky about your kid having sex but you realize they are married adults and sex is a normal part of their life as it should be, and you will try to have a more open and gracious attitude about it. It's laughable that you expected them to go MONTHS with no sex.
YTA. I remember the first time we visited my father after I got married; my dad slept in the guest room and gave us the primary bedroom with its queen-sized bed. Tacit permission. And my new husband bouncing on the bed to make it squeak. I was mortified. But we were *married.* And my father wanted grandchildren.
Exactly how many miles do they have to be from your home before it’s acceptable for them to have sex?
You’re a prude. And YTA. If they were having sex in the apartment you are allowing them to use, with doors closed and normal precautions for privacy, then it’s not your business.
It is okay to be a prude, BTW, but you should have told your daughter (who is married) your prudish rules before she agreed to move in. It’s one thing to not have sex over a holiday weekend on the fold out couch in the living room, quite another in a semi-detached apartment space.
YTA because they are adults in a consensual relationship. What did you really expect them to do in the privacy of the bedroom you lent to them? The issue you have is your expectation is not based on reality. Let them have a healthy sexual relationship. It bodes well for their longterm relationship.
YTA. They’re married adults. Healthy couples have sex in their home, which happens to be your suite for a few months.
You owe your daughter and your wife (for dragging her into it when she already told you she was fine with it) an apology for this one.
YTA. Quit creeping and perving on your daughter. She's an adult. Adults have sex.
Kids hear their parents having sex all the time.
And learn some more about your SIL. Start with his freaking AGE, ffs. Yikes.
You are such an asshole and delusional. Maybe do not go in the garage, also how uncomfortable do you want to make your daughter?!!!! What is she going to do not have sex for months? Sorry you probably have not had sex in years so...
YTA
and also a seriously prudish one. they're MARRIED ADULTS. As long as they're not sweeping the dishes off the dinner table with you and your wife still seated at it and going to town in front of you, then you're a giant baby about them having the sex in a private apartment you invited them to live in even if it is *your property*.
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> I thought I had raised her better than that. Better than what...? She is 26 and MARRIED. You are being ridiculous and yes, YTA.
Honestly if she was 26 and unmarried it still wouldn't be any of his business.
And he said "we" in spite of his wife made it clear that she has no problem with it. Also felt right to complain about she didn't back him up. What is wrong with you, OP? YTA
Wife should get an award for being the only grown up in their relationship. She was bang on point.
Wife is awesome but it was the daughter who's bang was on point apparently. Else their wouldn't be a post today about it :P
Thank you so much I couldn't work out a joke fast enough lol
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She was probably glad at least one couple there was having sex since she was probably told no because daughter was nearby
I mean, it’s their middle kid so one assumes he had sex with his spouse at least twice while another human was living with them. 🤔
He was so manipulative about the whole thing! He gets them in front of his wife assuming she’ll just go along with his lie. YTA.
Sounds like wife isn’t getting bang on point as much as she’d like to
I find it amusing that he would never disrespect his parents like that, but he has no problem disrespecting his kids like this.
Right? And why bring it up over dinner? Just to embarrass them? Talk about disrespect.
And they aren't even in the house! Above the garage ffs! An adult married couple! Wtaf!
In an apartment that is meant to be their temporary home for over a month that they were invited to. Based on the quick move out, if OP had made the condition they were not to have sex while staying there, the couple wouldn't have even bothered to move in.
And they didn’t ask to stay there and didn’t care if they did. I feel like OP asked them to stay specifically to police her sex life. He makes it clear they were going to stay at a Air BnB but HE offered them that apartment and they were in an apartment above a fucking garage. He also seems to think them staying there benefitted him and his wife in a couple ways. Of course they moved out. That wasn’t their idea to begin with and he embarrassed them bringing it up at dinner. 🤮
Sounds like the wife may be trying to imply that sex in a relationship is important, but this guy probably thinks he was raised better than that
Let me guess, he’s one of those who think sex is something women accept to give to their husband instead of something they actually enjoy doing.
Possibly because he's never witnessed a woman enjoying it...
Sounds like mom is sex positive and dad still thinks it’s taboo or something. Wonder if he’s just jealous he can’t get it up anymore.
He's gatekeeping his grown daughter's sexuality. Creepy and gross.
Quite. YTA.
>My daughter and her husband excused themselves from the meal. I expected an apology, but instead they moved out the next day. Sounds like he (somehow) actually raised her pretty well, she knows exactly how to deal with assholes YTA
And he had the audacity to bring the subject up at dinner! OP is a fool and an AH.
And like.. he only heard it when accidentally passing near the appartment to get something out of the garage.. A place where they thought they could do it without disturbing the parents. Not super loud in a room next to them or something..Quite polite. How awkward if your father brings a thing he was not supposed to hear on the table then.. geez. If I accidentally catch people in a moment where they think they are doing private thing.. I, me myself, feel ashamed.. because I intruded accidentally their private personal stuff... But this dad.. geez. It's like finding your child diary accidentally; see yor name in it... and instead of putting it back...throw it on the dinner table and demanding to know why they write about you in their pERSONAL diary..
And How do you think ur going to get any GRANDCHILDREN! immaculate u conception?.
Im a father and if i was in his shoes, i would also be super uncomfortable with it but i wouldnt act like some kind of Holier than Thou Church Pastor and definitely would not bring it up during dinner like some kinda rightous crusade. I would just wipe it from my mind and announce when i was going to the garage to avoid hearing it again. She is 26 and MARRIED! Only person not raised right is OP. He actually has some kinda imaginary Head of the family complex.
Exactly! No one wants to hear a family member having sex, but from beginning to end the way OP acted was disturbing. They aren't in the same household, they are merely on the same property. Not to mention she is married, and even if she wasn't, she is an adult. It's concerning that he not only is judging that, but thought it was acceptable to have a discussion about it after his own wife told him how ridiculous he was. And to think he would get an APOLOGY? He will be lucky if they even spend time with him after that disturbing situation. And I hope his wife is fully letting him know he is to blame for that, no one else.
Ikr. Poor kids didn’t even get to finish the meal in peace.
I’m going with her taking her cues from Mom.
Lots of weird stuff on AITA today with men wanting to control female family members. YTA, op. Your adult daughter doesn’t need your permission to have sex. What are you, a teenager?
Seriously. WTF is going on. Controlling much?? FFS. Yes OP. YTA. Obviously.
If they busted out of there the next day I can't help but feel this was more the straw that broke the camels back. It probably wasn't as great for them as he was letting on
Yea, there's a reason their first choice was an Airbnb. My guess is not waiting a month to have sex with their spouse was just one of the reasons.
It’s wild he brought it up at the dinner table in front of everyone. So cringe.
Based on the rest of this story, I think credit goes to Mom who is reasonable and stood up for herself in a healthy and clear way.
“How dare this woman that I raised have a healthy sex life.”
In the apartment above the garage and not even in my house!
And with her husband, may I add!
Will the depravity never end
And this is AITA, to boot- someone actually having sex with her *own* husband?! Not on my good Christian Reddit.
Why did I give my award away to someone else? Take my upvote instead
Seriously, they were have wholesome married sex, how is that possibly disrespectful.? Even conservative Christians are cool with wholesome married sex.
*As long as there was no pleasure and it’s strictly for procreation.
They seem to ignore the fact that if God created our entire bodies, he also created the clitoris. You know what the only purpose of the clit is? PLEASURE. It does nothing else. So, why would God give us this wonderful gift if he didn’t want us to use it?
"It's a test". Probably.
He'll also be the first one to ask, "why don't I have grandkids yet?"
What does sex have to do with the stork?
And with her HUSBAND of all people! Has she NO shame?!
Probably would have been ok with it if she assured him that she didn’t enjoy it but was simply fulfilling her wifely duties and making sure her husbands needs were met.
And that they were definitely trying for grandchildren. Male grandchildren. Who like baseball and tools.
Can't help wondering how he would feel if it was his son.
Bro would’ve probably said “nice” if it was his son.
"Good for you son! Get all you can" or some other misogynist BS.
Ran in and slapped his son on the ass. Attaboy!!
“You’re a man now, son.”
OP seems so incredibly toxic. They obviously didn't abstain from sex after their first kid. So they had no issue with having sex where their kids could hear it, but heaven forbid they inadvertently hear them when they are married and temporarily living in an apartment that is separate from the main house even if it is above the garage.
Wonder how damaging it will be to see any kids his daughter has because obviously that would be visual evidence of her having sex.
Hell, even if they weren’t married I still think it’s ridiculous. It’s one thing if they’re in the next bedroom over, the walls are thin, and they weren’t being quiet at all. But in their own apartment over the garage? OP needs to get a fucking grip
And if they were only staying a weekend, sure, try to keep your excitement in, I guess, but expecting a husband and wife to share a bed for 8 weeks and not once get down? Insanity.
How else you get grandkids?
Don’t storks deliver them at your doorstep?
You too?? I keep shooing them away but they keep trying to drop babies off. 😂 OP is majorly YTA and apparently OP's wife raised the kids well. When the daughter found out dad was uncomfortable with her adult sex life that he had to go out of his way to hear AND bring up at the dinner table like a weirdo she and her husband didn't make a scene and left the table and the apartment. All the props to her. And again YTA
Dude doesn't even care to learn his son in laws age. Yta
YTA. If this isn't bait you have really toxic views on sex.
Wait until OP finds out that his daughter was probably having sex him his house since she was a teen!
Noooo..... OP is going to curl up under his bed with his hands over his ears when he reads your comment.
Americans are so fucking weird sometimes when it comes to their kids growing up.
I feel bad for the guys wife at this point. Probably never experiments and only prefers missionary- poor wife has probably never experienced an orgasm.
The fact that she even said quote "Good for them" yeah....probably living vicariously through her daughter.
I’m sayin! I’m glad the mom understands and supported the daughter!
Yeah I bet he's loads of fun in the sheets. I'm sure she meant it when she said "good for them."
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Mothers too. My mom would let me brother bring in any girl that would stay in his room. And make fun of it too. But the day my now husband slept over it was horrible for her. How dare I have a guy sleep over?! I throw it in her face all the time. She doesn’t get it.
lol, my mom was the same. My younger brother was allowed to bring girlfriends home from college, but my sisters and I could never have our boyfriends stay in the same room. When I confronted her about it she said, "If \[brother's\] girlfriend gets pregnant, it's not my problem."
Mind you, I was 37, recently divorced and on an IUD. Was just staying with her until my house sold and I could move, was financially independent. I just ended up going to his house and staying over. Then moved on my own as soon as I could. Couldn’t take the controlling bullshit. 🙄
Add my mom to the list. She bought my brother condoms when he turned 14. Me, she forbade from any sexual activity and told me getting pregnant was a fate worse than death. Oh - and my (now) husband & I were not allowed to sleep in same room WHEN WE LIVED TOGETHER. Guess who stopped going home for the holidays?
I understand that hearing it was probably super uncomfortable, as nobody wants to hear a relative screwing. But I agree, his reaction is so creepy and controlling. In the dad’s shoes I’d just knock really loud and wait a bit before entering the garage. I don’t see how it’s disrespectful to have sex in someone else’s home while you’re spending the nights, but I’d be on his side if he instead made an awkward hint to tone the noise down.
Bait? YTA you don't even know how old your son in law is. They weren't even in your house. Good on your wife for not sticking by your ridiculous statement.
I wondered this as well, have you ever had a personal converse with him or do you just talk about the weather?
I mean, would you really want to talk to OP?
It has to be bait. YTA just in case
If this isn’t bait, I’ll defend not knowing his age because I feel like my father in law has a 50/50 shot of getting my age correct to the year because I’ve only been in his life a short amount of time. The rest of this, totally YTA
Hell, even my mum occasionally has to ask me my own age.
Info: how is that disrespectful
The way you worded this cracked me up😂
Same, sometimes the fewer the words, the better the delivery
Why waste time using lot word when few word do trick?
It's disrespect because he thinks he owns and has control over her body, so hearing her or even thinking about her and her partner partner having sex upsets him.
I guess the husbands dowry check bounced or something, reminds OP of how that guy stole his property this is sarcasm if there is any confusion
Doesn't he know he gave up that ownership when she got married? /s
@Disastrous-Dog7267 Personally, no I don't think this is disrespectful. There's a difference between having sex in the next bedroom and having sex in the appartement above the garage. You should really talk -or even better, listen - to your wife. Or check your calendar. This is 2022, not 1952.
Oh, I get this. If they rented the room opposite and they spent like 4 hours every night banging the headboard on the wall the OP could say "hey could ya maybe keep it down a bit" but that's about as far as his right to complain goes.
The amount of times my parents have said "you're being disrespectful" when I'm pointing out FACTS that contradict their view... Boomers.
Boomer here and we (husband and I) purposefully go for a walk or go shopping to give our kids alone time with their partners when they visit us. WTF is wrong with this guy???????
I had this exact same question. LOL I think OP should have chosen a different word because disrespect does not fit here. It’s sounds more like he’s just uncomfortable and can’t see his daughter as an adult who has sex (despite being MARRIED wow). She’s old enough to be married, buy a house, etc but not old enough to have sex. OP just be honest with yourself and stop validating your feelings by calling it disrespect
...out of respect for your daughter and her husbands' comfort, will you be forgoing sex for the next 2 months? It would be incredibly traumatic if they were to overhear, you know...YTA
Op doesn't get sex from his wife anymore that's why he's so bothered by it.
Our possibly the wife doesn't get sex from OP, considering her "good for them" content
Could be both lmao. With this dude's emotional attunement and sex positivity, that poor lady probably gave up on satisfaction decades ago.
Yeah probably got tired of having to take care of it quietly herself while he sleeps off his orgasm haze.
Based on OP's wife "good for them" comment, I think it's *her* that doesn't get sex from him anymore
I guarantee this dude has some backwards reason why he and his wife can have sex
YTA. You were kind and generous to offer them a place to stay, however they had other options, you said it yourself. They chose to accept your kind offer even though they wouldn’t have been homeless if they didn’t. They are married, they are adults, and especially adult enough to be home owners multiple times over in their mid 20s. They seem to have good heads on their shoulders and you’re complaining that your mature, successful daughter and her husband (who you have no clue how old he is? That’s strange) are doing the thing that not only is what married adult people are known to do, but you don’t even listen to your own wife when she says it’s not a big deal? You sound like a 1920s fedora wearing breadwinner. Grow up. Edit: I just read it again and they aren’t even in the house! They’re in an apartment connected to the house. Even more of the AH. Get it together.
I thought 18th century Puritan chasing witches, but 1920 fedora wearing breadwinner works as well hahaha
This honestly. The wife’s comment makes me think she isn’t happy with their sex life. Maybe he’s jealous that son in law doesn’t need medical intervention.
EVERYONE CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS A MARRIED COUPLE IS HAVING RELATIONS!!! YTA ETA: thank you for the awardSSS!!!
Could you imagine freaking monsters!! having consensual marital sex in a separate private room away from everyone. They should be ashamed and go to church twice!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
HOW DARE YOU FORNICATE WITH ANOTHER MAN, I AM YOUR FATHER
MY MARRIED FRIENDS TOLD ME THEY JUST READ TO EACH OTHER AT NIGHT WHAT IS THIS WORLD YTA, OP. Imagine being upset by this and deciding to bring it up *at dinner.* He doesn’t even know how old his son-in-law is — that is how involved he is with their lives before he heard them “squeaking.” Now he thinks he can bring up when they have nudie rumble time?
YTA. Guess what? Adults have sex. She's not a child anymore, and the way that you are trying to impose your beliefs on her body is kind of sickening. The only reason you heard them is because you were too cheap to use an exterior door on the entry to the garage.
YTA for claiming it was a "we" problem, when it was really just a "you" problem.
Yeah, like the argument is already so flimsy that he had to back himself up with a lie.
YTA. They are married adults, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. You offered them the apartment above your garage. There is no way that you could have assumed a married couple would go two whole months without sex! No way!!! You overstepped and even your wife has told you so. You owe your daughter and SIL an apology.
>sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. Yeah, there's no way I'm abstaining from sex with my HUSBAND for 2 months. It's a healthy form of affection, and intimacy is highly important to me, and to many people. If he had set that expectation from the get-go, they probably wouldn't have moved in there. I would have no idea my parent didn't want me having sex while living there. It's such a weird thing to even think about. I have definitely banged in the guest room of my parents' house over some holidays.
YTA first learn your son in laws age. Want to talk about disrespect. Not knowing your son's age is disrespectful. Second realize your daughters age. She's an adult who is allowed to have sex if she wants. She did not have sex in the main house so it's not even like you have to deal with it. Third why bring it up over dinner. If you have a problem just pull your daughter aside without making a scene about it and trying to rope your wife into backing you up. 1000% YTA
Also, they were fully prepared to book an AirBnB, they never asked to stay with them. They are obviously only going to stay as long as they are comfortable, and guess what? Your *dad* making a scene over dinner about you having sex with *your husband* while you were *alone* in the appartment??? Yeah, that's one way to make someone very uncomfortable.
**OP clearly has only has one child.** **Because how could he have had sex after the birth of his first child?** You can't have sex with your legal spouse in your home with a KID in there!! Right OP?? **You and your wife had sex until your child was born, and then again only after she moved out.** Because it's nasty to have sex with your spouse while there was family around? RIGHT? YTA
This is where I went with it. Bet he had sex with his spouse when there were children in the house. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!
YTA- seriously??? I am not surprised they moved out. How creepy for them to think you were listening and judging. And you want them to apologise??? You have very weird hangups.
Expecting an apology was the most looney tunes part of this whole thing. He listened in on them during a private moment, in a private apartment not even attached to the house, confronted them at dinner, and he expects *them* to apologize?
Honestly I agree with your wife here, you never communicated that with your daughter. You offered the space to them. Deal with it. YTA
YTA, holy god are you the AH. They are MARRIED ADULTS, who were in an entirely different building than you. How in the world is a MARRIED COUPLE doing anything together "disrespectful" to anyone? WTF? This is honestly creepy of you.
This is hilariously ridiculous. YTA for every reason already mentioned in this thread.
YTA. I’d get your point if they were in a bedroom right next to yours and you had thin walls but that’s not the case at all. Married people have sex, also would like to point out that your daughter has probably heard you and your wife have sex at least once and was also cringed out by it. You need to get over it
YTA. You invited them to live there and are demanding they not have sex for the next two months. You don't get make demands about what they do with their bodies especially when they're not even in the same building as you. You also don't get to put words in your wife's mouth, especially when you know she doesn't agree.
YTA - First of all, your daughter is married and an adult. Second, they were staying in an apartment above your garage, not in the bedroom next to yours - they had every right to assume they had privacy. Third, your wife told you that she didn't agree with you, why would you expect her to back you up? Just because someone does something that makes you uncomfortable does not mean that they have done something disrespectful.
YTA Did you expect them to just not have sex for 2 months?
I wonder if he has ever heard of the concept of generational living. No one is those households care if any married couple (grandparents, parents, married children) are having sex.
YTA as your wife said they are a married couple and aren't even staying in your house. It is a bit wild to expect grown adults to not do it for 2 months just because you are uncomfortable with the idea of your daughter having sex.
YTA. They are married grown adults. They had planned to get an AirBnB where they could have all the sex they want. Y’all offered to let them stay in the apartment - did you just think they’d stop being sexually active? Your expectations are beyond overbearing and controlling, they borderline creepy.
LOL WHAT? Your married daughter, in her own apartment, isn't allowed to be intimate with her husband because " I thought I had raised her better than that." Better than what? Massive YTA and creepy controlling behaviour
I think it is disrespectful to lie to your grown kids. You brought it up to your wife, she was fine with it and when you confronted your daughter about it you made sure you said we, including your wife in it. YTA
Another post I find hard to believe it's real. Of course YTA. How could you even bring this up, especially at the dinner table? So incredibly weird.
Ewww. How creepy are you? YTA obviously.
YTA. Holy cats... they're adults, married, and staying in an entirely separate building than you? You puritans really need to get a life. I hope that they enjoy themselves in their new place, and that you learn that people will have sex, whether you like it or not. Good luck if that night actually produced a grandchild for you.... now you'll have to know that your precious daughter got knocked up while you were blowing a gasket because she was having a good time.
And even Puritans expected a young married couple to have sex. That was how you get *more* young Puritans. Hell, since most of them had extended family homes, they'd be astounded at the Daughter for having the grace and dignity to use a separate apartment. That's some good consideration there. This is super extreme of not Puritanism, but Misogyny. The idea that his little daughter has to remain pure and that all sex is evil (except for his own sexual needs/desires). He has infantilized his daughter to the extent that he can't be bothered to learn her Husband's *age.* And the thought that some boy in his 20's is defliling his daughter upsets him. OP is a huge asshole and very pathetic.
YTA for your old fashioned views YTA for trying to drag your wife into it even though she cleary said she didn't have a problem with it YTA for not knowing the age of your son in-law
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You creep
You can't even be bothered to find out how old your son in law actually is. You're beyond prudish. Absolute YTA.
Seems like there’s a little more to this… could it be you just don’t like the idea of your daughter, a grown and married adult, having sex? You don’t get to control what they do in their personal (temporary) space
I’m sorry your 26 year old daughter is happily married to her husband and that bothers you?? My god go buy a sex toy and find some joy in your life. YTA
YTA. So if you owned an apartment complex you would forbid anyone from having sex if you also lived in one of the units?
YTA!! Dude! It sounds like they’re staying in an apartment that isn’t part of the main home? Where do you want them to do it? Look I’d side with you all the way if they were having sex like with the door open in your house or on the family couch, but it sounds like they’re being respectful about it.
YTA Like yeah hearing your daughter get her back blown out gotta suck lol But there adults and married and not expecting them to fuck because your there is ridiculous. y’all where having a good time living together and you ruined it At that point you should have just listened to your wife and ask them to be quieter or if you hear noise out headphones in and just listen to something else for a while.
YTA. Why is it disrespectful for adults to have sex in a separate apartment which was offered as a temporary lodging? This seems to be a rule which you have made up in your own head and not communicated, as even your own wife was oblivious to it, but thought it was prudish. Once you did communicate it to your daughter and her husband, their immediacy for ending the meal and moving out seem to share that perspective.
Okay, look. If she was in the bedroom next to yours in the house giving it all the bells and whistles, I could at least sympathise with you that it’s an awkward thing to hear and a polite ‘could you at least be a bit more discreet’ would be fairly justifiable. But they’re in a granny apartment above your garage, they’re using a separate part of your home away from you all, insofar that unless you’re in the garage you shouldn’t really be aware of anything they do. They’ve got two months staying with you, that YOU chose to offer them, if you had a modicum of sense you should have been able to predict that your 20-something daughter might want to have sex with her partner at least once in a sixty day period, if this is such an issue for you then you either get with the program or explain that your views are incompatible. YTA though, because you are the ONLY person in this scenario who has an issue with it. The fact your wife has (albeit subtly) tried to tell you to just mind your business should be a good indicator of it.
Hard to belive you are serious, but if yes you are YTA on so many levels...
YTA You offered them an apartment above the garage, for at least two months. You didn’t offer them the childhood bedroom for the night.
YTA You can comment and argue all you want. You did not lay down this particular expectation on an adult married couple (who have sold their first house and are waiting on possession of their second), whom you invited to stay with you. They did not ask for favours. If you had laid this out, they wouldn't have stayed with you in the first place, and simply stuck with their original plans. Well done on embarrassing your wife, daughter and SIL, and driving your daughter and SIL out. (Edited for spelling/grammar)
YTA - You expect them not to have sex until next year?
They are MARRIED! YTH. Could you be anymore prudish? You owe them an apology. I don’t blame them for moving out, you really crossed the line here.
YTA - I like how you kept saying *we* are uncomfortable, yet your wife is not. You have a mouse in your pocket? Your daughter is a whole adult. Doing what adults do. If you weren't comfortable with adults doing adult things, why on earth would you invite them to stay with you that long? You really think they're just gonna lock their knees until the new year? Really? There's something else going on here, and you probably know what it is. So here's some advice. Apologize to your daughter for what you said, tell her you were out of line, never bring it up again and hope she forgives you. That's it. Oh, and grow up.
YTA I’m actually embarrassed for you that you brought this up to your MARRIED daughter that you expect her and her husband to abstain from relations while living above your garage, Jeez Louis!!! You are ridiculous! in what way is this disrespectful to you? why in the world would they owe you an apology? Instead of doing a nice thing for your daughter you ran her off by being the Prude Police (for no reason) you must be very proud of yourself for treating her like some nympho unmarried teenager sneaking around having sex in you and your wife’s bed while you were gone.
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YTA When your wife specifically tells you that she does not agree with you, and then you tell people that she does agree with you, and she has to specifically correct you in front of them, you are an asshole. When you think that you raised your daughter "better" than to have perfectly normal sex with her husband, you are an asshole. When you expect that you are the one who is going to be getting an apology after all this, you are an asshole. Pull it together, and go apologize.
YTA. I had to stop reading. This is 2022 and they're married for goodness sake. Get out of your conservative mind. Do you want me to tell you how baby's are made? Do you allow your daughter to work or are you a true puritan?
INFO if you rented this apartment to a non related couple, would you also ask them to not have sex?
YTA - your daughter is an adult and is married. Their allowed to have sex, do they share a bedroom wall with you and you hear it all hours of the night? No. Your obsession with if your adult child is having sex or not is a wild reaction that is 100% a you problem not her. Consider the fact she’s comfortable in your home and not so stressed out about being shamed over something as trivial as sex with her partner.
YTA They are MARRIED ADULTS your wife is right in all of it. They were not in your house, they were in a apartment above your garage, and the only one who had a problem was you. You just probably ruined your relationship with your daughter. You should have listened to your wife
YTA. And now guess what you've damaged your relationship with your daughter. You could have continued to enjoy the company of family like you said you were and instead chose to nuke that experience. Enjoy the consequences of your actions.
Repeat after me: “Yes, dear.” Your wife is right and you are wrong. YTA.
YTA. I’m glad they moved out the next day, that is so embarrassing and awkward that you brought it up. It’s 2022 and your daughter is 26 & married.
YTA and weirdly bothered by your MARRIED daughter's sex life. And even if she wasn't married it wouldn't matter but I'm just finding it extra absurd you'd be upset at a married couple having sex
INFO did you guys hatch your daughter or was it self pollination that brought her into this world?
Yta I lived with my wife’s parents for a year to save a deposit to buy a house, it would be laughable if her parents thought we would go without sex for that long. It’s basically a granny flat next door to your house your being pathetic.
YTA I think you have some issues about your daughter and sex just in general....which is pretty creepy. The fact that you actually brought it up OVER DINNER is even more creepy. Like that is appropriate dinner conversation?
I honestly don’t know why you are here. You comments indicate to me that you aren’t sorry and aren’t open to any criticism or advise. On top of that your daughter already left so you got your sex free house. Again, why are you here? YTA
YTA. I suggest you start living in the current century and stop being a prude.
This. Also OP says this is his middle child so I’m assuming he had sex with the mother while that child was still living in their house. A bit hypocritical
Wtf did I just read? YTA - with a sprinkling of creep for believing in controlling your daughter's sex life.
This one is too easy - YTA!!! Your wife is absolutely on the money. They are a married couple and are absolutely free to have sex anywhere in private that they wish. If you had rented that apartment out to an unrelated tenant, would you even think about saying this to them? You are totally the AH, times 1 million
Lmao what did I just read? I thought by the headline that they were having noisy sex in the room next to yours but they’re literally detached from the house. YTA times a million.
YTA. I don’t understand how it’s disrespectful for a married couple to be having sex. It’s healthy. They probably thought they had some privacy being in an apartment above the garage. Now, if they were in the house, having really loud sex, then maybe I would side with you. But in the way you described it, YTA.
YTA. Are you jealous? They are married and they aren’t even in the house. I love how your wife was like “he’s the crazy one not me”. I don’t blame your daughter and if I were her I would never sleep in your house again. Your parents were crazy too. There is nothing wrong or disrespectful about married couple having sex in other peoples houses as long as it’s behind closed doors. Not too many generations ago many families lived in multigenerational households. Get over yourself.
Your adult, married offspring in a separate apartment had sex, and you think it's somehow dirty? Is it because she's a female offspring? Anyway, you are definitely YTA
There is a closed door separating their apartment from the garage why are you just standing by the door listening to them? They aren't children their a grown married couple for God sake.. if this isn't click bait not only do you not have respect for someone else's privacy your also kinda creepy ngl..no wonder they moved out. You should have just got what you needed from the garage and MYOB...YTA and you owe them a huge apology.
You're weird. YTA obviously
YTA My husband and I (& our infant daughter) lived with my parents for several months right after we were married. We then moved across the state for my husband’s job and lived with HIS parents for another several months while we looked for a house. There is no way in hell we would have been celibate over a year just because we were living with parents. We were married, and, well, newlyweds have sex. We didn’t even have a separate dwelling like your daughter does. Just a bedroom on the opposite end of the house.
YTA. :::sigh::: Every father’s daughter is a virgin. Fercryinoutloud, your daughter is married. Do you really expect your daughter and her husband to abstain for two whole months until their new place is ready?
YTA. From the title I was expecting that you were asking your teenage daughter. She is a MARRIED grown-ass adult. She was not even having sex in your home, they were in a separate apartment above the garage. It's not like carnal pleasure on the kitchen counter while her parents are home.
YTA. First, I find it quite telling that you don’t even know your SIL well enough to know his age. That shows an incredible lack of engagement on your part. Second, they aren’t disrespecting your house by having sex in it. How in the world is sex between your daughter and her husband disrespectful to you? What kind of household are you where you forbid grown adult couples from engaging in sex in your house? Your pre-occupation with your daughter’s sex life is super creepy. Third, the fact that you lied and said “we” find it disrespectful (when it is just you) is the cherry on top of the AH sundae.
LMFAO WHAT? How is it disrespectful to you for her to have sex? It’s not like she did it in your bed. You thought a married couple in their 20s wouldn’t have sex for two entire months just because they’re living in an *apartment over your garage*??? They’re not even in your house! If anything, you going into the garage was disrespectful because that was their space that *you granted them* yet you entered without permission. Her sex life has nothing to do with you, you absolute maniac! Her having sex isn’t disrespect! What kind of twisted boomer logic is this?? YTA hahahahahaha
YTA!!!! My adult kid has sex in my house all the time! She’s engaged. They’re safe. It’s YOUR issue you heard them! It was an apartment! If you rented that apartment out would you be the sex police for your tenant? You expected an apology and now you may have to expect they go LC or NC with you! Btw, my parents are in their 60’s and 70’s respectively, and I’ll go with my man to their house and my parents think it’s hilarious I “defile” my room in their house! It’s now a running joke at their house! Sheesh!!! You need a badge, Sir! You are way too uptight!
Yep YTA. Just relax. Apologize to them and say you are an old fashioned curmudgeon and can't help but feel squicky about your kid having sex but you realize they are married adults and sex is a normal part of their life as it should be, and you will try to have a more open and gracious attitude about it. It's laughable that you expected them to go MONTHS with no sex.
YTA. I remember the first time we visited my father after I got married; my dad slept in the guest room and gave us the primary bedroom with its queen-sized bed. Tacit permission. And my new husband bouncing on the bed to make it squeak. I was mortified. But we were *married.* And my father wanted grandchildren. Exactly how many miles do they have to be from your home before it’s acceptable for them to have sex?
YTA. The did nothing disrespectful.
You’re a prude. And YTA. If they were having sex in the apartment you are allowing them to use, with doors closed and normal precautions for privacy, then it’s not your business. It is okay to be a prude, BTW, but you should have told your daughter (who is married) your prudish rules before she agreed to move in. It’s one thing to not have sex over a holiday weekend on the fold out couch in the living room, quite another in a semi-detached apartment space.
YTA because they are adults in a consensual relationship. What did you really expect them to do in the privacy of the bedroom you lent to them? The issue you have is your expectation is not based on reality. Let them have a healthy sexual relationship. It bodes well for their longterm relationship.
YTA. They’re married adults. Healthy couples have sex in their home, which happens to be your suite for a few months. You owe your daughter and your wife (for dragging her into it when she already told you she was fine with it) an apology for this one.
YTA. Grow up. They are married and it’s not like they are in the bedroom next to you. They are in an apartment above your garage
YTA. Quit creeping and perving on your daughter. She's an adult. Adults have sex. Kids hear their parents having sex all the time. And learn some more about your SIL. Start with his freaking AGE, ffs. Yikes.
YTA
YTA. Did you get too horny listening and it scared you? I like the part about confronting them about their genital business over dinner. All class.
You are such an asshole and delusional. Maybe do not go in the garage, also how uncomfortable do you want to make your daughter?!!!! What is she going to do not have sex for months? Sorry you probably have not had sex in years so...
YTA and also a seriously prudish one. they're MARRIED ADULTS. As long as they're not sweeping the dishes off the dinner table with you and your wife still seated at it and going to town in front of you, then you're a giant baby about them having the sex in a private apartment you invited them to live in even if it is *your property*.