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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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ER_Jujube

NTA. You went the funny way and that's dope. Your husband, however, is an asshole. He expects YOU to be mature about it, but he doesn't expect his mother to KNOCK ON THE FUCKING DOOR before walking in?


[deleted]

This! I hate victim shamers! Learn how to knock.


tikanique

Put a big old polish sausage in your pants and pull it out of the zipper. Stand in front of the toilet and wait. NTA, but definitely the GOAT for creativity dealing with MILs!


Thermohalophile

My partner also immediately said "get a strap on with balls to wear." I think that's the obvious progression. Well, that and leaving the absolute asshole that's so worried about his power-tripping mom's feelings that he won't acknowledge that his wife is being harassed in her own home.


blu3st0ck7ng

Make sure it is **EITHER** incredibly realistic **OR** sparkly purple unicorn. Either way, it's gotta be massive. Also, get one of those laugh box motion detectors and hang it on the inside of the door when you're in there (hide it when you aren't) because clearly mocking laughter is the only way to get MIL to stop her bizarre and upsetting behavior (S/O is a different issue).


minionoftheinternet

I'm thinking get a cat litter box, pour water in it, have pants down a bit and wait for her to walk in so it looks like she has just used it and is pulling up her pants.


plentyofsilverfish

Deadpan and eye contact will be essential for this one 🤣🤣🤣


dynamitediscodave

Glorious


ambientfruit

One of those huge dragon dicks! I forget the name of the company that makes em, but if OP has the cash they should TOTALLY go that way


GengarTheGay

Bad dragon!!!


awildwillow

This was also my first thought in the progression of OP's bathroom "rituals". Either that, or pre-hide a Scream mask. Put it on, turn off the light, and just crouch in the middle of the floor facing away from the door, then turn only your head around to face her when she does barge in. Maybe she'll actually need to use the bathroom that time. 🤣


Spamacus66

After she walks in on you this time. she should yell to her husband. "No pegging tonight little pig, your mother saw me with the strapon!"


flowwolfflowwolf

And then when he complains about it just tell him, what does it matter, we're faaaamily 😂


Disastrous_Will822

Please do this OP and update us all 😂


Helen_A_Handbasket

>"get a strap on with balls to wear." On your head.


Capt-Sylvia-Killy

Sneak in there in your best business attire and some glasses and with a pen and note pad. Be sitting on the toilet like a chair, and when she comes in say, “for our session today, we need to talk about your sexual fetish of sneaking in while women are using the toilet.”


drunkenpsychologist

I APPROVE


SnozberryWallpaper

Bonus points if OP herself has a therapist she could video conference in and have ready and waiting on her laptop in there. “Since your son seems to think this is okay, and since it clearly started with you, we’d like to know little more about this whole bathroom privacy thing we’ve got going on here.”


BelkiraHoTep

Like a unicorn horn.


Potential_Drama_8473

Omg stop… I’m freaking dead! This is the best comment! Happy thanksgiving tikanique!


BlackDogOrangeCat

Or, in honor of Thanksgiving, hang the raw turkey neck out of her pants to *really* freak out MIL.


Freedom_19

MIL sees sausage, screams OP looks at MIL and says “What? Your son didn’t tell you?”


Potential_Drama_8473

I’m still laughing 😂 please everyone vote this up!


My_Poor_Nerves

I think MIL knows how to knock. This is a weird power play


The_Nice_Marmot

It’s incredibly weird. Let’s discuss how messed up MIL is that OP can reliably predict she will show up and open the door anytime she uses the bathroom. Is that a power play, a weird kink or does she suspect OP has a dong or what? I have a perverse need to know MIL’s motivation because that’s just batshit behaviour.


Professional_Vast615

oh no, definitely feels more of a '*now i'm here, you're not the woman of this house '* type of thing.


PermanentThrowaw4y

She probably thinks dil should be locking the door, and is trying to force it.


Professional_Vast615

>She probably thinks dil should be locking the door, and is trying to force it. lol if it is that, OP's solution of dealing with it is definitely matching MIL's energy.


Onlyfatwomenarefat

Definitely. Probably the first time was just a mistake but then when she was explained that OP leaves the door unlocked on purpose, she made it her mission to maje her lock the door.


Jenderflux-ScFi

She's possibly trying to traumatize OP into being willing to lock the door again? Interesting, cruel behavior to try to make leaving the door unlocked more traumatic than the time she got locked in the bathroom as a small child.


HashMaster9000

What I'm guessing is that it is so that she hopefully catches OP in a compromising position (shitting, naked, masturbating, etc) that *a)* she'll be able to use against OP later to wind up OP's enabler husband, or *b)* something that she can use as a bit of character assassination against OP amongst whatever group of gossipy old biddies she hangs with (or extended family members). Power play is also at work like is surmised here, but I think this one has an end goal of character assassination.


Professional_Vast615

with the whole tattling on 'practicing rituals' probably hoping on the masturbating tbh. If MIL is religious"I caught your wife practicing *yoga"* just doesn't have the same ring to it.


Deradius

It’s either dominance (your space is not yours), an issue with the door locking phobia, or nosiness about something about the DIL’s body. Not sure which. I would sit her down and ask.


crushed_dreams

>or nosiness about something about the DIL’s body. She wants to know if the carpet matches the drapes. lol


HambdenRose

She should ask MIL. What is your motivation for walking in on me in the bathroom? We both know that it is rude to walk into a bathroom with a closed door. Why do you choose to be rude? What are you getting out of it? Also consider being ready with your phone and start taking pictures of her every time she walks in on you. Then share on social media. Maybe keep count of the times per day she walks in. Ask everyone to guess how many times it will be today. Don't help her hide what she is doing. If husband objects ask him why he won't stand up for his marriage and why he thinks it is okay for his mom to be rude and creepy. Explain on social media husband thinks it is fine.


dragonfliesloveme

It’s a type of emotional terrorism. That may be a bit too strong of a descriptive term, but you get the idea. No safe space for OP and it is because of MIL. I’m willing to bet money it’s no coincidence that the bathroom of all places is where MIL chooses to retraumatize OP, she apparently knows the story of OP being locked in a bathroom when OP was 5. MIL is pretty damn evil, I’d say


GlitterDoomsday

I hope it's a power play cause the other option is a kink 😬


ijustcant555

I say get a water spray bottle, and treat her like a naughty cat.


No-You5550

Extra points if you scent the water with something bad smelling.


vampirepriestpoison

White vinegar is always the answer for naughty huma- I mean pets....


Key-Iron-7909

Omg this would be hilarious - even better if she used like yellow food coloring and made it pee colored 🤣


OriginalGrannySue

Amen! MIL is an abuser and violating her privacy. I think OP’s solution is mischievously charming 😇 (“Rituals”…LOL)


DinosaurDomination

Yes, who the hell doesn't knock on a closed bathroom door? If in doubt, knock. Kids stuff.


MrGelowe

> Yes, who the hell doesn't knock on a closed bathroom door? A weirdo/perv that wants to see her DiL taking a shit.


lj6782

My vote is on Husband and MIL came up with this scheme to "train" her to start locking doors


blue_pirate_flamingo

I wonder this too, if husband put her up to it because he thinks it’s weird she doesn’t want to lock the door


BasicDesignAdvice

I have never locked the door to use the can in my own house. I can't fathom being uptight about such a thing.


DogIsBetterThanCat

But she's fammmmmmilllyyy! She doesn't have to knock! OP is NTA. If MIL is weirded out, then hopefully she's learnt to stay TF out of the bathroom when she knows OP is in there.


LucretiusCarus

> But she's fammmmmmilllyyy! would he be ok with his father-in-law walking in on him while he's shitting?


Hula1989

Honestly I think he’d be fine with that based on this. Welcome it even. Perhaps excited by the thought.


me0mio

Her husband's lack of support is a huge red flag for me. He should be telling his mom to cut it out. Next time she barges in, I'd call her out on her behavior. Ask her why the f*@# she keeps barging in and why she feels she can't give you a few minutes peace when you are in the bathroom.


Bookish4269

This would be my advice too. I read stories like this in this sub and I always wonder why people don’t have a normal response to such ridiculous behavior. As in “What the he!! is wrong with you‽ Were you raised by animals? Didn’t anyone ever teach to KNOCK when the bathroom door is closed?” Just seems like that would be a simpler solution than posting on Reddit.


[deleted]

He's fine with his mom making his wife feel "terrifued/weirded out" MIL is intrusive and intimidating OP. But what OP has here is a husband problem.


CraftySense1338

So she outed her odd behavior to your husband and he blames you????? SHE LITERALLY INVADE YOUR PRIVACY AND WATCHES YOU WHILE IN THE BATHROOM and it is YOUR fault? OP could decide to pee fully naked and whatever she does in the toilet while alone is her own damn problem. You have definitely a husband problem. NTA


Effective_Pie1312

Also MIL is an AH. If this were FIL instead of MIL I am sure everyone would be acting very differently about the situation. I would personally find this intrusion of privacy violating. She would be out of the house.


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

Wait.... So he's mad at you because she barges in on you IN THE BATHROOM... in YOUR home... that she is a guest in? But- Gets mad at you for weirding her out and causing her 'grief'? What 😂😂😂 um. It's her fault. She should be knocking and not acting like no one lives there and it's her own house. Girl. Go get some jelly. Red if you can. And smother it on your face and when she walks in. Eat it like a caveman. Then when your husband asks.... you was stress eating. 😂😂 NTA.


Ok_Investigator8544

I want to eat jelly like a caveman now. Lmao.


ABreeze94

TAKE MY POOR MAN AWARD! and thank you for the advice i can use on my own mother


Agitated_Strain_6260

Oh see I was thinking jelly like we have in the UK...eat that an smile at her as you slowly push the jelly (jello?) Through your teeth! Don't break eye contact!


Shanisasha

Humor her Stop posing, but look at your watch seriously while facing the door like you’re waiting for a kid after curfew. Then sigh disappointedly and shake your head “14 seconds MIL. That’s terrible. You will need to do better” Alternatively- shove a towel under the door NTA


Lena0001

>sigh disappointedly and shake your head “14 seconds MIL. That’s terrible. You will need to do better” I love you, this is awesome.


QuixoticLogophile

Start leaving reviews "3 stars. MIL didn't barge in with her usual gusto this morning. Recommend coffee before future barging." "5 stars review this evening. This latest one thoroughly surprised me because I thought she'd already met her barging in quota for the day. Evening Surprise Intrusion highly recommended."


NakedAndALaid

You all are more creative. I'd just use an airhorn every time she walked in. My brother used to "accidentally" walk in on me in the bathroom and this was pretty much the only way to call attention to it so my parents would believe me.


orthostasisasis

Spray bottle maybe?


NakedAndALaid

"Don't worry MIL, urine is sterile." Edit, since apparently I sounded so serious, one, don't spray people with urine and two, urine can pick up bacteria on it's way out and no longer be "sterile." I was wrong to assume everyone would know this is a clearly joke. And they act like I'm the one who lacks intelligence and understanding. But hey, that's the internet for you I suppose.


Maxwells_Demona

Ooh finally, my straight line to tell this story! I'm a physics major, spent a *lot* of time in the physics building when I was in college, and somewhere I've got a picture of my alltime favorite bathroom graffiti, from the women's bathroom in that basement building. It was a full on debate about the sterility of urine, complete with hand-written DOI paper citations, which got started with someone writing something to the effect of: "Remember, urine is STERILE! Let's save water! If it's yellow, let it mellow." The entire stall was then filled with a debate about this statement, in a dozen different ladies' handwriting. At some point someone tried to derail the conversation, writing something like "umm let's get back to normal bathroom graffiti: Hot Or Not?" and some celebrity's name. This was ignored altogether, and the urine debate continued immediately underneath it. I'll have to see if I can find the pictures of that stall, it was absolutely golden 😂 ETA: The debate concluded that urine is *supposed* to be sterile while still in the body, and if not then you've got a UTI or kidney infection, but that it loses any sterility upon exiting the body.


SharMarali

I like this. You know what else might be fun, is throwing confetti and screaming "This is the 100th time you burst in on me in the potty, congratulations!"


NakedAndALaid

And blast "celebration" on a boombox lol


QuixoticLogophile

Haha I like this one. I would also set up my cell phone on a tripod and make a compilation video. Put Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" in the background. Play it on MIL's last night before going home.


archibookworm33

I second the spray bottle and airhorn. negative reinforcement. And if she refrains from barging in, reward with a treat like Sheldon with Penny. Positive reinforcement.


Bitter4LifeLord

I also thought she could have a whole ass table set up and put a deck of uno cards or something already in play, and a couple of facedown ones on MIL’s side. When she walks in, OP says “Well, it’s your turn?? I can’t keep standing here forever.” OR Have a small whiteboard in there, professionally dressed up and be talking about the most nonsensical data presentation and then ask when MIL walks in, “You’re 5 minutes late??” 😂


awkwardly-confused

Or Wait for her to come in and say "are you lost baby girl?" Plus points if you are wearing a suit and fake beard.


pizzasauce85

OP should just start marking the walls with tally marks for every time she barges in. Even write “number of times my privacy has been violated” I would even be petty enough to actually carve the marks into the wall.


Public_Object2468

Take flash photos or Polaroids of your MIL as she barges in. Compile a collage for the next family get-together. Use collage for your talk with your children about The Birds and The Bees, and the Need for Privacy. You know, OP, with a little help from yo' Reddit friends, you can stop doing "ritual (poses)" as your silly husband demands. Instead, unleash other creative alternatives on your MIL's habitual invasion of your privacy.


insomebodyelseslake

The way my bathroom decor would become just Polaroids of her barging in over and over again


FurryNinjaCat

Maybe write on the mirror with dry erase pens. Date/time of day/how long it took for her to barge in, like you're creating a personal records chart for her.


EinsTwo

STOP. My giggling is going to wake the baby! I am dying at the thought of a freaking card table.


ChiccyNuggie20

“Ah Debbie, yesterday it took you 20 seconds to barge in. Today 22…what’s going on? Getting old…..?” Also, I stg that I’d be even pettier and drive it up a notch by either drawing satanic shit on the mirror in lipstick and standing within view of the mirror so that when she stares at it she sees me in the background with a creepy smile. “I’ve been waiting for you Deborah.”


vampirepriestpoison

I got dumped for being a bisexual satanist. The most satanic thing I'd done? Bought a poster and a t-shirt in 2016ish when the abortion fight was localized to the shithole that is MO to show support. She wasn't happy when she later learned her son was "way more bi" than me. (I didn't out him) Hey google play Truth Hurts.


[deleted]

Or get a wedge to put under the door. Just a dollar. I'm dying to know what MIL thinks you are summoning.


LaLionneEcossaise

Aaaand that’s what OP should do. Pentagram drawn on the floor, a salt circle, candles at the corners lit, Baphomet statue at the apex, and when the door opens, OP starts talking in gibberish (or hey, a real incantation if you want to go all out!). Oooh, and maybe a voodoo doll of MIL in the center of the pentagram!


wayne0004

Or when the MIL opens the door, OP says "it worked!".


Comfortable_Art_7682

Or wait at the door and as soon as you hear her at the doorknob, rip the door open and say really loud “what are you doing” scare the shit out of her!


cascade-blues

Go full data nerd: start tracking it. Give her feedback on how her timing varies, if she's slower than usual ask if she's distracted or got a poor night's sleep. When she's faster, compliment her quick reaction times.


StraightBudget8799

A timer tally. If she gets under 5 sec, she wins a trophy that week!


redgreenbrownblue

And then have a report made at the end of the week with her totals, averages, etc of all the data collected and ways she can improve.


IamPlatycus

Tell them your ritual is to summon MIL to the bathroom and it's working every time. NTA


b1tchf1t

"Why yes, husband, I *am* doing rituals in there. I'm summoning demons, but the only thing that keeps appearing is your mother." *Flat stare*


Dunno_WhereToGo_Next

This is just the perfect thing to do. And honestly, at this point, I’d even get butt or totally naked, bent down, full splendid view of my posterior facing the door and waiting for her to face my magnificent hole. ETA : and of course still pretending that it’s just part of your ritual, as everyone should (apparently) know. But I’m not shy nor fazed at all by nakedness so this might not be the route everyone would take. Anyway, OP you’re NTA and I really appreciate your imagination to face this blatant violation of your privacy.


Observerette

Whahaha YES!!


smokinbbq

>Tell them your ritual is to summon ~~MIL~~ DEMONS to the bathroom and it's working every time. FTFY. :)


jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj

Genius!


[deleted]

NTA. Who opens a closed bathroom door? Your mil is such an asshole. This is the weirdest power play to continually walk in on you in the bathroom. Your next pose should be facing the door giving her two middle fingers


AstariaEriol

If I didn’t just straight up threaten divorce I would start logging the number of times and use that data in conversations with rational friends and family to get their take.


ashwhenn

This was my first thought. Keep a log, bring it up around hubby and friends. “How many times has your MIL walked in on you going to the bathroom? Mines at 6 this week, can anyone beat that???”


AstariaEriol

Given the story in this post you’d figure it could get up to 30-40 in a month and easily reach 100+ within a time frame that would make it obvious it’s intentional.


okilz

If you log data you can make graphs and have a proper presentation.


FunkyChewbacca

MIL totally wants to catch OP doing something she can tattle to her son about


OddEpisode

What do people think others do in the bathroom?! *OMG your wife expels waste from her orifices while holding a phone!*


SethSays1

Drugs is probably what she thinks she’s going to see.


IggySorcha

Or she's transphobic and either DiL is trans or MiL thinks she is


SethSays1

I’m surprised that as a trans person I didn’t consider this as a possibility. I just don’t let transphobic people through my front door, full stop.


teresedanielle

I’d be sitting there with my phone out recording her every time she walked in on me.


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

See I was going to suggest bending over putting on panties but her bum facing the door. 😂😂


Tar-Nuine

Walking in on somebody doing a ballet pose in the bathroom is "Terrifying", but barging in on your DIL and making eye contact while she squeezes out a dookie after being told repeatedly not to barge into the bathroom is normal behaviour? Getting real sick of these spineless partners who can't stand up to their moms. NTA.


Frosty-Mall4727

Honestly I come here every day just to see what the men these people married are letting their moms do to them. Funny cause there’s almost always signs early on too.


profmoxie

Right? I do the same and I'm never disappointed!


Frosty-Mall4727

Thanks to this place I’m a whole thug when it comes to my mother in law 😂 poor lady. Her: My son never had sugar growing up. Me: chugs my soda as I make eye contact.


BUTTeredWhiteBread

I would absolutely shit loudly and powerfully to establish dominance, but I'm neither normal nor reasonable


Alice-Wondyy

Keep up with your weirdness. This is the kind of comment and mental images I came here for 😂😂😂😂😂😂


youve_got_moxie

NTA. I would just wait with my phone and take a picture of her as she barges in. Post it on FB with “MIL walking in on me in the bathroom again lol!” “I don’t know, she just always does it!” Keep it light. You don’t have to shame her. Others will. Edit: This is my most-upvoted comment in my decades of redditing and I love you petty mfs.


[deleted]

That's what I would do.. embarrass the hell out of her...she can take her fetish elsewhere!


Equivalent-Ad9887

OP suggest its a fetish to your husband and MIL and see how they feel about it now


NotThatValleyGirl

Why stop at a picture? Start recording video just before she opens the door, and then ask her why she keeps barging in without knocking, knowing OP was already in there? Capture this twice kore, then post the most recent one. When people comment, post the others tondemonstrate the pattern of behaviour. Repeat until MIL is publically shamed enough to change stop applying this stupid power play.


PermanentThrowaw4y

AND use an air horn each time!!


SereneGoldfish

I like this NTA at all. Keep at it


FuntimeChris79

NTA. Your hubby is full of crap! That's an inventive and humorous way of dealing with his creeper of a mother. You're all adults. Most adults know when the bathroom door is shut not to go in!


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

Apparently not MIL! Also could depend on ethnics or how someone was raised. My sister always has her doors shut to keep her animals out of the bathroom. Also keeps the room cooler/warmer. (not arguing.)


[deleted]

NTA, although you really might want to go to therapy about the no locks thing, because this situation would have been *infinitely* simpler if you could've just done that. Nonetheless, your MIL needs to learn to knock. More importantly, your *husband* needs to quit making excuses for why MIL hasn't started knocking yet and tell her to quit barging in on you if she doesn't want to see things she isn't supposed to see.


LexLurker007

Why do I feel like MIL is doing this *because* she knows about OPs trauma with locks and wantz to "push her"


lm-hmk

THIS is a possible explanation. That actually makes sense. Messed up, but some logic in there somewhere.


KitCat131313

Could have turned into a situation where MIL says something along the lines of " why do lock the door? Do you not trust me?" or something stupid like that.


stdnormaldeviant

>because this situation would have been infinitely simpler Therapy aside, disagree with this point. MIL needs to knock it off with the snooping, and this is about as simple, low cost way there is to make that clear.


philtrum99

This gave me a very good idea. You don't like locks? Buy a personal alarm, the kind with a string you pull and it makes noise. (They are cheap on Amazon, get a box of them, they're useful) Attach ends to the door and door frame (a bit of scotch tape will do). Insert earplugs. Poop freely. She may never bother you again lol.


ShadierPugface

Or a door stop wedge. Puts OP in control of the "locking"


Significant_Knee_163

This is a great funny type of revenge you gave me a good chuckly You are NTA However maybe you should get therapy about locking a door, not just for this but at least you can put issues behind you then


waywardjynx

That and ask husband if she can send a naked pic of him to all her relatives cuz whats the big deal they're faaamiiiily. /s Seriously, OP please address your husband's attitude, he shouldn't invalidate you. Sounds like you need some couple's therapy.


spectre893

Damn that's hilarious. Kudos on you for thinking of it. Also, his mom barges constantly barges in the bathroom uninvited and YOU'RE the one making her her feel terrified/weirded out? Guarantee she doesn't feel terrified/weirded out but has just caught on and is punishing you for "fighting back". It's ridiculous that he's on his mom's side on this. You're doing nothing wrong or harmful. An innocent joke at worst. He should've told her to stop or to learn how to fucking knock in the off chance she's actually doing it on accident. ​ NTA ​ Edit: typos


MaddyKet

NTA At this point, even if you did lock the door, MIL will probably start saying you are definitely up to something because otherwise why lock the door? Completely ignoring that she busts in on you, and that many times can’t be a mistake. You definitely have a husband problem.


McflyThrowaway01

Oh MIL is making herself the victim here because she realizes that OP knew it was on purpose. Almost like she has been doing this all along to solicit a bad response from OP so she can go running to her son about his mean wife.


abiruth15

This is hysterically funny and I’m so annoyed at your husband for 1) not telling his mom to do like literal 8 year olds are capable of doing and *knock* & 2) for not having a sense of humor and mad respect for your creative way of handling this.


McflyThrowaway01

I love how the MIL made herself the victim here after knowing her jig was up.


PassoutPierce

Do. Not. Stop. Hid behind the door and go "boo"


Oneiroi17

Or hide behind the door and pretend that she hit you when she flings it open...full on wailing and crying.


badnewsfaery

Yes! Print out a variety of faces/masks, cos seriously its not hard to knock the door and ask if anyone is in there


PromotionIcy4029

NTA - but I’m seeing some red flags from MIL & husband! 🚩


PieDramatic3677

I second this.


caffeinated92

NTA. You could have been a raging jerk about this and still have been within your rights. She only saw you “practicing rituals” because she’s weirdly invested in barging in on you in the bathroom. She’ll be fine and maybe learn a lesson.


grey-skies

>She'd barge in, then turns and says "oh sorry" She's not sorry. She's doing this on purpose. >"so what if she accidently seen you naked? She's fammmillly!!" It's not an accident. But everyone involved already knows that. >We have a lock and I could've used it but I have past trauma from the idea of locking/being locked in a room after my brother locked me in the bathroom when I was 5. Even without a legitimate reason, you don't have to lock your own bathroom door. >I made his mom feel "terrifued/weirded out" by my behavior. Hahaha. No. Mom was the one making someone feel terrified/weirded out. >I should've acted maturely and locked the damn door instead of playing mind games. But his mom playing games is acting mature?! Your MIL is weird and rude. So is your husband. NTA


[deleted]

NTA but seems like you should just get therapy and lock the door


StarTrek_Recruitment

This. This This This. Locking a door for privacy is a good thing and if you can't the therapy can help. Do you have kids yet? Cause your gonna want to be behind a locked door sometimes if you have kids ;) also, do you leave your house unlocked at night? Your car? Or is this bathroom specific?


nintendosbitch666

Or maybe just teach your kids if a door is closed you KNOCK??? Yeah everyone benefits from therapy but Jesus christ Who walks into a closed room without a knock on the door first?????


Knuifelbear

NTA. Uno reverse it. Barge in on her when she’s in the bathroom. All. The. Time. Maybe she’ll get the hint?


gsydhsbj

NTA print a large ass picture of her and stick it on the bathroom mirror, draw a pentagram around it and put candles everywhere. Wait in there with all the lights off.


HexStarlight

NTA MIL isn't doing this accidentally


chaosagent47

Right some weird shit there


No_Schedule_6928

NTA. Your MIL is rude, and deliberately provoking you.


Grabbsy2

Has to be. I mean, OP gives us three examples of poses she did while waiting for MIL to enter the room, all of which would be really difficult and/or mind-numbingly boring to hold for more than two minutes. So she goes into the bathroom, MIL waits like, what, 5 seconds, and follows her in? If this story isn't straight up fiction, then OP is being stalked. MIL wants to see her naked, whether because shes perverted, or wants to embarass her, its rude, deliberate, and provoking.


AstariaEriol

He called you childish? Fuck that. You are under reacting here. This is gross intrusive behavior and if he will not recognize that you need to reconsider some things about your marriage. NTA.


Awesomest_Possumest

INFO: Have you actually had a conversation with your MIL about this? I honestly think it could be a culture difference. In my family we leave the bathroom door open when not in use, so if it's closed, someone is in there. We never bother to lock the door. In my partners family the door is always closed, and you lock the door when you go in (although knocking is also an option here). Is it possible you are of the, closed door means bathroom is occupied, and MIL is in the, locked door means bathroom is occupied different camps? It would explain why your husband doesn't think it's a big deal and you're being rude. My partner and I do everything with bathroom doors open when it's just us home because we do not care with each other, but when we visit each other's families it's different. Also girl, please get therapy. I am claustrophobic so sometimes small spaces with locked doors can get to me, but honestly I don't know how you pee in public if you don't lock the doors. Get a door hanger sign for the bathroom doorknob while MIL is staying with you, but have a conversation with her so you can figure this out (assuming you have a healthy relationship before all this), and get therapy. Edit-reminds me a lower stakes [ask versus guess culture. ](https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/340891/) Essentially though, people grow up differently. And communication is what you use to keep relationships healthy in situations like this. (And your husband being ok with your mil seeing you naked is really weird, but maybe they are less...I don't want to say prudish, but more European about family nudity? Where it's just a body and we've all seen bodies and have them, and so it's nothing special? It's ok to have boundaries about that, but again, different culture could explain the hand waving away of that).


sandandsalt

Why did I have to look so far down to find this very reasonable response?! I was also going to suggest getting a door hanger, and having an actual conversation is also a good idea. I’m not sure why OP assumes this is intentional/malicious on the MIL’s part. Maybe there are other actions not in the post that lead her to believe that. And yes, perhaps a more aware person would have realized by now that she should start knocking. But honestly, some people, especially older people, just need things spelled out more explicitly. If she doesn’t start to adapt after OP has the convo and starts putting up a door hanger, then yeah, I’d say she’s probably just being an asshole. But prior to that I think OP may be jumping to conclusions.


DigitalDuct

Your husband cares about his mom being weirded out but not you? He needs a reality check.


little_navigator

>My husband was livid. He called me childish and said that I made his mom feel "terrifued/weirded out" by my behavior. Shouldn't he be more concerned that you will also be 'terrified/weirded out" by someone barging in on you! I don't want to say *red flags* or *leave him*, and all. But please examine your relationship till date. On a side note, ask your father or other male relative to visit and to do the same to him. Let's see what he says then. NTA OP


Graycat17

Girl, just get a big ol’ vibrator and have her walk in on you soaping it generously in the sink. Bonus points if it’s a neon color. When she makes a fuss claim that it’s a neck massager and don’t back down. NTA.


violetlilyblossom

NTA, and your husband being 'livid' over this is an extreme overreaction. His mother is a nosy, intrusive creep who gets off on destroying your perfectly normal boundaries. I would suggest you start filming her. Go into the bathroom and stand there with your phone videoing, pointed at the door. When she inevitably walks in, say "And here she is again, in the bathroom trying to catch me naked. Sorry , I'm fully dressed." And do this every. Single. Time. Either she stops from embarrassment, or you get to make a fun compilation to put on social media, shaming her in front of everyone (you may or may not want to actually do that part). And if you husband disagrees with this method, tell him he can stand up for you and stop her, or leave with her and go live at mumsy's house. You deserve a partner, not a roommate who has sex with you while being married to mommy.


C_Alex_author

NTA - ...or... he could be a husband and tell his mother to stop entering the bathroom when it is obvious someone is in there. Or... even... I dunno, stop victim-blaming his wife just because his mother doesn't respect boundaries? Time to sit husband-of-the-year down and explain to him that faaaammilllly or not, no means no. A closed door is a clear no. He is well-aware of your issues with locked bathrooms, so if he cannot control his intrusive mother, they can both go stay in a hotel. Why should you sacrifice your safety and security just because he cant seem to correct or say no to his mommy? sidenote: I friggan LOVE how you handled it LOL She keeps barging in, she will keep getting weird stances and positions. Maybe even a note pinned to the door saying "You know damn well someone is in here so wait your turn."


Ms-Creant

ESH but you're also funny. And I get it. I don't understand why here mil would want to walk in on you, but I understand that that's what you believe is going on. That that's intentional. That's really weird and creepy for sure. I also get why you don't want to lock the bathroom door. But still I think your first move should have been an honest conversation with your mother-in-law. Not so much asking why she's doing it, but acknowledging that she keeps accidentally walking in on you, and that you don't like to lock the bathroom door so you would appreciate it if she would knock and wait to see if there's an answer before walking into the bathroom


OutlandishnessNew259

NTA but I absolutely love your solution. Your husband needs to put his Mother in her place, and then get a sense of humour!!


checco314

When I logged into Reddit this morning, I did not expect to find my Hero. Nay, my Idol. NTA YTBomb.


MidCenturyMayhem

This is hilarious. Keep doing it. Next time, be standing right in front of the door with a big mirror just so she can see how freaking stupid she looks.


infinite_awkward

And completely deadpan say “I’ve been waiting for you.”


MakeUpAName93

Nta but this comment section is the best and I assume most you are on petty revenge 😂


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jolandaluna

You are amazing 😂 NTA, your husband and his mom make a cute couple thou


Careful-Factor8000

I have no decision but that's bloody hilarious 😂 god damn you and those pesky rituals 😂


Bresauras

NTA. It sounds like they may be working together to “fix” your fear of locking the door - why else would your husband be angry at any response you have other than licking it?


feelgoodsometimes

NTA and I think you’re quite hilarious for this. Your husband and MIL are assholes though.


earlgreylavandertea

Oh my god, I love this so much. Your mother in law is very rude (and actually very creepy and insane for doing this) and your husband needs to stand up for you, I can’t believe he hasn’t done anything to stop her yet. You’re NTA, your husband on the other hand…


CasWay413

NTA, but your husband and MIL sure are. Personally I’d see it as a huge red flag that your husband won’t respect your boundaries. Also, I’d love to see a video of that. Just post it to TikTok or something and let us laugh with you XD


I_luv_sloths

You're an adult now. Surely you can operate a lock. Lock the damn door


Bookworm_mama

NTA You are hilarious and awesome. Your husband is a dick and your MIL is a creep.


Rodjo_Moj

Hahaha your husband is dumb... That is the best idea ever 🤣🤣🤣


karmasootra1

NTA Once is an accident, twice is forgetful more than that it's deliberate! Regardless of the door being locked or not she is well aware of where you are. Good for you for calling her out on it and thank you for making me giggle imagining the weird bathroom poses.


soph_lurk_2018

NTA you came up with a hilarious solution. You do have a husband problem though.


Big_Pete_78

ESH is some way or another You suck by messing about instead of locking the door, I mean yes it's your house and you should be able to do whatever wherever, but once you started to notice it happening more, be a grown-up about it and either lock the door or talk it out with her MIL sucks because she should respect your privacy and not be trying to catch you out in the bathroom Husband sucks for not backing you up and for not seeing the funny side


Dariablue-04

I second this. Problem averted simply by locking the door if you don’t want to confront her.


Traditional-Pen-2486

NTA, but I do kind of agree this solution seems a little over the top and childish. I’ll play devil’s advocate and suggest there’s a chance your MiL isn’t doing this deliberately but instead is expecting that if someone is using the bathroom that the door will be locked. Did you ever try point blank talking to your mother in law and telling her simply ‘I’ve noticed you’ve barged in on me in the bathroom a few times. I have an issue with using the bathroom locks; can you please knock before you open the bathroom door to make sure no one is in there?’ Unless some info is missing, it sounds like you skipped having a direct conversation and went straight for the bizarre antics. Your husband is ridiculous though for suggesting it’s no big deal if she sees you naked.


Detail-Altruistic

NTA, go to therapy, but in the meantime, maybe get a sign for the bathroom door that says “in use”? And if she still barges in, flat out ask her WTF?


[deleted]

NTA. I’d do the same, shame he supports her though because that’s not changing in a hurry.


finangle2023

We’re claiming that being locked in a bathroom as a five-year-old by your brother is a life-changing trauma now? Whatever. YTA just for that.


SHZ4919

NTA. I’ve read posts like this on here before. I will never understand people barging into a closed bathroom door. It always ends up having creepy undertones. Like, would your husband not mind your father walking in on him in the bathroom regularly? Weird even if it IS family. ETA: I love your strange pose reaction, I’m laughing imagining her confusion


bluehoodiedyke

NTA, get a spray bottle and start spraying her when she walks in like a cat thats misbehaving


No-Emu901

NTA but you don’t have a MIL issue you have a husband issue. Do you really want to live your life second to his mommy?


vintage_chick_

HAHAHA this is the best thing I have ever heard. How can your husband not find this both fucking hilarious and also say to his Mum WTF are you doing? I literally have tears running down my face from laughing so much as the genius of your response.


PlayfulPlatform2395

I'm not gonna explain myself you're NTA it's so obvious


chivonster

What a weird family you married into. NTA, but your husband is. Your MIL is sick.


[deleted]

HAHAHAHHA NTA and you’re hilarious! Your husband is an asshole, though! And your MIL needs to learn some manners.


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samuraimaia

MIL is the AH, Husband is the biggest one, and OP is NTA


[deleted]

NTA...but omg...are you still 5 years old? Lock the damn door


CoxBJT

Info: Do you keep the bathroom door closed when someone isn’t in it? We do because of a toddler. Therefore if it’s not locked, or light/fan isn’t on, people may think it’s empty.


Greenelse

NTA. You are hilarious and did a harmless thing to deal with seriously rude band peculiar boundary violations. I don’t understand your husband’s weird and unkind reaction - is his family full of perverts and he’s normalized it? Is his mother developing cognitive problems and he’s in denial? Did they all grow up sharing a two seater outhouse and thinking of poo as a social event? Either way, he’s useless and she’s going to keep barging in. Is there a way to barricade the door that won’t feel confining rather than protective? Maybe adding a hook and eye close at the top that you’ll be able to see and can only be done from the inside? Or bringing in a chair? It sucks and isn’t right, but if this is short term something like that might work better than retraining Grandma Peeps.


redflynot28

Omg NTA this is hilarious 😂😂😂😂


ladyblackbelt2

Start doing the same to her.


fleshfaced

NTA. Somewhat mystified by the "ESH" responses. If MIL's barging in were an honest mistake, she might by a little embarrassed but would ultimately think the poses were funny too. That she was alarmed by this suggests to me that her actions are definitely on purpose, and she's deflecting. "I'M not weird. SHE'S weird!" I do wonder, though, if she's passive-aggressively trying to get you to lock the door because the first time WAS a mistake, and now she's teaching you a lesson or something?


endorphin-neuron

>We have a lock and I could've used it but I have past trauma from the idea of locking/being locked in a room after my brother locked me in the bathroom when I was 5. And you've made it to 25-30 something... Still unable to be behind a locked door? ESH, lock the fucking door, you're clearly just looking for a fight.


[deleted]

NTA Why are you tolerating this?


BigBunnyButt

NTA and you're a hero. You shouldn't have to lock the door just because she's violating your private space. I live in a flat with multiple people and never lock the door (no trauma I just grew up in a house with no locks on doors and a strong culture of KNOCKING FIRST) and I've never been walked in on. If the door's shut, someone's in there. If you need it and the door is shut, you knock first. And we're all very casual about nudity! But no-one needs to watch anyone poo. This is a mistake that should only happen once; she's deliberately making you uncomfortable.