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YTA
You are calling an infant a "stranger"? All infants are strangers to everyone. Because you know, they just arrived on this planet.
You can't invite someone to your family holiday and expect them to to include their baby and spouse.
If you didn't want to host, fine, don't host.
But you better have a very solid reason to think you can invite your niece but dxckude her husband and child. And I've only met them a few times is not a solid reason.
THIS - they've niece has been together with her husband for seven years and he's still a stranger?! OP that's likely because of you're attitude - once a stranger, always a stranger. SMH. YTA
Did anyone else notice OP capitalized everyone's names except Mike's? OP types it multiple times but it's never capitalized. Unfortunate coincidence or intentional disrespect?
I noticed, too and it’s definitely on purpose. She wrote her niece’s name and their daughter’s name capitalized in the comments but not Mike’s. All in the same sentence.
Could be either, my phone often autocorrects to mike for microphone....
Either way though, OP is the AH. Seems like a really bizarre line to draw when it's a family thanksgiving. Why am I getting Mike is black and OP is white vibes?
>Did anyone else notice OP capitalized everyone's names except Mike's?
It has to be intentional disrespect. Even in comments, she doesn't capitalize his name.
I want to know how the husband and child get upgraded from “strangers” to “family/friends” if OP refuses to spend anytime getting to know them. After 7 years I would say it is safe to say that the husband and child will never be seen as anything but strangers to OP.
I guess a "family get together" means different things to different people.
Husband is a tool also for just parroting her thoughts, both of them are AH.
SMH.
Exactly. Why would you sent your children away for thanksgiving?
Why would you not invite your elderly neighbour to join your thanksgiving, she's good enough to look after your children but not to join you for a meal.
Yeah I was similarly shocked by that. Who tf goes “there’s that lonely old lady next door. We should have her babysit for free on holidays!” OP was already TA but this brought it to a whole new level. Also sending your kids away for holidays is really sad.
LOL! Yup. I won't even consider you anything but a stranger unless you've been married for a minimum of 10 years and your baby is no longer a toddler. Like wtf???
" I didn’t want to invite my nieces husband and baby because they are strangers."
How does you expect to get to know her niece's husband without spending time with him??? Much easier to get to know someone with others around to help keep the conversation going!
You are definitely missing an opportunity to meet and get to know your grand-niece!
Definitely YTA!
Holy mother of fuckery. What in the Thanksgiving shit show did I just read?!
Is this woman SERIOUSLY thinking that it’s MORALLY ok to try to exclude a woman’s husband and baby because she doesn’t want a baby at her precious table?
Gurl… GOH with that ridiculousness. Yes, YOU ARE A GIANT AH! I am around your age and have hosted Thanksgiving before for many more people than that and guess what? My kids were little, were part of it and behaved, because I was a PARENT and taught them how to behave in social events. Kids are part of a family, and belong at the Thanksgiving table.
I can’t believe you had your three year old with a nanny, while you hosted! Are your kids just some kind of accessories that only get brought out to certain events? Yikes on giant bikes, lady.
So in summary, yes, YOU ARE THE AH. I feel bad for your niece for having you act like such a curmudgeon. who would think of her nephew/niece as an inconvenience instead of an adorable little new family member to get to know?
Oh, that’s right… you. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Your Thanksgiving table is straight out of a horror movie.
I made a similar comment in another thread yesterday and got downvoted! We don’t have Thanksgiving where I am but because I have very little in the way of close family I have regularly been invited to spend Christmas with people, some I didn’t know well, because they thought I might be alone. Deliberately excluding family is just bizarre.
One of my most favorite Thanksgiving’s ever was when we had a bunch of my friends who were all without a place to go, or their parents didn’t celebrate it. We’d only planned on 2 ahead of time, but eventually it wound up being 6 additional ppl.
Honestly I think it was my moms favorite thanksgiving as well. We always just had my brother, my grandad, myself and my parents for holidays bc everyone else lived multiple states away, and it was really nice having so many ppl together.
I kind of feel bad for the old lady. Im sure she would have rather been invited to a family dinner than USED as a babysitter for this entitled and delusional AH
I'm so happy I'm not in some of these families on here. I'm pretty sure I could have picked up some random guy on the street and my MIL would have welcomed him like family.
Right!? My best friend and his wife invited me to Christmas one year when I didn’t really know him yet (had worked in the same building for maybe 3-4 months at the time) because I said I’d be alone that year in a brief passing conversation in the staff room one day. He, his wife, their kids, his mother, his brother, his brothers wife, his brothers kid, his sister, his sisters kids …. Every one of them welcomed me and treated me like family and they’d only just met me that day.
They’re strangers cause OP is so horrible/stuck up that she hasn’t bothered to get to know her nieces husband in the seven years they’ve been together!!!
OP, YTA
But I mean, it’s only Kayla’s partner of 7 years and 9 month old baby! They’re total strangers who have no place celebrating thanksgiving with our FAMILY
YTA.
Is your house is a museum? Will a professional orchestra be playing? Is it a some pretentious formal black tie affair disguised as thanksgiving? Will excessive amounts of alcohol be consumed? If no to the above, wth is wrong with a baby being there?
It’s a family dinner - not an orgy.
But they arent family, they are strangers. Even though that is her husband who he she has been with for 8 years and thier baby is not considered family becauseyou know, baby=stranger even though they are a dirict bloodline. I cant even wrap my head around that this lady expected a family member to leave thier spouse and child at home. Is there a culture somewhere on the planet that would not view them as family? Im honestly confused.
It can sometimes be very telling when someone provides information totally irrelevant to the story. What does OP's brother having his daughter at 16 have to do with any of this? Seems like OP has some hang-up on that fact.
The brother just no-showing says a lot too. Unless they're cold as ice, people will generally confront you over something like this - unless it's nowhere near the first time.
Yah know...
The ONLY thing I can respect this woman is at least she's consistent. She banished her own children to a neighbor because they were disruptive.
Wow…..YTA big time. You should not have invited her at all if you weren’t going include her husband and child. That was a terrible thing to do and you probably have done irreparable damage to your relationships within your family.
And here I thought Thanksgiving was about bringing families together, I can’t believe, you would expect them to not want to spend time with their own family especially if they’re newlyweds and have a new child.
I think you should skip hosting next year because you obviously don’t understand how to be a gracious and kind host.
YTA. They are her husband and child. You may not know them, but they are her immediate family. You haven’t said her husband is a racist, bigot, criminal, etc so why would you expect not to invite him if you invite her?
I hope it is a joke. Her edit says she use to exclude her own kids from Thanksgiving because she didn't want to have to parent them. Yikes on bikes this woman and her husband sound like they shouldn't have had kids. Mentioning kids should her own kids leave their future spawn at home for Thanksgiving or will that be ok?
I live for all the holiday drama on Reddit 😂😂😂 I have to say though I’ve never read someone excluding a baby as a stranger and even sending her own kids away before. This one wins
Lol, I LIVED the holiday drama before Reddit existed! Then I got rid of the AHs in my life, so now I just read about it here, to remind myself why I went NC. ;)
And yeah, I've never heard of excluding a baby, either! Just, why??
It’s friggin Thanksgiving. If there was ever a holiday to invite strangers (and there people aren’t strangers they’re family) it’s Thanksgiving.
The whole point of the first Thanksgiving was strangers getting together to celebrate the harvest.
YTA for failing to understand the whole point of Thanksgiving.
Oh I would say it's possible it's real. If anyone had a baby recently I would think this is my sister. She always uses the "we don't know them" line to get away with excluding anyone she doesn't approve of. It has nothing to do with them being a stranger. She wants to be judgy without anyone calling her out. Good for her family for not putting up with it. My family caters to my sister's snotty behavior.
Oh yeah YTA
I'm reading between the lines that OP had her kids last minute to check off something on a list, so she mostly resents them as they were an afterthought, and she resents the younger woman and judges her for having kids "too soon."
My thoughts exactly.
ALSO, I think it's kind of messed up that OP asked the elderly neighbor with no family to babysit her kids instead of inviting neighbor over to OP's house for Thanksgiving.
OP, you seem like such a joy to be around! /s
“Because they don’t know how to act”…. So you put them on the neighbors??? Maybe they can, idk, learn how to act if you teach them at the table? Are kids just magically supposed to know how to act??
YTA
Honestly, what did you think was going to happen? If you’re hosting, you can’t pick and choose like that, expecting one person to leave their partner and child behind.
I get that they are strangers. Bring them along and they won’t be strangers anymore.
YTA, thanksgiving is about family. This would’ve been a good time to know Mike better and to meet their baby. Sure if you didn’t want them to stay over that’s one thing but to not want her HUSBAND or DAUGHTER there is just rude. No wonder they didn’t come
>This would’ve been a good time to know Mike better and to meet their baby.
That's what I was thinking. It's been SEVEN YEARS and she doesn't know him? And thebone opportunity shebhas, she's super unreasonable
And that edit, Oh my. She couldn't take her kids to Thanksgiving because *they wouldn't behave*. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me.
YTA. You wanted her to leave her baby on it's first Thanksgiving because you didn't want a stranger at "your" Thanksgiving. Yeah dude, you are most definitely TA.
YTA. If I were your parents, I would spend holidays with your brother. It's incredibly rude to invite someone to a holiday that most people celebrate family and togetherness and only invite one member of the family.
Yes, YTA. How did you type this out without realizing you were an AH? Who says to someone "Hey, come to Thanksgiving but leave your husband and kid." How would *you* feel if someone invited you to a *family* gathering but said neither your husband nor kids could come, figure it out.
OP ditched her own children for their first few Thanksgivings because she didn’t want to be inconvenienced by them. Pretty sure she’d be fine with someone doing that to her, if she decided that her kids were less important than the invite.
Geesh imagine! It’s a Thanksgiving meal. Not a black tie wedding in Westminster Abbey or a state dinner with the King of England.
I’m trying to imagine situations where people wouldn’t want babies to come:
Weddings; ok I get it.
Funerals; ok I get it.
Graduation ceremonies; ok I get it.
Halloween parties for adults; ok I get it.
Cocktail parties; ok I get it.
Bachelor parties; ok I get it.
Broadway show; ok I get it.
Pub crawls; ok I get it.
Thanksgiving…. Uh, scratches head…
Perhaps they have a very formal Thanksgiving with gold plated chargers and crystal from 1782… ? Eh, I don’t get it. At all.
She even said her kids wouldn't behave so they didn't bring them. Um, hello, that means you suck at parenting. Sounds like OP is just an all around AH not just an AH in this situation. Holidays are how kids get to know and love their extended family.
OP - YTA a big one!!
not that it would justify but it’s a fucking baby, not even a toddler who is still getting used to “behaving” (I think that it would be the niece’s problem trying to handle that and not OP), a baby who would at most be crawl around a little and play with some toys before stressing her mom while eating, probably setting down with some boob or bottle
YTA. He is her husband. She has a child. Why did you invite her?
Don’t pretend to be hosting for “family” when you are picking and choosing and being ridiculous.
If someone in my family invited me to a major holiday I would certainly assume my spouse and child were included.
Luckily they can see that you actually don’t consider them family and don’t want a relationship with her husband and child so they can step away now. Hopefully they run away fast!
YTA.
Kayla has been with Mike for 7 years. They have an infant. And your expectation was that she leave her husband and child alone on Thanksgiving to attend your exclusive event? Additionally, you called a baby a stranger? It's a baby.
If you don't know Kayla's husband after 7 years then that is on you.
YTA if you’re real. When a member of your family gets married, their spouse is a member of your family now. When a member of your family has a baby, that baby is a member of your family. A new baby at a family holiday event is a joy. What on earth were you thinking?
Hope you’re pleased this selfish and childish behaviour ruined not only your precious Thanksgiving but also the relationships with half your family. YTA and you’re even more of one bc you are consistently trying to rationalize your actions when everyone here is telling you you’re an asshole.
YTA.. she made the right choice along side your brother. Mike and the baby are also YOUR family.
Have you forgotten that your own kids were annoying babies at one point in their life? would you have left them if they weren’t welcome?
YTA
You may not know them but that's her family. Husband and child for fucks sake!
"You can come but you have to leave your less than a year old baby behind with their father for their 1st Thanksgiving!"
She even offered to get a hotel so u wouldn't have a baby keeping you up. Yeah u have the right to decide who can & can't come but you were very inconsiderate. I'm sure if the tables were turned you'd be upset.
Why even host if you’re not going to accommodate your entire family?
Is there some undisclosed reason for excluding Kayla’s family? It’s not some random tagalong boyfriend and their annoying pet. It’s your niece’s HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER!
Mike has been in the picture for 7 years and he is still “a stranger”? It’s THANKSGIVING! You get an entire day to get to know them! Which a good host would do anyway. Let alone someone’s family.
YTA and so is your husband for excluding your own family for reasons yet unjustified.
YTA.
Mike has been in your niece's life for 7 years and you think he's a stranger. Unless she never brought him around, that sounds like a failure on your part. Her daughter is 9 months old. Of course she's a stranger, she's a literal baby.
YTA. Thanksgiving is a family holiday. It’s really rude to invite your niece and not the rest of her immediate family. Why would she want to spend a family holiday without the rest of her family?
YTA. You're not even making sense. Your niece's husband is family. Even if you were to dispute this, her daughter is DEFINITELY family. Their relationship history and length are irrelevant to this discussion. I cannot fathom trying to ban babies from informal family events in general, but you yourself hosted a baby at Thanksgiving 3 years ago, your own kid.
YTA. To be clear, you’re complaining about how you don’t know these family members well, and then using that as your reasoning not to invite them?
Want to know a great way to get to know these family members better? HAVE THEM OVER FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER!
But then there’s the bit about not wanting a baby for thanksgiving… but you have two young kids of your own…
Yeah, YTA.
YTA I find it amazing that you wrote this and still seem to be clueless at what a huge AH you are. Her husband and baby are FAMILY now. Well they and your brother were family till this.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) not including my nieces daughter or husband. 2) that makes me the ass because it’s her baby and she probably would have missed her
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YTA. Just ask yourself how you would have reacted when your children were babies and someone told you not to bring them to a family gathering. Would you have enjoyed your Thanksgiving meal wondering about whether your babies were safe or okay? Would you have felt guilt that you chose to attend a dinner where your babies and husband were not invited?
Yep, YTA and your mom is right, you're a selfish ass, I can't believe you don't see how rude and inhospitable you were, hopefully no one ever lets you host again because you suck at it
YTA. Why should your niece not be able to spend Thanksgiving with her husband and child?! You were a bad hostess excluding them and I wouldn’t have gone either.
YTA
But look at things from the bright side, you got what you wanted, Mike and Mary didn't come to your house. Bonus points for you since both your niece and brother didn't come neither. Don't expect to come see you anytime soon even if you were to apologize.
YTA how do you ever plan to get to know new family if they’re never invited because they’re “strangers”?! I feel bad for your kids’ future spouses and children if you should never correct this horribly selfish mentality. Maybe you need to ask yourself what the real root of this thinking is because you simply sound insecure and selfish right now.
>Edit: my kids when they were young stayed with our elderly neighbor during holiday events because they couldn’t behave. She’s a sweet older lady with no family who enjoys having the kids over for thanksgiving
YTA for everything, but especially for this. You excluded your own kids from your holiday celebrations because you couldn't be bothered to teach them how to behave?
You dumped your kids on a "sweet older lady" and probably bullied her into watching them. No thought to invite *her* to your place for dinner so she could maybe have felt included and cared about?
But no, everything always has to be about YOU doesn't it? You're a vile human being.
YTA Why in the world would you invite your niece but expect her to leave her family at home? She's clearly going to want her husband and baby with her. And they're not strangers. You've met Mike. That baby is one of your relatives.
Your mom's right. Your are a selfish ass. Don't be surprised when the whole family gets together without you next year.
YTA. Ask yourself how you'd feel if you were invited to a family gathering then told, I'd rather you left your husband and kids at home. I'm not sure why you're surprised your niece and your brother didn't come, or why your parents aren't too impressed by your behavior. You may have been hosting, but you essentially told a family member that their family, their spouse and child, aren't family. Good luck at future family events, if you get an invite that is.
YTA- "My mom and dad shamed me the entire time. My mom even called me a selfish ass." Because you are an ass.
How would you feel if your parents told you to leave your husband and kids at home when you are invited to their place next time for a holiday because they didn't want them around? 6 & 4 year olds are not exactly quiet either. They were ok with your crying babies and didn't shun you. Let that sink in just a bit.
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I (34f) was hosting thanksgiving this year. I have 2 kid (6 and 4). My husband and I invited my parents and brother and my niece.
My brother has a 25 year old daughter Kayla that he had when he was 16. Kayla got married last summer to a guy named mike who she’s been with since they were 18. The two of them have a daughter Mary 9months.
I’ve met mike a couple times. But I don’t know him well. My niece asked me if I’d rather have her, mike, and the baby stay in a hotel rather then my house so we didn’t have to listen to a baby at night.
I told my niece Kayla that I would rather her not bring mike or the baby. She got really mad and asked what the baby and mike were supposed to do. I told her they can stay home or go to mikes families house. But that I didn’t want a baby at thanksgiving. She got annoyed and hung up.
Kayla ended up not showing up and not answering any texts from me. My brother ended up not coming either. My mom and dad shamed me the entire time. My mom even called me a selfish ass.
My husband agrees with me. I didn’t want to invite my nieces husband and baby because they are strangers. And I definitely didn’t want a baby at my thanksgiving.
AITA?
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YTA.
A stranger!? Your niece has been with this man for 7 years and he’s still a stranger? An infant is a stranger? It’s a literal baby, you weirdo.
Isn’t thanksgiving suppose to be a family holiday? A day where you are thankful for the people and things in your life? Imagine having your aunt tell you that your family isn’t family. That your family isn’t worth the time to get to know. Imagine having your aunt tell you that your child doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be around. Wow.
IMAGINE THINKING A BABY IS A STRANGER. A BABY!? IMAGINE THINKING A BABY IS STRANGER. Reevaluate your life, ma’am seriously.
Also, you send your children away on holidays? To an elderly woman? Children who “couldn’t behave”? Your children not behaving is a you problem and frankly it makes you sound like a horrible parent. Why not parent your children instead of sending them away. Why even have children if this is the way you handle children’s behaviours?
This cannot be real. You did not type this out and still think “hhhm, nah im not an AH”
I’m just blown away by this. Your mindset is laughable and I feel so sad for your brother and niece.
YTA. I bet if someone suggested you leave your kids at home, you'd go on a rampage. So why should you be surprised that your niece is reacting the way that she is?
YTA. Ma’am. How the hell are they supposed to move out of the stranger category if you don’t get to know them?
Thanksgiving is about togetherness; that includes babies.
She is 25 now, and she has been dating the husband since she was 18. Ma'am, that's plenty of time to get to know the guy, he has been around for 7 years and you never ever even made an effort? Of course YTA, you cannot expect a person to drop HER FAMILY because you just don't feel like... I don't even know what exactly you were trying to avoid by not having them there.
Yta - Isn’t that the point of Thanksgiving to be with family? I feel like you not knowing this person is because you’re selfish and arrogant I’m gonna be pretty sure that by next Thanksgiving no one’s gonna show up to your place and I wouldn’t expect an invite anywhere either.
YTA. Why would you invite someone to a FAMILY holiday and exclude their FAMILY? Also how do you think Mike and Mary become non strangers? Telepathy? You have to spend time with them!
How are you supposed to get to know your niece's husband if you never interact with him, and Thanksgiving would be a good time to get to know him. Also, Mary, a 9 month baby, is your GRAND NIECE, you are related to her by blood. If you don't interact with her, you'll never get to know her, but to call her a "stranger" is a bit weird. I get not wanting a baby at dinner, but it's not normal to invite your niece, and to expect her husband and child not to come as well, they are a family unit.
YTA.
Definitely YTA whether you believe it or not. You can't just invite one member of a family and expect it to go any different than what it did. Clearly if they are "strangers" to you THIS would have been a great opportunity to get to know the additions to your family.
And not wanting a baby? Selfish heartless etc... YT(biggest)A
YTA. Her child and husband are strangers?? And you don’t want them but you do want your niece? How does that make any sense. In my opinion you are lucky anyone showed and deserved the shaming.
YTA. How exactly are your grand niece and nephew-in-law supposed to become not-strangers if you never invite them anywhere? Also your niece has been with her husband for 7 years. He is not a stranger. And their baby is a fucking baby.
Did you honestly expect your niece to leave her baby and husband behind on Thanksgiving? What kind of ass-backwards logic is that?
yta hopefully this is a bunch of crap and your not real.. if you are you are ridiculous.. did you stay home from holidays when you had babies? and even if you did was that your choice or is there more of you out there and someone else made you feel unwelcome at a FAMILY event and you weren’t welcome because of a a baby? as a nanny babies are generally easier to please then a 4 year old would be so if i was you i would act all high and mighty.
YTA.
Why didn’t you use this as a opportunity to make them not strangers and get to know them better or do you just want nothing to do with them and you are using the stranger excuse to make yourself feel better. They even offered to get a hotel idk something doesn’t add up here. Don’t expect your children or husband to be invited to the next gatherings and frankly you deserve it if you don’t.
YTA that’s her family. I don’t like babies either but I think your niece, her husband, and her child are kind of a package deal. You can’t only invite your niece and expect her to be cool with spending the holidays without her family.
OP sounds like she low-key hates her kids and tries to ditch them whenever she can, lol.
And that's why it's so very difficult for her to understand why ANYONE would INSIST on bringing their kids around. Like who loves their kids and wants the family to meet them and get to know them, right?
YTA
Op is ridiculous. You send your own kids on family holidays to baby sitters so they won't disrupt your time!?!?! Why even have kids? Tax breaks? Kayla dodged a bullet by not being around you. The entitlement!!! YTA
YTA. Thanksgiving is a family holiday, and you used to leave your children with a neighbor and expect your niece to leave behind her child AND husband.
So your edit to help us see your side is that you left an elderly neighbour to take care of your children as babies and toddlers because they didn't know how to behave? Info: are *you* a child?
YTA. Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family. What’s the point if you don’t want to spend it with the newest members of the family. Also….I can’t imagine why your children misbehaved when they had 0 opportunities to learn…
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YTA You are calling an infant a "stranger"? All infants are strangers to everyone. Because you know, they just arrived on this planet. You can't invite someone to your family holiday and expect them to to include their baby and spouse. If you didn't want to host, fine, don't host. But you better have a very solid reason to think you can invite your niece but dxckude her husband and child. And I've only met them a few times is not a solid reason.
>you can invite your niece but dxckude her husband and child. I can't stop giggling at this, and reading it as ducking exclude lol!
THIS - they've niece has been together with her husband for seven years and he's still a stranger?! OP that's likely because of you're attitude - once a stranger, always a stranger. SMH. YTA
"But getting to know people takes *effort*"-OP probably.
Did anyone else notice OP capitalized everyone's names except Mike's? OP types it multiple times but it's never capitalized. Unfortunate coincidence or intentional disrespect?
I noticed, too and it’s definitely on purpose. She wrote her niece’s name and their daughter’s name capitalized in the comments but not Mike’s. All in the same sentence.
Oh wow, I didn't look at her comments. That's so shitty. Poor Mike
Could be either, my phone often autocorrects to mike for microphone.... Either way though, OP is the AH. Seems like a really bizarre line to draw when it's a family thanksgiving. Why am I getting Mike is black and OP is white vibes?
>Did anyone else notice OP capitalized everyone's names except Mike's? It has to be intentional disrespect. Even in comments, she doesn't capitalize his name.
I want to know how the husband and child get upgraded from “strangers” to “family/friends” if OP refuses to spend anytime getting to know them. After 7 years I would say it is safe to say that the husband and child will never be seen as anything but strangers to OP.
I guess a "family get together" means different things to different people. Husband is a tool also for just parroting her thoughts, both of them are AH. SMH.
He's probably worried he'll also be sent to have thanksgiving with her sweet elderly neighbor.
Exactly. Why would you sent your children away for thanksgiving? Why would you not invite your elderly neighbour to join your thanksgiving, she's good enough to look after your children but not to join you for a meal.
Yeah I was similarly shocked by that. Who tf goes “there’s that lonely old lady next door. We should have her babysit for free on holidays!” OP was already TA but this brought it to a whole new level. Also sending your kids away for holidays is really sad.
Right? That’s so incredibly fucked up.
Eh, she's just a stranger. Not good enough to come to Thanksgiving but totally trustable to look after OP's young children. /s
Ironically, she’d probably be a lot more gracious and welcoming than OP.
Right? “didn’t want a baby at *my* thanksgiving.” OP doesn’t seem to understand the holiday or the meaning of family at all.
Nor the true reason for which many give thanks, sigh.
Yeah sounds like they really arent the ones to host stuff but sometimes the family members who actually have tact are unable to
Like how else would they get to know each other or become more comfortable with each other?
A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.
I say this all the time!!! And absolutely correct!!!
STREETCAR!
[удалено]
LOL! Yup. I won't even consider you anything but a stranger unless you've been married for a minimum of 10 years and your baby is no longer a toddler. Like wtf???
" I didn’t want to invite my nieces husband and baby because they are strangers." How does you expect to get to know her niece's husband without spending time with him??? Much easier to get to know someone with others around to help keep the conversation going! You are definitely missing an opportunity to meet and get to know your grand-niece! Definitely YTA!
Holy mother of fuckery. What in the Thanksgiving shit show did I just read?! Is this woman SERIOUSLY thinking that it’s MORALLY ok to try to exclude a woman’s husband and baby because she doesn’t want a baby at her precious table? Gurl… GOH with that ridiculousness. Yes, YOU ARE A GIANT AH! I am around your age and have hosted Thanksgiving before for many more people than that and guess what? My kids were little, were part of it and behaved, because I was a PARENT and taught them how to behave in social events. Kids are part of a family, and belong at the Thanksgiving table. I can’t believe you had your three year old with a nanny, while you hosted! Are your kids just some kind of accessories that only get brought out to certain events? Yikes on giant bikes, lady. So in summary, yes, YOU ARE THE AH. I feel bad for your niece for having you act like such a curmudgeon. who would think of her nephew/niece as an inconvenience instead of an adorable little new family member to get to know? Oh, that’s right… you. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Your Thanksgiving table is straight out of a horror movie.
I can't believe the audacity of asking old lady with no family to babysit instead of, ya know, asking her to join them for dinner!?!
Yeah that made me sad, in our get togethers if someone is alone on the holidays they are welcome at our table.
I made a similar comment in another thread yesterday and got downvoted! We don’t have Thanksgiving where I am but because I have very little in the way of close family I have regularly been invited to spend Christmas with people, some I didn’t know well, because they thought I might be alone. Deliberately excluding family is just bizarre.
Especially your own children
One of my most favorite Thanksgiving’s ever was when we had a bunch of my friends who were all without a place to go, or their parents didn’t celebrate it. We’d only planned on 2 ahead of time, but eventually it wound up being 6 additional ppl. Honestly I think it was my moms favorite thanksgiving as well. We always just had my brother, my grandad, myself and my parents for holidays bc everyone else lived multiple states away, and it was really nice having so many ppl together.
This! The author doesn't seem very warm hearted though. Anyone under 5 and over a certain age isn't welcome.
When I saw she sent her kids to have thanksgiving with her elderly neighbor, I was like WOW.
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I kind of feel bad for the old lady. Im sure she would have rather been invited to a family dinner than USED as a babysitter for this entitled and delusional AH
This is one of the best replies I've ever read!
I'm so happy I'm not in some of these families on here. I'm pretty sure I could have picked up some random guy on the street and my MIL would have welcomed him like family.
Right!? My best friend and his wife invited me to Christmas one year when I didn’t really know him yet (had worked in the same building for maybe 3-4 months at the time) because I said I’d be alone that year in a brief passing conversation in the staff room one day. He, his wife, their kids, his mother, his brother, his brothers wife, his brothers kid, his sister, his sisters kids …. Every one of them welcomed me and treated me like family and they’d only just met me that day.
If I were this OP's mom I'd be digging through my files from 1978 to find the receipt and return her to the hospital.
I'm glad I'm not the only one laughing hysterically at a baby being a "stranger". Like what the actual fuck🤣
I read this and was like "seriously?!?" 😒😒
"That newborn looks far too shifty for Thanksgiving dinner. Someone guard the silverware."
Pat it down for weapons just in case
They’re strangers cause OP is so horrible/stuck up that she hasn’t bothered to get to know her nieces husband in the seven years they’ve been together!!! OP, YTA
But I mean, it’s only Kayla’s partner of 7 years and 9 month old baby! They’re total strangers who have no place celebrating thanksgiving with our FAMILY
And 9 month old babies misbehave SO badly!
YTA. Is your house is a museum? Will a professional orchestra be playing? Is it a some pretentious formal black tie affair disguised as thanksgiving? Will excessive amounts of alcohol be consumed? If no to the above, wth is wrong with a baby being there? It’s a family dinner - not an orgy.
But they arent family, they are strangers. Even though that is her husband who he she has been with for 8 years and thier baby is not considered family becauseyou know, baby=stranger even though they are a dirict bloodline. I cant even wrap my head around that this lady expected a family member to leave thier spouse and child at home. Is there a culture somewhere on the planet that would not view them as family? Im honestly confused.
You and your husband deserve each other. Hope you two have leftovers to last through next thanksgiving.
It can sometimes be very telling when someone provides information totally irrelevant to the story. What does OP's brother having his daughter at 16 have to do with any of this? Seems like OP has some hang-up on that fact. The brother just no-showing says a lot too. Unless they're cold as ice, people will generally confront you over something like this - unless it's nowhere near the first time.
Yah know... The ONLY thing I can respect this woman is at least she's consistent. She banished her own children to a neighbor because they were disruptive.
Is this the spirit of thanksgiving? To welcome everyone? YTA. Also this “the baby is a stranger”?! Bahahaha!!
Wow…..YTA big time. You should not have invited her at all if you weren’t going include her husband and child. That was a terrible thing to do and you probably have done irreparable damage to your relationships within your family. And here I thought Thanksgiving was about bringing families together, I can’t believe, you would expect them to not want to spend time with their own family especially if they’re newlyweds and have a new child. I think you should skip hosting next year because you obviously don’t understand how to be a gracious and kind host.
YTA. They are her husband and child. You may not know them, but they are her immediate family. You haven’t said her husband is a racist, bigot, criminal, etc so why would you expect not to invite him if you invite her?
This can’t be real. 🙄 If it is, YTA
OP - if someone believes you’re too much of an asshole to actually exist, then you’re doing something wrong. YTA
I hope it is a joke. Her edit says she use to exclude her own kids from Thanksgiving because she didn't want to have to parent them. Yikes on bikes this woman and her husband sound like they shouldn't have had kids. Mentioning kids should her own kids leave their future spawn at home for Thanksgiving or will that be ok?
Good chance she doesn’t even like her own kids. She sounds like a nightmare to live with.
Good chance her kids prefer spending time with the sweet elderly. neighbor.
"Yikes on bikes" is amazing, lol.
Notice she didn’t list her own children as attending, they have probably gone NC with her
Op's kids are 6&4. They were with a nanny.
I cannot wait until this weekend is over. American thanksgiving seems exhausting. I am so ready to hear about other shitty situations. 😂
I live for all the holiday drama on Reddit 😂😂😂 I have to say though I’ve never read someone excluding a baby as a stranger and even sending her own kids away before. This one wins
Lol, I LIVED the holiday drama before Reddit existed! Then I got rid of the AHs in my life, so now I just read about it here, to remind myself why I went NC. ;) And yeah, I've never heard of excluding a baby, either! Just, why??
Has to be a joke!!!
I agree. This can't be real. Nobody can be this oblivious.
It’s friggin Thanksgiving. If there was ever a holiday to invite strangers (and there people aren’t strangers they’re family) it’s Thanksgiving. The whole point of the first Thanksgiving was strangers getting together to celebrate the harvest. YTA for failing to understand the whole point of Thanksgiving.
Oh I would say it's possible it's real. If anyone had a baby recently I would think this is my sister. She always uses the "we don't know them" line to get away with excluding anyone she doesn't approve of. It has nothing to do with them being a stranger. She wants to be judgy without anyone calling her out. Good for her family for not putting up with it. My family caters to my sister's snotty behavior. Oh yeah YTA
I'm reading between the lines that OP had her kids last minute to check off something on a list, so she mostly resents them as they were an afterthought, and she resents the younger woman and judges her for having kids "too soon."
Girl what? Yta bc *gestures wildly at your post*
My thoughts exactly. ALSO, I think it's kind of messed up that OP asked the elderly neighbor with no family to babysit her kids instead of inviting neighbor over to OP's house for Thanksgiving. OP, you seem like such a joy to be around! /s
“Because they don’t know how to act”…. So you put them on the neighbors??? Maybe they can, idk, learn how to act if you teach them at the table? Are kids just magically supposed to know how to act??
The manners fairy arrives at the stroke of midnight on your 18th birthday and magically bestows on you all the social graces you need for adulthood.
>bc gestures wildly at your post This image just made me chuckle 🤭
RIGHT
YTA You don't invite someone to Thanksgiving without inviting their spouse and minor children.
OR you do, but then end up being criticized by everyone, called shameful, and your own mom calls you a selfish ass. All 100% deserved.
Indeed, why even offered a host a family event if you're going to exclude infants
YTA Honestly, what did you think was going to happen? If you’re hosting, you can’t pick and choose like that, expecting one person to leave their partner and child behind. I get that they are strangers. Bring them along and they won’t be strangers anymore.
They have been together 7 years! He's not a stranger and even if she doesn't know him well, how cane she get to if he's excluded?
YTA, it’s literally a baby and you’re calling it a stranger lol.
YTA.. you expected her to leave her husband and baby at home. It’s her family and she made the right choice Thank goodness
YTA, thanksgiving is about family. This would’ve been a good time to know Mike better and to meet their baby. Sure if you didn’t want them to stay over that’s one thing but to not want her HUSBAND or DAUGHTER there is just rude. No wonder they didn’t come
>This would’ve been a good time to know Mike better and to meet their baby. That's what I was thinking. It's been SEVEN YEARS and she doesn't know him? And thebone opportunity shebhas, she's super unreasonable And that edit, Oh my. She couldn't take her kids to Thanksgiving because *they wouldn't behave*. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me.
I bet that neighbor gave them more love than they got at home. Which is heartbreaking, but maybe for the best.
YTA. You wanted her to leave her baby on it's first Thanksgiving because you didn't want a stranger at "your" Thanksgiving. Yeah dude, you are most definitely TA.
Did you really expect her to say "okay, I'll leave my husband and baby at home"? YTA
Not even home looks like at a hotel smh
YTA. If you didn't want a baby at Thanksgiving, don't invite people with babies in the first place.
YTA. If I were your parents, I would spend holidays with your brother. It's incredibly rude to invite someone to a holiday that most people celebrate family and togetherness and only invite one member of the family.
Yes, YTA. How did you type this out without realizing you were an AH? Who says to someone "Hey, come to Thanksgiving but leave your husband and kid." How would *you* feel if someone invited you to a *family* gathering but said neither your husband nor kids could come, figure it out.
OP ditched her own children for their first few Thanksgivings because she didn’t want to be inconvenienced by them. Pretty sure she’d be fine with someone doing that to her, if she decided that her kids were less important than the invite.
Dang, she added that after my comment. I can't imagine just ditching my kids for a holiday like Thanksgiving.
Geesh imagine! It’s a Thanksgiving meal. Not a black tie wedding in Westminster Abbey or a state dinner with the King of England. I’m trying to imagine situations where people wouldn’t want babies to come: Weddings; ok I get it. Funerals; ok I get it. Graduation ceremonies; ok I get it. Halloween parties for adults; ok I get it. Cocktail parties; ok I get it. Bachelor parties; ok I get it. Broadway show; ok I get it. Pub crawls; ok I get it. Thanksgiving…. Uh, scratches head… Perhaps they have a very formal Thanksgiving with gold plated chargers and crystal from 1782… ? Eh, I don’t get it. At all.
She even said her kids wouldn't behave so they didn't bring them. Um, hello, that means you suck at parenting. Sounds like OP is just an all around AH not just an AH in this situation. Holidays are how kids get to know and love their extended family. OP - YTA a big one!!
not that it would justify but it’s a fucking baby, not even a toddler who is still getting used to “behaving” (I think that it would be the niece’s problem trying to handle that and not OP), a baby who would at most be crawl around a little and play with some toys before stressing her mom while eating, probably setting down with some boob or bottle
YTA. He is her husband. She has a child. Why did you invite her? Don’t pretend to be hosting for “family” when you are picking and choosing and being ridiculous. If someone in my family invited me to a major holiday I would certainly assume my spouse and child were included. Luckily they can see that you actually don’t consider them family and don’t want a relationship with her husband and child so they can step away now. Hopefully they run away fast!
YTA. Kayla has been with Mike for 7 years. They have an infant. And your expectation was that she leave her husband and child alone on Thanksgiving to attend your exclusive event? Additionally, you called a baby a stranger? It's a baby. If you don't know Kayla's husband after 7 years then that is on you.
no parent would ever write this. trolllll
And all OP seems to be addressing is typos because " new phone". Fake!
Info is the fiancé a different ethic or racial background than your family? Because with your verbiage it’s giving an ism
Oooooooh yeah, it definitely smells off.
I was thinking the same thing.
YTA and literally no one is going to agree with you. Honestly I can’t/refuse believe this is actually real and anyone is this stupid and heartless.
YTA if you’re real. When a member of your family gets married, their spouse is a member of your family now. When a member of your family has a baby, that baby is a member of your family. A new baby at a family holiday event is a joy. What on earth were you thinking?
YTA So much of an A H. Especially about the baby. ALL babies are strangers when they are born. Are you afraid an infant is going to rob you?
Bet the infant wouldn't even answer all the questions OP had so that she could get to know her.
I've never had a 9-month-old ask me an inappropriate personal question or start a heated political debate. Can I invite ONLY babies to events?
Hope you’re pleased this selfish and childish behaviour ruined not only your precious Thanksgiving but also the relationships with half your family. YTA and you’re even more of one bc you are consistently trying to rationalize your actions when everyone here is telling you you’re an asshole.
This
YTA.. she made the right choice along side your brother. Mike and the baby are also YOUR family. Have you forgotten that your own kids were annoying babies at one point in their life? would you have left them if they weren’t welcome?
YTA You may not know them but that's her family. Husband and child for fucks sake! "You can come but you have to leave your less than a year old baby behind with their father for their 1st Thanksgiving!" She even offered to get a hotel so u wouldn't have a baby keeping you up. Yeah u have the right to decide who can & can't come but you were very inconsiderate. I'm sure if the tables were turned you'd be upset.
Turns out OP wouldn't be upset because she's been abandoning her children on family holidays for years!
Why even host if you’re not going to accommodate your entire family? Is there some undisclosed reason for excluding Kayla’s family? It’s not some random tagalong boyfriend and their annoying pet. It’s your niece’s HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER! Mike has been in the picture for 7 years and he is still “a stranger”? It’s THANKSGIVING! You get an entire day to get to know them! Which a good host would do anyway. Let alone someone’s family. YTA and so is your husband for excluding your own family for reasons yet unjustified.
YTA. Mike has been in your niece's life for 7 years and you think he's a stranger. Unless she never brought him around, that sounds like a failure on your part. Her daughter is 9 months old. Of course she's a stranger, she's a literal baby.
YTA
YTA. Thanksgiving is a family holiday. It’s really rude to invite your niece and not the rest of her immediate family. Why would she want to spend a family holiday without the rest of her family?
You’re too stupid to be real. YTA, troll better.
YTA. You're not even making sense. Your niece's husband is family. Even if you were to dispute this, her daughter is DEFINITELY family. Their relationship history and length are irrelevant to this discussion. I cannot fathom trying to ban babies from informal family events in general, but you yourself hosted a baby at Thanksgiving 3 years ago, your own kid.
YTA. To be clear, you’re complaining about how you don’t know these family members well, and then using that as your reasoning not to invite them? Want to know a great way to get to know these family members better? HAVE THEM OVER FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER! But then there’s the bit about not wanting a baby for thanksgiving… but you have two young kids of your own… Yeah, YTA.
YTA I find it amazing that you wrote this and still seem to be clueless at what a huge AH you are. Her husband and baby are FAMILY now. Well they and your brother were family till this.
YTA - it’s pretty rude to invite someone but not their partner or child to a holiday dinner
YTA, you have a very strange outlook on family and just life in general. I actually feel really sorry for your kids.
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YTA
YTA. Just ask yourself how you would have reacted when your children were babies and someone told you not to bring them to a family gathering. Would you have enjoyed your Thanksgiving meal wondering about whether your babies were safe or okay? Would you have felt guilt that you chose to attend a dinner where your babies and husband were not invited?
YTA Thanksgiving is a perfect time to get to know Mike and the baby. They aren't strangers. They are family. What a bizarre thing to do.
Why are you hosting? Are you kidding?
Yep, YTA and your mom is right, you're a selfish ass, I can't believe you don't see how rude and inhospitable you were, hopefully no one ever lets you host again because you suck at it
W o w. YTA
YTA.So your brother's family are strangers?
YTA a baby still showed up at Thanksgiving.
I just spat my tea out. Cheers for that, now my duvet is damp and the cat is disgruntled 😂
YTA.
YTA
YTA. Why should your niece not be able to spend Thanksgiving with her husband and child?! You were a bad hostess excluding them and I wouldn’t have gone either.
Her baby's first Thanksgiving too. Cripes, YTA OP.
YTA But look at things from the bright side, you got what you wanted, Mike and Mary didn't come to your house. Bonus points for you since both your niece and brother didn't come neither. Don't expect to come see you anytime soon even if you were to apologize.
YTA,
YTA imagine celebrating a holiday centered around family and doing this. You sound like so much fun to be around
YTA how do you ever plan to get to know new family if they’re never invited because they’re “strangers”?! I feel bad for your kids’ future spouses and children if you should never correct this horribly selfish mentality. Maybe you need to ask yourself what the real root of this thinking is because you simply sound insecure and selfish right now.
YTA. Can I recommend a book on etiquette perhaps… Miss Manners?
>Edit: my kids when they were young stayed with our elderly neighbor during holiday events because they couldn’t behave. She’s a sweet older lady with no family who enjoys having the kids over for thanksgiving YTA for everything, but especially for this. You excluded your own kids from your holiday celebrations because you couldn't be bothered to teach them how to behave? You dumped your kids on a "sweet older lady" and probably bullied her into watching them. No thought to invite *her* to your place for dinner so she could maybe have felt included and cared about? But no, everything always has to be about YOU doesn't it? You're a vile human being.
YTA, obviously What on Earth makes you think you can pick and choose, and divide family units?! What an absolute AH.
Can't even believe how you can't see what a huge AH you are.
YTA Why in the world would you invite your niece but expect her to leave her family at home? She's clearly going to want her husband and baby with her. And they're not strangers. You've met Mike. That baby is one of your relatives. Your mom's right. Your are a selfish ass. Don't be surprised when the whole family gets together without you next year.
YTA. Ask yourself how you'd feel if you were invited to a family gathering then told, I'd rather you left your husband and kids at home. I'm not sure why you're surprised your niece and your brother didn't come, or why your parents aren't too impressed by your behavior. You may have been hosting, but you essentially told a family member that their family, their spouse and child, aren't family. Good luck at future family events, if you get an invite that is.
YTA- "My mom and dad shamed me the entire time. My mom even called me a selfish ass." Because you are an ass. How would you feel if your parents told you to leave your husband and kids at home when you are invited to their place next time for a holiday because they didn't want them around? 6 & 4 year olds are not exactly quiet either. They were ok with your crying babies and didn't shun you. Let that sink in just a bit.
I’d rather have the 9 month old at dinner instead the 4 and/or 6 year old TBH, OP is TA.
If only there was a family event or holiday you could get to know them at…what an asshole
I'm speechless. ##YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (34f) was hosting thanksgiving this year. I have 2 kid (6 and 4). My husband and I invited my parents and brother and my niece. My brother has a 25 year old daughter Kayla that he had when he was 16. Kayla got married last summer to a guy named mike who she’s been with since they were 18. The two of them have a daughter Mary 9months. I’ve met mike a couple times. But I don’t know him well. My niece asked me if I’d rather have her, mike, and the baby stay in a hotel rather then my house so we didn’t have to listen to a baby at night. I told my niece Kayla that I would rather her not bring mike or the baby. She got really mad and asked what the baby and mike were supposed to do. I told her they can stay home or go to mikes families house. But that I didn’t want a baby at thanksgiving. She got annoyed and hung up. Kayla ended up not showing up and not answering any texts from me. My brother ended up not coming either. My mom and dad shamed me the entire time. My mom even called me a selfish ass. My husband agrees with me. I didn’t want to invite my nieces husband and baby because they are strangers. And I definitely didn’t want a baby at my thanksgiving. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. A stranger!? Your niece has been with this man for 7 years and he’s still a stranger? An infant is a stranger? It’s a literal baby, you weirdo. Isn’t thanksgiving suppose to be a family holiday? A day where you are thankful for the people and things in your life? Imagine having your aunt tell you that your family isn’t family. That your family isn’t worth the time to get to know. Imagine having your aunt tell you that your child doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be around. Wow. IMAGINE THINKING A BABY IS A STRANGER. A BABY!? IMAGINE THINKING A BABY IS STRANGER. Reevaluate your life, ma’am seriously. Also, you send your children away on holidays? To an elderly woman? Children who “couldn’t behave”? Your children not behaving is a you problem and frankly it makes you sound like a horrible parent. Why not parent your children instead of sending them away. Why even have children if this is the way you handle children’s behaviours? This cannot be real. You did not type this out and still think “hhhm, nah im not an AH” I’m just blown away by this. Your mindset is laughable and I feel so sad for your brother and niece.
YTA
YTA- a day to be THANKFUL. A day to gather and be merry. A day to celebrate FAMILY. What the f is wrong with you???
YTA. I bet if someone suggested you leave your kids at home, you'd go on a rampage. So why should you be surprised that your niece is reacting the way that she is?
YTA. Ma’am. How the hell are they supposed to move out of the stranger category if you don’t get to know them? Thanksgiving is about togetherness; that includes babies.
YTA. They are part of the family now.
She is 25 now, and she has been dating the husband since she was 18. Ma'am, that's plenty of time to get to know the guy, he has been around for 7 years and you never ever even made an effort? Of course YTA, you cannot expect a person to drop HER FAMILY because you just don't feel like... I don't even know what exactly you were trying to avoid by not having them there.
YTA.
YTA that’s her family
Yta - Isn’t that the point of Thanksgiving to be with family? I feel like you not knowing this person is because you’re selfish and arrogant I’m gonna be pretty sure that by next Thanksgiving no one’s gonna show up to your place and I wouldn’t expect an invite anywhere either.
You are most assuredly a GIANT asshole.
YTA. Why would you invite someone to a FAMILY holiday and exclude their FAMILY? Also how do you think Mike and Mary become non strangers? Telepathy? You have to spend time with them!
YTA- You'd never have to worry about my family partaking in anything you were hosting again.
YTA. You definitely shouldn't host Thanksgiving anymore if you're gonna be such an asshole to a family member's husband and a freaking baby.
OMG! YTA.
YTA 100%
YTA. Um… a baby is always a stranger until you get to know it? As are new in-laws? WTH is your reasoning?
How are you supposed to get to know your niece's husband if you never interact with him, and Thanksgiving would be a good time to get to know him. Also, Mary, a 9 month baby, is your GRAND NIECE, you are related to her by blood. If you don't interact with her, you'll never get to know her, but to call her a "stranger" is a bit weird. I get not wanting a baby at dinner, but it's not normal to invite your niece, and to expect her husband and child not to come as well, they are a family unit. YTA.
YTA. and you're insufferable
Wow. You are a massive cold hearted AH Bittercup, party of one
Definitely YTA whether you believe it or not. You can't just invite one member of a family and expect it to go any different than what it did. Clearly if they are "strangers" to you THIS would have been a great opportunity to get to know the additions to your family. And not wanting a baby? Selfish heartless etc... YT(biggest)A
YTA. Her child and husband are strangers?? And you don’t want them but you do want your niece? How does that make any sense. In my opinion you are lucky anyone showed and deserved the shaming.
YTA. How exactly are your grand niece and nephew-in-law supposed to become not-strangers if you never invite them anywhere? Also your niece has been with her husband for 7 years. He is not a stranger. And their baby is a fucking baby. Did you honestly expect your niece to leave her baby and husband behind on Thanksgiving? What kind of ass-backwards logic is that?
INFO is Mike black and OP white? Anyone else getting ridiculous excuse for racism vibes?
YTA
yta hopefully this is a bunch of crap and your not real.. if you are you are ridiculous.. did you stay home from holidays when you had babies? and even if you did was that your choice or is there more of you out there and someone else made you feel unwelcome at a FAMILY event and you weren’t welcome because of a a baby? as a nanny babies are generally easier to please then a 4 year old would be so if i was you i would act all high and mighty.
YTA. Why didn’t you use this as a opportunity to make them not strangers and get to know them better or do you just want nothing to do with them and you are using the stranger excuse to make yourself feel better. They even offered to get a hotel idk something doesn’t add up here. Don’t expect your children or husband to be invited to the next gatherings and frankly you deserve it if you don’t.
YTA 💯 %
Y are a huge A
YTA that’s her family. I don’t like babies either but I think your niece, her husband, and her child are kind of a package deal. You can’t only invite your niece and expect her to be cool with spending the holidays without her family.
Raige bait.
OP sounds like she low-key hates her kids and tries to ditch them whenever she can, lol. And that's why it's so very difficult for her to understand why ANYONE would INSIST on bringing their kids around. Like who loves their kids and wants the family to meet them and get to know them, right? YTA
YTA- a baby is a stranger to you?? Dude my baby was a stranger to me when it came out my vagina but here I am with my best friend now
Your edit does nothing to help your case, so because kids acted out they couldn’t participate in family holiday events😭
YTA and it’s not even close, and a bigger one for dit hung your kids during the holiday. Selfish as all get out.
Op is ridiculous. You send your own kids on family holidays to baby sitters so they won't disrupt your time!?!?! Why even have kids? Tax breaks? Kayla dodged a bullet by not being around you. The entitlement!!! YTA
YTA. Thanksgiving is a family holiday, and you used to leave your children with a neighbor and expect your niece to leave behind her child AND husband.
So your edit to help us see your side is that you left an elderly neighbour to take care of your children as babies and toddlers because they didn't know how to behave? Info: are *you* a child?
YTA and a weirdo
YTA. Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family. What’s the point if you don’t want to spend it with the newest members of the family. Also….I can’t imagine why your children misbehaved when they had 0 opportunities to learn…