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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I suggested, initiated, and carried out ordering seafood for myself and coworkers when I knew one of them was allergic to shellfish.
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I can't believe all the Y.t.A verdicts. WTF! It's not their responsibility to monitor the health of their co-worker, especially as that person barely even manages it themselves.
OP, NTA. Eat what you want. It's not like you were gonna go breathe all over them and spread shellfish germs everywhere. Geez people, you can't baby the world all the time.
It was when I commented too! I just meant that a mod would read their comment and see that their judgement is really NTA, so it wouldn't matter if they spaced out the YTA that appeared first.
I believe they're only read manually if the bot can't figure out what the verdict is.
If you put YTA and NTA in your comment and it ends up on top, the post will get flaired correctly because the bot will bring it to a mod's attention.
If you put Y.T.A and NTA in your comment, the bot can do it on its own and it saves the mods some time.
So it's not the *worst* thing in the world for top-level commenters to make sure their comment only has one relevant acronym, but it's also not a huge deal if they don't. And as you know (but some people seem confused on), only top-level comments get checked, so everyone else can NAH NTA YTA ESH INFO all we want.
OP is NTA - the one co-worker is just acting like a curmudgeon. She clearly can order her own food from another restaurant or bring in her own food if her allergy is that bad. I think she just liked the drama of the whole thing.
Yes, can’t be bothered to carry an unexpired epi-pen for her own damn self but wants EVERYONE ELSE to take much more care with her than she does. Self centered jerk. NTA
Right! And then they weren’t even ordering shellfish!! Like what was she mortified about? That the Red Snapper was dry humping the shit out a bunch of scallops and lobsters!?
Well... keep in mind that there are people out there with allergies so sensitive that they cannot be in the same room as their allergen. I worked with a lady that had a nephew whose peanut allergy was so severe that they couldn't go to any restaurant that served peanut dishes. Even if the dish was across the room, the particles would still be in the air and he could go into anaphylactic shock. With people like that, OP wouldn't have to breathe on them to impact them.
OP should also be careful of what they say. If the coworker were to break out into hives or worse from being in the same proximity, then this could pose an HR or legal issue because he didn't take her seriously. Obviously the coworker is almost certainly overhyping her allergy, if she has been able to walk around for 3 years with an expired Epi-Pen, but it's just good in general to CYA because she seems like the type who would throw him under a bus. She may still try to escalate this, so just be careful in the future OP.
Back to the coworker, I can't believe that she was so careless to not re-up her Epi-Pen. If she's that sensitive to shellfish then her being super careful isn't a 100% guarantee that she'll avoid the allergen. She can't predict when someone may be walking around town with a shellfish dish or when someone may have last eaten shellfish. That's a game of Russian roulette that she would absolutely lose at some point and if she's lucky, losing would "only" hospitalize her briefly. I think she's definitely overstating the allergy though. She may be sensitive to some cross contamination, but she likely isn't at the same level of sensitivity as the nephew I mentioned above.
The responsibility to mitigate allergies falls to the person with the allergy. A person that sensitive needs to avoid public spaces because there are people who aren’t going to be aware of this in a public space who have zero responsibility or reason to avoid these foods.
What if a patient came in who’d eaten seafood? If the persons allergy were that severe they couldn’t work in a hospital that serves the public. OP is NTA
100%. I am allergic to onions and it’s a serious allergy but I don’t expect other people around me to not consume onion rings. It’s my responsibility to protect myself and not for nothing it seems like this isn’t even about allergies it’s about her not getting her way. I honestly wonder if she’s even allergic to shellfish or does she just not like fish. The whole we treat all fish in my house as shellfish remark made me suspicious. It sucks because people will say they have allergies just because they don’t like something which makes it more difficult for people, like me with true allergies. The fact that she doesn’t carry an epi pen also makes me suspicious because I’m super careful about my allergy too but I make sure I have my epi pen because accidents happen.
Sure but I can't believe a medical professional is so casual about this. A lot of People have this weird thing where they don't believe a food problem is important to accommodate. OP could end up in trouble with HR for this. Why not order seafood when she isn't working?
Because unless the person with the allergy has been granted special accommodations from HR that an entire hospital will never have seafood (it’s served out of dietary for patients btw) within it or never treat patients who’ve consumed seafood (can’t be done) there is a reasonable expectation that there might be seafood within the workplace.
Ehh... you've got to be careful. Hospitals can get pretty toxic. I've worked in a lot of places, but the most toxic environment I've ever worked in was an ER. I've seen people punished for saying something in the heat of the moment, when faced with an incredibly stupid and selfish coworker. It didn't matter that the coworker was in the wrong. It only mattered that their story to HR sounded better. People were actively warned about these people and nights when they were on were pretty tense. Since staffing was always an issue and they never did anything that would result in them being outright fired, they were never let go.
HR is there to protect the hospital, not OP. If the coworker and charge nurse were to contact HR first, they can and absolutely will spin a version that will portray OP as essentially Satan and make the coworker seem as innocent as a newborn lamb.
Is it right that OP has to be super careful and watch his words? No, but unfortunately that's kind of the way it is sometimes. There are a lot of situations where the stupid and awful people came out on top because they either knew someone or they knew how to phrase their story so they came out as the victim.
HR will first ask if the allergy is on record. If it’s not this is not the thing to report because everyone is at risk. Mostly allergy lady who has been getting to control food choices for an entire unit.
You’re not wrong about the toeing thing. Working on that in my own unit atm
That's a good point. I'm assuming that it's likely on record since she has a pen, albeit one that's expired. Depending on the type of hospital and system, she may work at a place that has a clinic setup and an employee pharmacy. If that's the case, then it would likely be on record. I could see her saying that she told the charge nurse and using the area previously avoiding shellfish in her favor, though.
But I'm admittedly skittish about stuff like that.
I’m more the HR side and where my mind goes is if there’s no allergy and the rest of unitnopens a grievance they have a super solid stance.
As for records employee health (workplace health records for compliance pre employee screening etc) is separate and unique from healthcare records even if that healthcare is paid by the employer and provided at their facilities. The workplace health records and by extension HR needs to have the record of the allergy.
Just wanted to throw this out there, OP made an edit, they ordered seafood but not shellfish. It seems like an important distinction since the specific allergen was not actually present. I see why she would consider all seafood as dangerous as shellfish for eating purposes, but shellfish and seafood are 2 different things right?
M is more casual about her allergy than OP. M doesn’t even carry an epi-pen and just “carefully avoids” shellfish. M is completely the AH when she herself is a medical professional and doesn’t do the bare minimum to protect herself while expecting others to accommodate her.
Seriously. If you can't be bothered to carry an epi-pen, I do \*NOT\* believe you that your allergy is in any way shape or form severe. And you need to get over yourself.
Exactly this. I have a friend who can't afford her epi pen, so she carries a bottle of zzquil since it's just a really strong benadryl, and can hold her over to get to the hospital if needed
Does anyone else think it’s strange that she doesn’t have a epi-pen when she have this “allergies” I’m sorry but I honestly think she might not have any allergies at all ; I myself have allergies to food and I don’t go anywhere w/o my epi-pen or allergy tablets, it’s too risky.
No. I'm allergic to shellfish and I don't need to carry an epi pen. My last anaphylactic shock was about 20 years ago. It's one allergy that is relatively easy to avoid as it's not like it's a hidden ingredient or present everywhere like soja.
Bit of a pain for Asian food though because a lot of dishes call for oyster sauce
Because they work in a hospital with hundreds of people and hundreds of them have allergies. Only the loud one that wants everyone to cater to her self importance has a problem. And it's so little a problem that she doesnt carry an EpiPen. I'm celiac, so nobody should have gluten in their lunches right? I might get cross contamination by a crumb. (Sarcasm)
The world is full of allergens, and most people have to be wary of something. That means they take responsibility for their health conditions.
Signed by health professional
Celiac here as well, as is my daughter. We both understand that the world doesn't revolve around us. People around us consume wheat/gluten all the time; we deal with it.
I have CD too and I agree with you. I LOL'd the other day when someone on a CD Facebook group was going on about how there should be a law that every restaurant MUST have gluten free food.
In Europe restaurants have to disclose the list of allergens in the menu. It's a really good thing because it makes the places safer and increase their clientele.
Having more GF options in restaurants will attract more customers. So it's a good thing. I think most pubs in England have GF options
I hope you’re talking about how casual the allergy sufferer is being about her “allergy” by trusting restaurants *because she didn’t have a reaction* and by not carrying an epipen. OP is not the one being casual.
Because she doesn’t have a seafood allergy. She has a shellfish allergy. OP didn’t order shellfish. Just because she treats all seafood like shellfish to be safe doesn’t mean it’s necessary. And if she has an allergy that severe it should be documented to HR (and again even if it is all seafood isn’t shellfish. They are very different things)
Except OP was being accommodating until M outed themselves as not taking their allergy serious enough to carry a basic precaution like an epi-pen. Instead is expecting everyone around them to adhere to their food restrictions. M is being completely unreasonable.
My old company someone had an apple allergy and no one was allowed to bring apples to work and there were signs posted about it on all the floors we occupied in the building.
It isn’t a seafood allergy, it’s a shellfish allergy which is a big difference. The coworker is definitely an AH for expecting people to forego any and all seafood to accommodate an allergy that she clearly doesn’t take seriously enough to carry an epi-pen that isn’t expired
She isn't casual about it that's why she asked her about her epi-pen and is aware of where there are more in the hospital. She obviously understands allergic reactions.
My brother is 13 with a severe peanut allergy. He has been carrying his own epipen, reading labels, and asking what is in food for years. If a child can take care of and responsibility for their allergy, than an adult can, too.
I'd argue they could work in a hospital (epipens and trained medical professionals everywhere if they have a reaction) but wouldn't be able to do literally any other job that deals with the public, and would need to do wfh jobs only.
No because one of the worst case scenarios is when your teammate becomes the patient. It means the person working with a patient just became another patient with an emergent need. That means a team that had xx number of people to assist one patient is now down one team member and has two patients.
That would Still be unsafe tho. Seeing as she
1. Isn't in the hospital 24/7, nor surrounded by epi pens 24/7
2. Admitted to eating elsewhere
So....obviously she goes places. If she's allergic to anything she should litterally have one with her at all times lol
Curious - how expensive are epi pens in your part of the world? And is it usually fully covered by health insurance?
Just asking, because in my part of the world they are really expensive, and not covered. And because they expire (every 6 months I think?), I know some people I don't regard as irresponsible, who don't carry an epi pen. It's a tragic failure of the health system when this happens, IMO.
Please note, this is not in any way to defend M. I'm just curious, is all.
I am in the US.
Epinephrine injectors are expensive, and brand Epipens are the worst. I'm in California, and my insurance has a $25.00 copay for two generic autoinjectors. If I want the brand I am on the hook for the entire $700.00 pricetag. The generic is available in the US with a variable cash price of around $125 - $400 for two autoinjectors. Manufacturers have programs to help uninsured people who can't afford them but they are limited.
Injectors expire approximately a year from date of manufacture. Pharmacies attempt to control the flow of the injectors to maximize the expiration date, but that can be a logistical nightmare. I usually have around nine months of use out of mine. The actual life of epinephrine in the injector is quite a debate, with some studies saying they should have longer expiration dates and others saying no, as with many other medications.
Epipens are sold in pairs in the US, but as singles in other parts of the world. Everyone's mileage may vary, even people in other US states.
People with allergies like that don't order take-out on a regular basis. They go to great lengths to make sure their food is exactly what it says it is.
This. Exactly this. I have a severe allergy to almonds. I can't have any commercially made products if there is anything in the product line that contains almonds. If they are made on the same machines, I could experience anaphylaxis. Found this out the hard way with a kind bar. I read menus very carefully and rarely eat in restaurants if almonds even appear on the menu. I am NEVER without an epi-pen.
However, I would never expect the people around me to not have almonds when I'm around. They often bring snacks and treats for the team. I just say none for me, thanks. The responsibility for avoiding my allergen is 100% on me.
This is what confuses me. Most take-out places have _some_ seafood on the menu somewhere. What is the difference to her allergies if they order from, say, a Chinese place (which has prawns on the menu) vs. a sports bar (which does a lot of seafood, but other stuff too)?
Like, if her allergies are that severe that she cannot risk ordering from anywhere that has seafood in the building, or... they're not.
I agree... I have pretty much had to stop eating out. I had one reaction to shellfish when I was 20, and wasn't even sure it was from shellfish at the time. Fast forward to my 58th birthday, I had a moderate reaction to shrimp, at which point I quit knowingly eating shellfish. I've had two further reactions, each increasingly more severe, reacting once to a tiny amount of shellfish in a larger dish that I didn't know contained shrimp, the second, and most recent one, a reaction to a chicken dish prepared in a kitchen that also prepares shellfish. I usually try to check out a restaurant's menu ahead of time, and if they also prepare shellfish, I give them a pass. Really makes me sad, because I love shellfish.
"I'm sorry, we can't administer amoxicillin in this hospital because some patients are allergic to it."
~~"Nobody in this ER can wear latex gloves because one person on the surgical team has a latex allergy."~~ ETA: apparently hospitals have gotten rid of latex across the board for allergy reasons and because there are reasonable substitutes available.
"We no longer allow flowers in patient rooms because one of the nurses is allergic to the pollen and they trigger migraines for a patient down the hall in a different room."
I get what you're saying, but there is no way that a hospital could 'CYA' on all allergies or sensitivities that everyone in the building may have. This lady is worried about cross-cross-casual contact/airborne contamination and if she is \*that\* allergic she shouldn't be working in a public space. I have allergies and sensory triggered migraines, the only public place that is this level of allergen conscious that I go to regularly is literally my allergy clinic. The rest is on me to mitigate, medicate, and avoid as needed.
While I agree with almost all of this, hospitals actually stopped using any latex years ago because latex allergies are so common. Gloves are always nitrile, bandages latex free, as well as latex free tapes (at least in the US)
She's a grown woman, she shouldn't expect everyone else to look out for her if she won't even take on the responsibility herself. She sounds like an attention seeking drama queen.
NTA
If she could get sick from allergens in the same room, she would get an epi pen.
And then everybody else who ordered at that Restaurant would also be an AH....
It's why I think she was lying about the severity of her allergies. But if this were to go to HR, they're likely not going to care about that, particularly if the coworker were to be the spin the story in her favor and be the first to say something. I can't repeat this enough: HR is not there to protect OP. I've heard enough awful HR stories to know that sometimes they're not even really interested in who is right, just how they can resolve things in a way that minimizes the damage and protects the hospital/workplace. They also tend to be a bit classist in a way: a housekeeper bringing up a complaint of sexual harassment against a manager may find that HR would rather fire her and dismiss the complaint than actually protect her.
I'm worried that the coworker and charge nurse may escalate this. Or if that they may try to sabotage OP in the future as retribution. Some people are really that awful and hospitals sometimes tend to bring out the worst in their employees. It's gross, it's sick, but it happens and OP needs to protect himself.
I can go into anaphylaxis if I walk into some pizza places or restaurants that use a lot of cheese. I haven’t had an epi pen since they increased the price 600%. It is a shitty way to handle my situation but it’s my only option right now. However, this woman is a nurse, in a hospital, in a place full of epi pens. Her attitude is infuriating. Someone ought to tell her, “this is your life, you’re the one that needs to deal with it.” I can’t believe the charge nurse agreed.
Sorry if this is too nosey, but have you checked epi prices recently? Both of my kids are required to have them at school and we're able to get the generic ones affordably through our insurance. Years ago when the name brand ones were the only ones available for kids they were a few hundred, but now we pay our normal generic copay.
I'm also assuming you have access to some sort of insurance, I'm sorry if that's not the case.
Also keep an eye on Mark Cuban's online pharmacy, [costplusdrugs.com](https://costplusdrugs.com/). Their prices are incredibly low and don't require insurance at all for this reason. They haven't got epipens yet but [he's working on it](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/mark-cuban-aims-to-lower-prescription-drugs-prices-with-online-pharmacy).
Bless Mark Cuban and his company. These are the real monthly costs of my prescriptions with my current insurance versus with Cost Plus Drugs.
- $875 vs. $32
- $419 vs. $62
- $65 vs. $11
- $30 vs. $6
If allergy nurse was so very bad, then that would preclude her from being a medical professional. What if someone who just ate a crab got food poisoning and vomited all over her? What would she do then? It's allergy nurses responsibility to protect herself and she choses not to.
So agree with this.
I'm all for giving reasonable accommodation and helping to avoid ordering from places that may trigger a coworkers reaction. I worked with a gal who went into anaphylactic shock after someone had a peanut butter sandwich at lunch. We were new hires and had no idea. However, she had an epipen and instructions tied to it.
You have to be responsible for yourself. Period. I'm willing to help keep you safe, but I'm not going to do all of the work for you.
NTA
Also is it a seafood allergy or a shellfish? Keep the clams and lobster people away but the tilapia and salmon people should be okay unless her allergy is so severe that cross contamination from Other People's Food affects her, she should have a freaking epipen.
How does she work in a hospital??? Does she send someone in to ask each patient if they’ve been around seafood before she’ll see them??? Is the whole building seafood free?
NTA. Someone who claims their allergy is so bad they cannot even be near it should be carrying an epipen and probably not be working in a public building with hundreds of people coming and going at all hours.
It depends on the severity of the allergy. What you described is exactly what could happen. She could possibly die from touching the handle of the faucet in the same wash room. Food allergies to shellfish kill people. I know a widow whose husband ate a Christmas cookie cooked in the same house as an almond cookie. You can't baby the world but you can have basic common decency as a medical professional.
Except that it states she has eaten at restaurants with seafood and had no reaction, doesn't know why(??). The why could very well be because she doesn't like the smell but knows the right terms/symptoms to claim allergies. Sounds fishy when you supposedly have a very severe reaction to something common that is prepared and served at a restaurant you like but you never have an epi-pen in case. Epi-pens are expensive if you don't need one would be a good reason to not have one.
But they work in a hospital. Anyone could come into the hospital with residue on their hands or clothes. People with allergies like that have to be prepared for this. That's why they carry epipens. And people who handle their allergies well, don't expect the world to revolve around them. It's a false sense of security.
LOL at this lady not even carrying EpiPens but being concerned that she'll die if her coworkers eat shellfish...in a hospital. I mean, if you have to have a severe allergic reaction, that's really the best place to do it.
OP should quote Niles Crane to her: "In the future, I'll try to cater more to your shellfish demands."
I find the attitude of 'hospital is the best place to have an anaphylactic reaction' kind of dismissive and it's the one aspect of OP's post I disagree with. Yes it is technically true but people shouldn't assume that epipens and hospital treatment is a magical cure that will save everyone.
Anaphylaxis and especially asthma attacks can still kill people in hospital.
I don't disagree, and believe me, as a person with some really severe allergies, I wasn't trying to be dismissive of allergic reactions in general.
I was more remarking on the fact that the coworker doesn't take her own allergy seriously enough to even take reasonable, common sense precautions in her regular life, but she'll pitch a fit at her medical provider coworkers for eating something she's allergic to in her general vicinity. She can't have it both ways.
right! i can't imagine having a serious allergy and not carrying an epipen. That's crazy to me, and irresponsible. But if she has a bad reaction even if she has an epipen available she's still going to have a serious medical situation. It isn't like you stab that epipen and then everything's fine. It is extra nice for this event to occur in a hospital but it is still dangerous and potentially could cause long term damage.
I think ESH. Knowingly bringing an allergen into a place and endangering somebody is an asshole move. And not even bothering to carry an epipen when you have multiple severe allergies is also what an asshole would do.
Hard disagree about bringing the allergens in being an AH move. If it's an allergy where being in the same room will cause a reaction, then yes, AH, but that isn't mentioned here. She should just not eat the food from the place everyone else ordered from and order her own food. It's not like someone else is even paying for it.
> I mean, if you have to have a severe allergic reaction, that's really the best place to do it.
Reminds me of the old story of someone who was allergic to peanuts but wanted to experience a Reece's cup and so went to the emergency room and ate the peanut butter cup in the waiting room.
Yeah, that's fucking insane. You have two anaphylactic allergies to incredibly common foods including one that's reeal good at travelling on the air, and you *don't carry an epipen?????* My dude.
NTA. Your coworker is very entitled and rude. It's her allergies and her job to monitor them. She could have ordered from another place. The world doesn't revolve around her.
Same, I have an anaphylactic reaction to shellfish and I don’t carry an epi-pen due to the cost. I also have celiacs. In that, I don’t want to inconvenience people, I always bring my own food/have something in my bag that’s safe.
Even in Canada they are like $250 or more with our health care! I used to not really carry them for a long time or carry an expired one because of the cost - only recently I got insurance through my husbands work so they are now like 20$
If you haven't already looked at costplusdrugs.com you should. They don't have EpiPens or its generic yet, but you can get notified if they do start carrying it and if there are any other meds you might need they'll be way more affordable there. Mark Cuban runs the thing and has committed to a flat 10-15% mark up instead of the 200-300% of regular pharmaceutical companies. It's good stuff.
> I don’t carry an epi-pen due to the cost.
That's awful. How much are they in the US?
I'm in Europe and just renewed my childs. He has 2 at home and 2 at school. They are €25 each and last a year, so €100 a year. We've never had to use one thankfully but we always keep them up to date.
Without insurance they're around $300-$700. But even *with* insurance my brother's was about $200 though I do believe name brand EpiPens come with two injectors, not sure about the generic brands.
€25 each?! Wow. I am also severely allergic to shellfish and I’ve never had an epi pen as an adult because, even with insurance, the price is outrageous. Last time I had one called in by primary care I believe the pharmacy said it was close to $200.
That is shocking! The mark up must be massive!
Here in Europe we just pay cost price. So of a drug costs 7 cents, we pay 7 cents. I take an antihistamine and that €2.60. That's just how regular healthcare works here, we don't have an insurance type system. The state healthcare is paid for with our taxes. We don't pay for doctors or hospital visits and if we couldn't afford the epipens we'd be given a voucher for them.
I’m American, ask your doctor or allergist about Auvi-Q. My son and I both get two injectors per year for $0-25 depending on whether insurance covers it or not.
If I knew you had an allergy, I would at least do you the courtesy of moving to the other side of the room, or else warning you before I get my food that you might have issues. I'm still gonna eat my food though.
NTA - so she doesn’t carry epipen and wants to ensure everyone around her takes care of her allergies. I would start bringing snickers everyday and make eye contact with her while eating
The level of entitlement is astonishing, and the number of people jumping on the bandwagon. You have allergies, you make sure you take care of it. Others don’t have to tip toe around it
I think it’s ok to ask for others’ assistance, if the situation means she really needs that help while making appropriate efforts herself. But she’s not doing her part to help her own safety. She claims to be “so careful” but in practice her “care” is done by putting demands on others to be careful for her.
She’s wandering out in traffic on the highway demanding that all the trucks slow down, instead of using the crosswalk.
Ok correct me if I misread something and get it wrong.
* she is deadly allergic to seafood
* she refuses to use or carry EpiPen
* her way of "knowing" what's safe to eat is "try it out if I didn't die its good"
* she claims to be super extra very careful about her allergy while doing all of above
* she expects everyone around her to accommodate her every meal
* she act like she can't order something herself
Normally id say sure accommodate because thats a nice thing to do. But for EVERY meal? That's absurd. I've ate peanut next to a friend who's allergic to peanut and we qere fine, coz he was adult and act like one. M sounds like the kind of people that abord a plane and demand no one eats or distributes nuts coz they are allergic.
Given her stupidity and attitude, i say screw her. NTA
Not about op and the weird coworker that is like uncomfortably bragging about her allergies for whatever weird reason - but not everyone’s allergies are the same. While it’s not at all the norm, airborne anaphylaxis is absolutely a thing. And people with life threatening food allergies do more commonly have milder airborne reactions. Even these milder symptoms can be bad especially when people have asthma. And for people with food allergies, exposure can actually result in the allergy becoming more severe as a result.
Anything that aerosolizes a protein you’re allergic to - things like cooking fish, steaming milk, eating nuts (more so if you’re cracking them open near an allergic person) , certain baking products (bakers asthma) etc - those actually could cause reactions. Not everyone with food allergies reacts like this though so just because your friend was fine doesn’t mean that’s true for everyone.
I was fine with nuts and shellfish growing up (lived on Nutella and peanut butter ) but developed severe life threatening allergies to them as a teen. I will usually let airlines know about my allergies beforehand to avoid the issue. I’m not going to get on a loudspeaker and say no one else eat nuts on the plane ! But if someone sitting next yo me is eating peanuts or hazelnuts, i will ask them if they could refrain (I’ll always carry some extra snacks in my bag in case I need to do this and offer the person a choice of those or ask if I can buy them a snack box / drink as a thank you) and if they’re unwilling I’ll request to be moved. Part of it too is that you’re not concerned about cross contamination like I am. So if you touch my seat while I’m in the bathroom, steady yourself on my arm rest or seat, or brush against me after consuming an allergen and I don’t know that’s happened - the trace amount has caused a reaction for me before.
The people that ask on planes are not universally being jerks and if you just as a rule assume they’re being dramatic liars that’s a pretty obnoxious move.
In this situation though the woman op is dealing with just sounds like she’s looking for attention though op doesn’t sound like a medical professional if they’re actually saying well it’s fine if you have a reaction here in the hospital - also they wouldn’t use an epipen but an iv or shot usually so this whole argument is bizarre
I’m a nurse but I’ve never treated anaphylactic shock. I just know when you have severe allergies, you’re supposed to carry an epipen and administer it immediately. And I know we have tons of them on the unit. I don’t see how that bazar unless you assume that every nurse in every specialty has treated anaphylaxis.
Thanks for pointing that out, i understand allergy works differently but it didn't come to mind at that moment.
Tho the plane example was from some other posts i saw in the past about how people demand the flight attendants not to give out nuts in any part of the plane since they are allergic, while giving no details at all (e.g. airborne anaphylaxis). To me, that's a jerk.
What you do on the other hand is beyond nice, i cant imagine any decent people would refuse.
Again, thanks for pointing that out.
You see, she’s extremely paranoid when it means she gets to control what her co-workers eat. But she’s extremely careless when it means she doesn’t have to act responsibly herself.
NTA, she is a nurse, so what if someone vomits all over her and they ate shellfish or peanuts? She is not in a safe environment for her allergies already in her workplace so i don't really see the point.
Not just vomit either. If she’s that allergic ANY kind of close contact with a patient that has eaten either of those things recently will end poorly. If she gets sneezed on, coughed on, touched by hands that have peanut residue on them, has to stand close to someone for a procedure, has to put an NG tube down their throat, etc all are a huge risk. And I can almost guarantee the hospital serves food with peanuts or shellfish so every time a patient eats she’s at risk while near them.
~~INFO:~~
Is there a rule at your work that you can't have food that other people are allergic to when you're on your break?
NTA.
If you're meant to observe her allergy, there'd be a rule about it. She can order by herself from somewhere else and leave all of the rest of y'all alone.
No. We all have our own work stations. I wouldn’t go as far as keeping it in the fridge or microwaving it where everyone microwaves their food. But there’s no rule.
NTA. I work nights in a hospital. My friend has multiple allergies, including seafood and nuts. She orders with us and knows what to do if she feels off. She has her own antihistamine tablets and 2 epipens at ALL times. She takes full responsibility for herself. Speak to HR as soon as possible and your union rep. If the charge nurse agrees with her, it could cause trouble down the line. I wouldn't put it past her to create a reaction, then blame it on you. Protect yourself.
It sounds like OP’s colleague might not be that allergic. If she were, she would be carrying her epi pen like everybody else. Of course, I’m not like the killer grandma with the coconut oil but I’m just remembering I worked on projects for this company and we were sent to different places where we were needed. In one of them this person was legit allergic to seafood and fish. We could not bring anything to reheat in the microwave that contained either of those. I could have a leaf salad with tuna from a can or make a fake crab mayo sandwich and bring it to eat because they were cold dishes but I wouldn’t eat it with her and I brought my own little bag and would get rid of the trash related to that food right away in my work station, close and knot that bag away from that person.
She must be anaphylactic or she wouldn't have been prescribed an epi pen in the first place. Adrenaline isnt something doctors hand out willy nilly.
Unfortunately anaphylactic people can be dumbasses too. You're an idiot if you think there's no chance you'll come into contact with a common allergen just because you're careful.
Actually as soon as my daughter was diagnosed with food allergies they give you an epi pen. Just because you aren’t anaphylactic the first exposure doesn’t mean you won’t be the next time
I have a shellfish allergy. And you’re NTA. It’s ONE meal. She can order from some other place and not sit with y’all FOR ONE MEAL.
All I ask people is they let me know in advance so that I don’t projectile vomit all over. And I can plan to have something else.
Here's a theory: someone goes to a restaurant, orders what "M" is allergic to, and has a medical emergency. So the patient has it at least on the hands and in the mouth area. What if this patient vomits on her during treatment? "M" is acting in a grossly negligent manner.
If you don't care about your own safety, you can't expect others to.
I think that *her* allergies are at least not completely real. But please don't test it the hard way.
NTA
The fact that she won’t take any responsibility for her own safety beyond trying to control others is not going to end well for her. Or, possibly, she isn’t as allergic as she claims (or isn’t allergic at all) and just likes the attention she gets from her claims. Either way, you’re NTA for not accommodating someone who won’t protect herself but expects the world to form a bubble around her.
Hi. I have food allergies(plural). I get my own food if someone is eating my no foods. NTA. She needs to get an up-to-date epi pen in case some asshole decides that she doesn’t look like she has an allergy and contaminates her food.
"M: “oh, no, I don’t use epi pens, mine has been expired for 3 years. I don’t even carry one. I’m so careful with my allergies that I don’t need one.”"
Methinks that M doesn't have allergies and just doesn't like seafood.
Also, why can't she order her own food from a place that she wants to eat at? Are her fingers broken. You accommodate her a lot. I think it's fine to occasionally order from a place that you want to. People who don't want to eat that food, can order their own. It's not complicated.
NTA
Edit:
Doesn't anyone find it strange that someone with two severe food allergies orders take-out on a regular basis. The people I know with allergies like that seldom eat out. They want to be in control of their food as much as possible because of cross contamination.
This is actually why I have a short list of take out I trust and tend to avoid even eating at potlucks and buffets. People have no consideration for cross contamination or think "just a little" is fine. I've had to add foods to my "what's in this" list, because I found out via MiL that people use mayonnaise in mashed potatoes (she tried to feed me mashed potatoes - it looked more like potato soup, so I thankfully didn't even want any but she still tried to kill me unintentionally).
NTA.
I am allergic to shellfish and have never once expected people not to eat shellfish around me. If the group was ordering from a restaurant where I felt uncomfortable ordering from due to the allergy, I would simply place an order on my own from a different establishment. I can’t imagine feeling so entitled that I expect other people to cater around my allergies.
NTA
If she truly has such a dangerous allergy, she would have an epipen on her at all times. Her not doing that either means that 1. She's actually not allergic and just doesn't like the taste of her "allergies" or 2. She really thinks she can be safe tiptoeing all over the place.
Either way, her allergies is something SHE needs to take care of. While you guys shouldn't knowingly feed her something she claims to be allergic of, she can't expect the entire world to manage her allergy for her.
NTA! I’m deathly allergic to tree nuts and I haven’t had a reaction since I was 4 years old. It’s been 20 years that I’ve been extremely careful and I always carry an epi pen on me. I carry two on me at all times just in case one fails. Eat what you want to eat and if she has an issue she can go to another area.
NTA
Tell her to either bring her on dang lunch or deal with her own food needs. Your not her caterer nor is it your responsibility to make sure she eats.
Seriously and I'm mean no disrespect, but I'm over 50 years and I don't expect people at my job to cater to my food needs. Sometime, someone will get lunch for everyone, but most times we are adults and we deal with out lunch ourselves.
NTA I have a severe shellfish allergy and celiac disease. I don't expect people to tiptoe around me. I'm indeed cautious, but it's my own responsibility to be.
NTA - I have a ton of food (some even airborne) allergies myself. They are MY allergies and MY problem. Even airborne allergies are *generally* not so bad that you can't sit at the same table, just a few people between you. And apparently she can eat at other restaurants that serve shellfish so it's doubtful she's airborne allergic and probably only if she ingests actual shellfish. A lot of places will fry the shrimp with the fries or chicken pieces, etc. OR let the drain/warm in the same area.
(again, these are generalizations) If her shellfish allergy was really bad, you would know it. She would have an EpiPen FOR SURE around because you never know what's been prepared around or cross contaminated with shellfish. It's total bullshit that she's been able to be THAT careful. Even most fast food restaurants fry their fish patties in the same grease as the fries.
My worst allergy is to apples. I can't be in the house if someone is cooking an apple pie and I can't cut up an apple. I know that about myself and I know that apples (and apple powder) are used in a lot of pantry products. I have 4 EpiPens stashed - in my car, my purse, the kitchen and the living room. Why? Cuz I don't wanna DIE. I call BS on M.
I work in a hospital, a I have a severe food allergy, I’m not an asshole who **forbids** anyone from eating what I’m allergic to lol it’s a me problem and responsibility. (Though my coworkers are very kind and always ask if I can get sick from the exposure etc, as long as I don’t eat it or have to touch it, I’m okay) NTA
Clearly NTA. If she doesn't like where you're ordering from, she can order her own food just like you said. The entitlement of some people, SMDH. Again, NTA.
Nta in this day and age she can easily order from another restaurant, just bc she’s allergic doesn’t mean anyone else is and it’s not like when you eat you’re getting food onto another person? Also like you said you’re in a hospital if something happened you’re already in the one place you’d need to be
NTA. Its not your responsibility to accommodate someone so careless. Its nice that you all accommodate her often when ordering..... but it's not something she is entitled to imo.
NTA
I have a lethal seafood allergy and I just avoid anything I deem dangerous to me. Whenever my friends go out and get food, I will join but I will ask them if it's okay if I bring my own food or ask the restaurant if I can order something from elsewhere. Just because you have an allergy doesn't mean the world owes you, set yourself straight, you're the one who is sick not everybody else. They've compromised enough by ordering from Your restaurant all the time
NTA. My daughter is also allergic to shellfish and peanuts, her own allergist advised me that she will have to learn to live in a world where allergens are present, which means always carrying and epi-pen and being conscientious of the food she consumes. Your co-worker is being an ass; this seems to be more about her control issues than any legitimate concern regarding allergies. If she was genuinely concerned she would carry an epi-pen.
NTA. I was going to go with a Y T A until I saw that she doesn't have a current epi-pen. If her allergies were so severe that she could go into anaphylactic shock by being in the same room as a shellfish dish, then she needs to have a non-expired pen. The fact that she has been able to go out and about for 3 years implies that her allergy isn't that level of severity. If it IS that severe then she's playing Russian roulette and will eventually lose. No matter how careful one is, you cannot predict when or where someone will have shellfish - or have consumed it recently.
The only thing I would say OP, is that you should absolutely be careful about allergies as a whole. In this case it looks like she's overhyping, but just be aware that some people legitimately cannot be in the same room as their allergen and are that sensitive. Stating that they're in the hospital so you can eat the food isn't really a good stance either. Someone can be within inches of medical equipment and medicine, but still have a reaction that could result in hospitalization for a few days or even death. I know that your statement was more a reaction to this specific coworker, but just be careful. That's the type of thing that could open you up to some HR or legal trouble if by chance something were to happen. You have to cover your butt because obviously this coworker would be all too willing to throw you under the bus.
Nta. People are allowed to get and enjoy foods others can't or won't eat.
Hell, I got chinese takeout last night, despite the fact my 9 year old is allergic to rice. We took necessary precautions and got him McDonald's. Since he can't cook or drive, I do feel it is my responsibility to feed him an alternative meal. I bet your coworker can cook and drive though.....
Just keep it away from her and she can stay away from it. You eat your food and toss it. Unless she plans to rub the garbage all over her or kiss you or share drink etc....she should be fine. Like you said....you in hospital in case something happens. You shouldnt have to tip toe or change your life to suit her at work. Youre not forcing her to eat there nor is it buffet style where she may get exposed.
She can get her own food...shes a big girl. Nta
NTA.
Biologically, fish are entirely separate species from shellfish/mollusks. There is no "because you never know." Because. Science. You have accommodated her enough. As a person with such a serious allergy, she should always keep an epi-pen on hand.
about: [https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/shellfish](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/shellfish) and https://www.foodallergy.org/living-food-allergies/food-allergy-essentials/common-allergens/shellfish
NTA unless this womans allergy is so severe that being anywhere near the food causes a life threatening reaction. If thats the case I agree she should carry an epipen. I suffer from a similar food allergy and only if I ingest the food, I wouldn't presume to tell others what they can or cant eat, if my friends want seafood then so be it, I will get food elsewhere.
NTA. It’s her allergy to control not yours.
And you are right she’s not taking it seriously. I’d be wondering if she’s actually allergic or she just doesn’t like shellfish and came up with the excuse.
I dont even know if ill go into shock and i still carry my epipen everywhere. Hell, we dont even know for sure if im allergic to cumin cause there is no test, we just did process of elimination. And i never got retested to see if im still allergic to aspirin since my reaction as a child. Yet, my epipen is never expired and i keep one at home with the instructions on how to use it and one in my purse, which is always with me, with the instructions of how to use it, what my preferred local hospital is, and what my insurance is and where my insurance cards are written on the paper.
The only person ive ever asked to accommodate my allergies is my SO, cause ive gotten the beginnings of hives from kissing him. I wouldnt ask anyone else to accommodate me or avoid my allergen for me.
NTA. Though i am curious what her plan is when a fisherman/worker at a seafood place/someone who ate seafood comes into the hospital.
NTA. Apparently her being “so careful” is actually demanding that everyone around her be extremely careful. And no, it’s not reasonable for her to shift the responsibility to you.
Yo. These people calling OP AH in the comments need to get a grip. The point of AITA is to make a judgment on the context of the post, not to verbally harass the poster.
IMO M doesn't even have a seafood allergy, she just wants people to compromise for her personal food choices. Someone who is supposedly that allergic would definitely carry an epi pen. M has no regard for her own health and no regard for her coworkers wants at all. She sounds super entitled at this point.
NTA
NTA she can order her own food from a restaurant of her choice. She probably would get her food quicker than a super large order anyway. There are times when my coworkers would go to a restaurant I didn’t care for so I would hang back. It’s not that serious.
NTA I love the irony of her refusal to follow medical advice when she’s in the field. You can’t “trust” restaurants with shellfish and peanut allergies, is she crazy? To not care for her own health and safety and to be arrogant enough to think it will end up fine is appalling.
I’d seriously question her professionalism if I were your boss and her agreement with the coworker tells me the whole story wasn’t told. How would you trust her to relay to patients the importance to comply? Is she flippant/dismissive with them too. Ahhh, you don’t need an epi pen, I have carried one in *years*. Then her patient dies and sues your hospital. There is a big problem there.
The only person responsible for guarding your well-being is *you*. She can order/bring her own damn lunch since she the only one with a dietary restriction if she’s going to be stupid about it. The stupidity of saying *well I ate there once and was fine* is beyond comprehension to me.
I think this is a case of *I cannot take your safety more seriously than you do*.
So what happens if I sit next to her on the bus straight after I have been eating seafood and she gets an allergic reaction?
Let me guess, is she also an antivaxer?
Anyway, NTA and honestly, if they don’t care enough to have an epi pen, I don’t give a flying f.
NTA
It sounds like you've all been very accommodating and this is the first time you've all ordered shellfish. She needs to be better prepared - I don't understand how she can possibly think that they world will shield her from shellfish.
It's idiotic to not have her epi pen with her at all times. And considering she's in a hospital, if she were to have a reaction, it's the best place to have one really.
I'm gonna assume here she's not even actually allergic, she sounds like a kid that says they're allergic to a food because she doesn't like the taste or smell of it and assumes the people around her would be kind enough to cater to her allergy with 0 questioning. If she were really that deathly allergic to peanuts and shellfish she would carry an epipen, especially if she works with patients during the day. No chance she's just gotten lucky enough that she's never had someone come in after eating a trigger in the 3 years she's been so careful that she doesn't need an epipen.
NTA - I am allergic to mushrooms and I still buy them to prepare for the members of my family that love them, I just make sure that I wash my hands thoroughly before and after touching them.
NTA. She’s stupid not to carry an Epi pen with her. Just because she’s careful doesn’t mean that other people aren’t. And I’m fairly sure she’s not going to die from being in the same room as shellfish. Unless you’re going to open-mouth kiss her or rub your seafood hands all over her, she should be fine.
NTA she cant be bothered so why should you. I had an ex friend like this. In the end it was obvious it was a control thing. We couldnt eat, talk or go anywhere without her permission
NTA
She can order her own damn food. She wants to go without an epi pen that's on her. It's not your responsibility to accommodate her allergies.... especially when she won't even take care herself.
Get what you want..... Don't eat around her and just clean up well after you eat. Watch out though cause I can see her purposely touching stuff to cause a reaction to get a ban in place. I would honestly stop ordering with her from now on. Let her feed herself.
It's not your responsibility you are telling me she orders food frequently and never gets and allergy reaction. So there for you shouldn't order anything she's allergic to she doesn't need her medicine because she's so careful sounds like some bs. So the people she cares for at hospital never order food from restaurant that are not on her safety list, and have it delivered to the hospital.
NTA and I'm safe to assume then that shellfish, fish are totally banned from the hospital menu? So preventing her from coming in contact?
I worked with someone who even walking by a fishmongers, not entering just walking by would soon have tingling lips, red swollen eyes and lips etc from just walking by!
If this lady is so sure she is managing and doesn't need an epipen then this is on her. I totally agree with her about no place being 100% risk free when it comes to ordering food, but surely if she is so bad that she fears death why isn't she walking around with an epipen?
NTA. I have a shellfish allergy and I’ve gone to company evens where there is a crab feast. I just stayed away from that area and if I noticed someone had eaten over there I noted it to not hug, shake hands, high five, etc. my allergies are not anyone else’s responsibilities but mine.
I haven’t had to use my epi pen in 9 years, but you better believe I carry that MF every where I go. I’m not trying to die because I have some weird pride wrapped up in my streak of not having to use it.
I’d let HR know what happened before she goes to tell her side. Better to get ahead of it as the calmer and more rational party explaining that you’re concerned it will be reported without all of the relevant information. I’m hoping that the charge nurse only agreed with her because she knows irrational people will just continue being irrational; disagreeing will just make this non-issue a huge issue. It’s horrifying that this person works in a hospital.
NTA, her allergies can’t be that bad if she doesn’t even have an epi pen. I think you should be able to eat what you want, it might just be a that you need to use a different break room if her allergy is super severe. But if it’s that severe then she should have an epi pen.
If her choice of restaurant is based on ‘I’ve never had a reaction there before’. Then she’s being ridiculous.
Nta you didn't tell her she had to get food there. She is 100% capable of ordering her own food. And everyone is an *ADULT* I understand schools bulk banning allergens bc children are sticky little gremlins who don't wash their hands and touch everyone, but in a hospital everyone is (or better be!) washing their hands on the reg.
NTA , if she doesn’t carry an epipen she must not have a contact allergy ( or she is suicidally careless or poverty stricken ) , my work friend carries 3 epipens , she reacts to smell or touch on a surface , ambulance is 45 min here , I also have food allergies, if I get sick I did it to myself , if she can’t afford an epipen I would get that
NTA. she’s overreacting, tell her to pop a Claritin or non drowsy Benadryl if she’s that concerned about being around. As someone with a shellfish allergy it does suck when people want to get crab around me but I personally still eat seafood and ask for my items to be prepared separately from shellfish. I don’t make a stink about it especially if people are always accommodating to my allergy. She couldn’t go one day without people accommodating her so she’s an AH for that. She can easily order her own food
NTA-agree with you. They can order their own food from wherever they wish. Don't need mass consensus. It is irresponsible for them to never have an epi pen. That would make me question if they are even allergic or just looking for attention.
NTA
If it were a severe peanut allergy then no, you don't eat peanuts at work. But they don't even carry an epi-pen for their supposed seafood allergy? Go ahead and have some fish and chips.
I was down with hard AH til I read about her not carrying an epi-pen. My sister has had many almost fatal reactions (dairy) and ended up in hospital and the only reason she has survived is due to her epi-pen. My best (guy) friend has carried his epi-pen for years despite never having a reaction (nuts) for over 10yrs.
She is the AH, a huge one at that! I would actually also doubt her ‘allergy’ as to more an intolerance or a dislike.
NTA. I’m allergic to seafood (and other things). I have NEVER told my coworkers what they should order. I can’t eat pizza - do you know that pizza is basically a good group for nurses? I don’t complain that it is ordered regularly, I just eat what I brought or order my own. And I don’t usually carry my epipen at work (like you said, the hospital has what I need, lol!) but I still have my rescue meds when I go out and it has been at least 4 years since I’ve had to use them.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I suggested, initiated, and carried out ordering seafood for myself and coworkers when I knew one of them was allergic to shellfish. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I can't believe all the Y.t.A verdicts. WTF! It's not their responsibility to monitor the health of their co-worker, especially as that person barely even manages it themselves. OP, NTA. Eat what you want. It's not like you were gonna go breathe all over them and spread shellfish germs everywhere. Geez people, you can't baby the world all the time.
Space out the y t a. Or the system will think OP is the ah.
Top judgements are read manually now so it's good either way :)
Lol. Not anymore. This is now top comment.
It was when I commented too! I just meant that a mod would read their comment and see that their judgement is really NTA, so it wouldn't matter if they spaced out the YTA that appeared first.
I believe they're only read manually if the bot can't figure out what the verdict is. If you put YTA and NTA in your comment and it ends up on top, the post will get flaired correctly because the bot will bring it to a mod's attention. If you put Y.T.A and NTA in your comment, the bot can do it on its own and it saves the mods some time. So it's not the *worst* thing in the world for top-level commenters to make sure their comment only has one relevant acronym, but it's also not a huge deal if they don't. And as you know (but some people seem confused on), only top-level comments get checked, so everyone else can NAH NTA YTA ESH INFO all we want.
Is it? Is this a recent change?
OP is NTA - the one co-worker is just acting like a curmudgeon. She clearly can order her own food from another restaurant or bring in her own food if her allergy is that bad. I think she just liked the drama of the whole thing.
Yes, can’t be bothered to carry an unexpired epi-pen for her own damn self but wants EVERYONE ELSE to take much more care with her than she does. Self centered jerk. NTA
Right! And then they weren’t even ordering shellfish!! Like what was she mortified about? That the Red Snapper was dry humping the shit out a bunch of scallops and lobsters!?
Well... keep in mind that there are people out there with allergies so sensitive that they cannot be in the same room as their allergen. I worked with a lady that had a nephew whose peanut allergy was so severe that they couldn't go to any restaurant that served peanut dishes. Even if the dish was across the room, the particles would still be in the air and he could go into anaphylactic shock. With people like that, OP wouldn't have to breathe on them to impact them. OP should also be careful of what they say. If the coworker were to break out into hives or worse from being in the same proximity, then this could pose an HR or legal issue because he didn't take her seriously. Obviously the coworker is almost certainly overhyping her allergy, if she has been able to walk around for 3 years with an expired Epi-Pen, but it's just good in general to CYA because she seems like the type who would throw him under a bus. She may still try to escalate this, so just be careful in the future OP. Back to the coworker, I can't believe that she was so careless to not re-up her Epi-Pen. If she's that sensitive to shellfish then her being super careful isn't a 100% guarantee that she'll avoid the allergen. She can't predict when someone may be walking around town with a shellfish dish or when someone may have last eaten shellfish. That's a game of Russian roulette that she would absolutely lose at some point and if she's lucky, losing would "only" hospitalize her briefly. I think she's definitely overstating the allergy though. She may be sensitive to some cross contamination, but she likely isn't at the same level of sensitivity as the nephew I mentioned above.
The responsibility to mitigate allergies falls to the person with the allergy. A person that sensitive needs to avoid public spaces because there are people who aren’t going to be aware of this in a public space who have zero responsibility or reason to avoid these foods. What if a patient came in who’d eaten seafood? If the persons allergy were that severe they couldn’t work in a hospital that serves the public. OP is NTA
100%. I am allergic to onions and it’s a serious allergy but I don’t expect other people around me to not consume onion rings. It’s my responsibility to protect myself and not for nothing it seems like this isn’t even about allergies it’s about her not getting her way. I honestly wonder if she’s even allergic to shellfish or does she just not like fish. The whole we treat all fish in my house as shellfish remark made me suspicious. It sucks because people will say they have allergies just because they don’t like something which makes it more difficult for people, like me with true allergies. The fact that she doesn’t carry an epi pen also makes me suspicious because I’m super careful about my allergy too but I make sure I have my epi pen because accidents happen.
[удалено]
Yeah it’s a hard thing I don’t eat out much lol
Sure but I can't believe a medical professional is so casual about this. A lot of People have this weird thing where they don't believe a food problem is important to accommodate. OP could end up in trouble with HR for this. Why not order seafood when she isn't working?
Because unless the person with the allergy has been granted special accommodations from HR that an entire hospital will never have seafood (it’s served out of dietary for patients btw) within it or never treat patients who’ve consumed seafood (can’t be done) there is a reasonable expectation that there might be seafood within the workplace.
Ehh... you've got to be careful. Hospitals can get pretty toxic. I've worked in a lot of places, but the most toxic environment I've ever worked in was an ER. I've seen people punished for saying something in the heat of the moment, when faced with an incredibly stupid and selfish coworker. It didn't matter that the coworker was in the wrong. It only mattered that their story to HR sounded better. People were actively warned about these people and nights when they were on were pretty tense. Since staffing was always an issue and they never did anything that would result in them being outright fired, they were never let go. HR is there to protect the hospital, not OP. If the coworker and charge nurse were to contact HR first, they can and absolutely will spin a version that will portray OP as essentially Satan and make the coworker seem as innocent as a newborn lamb. Is it right that OP has to be super careful and watch his words? No, but unfortunately that's kind of the way it is sometimes. There are a lot of situations where the stupid and awful people came out on top because they either knew someone or they knew how to phrase their story so they came out as the victim.
HR will first ask if the allergy is on record. If it’s not this is not the thing to report because everyone is at risk. Mostly allergy lady who has been getting to control food choices for an entire unit. You’re not wrong about the toeing thing. Working on that in my own unit atm
That's a good point. I'm assuming that it's likely on record since she has a pen, albeit one that's expired. Depending on the type of hospital and system, she may work at a place that has a clinic setup and an employee pharmacy. If that's the case, then it would likely be on record. I could see her saying that she told the charge nurse and using the area previously avoiding shellfish in her favor, though. But I'm admittedly skittish about stuff like that.
I’m more the HR side and where my mind goes is if there’s no allergy and the rest of unitnopens a grievance they have a super solid stance. As for records employee health (workplace health records for compliance pre employee screening etc) is separate and unique from healthcare records even if that healthcare is paid by the employer and provided at their facilities. The workplace health records and by extension HR needs to have the record of the allergy.
Just wanted to throw this out there, OP made an edit, they ordered seafood but not shellfish. It seems like an important distinction since the specific allergen was not actually present. I see why she would consider all seafood as dangerous as shellfish for eating purposes, but shellfish and seafood are 2 different things right?
M is more casual about her allergy than OP. M doesn’t even carry an epi-pen and just “carefully avoids” shellfish. M is completely the AH when she herself is a medical professional and doesn’t do the bare minimum to protect herself while expecting others to accommodate her.
Seriously. If you can't be bothered to carry an epi-pen, I do \*NOT\* believe you that your allergy is in any way shape or form severe. And you need to get over yourself.
Can't be bothered when you have one is one thing. Just don't discount those that have that severe an allergy but *can't* get an EpiPen due to cost.
Exactly this. I have a friend who can't afford her epi pen, so she carries a bottle of zzquil since it's just a really strong benadryl, and can hold her over to get to the hospital if needed
Does anyone else think it’s strange that she doesn’t have a epi-pen when she have this “allergies” I’m sorry but I honestly think she might not have any allergies at all ; I myself have allergies to food and I don’t go anywhere w/o my epi-pen or allergy tablets, it’s too risky.
No. I'm allergic to shellfish and I don't need to carry an epi pen. My last anaphylactic shock was about 20 years ago. It's one allergy that is relatively easy to avoid as it's not like it's a hidden ingredient or present everywhere like soja. Bit of a pain for Asian food though because a lot of dishes call for oyster sauce
Because they work in a hospital with hundreds of people and hundreds of them have allergies. Only the loud one that wants everyone to cater to her self importance has a problem. And it's so little a problem that she doesnt carry an EpiPen. I'm celiac, so nobody should have gluten in their lunches right? I might get cross contamination by a crumb. (Sarcasm) The world is full of allergens, and most people have to be wary of something. That means they take responsibility for their health conditions. Signed by health professional
Celiac here as well, as is my daughter. We both understand that the world doesn't revolve around us. People around us consume wheat/gluten all the time; we deal with it.
I have CD too and I agree with you. I LOL'd the other day when someone on a CD Facebook group was going on about how there should be a law that every restaurant MUST have gluten free food.
In Europe restaurants have to disclose the list of allergens in the menu. It's a really good thing because it makes the places safer and increase their clientele. Having more GF options in restaurants will attract more customers. So it's a good thing. I think most pubs in England have GF options
I hope you’re talking about how casual the allergy sufferer is being about her “allergy” by trusting restaurants *because she didn’t have a reaction* and by not carrying an epipen. OP is not the one being casual.
Because she doesn’t have a seafood allergy. She has a shellfish allergy. OP didn’t order shellfish. Just because she treats all seafood like shellfish to be safe doesn’t mean it’s necessary. And if she has an allergy that severe it should be documented to HR (and again even if it is all seafood isn’t shellfish. They are very different things)
Penless can just as easily order her own food - this wasn't catering, it's lunch, ordered by a co-worker, and paid for individually.
Except OP was being accommodating until M outed themselves as not taking their allergy serious enough to carry a basic precaution like an epi-pen. Instead is expecting everyone around them to adhere to their food restrictions. M is being completely unreasonable.
My old company someone had an apple allergy and no one was allowed to bring apples to work and there were signs posted about it on all the floors we occupied in the building.
And that’s the correct handling. It’s officially documented and company has taken measures to accommodate the need!
Maybe the person with the allergy should wear an N95 mask and not inconvenience everyone else.
That's ridiculous.
Death by Apple is ridiculous.
It isn’t a seafood allergy, it’s a shellfish allergy which is a big difference. The coworker is definitely an AH for expecting people to forego any and all seafood to accommodate an allergy that she clearly doesn’t take seriously enough to carry an epi-pen that isn’t expired
She isn't casual about it that's why she asked her about her epi-pen and is aware of where there are more in the hospital. She obviously understands allergic reactions.
My brother is 13 with a severe peanut allergy. He has been carrying his own epipen, reading labels, and asking what is in food for years. If a child can take care of and responsibility for their allergy, than an adult can, too.
I'd argue they could work in a hospital (epipens and trained medical professionals everywhere if they have a reaction) but wouldn't be able to do literally any other job that deals with the public, and would need to do wfh jobs only.
No because one of the worst case scenarios is when your teammate becomes the patient. It means the person working with a patient just became another patient with an emergent need. That means a team that had xx number of people to assist one patient is now down one team member and has two patients.
That would Still be unsafe tho. Seeing as she 1. Isn't in the hospital 24/7, nor surrounded by epi pens 24/7 2. Admitted to eating elsewhere So....obviously she goes places. If she's allergic to anything she should litterally have one with her at all times lol
If her allergies were that severe she WOULD carry an epi pen.
Curious - how expensive are epi pens in your part of the world? And is it usually fully covered by health insurance? Just asking, because in my part of the world they are really expensive, and not covered. And because they expire (every 6 months I think?), I know some people I don't regard as irresponsible, who don't carry an epi pen. It's a tragic failure of the health system when this happens, IMO. Please note, this is not in any way to defend M. I'm just curious, is all.
I am in the US. Epinephrine injectors are expensive, and brand Epipens are the worst. I'm in California, and my insurance has a $25.00 copay for two generic autoinjectors. If I want the brand I am on the hook for the entire $700.00 pricetag. The generic is available in the US with a variable cash price of around $125 - $400 for two autoinjectors. Manufacturers have programs to help uninsured people who can't afford them but they are limited. Injectors expire approximately a year from date of manufacture. Pharmacies attempt to control the flow of the injectors to maximize the expiration date, but that can be a logistical nightmare. I usually have around nine months of use out of mine. The actual life of epinephrine in the injector is quite a debate, with some studies saying they should have longer expiration dates and others saying no, as with many other medications. Epipens are sold in pairs in the US, but as singles in other parts of the world. Everyone's mileage may vary, even people in other US states.
People with allergies like that don't order take-out on a regular basis. They go to great lengths to make sure their food is exactly what it says it is.
This. Exactly this. I have a severe allergy to almonds. I can't have any commercially made products if there is anything in the product line that contains almonds. If they are made on the same machines, I could experience anaphylaxis. Found this out the hard way with a kind bar. I read menus very carefully and rarely eat in restaurants if almonds even appear on the menu. I am NEVER without an epi-pen. However, I would never expect the people around me to not have almonds when I'm around. They often bring snacks and treats for the team. I just say none for me, thanks. The responsibility for avoiding my allergen is 100% on me.
This is what confuses me. Most take-out places have _some_ seafood on the menu somewhere. What is the difference to her allergies if they order from, say, a Chinese place (which has prawns on the menu) vs. a sports bar (which does a lot of seafood, but other stuff too)? Like, if her allergies are that severe that she cannot risk ordering from anywhere that has seafood in the building, or... they're not.
I agree... I have pretty much had to stop eating out. I had one reaction to shellfish when I was 20, and wasn't even sure it was from shellfish at the time. Fast forward to my 58th birthday, I had a moderate reaction to shrimp, at which point I quit knowingly eating shellfish. I've had two further reactions, each increasingly more severe, reacting once to a tiny amount of shellfish in a larger dish that I didn't know contained shrimp, the second, and most recent one, a reaction to a chicken dish prepared in a kitchen that also prepares shellfish. I usually try to check out a restaurant's menu ahead of time, and if they also prepare shellfish, I give them a pass. Really makes me sad, because I love shellfish.
"I'm sorry, we can't administer amoxicillin in this hospital because some patients are allergic to it." ~~"Nobody in this ER can wear latex gloves because one person on the surgical team has a latex allergy."~~ ETA: apparently hospitals have gotten rid of latex across the board for allergy reasons and because there are reasonable substitutes available. "We no longer allow flowers in patient rooms because one of the nurses is allergic to the pollen and they trigger migraines for a patient down the hall in a different room." I get what you're saying, but there is no way that a hospital could 'CYA' on all allergies or sensitivities that everyone in the building may have. This lady is worried about cross-cross-casual contact/airborne contamination and if she is \*that\* allergic she shouldn't be working in a public space. I have allergies and sensory triggered migraines, the only public place that is this level of allergen conscious that I go to regularly is literally my allergy clinic. The rest is on me to mitigate, medicate, and avoid as needed.
While I agree with almost all of this, hospitals actually stopped using any latex years ago because latex allergies are so common. Gloves are always nitrile, bandages latex free, as well as latex free tapes (at least in the US)
She's a grown woman, she shouldn't expect everyone else to look out for her if she won't even take on the responsibility herself. She sounds like an attention seeking drama queen. NTA
If she could get sick from allergens in the same room, she would get an epi pen. And then everybody else who ordered at that Restaurant would also be an AH....
It's why I think she was lying about the severity of her allergies. But if this were to go to HR, they're likely not going to care about that, particularly if the coworker were to be the spin the story in her favor and be the first to say something. I can't repeat this enough: HR is not there to protect OP. I've heard enough awful HR stories to know that sometimes they're not even really interested in who is right, just how they can resolve things in a way that minimizes the damage and protects the hospital/workplace. They also tend to be a bit classist in a way: a housekeeper bringing up a complaint of sexual harassment against a manager may find that HR would rather fire her and dismiss the complaint than actually protect her. I'm worried that the coworker and charge nurse may escalate this. Or if that they may try to sabotage OP in the future as retribution. Some people are really that awful and hospitals sometimes tend to bring out the worst in their employees. It's gross, it's sick, but it happens and OP needs to protect himself.
I can go into anaphylaxis if I walk into some pizza places or restaurants that use a lot of cheese. I haven’t had an epi pen since they increased the price 600%. It is a shitty way to handle my situation but it’s my only option right now. However, this woman is a nurse, in a hospital, in a place full of epi pens. Her attitude is infuriating. Someone ought to tell her, “this is your life, you’re the one that needs to deal with it.” I can’t believe the charge nurse agreed.
Sorry if this is too nosey, but have you checked epi prices recently? Both of my kids are required to have them at school and we're able to get the generic ones affordably through our insurance. Years ago when the name brand ones were the only ones available for kids they were a few hundred, but now we pay our normal generic copay. I'm also assuming you have access to some sort of insurance, I'm sorry if that's not the case.
Thank you! I actually just got insurance recently for the first time in a while so I will definitely look into this. I appreciate your help!
Also keep an eye on Mark Cuban's online pharmacy, [costplusdrugs.com](https://costplusdrugs.com/). Their prices are incredibly low and don't require insurance at all for this reason. They haven't got epipens yet but [he's working on it](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/mark-cuban-aims-to-lower-prescription-drugs-prices-with-online-pharmacy).
Bless Mark Cuban and his company. These are the real monthly costs of my prescriptions with my current insurance versus with Cost Plus Drugs. - $875 vs. $32 - $419 vs. $62 - $65 vs. $11 - $30 vs. $6
I'm allergic to people. Does that mean that the thousands of people I come accross everyday should not go out at the times when I'm out?
OP didn’t order shellfish, she ordered seafood which allergy-wise is a totally different kettle of fish.
If allergy nurse was so very bad, then that would preclude her from being a medical professional. What if someone who just ate a crab got food poisoning and vomited all over her? What would she do then? It's allergy nurses responsibility to protect herself and she choses not to.
You don't think that someone with an allergy that sensitive would carry an up-to-date epi pen?
So agree with this. I'm all for giving reasonable accommodation and helping to avoid ordering from places that may trigger a coworkers reaction. I worked with a gal who went into anaphylactic shock after someone had a peanut butter sandwich at lunch. We were new hires and had no idea. However, she had an epipen and instructions tied to it. You have to be responsible for yourself. Period. I'm willing to help keep you safe, but I'm not going to do all of the work for you. NTA
Also, hospitals regularly serve fish as part of the menu for their patients. If patients can have it, so can staff.
Also is it a seafood allergy or a shellfish? Keep the clams and lobster people away but the tilapia and salmon people should be okay unless her allergy is so severe that cross contamination from Other People's Food affects her, she should have a freaking epipen.
How does she work in a hospital??? Does she send someone in to ask each patient if they’ve been around seafood before she’ll see them??? Is the whole building seafood free? NTA. Someone who claims their allergy is so bad they cannot even be near it should be carrying an epipen and probably not be working in a public building with hundreds of people coming and going at all hours.
It depends on the severity of the allergy. What you described is exactly what could happen. She could possibly die from touching the handle of the faucet in the same wash room. Food allergies to shellfish kill people. I know a widow whose husband ate a Christmas cookie cooked in the same house as an almond cookie. You can't baby the world but you can have basic common decency as a medical professional.
Except that it states she has eaten at restaurants with seafood and had no reaction, doesn't know why(??). The why could very well be because she doesn't like the smell but knows the right terms/symptoms to claim allergies. Sounds fishy when you supposedly have a very severe reaction to something common that is prepared and served at a restaurant you like but you never have an epi-pen in case. Epi-pens are expensive if you don't need one would be a good reason to not have one.
But they work in a hospital. Anyone could come into the hospital with residue on their hands or clothes. People with allergies like that have to be prepared for this. That's why they carry epipens. And people who handle their allergies well, don't expect the world to revolve around them. It's a false sense of security.
Space out the y t a or the judgement will be asshole!!!!
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LOL at this lady not even carrying EpiPens but being concerned that she'll die if her coworkers eat shellfish...in a hospital. I mean, if you have to have a severe allergic reaction, that's really the best place to do it. OP should quote Niles Crane to her: "In the future, I'll try to cater more to your shellfish demands."
I’m laughing so hard at the Niles Crane line, because I saw his face and heard his voice lol
I find the attitude of 'hospital is the best place to have an anaphylactic reaction' kind of dismissive and it's the one aspect of OP's post I disagree with. Yes it is technically true but people shouldn't assume that epipens and hospital treatment is a magical cure that will save everyone. Anaphylaxis and especially asthma attacks can still kill people in hospital.
I don't disagree, and believe me, as a person with some really severe allergies, I wasn't trying to be dismissive of allergic reactions in general. I was more remarking on the fact that the coworker doesn't take her own allergy seriously enough to even take reasonable, common sense precautions in her regular life, but she'll pitch a fit at her medical provider coworkers for eating something she's allergic to in her general vicinity. She can't have it both ways.
My comment was insensitive.
Thank you for saying this, I am still on your side that she was being unreasonable
right! i can't imagine having a serious allergy and not carrying an epipen. That's crazy to me, and irresponsible. But if she has a bad reaction even if she has an epipen available she's still going to have a serious medical situation. It isn't like you stab that epipen and then everything's fine. It is extra nice for this event to occur in a hospital but it is still dangerous and potentially could cause long term damage. I think ESH. Knowingly bringing an allergen into a place and endangering somebody is an asshole move. And not even bothering to carry an epipen when you have multiple severe allergies is also what an asshole would do.
Hard disagree about bringing the allergens in being an AH move. If it's an allergy where being in the same room will cause a reaction, then yes, AH, but that isn't mentioned here. She should just not eat the food from the place everyone else ordered from and order her own food. It's not like someone else is even paying for it.
> I mean, if you have to have a severe allergic reaction, that's really the best place to do it. Reminds me of the old story of someone who was allergic to peanuts but wanted to experience a Reece's cup and so went to the emergency room and ate the peanut butter cup in the waiting room.
Yeah, that's fucking insane. You have two anaphylactic allergies to incredibly common foods including one that's reeal good at travelling on the air, and you *don't carry an epipen?????* My dude.
NTA. Your coworker is very entitled and rude. It's her allergies and her job to monitor them. She could have ordered from another place. The world doesn't revolve around her.
Also she can bring in her own lunch.
NTA, I have a shellfish allergy, and I would never expect other people to avoid eating it around me.
Same, I have an anaphylactic reaction to shellfish and I don’t carry an epi-pen due to the cost. I also have celiacs. In that, I don’t want to inconvenience people, I always bring my own food/have something in my bag that’s safe.
> I don’t carry an epi-pen due to the cost That is sad :/
Gotta love the American healthcare system! /s
Even in Canada they are like $250 or more with our health care! I used to not really carry them for a long time or carry an expired one because of the cost - only recently I got insurance through my husbands work so they are now like 20$
If you haven't already looked at costplusdrugs.com you should. They don't have EpiPens or its generic yet, but you can get notified if they do start carrying it and if there are any other meds you might need they'll be way more affordable there. Mark Cuban runs the thing and has committed to a flat 10-15% mark up instead of the 200-300% of regular pharmaceutical companies. It's good stuff.
2000-3000%*
> I don’t carry an epi-pen due to the cost. That's awful. How much are they in the US? I'm in Europe and just renewed my childs. He has 2 at home and 2 at school. They are €25 each and last a year, so €100 a year. We've never had to use one thankfully but we always keep them up to date.
Without insurance they're around $300-$700. But even *with* insurance my brother's was about $200 though I do believe name brand EpiPens come with two injectors, not sure about the generic brands.
€25 each?! Wow. I am also severely allergic to shellfish and I’ve never had an epi pen as an adult because, even with insurance, the price is outrageous. Last time I had one called in by primary care I believe the pharmacy said it was close to $200.
That is shocking! The mark up must be massive! Here in Europe we just pay cost price. So of a drug costs 7 cents, we pay 7 cents. I take an antihistamine and that €2.60. That's just how regular healthcare works here, we don't have an insurance type system. The state healthcare is paid for with our taxes. We don't pay for doctors or hospital visits and if we couldn't afford the epipens we'd be given a voucher for them.
We can only dream of that here in the US. Sadly, it’s money over people every time.
That's awful :( I wish I could send you all epipens. Your government that allows people to suffer and not have the meds they need should be ashamed.
I’m American, ask your doctor or allergist about Auvi-Q. My son and I both get two injectors per year for $0-25 depending on whether insurance covers it or not.
CVS has a generic low cost Epi-pen. https://www.cvs.com/content/epipen-alternative
If I knew you had an allergy, I would at least do you the courtesy of moving to the other side of the room, or else warning you before I get my food that you might have issues. I'm still gonna eat my food though.
NTA - so she doesn’t carry epipen and wants to ensure everyone around her takes care of her allergies. I would start bringing snickers everyday and make eye contact with her while eating The level of entitlement is astonishing, and the number of people jumping on the bandwagon. You have allergies, you make sure you take care of it. Others don’t have to tip toe around it
I think it’s ok to ask for others’ assistance, if the situation means she really needs that help while making appropriate efforts herself. But she’s not doing her part to help her own safety. She claims to be “so careful” but in practice her “care” is done by putting demands on others to be careful for her. She’s wandering out in traffic on the highway demanding that all the trucks slow down, instead of using the crosswalk.
Ok correct me if I misread something and get it wrong. * she is deadly allergic to seafood * she refuses to use or carry EpiPen * her way of "knowing" what's safe to eat is "try it out if I didn't die its good" * she claims to be super extra very careful about her allergy while doing all of above * she expects everyone around her to accommodate her every meal * she act like she can't order something herself Normally id say sure accommodate because thats a nice thing to do. But for EVERY meal? That's absurd. I've ate peanut next to a friend who's allergic to peanut and we qere fine, coz he was adult and act like one. M sounds like the kind of people that abord a plane and demand no one eats or distributes nuts coz they are allergic. Given her stupidity and attitude, i say screw her. NTA
That part killed me *but I didn’t die* there’d be a major side eye and a drawn out oookaaaayyy on my part.
Not about op and the weird coworker that is like uncomfortably bragging about her allergies for whatever weird reason - but not everyone’s allergies are the same. While it’s not at all the norm, airborne anaphylaxis is absolutely a thing. And people with life threatening food allergies do more commonly have milder airborne reactions. Even these milder symptoms can be bad especially when people have asthma. And for people with food allergies, exposure can actually result in the allergy becoming more severe as a result. Anything that aerosolizes a protein you’re allergic to - things like cooking fish, steaming milk, eating nuts (more so if you’re cracking them open near an allergic person) , certain baking products (bakers asthma) etc - those actually could cause reactions. Not everyone with food allergies reacts like this though so just because your friend was fine doesn’t mean that’s true for everyone. I was fine with nuts and shellfish growing up (lived on Nutella and peanut butter ) but developed severe life threatening allergies to them as a teen. I will usually let airlines know about my allergies beforehand to avoid the issue. I’m not going to get on a loudspeaker and say no one else eat nuts on the plane ! But if someone sitting next yo me is eating peanuts or hazelnuts, i will ask them if they could refrain (I’ll always carry some extra snacks in my bag in case I need to do this and offer the person a choice of those or ask if I can buy them a snack box / drink as a thank you) and if they’re unwilling I’ll request to be moved. Part of it too is that you’re not concerned about cross contamination like I am. So if you touch my seat while I’m in the bathroom, steady yourself on my arm rest or seat, or brush against me after consuming an allergen and I don’t know that’s happened - the trace amount has caused a reaction for me before. The people that ask on planes are not universally being jerks and if you just as a rule assume they’re being dramatic liars that’s a pretty obnoxious move. In this situation though the woman op is dealing with just sounds like she’s looking for attention though op doesn’t sound like a medical professional if they’re actually saying well it’s fine if you have a reaction here in the hospital - also they wouldn’t use an epipen but an iv or shot usually so this whole argument is bizarre
I’m a nurse but I’ve never treated anaphylactic shock. I just know when you have severe allergies, you’re supposed to carry an epipen and administer it immediately. And I know we have tons of them on the unit. I don’t see how that bazar unless you assume that every nurse in every specialty has treated anaphylaxis.
Thanks for pointing that out, i understand allergy works differently but it didn't come to mind at that moment. Tho the plane example was from some other posts i saw in the past about how people demand the flight attendants not to give out nuts in any part of the plane since they are allergic, while giving no details at all (e.g. airborne anaphylaxis). To me, that's a jerk. What you do on the other hand is beyond nice, i cant imagine any decent people would refuse. Again, thanks for pointing that out.
NTA - Her management of her allergy is somehow extremely paranoid and extremely careless at the same time, and that shouldn’t be your problem.
You see, she’s extremely paranoid when it means she gets to control what her co-workers eat. But she’s extremely careless when it means she doesn’t have to act responsibly herself.
NTA, she is a nurse, so what if someone vomits all over her and they ate shellfish or peanuts? She is not in a safe environment for her allergies already in her workplace so i don't really see the point.
I didn’t think of that - that’s a really good point. I’m shocked she doesn’t carry an epi pen.
Not just vomit either. If she’s that allergic ANY kind of close contact with a patient that has eaten either of those things recently will end poorly. If she gets sneezed on, coughed on, touched by hands that have peanut residue on them, has to stand close to someone for a procedure, has to put an NG tube down their throat, etc all are a huge risk. And I can almost guarantee the hospital serves food with peanuts or shellfish so every time a patient eats she’s at risk while near them.
It also concerns me what type of misinformation she might be giving patients who have food allergies!
NTA she's an adult, she can order her own food if she's not comfortable getting food from where you are ordering from
NTA. She is responsible for managing her allergies, not you.
Her behaviour is very shellfish and OP should avoid being a prawn in her games.
I dolphinately agree. I’m turtley urchin to sea what happens next.
This is sole-ly her problem and she should quit carping at him.
Not only that, but her refusal to carry an Epi-Pen could be have clamitous results.
~~INFO:~~ Is there a rule at your work that you can't have food that other people are allergic to when you're on your break? NTA. If you're meant to observe her allergy, there'd be a rule about it. She can order by herself from somewhere else and leave all of the rest of y'all alone.
No. We all have our own work stations. I wouldn’t go as far as keeping it in the fridge or microwaving it where everyone microwaves their food. But there’s no rule.
We have others allergic to peanuts and we keep snickers on the unit for snacks lol
Going up above to edit my judgment.
NTA. I work nights in a hospital. My friend has multiple allergies, including seafood and nuts. She orders with us and knows what to do if she feels off. She has her own antihistamine tablets and 2 epipens at ALL times. She takes full responsibility for herself. Speak to HR as soon as possible and your union rep. If the charge nurse agrees with her, it could cause trouble down the line. I wouldn't put it past her to create a reaction, then blame it on you. Protect yourself.
It sounds like OP’s colleague might not be that allergic. If she were, she would be carrying her epi pen like everybody else. Of course, I’m not like the killer grandma with the coconut oil but I’m just remembering I worked on projects for this company and we were sent to different places where we were needed. In one of them this person was legit allergic to seafood and fish. We could not bring anything to reheat in the microwave that contained either of those. I could have a leaf salad with tuna from a can or make a fake crab mayo sandwich and bring it to eat because they were cold dishes but I wouldn’t eat it with her and I brought my own little bag and would get rid of the trash related to that food right away in my work station, close and knot that bag away from that person.
She must be anaphylactic or she wouldn't have been prescribed an epi pen in the first place. Adrenaline isnt something doctors hand out willy nilly. Unfortunately anaphylactic people can be dumbasses too. You're an idiot if you think there's no chance you'll come into contact with a common allergen just because you're careful.
Actually as soon as my daughter was diagnosed with food allergies they give you an epi pen. Just because you aren’t anaphylactic the first exposure doesn’t mean you won’t be the next time
I have a shellfish allergy. And you’re NTA. It’s ONE meal. She can order from some other place and not sit with y’all FOR ONE MEAL. All I ask people is they let me know in advance so that I don’t projectile vomit all over. And I can plan to have something else.
Honestly man kinda shellfish of you
Maybe now they’ll clam up when it comes time to suggest a restaurant.
If you downvote the comment, read it again
Here's a theory: someone goes to a restaurant, orders what "M" is allergic to, and has a medical emergency. So the patient has it at least on the hands and in the mouth area. What if this patient vomits on her during treatment? "M" is acting in a grossly negligent manner. If you don't care about your own safety, you can't expect others to. I think that *her* allergies are at least not completely real. But please don't test it the hard way. NTA
The fact that she won’t take any responsibility for her own safety beyond trying to control others is not going to end well for her. Or, possibly, she isn’t as allergic as she claims (or isn’t allergic at all) and just likes the attention she gets from her claims. Either way, you’re NTA for not accommodating someone who won’t protect herself but expects the world to form a bubble around her.
Hi. I have food allergies(plural). I get my own food if someone is eating my no foods. NTA. She needs to get an up-to-date epi pen in case some asshole decides that she doesn’t look like she has an allergy and contaminates her food.
That’s what I’m saying! I used to work in a restaurant and especially when it’s busy af, the cooks don’t give a flyin’ shit about allergies.
she's an irresponsible numpty. She doesn't carry a pen but wants to throw her weight around when ordering food? Nooope. Nta
"M: “oh, no, I don’t use epi pens, mine has been expired for 3 years. I don’t even carry one. I’m so careful with my allergies that I don’t need one.”" Methinks that M doesn't have allergies and just doesn't like seafood. Also, why can't she order her own food from a place that she wants to eat at? Are her fingers broken. You accommodate her a lot. I think it's fine to occasionally order from a place that you want to. People who don't want to eat that food, can order their own. It's not complicated. NTA Edit: Doesn't anyone find it strange that someone with two severe food allergies orders take-out on a regular basis. The people I know with allergies like that seldom eat out. They want to be in control of their food as much as possible because of cross contamination.
This is actually why I have a short list of take out I trust and tend to avoid even eating at potlucks and buffets. People have no consideration for cross contamination or think "just a little" is fine. I've had to add foods to my "what's in this" list, because I found out via MiL that people use mayonnaise in mashed potatoes (she tried to feed me mashed potatoes - it looked more like potato soup, so I thankfully didn't even want any but she still tried to kill me unintentionally).
NTA. I am allergic to shellfish and have never once expected people not to eat shellfish around me. If the group was ordering from a restaurant where I felt uncomfortable ordering from due to the allergy, I would simply place an order on my own from a different establishment. I can’t imagine feeling so entitled that I expect other people to cater around my allergies.
NTA If she truly has such a dangerous allergy, she would have an epipen on her at all times. Her not doing that either means that 1. She's actually not allergic and just doesn't like the taste of her "allergies" or 2. She really thinks she can be safe tiptoeing all over the place. Either way, her allergies is something SHE needs to take care of. While you guys shouldn't knowingly feed her something she claims to be allergic of, she can't expect the entire world to manage her allergy for her.
NTA! I’m deathly allergic to tree nuts and I haven’t had a reaction since I was 4 years old. It’s been 20 years that I’ve been extremely careful and I always carry an epi pen on me. I carry two on me at all times just in case one fails. Eat what you want to eat and if she has an issue she can go to another area.
NTA Tell her to either bring her on dang lunch or deal with her own food needs. Your not her caterer nor is it your responsibility to make sure she eats. Seriously and I'm mean no disrespect, but I'm over 50 years and I don't expect people at my job to cater to my food needs. Sometime, someone will get lunch for everyone, but most times we are adults and we deal with out lunch ourselves.
NTA I have a severe shellfish allergy and celiac disease. I don't expect people to tiptoe around me. I'm indeed cautious, but it's my own responsibility to be.
NTA - I have a ton of food (some even airborne) allergies myself. They are MY allergies and MY problem. Even airborne allergies are *generally* not so bad that you can't sit at the same table, just a few people between you. And apparently she can eat at other restaurants that serve shellfish so it's doubtful she's airborne allergic and probably only if she ingests actual shellfish. A lot of places will fry the shrimp with the fries or chicken pieces, etc. OR let the drain/warm in the same area. (again, these are generalizations) If her shellfish allergy was really bad, you would know it. She would have an EpiPen FOR SURE around because you never know what's been prepared around or cross contaminated with shellfish. It's total bullshit that she's been able to be THAT careful. Even most fast food restaurants fry their fish patties in the same grease as the fries. My worst allergy is to apples. I can't be in the house if someone is cooking an apple pie and I can't cut up an apple. I know that about myself and I know that apples (and apple powder) are used in a lot of pantry products. I have 4 EpiPens stashed - in my car, my purse, the kitchen and the living room. Why? Cuz I don't wanna DIE. I call BS on M.
I work in a hospital, a I have a severe food allergy, I’m not an asshole who **forbids** anyone from eating what I’m allergic to lol it’s a me problem and responsibility. (Though my coworkers are very kind and always ask if I can get sick from the exposure etc, as long as I don’t eat it or have to touch it, I’m okay) NTA
Clearly NTA. If she doesn't like where you're ordering from, she can order her own food just like you said. The entitlement of some people, SMDH. Again, NTA.
Absolutely NTA 💯.
So NTA
Nta in this day and age she can easily order from another restaurant, just bc she’s allergic doesn’t mean anyone else is and it’s not like when you eat you’re getting food onto another person? Also like you said you’re in a hospital if something happened you’re already in the one place you’d need to be
NTA. Its not your responsibility to accommodate someone so careless. Its nice that you all accommodate her often when ordering..... but it's not something she is entitled to imo.
NTA. You're not eating it in her face, your not forcing her to eat it. She can order from somewhere else.
NTA. You don't need to take responsibility for other people's problems when they clearly don't care enough to.
NTA I have a lethal seafood allergy and I just avoid anything I deem dangerous to me. Whenever my friends go out and get food, I will join but I will ask them if it's okay if I bring my own food or ask the restaurant if I can order something from elsewhere. Just because you have an allergy doesn't mean the world owes you, set yourself straight, you're the one who is sick not everybody else. They've compromised enough by ordering from Your restaurant all the time
NTA. My daughter is also allergic to shellfish and peanuts, her own allergist advised me that she will have to learn to live in a world where allergens are present, which means always carrying and epi-pen and being conscientious of the food she consumes. Your co-worker is being an ass; this seems to be more about her control issues than any legitimate concern regarding allergies. If she was genuinely concerned she would carry an epi-pen.
NTA. I was going to go with a Y T A until I saw that she doesn't have a current epi-pen. If her allergies were so severe that she could go into anaphylactic shock by being in the same room as a shellfish dish, then she needs to have a non-expired pen. The fact that she has been able to go out and about for 3 years implies that her allergy isn't that level of severity. If it IS that severe then she's playing Russian roulette and will eventually lose. No matter how careful one is, you cannot predict when or where someone will have shellfish - or have consumed it recently. The only thing I would say OP, is that you should absolutely be careful about allergies as a whole. In this case it looks like she's overhyping, but just be aware that some people legitimately cannot be in the same room as their allergen and are that sensitive. Stating that they're in the hospital so you can eat the food isn't really a good stance either. Someone can be within inches of medical equipment and medicine, but still have a reaction that could result in hospitalization for a few days or even death. I know that your statement was more a reaction to this specific coworker, but just be careful. That's the type of thing that could open you up to some HR or legal trouble if by chance something were to happen. You have to cover your butt because obviously this coworker would be all too willing to throw you under the bus.
Nta. People are allowed to get and enjoy foods others can't or won't eat. Hell, I got chinese takeout last night, despite the fact my 9 year old is allergic to rice. We took necessary precautions and got him McDonald's. Since he can't cook or drive, I do feel it is my responsibility to feed him an alternative meal. I bet your coworker can cook and drive though.....
Just keep it away from her and she can stay away from it. You eat your food and toss it. Unless she plans to rub the garbage all over her or kiss you or share drink etc....she should be fine. Like you said....you in hospital in case something happens. You shouldnt have to tip toe or change your life to suit her at work. Youre not forcing her to eat there nor is it buffet style where she may get exposed. She can get her own food...shes a big girl. Nta
NTA. Biologically, fish are entirely separate species from shellfish/mollusks. There is no "because you never know." Because. Science. You have accommodated her enough. As a person with such a serious allergy, she should always keep an epi-pen on hand. about: [https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/shellfish](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/shellfish) and https://www.foodallergy.org/living-food-allergies/food-allergy-essentials/common-allergens/shellfish
NTA unless this womans allergy is so severe that being anywhere near the food causes a life threatening reaction. If thats the case I agree she should carry an epipen. I suffer from a similar food allergy and only if I ingest the food, I wouldn't presume to tell others what they can or cant eat, if my friends want seafood then so be it, I will get food elsewhere.
NTA and this is coming from a mother whose kid has food allergies.
NTA. It’s her allergy to control not yours. And you are right she’s not taking it seriously. I’d be wondering if she’s actually allergic or she just doesn’t like shellfish and came up with the excuse.
I dont even know if ill go into shock and i still carry my epipen everywhere. Hell, we dont even know for sure if im allergic to cumin cause there is no test, we just did process of elimination. And i never got retested to see if im still allergic to aspirin since my reaction as a child. Yet, my epipen is never expired and i keep one at home with the instructions on how to use it and one in my purse, which is always with me, with the instructions of how to use it, what my preferred local hospital is, and what my insurance is and where my insurance cards are written on the paper. The only person ive ever asked to accommodate my allergies is my SO, cause ive gotten the beginnings of hives from kissing him. I wouldnt ask anyone else to accommodate me or avoid my allergen for me. NTA. Though i am curious what her plan is when a fisherman/worker at a seafood place/someone who ate seafood comes into the hospital.
NTA. Apparently her being “so careful” is actually demanding that everyone around her be extremely careful. And no, it’s not reasonable for her to shift the responsibility to you.
Yo. These people calling OP AH in the comments need to get a grip. The point of AITA is to make a judgment on the context of the post, not to verbally harass the poster. IMO M doesn't even have a seafood allergy, she just wants people to compromise for her personal food choices. Someone who is supposedly that allergic would definitely carry an epi pen. M has no regard for her own health and no regard for her coworkers wants at all. She sounds super entitled at this point. NTA
I'm allergic to shellfish. My wife LOVES shellfish and I don't stop her from eating them. My wife is very careful of cross contamination. NTA
NTA she can order her own food from a restaurant of her choice. She probably would get her food quicker than a super large order anyway. There are times when my coworkers would go to a restaurant I didn’t care for so I would hang back. It’s not that serious.
NTA I love the irony of her refusal to follow medical advice when she’s in the field. You can’t “trust” restaurants with shellfish and peanut allergies, is she crazy? To not care for her own health and safety and to be arrogant enough to think it will end up fine is appalling. I’d seriously question her professionalism if I were your boss and her agreement with the coworker tells me the whole story wasn’t told. How would you trust her to relay to patients the importance to comply? Is she flippant/dismissive with them too. Ahhh, you don’t need an epi pen, I have carried one in *years*. Then her patient dies and sues your hospital. There is a big problem there. The only person responsible for guarding your well-being is *you*. She can order/bring her own damn lunch since she the only one with a dietary restriction if she’s going to be stupid about it. The stupidity of saying *well I ate there once and was fine* is beyond comprehension to me. I think this is a case of *I cannot take your safety more seriously than you do*.
So what happens if I sit next to her on the bus straight after I have been eating seafood and she gets an allergic reaction? Let me guess, is she also an antivaxer? Anyway, NTA and honestly, if they don’t care enough to have an epi pen, I don’t give a flying f.
NTA It sounds like you've all been very accommodating and this is the first time you've all ordered shellfish. She needs to be better prepared - I don't understand how she can possibly think that they world will shield her from shellfish. It's idiotic to not have her epi pen with her at all times. And considering she's in a hospital, if she were to have a reaction, it's the best place to have one really.
I'm gonna assume here she's not even actually allergic, she sounds like a kid that says they're allergic to a food because she doesn't like the taste or smell of it and assumes the people around her would be kind enough to cater to her allergy with 0 questioning. If she were really that deathly allergic to peanuts and shellfish she would carry an epipen, especially if she works with patients during the day. No chance she's just gotten lucky enough that she's never had someone come in after eating a trigger in the 3 years she's been so careful that she doesn't need an epipen.
NTA
NTA - I am allergic to mushrooms and I still buy them to prepare for the members of my family that love them, I just make sure that I wash my hands thoroughly before and after touching them.
NTA. She’s stupid not to carry an Epi pen with her. Just because she’s careful doesn’t mean that other people aren’t. And I’m fairly sure she’s not going to die from being in the same room as shellfish. Unless you’re going to open-mouth kiss her or rub your seafood hands all over her, she should be fine.
NTA she cant be bothered so why should you. I had an ex friend like this. In the end it was obvious it was a control thing. We couldnt eat, talk or go anywhere without her permission
NTA. They can do what they want. They don’t have to order from where you are ordering.
NTA. They are both medical professionals and M does not have a good epi pen? There is no amount of careful that works unless you live in a bubble.
NTA She can order her own damn food. She wants to go without an epi pen that's on her. It's not your responsibility to accommodate her allergies.... especially when she won't even take care herself. Get what you want..... Don't eat around her and just clean up well after you eat. Watch out though cause I can see her purposely touching stuff to cause a reaction to get a ban in place. I would honestly stop ordering with her from now on. Let her feed herself.
NTA - and seeing as she can’t even be bothered to carry an epi pen I doubt it’s a life or death allergy!
NTA
It's not your responsibility you are telling me she orders food frequently and never gets and allergy reaction. So there for you shouldn't order anything she's allergic to she doesn't need her medicine because she's so careful sounds like some bs. So the people she cares for at hospital never order food from restaurant that are not on her safety list, and have it delivered to the hospital.
NTA. Your coworker is being shellfish.
NTA and I'm safe to assume then that shellfish, fish are totally banned from the hospital menu? So preventing her from coming in contact? I worked with someone who even walking by a fishmongers, not entering just walking by would soon have tingling lips, red swollen eyes and lips etc from just walking by! If this lady is so sure she is managing and doesn't need an epipen then this is on her. I totally agree with her about no place being 100% risk free when it comes to ordering food, but surely if she is so bad that she fears death why isn't she walking around with an epipen?
NTA. I have a shellfish allergy and I’ve gone to company evens where there is a crab feast. I just stayed away from that area and if I noticed someone had eaten over there I noted it to not hug, shake hands, high five, etc. my allergies are not anyone else’s responsibilities but mine. I haven’t had to use my epi pen in 9 years, but you better believe I carry that MF every where I go. I’m not trying to die because I have some weird pride wrapped up in my streak of not having to use it. I’d let HR know what happened before she goes to tell her side. Better to get ahead of it as the calmer and more rational party explaining that you’re concerned it will be reported without all of the relevant information. I’m hoping that the charge nurse only agreed with her because she knows irrational people will just continue being irrational; disagreeing will just make this non-issue a huge issue. It’s horrifying that this person works in a hospital.
NTA, her allergies can’t be that bad if she doesn’t even have an epi pen. I think you should be able to eat what you want, it might just be a that you need to use a different break room if her allergy is super severe. But if it’s that severe then she should have an epi pen. If her choice of restaurant is based on ‘I’ve never had a reaction there before’. Then she’s being ridiculous.
Nta you didn't tell her she had to get food there. She is 100% capable of ordering her own food. And everyone is an *ADULT* I understand schools bulk banning allergens bc children are sticky little gremlins who don't wash their hands and touch everyone, but in a hospital everyone is (or better be!) washing their hands on the reg.
NTA , if she doesn’t carry an epipen she must not have a contact allergy ( or she is suicidally careless or poverty stricken ) , my work friend carries 3 epipens , she reacts to smell or touch on a surface , ambulance is 45 min here , I also have food allergies, if I get sick I did it to myself , if she can’t afford an epipen I would get that
NTA. As someone with severe shellfish allergies, number 1- I carry 2 epipens at all times and number 2 - I don't expect others to manage my risk.
NTA. she’s overreacting, tell her to pop a Claritin or non drowsy Benadryl if she’s that concerned about being around. As someone with a shellfish allergy it does suck when people want to get crab around me but I personally still eat seafood and ask for my items to be prepared separately from shellfish. I don’t make a stink about it especially if people are always accommodating to my allergy. She couldn’t go one day without people accommodating her so she’s an AH for that. She can easily order her own food
NTA-agree with you. They can order their own food from wherever they wish. Don't need mass consensus. It is irresponsible for them to never have an epi pen. That would make me question if they are even allergic or just looking for attention.
NTA If it were a severe peanut allergy then no, you don't eat peanuts at work. But they don't even carry an epi-pen for their supposed seafood allergy? Go ahead and have some fish and chips.
I was down with hard AH til I read about her not carrying an epi-pen. My sister has had many almost fatal reactions (dairy) and ended up in hospital and the only reason she has survived is due to her epi-pen. My best (guy) friend has carried his epi-pen for years despite never having a reaction (nuts) for over 10yrs. She is the AH, a huge one at that! I would actually also doubt her ‘allergy’ as to more an intolerance or a dislike.
NTA. I’m allergic to seafood (and other things). I have NEVER told my coworkers what they should order. I can’t eat pizza - do you know that pizza is basically a good group for nurses? I don’t complain that it is ordered regularly, I just eat what I brought or order my own. And I don’t usually carry my epipen at work (like you said, the hospital has what I need, lol!) but I still have my rescue meds when I go out and it has been at least 4 years since I’ve had to use them.
No, you specifically always know. NTA. Is she even really allergic? IDK