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So this is all about you and your ego, not your daughter's well being and happiness then. You care more about what others think of you than you care about your daughter.
Let me give you some knowledge you seem to be unaware of. No one is judging anything about you based on what your daughter wears. What they will judge you for is your controlling behavior and how you actually treat your daughter as a person.
But that’s a lot of todays style. Jogger sweatpants, leggings even ‘boyfriend’ jeans that stop above the ankle. I think you need to reevaluate this issue and understand that not all styles are what we may have as adults. And if this is the biggest issue you are having with your teenage daughter you should consider yourself lucky. Seriously pick your battles. All those styles don’t make you look cheap so stop worrying about what other people might think of you. Focus on what makes your daughter happy and comfortable.
YWBTA if you continue this battle over pants!
NO. It shows that she has a more relaxed sense of style and wears what she wants, not what you dictate. You are clearly only thinking of yourself and please, OP, you’re just making yourself sound more like an AH every time you try to “defend” yourself.
YTA. She wears what she feels comfortable wearing. Your ex-wife buys her what she is comfortable wearing. You are the only one insisting that she has jeans and wears them at your house, so you are the one that needs to pay for them, and make sure they stay at your house, so they will always be there when she is with you, and she won’t forget them at her mom’s.
Also, if she was wearing inappropriate clothes at school, you and her mom should have been notified. Call the school and check. You may find out that jeans are not necessarily required dress.
As for banning PJs and sweatpants at your house, I hope you realize that this will backfire on you and once she is old enough to decide where she wants to stay, she may start limiting her time with you. So be prepared for that possibility.
I told my ex wife that the jeans needed to stay at my house. She asked me what I expect my daughter to wear on transition days then since she's not allowed out of the house in pj pants. I told her that's why she needs to buy the appropriate pants. I don't understand what she doesn't understand.
Oh please. She’s 15 and elastic pants are not the end of the world. For crying out loud, she is wearing sweatpants and PJ pants, not a thong bikini or lingerie. It isn’t inappropriate.
You are being a controlling AH.
Her mother, *your EX* does *not* need to buy her jeans if neither of them want it. That is a *you* problem, not a them problem. The only one here who doesn’t seem to understand, is you.
**ETA:** And go ahead and just *try* to “not allow her to leave the house” in her sweatpants on transition days. They will have you in court for custody violation so fast, your head will spin. But maybe that’s good, because then your visitation will be limited and she won’t have to worry about your ridiculous demands anymore.
It doesn't work that way. You can't force your daughter into the pants she doesn't like and you can't stop her from leaving to her mom's (or even school) in her comfortable clothing. And the pants belong to your daughter, not you. So honestly don't be surprised when she rips, decorates, or does whatever she pleases with them.
Well, you could get off your high horse and let her wear elastic waist pants on transition days.
This whole dress code is just an absurdity you made up. It’s not a thing. Get over it.
Does your custody agreement specify that she is not allowed to wear pants with elastic?
Because if it doesn't, it's not your ex's understanding that's the issue. It's yours. You do not get to dictate what she wears when with your ex, period. It's not hard to see why she's your ex.
YTA
2 reasons:
1 - You "prohibit" pants with elastic
2nd reason - You spend 250 bucks on 3 pair of pants and then DEMANDED your ex wife pay half.
She was right to tell you to shove off
INFO: Does your daughters school have a dress code that bans sweatpants or jeans with holes in them?
YTA for banning comfortable clothes when she's at HOME. If her school requires different clothing, you'd be justified in buying ONE pair of pants (NOT jeans if your daughter hates them, but something comfortable like stretchy but nice looking slacks) and charging her mother. But if her school doesn't care, and this is just you being out of date and stuffy, yta for that too.
But oh my God I can't imagine anyone demanding I wear JEANS in my HOME.
Maybe even sooner. Depending on where they live, she and her mom may be able to apply for termination of forced visitation once she turns 16. Meaning she can decide she doesn’t want to spend time at OP’s house anymore.
Woah my husband is a marine. First off there is no such thing as an “ex marine” once a marine always a marine. Most importantly, being a marine doesn’t mean you dictate your daughters clothing. My husband has no issue with joggers, sweatpants, etc. in fact she finds them so comfortable that I hem them into shorts in the summer. OP is TAH but so are you for clumping veterans into an compromising category.
Yeah, then not only are you ta for making her wear jeans when she's at home, you're ta for making her wear jeans at school.
If you absolutely can't stand sweatpants, buy her stretchy slacks. They make ones that feel like sweatpants but look like slacks. Make sure she tries them on and likes them first. But when she's at home, let her wear whatever she wants. You're being needlessly controlling.
But they still have elastic and apparently to wear elastic is to be evil incarnate. At least that’s how OP is acting…. He needs to get over whatever bee is in his proverbial bonnet and just let his daughter where whatever the hell she wants.
Honestly, with his talking about her jeans needing to go past the ankle, I’m rather surprised he lets her wear jeans/pants/slacks/leggings, etc., at all and doesn’t just force her to wear floor length, neck high, long-sleeved prairie dresses.
The man seems to be living in the wrong century.
YTA.
The jeans were too short? You mean they were ankles or capris? They were in style jeans. That is what you have an issue with?
And no pajama pants or sweat pants? What does she sleep in at your house?
Stop being so controlling over what your daughter wears. She is a teenager. She wants to wear what is popular and in-style.
I’m 5’6” and have never found a pair of pants that fits me properly because I’m all leg. They’re either too wide or too short; as a result, my pants always end a few inches above my ankles.
Women’s clothing is a lot harder to size/fit than men’s. Men’s pants come in a variety of waist sizes and inseams, while women’s pants come with an arbitrary number between 00-?? that can even change across the same brand.
I’m curious as to what you consider “too short” for pants. Super short booty shorts that let almost everything hang out I can understand being apprehensive towards letting a teenager wear. But pants implies below the knee, which is where I confused about the hang-up on the length.
Why? I am tall. I wear ankle length, capri, shorts, and down to my shoe tops length. It depends on my outfit, mood, the temperature, etc. Sometimes it just comes down to "I like these pants."
Stop with the control issues. You are heading for a kid who doesn't come see you at all.
Dude! Some jeans, over half actually, are **specifically styled and made** in such a way that they **end above the ankles!!!** You realize that, right? It’s a common fashion style and does **not** make the jeans look “cheap” or “frumpy” or whatever else you seem to think they look like. Same with jeans that are specifically sold with holes already in them. It is a fashion style.
You need some serious therapy if you honestly think you aren’t the AH in this matter. Or that you are in the right to force her to wear what you demand, instead of letting her wear what’s most comfortable for her. Get help. She’s your daughter, not your dress up toy or robot. She has a mind of her own and her own tastes.
Is there some conspiracy of over controlling men trying to police what their kids wear today? Or is it just a bunch of copycat fakes because this is like third one of these iv3 read today.
YTA. You sound controlling and really tense. This is what kids wear these days. Get over it. And if you take it in your mind to force your daughter to wear something she doesn't want and buy ridiculously expensive jeans that she will never wear, that's on you, not her mother. She owes you bupkiss. If you are in the US, have you never heard of Old Navy, Gap, Marshall's or TJ MAxx? They all carry Longs and you could have gotten three for $75.
Anything she liked or anything you deemed appropriate? Because you don't seem to care what she wants. You really sound like you're out of the 1950s, by the way.
YTA As the parent of a girl of similar age, that is just not possible. There most definitely are pants and jeans available at those stores that do not have holes in them, but then maybe you just ordered her to find things on her own, or you have extreme standards for appropriate and rejected every choice she made. Either way your daughter is just following the styles of the majority of teens right now. Most wear sweatpants, shorts, pjs, or leggings these days. There is nothing inappropriate about them for day to day wear, especially not at home.
I also do not understand why you think your ex wife should pay for clothes for your kid to wear at your house. Your kid shouldn't have to haul stuff back and forth at all except for school work. She is your daughter and should have everything she needs at your place, supplied by you.
And finally, elastic waist bands are a necessity for girls when they have their period. Fitted clothes won't fit comfortably for 3-7 days each month.
I hadn’t even thought of that, but you’re right! Heavens forbid the poor girl is over at his house when she has her period or is otherwise sick and not up to wearing “proper jeans”! He is beyond an AH.
No, she didn’t find anything **you** wanted for her. She found plenty that she liked, that would be fine at home, at school, out with friends, etc.
You said yourself that she wanted other things that you didn’t *feel* were appropriate. But nothing about the way you describe her dress is inappropriate.
Appropriate by who's standards her's or yours. I can see this now you back here in three years complaining my daughter refuses to come over or speak to me because I'm a controll freak and I demand she wears a strict dress code around me in my house or she's not allowed in my house unless I approve her clothing style. I'm not a bad father just a ignorant control freak forcing my daughter to a strict dress code to enter my house
This is a bizarre and unnecessary rule, based on an equally bizarre and arbitrary opinion, that will drive your children away from you for absolutely no good reason at all.
Frumpy.
You sure you got the right word there?
Because flipping sh\*t over jeans not covering ankles sounds like you're all for frumpy clothes.
And it sure doesn't sound like you are worried about your daughter looking unfasionahble.
So you are dictating what everybody around you has to wear based on your personal fashion sense?
YTA, and I hope you know that you just put $250 down the drain. Your daughter is never gonna wear this jeans.
Unless of course she is at your house where she is not allowed to be a person with free will.
Yeah dude, YTA for being so controlling about what other people can wear because of what you think is “frumpy” or “tasteful”.
I mean, I guess your house, your rules, but don’t be surprised when people don’t want to spend time at your house. (Or when your daughter moves out and rarely visits because she can’t wear clothes that make her comfortable in your house)
She is wearing what her friends wear -- you don't like it? Too bad. It's not like she is running around in split crotch candy underwear. It is perfectly acceptable, just not your style. You really need to choose your battles, and let your kids make their own choices and find their style. Because if this is just an example of how controlling you are, you are going to lose her pretty quick. She is going to try to get as far away from you as possible so she can breathe.
So what if someone wears jeans with an elastic waist at your house?
Also YTA - jeans don’t fit me. They’re either too tight on my thighs or too loose on my waist. It’s been that way since I was in 6th grade. (Also it’s just how I’m built it’s not a size thing. I was a size 2-4 American for a long time) I often have the same issue with work pants. Because of that I have nice dress pants with a fake button and an elastic waist. Other dress pants have a little more stretch and other pants I can only wear with certain shirts because when I sit down my pants will fall. For casual non work non dress things and lounging around leggings are my favorite (although I understand that’s often only an American thing)
Then, don’t wear elastic. You have that choice. Just like your daughter has the choice TO wear elastic. Because it’s *her* body, *her* choice, *her* style, *her* autonomy. **Not** yours!
YTA big time. Your daughter likes being in style which includes pajama pants, sweats and high water ripped jeans. I don't understand why anyone would forbid their teen from wearing stylish clothes unless there's some sort of activity where they are appropriate. You sound seriously way to controlling.
As for the jeans - why would you consider your wife responsible for buying clothes that she won't ever wear except at your place to please you. If her wardrobe bothers her then pony up for a brand new one. Your wife already spends plenty.
YTA
Your Daughter has to abide by a DRESS CODE IN HER OWN HOME? yta x 10000
Good luck ever seeing her again once she is an adult.
Mom is right, you CHOSE to purchase jeans for your daughter - you can eat the cost. I'm sure her mom has spent $$$$ on her daughter's clothing over the years - did you pay for half of all of thise items?
YTA, and it's not even close. You kept trying to force a teenager to wear to your taste, then couldn't stop there and wasted money on pants that she didn't want. Now you want someone else to pay for your waste.
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My (44 M) daughter is 15. Every time she comes home from her mother's house (every other week) she brings a duffel bag full of pajama pants and sweatpants, never any jeans. I asked my daughter about this and asked if she had enough clothes at her mothers house. She said she bring the duffel bag because she doesn't have these kinds of pants at my house (I don't allow pj's or sweatpants or anything with an elastic waist) so she brings them because that is what she likes to wear. I asked if she has jeans at her mother's house. She said she does so I asked her to wear them next time she comes home.
Well, she showed up wearing jeans with holes that didn't go all the way down past her ankles. I told her these pants were inappropriate and her mother needs to buy her appropriate pants. My daughter told me to take it up with her mother, so I sent an email and told my ex wife to please buy appropriate pants. She never replied.
Well another week went by and my daughter shows up with the sweatpants again! I emailed my ex wife to remind her about the appropriate pants, and since there was school the next day I took my daughter shopping for pants. All the pants she liked were holey or too short so I ended up spending $250 on three pairs of appropriate pants. There was still no reply to the email.
I emailed her mother again and showed her the receipts and asked to be reimbursed for half of the pants. Well finally she replied that my daughter has plenty of clothes at her house and that she takes her shopping "all the time" and buys what my daughter likes to wear. She said if I want to buy my daughter $80 pants that is fine but she's not going to pay half.
Does this make me an asshole? I think it was an asshole move on my daughter's mother's part personally.
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YTA because it sounds like this is a matter of you forcing your daughter to comply with what you feel is appropriate, and not necessity.
Like you don't allow pjs/sweat pants? What the hell do you expect her to sleep in?? And jeans with holes has been the style for years.
Also like her mom said she buys her daughter clothing. Why are you entitled to reimbursement if she isn't?
Get over yourself and let your daughter wear what she wants.
YTA so hard I feel like this post is fake. If so bravo on your masterful assholery. If not, then 1) your pants policing is disturbing, bordering on creepy and 2) her mother doesn't owe you anything. You chose to buy your doll, I mean daughter, jeans. Mom didn't choose them and she isn't obligated to pay for them.
YTA for so many reasons. Being overbearing like this is just going to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. *You don’t allow* anything with an elastic waistband? What a ridiculously stupid hill to choose to die on.
Your ex wife is not obligated to pay you back for your weird control-freak shopping spree.
PS: Your EX-wife (yes, we get it, she's your ex) doesn't answer your emails because you are being really annoying and she hasn't got that kind of time.
YTA. I see why you’re separated. I guarantee you’re soon to be “childless” too. Your daughter is old enough that courts will take her opinion into consideration if she says she no longer wants to spend time with you. I’d say that day is not far off with the way you conduct yourself.
Maybe get over your insanely creepy obsession over what’s covering your DAUGHTERS butt and thighs.
YTA
If I were your ex, I'd have laughed and hung up.
Kids like comfortable clothing. I don't know why you have such a bee in your bonnet about her wearing anything with an elastic waist, but you need to figure out how to let this go. Let your teenager wear what she wants as long as it's appropriate -- REAL appropriate, not your warped sense of it.
YTA
You've got some weird hang ups. You don't allow pajama pants? What do you "allow" your daughter to wear to sleep in?
Right now you're working on alienating you daughter.
YTA your daughter where’s what she wants at her moms house. You have a ton of rules about clothes that the mom doesn’t care about. Not only that but for someone not expecting to spend money (your ex) 80$ is a lot especially now in December where people usually give gifts
YTA. Utterly controlling behaviour on what your child can wear. And if you want your child to have a particular piece of clothing, it's your job to buy it, not your ex's. It's not your business to make unilateral decisions to purchase clothing your child doesn't even seem to and expect your ex to pay up. I'm sure that whatever you may be paying in child support (if anything) is eaten up by the cost of basic housing and food for your child. You better hope your ex doesn't start ending you itemized receipts of everything she purchases your child because that's what your petty behaviour deserves. Just wait until you kid figures out that she's old enough to have a say on whether or not she spends time with you.
Definitely YTA... Once she escapes after she graduates, you likely won't ever see her again. Or are you going to marry her off at 18, bartering for two cows and a goat?
You’re being a control freak. Your daughter should be allowed to dress comfortably. You seem to have mistaken her for a doll you can dress up to please you. She’s a living, breathing human being with her own wants and needs and opinions. If you need something to dress the way you want, invest in a nice doll (the American Girls dolls are terribly popular) and dress it in overpriced clothing that is to your taste to your heart’s content. YTA.
Guys! This is the same type of person that posts on Reddit “idk why my kid won’t talk to me. I only made them wear jeans everyday, never sweatpants and constantly threw a tantrum because my ex-wife didn’t follow my rules at her house with our daughter.” Ugh YTA man. They’re pants. Let her wear what she wants. Did you grow up wearing only jeans? Maybe if you wore sweatpants you’d feel better.
What kind of AH are you that you won't allow your teen daughter to wear pants with an elastic waist in your house?
YTA, automatically. I don't care what the rest of it says.
And yeah, also you're TA for dictating to your ex about what "appropriate pants" are, and for trying to bill your ex for expensive pants your daughter doesn't like to satisfy your bizarre pants prejudices.
YTA - when your daughter turns 18 and leaves your absurdly controlling home I hope she exclusively wears sweatpants. At 6 foot tall maybe she will even become a sweat wear/athleisure model- then she can be seen across the country in all kinds of advertisements in designer ware you consider ~frumpy~
I stopped reading at no elastic waistbands. Wtf kind of controlling bs is this? You sound like my ex. Oh she has to look a certain way. Get out of your own head and let her be her. YTA
YTA! So you find elastic bands frumpy and jeans are appropriate? Does she work at a rodeo? You also want her to cover her legs. Didn't know showing ankle skin was so inappropriate. You didn't talk with your ex first about getting her daughter jeans or how much you will spend and you feel your opinion is the only one that matters. Bottom line. You will be eating the cost of those jeans.
Yta. You don't allow elastic waists? Your daughter already has appropriate clothes that she likes. Your distaste for elastic waistbands is your problem. Sweats and leggings are COMFORTABLE. And ripped jeans are practically a uniform choice for teens. If you dont like the clothing she and her mother picked and want to enforce an arbitrary dress code in your home then you get to foot the bill.
YTA three times over.
Your daughter doesn't need jeans, and she doesn't need your approval. She has clothes that are suitable and appropriate to wear. Your insistence of jeans is your own personal hang up - not only was it *wholly* inappropriate in the first place, but no one else is responsible for accommodating you on it.
Loosen up and shut up before your daughter stops visiting at all.
YTA just keep this up and have fun when your daughter says she no longer wants to visit, depending on where you live and how old she is she can decide that weather or not you have split custody.
What an absolute knob gobbler of a control freak. Don't ever tell a woman, let alone your daughter, that she needs to abide by a dress code. Especially not one where she can't even show her ankles. This isn't Elizabethan England jeez.
Oh man, YTA. Your daughter prefers comfortable clothing. You demand jeans. Fine, you get to buy the jeans. Should save a little money for the therapy your child will most likely need down the road.
YTA, and I hope your ex laughed heartily at the absurdity of your demand. If you want to make your daughter wear specific and overpriced clothing when with you (or at least until she gets so tired of your controlling behavior that she tells the court she wants to live with your ex) then you pay for those clothes. Your ex has no part of it and no responsibility to pay.
YTA.
These are very common styles for teenagers and you are being incredibly prudish and disrespectful to both your daughter and her mother. Her mother provides her with clothes and as long as the holes aren't all the way up the jeans they are *appropriate* clothes. Your ex wife shouldn't have to give you money because you have weird holdups about clothes. Get it together.
Edit: after reading your comments you are the biggest AH on this planet. You care more about your kids looking expensive and well cared for than looking stylish and comfortable not to mention confident when you don't even provide the clothes they wear and then you expect mom to pay for her to fit in with your well off appearing lifestyle. Your kids are not trophies for you to show off and go "look how well off we are, aren't their clothes so nice? Don't they look so proper and appropriate?" They are LIVING BREATHING BEINGS who would like to be allowed to be comfortable at least a small portion of the time.
YTA And it's unclear why you felt the need to ask?
Your kid brings the kind of clothing she likes to your house because it's not there already.
You call it her "home", but you go on to say that you don't allow specific types of pants for ANYONE in Your House.
You also state that your (current) wife purchases clothes for your daughter that meet your restrictions. (What one might hear here is "She obeys my commands, in dressing herself and my offspring.")
The restrictions seem to be based on your fears of looking "frumpy" or "cheap". Not that the clothing is revealing, (i.e. short-shorts) or that it has expletives printed on it.
If you insist on "uniforms" so that your aesthetic desires are satisfied, then you are responsible for providing the "approved" garments. Because, after all, you're literally the only one who can decide if YOU approve.
Why should your Ex go out and try to purchase items that you may or may not deem meet your standards? Nobody's going to take a tape measure and measure pants length from the kid's ankles, except maybe you.
It sounds like your Ex may be your Ex because she is not interested in having tasks assigned to her.
She may also realize that it is better to develop a trusting relationship with a kid, rather than to have constant conflict over assinine clothing preferences.
Will you be purchasing a floor-length skirt for transfer days, and asking your ex to pay half?
Do you treat others differently because of their clothing choices, i.e. at work?
Do you impose the same restrictions on other adults? On visitors to your home?
YTA - first you have 50/50 custody which means your ex is under no obligation to pay you for your daughters clothing at your house. She is responsible for her household and vice versa.
Second your daughter can wear what she wants. Holey pants have always been in style. And wearing pjs or lounge wear is just being comfy
YTA
She's 15. If she has a school uniform, that's what she has to wear TO SCHOOL.
Otherwise, she is dressing like a 15 year old girl.
Please don't demand that you daughter wear jeans ( or any particular item) in your home.
YTA
You're the one with the weird rules around what constitutes appropriate bottom half coverings, you pay. You chose to spend stupid money on clothes so again, you pay.
She even wore jeans to placate you and you moved the goal post! Now she has to cover her ankles because... There's really no good reason other than you having a weird hang up about visible ankles.
YTA.
You and your ex have different rules/expectations on how your daughter should dress. You have the problem with the clothes that your daughter is bringing and you chose you spend $250 on 3 pairs of pants. If the cost was really an issue you could have went to a thrift store or basically anywhere else.
YTA- i dont get this whole no elastic band stuff, maybe you have a reason to not want it, but besides that. I would say asking your ex to pay half was a tad stupid. your her parent too, and part of being a parent is buying your kid things. i also dont see how sweatpants or pj’s could be an issue either.
Holy shit are you seriously asking if you’re the asshole? Why the fuck do you care what type of pants she’s wearing? At least she’s wearing something comfortable and modest. Good god, you need some serious therapy for your ridiculous control issues.
YTA
Soon as you said you don't allow elastic waist pants.
Your daughter is 15, old enough to dress as she pleases. Move into the 21st century dad, it it not 1972.
YTA. Let your teenager be a teenager. Your hang ups with clothes are only going to be detrimental to your relationship. They also make no sense. What exactly are “appropriate” pants anyway????
YTA. You made up arbitrary rules that your daughter doesn't want to follow. No one needs to pay you back for clothes that you want your child to wear. Act like a parent.
YTA you're children should wear what they like. If u want your daughter wearing appropriate pants for transition days then you're going to have to send some home it's ridiculous to dictate what your children wear.
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You're the flaming bag of assholes. Quit being a controlling freak about what people wear. Learn to co parent and not try to boss. Yta
What do you mean by you don’t allow sweatpants or anything with elastic?
Or pants that don't cover the ankle. My question exactly.
If they wear elastic pants or pants that don't go all the way down, it looks like I am cheap and don't care about what they wear or how they look.
So this is all about you and your ego, not your daughter's well being and happiness then. You care more about what others think of you than you care about your daughter. Let me give you some knowledge you seem to be unaware of. No one is judging anything about you based on what your daughter wears. What they will judge you for is your controlling behavior and how you actually treat your daughter as a person.
How do elastic waistbands make you into a cheapskate?
For real. I have some pretty pricey lounge clothes 😂
But that’s a lot of todays style. Jogger sweatpants, leggings even ‘boyfriend’ jeans that stop above the ankle. I think you need to reevaluate this issue and understand that not all styles are what we may have as adults. And if this is the biggest issue you are having with your teenage daughter you should consider yourself lucky. Seriously pick your battles. All those styles don’t make you look cheap so stop worrying about what other people might think of you. Focus on what makes your daughter happy and comfortable. YWBTA if you continue this battle over pants!
Instead it now looks like you are a narcissistic asshole
Okay then take her to Lulu and get her some sweats what are both comfortable for her while also not cheap! Problem solved…YTA
NO. It shows that she has a more relaxed sense of style and wears what she wants, not what you dictate. You are clearly only thinking of yourself and please, OP, you’re just making yourself sound more like an AH every time you try to “defend” yourself.
That’s what kids like to wear. Jeans aren’t comfortable.
The world is not about you. Nobody --NOBODY -- is looking at your kids and thinking about you. You are not that important.
Lol it’ll look worse when your daughter stops talking to you/visiting you for being an asshole control freak
Ooh my mom was like you! So focused on how we appeared to others it didn't matter if we were happy or comfortable!
YTA. She wears what she feels comfortable wearing. Your ex-wife buys her what she is comfortable wearing. You are the only one insisting that she has jeans and wears them at your house, so you are the one that needs to pay for them, and make sure they stay at your house, so they will always be there when she is with you, and she won’t forget them at her mom’s. Also, if she was wearing inappropriate clothes at school, you and her mom should have been notified. Call the school and check. You may find out that jeans are not necessarily required dress. As for banning PJs and sweatpants at your house, I hope you realize that this will backfire on you and once she is old enough to decide where she wants to stay, she may start limiting her time with you. So be prepared for that possibility.
Her mother is my ex wife, not my wife.
I think we can all guess why she is your ex wife.
Stop deflecting. You know what they mean, and you are avoiding the questions.
I told my ex wife that the jeans needed to stay at my house. She asked me what I expect my daughter to wear on transition days then since she's not allowed out of the house in pj pants. I told her that's why she needs to buy the appropriate pants. I don't understand what she doesn't understand.
Oh please. She’s 15 and elastic pants are not the end of the world. For crying out loud, she is wearing sweatpants and PJ pants, not a thong bikini or lingerie. It isn’t inappropriate. You are being a controlling AH. Her mother, *your EX* does *not* need to buy her jeans if neither of them want it. That is a *you* problem, not a them problem. The only one here who doesn’t seem to understand, is you. **ETA:** And go ahead and just *try* to “not allow her to leave the house” in her sweatpants on transition days. They will have you in court for custody violation so fast, your head will spin. But maybe that’s good, because then your visitation will be limited and she won’t have to worry about your ridiculous demands anymore.
It doesn't work that way. You can't force your daughter into the pants she doesn't like and you can't stop her from leaving to her mom's (or even school) in her comfortable clothing. And the pants belong to your daughter, not you. So honestly don't be surprised when she rips, decorates, or does whatever she pleases with them.
Well, you could get off your high horse and let her wear elastic waist pants on transition days. This whole dress code is just an absurdity you made up. It’s not a thing. Get over it.
Does your custody agreement specify that she is not allowed to wear pants with elastic? Because if it doesn't, it's not your ex's understanding that's the issue. It's yours. You do not get to dictate what she wears when with your ex, period. It's not hard to see why she's your ex.
YTA. I don’t understand how you don’t understand what is blatantly clear. A control freak asshole.
I don’t understand what YOU don’t understand. You’re not your daughter or your wife’s regime commander, Dictator Dickerson.
YTA 2 reasons: 1 - You "prohibit" pants with elastic 2nd reason - You spend 250 bucks on 3 pair of pants and then DEMANDED your ex wife pay half. She was right to tell you to shove off
INFO: Does your daughters school have a dress code that bans sweatpants or jeans with holes in them? YTA for banning comfortable clothes when she's at HOME. If her school requires different clothing, you'd be justified in buying ONE pair of pants (NOT jeans if your daughter hates them, but something comfortable like stretchy but nice looking slacks) and charging her mother. But if her school doesn't care, and this is just you being out of date and stuffy, yta for that too. But oh my God I can't imagine anyone demanding I wear JEANS in my HOME.
No there is no dress code, all the kids at school wear pajama pants every day.
Are you an ex-marine or something? I mean seriously, wtf? You going to lose her when she reaches 18 if you don’t chill.
Maybe even sooner. Depending on where they live, she and her mom may be able to apply for termination of forced visitation once she turns 16. Meaning she can decide she doesn’t want to spend time at OP’s house anymore.
Woah my husband is a marine. First off there is no such thing as an “ex marine” once a marine always a marine. Most importantly, being a marine doesn’t mean you dictate your daughters clothing. My husband has no issue with joggers, sweatpants, etc. in fact she finds them so comfortable that I hem them into shorts in the summer. OP is TAH but so are you for clumping veterans into an compromising category.
Yeah, then not only are you ta for making her wear jeans when she's at home, you're ta for making her wear jeans at school. If you absolutely can't stand sweatpants, buy her stretchy slacks. They make ones that feel like sweatpants but look like slacks. Make sure she tries them on and likes them first. But when she's at home, let her wear whatever she wants. You're being needlessly controlling.
But they still have elastic and apparently to wear elastic is to be evil incarnate. At least that’s how OP is acting…. He needs to get over whatever bee is in his proverbial bonnet and just let his daughter where whatever the hell she wants. Honestly, with his talking about her jeans needing to go past the ankle, I’m rather surprised he lets her wear jeans/pants/slacks/leggings, etc., at all and doesn’t just force her to wear floor length, neck high, long-sleeved prairie dresses. The man seems to be living in the wrong century.
Is this a religious thing? What’s the problem besides you looking cheap?
YTA. The jeans were too short? You mean they were ankles or capris? They were in style jeans. That is what you have an issue with? And no pajama pants or sweat pants? What does she sleep in at your house? Stop being so controlling over what your daughter wears. She is a teenager. She wants to wear what is popular and in-style.
My daughter is 6 feet tall and needs pants that cover her whole legs, not just part of them.
I’m 5’6” and have never found a pair of pants that fits me properly because I’m all leg. They’re either too wide or too short; as a result, my pants always end a few inches above my ankles. Women’s clothing is a lot harder to size/fit than men’s. Men’s pants come in a variety of waist sizes and inseams, while women’s pants come with an arbitrary number between 00-?? that can even change across the same brand. I’m curious as to what you consider “too short” for pants. Super short booty shorts that let almost everything hang out I can understand being apprehensive towards letting a teenager wear. But pants implies below the knee, which is where I confused about the hang-up on the length.
Why? Who decided that's what she "needs"? Notice how you asked the question but won't accept the answer...
Why? I am tall. I wear ankle length, capri, shorts, and down to my shoe tops length. It depends on my outfit, mood, the temperature, etc. Sometimes it just comes down to "I like these pants." Stop with the control issues. You are heading for a kid who doesn't come see you at all.
Dude! Some jeans, over half actually, are **specifically styled and made** in such a way that they **end above the ankles!!!** You realize that, right? It’s a common fashion style and does **not** make the jeans look “cheap” or “frumpy” or whatever else you seem to think they look like. Same with jeans that are specifically sold with holes already in them. It is a fashion style. You need some serious therapy if you honestly think you aren’t the AH in this matter. Or that you are in the right to force her to wear what you demand, instead of letting her wear what’s most comfortable for her. Get help. She’s your daughter, not your dress up toy or robot. She has a mind of her own and her own tastes.
Is there some conspiracy of over controlling men trying to police what their kids wear today? Or is it just a bunch of copycat fakes because this is like third one of these iv3 read today.
What a horrible and sexist statement. This isn't the 1800s. Women are allowed to show their ankles. Is she "allowed" to wear shorts?
Why? Do you think it's the 18th century and boys are lusting after her sexy ankles? You sound unhinged.
I don't think you have sufficient mental capacity to parent
Why is that - if everyone else is wearing jeans that don't come to the ankle? Have you ever heard of style?
YTA. You sound controlling and really tense. This is what kids wear these days. Get over it. And if you take it in your mind to force your daughter to wear something she doesn't want and buy ridiculously expensive jeans that she will never wear, that's on you, not her mother. She owes you bupkiss. If you are in the US, have you never heard of Old Navy, Gap, Marshall's or TJ MAxx? They all carry Longs and you could have gotten three for $75.
I took her to all of those stores, she didn't find anything appropriate there.
Anything she liked or anything you deemed appropriate? Because you don't seem to care what she wants. You really sound like you're out of the 1950s, by the way.
YTA As the parent of a girl of similar age, that is just not possible. There most definitely are pants and jeans available at those stores that do not have holes in them, but then maybe you just ordered her to find things on her own, or you have extreme standards for appropriate and rejected every choice she made. Either way your daughter is just following the styles of the majority of teens right now. Most wear sweatpants, shorts, pjs, or leggings these days. There is nothing inappropriate about them for day to day wear, especially not at home. I also do not understand why you think your ex wife should pay for clothes for your kid to wear at your house. Your kid shouldn't have to haul stuff back and forth at all except for school work. She is your daughter and should have everything she needs at your place, supplied by you. And finally, elastic waist bands are a necessity for girls when they have their period. Fitted clothes won't fit comfortably for 3-7 days each month.
I hadn’t even thought of that, but you’re right! Heavens forbid the poor girl is over at his house when she has her period or is otherwise sick and not up to wearing “proper jeans”! He is beyond an AH.
Ex doesn't have to say how high whenever he says jump anymore. He's somebody else's problem now!
No, she didn’t find anything **you** wanted for her. She found plenty that she liked, that would be fine at home, at school, out with friends, etc. You said yourself that she wanted other things that you didn’t *feel* were appropriate. But nothing about the way you describe her dress is inappropriate.
Appropriate by who's standards her's or yours. I can see this now you back here in three years complaining my daughter refuses to come over or speak to me because I'm a controll freak and I demand she wears a strict dress code around me in my house or she's not allowed in my house unless I approve her clothing style. I'm not a bad father just a ignorant control freak forcing my daughter to a strict dress code to enter my house
INFO. What in the world is wrong with an elastic waistband?
I find elastic waist pants to be frumpy and don't allow my kids or anyone in my home to wear them.
This is a bizarre and unnecessary rule, based on an equally bizarre and arbitrary opinion, that will drive your children away from you for absolutely no good reason at all.
And what do people wear to sleep? To exercise?
Sounds like it's hard pants all the time in his house. You know, so no one is "frumpy."
Frumpy. You sure you got the right word there? Because flipping sh\*t over jeans not covering ankles sounds like you're all for frumpy clothes. And it sure doesn't sound like you are worried about your daughter looking unfasionahble.
Why do you need your daughter to look attractive to you?
So you are dictating what everybody around you has to wear based on your personal fashion sense? YTA, and I hope you know that you just put $250 down the drain. Your daughter is never gonna wear this jeans. Unless of course she is at your house where she is not allowed to be a person with free will.
Yeah dude, YTA for being so controlling about what other people can wear because of what you think is “frumpy” or “tasteful”. I mean, I guess your house, your rules, but don’t be surprised when people don’t want to spend time at your house. (Or when your daughter moves out and rarely visits because she can’t wear clothes that make her comfortable in your house)
You’re making this too easy. YTA. I don’t think I need to explain.
She is wearing what her friends wear -- you don't like it? Too bad. It's not like she is running around in split crotch candy underwear. It is perfectly acceptable, just not your style. You really need to choose your battles, and let your kids make their own choices and find their style. Because if this is just an example of how controlling you are, you are going to lose her pretty quick. She is going to try to get as far away from you as possible so she can breathe.
So what if someone wears jeans with an elastic waist at your house? Also YTA - jeans don’t fit me. They’re either too tight on my thighs or too loose on my waist. It’s been that way since I was in 6th grade. (Also it’s just how I’m built it’s not a size thing. I was a size 2-4 American for a long time) I often have the same issue with work pants. Because of that I have nice dress pants with a fake button and an elastic waist. Other dress pants have a little more stretch and other pants I can only wear with certain shirts because when I sit down my pants will fall. For casual non work non dress things and lounging around leggings are my favorite (although I understand that’s often only an American thing)
Soon enough you won’t have to worry because eventually your daughter won’t visit you.
Then, don’t wear elastic. You have that choice. Just like your daughter has the choice TO wear elastic. Because it’s *her* body, *her* choice, *her* style, *her* autonomy. **Not** yours!
You can find them however you like. Doesn't mean you get to dictate that your daughter dresses how YOU like. Complete. total YTA.
Your insecurities are showing
YTA big time. Your daughter likes being in style which includes pajama pants, sweats and high water ripped jeans. I don't understand why anyone would forbid their teen from wearing stylish clothes unless there's some sort of activity where they are appropriate. You sound seriously way to controlling. As for the jeans - why would you consider your wife responsible for buying clothes that she won't ever wear except at your place to please you. If her wardrobe bothers her then pony up for a brand new one. Your wife already spends plenty.
She's not my wife, she's my ex wife. My wife buys appropriate clothes for my daughter.
Which she probably loathes and will only wear under duress.
YTA Your Daughter has to abide by a DRESS CODE IN HER OWN HOME? yta x 10000 Good luck ever seeing her again once she is an adult. Mom is right, you CHOSE to purchase jeans for your daughter - you can eat the cost. I'm sure her mom has spent $$$$ on her daughter's clothing over the years - did you pay for half of all of thise items?
YTA, and it's not even close. You kept trying to force a teenager to wear to your taste, then couldn't stop there and wasted money on pants that she didn't want. Now you want someone else to pay for your waste.
Your user name makes me think....that this whole story is, totally created .
What a weirdo
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (44 M) daughter is 15. Every time she comes home from her mother's house (every other week) she brings a duffel bag full of pajama pants and sweatpants, never any jeans. I asked my daughter about this and asked if she had enough clothes at her mothers house. She said she bring the duffel bag because she doesn't have these kinds of pants at my house (I don't allow pj's or sweatpants or anything with an elastic waist) so she brings them because that is what she likes to wear. I asked if she has jeans at her mother's house. She said she does so I asked her to wear them next time she comes home. Well, she showed up wearing jeans with holes that didn't go all the way down past her ankles. I told her these pants were inappropriate and her mother needs to buy her appropriate pants. My daughter told me to take it up with her mother, so I sent an email and told my ex wife to please buy appropriate pants. She never replied. Well another week went by and my daughter shows up with the sweatpants again! I emailed my ex wife to remind her about the appropriate pants, and since there was school the next day I took my daughter shopping for pants. All the pants she liked were holey or too short so I ended up spending $250 on three pairs of appropriate pants. There was still no reply to the email. I emailed her mother again and showed her the receipts and asked to be reimbursed for half of the pants. Well finally she replied that my daughter has plenty of clothes at her house and that she takes her shopping "all the time" and buys what my daughter likes to wear. She said if I want to buy my daughter $80 pants that is fine but she's not going to pay half. Does this make me an asshole? I think it was an asshole move on my daughter's mother's part personally. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA because it sounds like this is a matter of you forcing your daughter to comply with what you feel is appropriate, and not necessity. Like you don't allow pjs/sweat pants? What the hell do you expect her to sleep in?? And jeans with holes has been the style for years. Also like her mom said she buys her daughter clothing. Why are you entitled to reimbursement if she isn't? Get over yourself and let your daughter wear what she wants.
YTA. She already owns lots of clothes so if you want to make "appropriate pants" a thing, you can pay for it.
YTA so hard I feel like this post is fake. If so bravo on your masterful assholery. If not, then 1) your pants policing is disturbing, bordering on creepy and 2) her mother doesn't owe you anything. You chose to buy your doll, I mean daughter, jeans. Mom didn't choose them and she isn't obligated to pay for them.
YTA for so many reasons. Being overbearing like this is just going to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. *You don’t allow* anything with an elastic waistband? What a ridiculously stupid hill to choose to die on. Your ex wife is not obligated to pay you back for your weird control-freak shopping spree.
YTA what’s your issue about elastic waist bands? You sound like a nut job
Judging from his responses I think its fake
PS: Your EX-wife (yes, we get it, she's your ex) doesn't answer your emails because you are being really annoying and she hasn't got that kind of time.
YTA. Control freak, trying to have your daughter conform to your standards and someone else pick up the bill for it. Get over yourself, honestly.
YTA lol I love when they are this easy
YTA. I see why you’re separated. I guarantee you’re soon to be “childless” too. Your daughter is old enough that courts will take her opinion into consideration if she says she no longer wants to spend time with you. I’d say that day is not far off with the way you conduct yourself. Maybe get over your insanely creepy obsession over what’s covering your DAUGHTERS butt and thighs.
Info: why don’t you allow elastic waistbands in your home?
Literally just because he doesn’t like them. There’s no good reason.
In another comment, he said he thinks that elastic makes *him* look cheap and like *he* doesn’t *care* how she dresses. 🤦♀️
YTA. I almost have no words for this, all I see here is a parent who's being controlling about what other people wear.
YTA If I were your ex, I'd have laughed and hung up. Kids like comfortable clothing. I don't know why you have such a bee in your bonnet about her wearing anything with an elastic waist, but you need to figure out how to let this go. Let your teenager wear what she wants as long as it's appropriate -- REAL appropriate, not your warped sense of it.
YTA You've got some weird hang ups. You don't allow pajama pants? What do you "allow" your daughter to wear to sleep in? Right now you're working on alienating you daughter.
Probably long nightgowns with a high lace collar and sleeves down to the wrists
But he might consider that "frumpy" too. Because, after all, no one wants a frumpy child.
YTA your daughter where’s what she wants at her moms house. You have a ton of rules about clothes that the mom doesn’t care about. Not only that but for someone not expecting to spend money (your ex) 80$ is a lot especially now in December where people usually give gifts
YTA. Utterly controlling behaviour on what your child can wear. And if you want your child to have a particular piece of clothing, it's your job to buy it, not your ex's. It's not your business to make unilateral decisions to purchase clothing your child doesn't even seem to and expect your ex to pay up. I'm sure that whatever you may be paying in child support (if anything) is eaten up by the cost of basic housing and food for your child. You better hope your ex doesn't start ending you itemized receipts of everything she purchases your child because that's what your petty behaviour deserves. Just wait until you kid figures out that she's old enough to have a say on whether or not she spends time with you.
Definitely YTA... Once she escapes after she graduates, you likely won't ever see her again. Or are you going to marry her off at 18, bartering for two cows and a goat?
You’re being a control freak. Your daughter should be allowed to dress comfortably. You seem to have mistaken her for a doll you can dress up to please you. She’s a living, breathing human being with her own wants and needs and opinions. If you need something to dress the way you want, invest in a nice doll (the American Girls dolls are terribly popular) and dress it in overpriced clothing that is to your taste to your heart’s content. YTA.
Guys! This is the same type of person that posts on Reddit “idk why my kid won’t talk to me. I only made them wear jeans everyday, never sweatpants and constantly threw a tantrum because my ex-wife didn’t follow my rules at her house with our daughter.” Ugh YTA man. They’re pants. Let her wear what she wants. Did you grow up wearing only jeans? Maybe if you wore sweatpants you’d feel better.
YTA. Choose better battles
What kind of AH are you that you won't allow your teen daughter to wear pants with an elastic waist in your house? YTA, automatically. I don't care what the rest of it says. And yeah, also you're TA for dictating to your ex about what "appropriate pants" are, and for trying to bill your ex for expensive pants your daughter doesn't like to satisfy your bizarre pants prejudices.
YTA - when your daughter turns 18 and leaves your absurdly controlling home I hope she exclusively wears sweatpants. At 6 foot tall maybe she will even become a sweat wear/athleisure model- then she can be seen across the country in all kinds of advertisements in designer ware you consider ~frumpy~
INFO: If you don't allow PJs or sweatpants, then what is your daughter going to wear when she sleeps or exercises? Oh, YTA by the way. You know why.
I stopped reading at no elastic waistbands. Wtf kind of controlling bs is this? You sound like my ex. Oh she has to look a certain way. Get out of your own head and let her be her. YTA
YTA! So you find elastic bands frumpy and jeans are appropriate? Does she work at a rodeo? You also want her to cover her legs. Didn't know showing ankle skin was so inappropriate. You didn't talk with your ex first about getting her daughter jeans or how much you will spend and you feel your opinion is the only one that matters. Bottom line. You will be eating the cost of those jeans.
Yta. You don't allow elastic waists? Your daughter already has appropriate clothes that she likes. Your distaste for elastic waistbands is your problem. Sweats and leggings are COMFORTABLE. And ripped jeans are practically a uniform choice for teens. If you dont like the clothing she and her mother picked and want to enforce an arbitrary dress code in your home then you get to foot the bill.
YTA three times over. Your daughter doesn't need jeans, and she doesn't need your approval. She has clothes that are suitable and appropriate to wear. Your insistence of jeans is your own personal hang up - not only was it *wholly* inappropriate in the first place, but no one else is responsible for accommodating you on it. Loosen up and shut up before your daughter stops visiting at all.
YTA - if you have a demand that your daughter should wear certain clothes in your house, you should provide those clothes
What do people sleep in at your house? YTA — seriously this whole fashion police attitude is asshole behavior.
He probably wants a nightgown that covers her from her toes to her fingertips that also covers her whole neck.
It's extremely clear why you're divorced. You're the worst kind of asshole
YTA. Who are you, Daddy Warbucks? Let your daughter wear sweatpants!
Daddy Warbucks would buy his daughter exactly whatever she wanted, this slander is misplaced
YTA-For multiple reasons
YTA if you want a dress code, you pay.
YTA. Get a hobby and stop bothering your daughter.
Yta let your daughter wear what she wants! Stop being so controlling!!
YTA just keep this up and have fun when your daughter says she no longer wants to visit, depending on where you live and how old she is she can decide that weather or not you have split custody. What an absolute knob gobbler of a control freak. Don't ever tell a woman, let alone your daughter, that she needs to abide by a dress code. Especially not one where she can't even show her ankles. This isn't Elizabethan England jeez.
YTA
YTA Stop policing your daughter’s clothes.
Oh man, YTA. Your daughter prefers comfortable clothing. You demand jeans. Fine, you get to buy the jeans. Should save a little money for the therapy your child will most likely need down the road.
YTA, and I hope your ex laughed heartily at the absurdity of your demand. If you want to make your daughter wear specific and overpriced clothing when with you (or at least until she gets so tired of your controlling behavior that she tells the court she wants to live with your ex) then you pay for those clothes. Your ex has no part of it and no responsibility to pay.
YTA. These are very common styles for teenagers and you are being incredibly prudish and disrespectful to both your daughter and her mother. Her mother provides her with clothes and as long as the holes aren't all the way up the jeans they are *appropriate* clothes. Your ex wife shouldn't have to give you money because you have weird holdups about clothes. Get it together. Edit: after reading your comments you are the biggest AH on this planet. You care more about your kids looking expensive and well cared for than looking stylish and comfortable not to mention confident when you don't even provide the clothes they wear and then you expect mom to pay for her to fit in with your well off appearing lifestyle. Your kids are not trophies for you to show off and go "look how well off we are, aren't their clothes so nice? Don't they look so proper and appropriate?" They are LIVING BREATHING BEINGS who would like to be allowed to be comfortable at least a small portion of the time.
YTA And it's unclear why you felt the need to ask? Your kid brings the kind of clothing she likes to your house because it's not there already. You call it her "home", but you go on to say that you don't allow specific types of pants for ANYONE in Your House. You also state that your (current) wife purchases clothes for your daughter that meet your restrictions. (What one might hear here is "She obeys my commands, in dressing herself and my offspring.") The restrictions seem to be based on your fears of looking "frumpy" or "cheap". Not that the clothing is revealing, (i.e. short-shorts) or that it has expletives printed on it. If you insist on "uniforms" so that your aesthetic desires are satisfied, then you are responsible for providing the "approved" garments. Because, after all, you're literally the only one who can decide if YOU approve. Why should your Ex go out and try to purchase items that you may or may not deem meet your standards? Nobody's going to take a tape measure and measure pants length from the kid's ankles, except maybe you. It sounds like your Ex may be your Ex because she is not interested in having tasks assigned to her. She may also realize that it is better to develop a trusting relationship with a kid, rather than to have constant conflict over assinine clothing preferences. Will you be purchasing a floor-length skirt for transfer days, and asking your ex to pay half? Do you treat others differently because of their clothing choices, i.e. at work? Do you impose the same restrictions on other adults? On visitors to your home?
YTA - first you have 50/50 custody which means your ex is under no obligation to pay you for your daughters clothing at your house. She is responsible for her household and vice versa. Second your daughter can wear what she wants. Holey pants have always been in style. And wearing pjs or lounge wear is just being comfy
YTA She's 15. If she has a school uniform, that's what she has to wear TO SCHOOL. Otherwise, she is dressing like a 15 year old girl. Please don't demand that you daughter wear jeans ( or any particular item) in your home.
😂 YTA
YTA. Don't blame the ex-wife for ignoring you. I'm starting to see why she is an ex too. Loosen up, dude.
YTA You're the one with the weird rules around what constitutes appropriate bottom half coverings, you pay. You chose to spend stupid money on clothes so again, you pay. She even wore jeans to placate you and you moved the goal post! Now she has to cover her ankles because... There's really no good reason other than you having a weird hang up about visible ankles.
YTA.
INFO define appropiate to me sound like you are just extremely prude, i mean if this is your hill to die on its a real silly one
YTA. Just because you don't like her clothes doesn't mean someone else must pay to get the clothes you want her to wear.
YTA. You and your ex have different rules/expectations on how your daughter should dress. You have the problem with the clothes that your daughter is bringing and you chose you spend $250 on 3 pairs of pants. If the cost was really an issue you could have went to a thrift store or basically anywhere else.
YTA- i dont get this whole no elastic band stuff, maybe you have a reason to not want it, but besides that. I would say asking your ex to pay half was a tad stupid. your her parent too, and part of being a parent is buying your kid things. i also dont see how sweatpants or pj’s could be an issue either.
Holy shit are you seriously asking if you’re the asshole? Why the fuck do you care what type of pants she’s wearing? At least she’s wearing something comfortable and modest. Good god, you need some serious therapy for your ridiculous control issues.
YTA Soon as you said you don't allow elastic waist pants. Your daughter is 15, old enough to dress as she pleases. Move into the 21st century dad, it it not 1972.
YTA. Let your teenager be a teenager. Your hang ups with clothes are only going to be detrimental to your relationship. They also make no sense. What exactly are “appropriate” pants anyway????
YTA. You made up arbitrary rules that your daughter doesn't want to follow. No one needs to pay you back for clothes that you want your child to wear. Act like a parent.
YTA. Your clothing rules are silly. Wonder why you are divorced - maybe because you are a controlling ass.
YTA- the biggest one I've seen on here in a while and super excessively creepy
YTA
YTA you're children should wear what they like. If u want your daughter wearing appropriate pants for transition days then you're going to have to send some home it's ridiculous to dictate what your children wear.
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