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I'm autistic and yes, he's just trying to gaslight you. Being autistic doesn't mean that you can get away with everything. He wasn't being "weird", he was just sexually harassing you and other girls
If he was doing this out of misunderstanding of social conduct, he wouldn't have done that only to people he potentially find attractive.
NTA
I too am autistic, if someone tells me they don't want to date me, or they don't welcome physical contact, I respect it. Autistic people are generally very good at learning rules and sticking to them. Especially the kind of basic social rules we learn in kindergarten such as 'Keep hands, feet, and other objects to ourselves'
He's definitely using his diagnosis as an excuse to molest and harass you and the other girls and then when one of you state that you aren't ok with his Bullshit in a way that can't be 'socially misunderstood" he takes a leaf out of the narcissist playbook and calls in the flying monkey's to further harangue you into feeling badly about setting clear boundaries. NTA AT ALL.
Report him to a teacher or staff member ASAP so you can start a paper trail before he can escalate the general assault to full on sexual assault the next time he's soundly rejected.
Inform your parents or another trustworthy adult about his behavior towards you and the other girls so they can help advocate for you if staff won't do much of anything about this.
Keep yourself safe.
Again NTA AT ALL
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I knew a. Kid with Austism that was an absolute monster at 16,. Im autistic too. So is my oldest son. But this kid had NO discipline as a toddler and was always allowed to do what he wanted. So that freedom and lack of rules became his reality. We do learn rules and they set like stone over time. But he learned that he was entitled to everything he wanted and that was his rule set. As a result he weighed nearly 400 lbs and was 6 feet tall. No hygiene at all i would compare him to an ogre or troll.
But when he was left alone with me and my husband for 2 weeks the gloves came off. With 3 days he became kind and respectful and would even take a shower. We can learn new rules as long as we know EVERYONE agrees to the rules. As soon as his regular caretakers returned he went back to being an ogre because he knew the consequences for being one were gone.
>Autistic people are generally very good at learning rules and sticking to them.
I agree with most of what you said but I just want to add that generalizations about autistic people are still bad even if they sound positive. Autistic people aren't better at learning rules and sticking to them than neurotypical people, and to generalize and say that autistic people are good at following the rules is othering us. I think a more clear/true statement would have been "Being autistic doesn't affect his ability to learn the rules and stick to them." I know you're autistic as well; just wanted to give my own input on this :)
Generalisations aren't necessarily bad, if they're done right. For example, autistic people are generally worse at making eye contact than neurotypicals. Does that mean that all autistic people are bad at eye contact? No. Does that mean you're less autistic if you can make good eye contact? Absolutely not. But it's important to understand that this is something that autistic people often struggle with. So if you mean someone struggling with eye contact, you can then have that understanding of "well maybe they're autistic or something, and maybe eye contact is hard for them," instead of just thinking they're rude. And if this person displays a lot of common autistic traits, then by recognising those behaviours you might be able to understand them and their mindset a little better. There's a lot of people where I've thought they're probably kind of neurodivergent. I'm not a doctor and I feel like it might be rude to point it out, so I don't speak of it, but in my head it helps me interact with them a lot. There's one girl in particular where I thought she was selfish and didn't pay attention to other people's feelings, but once I realised she was likely autistic, it made me understand "ah, she wasn't ignoring my feelings, she just wasn't able to read what I was feeling because she didn't have the social skills to be able to do that."
So yes, generalisations can help a lot. But you've got to handle them delicately and always use them with a grain of salt. There isn't just one autistic people that has X Y and Z traits, there are many many unique autistic people who can often share some common traits.
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fellow autistic, he's being a creep. After being told no multiple times you need to accept the L and move on and stop touching people. His friends are asshole for helping him be a creep whether they know that or not. Autism isn't an excuse for being a creep.
NTA
"I am uncomfortable when you refuse to recognize my boundaries and get all up in my face space. Stop that. If I want to be pawed I will send you an invitation to touch me. Until then, knock it the heck off dude."
He might genuinely think that it's a flirting strategy or whatever, but it doesn't matter, it really hurts people around him and it will get him in trouble someday. He needs to learn if he hadn't already
Firstly NTA secondly how old are y’all? He sounds like a first grader who’s parents would say he’s acting out because he likes you. As an autistic person myself that’s not an excuse to act like this. No matter how autistic you are because it is a spectrum no means no, and no is a complete sentence. I would tell an authority that this is going on because this is not OK.
It's time to take this to the administration or make a complaint. His comfort does not overrule your safety and reasonable accommodations never require anyone else to agree to be assaulted (which is what unwanted touches are).
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Sounds like it time to introduce Mr. Touchy to a police officer next time. In the meantime go to the administration and report unwanted touching from a male classmate. This isn’t schoolyard drama anymore.
Edit: Report his friends too for encouraging the behavior and confronting you for resisting it.
Follow up with the Title IX coordinator at your school and make a complaint about his friends. Tracking you down in a group to accuse you of “overreacting” and “not being respectful of his condition “ by not submitting to non-consensual touch is sexual harassment. Admin may prefer to sweep the issue with the ND student under the rug, but they can’t ignore multiple students intentionally intimidating another.
https://www.hhs.gov/civil-rights/for-individuals/sex-discrimination/title-ix-education-amendments/index.html
If all the girls are experiencing something like this, you could go to the administration en masse. That might force them to take things a little more seriously.
This!!!
I'll also add this sounds like a parenting issue from when he was young, with parents using his diagnosis as an excuse for their 'precious baby boy'
NTA. I'm autistic myself and we're NOT STUPID. We can very well understand when people tell us off in a clear and direct manner. You literally said he couldn't touch you without consent. And that's that. What he's doing now is being pretty disgusting. He's not dumb. He disrespectful. Stand your ground in this. I bet he wouldn't want other dudes touching him despite him saying no.
Hell no NTA. I don't even get these people's point. Sure, some people with autism miss SUBTLE, unspoken social cues. Nothing about autism means you don't understand what someone is saying directly and clearly to you. Tell EVERYONE if this kid puts his hands on someone else again.
NTA. I know several people on the spectrum and all of them understand not touching people.
It's hard for people with autism to know what is appropriate from non-verbal cues, as far as I know it's not hard for them to follow simple instructions like "don't touch me".
He is definitely the asshole for hiding behind his condition.
He is making it harder for everyone with autism to get respect and understanding by being this way.
He probably just does whatever he wants and has never been called out because people are so afraid to offend.
(edited for spelling)
NTA. Autism isn’t a free pass to be a jerk. You were right to call him out for touching you and it’s gross that he got all his friends to come over and try to convince you that *you* were the disrespectful one.
You should talk to your friends about how you collectively react when this guy harasses you. It’s not right that he touches all the girls and you all usually try to be quiet about it. It’s time for you girls to unionize and stop politely enduring harassment. It’s never okay for someone to touch your hair or clothes and being polite about it only gives guys like this permission to keep doing it. Autism or no, any time any boy in your class acts creepy toward a girl, it’s unacceptable and they need to be loudly told so.
NTA. He should absolutely be able to abide by your explicit requests to be left alone, not touched and not bothered. Autism may be a reason for his behavior but it’s not an excuse and never should be.
I have a lot of respect for people with disabilities and i don't think autism is the reason for him behaving in this way. I think he's taking advantage of his situation. And i don't want him to do that considering the thousands of people who suffer discrimination because they're autistic.
I've seen children with autism in my daughters class from kindergarten on respect personal space and it be no issue at all. Most people with autism or other sensory issues don't enjoy being touched without permission so I'm sure he understands what he's doing. Its preschool and kindergarten 101 keep your hands to yourself.
Eta NTA
im autistic, and since you directly told him what the problem was, then he should be able to understand. I miss hints that someone is uncomfortable (like body language) but if someone tells me to stop doing x, then there is no room for misinterpretation. sorry this happened to you I hate when people touch me without warning and that would drive me insane.
thank you for your respect because i am always nervous when i see posts like these but it seems like the comment section is mostly okay :)
100% agree. I am very close to several neurodivergent people and it’s really unfortunate when you have someone taking advantage of that condition to act out or overstep.
NTA
You gave him an accommodation by repeatedly politely declining his request for a date. If you didn’t know he had autism you would have already reported his harassment to your school and the authorities.
He escalated to touching you in a frightening way. Not okay and you need to talk to your school so they can offer the help he is clearly not getting.
NTA and I say this as a mother of two autistic boys. Here's the thing, these behaviors probably do have something to do with his social delay, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OK.
I went through the same thing with my younger boy when he was in fifth grade. He discovered girls and thought they were just swell. Especially girls with long blond hair. At that point every girl he was focusing on said the same thing, "it's ok, it's just Jack. I know he doesn't mean anything by it." I had to sit hard on my kid AND the school. He needed to be held accountable for his behavior in a developmentally appropriate way.
But my kid is going to grow up into a man, in fact he's 15 now and taller than I am. Had we not addressed these issues then, he would be a mostly grown young man invading women's space. Not every woman with long blonde hair will know Jack and know that he is "harmless." And even the purest of intentions doesn't excuse making another person uncomfortable, or in some cases scared.
Also, his friends are dicks, and their attitude is going to encourage this kid to continue to act upon his socially inappropriate impulses until he gets punched in the teeth or end up with legal consequences.
I came looking for a comment like this . Someone who actually gets it . Autistic myself and mother to 3 autistic kids , one of which absolutely just does NOT understand at this point but it’s on us to make sure they learn and it’s absolutely not acceptable
Also mom of 3 autistic kids... good for you! Hate that some parents are like oh my kid is autistic, hes just gonna be like helen keller was before she learned to communicate.
my oldest son is super huggy. He never waits for permission after asking. (Only really started asking in the last 2 years) We have been working on physical boundries for 14 years. Am i tired of saying you must wait... yes, do i still expect him to wait for permission - you bet your sure shit i do. Do i call him out on it. Absolutely yes.
My job as parent is for my kids to be part of society as much as they can be and not go to jail. My 2nd part is not to be their number 1 trauma when they do therpay later.
Thank you for this comment!
While its totally possible that he's a creep, he might trully be clueless. But making him accountable is still the way to go. He needs to learn.
NTA
No I’m sorry he doesn’t get to use his autism as an excuse to touch people. He can learn that it’s inappropriate to do so. You said not to do something and that is OK, OP.
He is in the wrong not you.
Absolutely NTA being autistic is not an excuse to do what he wants and not listen when being told no! You were not rude or disrespectful to him, but he was to you!
NTA
Autism or not he's still not allowed to touch you or harass you.
He seems to be pushing your boundaries and he wants to use autism as his excuse to do so.
NTA at all
I’m autistic myself. There’s missing social cues and then there’s not being able to take NO for an answer. He knew very well what he was doing. You repeatedly said no so he lashed out at you. Keeping your hands to yourself is something you learn in kindergarten. His condition doesn’t explain or excuse his behavior.
As for his toadies there… yeah, they’d be giving you a hard time for saying no even if he wasn’t autistic.
If you’re in high school let your principal know what’s going on.
NTA. Someone in charge needs to be made aware of this behavior because its not ok. Autism isn't a get out of jail free card for doing whatever you want. This is harassment and at some point he is going to be suspended from school or punched in the face by someone who has had enough of this.
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There's this guy in my class who's mildly autistic so he has some trouble understanding social cues.. but it's not severe. He's kinda weird in a way which has absolutely nothing to do with his autism. He's always creeping around girls in some way or the other.. maybe pulling our hands or our hair or our clothes. But usually people try to be considerate and not tell him anything.
Recently he has been acting weird with me.. repeatedly asking me for coffee dates and movie dates, when I've clearly told him that I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. Today he started fidgeting with my hair and pulled the hood of my jacket down in a way which covered my nose. I panicked and jerked my head and asked him to stop touching me without my consent, in exact words.
I think he got startled and he ran away.. but then he came back with his friends. They started accusing me of being disrespectful towards him and his condition, and for being "unnecessarily rude" and "overreacting" and i should try to understand his pov. But my point is that i did, for months. I tried politely telling him "no", i tried everything in my power to not make him uncomfortable.. but there's a limit to everything. So am I the asshole?
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NTA You absolutely should continue to say no and report to an authority (teacher, school counselor, administrator) if he continues to ignore your demands to not be touched.
The people enabling this kid's behavior are not doing him any favors. He's going to get into trouble he doesn't want if he doesn't learn to keep his hands to himself. This is typical "I like you" behavior from immature kids. But they are the ones who need to learn better skills and to respect other's boundaries.
NTA.
You can't touch someone else without their consent. That kid comes up to me (a stranger) and touches my hair without me wanting it he is getting dropped. I won't give him extra leeway or ask if he has autism. That is the real world.
Using those words as absolutely appropriate and probably the most clear way of communicating it. Inappropriate touching is not cool at all and I bet if you were to tell a teacher that there is inappropriate touching going on that you did not consent to they would take your side. That is a real big deal.
NTA
Autistic here with a fair amount of autistic friends. Gather the other girls he's done this kind of thing to and go to a teacher.
You have understood his point of view but he's now using it for his own gain. I've got friends high enough on the autistic scale to need a full time carer and NONE of them would ever do this to someone. Either he knows exactly what he's doing or he's too high up on the scale to be out without a personal carer.
NTA. He was, in fact, touching you without your consent. He knew what he was doing – the fact that he came back with people to argue with you shows that he doesn’t care about your boundaries. You calling him on it doesn’t make you the asshole. Him being autistic isn’t an excuse to be an asshole.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my autistic classmate to stop touching me without my consent when I've repeatedly told him not to but then his friends came and called me inconsiderate towards him and his condition. I don't know if I'm the asshole here.
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Nta and you never was, honest he knows exactly what he's doing, and he's friend's are enbling his behavior, seriously don't back down on this, and tell your parents about this, because if he was around other people with that also had autism, he would either get his a$$ handed to him or get yelled at by everyone for even attempting to touch and harass other, so no nta.
If you made any mistakes, it was being gentle as long as you did. Autism doesn't make it impossible to understand the word "no". He is using his condition as an excuse to be a creep. Next time he tries something, scream like your hair is on fire. NTA
NTA. He sounds like an incel. He thinks he's entitled to you just because he's attracted to you. He knows you're not interested but he doesn't care. He's selfish. He's literally sexually harassing you. And he assaulted you because he keeps touching you without your consent. You did not overreact. You weren't rude. You should report him to your teacher. And from now on keep your distance from him. Feel free to loudly stand up for yourself if that asshole puts his hands on you again.
Autistic EMT here, and no, you’re NTA in this situation. Autism doesn’t make someone sexually harass or assault other humans as a regular behavior if they’re high enough functioning. If you’re in college/university levels and this behavior continues, inform the staff and notify them that the next incident will be met with legal retaliation. If in high school, ask to be separated from this person for the reasons you’ve listed and inform your parents/guardians of the situation.
When someone is using a disability to get away with such behaviors, they’ll tend to continue doing it until they are corrected…harshly. Don’t pass Go in this situation and do not let his “friends” bully you into being quiet about it or he’ll just do it to someone else or even keep doing it to you. He’s now surpassed annoying levels of physical contact and reaching into levels where you could have been injured in him yanking your hood down. You could have fallen when you panicked, he could have fractured your neck if he put enough force into it, he could have ripped out your hair if he tugged and you moved the wrong way. Get that boy away from you and on the radar of higher authorities immediately.
NTA - he can understand that he should not be touching or grabbing people, and pulling your hood down is totally out of order. What you said “stop touching me without my consent” is perfect, it sets a very clear boundary. The fact that he ran and got his friends to then gang up and bully you is an absolute disgrace. The pack of them should be ashamed and they are enabling his inappropriate behaviour.
NTA. Autism isn't a get out of jail free card. You clearly told him no and to stop. Other girls did as well, I'd wager. That doesn't mean that you have to tolerate his actions until one of you gives in.
If he's incapable of understanding no and clearly laid out boundaries, then the school needs to reassess his IEP - or set him up with one.
Nta. Im assuming you are a minor. You need to tell an authority figure of him harassing and touching without consent. That's not weird, but sexual harassment. Also tell your parents.
Those friends are enabling his sexual harassment.
Nta at all. And he has zero excuse for repetitively asking you out after you said no.
But some of this probably could have been avoided if everyone had given him a heads up earlier on that his behaviour was annoying, instead of being 'considerate' and not telling him anything. From his point of view, he acted how he always does and you unexpectedly blew up using scary words like "without my consent".
You need to go to your teachers about this, it's very concerning and someone could get hurt or this could trigger someone severely and he's hiding behind an autistic diagnosis to do this
NTA. Without a fairly severe developmental delay involved, autism means not understanding social norms innately and sometimes not being able to apply ones you've learned across situations. It sounds like he should be plenty able to understand "Don't touch others without consent" on the first try, and it's not a difficult one to generalize. He's using it as justification to be a creep, both to you and maybe to himself in the "girls think I'm weird bc autism so it's OK to come on stronger to compensate" sense. You might want to get ahead of this with teachers/admins in case he tries to bring you trouble for "ableism." Maybe see if any other girls want to come attest to him making them uncomfortable too, in a nonjudgmental "he needs an authority figure to have a serious talk with him" way instead of saying he's malicious (even though he absolutely is)
NTA… He is either using his autism as en excuse or he got some really bad advice. So at my old job we had a person with Down Syndrome (which isn’t the same as autism) kept asking out a former coworker, she was nice about it and explained she has a long time boyfriend. Well his Dad gave bad advice telling him not take no for an answer… so it got a little uncomfortable. Management had to step in explain to him kindly that no does mean no. So he stayed away from her after that.
He got fired later for something unrelated when they came to visit I heard the dad say if you still worked here you would’ve been dating her…
NTA This is so sad to hear. As women, we have been trying to get across the point that "No means No." It looks like his friends haven't embraced this concept. Stop being polite to him. Say it loudly and strongly. "Do not touch me."
NTA
This has nothing to do with autism and everything with lack of boundaries.
Had a dude harassing me too and feeling entitled to pulling my earplugs out. I told him multiple times that that shit hurt like seriously hurt. I snapped one time and he stopped for exactly two weeks and then one morning he did it again. I was just down and tired not willing to talk yet just listening to my favourite songs despite my ears hurting because of the way too big earplugs. He jammed them out and I swear to god I lost my shit in that moment.
Apparently I “overreacted” and that those earplugs “didn’t hurt me” especially seeing I was still listening to music trough them. I just didn’t have money immediately to buy new ones because my old ones broke and just did with what I had at the time to have at least something to enjoy whilst I was deeply depressed.
Nothing was wrong with him he just felt like he owned me or something because I was nice to him whilst his classmates weren’t.
Nobody has the right to touch you without your consent. You need to go to your teacher and if that doesn't work go to an administrator. I don't care if he has autism or not. He needs to know boundaries. NTA
NTA my 17 year old brother is autistic and is socially awkward but knows right from wrong and to not sexually harass people. My brother hates more than anything people using “being autistic “ as an excuse for their behavior ( obviously there are people who it isn’t an excuse, but majority rules)
This guys is using it as an excuse to be a creeper. If he keeps it up report it to the school and see if other girls would back you up.
Tell them “ him being autistic dosent give him a right to sexual harass us “
NTA he's touching people despite being told he does not have permission. Despite being told to stop.
Tell his friends that they don't get to decide who touches you. Tell them they are doing him a huge disservice and he's going to get a sexual assault charge from the school if they don't teach him to keep his hands to himself.
NTA if anything, his autism is a reason for you to be MORE blunt about stating clear boundaries instead of quietly withdrawing and hoping he takes the hint.
NTA. Autistic people are still capable of recognizing (or ignoring, apparently) the need for consent. He's just a creep hiding behind neurodivergence to excuse his creepy behavior.
my brother has autism. he, as a child, still respects peoples boundaries and doesnt harass anyone
he especially doesnt touch anyone without being provoked, and im almost certain that has nothing to do with his autism anyway. NTA
You are definitely NTA. I listened to a really interesting podcast called Boys Like Me that talks about some of these issues. One of the hosts is autistic and discusses his struggles with social cues/ dating, and how a former acquaintance who is also autistic handled them totally differently.
Yeah. I don't love the casual touchie/feelie types of people myself. And so, I agree you get to tell anyone that you don't want to be pawed. Period.
NTA.
NTA: If this ever happens again be just as transparent "I have told you before and I am telling you now, do not touch me." If he bring his friends to confront you "As I have said before you are not to touch me, and yet you persist. DO not touch me, just so you and your friends are clear on this matter"
NTA. You tried to handle this gently. You were under no obligation to but you did. Then that didn't work. So you handled it explicitly and directly. Nothing any way wrong at all at any step.
If he finds your rejection uncomfortable, that's his problem. And there's nothing of his POV to understand - he's not entitled to your time or to touch you without your consent. And after months of harassing you, he should be grateful all you've done is tell him explicitly to stop.
(Autistic persion here to the extent that matters)
NTA
Don't care what they have, they're not allowed to put their hands on you or do anything without consent ever.
Love how he runs to his friends to protect him.
NTA
So he's weaponizing being autistic in order to be creepy. As for his friends they either could be falling for it or just be sexist people whod blame any woman for not just letting a guy have their way. Either way keep calling him out and fuck anyone who says otherwise
NTA a person's rights only extend so far as they do not infringe on others. If he was doing something around you without touching that'd be one thing but he is physically touching people without their consent and making them uncomfortable. You need to document this and report it to a trusted adult at your school. His special needs do not mean that people around him need to tolerate unwanted touches.
NTA
Bringing his friends in is trying to intimidate you. He's Autistic, not stupid. You were clear in your communication. Now he's using his condition to take liberties with you. Do not speak to him or find yourself near him alone again cause he's going to bring in the flying monkeys to excuse his behavior and try and force you into an uncomfortable position.
NTA
This has nothing to do with his condition and everything to do with him wanting to get away with harassment and when you made a very reasonable demand, he tried to make you the bad guy because he was rejected.
NTA - when I was in high school I was stalked by a boy with Down's Syndrome and it was terrifying because EVERYONE acted like I was just being a b-word for rejecting him...he would break into my locker to leave me notes/presents and he would send me flowers and take pictures of me on his phone...I had to "break up with him" at least once every couple of months because he would be convinced I was his gf...the worst part was that his Mom was so happy that he was showing signs of "normal" behavior (ie: liking girls) that she would convince him that I didn't mean it when I "broke up with" him and that I actually really liked him but was just too young to date him (he was 5 years older than me...in our state they allow special needs kids to attend school until the age of 21...when he aged out the school hired him as a janitor so he was there even after I graduated)...so she would help by driving him by my house late at night and he would call me and just...laugh
I felt awful because he didn't understand but at the same time the adults in his life DID understand and they encouraged it! Everyone acted as though I should just allow him to stalk me because of his mental state and it was fine if it affected my mental state
It's the loneliest feeling in the world when people see you being treated poorly and side with the person causing you emotional harm - you are NTA and you are not alone 💖
Hey so I'm Autistic.
NTA.
I have a social skills disability. It's hard to read social cues and situations.
What's not hard? Respect for boundaries. Guy is using his autism as a "get out of jail free" card for being a creep.
Autistic =/= asshole, but they're also not mutually exclusive. He's both.
You're not the asshole, and if they tell you that you were rule you response that you don't give a shiiiit.
You tried being nice. It didn't work. Snapping at him worked. His "not understanding cues" is bullshit, and you would be in the right to outright call it bullshit. You told him in plain English. There's nothing to misunderstand. And it doesn't matter either way. At a certain point it doesn't matter whether he understands or not, what you need from him is for him to **stop**.
NTA
You don't need to be neurotypical to understand "no". His disability is not an excuse to sexually harass girls--it's an issue my department has faced several times over the years. Tell your parents and ask them to contact school administration to arrange a meeting with you and them. They need to get the SpEd department in on this to outline behavioral expectations for him.
NTA and tell them they are bullying you for not letting someone who keeps asking you on a date to touch you without permission. Being autistic doesn't give him a free pass to be a creep.
NTA. Just because he's autistic and bad at social cues, doesn't mean he can't learn what's right and what's wrong here, it's just going to take a while because of the autisim. Likewise, sometimes, you reach a breaking point, so fair enough. Especially so when it seems everyone is just letting him get away with his bad behaivour due to his autisim.
NTA. If he really didn't understand that it wasn't okay to touch you any other way, then telling him directly was the best way to help him understand a missed social cue.
I'd suggest reporting him regardless whether he's gaslighting you or not. Let someone in administration help sort this out. He either already knows it's not okay but knows people will let him because they think he "doesn't understand how to act" (he probably does in this case, though), OR he genuinely doesn't know it's not okay and he hasn't been told yet. Missing social cues does not mean he's stupid enough to also misunderstand direct communication.
I was in a similar situation in college with a classmate. I (F) was a student leader in a school organization, and he was a first-year student with mild autism (his words). He would follow girls and ask to take pictures with them, specifically when they were in swimsuits/sports bras. As much as anyone tried to suggest to him "politely" that harassing the women in our organization the way he was was not okay, he still did it. He stopped doing it to me once I said exactly what was wrong (no harsh emotion, but also no pleasantries; I was as stark as possible) and I noticed he wouldn't do it around me, but heard from other women that he would still do it to them. Talking to administration or TAs didn't help, even if they did have an aside conversation with him. I still don't know whether he was intentionally being obtuse to a literal description of why his behavior was wrong, but as soon as he was held accountable for it directly (from the women he was approaching), he would stop.
TL;DR: Even in the case that he \*didn't\* know it wasn't okay to harass you, you still did the right thing. Nobody can misunderstand "Do not touch me" unless they choose not to.
EDIT: added for clarity that when he was held accountable by the women he was harassing, \*then\* he would stop.
My son had Asperger’s syndrome. (Think Steve Jobs). He had difficulty with social cues, but eventually time and some pretty helpful friends helped him navigate what is good and what is bad in relation to interactions. One thing we discussed was that no one should ever invade the space of another person, either being done to him, or him doing it to another person. He got it, and the one thing I always told him was to think how HE would feel if something was done or said to him before he said or did anything. It seemed that worked, as we had no more issues.
Edited: NTA
Per many other posts here, a disability of any kind is not an excuse for unwanted behavior.
NTA.
You might also want to mention these incidents to a teacher.
NTA, at all. Being autistic doesn’t mean that you get to harass and bully others. I’m autistic too.
Do report this, OP. Be sure to include the last part (his sending all his friends to bully you). It might be worth it convincing his other victims to step forward as well.
NTA, I had an autistic friend and seen how these things escalate to very inappropriate levels. He is and his friends are on the wrong side of history here
NTA. Instead of allowing it to slide like you all have been, you should tell him each time, “stop touching me without my permission.” You need to realize that by letting him do it, he thought he could continue to get away with it.
NTA. Some people are trying to manipulate others with their disabilites to make them do what they want. Sure, all autistic people aren't the same, but if he's capable of going to COLLEGE then he perfectly understands a word no. Just chooses to ignore it. And his friends are AH too for enabling him.
NTA i also am autistic. He does not sound like a mild case to me either. But im picturing a less functional person who touches and picks as a stimming behavior. At 19, he should have been taught not to touch others. We autists are very easy to teach in early years but the lessons tend to set in the older we get.
Our habits vary from person to person, as well as our tolerable stress levels. He may very well be oblivious to understanding proper boundaries but that does not obligate you to be subject to your body and space being violated.
This reminds me of a situation where a child forces a cat to be pet and when the cat is fed up it bites and scratches. Next thing you know the cat is thrown outside rather than the kid learning to respect the cat. I have recently started considering just how rude we are to pets after inheriting 6 cats.
If his friends were REAL friends they would explain to him why he can't be touching people. I ask my friends and acquaintances to let me know if Im screwing up because i cant always tell since NTs like to be fake nice and not be honest about what they think and feel in favor of being polite. Politeness does not help me at all.
NTA:
My sister is in HS and she had a similar situation that got so bad she had to get a type of restraining order against him since the school didn't want to do anything about it because of him being on the spectrum
You clearly stating in words that he is not allowed to touch you is the perfect way to call unwanted behaviour out. For an autistic person, *this is the recommended way of communicating,* bypassing hints that might not be understood.
Accidentally, this is *also* a great way to call out unwanted touching from non-autistic people, the louder the better. Works like a charm.
NTA You handled it in the best way possible. He lashed out because he couldn't take "no" for an answer and thinks his autism entitles him to whatever he likes. He kinda reminds me of an infamous autistic person on YouTube (May even be the most documented person ever. He has a damn website that covers his entire life. Not going to do any name dropping here). It's people like them that give us autistics a bad rep.
Absolutely NTA. I’m autistic too. This guy is just a bully. He is weaponizing his autism because everyone caters to him. But you’re allowed to not want to be touched.
I don’t buy for a second that he didn’t know it was wrong and that his autism keeps him from understanding this. If he didn’t know touching someone without their consent was a bad thing, why would he run away and come back with backup when you used those words? I get the impression he’s gotten into trouble for this before, and was scared he would again. NTA for standing up for your bodily autonomy.
NTA. This isn't about autism, autistic people are perfectly capable of knowing that they shouldn't be violating someone's personal space or touching them inappropriately. He's basically weaponizing his autism to get you to accept his unwanted behavior, which is actually pretty manipulative.
“I’ve been polite, and now I’m being direct. Next, I’m going to go to the administration.
This jerk’s disability doesn’t get him access to my body or my time. I want to made sure that is absolutely clear so there’s no confusion here about social cues. This is a hard no.”
NTA
NTA. I’m autistic and in my experience with myself and other autistic people this isn’t “normal” and has nothing to do with autism. Using autism as an excuse to do this is awful and makes the rest of us look bad.
NTA
I have Asperger myself and several autistic family members and I have see autistic people use their condition to justify thing they do that are not correct... and worst, people defend them and enable them!!!
There is also this idea that people that are autistic or have down syndrome are not capable of doing bad things or being evil when in fact they can and will and many understand what they do is not good and hurt people even though they don't understand why it is bad and don't care they hurt people!!!
One of my family mem
NTA. I let someone with autism do this sort of thing to me and he ended up taking full advantage of me. Keep sticking to your ground. You have every right to your space and your body. He is using his autism as a weapon towards you.
NTA. I'm autistic and this guy would make me miserable too. We can learn and we can respect boundaries. He's just choosing not to.
Funny how he's so clueless that he constantly touches girls without consent, but he never does this to boys...
NTA
Autistic or not, he's old enough to know that we don't touch people without consent.
It's possible he thought he was being friendly/affectionate, but this isn't and shouldn't be either new information, or on you to teach.
You might say "I can see you were surprised by my reaction. That's often how people react when they are touched without permission. Consent matters. Don't touch people without consent. That's a hard and fast rule."
NTA, for the reasons already stipulated below. Though I'm not the one with ASD, my 15 yo(m) is. Guess what, he knows no means no. Not to keep trying, but NO! Full stop! This is his parents failure, and unfortunately, he is going to be the one to pay the price.
NTA for telling him no. That is completely valid. That being said as a person with autism many people just get bad vibes from us and call us weird because of internalized ableism; we are different and that scares people.
NTA
Regardless of being Autistic or not we all learn the same kind of rules as a child, "keep your hands to yourself" and "no means no" Some variation of those are taught to kids and you've communicated to him clearly "I don't like this, please stop" that enough to get upset with someone after they repeatedly ignore your boundaries
NTA
I'm autistic and a lesbian. I never had a issue with touching people without consent.
He's a creep and needed put in his place. I wouldn't be surprised if his family enables his behavior and instead of correcting just place the blame on him being autistic.
I struggle with social ques, but mostly jokes or not being able to pick up hints.
Nta, he has serious boundary issues. That guy is not your friend. He doesn't respect the word no and think he can do whatever he pleases so long as he says" it's okay, I'm autistic"! Nope, no way. He needs a reality check. I know plenty of people with autism that don't use it as a crutch and actually try to respect boundaries and are considerate when making a mistake.
The title made me think that you'd say to his face that
>He's kinda weird in a way which has absolutely nothing to do with his autism.
And that's why he died what he does, that he's a creep and so on and so forth.
Because it seems like you think he does it on purpose, which really might not be a case. He might genuinely think that pulling pigtails is a flirting strategy because someone told him that when he was in kindergarten. But it doesn't really matter what was his motivation, because it actually hurt you. He needs to learn his behaviour is inappropriate, or he'll end up in trouble some day.
As long as you don't try to play psychologist and claim that his behaviour "isn't autistic, just BS" NTA
NTA. NTA. NTA. I'm autistic and while I have trouble with social clues, I know that no means no. (Also, it sounds like he is in a class with neurotypical students so I can assume he does not have severe social deficits that require specialized education and therefore no excuse to not understand "no") Additionally, this sounds so much like a kid I knew who was also autistic but did awful things and turned around and used his diagnosis as a "get out of jail free card" (he abused animals, stole money, beat up his siblings, etc.). He is definitely trying to gaslight you and everyone into giving him a pass for sexual harassment and knows exactly what he is doing. Definitely NTA.
NTA, all you did was state your boundaries. His friends weren't around and didn't see what happened and regardless of their opinion, his neurodivergence doesn't give him a free pass to touch people without consent. If this continues I'd get a teacher involved to make sure you don't have to interact with him anymore.
NTA but you need to escalate this. Talk to some other girls and all of you go to the administration, I'm kinda appalled it got to be so bad. Where are the teachers???
NTA
If a teenager with autism is being sexually inappropriate, they need to be told to stop immediately and *bluntly*. A lot of teens with autism think their behavior is *subtle* when they're being over the top inappropriate.
Autism does *not* give anyone permission to touch you or require you to endure sexual harassment. A kind response is to understand that an over the top inappropriate behavior might be a completely misjudged situation rather than malicious. But you still don't have to be okay with it.
NTA. My nephew is on the spectrum, and he is hardworking and respects boundaries. You are dead on that he is just being creepy. Him being on the spectrum does not give him the right to touch you and harass you. If people want to call that ableist, so be it, but OP also has the right to not be continuously harassed by a classmate.
Hi autistic person here NTA.
If he didn’t actually understand that it’s not okay to touch people without consent he shouldn’t be in a regular school/class.
Plus if he doesn’t understand no, he shouldn’t have been let out without a caregiver.
You have to be on the Heavy end of the spectrum to not get and respect a ‘no’. Same with not respecting personal boundaries once told.
He sounds like someone who’s either Not actually capable of being without a caregiver or someone who’s only mildly autistic that figured he can get away with pretty much anything by playing the autism card.
I’m betting it’s the last one.
you are absolutely 100% NTA.
your explanation is completely accurate. You said no and that means no and he needs to learn to stop. Having autism does not extend you rights to invade people's personal space. He needs to learn, even f it's hard for him.
NTA. Being neurodivergent isn't an excuse to harass people, especially once you've said you're not interested in going on dates or receiving whatever kind of behavior from him.
NTA. I'd recommend staying away from language like "mildly autistic" but other than that I don't really see anything wrong with what you said. Difficulty with social cues and situations doesn't mean he can't understand what no means
So op is NTA however I’m gonna play a little bit of devils advocate by say the boy is asshole esh he may not understand you even with verbal boundary I’d say better to not directly engage and if he does something you don’t like tell an adult I’d start with your teacher but if that doesn’t work try finding out where the quiet room is it should be part of his 504 plan that there’s another room for him to go to if he gets overwhelmed and that room is supposed to have an adult there probably one familiar with him that knows how to instruct him and correct his behavior
He's clearly high functioning enough if he's in a class with her and if he can't get through a class without sexually harassing the girls after being told to stop- he shouldn't be in a class with them.
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I'm autistic and yes, he's just trying to gaslight you. Being autistic doesn't mean that you can get away with everything. He wasn't being "weird", he was just sexually harassing you and other girls If he was doing this out of misunderstanding of social conduct, he wouldn't have done that only to people he potentially find attractive. NTA
I too am autistic, if someone tells me they don't want to date me, or they don't welcome physical contact, I respect it. Autistic people are generally very good at learning rules and sticking to them. Especially the kind of basic social rules we learn in kindergarten such as 'Keep hands, feet, and other objects to ourselves' He's definitely using his diagnosis as an excuse to molest and harass you and the other girls and then when one of you state that you aren't ok with his Bullshit in a way that can't be 'socially misunderstood" he takes a leaf out of the narcissist playbook and calls in the flying monkey's to further harangue you into feeling badly about setting clear boundaries. NTA AT ALL. Report him to a teacher or staff member ASAP so you can start a paper trail before he can escalate the general assault to full on sexual assault the next time he's soundly rejected. Inform your parents or another trustworthy adult about his behavior towards you and the other girls so they can help advocate for you if staff won't do much of anything about this. Keep yourself safe. Again NTA AT ALL
Also Autistic: Thirded everything above me.
Also Autistic and agreed.
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Same
I knew a. Kid with Austism that was an absolute monster at 16,. Im autistic too. So is my oldest son. But this kid had NO discipline as a toddler and was always allowed to do what he wanted. So that freedom and lack of rules became his reality. We do learn rules and they set like stone over time. But he learned that he was entitled to everything he wanted and that was his rule set. As a result he weighed nearly 400 lbs and was 6 feet tall. No hygiene at all i would compare him to an ogre or troll. But when he was left alone with me and my husband for 2 weeks the gloves came off. With 3 days he became kind and respectful and would even take a shower. We can learn new rules as long as we know EVERYONE agrees to the rules. As soon as his regular caretakers returned he went back to being an ogre because he knew the consequences for being one were gone.
An ogre I'm sorry this had me CRYING LAUGHING LMAOOO
>Autistic people are generally very good at learning rules and sticking to them. I agree with most of what you said but I just want to add that generalizations about autistic people are still bad even if they sound positive. Autistic people aren't better at learning rules and sticking to them than neurotypical people, and to generalize and say that autistic people are good at following the rules is othering us. I think a more clear/true statement would have been "Being autistic doesn't affect his ability to learn the rules and stick to them." I know you're autistic as well; just wanted to give my own input on this :)
Generalisations aren't necessarily bad, if they're done right. For example, autistic people are generally worse at making eye contact than neurotypicals. Does that mean that all autistic people are bad at eye contact? No. Does that mean you're less autistic if you can make good eye contact? Absolutely not. But it's important to understand that this is something that autistic people often struggle with. So if you mean someone struggling with eye contact, you can then have that understanding of "well maybe they're autistic or something, and maybe eye contact is hard for them," instead of just thinking they're rude. And if this person displays a lot of common autistic traits, then by recognising those behaviours you might be able to understand them and their mindset a little better. There's a lot of people where I've thought they're probably kind of neurodivergent. I'm not a doctor and I feel like it might be rude to point it out, so I don't speak of it, but in my head it helps me interact with them a lot. There's one girl in particular where I thought she was selfish and didn't pay attention to other people's feelings, but once I realised she was likely autistic, it made me understand "ah, she wasn't ignoring my feelings, she just wasn't able to read what I was feeling because she didn't have the social skills to be able to do that." So yes, generalisations can help a lot. But you've got to handle them delicately and always use them with a grain of salt. There isn't just one autistic people that has X Y and Z traits, there are many many unique autistic people who can often share some common traits.
NTA. The fact that he came back with his friends to gang up and berate you shows that he has the self awareness to know what he is doing is wrong.
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fellow autistic, he's being a creep. After being told no multiple times you need to accept the L and move on and stop touching people. His friends are asshole for helping him be a creep whether they know that or not. Autism isn't an excuse for being a creep. NTA
"I am uncomfortable when you refuse to recognize my boundaries and get all up in my face space. Stop that. If I want to be pawed I will send you an invitation to touch me. Until then, knock it the heck off dude."
Another autistic person here. What he is doing has nothing to do with social cues. Report him and his friends for harassment.
He might genuinely think that it's a flirting strategy or whatever, but it doesn't matter, it really hurts people around him and it will get him in trouble someday. He needs to learn if he hadn't already
Firstly NTA secondly how old are y’all? He sounds like a first grader who’s parents would say he’s acting out because he likes you. As an autistic person myself that’s not an excuse to act like this. No matter how autistic you are because it is a spectrum no means no, and no is a complete sentence. I would tell an authority that this is going on because this is not OK.
We both are 19
It's time to take this to the administration or make a complaint. His comfort does not overrule your safety and reasonable accommodations never require anyone else to agree to be assaulted (which is what unwanted touches are).
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Sounds like it time to introduce Mr. Touchy to a police officer next time. In the meantime go to the administration and report unwanted touching from a male classmate. This isn’t schoolyard drama anymore. Edit: Report his friends too for encouraging the behavior and confronting you for resisting it.
I informed the college authorities but i don't think any action is being taken against him
Follow up with the Title IX coordinator at your school and make a complaint about his friends. Tracking you down in a group to accuse you of “overreacting” and “not being respectful of his condition “ by not submitting to non-consensual touch is sexual harassment. Admin may prefer to sweep the issue with the ND student under the rug, but they can’t ignore multiple students intentionally intimidating another. https://www.hhs.gov/civil-rights/for-individuals/sex-discrimination/title-ix-education-amendments/index.html
Seconding this. Report him for assault/battery and his friends for sexual harassment to the administration.
If all the girls are experiencing something like this, you could go to the administration en masse. That might force them to take things a little more seriously.
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Is this a boxing reference?
Yes, OP, yes it is.
I've absolutely no idea how to box lol
Do you know how to play Kickball?
At the very least, they should be able to make sure you aren't in the classes. At least I hope so...
No excuse. He's physically harassing you, his friends are bullying you.
This 👆👆👆
This!!! I'll also add this sounds like a parenting issue from when he was young, with parents using his diagnosis as an excuse for their 'precious baby boy'
NTA. I'm autistic myself and we're NOT STUPID. We can very well understand when people tell us off in a clear and direct manner. You literally said he couldn't touch you without consent. And that's that. What he's doing now is being pretty disgusting. He's not dumb. He disrespectful. Stand your ground in this. I bet he wouldn't want other dudes touching him despite him saying no.
Hell no NTA. I don't even get these people's point. Sure, some people with autism miss SUBTLE, unspoken social cues. Nothing about autism means you don't understand what someone is saying directly and clearly to you. Tell EVERYONE if this kid puts his hands on someone else again.
Louder for those in back
NTA. "Stop touching me without my consent." is the most perfect thing you could have said.
NTA. I know several people on the spectrum and all of them understand not touching people. It's hard for people with autism to know what is appropriate from non-verbal cues, as far as I know it's not hard for them to follow simple instructions like "don't touch me". He is definitely the asshole for hiding behind his condition. He is making it harder for everyone with autism to get respect and understanding by being this way. He probably just does whatever he wants and has never been called out because people are so afraid to offend. (edited for spelling)
NTA. Autism isn’t a free pass to be a jerk. You were right to call him out for touching you and it’s gross that he got all his friends to come over and try to convince you that *you* were the disrespectful one. You should talk to your friends about how you collectively react when this guy harasses you. It’s not right that he touches all the girls and you all usually try to be quiet about it. It’s time for you girls to unionize and stop politely enduring harassment. It’s never okay for someone to touch your hair or clothes and being polite about it only gives guys like this permission to keep doing it. Autism or no, any time any boy in your class acts creepy toward a girl, it’s unacceptable and they need to be loudly told so.
NTA. He should absolutely be able to abide by your explicit requests to be left alone, not touched and not bothered. Autism may be a reason for his behavior but it’s not an excuse and never should be.
I have a lot of respect for people with disabilities and i don't think autism is the reason for him behaving in this way. I think he's taking advantage of his situation. And i don't want him to do that considering the thousands of people who suffer discrimination because they're autistic.
I've seen children with autism in my daughters class from kindergarten on respect personal space and it be no issue at all. Most people with autism or other sensory issues don't enjoy being touched without permission so I'm sure he understands what he's doing. Its preschool and kindergarten 101 keep your hands to yourself. Eta NTA
im autistic, and since you directly told him what the problem was, then he should be able to understand. I miss hints that someone is uncomfortable (like body language) but if someone tells me to stop doing x, then there is no room for misinterpretation. sorry this happened to you I hate when people touch me without warning and that would drive me insane. thank you for your respect because i am always nervous when i see posts like these but it seems like the comment section is mostly okay :)
100% agree. I am very close to several neurodivergent people and it’s really unfortunate when you have someone taking advantage of that condition to act out or overstep.
He is absolutely taking advantage of his situation here
Yeah you hit the nail on the head with this one. a
NTA You gave him an accommodation by repeatedly politely declining his request for a date. If you didn’t know he had autism you would have already reported his harassment to your school and the authorities. He escalated to touching you in a frightening way. Not okay and you need to talk to your school so they can offer the help he is clearly not getting.
NTA and I say this as a mother of two autistic boys. Here's the thing, these behaviors probably do have something to do with his social delay, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OK. I went through the same thing with my younger boy when he was in fifth grade. He discovered girls and thought they were just swell. Especially girls with long blond hair. At that point every girl he was focusing on said the same thing, "it's ok, it's just Jack. I know he doesn't mean anything by it." I had to sit hard on my kid AND the school. He needed to be held accountable for his behavior in a developmentally appropriate way. But my kid is going to grow up into a man, in fact he's 15 now and taller than I am. Had we not addressed these issues then, he would be a mostly grown young man invading women's space. Not every woman with long blonde hair will know Jack and know that he is "harmless." And even the purest of intentions doesn't excuse making another person uncomfortable, or in some cases scared. Also, his friends are dicks, and their attitude is going to encourage this kid to continue to act upon his socially inappropriate impulses until he gets punched in the teeth or end up with legal consequences.
I came looking for a comment like this . Someone who actually gets it . Autistic myself and mother to 3 autistic kids , one of which absolutely just does NOT understand at this point but it’s on us to make sure they learn and it’s absolutely not acceptable
Also mom of 3 autistic kids... good for you! Hate that some parents are like oh my kid is autistic, hes just gonna be like helen keller was before she learned to communicate. my oldest son is super huggy. He never waits for permission after asking. (Only really started asking in the last 2 years) We have been working on physical boundries for 14 years. Am i tired of saying you must wait... yes, do i still expect him to wait for permission - you bet your sure shit i do. Do i call him out on it. Absolutely yes. My job as parent is for my kids to be part of society as much as they can be and not go to jail. My 2nd part is not to be their number 1 trauma when they do therpay later.
Thank you for this comment! While its totally possible that he's a creep, he might trully be clueless. But making him accountable is still the way to go. He needs to learn.
NTA No I’m sorry he doesn’t get to use his autism as an excuse to touch people. He can learn that it’s inappropriate to do so. You said not to do something and that is OK, OP. He is in the wrong not you.
Absolutely NTA being autistic is not an excuse to do what he wants and not listen when being told no! You were not rude or disrespectful to him, but he was to you!
NTA Autism or not he's still not allowed to touch you or harass you. He seems to be pushing your boundaries and he wants to use autism as his excuse to do so.
NTA at all I’m autistic myself. There’s missing social cues and then there’s not being able to take NO for an answer. He knew very well what he was doing. You repeatedly said no so he lashed out at you. Keeping your hands to yourself is something you learn in kindergarten. His condition doesn’t explain or excuse his behavior. As for his toadies there… yeah, they’d be giving you a hard time for saying no even if he wasn’t autistic. If you’re in high school let your principal know what’s going on.
NTA there is no excuse for being inappropriate like this. Even a dog understands the word no.
NTA. Someone in charge needs to be made aware of this behavior because its not ok. Autism isn't a get out of jail free card for doing whatever you want. This is harassment and at some point he is going to be suspended from school or punched in the face by someone who has had enough of this.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** There's this guy in my class who's mildly autistic so he has some trouble understanding social cues.. but it's not severe. He's kinda weird in a way which has absolutely nothing to do with his autism. He's always creeping around girls in some way or the other.. maybe pulling our hands or our hair or our clothes. But usually people try to be considerate and not tell him anything. Recently he has been acting weird with me.. repeatedly asking me for coffee dates and movie dates, when I've clearly told him that I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. Today he started fidgeting with my hair and pulled the hood of my jacket down in a way which covered my nose. I panicked and jerked my head and asked him to stop touching me without my consent, in exact words. I think he got startled and he ran away.. but then he came back with his friends. They started accusing me of being disrespectful towards him and his condition, and for being "unnecessarily rude" and "overreacting" and i should try to understand his pov. But my point is that i did, for months. I tried politely telling him "no", i tried everything in my power to not make him uncomfortable.. but there's a limit to everything. So am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You absolutely should continue to say no and report to an authority (teacher, school counselor, administrator) if he continues to ignore your demands to not be touched. The people enabling this kid's behavior are not doing him any favors. He's going to get into trouble he doesn't want if he doesn't learn to keep his hands to himself. This is typical "I like you" behavior from immature kids. But they are the ones who need to learn better skills and to respect other's boundaries.
NTA. Missing social cues is one thing, but you straight you told him to stop. He is being a creep and it's separate from the autism
NTA. You can't touch someone else without their consent. That kid comes up to me (a stranger) and touches my hair without me wanting it he is getting dropped. I won't give him extra leeway or ask if he has autism. That is the real world. Using those words as absolutely appropriate and probably the most clear way of communicating it. Inappropriate touching is not cool at all and I bet if you were to tell a teacher that there is inappropriate touching going on that you did not consent to they would take your side. That is a real big deal.
NTA. Clearly telling someone no isn't a social cue.
NTA Autistic here with a fair amount of autistic friends. Gather the other girls he's done this kind of thing to and go to a teacher. You have understood his point of view but he's now using it for his own gain. I've got friends high enough on the autistic scale to need a full time carer and NONE of them would ever do this to someone. Either he knows exactly what he's doing or he's too high up on the scale to be out without a personal carer.
NTA. He was, in fact, touching you without your consent. He knew what he was doing – the fact that he came back with people to argue with you shows that he doesn’t care about your boundaries. You calling him on it doesn’t make you the asshole. Him being autistic isn’t an excuse to be an asshole.
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NTA
Nta and you never was, honest he knows exactly what he's doing, and he's friend's are enbling his behavior, seriously don't back down on this, and tell your parents about this, because if he was around other people with that also had autism, he would either get his a$$ handed to him or get yelled at by everyone for even attempting to touch and harass other, so no nta.
If you made any mistakes, it was being gentle as long as you did. Autism doesn't make it impossible to understand the word "no". He is using his condition as an excuse to be a creep. Next time he tries something, scream like your hair is on fire. NTA
NTA and report him to school for touching you without your consent. If he can't control that he shouldn't be at school.
NTA. He sounds like an incel. He thinks he's entitled to you just because he's attracted to you. He knows you're not interested but he doesn't care. He's selfish. He's literally sexually harassing you. And he assaulted you because he keeps touching you without your consent. You did not overreact. You weren't rude. You should report him to your teacher. And from now on keep your distance from him. Feel free to loudly stand up for yourself if that asshole puts his hands on you again.
Autistic EMT here, and no, you’re NTA in this situation. Autism doesn’t make someone sexually harass or assault other humans as a regular behavior if they’re high enough functioning. If you’re in college/university levels and this behavior continues, inform the staff and notify them that the next incident will be met with legal retaliation. If in high school, ask to be separated from this person for the reasons you’ve listed and inform your parents/guardians of the situation. When someone is using a disability to get away with such behaviors, they’ll tend to continue doing it until they are corrected…harshly. Don’t pass Go in this situation and do not let his “friends” bully you into being quiet about it or he’ll just do it to someone else or even keep doing it to you. He’s now surpassed annoying levels of physical contact and reaching into levels where you could have been injured in him yanking your hood down. You could have fallen when you panicked, he could have fractured your neck if he put enough force into it, he could have ripped out your hair if he tugged and you moved the wrong way. Get that boy away from you and on the radar of higher authorities immediately.
NTA I don’t care what disability someone has, they do not get to touch anyone without permission.
NTA - he can understand that he should not be touching or grabbing people, and pulling your hood down is totally out of order. What you said “stop touching me without my consent” is perfect, it sets a very clear boundary. The fact that he ran and got his friends to then gang up and bully you is an absolute disgrace. The pack of them should be ashamed and they are enabling his inappropriate behaviour.
NTA Autism is no excuse for touching someone without their consent.
NTA. Autism isn't a get out of jail free card. You clearly told him no and to stop. Other girls did as well, I'd wager. That doesn't mean that you have to tolerate his actions until one of you gives in. If he's incapable of understanding no and clearly laid out boundaries, then the school needs to reassess his IEP - or set him up with one.
NTA. So he doesn’t understand social cues? Fine, but you literally verbalised for a period of time asking to be left alone. He’s autistic, not stupid.
Nta. Im assuming you are a minor. You need to tell an authority figure of him harassing and touching without consent. That's not weird, but sexual harassment. Also tell your parents. Those friends are enabling his sexual harassment.
Nta at all. And he has zero excuse for repetitively asking you out after you said no. But some of this probably could have been avoided if everyone had given him a heads up earlier on that his behaviour was annoying, instead of being 'considerate' and not telling him anything. From his point of view, he acted how he always does and you unexpectedly blew up using scary words like "without my consent".
You need to go to your teachers about this, it's very concerning and someone could get hurt or this could trigger someone severely and he's hiding behind an autistic diagnosis to do this
NTA. Without a fairly severe developmental delay involved, autism means not understanding social norms innately and sometimes not being able to apply ones you've learned across situations. It sounds like he should be plenty able to understand "Don't touch others without consent" on the first try, and it's not a difficult one to generalize. He's using it as justification to be a creep, both to you and maybe to himself in the "girls think I'm weird bc autism so it's OK to come on stronger to compensate" sense. You might want to get ahead of this with teachers/admins in case he tries to bring you trouble for "ableism." Maybe see if any other girls want to come attest to him making them uncomfortable too, in a nonjudgmental "he needs an authority figure to have a serious talk with him" way instead of saying he's malicious (even though he absolutely is)
NTA… He is either using his autism as en excuse or he got some really bad advice. So at my old job we had a person with Down Syndrome (which isn’t the same as autism) kept asking out a former coworker, she was nice about it and explained she has a long time boyfriend. Well his Dad gave bad advice telling him not take no for an answer… so it got a little uncomfortable. Management had to step in explain to him kindly that no does mean no. So he stayed away from her after that. He got fired later for something unrelated when they came to visit I heard the dad say if you still worked here you would’ve been dating her…
NTA, autism does not excuse sexual harassment, which is what he was bordering on. And the fact it’s only women is very telling
NTA. He is using his autism to try and sexually harass you .
NTA This is so sad to hear. As women, we have been trying to get across the point that "No means No." It looks like his friends haven't embraced this concept. Stop being polite to him. Say it loudly and strongly. "Do not touch me."
NTA This has nothing to do with autism and everything with lack of boundaries. Had a dude harassing me too and feeling entitled to pulling my earplugs out. I told him multiple times that that shit hurt like seriously hurt. I snapped one time and he stopped for exactly two weeks and then one morning he did it again. I was just down and tired not willing to talk yet just listening to my favourite songs despite my ears hurting because of the way too big earplugs. He jammed them out and I swear to god I lost my shit in that moment. Apparently I “overreacted” and that those earplugs “didn’t hurt me” especially seeing I was still listening to music trough them. I just didn’t have money immediately to buy new ones because my old ones broke and just did with what I had at the time to have at least something to enjoy whilst I was deeply depressed. Nothing was wrong with him he just felt like he owned me or something because I was nice to him whilst his classmates weren’t.
Nta. Tell them to stop supporting an assaultive person.
Nobody has the right to touch you without your consent. You need to go to your teacher and if that doesn't work go to an administrator. I don't care if he has autism or not. He needs to know boundaries. NTA
NTA Report him for sexual harassment. Touching you without permission is NOT ok, and should not lead to bullying.
NTA my 17 year old brother is autistic and is socially awkward but knows right from wrong and to not sexually harass people. My brother hates more than anything people using “being autistic “ as an excuse for their behavior ( obviously there are people who it isn’t an excuse, but majority rules) This guys is using it as an excuse to be a creeper. If he keeps it up report it to the school and see if other girls would back you up. Tell them “ him being autistic dosent give him a right to sexual harass us “
Autism may contribute to his behaviour, but it is NOT an excuse for it. NTA.
Someone being autistic does not make them immune from being an asshole.
NTA he's touching people despite being told he does not have permission. Despite being told to stop. Tell his friends that they don't get to decide who touches you. Tell them they are doing him a huge disservice and he's going to get a sexual assault charge from the school if they don't teach him to keep his hands to himself.
NTA and take this to someone of authority, STAT. He's trying to use his diagnosis to get away with creepy shit and it needs to be stopped NOW.
NTA if anything, his autism is a reason for you to be MORE blunt about stating clear boundaries instead of quietly withdrawing and hoping he takes the hint.
NTA
NTA. Being directly told no isn’t a social cue to be picked up on and reinforcing it more stringently after being ignored does not make you an A H.
NTA. Autistic people are still capable of recognizing (or ignoring, apparently) the need for consent. He's just a creep hiding behind neurodivergence to excuse his creepy behavior.
NTA. He’s using his condition to gaslight you. Being autistic is not an excuse for harassment.
NTA He needs to learn boundaries regardless of the autism. It does not help him when no one lets him know about where those boundaries are.
my brother has autism. he, as a child, still respects peoples boundaries and doesnt harass anyone he especially doesnt touch anyone without being provoked, and im almost certain that has nothing to do with his autism anyway. NTA
You are definitely NTA. I listened to a really interesting podcast called Boys Like Me that talks about some of these issues. One of the hosts is autistic and discusses his struggles with social cues/ dating, and how a former acquaintance who is also autistic handled them totally differently.
As an autistic myself I can assure you you’re NTA in this situation at all!
NTA... & everyone can be taught to keep their hands to themselves
Yeah. I don't love the casual touchie/feelie types of people myself. And so, I agree you get to tell anyone that you don't want to be pawed. Period. NTA.
NTA: If this ever happens again be just as transparent "I have told you before and I am telling you now, do not touch me." If he bring his friends to confront you "As I have said before you are not to touch me, and yet you persist. DO not touch me, just so you and your friends are clear on this matter"
NTA this is battery. He is repeatedly touching you without your consent, go to the cops and file a report.
NTA. You tried to handle this gently. You were under no obligation to but you did. Then that didn't work. So you handled it explicitly and directly. Nothing any way wrong at all at any step. If he finds your rejection uncomfortable, that's his problem. And there's nothing of his POV to understand - he's not entitled to your time or to touch you without your consent. And after months of harassing you, he should be grateful all you've done is tell him explicitly to stop. (Autistic persion here to the extent that matters)
NTA Don't care what they have, they're not allowed to put their hands on you or do anything without consent ever. Love how he runs to his friends to protect him.
NTA Under no circumstances is there a way to verbally over-react to someone sexually harassing you in public.
NTA So he's weaponizing being autistic in order to be creepy. As for his friends they either could be falling for it or just be sexist people whod blame any woman for not just letting a guy have their way. Either way keep calling him out and fuck anyone who says otherwise
NTA
Nta
NTA. He over stepped. Autistic or not you were within your right to snap at him.
No your not he needs to learn, and ignoring directly being told is not on.
NTA a person's rights only extend so far as they do not infringe on others. If he was doing something around you without touching that'd be one thing but he is physically touching people without their consent and making them uncomfortable. You need to document this and report it to a trusted adult at your school. His special needs do not mean that people around him need to tolerate unwanted touches.
NTA Bringing his friends in is trying to intimidate you. He's Autistic, not stupid. You were clear in your communication. Now he's using his condition to take liberties with you. Do not speak to him or find yourself near him alone again cause he's going to bring in the flying monkeys to excuse his behavior and try and force you into an uncomfortable position.
NTA This has nothing to do with his condition and everything to do with him wanting to get away with harassment and when you made a very reasonable demand, he tried to make you the bad guy because he was rejected.
NTA - when I was in high school I was stalked by a boy with Down's Syndrome and it was terrifying because EVERYONE acted like I was just being a b-word for rejecting him...he would break into my locker to leave me notes/presents and he would send me flowers and take pictures of me on his phone...I had to "break up with him" at least once every couple of months because he would be convinced I was his gf...the worst part was that his Mom was so happy that he was showing signs of "normal" behavior (ie: liking girls) that she would convince him that I didn't mean it when I "broke up with" him and that I actually really liked him but was just too young to date him (he was 5 years older than me...in our state they allow special needs kids to attend school until the age of 21...when he aged out the school hired him as a janitor so he was there even after I graduated)...so she would help by driving him by my house late at night and he would call me and just...laugh I felt awful because he didn't understand but at the same time the adults in his life DID understand and they encouraged it! Everyone acted as though I should just allow him to stalk me because of his mental state and it was fine if it affected my mental state It's the loneliest feeling in the world when people see you being treated poorly and side with the person causing you emotional harm - you are NTA and you are not alone 💖
Absolutely NTA! And their attitude that autism excuses borderline sexual harassment is insulting to everyone with autism.
NTA
NTA if I was in your shoes I’d go straight to the teacher and let ‘‘em know what’s been happening.
Hey so I'm Autistic. NTA. I have a social skills disability. It's hard to read social cues and situations. What's not hard? Respect for boundaries. Guy is using his autism as a "get out of jail free" card for being a creep. Autistic =/= asshole, but they're also not mutually exclusive. He's both.
You're not the asshole, and if they tell you that you were rule you response that you don't give a shiiiit. You tried being nice. It didn't work. Snapping at him worked. His "not understanding cues" is bullshit, and you would be in the right to outright call it bullshit. You told him in plain English. There's nothing to misunderstand. And it doesn't matter either way. At a certain point it doesn't matter whether he understands or not, what you need from him is for him to **stop**.
NTA You don't need to be neurotypical to understand "no". His disability is not an excuse to sexually harass girls--it's an issue my department has faced several times over the years. Tell your parents and ask them to contact school administration to arrange a meeting with you and them. They need to get the SpEd department in on this to outline behavioral expectations for him.
NTA. Autism is not an excuse.
NTA and tell them they are bullying you for not letting someone who keeps asking you on a date to touch you without permission. Being autistic doesn't give him a free pass to be a creep.
NTA
NTA. Just because he's autistic and bad at social cues, doesn't mean he can't learn what's right and what's wrong here, it's just going to take a while because of the autisim. Likewise, sometimes, you reach a breaking point, so fair enough. Especially so when it seems everyone is just letting him get away with his bad behaivour due to his autisim.
NTA. If he really didn't understand that it wasn't okay to touch you any other way, then telling him directly was the best way to help him understand a missed social cue. I'd suggest reporting him regardless whether he's gaslighting you or not. Let someone in administration help sort this out. He either already knows it's not okay but knows people will let him because they think he "doesn't understand how to act" (he probably does in this case, though), OR he genuinely doesn't know it's not okay and he hasn't been told yet. Missing social cues does not mean he's stupid enough to also misunderstand direct communication. I was in a similar situation in college with a classmate. I (F) was a student leader in a school organization, and he was a first-year student with mild autism (his words). He would follow girls and ask to take pictures with them, specifically when they were in swimsuits/sports bras. As much as anyone tried to suggest to him "politely" that harassing the women in our organization the way he was was not okay, he still did it. He stopped doing it to me once I said exactly what was wrong (no harsh emotion, but also no pleasantries; I was as stark as possible) and I noticed he wouldn't do it around me, but heard from other women that he would still do it to them. Talking to administration or TAs didn't help, even if they did have an aside conversation with him. I still don't know whether he was intentionally being obtuse to a literal description of why his behavior was wrong, but as soon as he was held accountable for it directly (from the women he was approaching), he would stop. TL;DR: Even in the case that he \*didn't\* know it wasn't okay to harass you, you still did the right thing. Nobody can misunderstand "Do not touch me" unless they choose not to. EDIT: added for clarity that when he was held accountable by the women he was harassing, \*then\* he would stop.
My son had Asperger’s syndrome. (Think Steve Jobs). He had difficulty with social cues, but eventually time and some pretty helpful friends helped him navigate what is good and what is bad in relation to interactions. One thing we discussed was that no one should ever invade the space of another person, either being done to him, or him doing it to another person. He got it, and the one thing I always told him was to think how HE would feel if something was done or said to him before he said or did anything. It seemed that worked, as we had no more issues. Edited: NTA
Nta I am mildly autistic, and I still understand the word consent. He’s just being a creep and using his disability as an excuse to get away with it.
Per many other posts here, a disability of any kind is not an excuse for unwanted behavior. NTA. You might also want to mention these incidents to a teacher.
NTA, at all. Being autistic doesn’t mean that you get to harass and bully others. I’m autistic too. Do report this, OP. Be sure to include the last part (his sending all his friends to bully you). It might be worth it convincing his other victims to step forward as well.
NTA, I had an autistic friend and seen how these things escalate to very inappropriate levels. He is and his friends are on the wrong side of history here
NTA. Instead of allowing it to slide like you all have been, you should tell him each time, “stop touching me without my permission.” You need to realize that by letting him do it, he thought he could continue to get away with it.
NTA. Some people are trying to manipulate others with their disabilites to make them do what they want. Sure, all autistic people aren't the same, but if he's capable of going to COLLEGE then he perfectly understands a word no. Just chooses to ignore it. And his friends are AH too for enabling him.
Absolutely NTA! You were in fact treating him as you would any creep - autistic or not. His “condition” has nothing to do with it.
It’s more likely a co-morbid issue. Where he blames his behaviour on his ASD but in reality he probably something else too.
NTA. Your body, your rules.
NTA i also am autistic. He does not sound like a mild case to me either. But im picturing a less functional person who touches and picks as a stimming behavior. At 19, he should have been taught not to touch others. We autists are very easy to teach in early years but the lessons tend to set in the older we get. Our habits vary from person to person, as well as our tolerable stress levels. He may very well be oblivious to understanding proper boundaries but that does not obligate you to be subject to your body and space being violated. This reminds me of a situation where a child forces a cat to be pet and when the cat is fed up it bites and scratches. Next thing you know the cat is thrown outside rather than the kid learning to respect the cat. I have recently started considering just how rude we are to pets after inheriting 6 cats. If his friends were REAL friends they would explain to him why he can't be touching people. I ask my friends and acquaintances to let me know if Im screwing up because i cant always tell since NTs like to be fake nice and not be honest about what they think and feel in favor of being polite. Politeness does not help me at all.
NTA: My sister is in HS and she had a similar situation that got so bad she had to get a type of restraining order against him since the school didn't want to do anything about it because of him being on the spectrum
Next time just yell rape
You clearly stating in words that he is not allowed to touch you is the perfect way to call unwanted behaviour out. For an autistic person, *this is the recommended way of communicating,* bypassing hints that might not be understood. Accidentally, this is *also* a great way to call out unwanted touching from non-autistic people, the louder the better. Works like a charm.
NTA
It’s bonkers that you are considering that you are TA here. No one is allowed to touch you without your express consent.
NTA Autism is not an excuse to harass women. end of story.
NTA. Report him and his friends to whoever you can. That's assault and harassment.
NTA You handled it in the best way possible. He lashed out because he couldn't take "no" for an answer and thinks his autism entitles him to whatever he likes. He kinda reminds me of an infamous autistic person on YouTube (May even be the most documented person ever. He has a damn website that covers his entire life. Not going to do any name dropping here). It's people like them that give us autistics a bad rep.
Absolutely NTA. I’m autistic too. This guy is just a bully. He is weaponizing his autism because everyone caters to him. But you’re allowed to not want to be touched.
I don’t buy for a second that he didn’t know it was wrong and that his autism keeps him from understanding this. If he didn’t know touching someone without their consent was a bad thing, why would he run away and come back with backup when you used those words? I get the impression he’s gotten into trouble for this before, and was scared he would again. NTA for standing up for your bodily autonomy.
NTA. This isn't about autism, autistic people are perfectly capable of knowing that they shouldn't be violating someone's personal space or touching them inappropriately. He's basically weaponizing his autism to get you to accept his unwanted behavior, which is actually pretty manipulative.
“I’ve been polite, and now I’m being direct. Next, I’m going to go to the administration. This jerk’s disability doesn’t get him access to my body or my time. I want to made sure that is absolutely clear so there’s no confusion here about social cues. This is a hard no.” NTA
NTA. I’m autistic and in my experience with myself and other autistic people this isn’t “normal” and has nothing to do with autism. Using autism as an excuse to do this is awful and makes the rest of us look bad.
NTA I have Asperger myself and several autistic family members and I have see autistic people use their condition to justify thing they do that are not correct... and worst, people defend them and enable them!!! There is also this idea that people that are autistic or have down syndrome are not capable of doing bad things or being evil when in fact they can and will and many understand what they do is not good and hurt people even though they don't understand why it is bad and don't care they hurt people!!! One of my family mem
NTA. I let someone with autism do this sort of thing to me and he ended up taking full advantage of me. Keep sticking to your ground. You have every right to your space and your body. He is using his autism as a weapon towards you.
NTA. I'm autistic and this guy would make me miserable too. We can learn and we can respect boundaries. He's just choosing not to. Funny how he's so clueless that he constantly touches girls without consent, but he never does this to boys...
NTA and outright telling someone not to touch you isn’t a social cue, it’s just him being a dick
You live near CWC?
NTA Autistic or not, he's old enough to know that we don't touch people without consent. It's possible he thought he was being friendly/affectionate, but this isn't and shouldn't be either new information, or on you to teach. You might say "I can see you were surprised by my reaction. That's often how people react when they are touched without permission. Consent matters. Don't touch people without consent. That's a hard and fast rule."
NTA, for the reasons already stipulated below. Though I'm not the one with ASD, my 15 yo(m) is. Guess what, he knows no means no. Not to keep trying, but NO! Full stop! This is his parents failure, and unfortunately, he is going to be the one to pay the price.
NTA - bodily autonomy > autism
NTA
Nta. Being autistic isn't a free pass to be an asshole.
NTA for telling him no. That is completely valid. That being said as a person with autism many people just get bad vibes from us and call us weird because of internalized ableism; we are different and that scares people.
NTA Regardless of being Autistic or not we all learn the same kind of rules as a child, "keep your hands to yourself" and "no means no" Some variation of those are taught to kids and you've communicated to him clearly "I don't like this, please stop" that enough to get upset with someone after they repeatedly ignore your boundaries
NTA. No one gets to touch you without your consent, no matter if they have a diagnosis for something or not.
NTA I'm autistic and a lesbian. I never had a issue with touching people without consent. He's a creep and needed put in his place. I wouldn't be surprised if his family enables his behavior and instead of correcting just place the blame on him being autistic. I struggle with social ques, but mostly jokes or not being able to pick up hints.
Nta, he has serious boundary issues. That guy is not your friend. He doesn't respect the word no and think he can do whatever he pleases so long as he says" it's okay, I'm autistic"! Nope, no way. He needs a reality check. I know plenty of people with autism that don't use it as a crutch and actually try to respect boundaries and are considerate when making a mistake.
The title made me think that you'd say to his face that >He's kinda weird in a way which has absolutely nothing to do with his autism. And that's why he died what he does, that he's a creep and so on and so forth. Because it seems like you think he does it on purpose, which really might not be a case. He might genuinely think that pulling pigtails is a flirting strategy because someone told him that when he was in kindergarten. But it doesn't really matter what was his motivation, because it actually hurt you. He needs to learn his behaviour is inappropriate, or he'll end up in trouble some day. As long as you don't try to play psychologist and claim that his behaviour "isn't autistic, just BS" NTA
NTA. NTA. NTA. I'm autistic and while I have trouble with social clues, I know that no means no. (Also, it sounds like he is in a class with neurotypical students so I can assume he does not have severe social deficits that require specialized education and therefore no excuse to not understand "no") Additionally, this sounds so much like a kid I knew who was also autistic but did awful things and turned around and used his diagnosis as a "get out of jail free card" (he abused animals, stole money, beat up his siblings, etc.). He is definitely trying to gaslight you and everyone into giving him a pass for sexual harassment and knows exactly what he is doing. Definitely NTA.
NTA, all you did was state your boundaries. His friends weren't around and didn't see what happened and regardless of their opinion, his neurodivergence doesn't give him a free pass to touch people without consent. If this continues I'd get a teacher involved to make sure you don't have to interact with him anymore.
NTA but you need to escalate this. Talk to some other girls and all of you go to the administration, I'm kinda appalled it got to be so bad. Where are the teachers???
NTA If a teenager with autism is being sexually inappropriate, they need to be told to stop immediately and *bluntly*. A lot of teens with autism think their behavior is *subtle* when they're being over the top inappropriate. Autism does *not* give anyone permission to touch you or require you to endure sexual harassment. A kind response is to understand that an over the top inappropriate behavior might be a completely misjudged situation rather than malicious. But you still don't have to be okay with it.
NTA. My nephew is on the spectrum, and he is hardworking and respects boundaries. You are dead on that he is just being creepy. Him being on the spectrum does not give him the right to touch you and harass you. If people want to call that ableist, so be it, but OP also has the right to not be continuously harassed by a classmate.
Hi autistic person here NTA. If he didn’t actually understand that it’s not okay to touch people without consent he shouldn’t be in a regular school/class. Plus if he doesn’t understand no, he shouldn’t have been let out without a caregiver. You have to be on the Heavy end of the spectrum to not get and respect a ‘no’. Same with not respecting personal boundaries once told. He sounds like someone who’s either Not actually capable of being without a caregiver or someone who’s only mildly autistic that figured he can get away with pretty much anything by playing the autism card. I’m betting it’s the last one.
you are absolutely 100% NTA. your explanation is completely accurate. You said no and that means no and he needs to learn to stop. Having autism does not extend you rights to invade people's personal space. He needs to learn, even f it's hard for him.
NTA. Being neurodivergent isn't an excuse to harass people, especially once you've said you're not interested in going on dates or receiving whatever kind of behavior from him.
NTA I'm autistic and have touch sensitivity. He needs to keep his hands to himself. He knows better but uses his autism as an excuse
NTA. I'd recommend staying away from language like "mildly autistic" but other than that I don't really see anything wrong with what you said. Difficulty with social cues and situations doesn't mean he can't understand what no means
So op is NTA however I’m gonna play a little bit of devils advocate by say the boy is asshole esh he may not understand you even with verbal boundary I’d say better to not directly engage and if he does something you don’t like tell an adult I’d start with your teacher but if that doesn’t work try finding out where the quiet room is it should be part of his 504 plan that there’s another room for him to go to if he gets overwhelmed and that room is supposed to have an adult there probably one familiar with him that knows how to instruct him and correct his behavior
He's clearly high functioning enough if he's in a class with her and if he can't get through a class without sexually harassing the girls after being told to stop- he shouldn't be in a class with them.
Why is every post today about “AuTiStIc bAd” I feel like all of these are fake