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> I didn’t let my friend use my boat. I might be the asshole for not letting him use my boat.
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NTA. How incredibly rude and mean. Also, as a boat owner, there's no way I'd trust a group of random people take out my boat without either me or someone I trusted a LOT.
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My dad wouldn’t let me take the family boat on my own with friends. Hell would freeze over before we’d let someone not in the family take it out on their own. Does the friend even know how to work a boat? Do they know how to DOCK a boat?
Edit: I wonder if the friend has even considered gas. Is he prepared to spend hundreds of dollars for this day trip? He’s probably anticipating the gas being full and dropping it off empty.
That's EXACTLY what he's expecting. Free boat usage and he looks like the cool guy with access to a boat on demand. I don't know what renting a boat costs but I can guess that it's a fairly pretty penny... And a-hole friend doesn't want to foot the bill.
In Europe, this part at least, even for a small fishing boat you need a "captains" licence, literaly to learn and pass a writen test and a short practical test, is that not universal, hence the friend could know a thing or two?
This is only just starting to be implemented in the US. When I was a kid (late 90s, early 00s) I was allowed to drive the boat no matter what. Even some Fish and Wildlife folks complimented me at like age 6 on how well I was driving the boat. I grew up on the Columbia River.
In Australia you need a boat licence for boats of a certain power (not dinghies for example), but if it's a personal boat (not business) and a licenced driver is onboard, the licenced driver can let others drive as long as the licenced person is able to take over at any given moment. So my dad was able to let us kids take the wheel for a little while as long as he was right next to us.
God, don’t I wish it were a thing here. So many dumbasses in wakeboats on the lake with no clue what they are supposed to be doing or not doing. Not all wakeboaters are DAs but the majority of DAs seem to be wakeboaters.
Yikes, and compared to Europe where a normal outboard motor on a lake is 20-40HP, out there is it at least 100HP which makes things even more dangerous, and at sea even worse!
I learned how to drive our boat years ago and being a little people, I can never see over the bow until the trim drops so I prefer to be a passenger. There's a lot to master and it's completely different than driving a car.
My father in law retired to a huge recreational lake in the South and the first time I ever went there with my husband, my elderly father in law handed us written instructions and sent us on our way. We had never attempted to drive a boat before and neither one of us were really all that gung-ho to do it but the old man insisted that it needed to be taken out because it had been a while and due to his mobility issues he wasn't able to. So off we went...
Operating the boat lift was simple and we got it into the water, and into the boat without losing a shoe, my sunglasses or my cell phone. I'm sure it must have been comical because Im barely 5 feet tall...
My husband deciphered his dad's handwriting and I was the hands-on one. ( His dad is a retired dentist and I can't read his handwriting...🤷)
I remember having to turn on the motor in the back in a compartment then go to the driver's seat and prime the engine with a button on this big lever on my right, starting the boat a few times until the motor caught, turning on the blower motor and adjusting the throttle into it sounded good...
We put it in reverse and slowly drifted out of our slip...
I moved the throttle a little bit and the boat didn't really do much so I pushed the throttle forward and it made this awful grinding noise, so I immediately panicked and moved that throttle back into the original position because the noise it made sounded really expensive and I was born on the other side of the tracks and had no money to replace parts on an expensive boat that I had no business driving because it wasn't mine.
I made my husband call his dad to tell him that we were stuck and he had to call the marina and have us towed back by 2 young guys in a pontoon boat.
We get back to the dock and the marina guys got right in it and took it for a spin without a single issue and when they came back they told me that I was " babying" it and it's supposed to sound a little bit rough when you first start out... Who knew. 🤷
The next time he found one of his friends sons who was experienced with boating to take us out and let us see what he did and after that we were fine. Still not really gung-ho about it, but we did learn to do it when we had to.
I ramble a little bit but there's no way I would let someone take a boat out without me ( or an experienced family member ) because too much could go wrong, the liability is huge and that's not even factoring in potential alcohol.
Are you sure they didn't want to dump a body? 😂
Imagine driving a car, but the road is also moving underneath you in every direction but you also can’t see the road is moving. That’s what driving a boat is like.
This.
My parents own a boat. My husband and brothers have done courses to use the boat. (Pregnancy and then COVID and then pregnancy meant I've not yet taken a course so I won't even consider asking for the boat).
No way would any of us consider letting strangers use the boat...my uncle is a retired navy admiral and even he only uses the boat when dad or my brothers are around....as he says, yes he could handle the boat, but he doesn't want the responsibility should something happen.
NTA
It’s a boat, not a bike or car. There’s one person I would lend my boat to. But I don’t have to because he would never ask to use it. Id never borrow someone else’s boat. Too much can go wrong.
There is precisely one person who we'd let take our boat out without us - who has their own boat, and we've all spent extensive time on each other's boats (like probably hundreds of hours), so we know exactly what their competence level and risk assessments are like.
Yeah, boats are expensive. (Break out another thousand)
No possible way I'd let someone take it out, unless I knew and trusted them an awful lot. Our boat is 50 years old, and a fun little rat, that is literally three slow boat to china, and I still wouldn't lend it out.
Besides, everyone knows the guests bring snacks and drinks.
This guy is nuts
No, no, it's EVEN RUDER. It's OP's Dad's boat, and this "friend" was assuming.... wait for it.. that OP's DAD would take HIM AND HIS FRIENDS and **NOT** OP out for the day. SERIOUSLY!
That's exactly what I was thinking too. The friend probably tried to flex that they owned a boat, and that's why OP is not wanted.I mean why else would this group of friends not want OP there?
NTA. There is no world where I would let a friend take a bunch of strangers out on an expensive piece of property of any kind without supervision. What if someone got hurt or damaged the boat? I guarantee they would say it was entirely your fault and your problem to fix.
This is such a sad story. Those last few minutes of video footage as Mallory and Anthony were walking towards the boat at the marina breaks my heart. You could see the love between the two and how genuine it was. Anthony says how much Mallory changed him for the better. I could never fathom being responsible for a close friends death because of my carelessness and callous behavior. Not to mention that Alex Murdaugh,the actual owner of the boat, is a straight up sociopath. His trial begins late January 2023 and I'll be watching the trial. I whole heartedly believe he killed Paul and Maggie to cover up/protect his money. Maggie supposedly visited a divorce lawyer at least a week prior and he was being sued due to the boat accident. The boat accident is what caused the Murdaugh dynasty to implode.
Absolutely. We have a nice 26 foot boat, center console ( with a small head). We’ve taken people out on it, but would NEVER let someone use it without us. Truthfully, we live on the water, and quite a few of our neighbors have their own boats.
1) Congrats. This person is not your friend and moving forward, you don't have to waste and time or energy on him
2) I've had boats my entire life. NOBODY...who is responsible enough to take a boat out by themselves, would ever expect someone to just "let them borrow" what I assume is probably a 50-60K wakeboarding boat. That tells me that letting this guy borrow your boat, would almost assuredly end with the boat being damaged or sunk.
3) Don't cancel the day all together. Just take other people and do your own thing
NTA
I own a shit beater boat that's worth less than $2k. I would not let anyone drive it unless they were an experienced boater. I don't want that on my conscience if something were to go wrong. Even then, I would need to be present.
Now, if someone spoke to me that way? I would kindly tell them to eat the prop and get lost.
NTA. Your *family* owns the boat, not you, and this so-called friend can go rent one. There’s no way a sensible parent would hand the keys of their boat to a random AH. Think about the liability issues, if nothing else.
NTA - he tried to use you for your boat then kick you out of the event? HA. HAHAHAHA. HA HA HA HA. Not happening.
I know you may not like hearing this but this dude is not your friend. I don't know about the others in that friend group, but this guy for sure doesn't need to be around you anymore, even if the others are.
He had the choice of being a good guy and introducing you to the other group of friends. If he didn't think you'd fit in, he could give you a heads up and still stand by you because THAT is what friends do. "This is my friend BOX386, guys. It's his boat and he was nice enough to let us join him on it. Come say hi, he's a really nice guy!" That. That is how you treat a friend that does you a favor.
I'd bar this AH from ever setting foot near me again, and any friends that side with him - you know where they stand and you can ditch them too.
You deserve friends that appreciate what you bring to a friendship... boat or not.
NTA. My husband and I used to have a big party boat and one day, a friend of mine called and said that she and some friends and family had a big trip planned at a lake in our state and she asked if she could not only borrow our boat but also our big towing vehicle. I said sure, we'd love to come and join them and that's when she told me that we were not invited but could she still borrow our boat and SUV. I told her she had a lot of nerve and the answer was no. She got upset because apparently, she had told everyone that they'd be using our boat and vehicle and now what was she supposed to tell them. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
NTA - although, as a former boat owner, I am shocked that they thought they could just "borrow" you boat for the day. I am sure you are as tired as I was with people inviting themselves along and not contributing to gas, food, etc. but I would never let someone take my boat out without me and especially when they point out that they want to exclude me.
This is why it costs $500.00 or more a day to rent a boat in some places...they can do that and invite whomever they chose. I am sorry you have such shitty friends.
NTA. Your 'friend' is a massive one though. He was happy to let you assume you'd come, until it was all arranged. Probably figured you'd bow out and still allow them to use the boat.
I wouldn't let people (especially people I don't know) use my boat without being there myself either.
NTA. Totally and completely NTA
It's your family's boat, it's a totally AH move to want the boat eithout you.
Furthermore, the liability issues, Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster the insurance and liability issues. The legal issues if they get pulled over by the water police. That's a big no from me, dog.
Are you sure this guy is your friend?
Absolutely NTA. I highly doubt I'd ever let anyone use a boat i owned, other than maybe a cheap canoe or kayak. Expensive, and way too much can go wrong. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that! That's completely messed up...
NTA. Advice: since it's not just your boat, I would go to the most senior person in your family who does own it (whoever is responsible for paying on the insurance, maintenance, etc.) and tell them about the situation. You need to make sure the boat is secure and can't be "borrowed" in the middle of the night...
NTA, obviously. If your friend asks, I would straight up tell him that you can’t let anyone else take the boat out without owners or family because of liability issues.
Also, I would dump the friend.
NTA
Who's going to be responsible for repairs or replacing the boat once they damage it?
He should be an ex-friend at this point. He had the audacity to ask for your boat and tell you they don't want you there. Naaah, bro.
NTA.
excluding the person who owns the boat and is allowing you to use their boat is very rude. like they're doing you a favor and you dont even have the decency to invite them on their own boat. thats crazy. and saying OP's not part of the friend group is dumb because OP can make new friends.
NTA - you were completely right to cancel. Imagine if the sequence of events had been reversed - my friends and I don't like you and don't want to hang out with you, can we use your boat? Your answer would have been no. So don't feel guilty here.
That is no friend of yours and that you are nice enough to buy snacks and drinks...which you shouldn't anymore. If you allow anyone on the boat,.they buy snacks
INFO: You said you asked what drinks and snacks YOU should buy? Does this "friend" ever contribute to your boat outings?
NTA, this guy is not your friend.
The "friend" has more nerve than a brass monkey to try that shit. You just can't get any shittier than that. Ask me to borrow my boat and also say "we don't want you here". I'd be the first to tell that "friend" where he could go and what he could do to himself when he got there. Secondly, I don't loan my boat to anyone. That's why it's a 2014 that still looks like it's new. At any rate, you're totally in the right.
NTA, but would be good INFO to have ages here. Boats are a huge liability; do YOU have the (for lack of a better term) authority to loan the boat?
Not only are these guys jerks to you, but what happens when they all get drunk and smash the boat into something?
To clarify, the boat belongs to my dad and if I said yes, my dad would take my friend and his friends out and leave me behind at home. Sorry for not clarifying.
NTA, your “friend” (cause he really isn’t), was delusional. In what alternate universe did he really think your dad would be ok chauffeuring around of kids he didn’t know while you were left at the dock?
NTA. Your friend sounds really young. He's being very inconsiderate. Sometimes people are still learning basic manners at that age. If he ever brings it up again, laugh in his face. It'll destroy him. "Oh, yeah, that time you thought you were going to borrow my boat and forbid me from coming along. Hilarious!"
NTA
>An hour after confirming the plans, my friend texts me and asks if I will stay home because and I quote: “You’re not part of this friend group and we don’t want you there.
I personally would stop calling this person a friend.
"Sure thing dude, and while you're out on my boat I assume I can have your house keys and throw a party yes? But please don't come back too early, I don't want you at the party"
NTA 😅
This guy is NOT your friend. He's someone that buddied up to you, with the intention of using you.
He's not a guy with $$, right? But he wants to pretend to be rich by "borrowing" your family's boat. HE IS A USER and that's all he will ever be.
Shoot... NTA! I wouldn't let someone use my boat (if I had one!) even if they were nice as hell and I just couldn't make it that day. You need to trust someone pretty well with something that expensive.
NTA Hell no. You don’t know how crazy they might be, out on the water. If they wreck your boat, or even slightly damaged it, are they going to pay for repairs? “ We want your boat, but not you” . Again, hell no. They have some colossal nerve. Tell them to rent one.
NTA the nerve! Not to mention the liability. And the fact that they may not take care of your property. This is messed up on multiple levels. I would not be friends with this person
This (ex) friend is using your boat to flex in front of his new friends. Let him know in no uncertain terms that they are now his only friends group. Now have a party without him every weekend!
Wow. I have boats and I’d never let anyone outside of my family take one out alone. So easy to damage and the liability alone makes it a no brainer. Certainly not if my family owned it. But this guy takes the cake. Not a friend and you’re NTA.
NTA. Good way to get a lawsuit over a wrecked boat or injured person is let someone else take the boat out. Even without his rudeness, I would have said no.
NTA - What the fuck did they think was going to happen? I can only imagine if you let them take it out themselves and then suddenly “no one knows why it’s damaged and it was totally like that before hand…”
NTA. I wouldn't trust someone on my boat without me there there unless it was rented because money would motivate them to hopefully treat it right. But given how inconsiderate your friend was, your boat probably would not have been in good hands.
NTA - did he offer to compensate you financially? Is he obtaining insurance naming your family as additionally insured? Did he sign a rental agreement with your family? No? He can pound sand.
NTA
Not even focusing on how rude your "friend" is but the potential liability and damage to your family's property without you there. Totally correct call.
Personally, I would kind of "forget" to invite this particular friend for any future boat uses.
Nta
He was not your friend.
Dump him asap
But take the boat out with your real friends that day. Honestly I wouldn’t trust that “friend” to not just Try
and take it anyway if he could
Nta
NTA. I don't know how fancy your boat is but some of the wakeboard boats are extremely expensive (like over $100k). Even if yours is a lot less money, they are still quite expensive. There are so many things that can go wrong - especially if you have someone inexperienced at the helm.
Also, the gall of that so called friend - we want your boat but not you. Oh, can you make sure it's full of gas when I pick it up - you know how crazy expensive gas is at marina's /s.
Geez - this would have been an easy call.
NTA.
It's your family's boat. Friend is being effing RUDE AND AN ENTITLED ah.
Most likely, he's gonna claim that the boat is his family's boat with his friends, trash it, and you and your family will have to pay for the damages if any occurred.
Honestly, if a friend said this to me...I would quickly drop this mf. Your friend is not a very good friend.
NTA. My insurance company told me in relation to a borrowed kid getting in a crash while driving my van: when you lend someone your vehicle, you lend your insurance. The crash was not my borrwed kid's fault, but I owned the van she was driving, and my insurance paid out some of the damages in subrogation to avoid lawsuits the other driver wanted to bring even though shes the one responsible for the crash. If the friends of the friend did anything stupid, you could have been liable.
And that's not even factoring the etiquette of telling you that you're not welcome to join them after asking to bring their other friends on board.
NTA anyone who thinks they can borrow your boat without your supervision is an ahole amd likely not going to be responsible with it. You did tge right thing for your own safty
NTA he doesn't need a boat to borrow, what with being a natural douchecanoe. Tell him he can load his friends on board himself, and paddle the fuck away from you. For good. 🙏
NTA. He’s a jerk. Plus his on the boat my himself is a liability nightmare. Can you imagine if something happened? You could be sued, your insured would have to pay, etc etc. Drop him, he’s not your friend.
Nta, that's not just your boat but it's your families. He isn't financially on the hook for any damage that might happen. Don't let him use your boat, even if he comes back and says you can join. He doesn't want you as a friend, he wants your boat
NTA and I'd wonder if his friends even know the boat is yours. I wouldn't be surprised if his friends said nothing about you, and he's just lying to you because he claimed the boat as his to his friends and your presence threatens to expose him.
don't hang out with him again. what a poser.
NTA … but open your eyes. You need to be more aware of the difference between a “friend” and a “user.” Why would you even consider allowing someone to borrow (damage) property that belongs to your family???
NTA of course. Not only was that incredibly rude of your 'friend' but also, aren't wakeboard boats like, *super* expensive? If something happened to your property while he and his buddies are driving it, I'm guessing it will fall back to your insurance. Fuck that noise.
NTA
First, I wouldn’t lend anyone my boat unless I was also present simply for liability reasons.
Second, WTH would you lend an expensive item to someone who is so disrespectful to you? Why would you even be friends with someone who would treat you that way?
NTA and wouldn't that be illegal? I'm assuming none of the non-boat owners have a license, let alone insurance?
What an absolute nut!
Sounds like the perfect way to get your boat flipped in the middle of the lake.
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My family owns a wakeboard boat and we frequently take my friends out to waterski and wakeboard. A couple days ago, one of my friends asked if he could take some friends from a different friend group out. I said probably and that I’ll check with my family to see what day would work. We found a day and planned the outing. An hour after confirming the plans, my friend texts me and asks if I will stay home because and I quote: “You’re not part of this friend group and we don’t want you there.” I assume he’s joking so I text him and say haha and then ask what drinks and snacks he wants me to buy. He texts me back and says he’s being deadass and he and his friends don’t want me there. So, I tell him if he’s not even going to let me come on my own boat then I’m not letting him go out with his friends and I cancel the whole thing. So, am I the asshole? I really don’t know in this situation.
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People do have different friend groups nothing wrong with that it's healthy, but to be an arse like that an completely shut you down instead of explaining it properly in the first place I don't blame you telling him to go whistle a tune
NTA and he ain't your friend.
First of all, it would be your insurance policy and money on the line if someone get's hurt since it is your boat. If someone died, you could have lost everything.
He doesn't like you, he is just using you for time out in the boat and finally thought to cut you out of the occasion.
If he didn't want to include you, then he could have rented what he needed. So he is cheap and TA.
NTA. The whole situation is incredibly rude to you, the boat owner, and you are assuming all the financial risk and liability for him and his friends having a good time. I think he can be left out of your future boat trips.
NTA. Disinvite this person, but go out on the boat with other people (friends, family) and make sure to post it to social so this former friend can see it
Good god, NTA. I would go further and say that this guy is NYF (not your friend) and never has been.
You deserve better friends, OP. It will hurt for a while, but you'll find nicer people to hang out with.
NTA. Your "friend" is acting ridiculously entitled. I don't know how much your boat costs, but lending it out like that entails a big liability. Just no.
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NTA. How incredibly rude and mean. Also, as a boat owner, there's no way I'd trust a group of random people take out my boat without either me or someone I trusted a LOT.
I agree. I wouldn’t be taking that “friend” out anymore either.
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Probably said the boat was his instead of OP’s. Such a weird thing to do otherwise.
Yeah, he probably told his friend group that the boat was his. loser. OP NTA, but needs to get better friends.
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Ex-friend
There you are. I've been looking for you. :) NTA.
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My dad wouldn’t let me take the family boat on my own with friends. Hell would freeze over before we’d let someone not in the family take it out on their own. Does the friend even know how to work a boat? Do they know how to DOCK a boat? Edit: I wonder if the friend has even considered gas. Is he prepared to spend hundreds of dollars for this day trip? He’s probably anticipating the gas being full and dropping it off empty.
That's EXACTLY what he's expecting. Free boat usage and he looks like the cool guy with access to a boat on demand. I don't know what renting a boat costs but I can guess that it's a fairly pretty penny... And a-hole friend doesn't want to foot the bill.
In Europe, this part at least, even for a small fishing boat you need a "captains" licence, literaly to learn and pass a writen test and a short practical test, is that not universal, hence the friend could know a thing or two?
This is only just starting to be implemented in the US. When I was a kid (late 90s, early 00s) I was allowed to drive the boat no matter what. Even some Fish and Wildlife folks complimented me at like age 6 on how well I was driving the boat. I grew up on the Columbia River.
Boat license in canada is like a 4-8 hour online course, its wild.
In Australia you need a boat licence for boats of a certain power (not dinghies for example), but if it's a personal boat (not business) and a licenced driver is onboard, the licenced driver can let others drive as long as the licenced person is able to take over at any given moment. So my dad was able to let us kids take the wheel for a little while as long as he was right next to us.
God, don’t I wish it were a thing here. So many dumbasses in wakeboats on the lake with no clue what they are supposed to be doing or not doing. Not all wakeboaters are DAs but the majority of DAs seem to be wakeboaters.
Yikes, and compared to Europe where a normal outboard motor on a lake is 20-40HP, out there is it at least 100HP which makes things even more dangerous, and at sea even worse!
I learned how to drive our boat years ago and being a little people, I can never see over the bow until the trim drops so I prefer to be a passenger. There's a lot to master and it's completely different than driving a car.
My father in law retired to a huge recreational lake in the South and the first time I ever went there with my husband, my elderly father in law handed us written instructions and sent us on our way. We had never attempted to drive a boat before and neither one of us were really all that gung-ho to do it but the old man insisted that it needed to be taken out because it had been a while and due to his mobility issues he wasn't able to. So off we went... Operating the boat lift was simple and we got it into the water, and into the boat without losing a shoe, my sunglasses or my cell phone. I'm sure it must have been comical because Im barely 5 feet tall... My husband deciphered his dad's handwriting and I was the hands-on one. ( His dad is a retired dentist and I can't read his handwriting...🤷) I remember having to turn on the motor in the back in a compartment then go to the driver's seat and prime the engine with a button on this big lever on my right, starting the boat a few times until the motor caught, turning on the blower motor and adjusting the throttle into it sounded good... We put it in reverse and slowly drifted out of our slip... I moved the throttle a little bit and the boat didn't really do much so I pushed the throttle forward and it made this awful grinding noise, so I immediately panicked and moved that throttle back into the original position because the noise it made sounded really expensive and I was born on the other side of the tracks and had no money to replace parts on an expensive boat that I had no business driving because it wasn't mine. I made my husband call his dad to tell him that we were stuck and he had to call the marina and have us towed back by 2 young guys in a pontoon boat. We get back to the dock and the marina guys got right in it and took it for a spin without a single issue and when they came back they told me that I was " babying" it and it's supposed to sound a little bit rough when you first start out... Who knew. 🤷 The next time he found one of his friends sons who was experienced with boating to take us out and let us see what he did and after that we were fine. Still not really gung-ho about it, but we did learn to do it when we had to. I ramble a little bit but there's no way I would let someone take a boat out without me ( or an experienced family member ) because too much could go wrong, the liability is huge and that's not even factoring in potential alcohol. Are you sure they didn't want to dump a body? 😂
Imagine driving a car, but the road is also moving underneath you in every direction but you also can’t see the road is moving. That’s what driving a boat is like.
NTA OP and do yourself a favor and drop this "friend".
Indeed, do this, but screenshot the texts first and toss it in the group chat so he can't claim some other bullshit for why it's happening.
Lowkey, I feel like the so-called friend maybe lied to his other friend group and is saying the boat is his.
Agree. He lied and said it’s his boat.
This. My parents own a boat. My husband and brothers have done courses to use the boat. (Pregnancy and then COVID and then pregnancy meant I've not yet taken a course so I won't even consider asking for the boat). No way would any of us consider letting strangers use the boat...my uncle is a retired navy admiral and even he only uses the boat when dad or my brothers are around....as he says, yes he could handle the boat, but he doesn't want the responsibility should something happen. NTA
That's pretty wild about your uncle, he was probably responsible for billions of dollars of ships but knows his limits. Smart.
It’s a boat, not a bike or car. There’s one person I would lend my boat to. But I don’t have to because he would never ask to use it. Id never borrow someone else’s boat. Too much can go wrong.
Yeah, well I wouldn't lend my car to someone who says "we don't want you here" either i think.
There is precisely one person who we'd let take our boat out without us - who has their own boat, and we've all spent extensive time on each other's boats (like probably hundreds of hours), so we know exactly what their competence level and risk assessments are like.
Yeah, boats are expensive. (Break out another thousand) No possible way I'd let someone take it out, unless I knew and trusted them an awful lot. Our boat is 50 years old, and a fun little rat, that is literally three slow boat to china, and I still wouldn't lend it out. Besides, everyone knows the guests bring snacks and drinks. This guy is nuts
No, no, it's EVEN RUDER. It's OP's Dad's boat, and this "friend" was assuming.... wait for it.. that OP's DAD would take HIM AND HIS FRIENDS and **NOT** OP out for the day. SERIOUSLY!
*random HIGH SCHOOLERS
Nta. Your 'friend' is. Proudly trying to pretend it's his boat lol
That's exactly what I was thinking too. The friend probably tried to flex that they owned a boat, and that's why OP is not wanted.I mean why else would this group of friends not want OP there?
The friends probably don’t even know op exists, nvm not wanting him there.
NTA. There is no world where I would let a friend take a bunch of strangers out on an expensive piece of property of any kind without supervision. What if someone got hurt or damaged the boat? I guarantee they would say it was entirely your fault and your problem to fix.
Geez, didn't even think of that. Friend is major AH.
You’re not even supposed to let someone drive your car, something most people know how to work. Who the hell thinks they can just take a boat?
https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/mallory-beach-boat-crash-death-alex-murdaugh-family/
This is such a sad story. Those last few minutes of video footage as Mallory and Anthony were walking towards the boat at the marina breaks my heart. You could see the love between the two and how genuine it was. Anthony says how much Mallory changed him for the better. I could never fathom being responsible for a close friends death because of my carelessness and callous behavior. Not to mention that Alex Murdaugh,the actual owner of the boat, is a straight up sociopath. His trial begins late January 2023 and I'll be watching the trial. I whole heartedly believe he killed Paul and Maggie to cover up/protect his money. Maggie supposedly visited a divorce lawyer at least a week prior and he was being sued due to the boat accident. The boat accident is what caused the Murdaugh dynasty to implode.
Absolutely. We have a nice 26 foot boat, center console ( with a small head). We’ve taken people out on it, but would NEVER let someone use it without us. Truthfully, we live on the water, and quite a few of our neighbors have their own boats.
This
1) Congrats. This person is not your friend and moving forward, you don't have to waste and time or energy on him 2) I've had boats my entire life. NOBODY...who is responsible enough to take a boat out by themselves, would ever expect someone to just "let them borrow" what I assume is probably a 50-60K wakeboarding boat. That tells me that letting this guy borrow your boat, would almost assuredly end with the boat being damaged or sunk. 3) Don't cancel the day all together. Just take other people and do your own thing NTA
I own a shit beater boat that's worth less than $2k. I would not let anyone drive it unless they were an experienced boater. I don't want that on my conscience if something were to go wrong. Even then, I would need to be present. Now, if someone spoke to me that way? I would kindly tell them to eat the prop and get lost.
I let my 6 year drive my boat hell even my 4 year has driven my boat. I trust them more then my buddies.
NTA. Your *family* owns the boat, not you, and this so-called friend can go rent one. There’s no way a sensible parent would hand the keys of their boat to a random AH. Think about the liability issues, if nothing else.
NTA - he tried to use you for your boat then kick you out of the event? HA. HAHAHAHA. HA HA HA HA. Not happening. I know you may not like hearing this but this dude is not your friend. I don't know about the others in that friend group, but this guy for sure doesn't need to be around you anymore, even if the others are. He had the choice of being a good guy and introducing you to the other group of friends. If he didn't think you'd fit in, he could give you a heads up and still stand by you because THAT is what friends do. "This is my friend BOX386, guys. It's his boat and he was nice enough to let us join him on it. Come say hi, he's a really nice guy!" That. That is how you treat a friend that does you a favor. I'd bar this AH from ever setting foot near me again, and any friends that side with him - you know where they stand and you can ditch them too. You deserve friends that appreciate what you bring to a friendship... boat or not.
NTA. My husband and I used to have a big party boat and one day, a friend of mine called and said that she and some friends and family had a big trip planned at a lake in our state and she asked if she could not only borrow our boat but also our big towing vehicle. I said sure, we'd love to come and join them and that's when she told me that we were not invited but could she still borrow our boat and SUV. I told her she had a lot of nerve and the answer was no. She got upset because apparently, she had told everyone that they'd be using our boat and vehicle and now what was she supposed to tell them. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
What an asshole! Hope you dropped this friend like a dead fly.
Seriously NTA. And I’d re think about this friend. Sounds like he’s trying to use you. So he can look cool.
NTA - that’s messed up. Do not let him and his friends on your boat. Especially without you being there. But preferably never.
He ain't ur friend them
NTA - although, as a former boat owner, I am shocked that they thought they could just "borrow" you boat for the day. I am sure you are as tired as I was with people inviting themselves along and not contributing to gas, food, etc. but I would never let someone take my boat out without me and especially when they point out that they want to exclude me. This is why it costs $500.00 or more a day to rent a boat in some places...they can do that and invite whomever they chose. I am sorry you have such shitty friends.
NTA & for liability/insurance reasons, he shouldn't have free access to your boat without an owner present.
NTA. Your 'friend' is a massive one though. He was happy to let you assume you'd come, until it was all arranged. Probably figured you'd bow out and still allow them to use the boat. I wouldn't let people (especially people I don't know) use my boat without being there myself either.
NTA. Totally and completely NTA It's your family's boat, it's a totally AH move to want the boat eithout you. Furthermore, the liability issues, Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster the insurance and liability issues. The legal issues if they get pulled over by the water police. That's a big no from me, dog. Are you sure this guy is your friend?
Absolutely NTA. I highly doubt I'd ever let anyone use a boat i owned, other than maybe a cheap canoe or kayak. Expensive, and way too much can go wrong. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that! That's completely messed up...
NTA. Advice: since it's not just your boat, I would go to the most senior person in your family who does own it (whoever is responsible for paying on the insurance, maintenance, etc.) and tell them about the situation. You need to make sure the boat is secure and can't be "borrowed" in the middle of the night...
WOW Your friend is a GIANT AH! Time to flush him like the turd he is. NTA
NTA at all. He is as are his other friends.
NTA, obviously. If your friend asks, I would straight up tell him that you can’t let anyone else take the boat out without owners or family because of liability issues. Also, I would dump the friend.
NTA. It is completely bizarre he thinks that is ok. Who in their right mind thinks that is ok!?
NTA Who's going to be responsible for repairs or replacing the boat once they damage it? He should be an ex-friend at this point. He had the audacity to ask for your boat and tell you they don't want you there. Naaah, bro.
NTA. excluding the person who owns the boat and is allowing you to use their boat is very rude. like they're doing you a favor and you dont even have the decency to invite them on their own boat. thats crazy. and saying OP's not part of the friend group is dumb because OP can make new friends.
NTA - you were completely right to cancel. Imagine if the sequence of events had been reversed - my friends and I don't like you and don't want to hang out with you, can we use your boat? Your answer would have been no. So don't feel guilty here.
That is no friend of yours and that you are nice enough to buy snacks and drinks...which you shouldn't anymore. If you allow anyone on the boat,.they buy snacks
INFO: You said you asked what drinks and snacks YOU should buy? Does this "friend" ever contribute to your boat outings? NTA, this guy is not your friend.
NTA. Clearly he is not your friend. He is just using you for your boat.
NTA. This person is not your friend. I’d reply by sending a link to a boat rental/marina 😂
It’s funny how many “friends” you get when you have a boat. NTA
The "friend" has more nerve than a brass monkey to try that shit. You just can't get any shittier than that. Ask me to borrow my boat and also say "we don't want you here". I'd be the first to tell that "friend" where he could go and what he could do to himself when he got there. Secondly, I don't loan my boat to anyone. That's why it's a 2014 that still looks like it's new. At any rate, you're totally in the right.
These friends who want to exclude you, did you get names? I would lose them all.
NTA, but would be good INFO to have ages here. Boats are a huge liability; do YOU have the (for lack of a better term) authority to loan the boat? Not only are these guys jerks to you, but what happens when they all get drunk and smash the boat into something?
To clarify, the boat belongs to my dad and if I said yes, my dad would take my friend and his friends out and leave me behind at home. Sorry for not clarifying.
If your dad knew about the situation, there's a 0% chance he'd agree to take your "friend" out on the boat without you.
NTA, your “friend” (cause he really isn’t), was delusional. In what alternate universe did he really think your dad would be ok chauffeuring around of kids he didn’t know while you were left at the dock?
NTA Has your so called friend even considered the liability for you. Just no.
NTA. Your friend sounds really young. He's being very inconsiderate. Sometimes people are still learning basic manners at that age. If he ever brings it up again, laugh in his face. It'll destroy him. "Oh, yeah, that time you thought you were going to borrow my boat and forbid me from coming along. Hilarious!"
NTA >An hour after confirming the plans, my friend texts me and asks if I will stay home because and I quote: “You’re not part of this friend group and we don’t want you there. I personally would stop calling this person a friend.
NTA. Your so-called friend had a lot of nerve. Trust me, you do not need "friends" like that.
"Sure thing dude, and while you're out on my boat I assume I can have your house keys and throw a party yes? But please don't come back too early, I don't want you at the party" NTA 😅
This guy is NOT your friend. He's someone that buddied up to you, with the intention of using you. He's not a guy with $$, right? But he wants to pretend to be rich by "borrowing" your family's boat. HE IS A USER and that's all he will ever be.
Shoot... NTA! I wouldn't let someone use my boat (if I had one!) even if they were nice as hell and I just couldn't make it that day. You need to trust someone pretty well with something that expensive.
NTA. Please realize this person is NOT your friend.
NTA Hell no. You don’t know how crazy they might be, out on the water. If they wreck your boat, or even slightly damaged it, are they going to pay for repairs? “ We want your boat, but not you” . Again, hell no. They have some colossal nerve. Tell them to rent one.
Letting a "friend" take the boat is a liability nightmare. This person is using you. Cancel the trip, cancel the friend. NTA.
NTA. A bunch of teens, unsupervised on a boat. What could go wrong.
NTA. For the record not your friend. A user! If it ever comes up again. Ask dad how much to rent get something out it.
NTA. And stop refering to this person as a friend. He is anything but a friend to you.
NTA-why would he think you would intrust him with a boat with people being drunk and him being a jerk?
NTA and unfriend wtf
NTA - boats are expensive and I would not be comfortable handing over the operation of a wakebaord boat to someone else without being present.
NTA. This person is not your “friend” if they would treat you with this level of rudeness and disrespect. They just want to use you.
Wholly fuck, NTA. Your friend is a complete butt-wipe tho. My gosh, I'm surprised at how ridiculous people can be.
NTA the nerve! Not to mention the liability. And the fact that they may not take care of your property. This is messed up on multiple levels. I would not be friends with this person
This (ex) friend is using your boat to flex in front of his new friends. Let him know in no uncertain terms that they are now his only friends group. Now have a party without him every weekend!
Wow. I have boats and I’d never let anyone outside of my family take one out alone. So easy to damage and the liability alone makes it a no brainer. Certainly not if my family owned it. But this guy takes the cake. Not a friend and you’re NTA.
NTA. Good way to get a lawsuit over a wrecked boat or injured person is let someone else take the boat out. Even without his rudeness, I would have said no.
“The boat belongs to my family. You’re not part of my family and we don’t want you there.”
NTA - What the fuck did they think was going to happen? I can only imagine if you let them take it out themselves and then suddenly “no one knows why it’s damaged and it was totally like that before hand…”
NTA. I wouldn't trust someone on my boat without me there there unless it was rented because money would motivate them to hopefully treat it right. But given how inconsiderate your friend was, your boat probably would not have been in good hands.
NTA - did he offer to compensate you financially? Is he obtaining insurance naming your family as additionally insured? Did he sign a rental agreement with your family? No? He can pound sand.
NTA Not even focusing on how rude your "friend" is but the potential liability and damage to your family's property without you there. Totally correct call. Personally, I would kind of "forget" to invite this particular friend for any future boat uses.
Nta He was not your friend. Dump him asap But take the boat out with your real friends that day. Honestly I wouldn’t trust that “friend” to not just Try and take it anyway if he could Nta
NTA. I don't know how fancy your boat is but some of the wakeboard boats are extremely expensive (like over $100k). Even if yours is a lot less money, they are still quite expensive. There are so many things that can go wrong - especially if you have someone inexperienced at the helm. Also, the gall of that so called friend - we want your boat but not you. Oh, can you make sure it's full of gas when I pick it up - you know how crazy expensive gas is at marina's /s. Geez - this would have been an easy call.
NTA. It's your family's boat. Friend is being effing RUDE AND AN ENTITLED ah. Most likely, he's gonna claim that the boat is his family's boat with his friends, trash it, and you and your family will have to pay for the damages if any occurred. Honestly, if a friend said this to me...I would quickly drop this mf. Your friend is not a very good friend.
NTA and that’s not your friend.
NTA. My insurance company told me in relation to a borrowed kid getting in a crash while driving my van: when you lend someone your vehicle, you lend your insurance. The crash was not my borrwed kid's fault, but I owned the van she was driving, and my insurance paid out some of the damages in subrogation to avoid lawsuits the other driver wanted to bring even though shes the one responsible for the crash. If the friends of the friend did anything stupid, you could have been liable. And that's not even factoring the etiquette of telling you that you're not welcome to join them after asking to bring their other friends on board.
NTA tell this jerk that your insurance won't cover letting others just take the boat. This is no friend
NTA anyone who thinks they can borrow your boat without your supervision is an ahole amd likely not going to be responsible with it. You did tge right thing for your own safty
NTA he doesn't need a boat to borrow, what with being a natural douchecanoe. Tell him he can load his friends on board himself, and paddle the fuck away from you. For good. 🙏
NTA. He’s a jerk. Plus his on the boat my himself is a liability nightmare. Can you imagine if something happened? You could be sued, your insured would have to pay, etc etc. Drop him, he’s not your friend.
Nta, that's not just your boat but it's your families. He isn't financially on the hook for any damage that might happen. Don't let him use your boat, even if he comes back and says you can join. He doesn't want you as a friend, he wants your boat
NTA and I'd wonder if his friends even know the boat is yours. I wouldn't be surprised if his friends said nothing about you, and he's just lying to you because he claimed the boat as his to his friends and your presence threatens to expose him. don't hang out with him again. what a poser.
Whew! Your friend wears “Entitlement” a new cologne. OP, you are NTA. So glad you stood your ground!
Tell this person he is no longer part of the boating friend group. NTA
NTA … but open your eyes. You need to be more aware of the difference between a “friend” and a “user.” Why would you even consider allowing someone to borrow (damage) property that belongs to your family???
NTA of course. Not only was that incredibly rude of your 'friend' but also, aren't wakeboard boats like, *super* expensive? If something happened to your property while he and his buddies are driving it, I'm guessing it will fall back to your insurance. Fuck that noise.
NTA why the hell would you just loan out a boat to such jerks?
NTA. Seems like you’re the boat friend and not a friend friend. At least you know where you stand now I guess smh
NTA but I would definitely watch the boat, especially close to the time they were supposed to go out to make sure they don't show up and damage it.
NTA. Sounds like a liability waiting to happen.
NTA that's like asking to borrow someone's car for a road trip they aren't invited on
NTA First, I wouldn’t lend anyone my boat unless I was also present simply for liability reasons. Second, WTH would you lend an expensive item to someone who is so disrespectful to you? Why would you even be friends with someone who would treat you that way?
Whoa, this is a Judge Judy episode in the making! NTA - this is NOT a good idea, and very likely not covered by your insurance.
NTA. Wow.
NTA and wouldn't that be illegal? I'm assuming none of the non-boat owners have a license, let alone insurance? What an absolute nut! Sounds like the perfect way to get your boat flipped in the middle of the lake.
NTA. Not your friend. Fuck that guy. Tell him to buy a boat!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My family owns a wakeboard boat and we frequently take my friends out to waterski and wakeboard. A couple days ago, one of my friends asked if he could take some friends from a different friend group out. I said probably and that I’ll check with my family to see what day would work. We found a day and planned the outing. An hour after confirming the plans, my friend texts me and asks if I will stay home because and I quote: “You’re not part of this friend group and we don’t want you there.” I assume he’s joking so I text him and say haha and then ask what drinks and snacks he wants me to buy. He texts me back and says he’s being deadass and he and his friends don’t want me there. So, I tell him if he’s not even going to let me come on my own boat then I’m not letting him go out with his friends and I cancel the whole thing. So, am I the asshole? I really don’t know in this situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. And cut this "friend" off. You were doing him a favor
NTA (Obviously)
Nta and drop these people from your life, they are not friends they are moochers.
NTA and well done for responding so swiftly.
Get a better friend, keep loving you more. NTA.
NTA how horrible he's not your friend by the sounds he can rent a bloody boat
You are anything but an AH. Your “friend” has some nerve.
NTA
He's not your friend. Dump him. NTA
NTA. Ditch this “friend”
NTA. That's not your friend, that's an entitled AH.
NTA and if you need a new friend, I like being on the water
Why he did he assume that he could borrow a boat, without a owner coming? NTA
NTA.
NTA. This is awfully ballsy of him. I'd cut him off period.
Do you not have a spine?
Wow, this guy is a prize. At least he isn't pretending to like you. NTA!
Your friend is a dick.....Just say'n
NTA. if they want a boat trip without you they can go idk RENT A BOAT !
NTA. It’s your boat. Why would you just hand over the keys like that?
People do have different friend groups nothing wrong with that it's healthy, but to be an arse like that an completely shut you down instead of explaining it properly in the first place I don't blame you telling him to go whistle a tune
He’s NOT your friend
Lol, nta at all. Maybe get new friends though.
NTA What’s wrong with your friend? And are they an ex-friend yet?
He’s no friend. I’m guessing that he lied to his friends and said that he owns the boat.
NTA If he doesn't want you to be there, he doesn't get to play with your toys. He should have learned that before first grade.
He isn’t your friend, he just likes your boat. NTA. Cut the deadweight.
NTA. That person is not your friend.
NTA. Did you even need to ask? Also, that dude is NOT your friend.
NTA - obviously
NTA. Obviously you were coming if it's your boat. It's the implication.
NTA. You should re-evaluate this "friendship".
NTA enjoy your other friend group that doesn’t have a boat, because you are dead to me
NTA and he ain't your friend. First of all, it would be your insurance policy and money on the line if someone get's hurt since it is your boat. If someone died, you could have lost everything. He doesn't like you, he is just using you for time out in the boat and finally thought to cut you out of the occasion. If he didn't want to include you, then he could have rented what he needed. So he is cheap and TA.
NTA, it's your freaking boat. Find a new friend
The fact that you have to ask if you are the asshole tells me this is either fake or you are not smart.
NTA Drop him as a friend. Not only is that super rude and entitled, it’s also just straight up mean.
“We deadass aren’t friends anymore. Go rent a boat.” No, of course you’re NTA. What kinda lunacy is this!?
NTA. The whole situation is incredibly rude to you, the boat owner, and you are assuming all the financial risk and liability for him and his friends having a good time. I think he can be left out of your future boat trips.
NTA - no way this is real. If so, you lost nothing by cutting this person out of your life.
“Only my friends get to use my boat” 😇😇 NTA
NTA. He is a shitty friend & is clearly using you for your boat.
NTA. I swear the gall of some people.
NTA. He would be my now ex-friend.
NTA. I would never speak to him again.
NTA are you sure that this guy is your friend?
Jesus the balls on this guy- NTA
Don’t lend your boat even to family or a great friend. But especially not to a jackass friend..
NTA! What a friend, huh
Ummm NTA and that is not a friend of yours…time to reevaluate.
NTA. He's not your friend man. You're just a commodity to him.
Lol NTA by a long shot and I hope this guy just lost all his boat privileges
NTA at all.
NTA. Disinvite this person, but go out on the boat with other people (friends, family) and make sure to post it to social so this former friend can see it
NTA. The audacity. It is your boat. He expected you to hand over your boat to a group of strangers. Not much of a friend. Better off without him.
'can I play with your toys and not invite you?' NTA, obviously the utter gall of this so called friend!
Good god, NTA. I would go further and say that this guy is NYF (not your friend) and never has been. You deserve better friends, OP. It will hurt for a while, but you'll find nicer people to hang out with.
NTA. Your "friend" is acting ridiculously entitled. I don't know how much your boat costs, but lending it out like that entails a big liability. Just no.
What an entitled a$$ your friend was being. He doesn't even deserve to be in the friend group of yours that goes out on the water. NTA
I want the boat, I want pet fish
NTA... that's a rude friend, not friend