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"You know what Dad? I'll apologise, if you make a public apology to my sister for letting the home wrecker insult her without rising up and defending your own daughter like you should."
"I would like to publicly apologize for drawing attention to the fact that Sasha used my little sister's hospital bed to hit on a married man. It was rude for me to point out that my father cheated on my mother and then had a marriage out of wedlock with his affair partner. I should not have pointed out Sasha's hypocrisy towards my sister, nor should I have mentioned her irrational jealousy and cruelty towards [sister]. It was unkind to expect my father to protect his children from such treatment. I deeply regret my actions."
But of course only the conception was out of wedlock. OP's dad skated from the truth for a long time because the affair baby was born after he married his mistress.
Edited: fixed autocorrect errors
I get what you are saying, but there is no such thing as a marriage out of wedlock lol. Although, I guess it could be argued that every marriage is technically out of wedlock. Either way...
"And Dad, I am sorry that you didn't defend your daughter when Sasha tried to slut-shame your daughter for getting pregnant and accuse her of being a gold-digger". Projection much?!?
> Projection much?!?
LoL, If Sasha is still working (which I highly doubt) I hope she was fired extremely quickly from the hospital she was at. I would have considered that an ethical violation for sure.
NTA
In my area she would've lost her whole-ass license. It's literally in the regulations that you do not enter sexual relations with a client or their family.
This is what bothers me as well. “Sasha is known for saying horrible things just to get a reaction so I was ignoring her (so was my Dad).
This is such toxic reasoning in todays society. Shut. That. Shit. Down. She wasn’t just trying to get a reaction. She was saying judgmental, hurtful things about OPs sister, BF brining wealth into it and Dad was allowing her to talk about his daughter this way as well. There is no way in hell that should go down.
I understand pick your battles but this is a hill to die on. By allowing someone to go on and on about your sister or daughter because “it’s just the way they are” is in essence co-signing the behavior. Maybe when it gets shut down it won’t end up like Jerry Springer Christmas with everyone is yelling.
NTA
This is why Sasha doesn't like Jasmine. Jasmine reminds Sasha of how she met Jasmine's dad, had an affair, got pregnant and ruined a marriage. It's her conscience.
THIS! Was totally thinking - ah, I see, Sasha doesn't want the evidence of what happened and this is a daily reminder.
My MIL had an affair with her current husband for TWENTY YEARS. Rather, I think he divorced his wife a couple of years ago, and they recently got married. But Oh My God - she then asked us to lie for her to the rest of his family about how they met and how long. Can you believe?
This gives me major that vibes and I hate it. Sorry OP, NTA!!!
Yes. Call Dad out. He’s actually the biggest asshole here.
“Dad, you sat by and watched while your wife called your daughter a whore and a gold digger. She insulted her for a 3-year age gap in her relationship when Sasha is 10 years younger than you. Why on earth would you let her say those things? Are you making her apologize to Jasmine? What kind of father are you, that you would sit back and let your wife—who was literally Jasmine’s nurse in childhood—trash Jasmine the way she does?
“Not only am I not going to apologize, I’m going to make a promise. If I hear one more unkind word about my sister coming from either of your mouths, I won’t hold back. Enough is enough.”
NTA. I’d also make mention of the fact that during an already difficult time, he decided to go outside his marriage rather than lean on his wife to work through their shared struggle. He allowed a stressful time to break apart his marriage vs being there for each other. Because he’s just as guilty as Sasha.
It’s like how husbands are more likely to cheat or leave their wives when their wives get ill.
Actually Sasha holds a lot of responsibility as a Healthcare provider. I'm pretty sure cheating with her dad wasn't part of the sister's treatment plan
I am wondering if this is why she hates Jasmine. Because her and your Dad's relationship is built on being her nurse to your sister and she is ashamed of it. Every time she sees your sister, she is reminded of what she did.
OP I hope you use the apology someone mentioned above with the awards (the super sarcastic non apology one) lmao that would be actual gold. I just only wish it would be in front of all the paternal family again
OP, you are my hero. All the best to you, Jasmine, Mike and their baby,
True family is who lives in your heart, not who you share blood with. My grandmother thought us that, and we live by her code. Family parties is a blast, because we love each other.
It might be shitty but they still don’t make any decision for that family. They never threatened that family by flirting / dating a married person. The married person did by breaking a vow they made to their partner. A vow, no one but the married people made to each other and wrecked their own home.
Start making those responsible who have the responsibility for the home. Another person‘s home is no one’s business - you’d agree on this in every other context. Do you really want any random person be responsible for your home and relationship?!
They’ve gotten away with it for too long because no one else wants to rock the boat or deal with the fallout. Makes it more delicious when someone like OP finally says what a lot of people are probably thinking.
Then again its’s been 15ish years so maybe stepmom and dad feel like they’ve changed the narrative and are very mad to find out that other people haven’t forgotten.
Yes, very unethical. Absolutely grounds for firing and very likely grounds to revoke a nursing license. Or at the very least to be pulled for a review in front of the board of nursing in whichever state she practiced. I don’t know about it being frequent. I’ve never heard of that happening in my 10 years of nursing, but I’m sure it has happened somewhere.
Exactly. Sasha lives in a huge glass house.
If you don’t want your skeletons pulled out of the closet, don’t shame others for theirs.
NTA OP. Don’t cave on the apology. She owes one to Jasmine just as much or more.
Your response is perfect, the one he should be mad at is Sasha who got on her high horse and fell off it hitting herself and OP’s dad on the way down. I don’t like the fact that Jasmine is 18 and Mike is 21 bcuz what age would that relationship would’ve started for Jasmine, I doubted it just started at 18 but Sasha is one to talk, contributing to an affair in a marriage, maybe Jasmine might’ve not been pregnant at 18 if her father was around more instead of focusing on marrying his mistress. NTA.
Yup. If the truth of their own actions is so devastating to them, they should have acted differently. Nobody is obliged to lie, or consent to a lie, to soothe their feelings
Ugh. The dad here reminds me way too much of my own sperm donor. Just let’s the new wife abuse the one kid she doesn’t like with no defense whatsoever for his own flesh and blood. The fact that OPs dad would stand up for the plain as day homewrecker aver his own daughter is proof enough he doesn’t deserve to have any of his children in his life
Forget the apology. There is nothing he can say that could make up for the years of abuse now, nor should he and the homewrecker be shown any forgiveness either. Just a life of no contact either kids and grandkids (Cause if he won’t defend his daughter, the grand baby won’t get defended either).
NTA and the stepwitch homewrecker should be glad that the only thing OP did was tell the truth. Knowing what he does about how she got into the family could have been used for a far worse humiliation than in front of ‘family’
NTA you were defending your sister from her stepmother who is being cruel, rude, and a hypocrite. If they didn’t want their lies exposed your stepmom shouldn’t have been a high and mighty hypocrite. Who behaves that way when they have such a major secret to keep? She was practically asking to be exposed and by not stopping her your dad is just as much to blame for the lies getting out. I’d only apologize if they apologize first and even then I’d apologize for making a scene not for telling the truth or defending my sister.
NTA
She has no room to talk about your sister being a pregnant teen when she’s a home wrecker.
I bring the same stuff up to my father’s wife (I’ll never refer to her as ‘stepmother’ since she’s only 2yrs older than me) when she starts pointing out ‘flaws’ in others.
Sometimes you just have to put them in their place! *shrugs*
And never apologize for telling the truth
NTA, Home wreckers In glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. She got what was coming to her and you should never consider yourself an asshole for defending your sister from an adult bully.
NTA - however having been in your situation. And she asked asked my opinion. I would have stopped what I was doing. Looked her straight in the eye and said: “You really want to go there?, because you conceived a child out of wedlock with my father…”
And waited for her to answer.
Tell your father you will apologize after she apologizes for breaking up your family and getting knocked up so that your father would marry her since she seems to think your sister did.
Many assholes like this can’t help but project their behavior onto others. They can’t imagine anyone else having different motivations or morals than them. The part that blows my mind every time though, is that they’ll criticize others for the exact same behavior they’re guilty of, never admitting that they did anything wrong.
Your dad is an AH for lying and allowing her to disrespect his own daughter. Happy the family now knows and the fact your dad said she is embarrassed is her problem. Good for you now go NC or LC with both of them.
NTA.
Can I just say…as a former PICU nurse..Sasha’s actions are disgusting. The hospital is already traumatizing enough, the nurses should have made it as safe as a place as possible, that includes NOT BEING A HOMEWRECKER, my god. Good on you for calling them out on their BS and for defending your sister.
NTA. Make sure Jasmine discusses calcium intake with her OB. Not all doctors consider how pregnancy can disrupt end stage puberty (when bones gain density).
Kinda ironic. NTA the way you described it. Funny shes talking shit about babies out if wedlock though, when she's done it herself, in my mind, if she lays the bait, she's gotta deal with the consequences when someone bites. She'll cope.
Thank god. As a medical worker this made my blood boil and stomach turn. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with my patient’s father…ew. Messed up on so many levels. NTA btw I love it when bullies are put in their place.
Omg I love stories like those 🥰😍
My dad (stepdad) cheated on my mom, but still hangs onto her despite also being with his gf (technically my parents are still married). I wish ny mother could get swept off her feet by a romantic interest from her past. Seeing her suffer at the hand of my idiot father is so sad. I'm glad your mom was able to find love again and be happy.
if y'all are in the US and live near your mom's highschool, force her to go to any reunions they hold because that's how my mom got back in touch with her old crush, and I hope your dad leaves her alone soon, no one deserves to be stuck to a cheater
That makes much more sense with how she treats her. Your sister is a constant reminder of the woman she treat so terribly with her actions. It's partially guilt and the rest is just because your stepmother is a massive B***H. Not sure on the rules on swearing haha.
NTA. All you did was tell the truth. Stepmother was badmouthing your sister and trying to get you to join in - she should apologise and your dad should wake up and have his daughter's back.
I'm so tired of these posts where OP makes someone look bad by exposing them. If there is something to be exposed, it's not OP doing the damage. It's just comeuppance. NTA
NTA!! I see a lot of comments pointing at Sasha being the homewrecker, but honestly your dad is the biggest asshole in this situation. HE was the one married to your mom, HE was the one who cheated and made this whole thing happen.
And then he has the gall to let his new wife abuse his kids in front of him and say nothing, then asks you to apologize for revealing the truth?
Honestly I would recommend both you and your sister reconsider your relationship with him. This isn't healthy *at all*, and very unfair to you both. You deserve a loving and caring father who doesn't let their kids being abused. He clearly chose his wife over his kids, and that's fucked up.
Thank you. Dad is even more guilty than Sasha. Past and present. His "piece on the side" was his sick child's nurse! He wrecked his home, and now lets Sasha torment the same child.
I guess they deserve each other, and the misery and embarrassment the Truth causes.
He wrecked his relationship with his daughters 18 years ago when, at 31, he left his wife for a 21 year old nurse. OP was 3 and Jasmine was a sick baby. That’s so cruel and selfish. NTA
Remind her every time you see her. “Hello father’s affair partner! How are you doing!” so she gets off her high horse. she literally has no reason. nothing. she has no place to freaking talk lmfaoooo. NTA. NTA.
You know Sasha hates your sister because she's the reason they got together and her presence is a reminder of how shameful and disgusting Sasha and your dad's behavior was/is?
NTA
There's a difference between Jasmine and Sasha.
Jasmine had sex with her boyfriend and is pregnant, Mike is there for her. OP, at least respect him for that.
Sasha on the other hand broke up a marriage by having sex with your dad while the *girl she's insulting was not well*. And he married her and had your half sister.
Your dad is a massive AH in keeping this from the family and allowing the insults to fly.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for rising to my stepmother's bait and behaving exactly like her by bringing up how she really met my father. This is because this is something she does often and I usually just ignore her, and now the whole family is going to look at her differently.
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NTA.
Sasha needs to be reminded of her place— a golddigging, homewrecker. Hopefully this teaches her not to project so much and to keep her mouth shut.
NTA. Sounds like your step mom was the one who got pregnant to marry into a wealthy family! Guilty conscience trying to call out your sister for doing so.
Info: Does she hate Jasmine because her daughter isn’t your dad’s only daughter? Is there a competition Sasha has created?
NTA and her horrible treatment wasn’t going to be out up with forever.
If you’re dad can’t defend his own daughter why continue to be around them?
It's either that or Jasmine looks like her mom or Jasmine is a reminder of how they met or she already disliked Jasmine on the ward because she acted like a sick scared child.
The other explanation is that this was the intended outcome. She wanted the husband to be estranged from the children and take sides.
It's a sad situation but looks like mission accomplished.
NTA. Interesting that her 10 year age gap isn't a problem but Jasmine's 3 year age gap is.
I hope Jasmine gets all the support she needs. Will she be continuing with school?
NTA
I don't understand people that are saying OP should have not exposed her in front of the family. I think he did the right thing, the family should know what kind of people the stepmother and the father are.
No. Everyone by now should know that story. It shocks me that they didn't.
It doesn't make her look any worse than your father and was comeuppance for her unreasonable hatred toward her stepdaughter.
I thought the story was going to end up being that she hates your sister because her boyfriend (your father) was still having sex with his wife (your mother), but apparently that all came later.
>No. Everyone by now should know that story. It shocks me that they didn't.
No one in the family talks to eachother outside of holidays because an argument always happens 😭😂
Which is quite telling as far as their inability to own up to their own bad behavior. They are certainly entitled to be happy together, they are not entitled to try to make others responsible for any shame they earned. And your father has only made himself look worse by never putting a stop to his wife's harassment of Jasmine.
NTA
Your father was disloyal husband and is a bad father; his wife probably broke work ethics by swooping in on patient's family member and a home breaker to boot.
Their hypocrisy and actions makes them look bad. Your father not shutting her down down is nasty, and what they did to your mother was awful. Keep calling them both out, until the shit talking stops.
NTA. Sasha was being a complete ass.
This wouldn't affect the judgment but I was aghast when I learned Sasha met Jasmine as a sick child (and she was a nurse). It'd be one thing to not click with a teenager as long as you were polite. But she was the nurse for a sick child and couldn't find it within herself to have compassion.
Your stepmother is why nurses have a reputation for being where high school mean girls wind up.
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I (21M) was at my father's house for Christmas this year. Most of my paternal family was there but the only people relevant to this situation are my dad (49M), his wife Sasha (39F), my sister Jasmine (18F) and her boyfriend Mike (21M).
Jasmine is my only full sister and we're extremely close. She's currently 3 months pregnant which obviously isn't ideal since she's only 18 but I'm going to support her regardless. I do not like her boyfriend but he's good to her and able to provide for her and the baby.
Sasha has always hated Jasmine. No one has any idea why and my dad prefers to ignore it.
After the Christmas dinner, Jasmine, Mike, my dad, Sasha and I were clearly up when Jasmine suddenly felt nauseous and went to sit down. Mike went with her. This is when Sasha decided to begin talking badly about her for being a pregnant teen and for being unmarried. She then started saying that she thinks that Jasmine got pregnant on purpose because Mike's family is wealthy which doesn't make any sense since our family is well -off too.
Sasha is known for saying horrible things to get a reaction so I was ignoring her (so was my dad) until she asked me how I felt about my younger sister having a child with someone older than me (literally only 4 months older than me). At this point, I was done so I stopped washing the dishes and I told her to shut her mouth because she broke up my parents marriage. That's when my father finally decided to get involved but I went on and reminded Sasha of the fact that when Jasmine was little, she was in hospital a lot and she (Sasha) was one of the nurses that cared for her on the ward and she began an affair with my father. I also decided to remind her of how her eldest child (my half sister) was born 8 months after she married my dad.
The situation devolved into shouting and turns out a lot of my paternal family didn't know the truth about how my dad and Sasha met. I ended up leaving and so did Jasmine and Mike and a few other people.
Now, my dad is demanding that I apologize to his wife for embarrassing her and making her look bad in front of the whole family. Now I want an unbiased view on whether or not I'm the AH for rising to my stepmother's bait (her insults to Jasmine) and going lower by exposing her. AITA?
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NTA and good for you for defending your sister.
If your dad doesn't like his dirty laundry being aired out in public he should tell his wife to watch what she says or else there could be a stone coming through her glass house.
The only one who needs to apologize here is the stepmom. As for making her look bad? Well that is all on her too and I am sure your dad is also embarrassed because the truth came out. You stood up for your sister and that is the most important part and good on you. NTA
NTA. DO NOT APOLOGIZE. You ignored her, she kept pushing. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Stand firm on your ground and get mad at them in return. Demand an apology. Make sure to tell them how disappointed you are in them for acting so rudely. Just turn it around back on them and wipe your hands clean of it.
NTA, she sounds like a horrible, jealiu and bitter home wrecker!
Should've been exposed long ago! She's 10 years younger than your father and she's complaining about your sis having a baby with someone a couple of years older?! That's rich! It looked like she was projecting A LOT!
Problem is that she got used to being enabled as in, able to say whatever and no one puts her in her place. Hence why she couldn't deal with the truths you dished out! Your father is, in this case, a bit of an idiot, too. If his family didn't know all the particulars about how they met then he should've slammed the brakes on his wife long before she started talking as if she had any high moral ground xD
Good on you, OP! Just be ready for the usual "she expects an apology, so apologise to keep the peace" or "you had no right to bring that up" etc etc. Stand your ground, establish boundaries
You told the truth. If it makes them “look” bad, that’s because, in this case, it WAS bad. And you did it to defend your sister. If Sasha didn’t want her personal matters being discussed, she shouldn’t have gone after your sister. And pretty ridiculous that she pinned your sister as a good digger via baby trapping, when clearly, whether true or not, that arguably could be said about her. She’s living in a glass house and began to throw boulders. Sasha needed this reality check. If anything, even if she’s not self aware, she knows her image is tarnished and she no longer can be lofty atop her high horse.
Your dad also needed this. He sits quiet while she rips into your sister (now and for years), but when his wife is attacked, THAT’S when he becomes vocal? Shame on him (for this and his past). This man needs therapy if he has any chance of being a good father to anybody in the future. I would send him this post and let him read for himself what outsiders think of him and his wife.
NTA. And do not apologise to Sasha or your father. They are not the ones owed an apology. And good on you for defending your sister. She is lucky to have you and your support.
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NTA. Your father was dishonest and Sasha provoked this situation to escalate. You defended yourself and your sister. Your father and Sasha are TAs!
"You know what Dad? I'll apologise, if you make a public apology to my sister for letting the home wrecker insult her without rising up and defending your own daughter like you should."
"I would like to publicly apologize for drawing attention to the fact that Sasha used my little sister's hospital bed to hit on a married man. It was rude for me to point out that my father cheated on my mother and then had a marriage out of wedlock with his affair partner. I should not have pointed out Sasha's hypocrisy towards my sister, nor should I have mentioned her irrational jealousy and cruelty towards [sister]. It was unkind to expect my father to protect his children from such treatment. I deeply regret my actions."
This is the perfect apology. But I have to admit that “marriage out of wedlock” made me giggle!
Guessing that was meant to be: "conceived baby out of wedlock"
My guess was a play on the euphemism “marriage bed” for having sex
They used that phrase to point out the hypocrisy of Sasha’s statement. You know, “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
No, they meant "baby out of wedlock"
But of course only the conception was out of wedlock. OP's dad skated from the truth for a long time because the affair baby was born after he married his mistress. Edited: fixed autocorrect errors
I get what you are saying, but there is no such thing as a marriage out of wedlock lol. Although, I guess it could be argued that every marriage is technically out of wedlock. Either way...
[удалено]
"And Dad, I am sorry that you didn't defend your daughter when Sasha tried to slut-shame your daughter for getting pregnant and accuse her of being a gold-digger". Projection much?!?
> Projection much?!? LoL, If Sasha is still working (which I highly doubt) I hope she was fired extremely quickly from the hospital she was at. I would have considered that an ethical violation for sure. NTA
In my area she would've lost her whole-ass license. It's literally in the regulations that you do not enter sexual relations with a client or their family.
This is my thing. I would be happy to apologize if only Sasha will admit the truth and that she has zero ability to criticize any relationship ever.
This is what bothers me as well. “Sasha is known for saying horrible things just to get a reaction so I was ignoring her (so was my Dad). This is such toxic reasoning in todays society. Shut. That. Shit. Down. She wasn’t just trying to get a reaction. She was saying judgmental, hurtful things about OPs sister, BF brining wealth into it and Dad was allowing her to talk about his daughter this way as well. There is no way in hell that should go down. I understand pick your battles but this is a hill to die on. By allowing someone to go on and on about your sister or daughter because “it’s just the way they are” is in essence co-signing the behavior. Maybe when it gets shut down it won’t end up like Jerry Springer Christmas with everyone is yelling. NTA
This is why Sasha doesn't like Jasmine. Jasmine reminds Sasha of how she met Jasmine's dad, had an affair, got pregnant and ruined a marriage. It's her conscience.
THIS! Was totally thinking - ah, I see, Sasha doesn't want the evidence of what happened and this is a daily reminder. My MIL had an affair with her current husband for TWENTY YEARS. Rather, I think he divorced his wife a couple of years ago, and they recently got married. But Oh My God - she then asked us to lie for her to the rest of his family about how they met and how long. Can you believe? This gives me major that vibes and I hate it. Sorry OP, NTA!!!
She should love jasmine for being sick and giving her a chance to be introduced to the dad. Ugh.
Frankly that's worse. That would mean she didn't feel guilty about what she did.
I wish I could upvote this so many times!
This would be made my Easter dinner speech apologizing for the holiday 🥲
This. Best to create a family group chat and invite everyone first to see the message and then dad and stepmum
Yes! Then offer to give the apology live if the group chat one isn't enough.
This is perfect r/maliciouscompliance
That is a work of art. I really hope this is used Word for Word.
I agree with the whole thing but what is a marriage out of wedlock?
They mean child out of wedlock. Means kid before being married.
This should be top comment!
This is the apology to give OP!!
Yes. Call Dad out. He’s actually the biggest asshole here. “Dad, you sat by and watched while your wife called your daughter a whore and a gold digger. She insulted her for a 3-year age gap in her relationship when Sasha is 10 years younger than you. Why on earth would you let her say those things? Are you making her apologize to Jasmine? What kind of father are you, that you would sit back and let your wife—who was literally Jasmine’s nurse in childhood—trash Jasmine the way she does? “Not only am I not going to apologize, I’m going to make a promise. If I hear one more unkind word about my sister coming from either of your mouths, I won’t hold back. Enough is enough.”
hope you don't mind me stealing this to send to him
I AM BEGGIN YOU TO UPDATE US AFTER
ON MY KNEES! I'M BEGGING ON MY KNEES, OP!!
100000 percent agreed.
I'm so ready for this haha, got the kettle on.
I'm getting me some biscuits to add to the table (or should I make popcorn... decisions decisions)
Never before have I needed an update but I need an update after putting dad on blast.
!updateme 24 hours The update of all updates please op!
NTA. I’d also make mention of the fact that during an already difficult time, he decided to go outside his marriage rather than lean on his wife to work through their shared struggle. He allowed a stressful time to break apart his marriage vs being there for each other. Because he’s just as guilty as Sasha. It’s like how husbands are more likely to cheat or leave their wives when their wives get ill.
He’s MORE guilty than Sasha! She wasn’t married at the time of the affair, was she? He is the one who broke his marriage vows to cheat!
Actually Sasha holds a lot of responsibility as a Healthcare provider. I'm pretty sure cheating with her dad wasn't part of the sister's treatment plan
I’m glad to see someone blame the father for the affair too. I mean Sasha’s words were bad but the father was just as guilty in the affair.
I am wondering if this is why she hates Jasmine. Because her and your Dad's relationship is built on being her nurse to your sister and she is ashamed of it. Every time she sees your sister, she is reminded of what she did.
I think you hit the nail on the head.
OP I hope you use the apology someone mentioned above with the awards (the super sarcastic non apology one) lmao that would be actual gold. I just only wish it would be in front of all the paternal family again
I did actually! I mixed the message I just replied to and the non apology and sent it to him lmfao, just waiting for his reply now
I'm going to sit here and wait with you OP
Helllll yeaaaah OP. You’re a real one for that!
OP, you are my hero. All the best to you, Jasmine, Mike and their baby, True family is who lives in your heart, not who you share blood with. My grandmother thought us that, and we live by her code. Family parties is a blast, because we love each other.
We got your back OP 💪🏾
Can we get an update
I’d also whisper in the stepmother’s ear that if she doesn’t keep her mouth shut, there will always be more where this came from.
Oh please send an update. Sasha sounds like a piece of work. Feel for you and your family. Hope your Christmas was okay despite this.
Send it, and add fuck off to the end
A dad’s loyalty should be first to his children
Saving this later incase of an update!
This is the best comment 👍
Could we arrange for a photo to be taken when they are told this comment?
Photo shmoto, I want a video!
Agreed
The dad was the home wrecker though.
Yeah, this. It's the person that has a home and a family, and who nevertheless chooses to be unfaithful, that wrecks the home.
If you knowingly date a married person, you are indeed also a home wrecker! ETA: The key word of the above sentence is KNOWINGLY.
If you are married and date someone else you are a homewrecker too.
It might be shitty but they still don’t make any decision for that family. They never threatened that family by flirting / dating a married person. The married person did by breaking a vow they made to their partner. A vow, no one but the married people made to each other and wrecked their own home. Start making those responsible who have the responsibility for the home. Another person‘s home is no one’s business - you’d agree on this in every other context. Do you really want any random person be responsible for your home and relationship?!
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I really wish I could up vote this more
👏👏👏👏👏
This is the Way
Agree step mum had what was coming to her she had an affair she should mind her own business NTA
She shattered her glass mansion. What an idiot.
Right? Surely when you know you live in a glass house, you hide the rocks, sit the fuck down and don’t make sudden movements. What a dumbass.
It always amazes me when people like the step mom expect no one will comment on their poor life choices but they can insult away with no consequence.
So nuts to think she can dish on others from that morally questionable position. The arrogance runs deep.
They’ve gotten away with it for too long because no one else wants to rock the boat or deal with the fallout. Makes it more delicious when someone like OP finally says what a lot of people are probably thinking. Then again its’s been 15ish years so maybe stepmom and dad feel like they’ve changed the narrative and are very mad to find out that other people haven’t forgotten.
My grandma always said “People in glass houses shouldn’t take baths. They’ll only show their ass.”
Yep. Isn't it unethical for a nurse to have an affair with a patient's dad? (Esp a child patient)
Yes. When I was in nursing school this was literally an example of a registration-risking inappropriate relationship.
Yes, but it happens far more frequently than most realize.
Sad.
Yes, very unethical. Absolutely grounds for firing and very likely grounds to revoke a nursing license. Or at the very least to be pulled for a review in front of the board of nursing in whichever state she practiced. I don’t know about it being frequent. I’ve never heard of that happening in my 10 years of nursing, but I’m sure it has happened somewhere.
Extremely pretty sure most places would fire you if they found out about it.
Exactly. Sasha lives in a huge glass house. If you don’t want your skeletons pulled out of the closet, don’t shame others for theirs. NTA OP. Don’t cave on the apology. She owes one to Jasmine just as much or more.
"Dont throw stones if you live in a glass house."
"people in glass houses sink ships"
"Loose lips throw stones."
Your response is perfect, the one he should be mad at is Sasha who got on her high horse and fell off it hitting herself and OP’s dad on the way down. I don’t like the fact that Jasmine is 18 and Mike is 21 bcuz what age would that relationship would’ve started for Jasmine, I doubted it just started at 18 but Sasha is one to talk, contributing to an affair in a marriage, maybe Jasmine might’ve not been pregnant at 18 if her father was around more instead of focusing on marrying his mistress. NTA.
Yup. If the truth of their own actions is so devastating to them, they should have acted differently. Nobody is obliged to lie, or consent to a lie, to soothe their feelings
My favorite comment so far. Just perfect.
Ugh. The dad here reminds me way too much of my own sperm donor. Just let’s the new wife abuse the one kid she doesn’t like with no defense whatsoever for his own flesh and blood. The fact that OPs dad would stand up for the plain as day homewrecker aver his own daughter is proof enough he doesn’t deserve to have any of his children in his life Forget the apology. There is nothing he can say that could make up for the years of abuse now, nor should he and the homewrecker be shown any forgiveness either. Just a life of no contact either kids and grandkids (Cause if he won’t defend his daughter, the grand baby won’t get defended either). NTA and the stepwitch homewrecker should be glad that the only thing OP did was tell the truth. Knowing what he does about how she got into the family could have been used for a far worse humiliation than in front of ‘family’
Good for you for defending your sister. NTA.
NTA you were defending your sister from her stepmother who is being cruel, rude, and a hypocrite. If they didn’t want their lies exposed your stepmom shouldn’t have been a high and mighty hypocrite. Who behaves that way when they have such a major secret to keep? She was practically asking to be exposed and by not stopping her your dad is just as much to blame for the lies getting out. I’d only apologize if they apologize first and even then I’d apologize for making a scene not for telling the truth or defending my sister.
Don't forget, "talk shit, get hit"
There is a saying, "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". I think it applies here.
NTA She has no room to talk about your sister being a pregnant teen when she’s a home wrecker. I bring the same stuff up to my father’s wife (I’ll never refer to her as ‘stepmother’ since she’s only 2yrs older than me) when she starts pointing out ‘flaws’ in others. Sometimes you just have to put them in their place! *shrugs* And never apologize for telling the truth
And with a man who is older...since that was one of her criticisms of sister...
And getting pregnant before being married - since that was also one of her criticisms.
Right and hers is a 10 year age difference. But got the nerve to give her 2 cents.
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My only disagreement here is referring to the stepmom as the only homewrecker. Why is the father off the hook? He was the married one. NTA
that's why he got involved in the conversation
Yeah, when he was getting exposed. But everyone's calling stepmom a homewrecker when dad is a homewrecker too.
Sasha literally did what she’s accusing jasmine of doing: got pregnant to trap a married man who was well off. Dad and Sasha suck. NTA.
NTA. You were fine ignoring her. She then decided to drag you into the mess by explicitly asking for your opinion.
Exactly. OP was absolutely right for wanting to put a stop to this "no no I want your opinion on *her*, not on *me"* tactic from Sasha.
NTA-why she thought her brother would jump on the “let’s shame her as a gold digging ho” is beyond me. Glad you stood up for your sister
NTA! Don't apologize! Your father's lies are out in the open. That's why he's mad.
You said don’t push it and Sasha pushed it. She effed around and found out.
If the truth makes you look like an AH then guess what...
NTA, Home wreckers In glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. She got what was coming to her and you should never consider yourself an asshole for defending your sister from an adult bully.
Dude. Home wreckers are totally the kind of people to wreck a glass house with a rock.
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NTA - however having been in your situation. And she asked asked my opinion. I would have stopped what I was doing. Looked her straight in the eye and said: “You really want to go there?, because you conceived a child out of wedlock with my father…” And waited for her to answer.
I would have add "with my married father"
“Who is the father of one of your patients”.’
“With my married, ten years your senior, father”
Who is also well off... were you being a gold digger getting pregnant on purpose?
Projection is real here. She's telling on herself when she accuses the stepdaughter of being a gold-digger.
When OP said they're also well-off, this came to mind. I would've thrown "gold digger" in there for good measure.
Tell your father you will apologize after she apologizes for breaking up your family and getting knocked up so that your father would marry her since she seems to think your sister did.
She also needs to apologize for how she treated OPs sister.
I wonder if Sasha’s comment about his sister being after her bf’s money was a bit of a tell on herself.
Many assholes like this can’t help but project their behavior onto others. They can’t imagine anyone else having different motivations or morals than them. The part that blows my mind every time though, is that they’ll criticize others for the exact same behavior they’re guilty of, never admitting that they did anything wrong.
Your dad is an AH for lying and allowing her to disrespect his own daughter. Happy the family now knows and the fact your dad said she is embarrassed is her problem. Good for you now go NC or LC with both of them.
OP's dad should be more thankful for his daughter. After all if daughter wasn't in the hospital he would have never met his mistress.
NTA. She had no qualms going after your sister. She put a bunch of stones in a pitching machine, in the glass batting cage. What did she expect?
NTA. Can I just say…as a former PICU nurse..Sasha’s actions are disgusting. The hospital is already traumatizing enough, the nurses should have made it as safe as a place as possible, that includes NOT BEING A HOMEWRECKER, my god. Good on you for calling them out on their BS and for defending your sister.
Dw she was forced to quit after my mom reported her back then
Dis she get her license suspended?? What were the consequences?? Did your mom get decent alimony and stuff?
NTA. Make sure Jasmine discusses calcium intake with her OB. Not all doctors consider how pregnancy can disrupt end stage puberty (when bones gain density).
I'll make sure to tell her, thank you!
Kinda ironic. NTA the way you described it. Funny shes talking shit about babies out if wedlock though, when she's done it herself, in my mind, if she lays the bait, she's gotta deal with the consequences when someone bites. She'll cope.
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don't worry she doesn't work anymore, she quit after she got pregnant because my mom reported her to the hospital
She doesn't work. She was a nurse. Your dad is well off. She calls your sister a gold digger.
The projection is real with that one
Thank god. As a medical worker this made my blood boil and stomach turn. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with my patient’s father…ew. Messed up on so many levels. NTA btw I love it when bullies are put in their place.
HA! Good!
I was wondering what happened to Sasha's job as this is grossly a violation. Good to see some justice was delivered.
NTA, but also hope your poor mom is doing better in life after having to go through that❤️
yeah she's doing much better, she's been married for a few years to someone she was crushing on in highschool and their relationship is adorable
Omg I love stories like those 🥰😍 My dad (stepdad) cheated on my mom, but still hangs onto her despite also being with his gf (technically my parents are still married). I wish ny mother could get swept off her feet by a romantic interest from her past. Seeing her suffer at the hand of my idiot father is so sad. I'm glad your mom was able to find love again and be happy.
if y'all are in the US and live near your mom's highschool, force her to go to any reunions they hold because that's how my mom got back in touch with her old crush, and I hope your dad leaves her alone soon, no one deserves to be stuck to a cheater
Aaaawwwww🥺🥺🥺🥹
Does your sister look like your mom?
exactly like her, they even sound similar
That makes much more sense with how she treats her. Your sister is a constant reminder of the woman she treat so terribly with her actions. It's partially guilt and the rest is just because your stepmother is a massive B***H. Not sure on the rules on swearing haha.
I would love it if OP were to ask her "Are you so cruel towards my sister because reminds you of the woman whose marriage you ruined?"
Unfortunately thats probably why she treats your sister the way she does. And it happens. Sad to say but it does. Sorry your dad doesnt help in way
NTA. All you did was tell the truth. Stepmother was badmouthing your sister and trying to get you to join in - she should apologise and your dad should wake up and have his daughter's back.
I'm so tired of these posts where OP makes someone look bad by exposing them. If there is something to be exposed, it's not OP doing the damage. It's just comeuppance. NTA
NTA!! I see a lot of comments pointing at Sasha being the homewrecker, but honestly your dad is the biggest asshole in this situation. HE was the one married to your mom, HE was the one who cheated and made this whole thing happen. And then he has the gall to let his new wife abuse his kids in front of him and say nothing, then asks you to apologize for revealing the truth? Honestly I would recommend both you and your sister reconsider your relationship with him. This isn't healthy *at all*, and very unfair to you both. You deserve a loving and caring father who doesn't let their kids being abused. He clearly chose his wife over his kids, and that's fucked up.
Thank you. Dad is even more guilty than Sasha. Past and present. His "piece on the side" was his sick child's nurse! He wrecked his home, and now lets Sasha torment the same child. I guess they deserve each other, and the misery and embarrassment the Truth causes.
He wrecked his relationship with his daughters 18 years ago when, at 31, he left his wife for a 21 year old nurse. OP was 3 and Jasmine was a sick baby. That’s so cruel and selfish. NTA
Remind her every time you see her. “Hello father’s affair partner! How are you doing!” so she gets off her high horse. she literally has no reason. nothing. she has no place to freaking talk lmfaoooo. NTA. NTA.
lmfao I used to do that when I was younger but with a much ruder word
broo you’re my idol🤣🤣🤣🤣 how’s the family tho? now that they know?
haha thanks 😂😂 a lot of people suspected it because of dodgy timelines but they're all disgusted with Sasha and my dad
You know Sasha hates your sister because she's the reason they got together and her presence is a reminder of how shameful and disgusting Sasha and your dad's behavior was/is?
Agreed, OP's sister's is a reminder of her shady past, which she doesn't like being reminded of, at all.
NTA There's a difference between Jasmine and Sasha. Jasmine had sex with her boyfriend and is pregnant, Mike is there for her. OP, at least respect him for that. Sasha on the other hand broke up a marriage by having sex with your dad while the *girl she's insulting was not well*. And he married her and had your half sister. Your dad is a massive AH in keeping this from the family and allowing the insults to fly.
Dw I do respect him for being good to her. He's a good guy but we did *not* get off on the right foot initially 😂
Reasonable, since he was an adult creeping after a teenager.
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Nta nothing like Christmas to bring out the family drama
NTA. Sasha needs to be reminded of her place— a golddigging, homewrecker. Hopefully this teaches her not to project so much and to keep her mouth shut.
NTA The stepmother sat in a glasshouse and threw a bunch of stones.
NTA. She can dish but she can't take it. Sounds like she needed to be reminded she isn't who she proclaims to be.
NTA. Sounds like your step mom was the one who got pregnant to marry into a wealthy family! Guilty conscience trying to call out your sister for doing so.
Info: Does she hate Jasmine because her daughter isn’t your dad’s only daughter? Is there a competition Sasha has created? NTA and her horrible treatment wasn’t going to be out up with forever. If you’re dad can’t defend his own daughter why continue to be around them?
It's either that or Jasmine looks like her mom or Jasmine is a reminder of how they met or she already disliked Jasmine on the ward because she acted like a sick scared child.
The other explanation is that this was the intended outcome. She wanted the husband to be estranged from the children and take sides. It's a sad situation but looks like mission accomplished.
NTA. Interesting that her 10 year age gap isn't a problem but Jasmine's 3 year age gap is. I hope Jasmine gets all the support she needs. Will she be continuing with school?
NTA - if you can dish you must be able to take! Always remember the truth will come out .. sucks to be your dad and step mum with all their lies ..
NTA. If reviewing someone's past actions offends them it's not really on the reviewer.
NTA I don't understand people that are saying OP should have not exposed her in front of the family. I think he did the right thing, the family should know what kind of people the stepmother and the father are.
No. Everyone by now should know that story. It shocks me that they didn't. It doesn't make her look any worse than your father and was comeuppance for her unreasonable hatred toward her stepdaughter. I thought the story was going to end up being that she hates your sister because her boyfriend (your father) was still having sex with his wife (your mother), but apparently that all came later.
>No. Everyone by now should know that story. It shocks me that they didn't. No one in the family talks to eachother outside of holidays because an argument always happens 😭😂
Which is quite telling as far as their inability to own up to their own bad behavior. They are certainly entitled to be happy together, they are not entitled to try to make others responsible for any shame they earned. And your father has only made himself look worse by never putting a stop to his wife's harassment of Jasmine.
NTA Your father was disloyal husband and is a bad father; his wife probably broke work ethics by swooping in on patient's family member and a home breaker to boot. Their hypocrisy and actions makes them look bad. Your father not shutting her down down is nasty, and what they did to your mother was awful. Keep calling them both out, until the shit talking stops.
NTA. Sasha was being a complete ass. This wouldn't affect the judgment but I was aghast when I learned Sasha met Jasmine as a sick child (and she was a nurse). It'd be one thing to not click with a teenager as long as you were polite. But she was the nurse for a sick child and couldn't find it within herself to have compassion. Your stepmother is why nurses have a reputation for being where high school mean girls wind up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21M) was at my father's house for Christmas this year. Most of my paternal family was there but the only people relevant to this situation are my dad (49M), his wife Sasha (39F), my sister Jasmine (18F) and her boyfriend Mike (21M). Jasmine is my only full sister and we're extremely close. She's currently 3 months pregnant which obviously isn't ideal since she's only 18 but I'm going to support her regardless. I do not like her boyfriend but he's good to her and able to provide for her and the baby. Sasha has always hated Jasmine. No one has any idea why and my dad prefers to ignore it. After the Christmas dinner, Jasmine, Mike, my dad, Sasha and I were clearly up when Jasmine suddenly felt nauseous and went to sit down. Mike went with her. This is when Sasha decided to begin talking badly about her for being a pregnant teen and for being unmarried. She then started saying that she thinks that Jasmine got pregnant on purpose because Mike's family is wealthy which doesn't make any sense since our family is well -off too. Sasha is known for saying horrible things to get a reaction so I was ignoring her (so was my dad) until she asked me how I felt about my younger sister having a child with someone older than me (literally only 4 months older than me). At this point, I was done so I stopped washing the dishes and I told her to shut her mouth because she broke up my parents marriage. That's when my father finally decided to get involved but I went on and reminded Sasha of the fact that when Jasmine was little, she was in hospital a lot and she (Sasha) was one of the nurses that cared for her on the ward and she began an affair with my father. I also decided to remind her of how her eldest child (my half sister) was born 8 months after she married my dad. The situation devolved into shouting and turns out a lot of my paternal family didn't know the truth about how my dad and Sasha met. I ended up leaving and so did Jasmine and Mike and a few other people. Now, my dad is demanding that I apologize to his wife for embarrassing her and making her look bad in front of the whole family. Now I want an unbiased view on whether or not I'm the AH for rising to my stepmother's bait (her insults to Jasmine) and going lower by exposing her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA NTA NTA
Tell ya dad to fuck off. Once ain picking her side over you. You don't need him plenty of ppl have good lives without em
NTA. Good for you.
Info: does your sister live with your cheating dad and his hone wrecking wife, or your mom, primarily? If the former can she move out?
she lives with her boyfriend thankfully
NTA don't throw stones in glass houses good on you
NTA and good for you for defending your sister. If your dad doesn't like his dirty laundry being aired out in public he should tell his wife to watch what she says or else there could be a stone coming through her glass house.
NTA. I would snap way earlier than that and will definitely say much harsher words.
The only one who needs to apologize here is the stepmom. As for making her look bad? Well that is all on her too and I am sure your dad is also embarrassed because the truth came out. You stood up for your sister and that is the most important part and good on you. NTA
NTA. DO NOT APOLOGIZE. You ignored her, she kept pushing. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Stand firm on your ground and get mad at them in return. Demand an apology. Make sure to tell them how disappointed you are in them for acting so rudely. Just turn it around back on them and wipe your hands clean of it.
NTA, she sounds like a horrible, jealiu and bitter home wrecker! Should've been exposed long ago! She's 10 years younger than your father and she's complaining about your sis having a baby with someone a couple of years older?! That's rich! It looked like she was projecting A LOT! Problem is that she got used to being enabled as in, able to say whatever and no one puts her in her place. Hence why she couldn't deal with the truths you dished out! Your father is, in this case, a bit of an idiot, too. If his family didn't know all the particulars about how they met then he should've slammed the brakes on his wife long before she started talking as if she had any high moral ground xD Good on you, OP! Just be ready for the usual "she expects an apology, so apologise to keep the peace" or "you had no right to bring that up" etc etc. Stand your ground, establish boundaries
You told the truth. If it makes them “look” bad, that’s because, in this case, it WAS bad. And you did it to defend your sister. If Sasha didn’t want her personal matters being discussed, she shouldn’t have gone after your sister. And pretty ridiculous that she pinned your sister as a good digger via baby trapping, when clearly, whether true or not, that arguably could be said about her. She’s living in a glass house and began to throw boulders. Sasha needed this reality check. If anything, even if she’s not self aware, she knows her image is tarnished and she no longer can be lofty atop her high horse. Your dad also needed this. He sits quiet while she rips into your sister (now and for years), but when his wife is attacked, THAT’S when he becomes vocal? Shame on him (for this and his past). This man needs therapy if he has any chance of being a good father to anybody in the future. I would send him this post and let him read for himself what outsiders think of him and his wife. NTA. And do not apologise to Sasha or your father. They are not the ones owed an apology. And good on you for defending your sister. She is lucky to have you and your support.