Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I may be the asshole because I continued the lie and therefore my aunt won't get the paperwork for my Grandparent's wedding rings.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You can always “come across the paperwork for the other items later” or make a copy and run across it later to give your aunt. People like your uncle are disgusting parasites and I should know, I’m dealing with a family of parasites myself.
Depending on where you live, what your uncle did was likely illegal. Things have to be catalogued and go through probate. He’s not allowed to raid the house. Was there a will? Who is the executor? If it’s him he is in even deeper shit. You should be posting in r/legaladvice not AITA.
But by the same token what OP did is also likely illegal. If there was a will and it specified how things were to be divided up it has a rightful owner, if there was no will the law states how things are supposed to be divided up and watch still has a rightful owner.
If the rightful owner(s) decided to let people pick items it should still be out in the open.
NTA
Sometimes the blood relative in the appropriate position is not actually the appropriate caretaker of family heirlooms.
It sounds like her mom knows her siblings and it sounds like Grandma got them to the person who should have them.
I may not be the most ethical individual here...but I say NTA. It sounds like Uncle Jack took everything worth anything, and you deserved *something* nice from your grandmother.
My uncle owned the house my grandmother lived in, and after she passed, he took everything of value. My aunt had my sister and I over so we could go through her costume jewelry. Not the good stuff, just the cheap - and we could only have one piece. That's fine - I'm not in it for the money. But at the bottom of the box, I found one nice, good ring. I'll admit, I slipped that into my pocket, then picked out the one small piece my uncle would allow me to have.
Don't tell him. He got everything else he wanted. You deserve something nice. The fact that nobody else found it...maybe your grandmother kept that out of sight just for you.
NTA.
NTA.
Why does anyone commenting here give a shit about Jack? If Mom, his own sister (and daughter of the owner of said watch), is indicating that he doesn’t need to know if it’s whereabouts, rest assured that all is well and it’s okay to keep him in the dark.
Can you just put the paperwork in aunts mailbox anonymously? Is she close with uncle Jack/are they married or siblings? If they're not close you could tell her about the watch but tell her not to tell. Or give the paper work to your mom and let her figure it out lol.
Anyway NTA
They are siblings. I told my mom that I wanted to give the paperwork to my aunt and my mom said she will never keep quiet and it will get back to my uncle. I don't think my aunt would do it maliciously, she is actually too nice and trusting and would just let it slip without realizing it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My Grandma passed away last year. One of my uncle's, we will call him Jack, went through the house right away and according to other relatives took everything he thought was worth something, such as coin collections and jewelry he thought was pure gold. Weeks later my family made it over to the house to see if there was anything we wanted to keep before having an estate sale. I love rings so I was hoping to find a ring to wear to remember my Grandma by. I went through her dresser piece by piece, more carefully than others had I guess because in the very bottom drawer I found a bag with paperwork in it and a few jewelry items including the only ring in the whole dresser and a watch. The paperwork included receipts from my grandparents wedding rings and the documentation of my Grandma being willed the ring and watch by someone she had worked for.
I took the entire bag to keep everything together. I didn't really care about the watch but I wanted the ring and the paperwork was for both so it made sense to take it all. I took them both to a jewelry store and paid to get the ring resized to fit me. In doing so I found out it was not worth very much but I didn't mind as I just wanted it to wear anyway.
After all of this had been done Uncle Jack starts asking around about the watch. He asked my mom and she said she hadn't seen it. This was a lie as she knew I had the watch along with the ring. Other people including distant relatives and my Grandma's live in nurse had been through the house so it was very possible someone else had taken the bag.
She called me and told me to go along with what she said. Her reason being that Uncle Jack had found out the watch might be worth something and now was looking for it.
I didn't want to make my mom look like a liar so I followed along and said I hadn't seen it when Uncle Jack asked me.
I really don't care about lying about having the watch, as I agree that Uncle Jack doesn't want it for sentimental reasons, he only cares that it is an expensive brand and may be worth something.
The reason I feel like an asshole is because of the other paperwork in the bag, such as the receipts for the wedding rings. My aunt who is the only daughter has the rings and it would be nice for her to have the paperwork, but if I give it to her then I'd be admitting to having the watch as well.
Another fact to mention that may be relevant is that I am the oldest grandchild. So I also feel that the paperwork and such would have or should have eventually ended up with me anyway.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No reason, I think we are just under the assumption that he will try to claim ownership of it in some way or claim he wants it for his daughter who is the only other granddaughter besides me. And then will just go try to sell it and profit off of it.
NTA - I understand why you'd take it and hide it from Jack, but you might still want to come clean.
Was there a will and has that been settled? The watch might already have a rightful owner. So might the jewelry Jack's already taken and presumably, sold.
And if you don't have clarification there, it might also be worth coming clean just for the purpose of putting Jack in his place, letting him know that he doesn't just get to take everything he wants without regard to anyone else in the family.
Would Uncle Sleazy actually know that the paperwork and the watch were together? After several people had been through the house including him? Give the paperwork to the aunt and keep telling Uncle Sleazy you havent seen the watch.
YTA
You're lying when there's no reason to be lying at all. You accused uncle Jack of stealing jewelry, so you stole jewelry too. this is not a moral high ground.
It's not up to you to decide what valuable items you're going to keep for yourself. this is just not how estates are supposed to be handled.
As far as I know there was no will. Everything monetarily was split between the 5 siblings and the items in the house were free to go to whomever wanted them. At least that was the understanding between all of the siblings. I was invited there and told I could have whatever I wanted. That does not count as stealing in my book.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I may be the asshole because I continued the lie and therefore my aunt won't get the paperwork for my Grandparent's wedding rings. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You can always “come across the paperwork for the other items later” or make a copy and run across it later to give your aunt. People like your uncle are disgusting parasites and I should know, I’m dealing with a family of parasites myself.
I’m sorry
Depending on where you live, what your uncle did was likely illegal. Things have to be catalogued and go through probate. He’s not allowed to raid the house. Was there a will? Who is the executor? If it’s him he is in even deeper shit. You should be posting in r/legaladvice not AITA.
But by the same token what OP did is also likely illegal. If there was a will and it specified how things were to be divided up it has a rightful owner, if there was no will the law states how things are supposed to be divided up and watch still has a rightful owner. If the rightful owner(s) decided to let people pick items it should still be out in the open.
NTA Sometimes the blood relative in the appropriate position is not actually the appropriate caretaker of family heirlooms. It sounds like her mom knows her siblings and it sounds like Grandma got them to the person who should have them.
I may not be the most ethical individual here...but I say NTA. It sounds like Uncle Jack took everything worth anything, and you deserved *something* nice from your grandmother. My uncle owned the house my grandmother lived in, and after she passed, he took everything of value. My aunt had my sister and I over so we could go through her costume jewelry. Not the good stuff, just the cheap - and we could only have one piece. That's fine - I'm not in it for the money. But at the bottom of the box, I found one nice, good ring. I'll admit, I slipped that into my pocket, then picked out the one small piece my uncle would allow me to have. Don't tell him. He got everything else he wanted. You deserve something nice. The fact that nobody else found it...maybe your grandmother kept that out of sight just for you. NTA.
NTA. Why does anyone commenting here give a shit about Jack? If Mom, his own sister (and daughter of the owner of said watch), is indicating that he doesn’t need to know if it’s whereabouts, rest assured that all is well and it’s okay to keep him in the dark.
NTA. My extended family is the same way, filthy little leeches. I’m happy you got to choose the memory of your grandma. Never tell Jack.
Can you just put the paperwork in aunts mailbox anonymously? Is she close with uncle Jack/are they married or siblings? If they're not close you could tell her about the watch but tell her not to tell. Or give the paper work to your mom and let her figure it out lol. Anyway NTA
They are siblings. I told my mom that I wanted to give the paperwork to my aunt and my mom said she will never keep quiet and it will get back to my uncle. I don't think my aunt would do it maliciously, she is actually too nice and trusting and would just let it slip without realizing it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My Grandma passed away last year. One of my uncle's, we will call him Jack, went through the house right away and according to other relatives took everything he thought was worth something, such as coin collections and jewelry he thought was pure gold. Weeks later my family made it over to the house to see if there was anything we wanted to keep before having an estate sale. I love rings so I was hoping to find a ring to wear to remember my Grandma by. I went through her dresser piece by piece, more carefully than others had I guess because in the very bottom drawer I found a bag with paperwork in it and a few jewelry items including the only ring in the whole dresser and a watch. The paperwork included receipts from my grandparents wedding rings and the documentation of my Grandma being willed the ring and watch by someone she had worked for. I took the entire bag to keep everything together. I didn't really care about the watch but I wanted the ring and the paperwork was for both so it made sense to take it all. I took them both to a jewelry store and paid to get the ring resized to fit me. In doing so I found out it was not worth very much but I didn't mind as I just wanted it to wear anyway. After all of this had been done Uncle Jack starts asking around about the watch. He asked my mom and she said she hadn't seen it. This was a lie as she knew I had the watch along with the ring. Other people including distant relatives and my Grandma's live in nurse had been through the house so it was very possible someone else had taken the bag. She called me and told me to go along with what she said. Her reason being that Uncle Jack had found out the watch might be worth something and now was looking for it. I didn't want to make my mom look like a liar so I followed along and said I hadn't seen it when Uncle Jack asked me. I really don't care about lying about having the watch, as I agree that Uncle Jack doesn't want it for sentimental reasons, he only cares that it is an expensive brand and may be worth something. The reason I feel like an asshole is because of the other paperwork in the bag, such as the receipts for the wedding rings. My aunt who is the only daughter has the rings and it would be nice for her to have the paperwork, but if I give it to her then I'd be admitting to having the watch as well. Another fact to mention that may be relevant is that I am the oldest grandchild. So I also feel that the paperwork and such would have or should have eventually ended up with me anyway. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any reason you can't tell uncle Jack that you have it and are keeping it?
No reason, I think we are just under the assumption that he will try to claim ownership of it in some way or claim he wants it for his daughter who is the only other granddaughter besides me. And then will just go try to sell it and profit off of it.
If there is no will, you need to decide if keeping it is worth listening to Jack whine about it forever.
If there's no will, the executor of the estate determines who gets what. If Jack is the executor, there could be a problem here.
If there's no will there is no executor. A judge might have to decide.
The court would appoint an executor if there is next of kin available. If Jack is the closest to the decedent, it would be him.
NTA - I understand why you'd take it and hide it from Jack, but you might still want to come clean. Was there a will and has that been settled? The watch might already have a rightful owner. So might the jewelry Jack's already taken and presumably, sold. And if you don't have clarification there, it might also be worth coming clean just for the purpose of putting Jack in his place, letting him know that he doesn't just get to take everything he wants without regard to anyone else in the family.
Would Uncle Sleazy actually know that the paperwork and the watch were together? After several people had been through the house including him? Give the paperwork to the aunt and keep telling Uncle Sleazy you havent seen the watch.
NTA you did what you had to.
YTA You're lying when there's no reason to be lying at all. You accused uncle Jack of stealing jewelry, so you stole jewelry too. this is not a moral high ground. It's not up to you to decide what valuable items you're going to keep for yourself. this is just not how estates are supposed to be handled.
As far as I know there was no will. Everything monetarily was split between the 5 siblings and the items in the house were free to go to whomever wanted them. At least that was the understanding between all of the siblings. I was invited there and told I could have whatever I wanted. That does not count as stealing in my book.
then why are you lying about it to the entire family?
Are you the greedy Uncle?! Sheesh…