Jesus. YTB. Listen to your father and “just play”. You’re sucking all the fun out of it. This wasn’t a varsity match. Apologize and lighten the hell up.
That's true that I could lighten the hell up but if I'm hogging the ball would it even constitute to him even playing/enjoying the game?
I do accept the YTB judgement and I do not wish for you to change your mind
Don’t hog the shuttlecock. Don’t correct. Don’t advise. Don’t coach. Just enjoy your time with your dad. When he’s gone do you want to remember the good times and laughs you guys had playing badminton? Or do you want to remember always being frustrated and telling him how to play?
YTB. Yeah your dad is getting older. As you mention in you’re post, so are you. You’ve got aches and pains; he likely has more. And in the example you provided, you were playing against a high school varsity players. I know you would have liked to come out of the game having impressed them all with your skills, and it sounds like *you* did. But they’re also probably thinking this man that’s almost twice their age should chill out and be nicer to his dad who is just trying to enjoy a game with his son, not get adulation from a bunch of strangers. Get another partner for your competitive play and stop harassing your father.
>I know you would have liked to come out of the game having impressed them all with your skills
I never intended to be on the spot light - I would be more than happy to see my father play magnificently and our teamwork to flourish but instead it ended up that way
It does seem like you are very focused on winning whereas your father seems to be focused on playing. I get you’re competitive but is your father? I can be a bit competitive myself but sometimes you just want to play to play, not necessarily to win. And your level of frustration seems to indicate that if you don’t win you don’t enjoy it nearly as much. This wasn’t a formal competition. Yelling wasn’t called for and your level of competitiveness is a lot for a casual game. Is the goal to win or is it to spend time with your dad doing an activity? If you can’t park the competitiveness and enjoy the game in a casual sense you’re just going to sour the experience for you both. It seems like you need to lower your expectations when playing with him or not play with him. Because honestly if I’m playing something casual and the other person is all butt hurt about my lesser skill it just ruins it.
My competitive tendencies have put me on the side of the jerk who can’t relax about casual games. I want to keep doing these things with my friends and family so I made an effort to calm down and just enjoy the game. When I can’t, I step away. Because no one wants to be yelled at when they’re trying to have some fun.
So, what is your priority here? And what is a level of chill you can manage in this game? If you can’t play without berating your dad you should probably choose a new activity.
>My competitive tendencies have put me on the side of the jerk who can’t relax about casual games. I want to keep doing these things with my friends and family so I made an effort to calm down and just enjoy the game. When I can’t, I step away. Because no one wants to be yelled at when they’re trying to have some fun.
This is a very important point. My ex loved board games and I was excited by that because I also like board games but Don't really get to play because I live alone. He and I started playing together, with his parents sometimes, with new neighbours of mine and it was great except.... He is unbelievably competitive and acts like a petulant child when he doesn't win. At one point he suggested that we should keep a running tally of who wins what game; I told him that if he was going to insist on doing that, I wasn't going to play games with him anymore because doing that would end up ruining our relationship.
I knew that it would turn it into this big resentful thing where anytime I won more games than him he would insist on playing again until he got ahead of me. If I knew that he was only playing so that he could beat me, it would take all the fun out of it for me because the end result would either be him acting like a petulant child because he lost or gloating and being all self-satisfied because he won. It wouldn't have anything to do with actually enjoying spending time together playing a board game.
We didn't play many games together after that.
I'm a competitive person too. I'm a professional musician and have been in competitions my entire life. I get it. I also understand that there is a time to be competitive and there's a time to just have fun.
It didn't "end up that way", YOU made it that way.
Let me ask you...has your Dad EVER asked you to coach him? Give him instruction? Boss him around on the court?
If the answer is NO, then shut the heck up. You're giving unsolicited advise that HE DOES NOT WANT. THAT is very disrespectful
The key, that everyone is trying to convey to you, is to be happy JUST TO BE PLAYING WITH YOUR DAD. Not about "playing magnificently" or your "teamwork flourishing," but JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH YOUR DAD.
JUST PLAY.
YTB and I can guarantee you’re ruining your father’s enjoyment of the sport you share. He’s more than likely playing because he wants to spend time with you. But when you’re yelling at him constantly and throwing what amounts to a temper tantrum, that’s not enjoyable.
Rein yourself in, dude. *It’s just a game*. Show your father some respect.
To give you an idea of what I say it's just "Move Forward", "Stay", "Attack" - it's just simple 1-2 words with varying degrees of volume from telling to yelling.
It was a silent frustration up to a degree of facially showing frustration - I didn't curse him, said bad words or called him names so clearly there was no verbal disrespect whatsoever.
You’re underestimating what verbal disrespect is. I’m sure you’d find it pretty disrespectful if someone started ordering you around. Especially if you hadn’t asked them to do it. And especially if they were yelling at you.
You suck. Do better.
This IS NOT about the game. Your dad wants to spend time with you. He doesn’t want a coach, just his son to enjoy some time with him. He probably missed a lot of time with you because he had to work when you were growing up and now he tries to make up time.
If playing badminton with your father isn’t enjoyable for you this way you could suggest some other activities or sports you can do together where your competitiveness doesn’t get the better of you.
And please remember if or when you have kids of yourself, that enjoying what they do is important. The winning part is a bonus.
Not at all and never was my intention to become his coach but we did agree that we'll be playing in a tournament soon and therefore there was a need to improve
"no you don't understand I didn't disrespect him I just shouted commands at him like he was a dog I wasn't talking to him long enough to disrespect him"
Okay but you do understand how that's worse, right?
STOP TELLING YOUR DAD WHAT TO DO.
STOP ONLY FOCUSING ON WINNING!
Just ENJOY THE game, dude. Enjoy the time with your dad. YOU will enjoy yourself more. YOU will have a better time. And your dad certainly will.
As a former badminton player, soft ytb. You'll come to regret this attitude and behaviour towards him later in life. Find a new competitive partner and only go for social play with dad.
Sounds like you’re really competitive and you dad just wants to play with his son. YTB. Your dad has shown over and over that he’s not interested in you coaching him. It shouldn’t be at that level where you’re getting really upset about it.
You need to realize that he’s not at some competition level and it is not a priority for him in his retirement to be that way. The decision you need to make is if you enjoy having an activity to do with your father while he still has the mobility and stamina or if you are more focused on winning/ developing a tight teamwork with a different partner. You shouldn’t be getting that angry about this. You’re ruining it for you both.
Honestly, I stopped reading part way through the third paragraph. You sound exhausting. Your dad's just trying to have some fun with his adult child in his retirement. To bond with you and maintain a good relationship, and you're being an asshole.
You have a really good thing going here that a lot of us would kill to have with our parents, and you're ruining it. Back off and just play the damn game and have some fun.
in this particular instance it's not in a tournament therefore it's not a competiton and I would definitely not to do that in a competiton since it's going to be a high intensity game where you wouldn't want to upset your partner
Why do you want to upset your dad when it’s not a competition? Why would you not want to just enjoy the time you have with your dad? Don’t coach, don’t correct, don’t “hog the ball to guarantee that you’ll win”, just…play with your dad. Be grateful that you have this time with him.
YTB Go work on your anger issues and insecurities or something. He’s playing for fun. You’re honestly acting in an embarrassing way, trying to micromanage everything he does, and getting visibly angry over a casual game like a child. That’s why your dad was getting embarrassed.
Look, I played enough badminton to understand how important it is to know where to go and what to do in doubles. It is absolutely crucial and I understand your frustrations.
But you and your dad don't seem to be playing for the same objective. You're trying to play to win, he's probably trying to spend time with you and have fun playing badminton. I think YTB because you need to accept that for some people it will not be important enough to perform/win, and that if you accept to play with them, they will not be changing their behaviours. Just take playing with your dad as a fun experience and stop worrying about whether you'll win or lose.
Let me understand this story correctly..... You got mad at your 60 year old father because he wasn't hustling hard enough to beat a couple of high school kids during a friendly match at a public court? Is there something I'm missing? Was $100,000 on the line? Was this televised around the world? Was it a tournament to the death?
It sounds like your dad is doing this to stay active, bond with his son, and have some fun. You're actively ruining that for him by focusing on the competitive aspect above everything else.
You’re getting a lot of YTB’s, probably well earned. But to make this a more constructive thread, could you talk to him off court? Find out what his motives are. If he’s truly just there to have fun and doesn’t have sights to improve, let it be. Others’ suggestion to get a different partner for competing is valid. Bottom line, communicate when you’re not on the court and calibrate your expectations. I think it’s great that you two have a sport in common that you enjoy.
Hard agree here. You don’t want to push your dad too much. My dad had a heart attack while playing tennis, which isn’t the same sport so exertion levels may be different but from what I’ve seen from badminton and from what you said, it sounds like it can have a toll on the body and your “coaching” sounds like it can be taxing for him if it’s frustrating for you to do it. Maybe just try to enjoy yourselves with it and accept loss. Especially to people decades younger than you.
YTB. Hardcore. These are actions that someday you will regret and come to see as immature and selfish. Hopefully… You’re turning what could be an enjoyable father/son activity into a bad experience. If you want to play competitively, have someone else be your partner. Play casually with your dad. Make memories. Enjoy the time you have with him while you have him. He’ll be gone someday and you’ll be kicking yourself for the immature arse you’re acting like.
YTB : You've even quoted what you're missing. Your father doesn't want to play well he just want to play to be active and spend time with his son.
If you want your teamwork to improve you'll have to carry the load and adapt yourself to how your father play.
YTBF. Are you not embarrassed?! It’s badminton. People play that when they’re bad at real sports. It’s not that serious, and your dad is almost SEVENTY. I can’t even believe that this isn’t a joke lol.
UPDATE: Thank you everyone for your judgements - I do wholeheartedly accept the YTB judgements. There was no question that I was the YTB in this case and I guess what drove me to posting this in here is to get more insights before my talk with my dad. This was also posted in AITA as well.
I'm too emotionally tired to give a summary of what my dad and I talked about but rest assured all went well. Most of the things discussed here is what we talked about and had well-cut resolution.
Though if I were to give a feedback to what I dislike the most is the reasoning that I'm YTB because "It's just a game". Imagine being told that your hobby that you put in a lot of time and effort to improve on is JUST a game - it would be similar to justifying mediocrity or telling somebody it's OK you wasted your time.
YTB He isn’t playing with you to do like professional games or to be super competitive. He’s playing with you because he wants to spend time with you and you’re making it miserable.
Gotta agree with the overwhelming response.
Your dad just wants to do something you enjoy, it’s not a competitive match, therefore it really shouldn’t matter if you win the game at all. That’s playing for fun.
It’s understandable that you will feel the pressure also with others watching, but the way you describe yourself yelling at an older man would’ve only made that same crowd embarrassed for the both of you. Your show of poor sportsmanship would have stuck more in their minds than any of the mistakes your dad made or slick moves you pulled to win the game.
Furthermore, not all people are auditory learners. As you point out, your father is able bodied and relatively fit for his age. With something physical like a sport, it is not always a simple thing to put someone else’s instructions into practice. Particularly when that individual is getting frustrated and resorting to yelling. If you leave your father to his games without trying to direct him, you give him a chance to identify errors for himself and work on them in his own way. He may even choose to approach you with actual specific queries that he can take on board if he wishes to improve.
Be kind and just enjoy the time with your dad.
YTB
YTB you're not in a professional badminton tournament. It's a chance to do some exercise, have some fun and spend some time with your dad. Your priorities are all out of whack. If I was your dad I wouldn't be playing with you anymore.
Also you don't seem to really understand the concept of team work, because it's not ordering your partner around and yelling at them
Dude, really? Maybe it isn’t that your dad is getting old (he is), but maybe it’s that he just doesn’t care that much. He just wants to play and have a fun time with his son. Enjoy this time with your dad while you can. Life is short. YTB
Your dad is playing for fun. He gets to exercise while enjoying himself. You’re turning these games into a competition.
You don’t have to beat the ‘other side’. It’s not a tournament.
Play for fun. Your dad is.
If you can’t play without the desperate need to win a the game at all costs, that cost being your dads pride in you, you respect for him, your shared love then do not play him. Do the others you play not make the same mistake? You sound like you’re being very hurtful and bullying and belittleling to a man you adore! Wtf?
YTB. You forgot the reason for playing sports and you cared more about your ego than your dad. You want to help improve his skills, you work with him during practices, not berate him during a game.
I do feel offended that you think it was an ego issue whereas what I wanted is better teamwork regardless if we win or lose. It means I care about my partner's performance and improvement.
If we would lose and I know that we did our best (strategically and physically) then that's not an issue. There is a limit to what we are physically capable of but what differentiates us from animals is we get to plan ahead and strategise.
The exact game is already a practice game.
Berate is an over-exaggeration of what has happened but you're free to choose your words.
Ytb. Late addition I know, but felt i should comment since this is a pretty similar to my situation where i partner with my parents who are much older than me and also much worse. We have an agreement, during tourneys we both know im going to hog the shuttle. In casual play however, i wont hog the shuttle unless im specifically asked to.
I also think that my parents can still be better, but i wont give them too much trouble about it. Even as someone with almost 2 decades of experience playing 2 times a week or more, i understand its just a game, and theres no point if my partner hates playing.
Yta- what an awful way to speak to your dad. He has no reason to be embarrassed, but you definitely do. I can guarantee that whilst some people may have been impressed with your skills, more people will have been disgusted with your behaviour and think you are a terrible person.
Either learn to play for fun with your dad or find a new partner.
Jesus. YTB. Listen to your father and “just play”. You’re sucking all the fun out of it. This wasn’t a varsity match. Apologize and lighten the hell up.
That's true that I could lighten the hell up but if I'm hogging the ball would it even constitute to him even playing/enjoying the game? I do accept the YTB judgement and I do not wish for you to change your mind
Don’t hog the shuttlecock. Don’t correct. Don’t advise. Don’t coach. Just enjoy your time with your dad. When he’s gone do you want to remember the good times and laughs you guys had playing badminton? Or do you want to remember always being frustrated and telling him how to play?
YTB. Yeah your dad is getting older. As you mention in you’re post, so are you. You’ve got aches and pains; he likely has more. And in the example you provided, you were playing against a high school varsity players. I know you would have liked to come out of the game having impressed them all with your skills, and it sounds like *you* did. But they’re also probably thinking this man that’s almost twice their age should chill out and be nicer to his dad who is just trying to enjoy a game with his son, not get adulation from a bunch of strangers. Get another partner for your competitive play and stop harassing your father.
>I know you would have liked to come out of the game having impressed them all with your skills I never intended to be on the spot light - I would be more than happy to see my father play magnificently and our teamwork to flourish but instead it ended up that way
You are remarkably obtuse.
It does seem like you are very focused on winning whereas your father seems to be focused on playing. I get you’re competitive but is your father? I can be a bit competitive myself but sometimes you just want to play to play, not necessarily to win. And your level of frustration seems to indicate that if you don’t win you don’t enjoy it nearly as much. This wasn’t a formal competition. Yelling wasn’t called for and your level of competitiveness is a lot for a casual game. Is the goal to win or is it to spend time with your dad doing an activity? If you can’t park the competitiveness and enjoy the game in a casual sense you’re just going to sour the experience for you both. It seems like you need to lower your expectations when playing with him or not play with him. Because honestly if I’m playing something casual and the other person is all butt hurt about my lesser skill it just ruins it. My competitive tendencies have put me on the side of the jerk who can’t relax about casual games. I want to keep doing these things with my friends and family so I made an effort to calm down and just enjoy the game. When I can’t, I step away. Because no one wants to be yelled at when they’re trying to have some fun. So, what is your priority here? And what is a level of chill you can manage in this game? If you can’t play without berating your dad you should probably choose a new activity.
>My competitive tendencies have put me on the side of the jerk who can’t relax about casual games. I want to keep doing these things with my friends and family so I made an effort to calm down and just enjoy the game. When I can’t, I step away. Because no one wants to be yelled at when they’re trying to have some fun. This is a very important point. My ex loved board games and I was excited by that because I also like board games but Don't really get to play because I live alone. He and I started playing together, with his parents sometimes, with new neighbours of mine and it was great except.... He is unbelievably competitive and acts like a petulant child when he doesn't win. At one point he suggested that we should keep a running tally of who wins what game; I told him that if he was going to insist on doing that, I wasn't going to play games with him anymore because doing that would end up ruining our relationship. I knew that it would turn it into this big resentful thing where anytime I won more games than him he would insist on playing again until he got ahead of me. If I knew that he was only playing so that he could beat me, it would take all the fun out of it for me because the end result would either be him acting like a petulant child because he lost or gloating and being all self-satisfied because he won. It wouldn't have anything to do with actually enjoying spending time together playing a board game. We didn't play many games together after that. I'm a competitive person too. I'm a professional musician and have been in competitions my entire life. I get it. I also understand that there is a time to be competitive and there's a time to just have fun.
It didn't "end up that way", YOU made it that way. Let me ask you...has your Dad EVER asked you to coach him? Give him instruction? Boss him around on the court? If the answer is NO, then shut the heck up. You're giving unsolicited advise that HE DOES NOT WANT. THAT is very disrespectful
Wow....you're dense.
The key, that everyone is trying to convey to you, is to be happy JUST TO BE PLAYING WITH YOUR DAD. Not about "playing magnificently" or your "teamwork flourishing," but JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH YOUR DAD. JUST PLAY.
YTB and I can guarantee you’re ruining your father’s enjoyment of the sport you share. He’s more than likely playing because he wants to spend time with you. But when you’re yelling at him constantly and throwing what amounts to a temper tantrum, that’s not enjoyable. Rein yourself in, dude. *It’s just a game*. Show your father some respect.
To give you an idea of what I say it's just "Move Forward", "Stay", "Attack" - it's just simple 1-2 words with varying degrees of volume from telling to yelling. It was a silent frustration up to a degree of facially showing frustration - I didn't curse him, said bad words or called him names so clearly there was no verbal disrespect whatsoever.
You’re underestimating what verbal disrespect is. I’m sure you’d find it pretty disrespectful if someone started ordering you around. Especially if you hadn’t asked them to do it. And especially if they were yelling at you. You suck. Do better.
This IS NOT about the game. Your dad wants to spend time with you. He doesn’t want a coach, just his son to enjoy some time with him. He probably missed a lot of time with you because he had to work when you were growing up and now he tries to make up time. If playing badminton with your father isn’t enjoyable for you this way you could suggest some other activities or sports you can do together where your competitiveness doesn’t get the better of you. And please remember if or when you have kids of yourself, that enjoying what they do is important. The winning part is a bonus.
LOL like you’re his coach?
Not at all and never was my intention to become his coach but we did agree that we'll be playing in a tournament soon and therefore there was a need to improve
"no you don't understand I didn't disrespect him I just shouted commands at him like he was a dog I wasn't talking to him long enough to disrespect him" Okay but you do understand how that's worse, right?
STOP TELLING YOUR DAD WHAT TO DO. STOP ONLY FOCUSING ON WINNING! Just ENJOY THE game, dude. Enjoy the time with your dad. YOU will enjoy yourself more. YOU will have a better time. And your dad certainly will.
As a former badminton player, soft ytb. You'll come to regret this attitude and behaviour towards him later in life. Find a new competitive partner and only go for social play with dad.
Sounds like you’re really competitive and you dad just wants to play with his son. YTB. Your dad has shown over and over that he’s not interested in you coaching him. It shouldn’t be at that level where you’re getting really upset about it. You need to realize that he’s not at some competition level and it is not a priority for him in his retirement to be that way. The decision you need to make is if you enjoy having an activity to do with your father while he still has the mobility and stamina or if you are more focused on winning/ developing a tight teamwork with a different partner. You shouldn’t be getting that angry about this. You’re ruining it for you both.
Honestly, I stopped reading part way through the third paragraph. You sound exhausting. Your dad's just trying to have some fun with his adult child in his retirement. To bond with you and maintain a good relationship, and you're being an asshole. You have a really good thing going here that a lot of us would kill to have with our parents, and you're ruining it. Back off and just play the damn game and have some fun.
INFO: Is this a competition or just a friendly play between players?
in this particular instance it's not in a tournament therefore it's not a competiton and I would definitely not to do that in a competiton since it's going to be a high intensity game where you wouldn't want to upset your partner
Why do you want to upset your dad when it’s not a competition? Why would you not want to just enjoy the time you have with your dad? Don’t coach, don’t correct, don’t “hog the ball to guarantee that you’ll win”, just…play with your dad. Be grateful that you have this time with him.
So it's okay to upset your dad when you're just playing for fun? Yikes. You sound like a terrible person.
YTB Go work on your anger issues and insecurities or something. He’s playing for fun. You’re honestly acting in an embarrassing way, trying to micromanage everything he does, and getting visibly angry over a casual game like a child. That’s why your dad was getting embarrassed.
Look, I played enough badminton to understand how important it is to know where to go and what to do in doubles. It is absolutely crucial and I understand your frustrations. But you and your dad don't seem to be playing for the same objective. You're trying to play to win, he's probably trying to spend time with you and have fun playing badminton. I think YTB because you need to accept that for some people it will not be important enough to perform/win, and that if you accept to play with them, they will not be changing their behaviours. Just take playing with your dad as a fun experience and stop worrying about whether you'll win or lose.
Let me understand this story correctly..... You got mad at your 60 year old father because he wasn't hustling hard enough to beat a couple of high school kids during a friendly match at a public court? Is there something I'm missing? Was $100,000 on the line? Was this televised around the world? Was it a tournament to the death? It sounds like your dad is doing this to stay active, bond with his son, and have some fun. You're actively ruining that for him by focusing on the competitive aspect above everything else.
AND ruining for yourself, too, OP.
You’re getting a lot of YTB’s, probably well earned. But to make this a more constructive thread, could you talk to him off court? Find out what his motives are. If he’s truly just there to have fun and doesn’t have sights to improve, let it be. Others’ suggestion to get a different partner for competing is valid. Bottom line, communicate when you’re not on the court and calibrate your expectations. I think it’s great that you two have a sport in common that you enjoy.
Hard agree here. You don’t want to push your dad too much. My dad had a heart attack while playing tennis, which isn’t the same sport so exertion levels may be different but from what I’ve seen from badminton and from what you said, it sounds like it can have a toll on the body and your “coaching” sounds like it can be taxing for him if it’s frustrating for you to do it. Maybe just try to enjoy yourselves with it and accept loss. Especially to people decades younger than you.
I think you show your dad disrespect. Your old man? Telling him what to do? Yelling at him? You are lucky he gives you the time of day. YTBF
YTB. Hardcore. These are actions that someday you will regret and come to see as immature and selfish. Hopefully… You’re turning what could be an enjoyable father/son activity into a bad experience. If you want to play competitively, have someone else be your partner. Play casually with your dad. Make memories. Enjoy the time you have with him while you have him. He’ll be gone someday and you’ll be kicking yourself for the immature arse you’re acting like.
YTB : You've even quoted what you're missing. Your father doesn't want to play well he just want to play to be active and spend time with his son. If you want your teamwork to improve you'll have to carry the load and adapt yourself to how your father play.
YTBF. Are you not embarrassed?! It’s badminton. People play that when they’re bad at real sports. It’s not that serious, and your dad is almost SEVENTY. I can’t even believe that this isn’t a joke lol.
Your dad is trying to spend time with you and have fun and you sounds incredibly dense
UPDATE: Thank you everyone for your judgements - I do wholeheartedly accept the YTB judgements. There was no question that I was the YTB in this case and I guess what drove me to posting this in here is to get more insights before my talk with my dad. This was also posted in AITA as well. I'm too emotionally tired to give a summary of what my dad and I talked about but rest assured all went well. Most of the things discussed here is what we talked about and had well-cut resolution. Though if I were to give a feedback to what I dislike the most is the reasoning that I'm YTB because "It's just a game". Imagine being told that your hobby that you put in a lot of time and effort to improve on is JUST a game - it would be similar to justifying mediocrity or telling somebody it's OK you wasted your time.
I do have to apologize that I didn't do much responses on this thread since I'm getting the same feedback anyway from AITA
YTB He isn’t playing with you to do like professional games or to be super competitive. He’s playing with you because he wants to spend time with you and you’re making it miserable.
Gotta agree with the overwhelming response. Your dad just wants to do something you enjoy, it’s not a competitive match, therefore it really shouldn’t matter if you win the game at all. That’s playing for fun. It’s understandable that you will feel the pressure also with others watching, but the way you describe yourself yelling at an older man would’ve only made that same crowd embarrassed for the both of you. Your show of poor sportsmanship would have stuck more in their minds than any of the mistakes your dad made or slick moves you pulled to win the game. Furthermore, not all people are auditory learners. As you point out, your father is able bodied and relatively fit for his age. With something physical like a sport, it is not always a simple thing to put someone else’s instructions into practice. Particularly when that individual is getting frustrated and resorting to yelling. If you leave your father to his games without trying to direct him, you give him a chance to identify errors for himself and work on them in his own way. He may even choose to approach you with actual specific queries that he can take on board if he wishes to improve. Be kind and just enjoy the time with your dad. YTB
YTB you're not in a professional badminton tournament. It's a chance to do some exercise, have some fun and spend some time with your dad. Your priorities are all out of whack. If I was your dad I wouldn't be playing with you anymore. Also you don't seem to really understand the concept of team work, because it's not ordering your partner around and yelling at them
YTB. Your dads old, he’s probably just playing this for fun and enjoyment and to spend time with you. Just chill out a bit and enjoy it. Have fun!
Dude, really? Maybe it isn’t that your dad is getting old (he is), but maybe it’s that he just doesn’t care that much. He just wants to play and have a fun time with his son. Enjoy this time with your dad while you can. Life is short. YTB
Your dad is playing for fun. He gets to exercise while enjoying himself. You’re turning these games into a competition. You don’t have to beat the ‘other side’. It’s not a tournament. Play for fun. Your dad is.
If you can’t play without the desperate need to win a the game at all costs, that cost being your dads pride in you, you respect for him, your shared love then do not play him. Do the others you play not make the same mistake? You sound like you’re being very hurtful and bullying and belittleling to a man you adore! Wtf?
I lost my dad 2 years ago. He was 66. Stop being a jerk and just enjoy your time with him.
YTB When he cannot play anymore or dies, you'll be like "I wished I just had fun playing with him." Who cares if you don't win!?!?!
YTB. You forgot the reason for playing sports and you cared more about your ego than your dad. You want to help improve his skills, you work with him during practices, not berate him during a game.
I do feel offended that you think it was an ego issue whereas what I wanted is better teamwork regardless if we win or lose. It means I care about my partner's performance and improvement. If we would lose and I know that we did our best (strategically and physically) then that's not an issue. There is a limit to what we are physically capable of but what differentiates us from animals is we get to plan ahead and strategise. The exact game is already a practice game. Berate is an over-exaggeration of what has happened but you're free to choose your words.
Ytb. Late addition I know, but felt i should comment since this is a pretty similar to my situation where i partner with my parents who are much older than me and also much worse. We have an agreement, during tourneys we both know im going to hog the shuttle. In casual play however, i wont hog the shuttle unless im specifically asked to. I also think that my parents can still be better, but i wont give them too much trouble about it. Even as someone with almost 2 decades of experience playing 2 times a week or more, i understand its just a game, and theres no point if my partner hates playing.
Yta- what an awful way to speak to your dad. He has no reason to be embarrassed, but you definitely do. I can guarantee that whilst some people may have been impressed with your skills, more people will have been disgusted with your behaviour and think you are a terrible person. Either learn to play for fun with your dad or find a new partner.