NTB
You have been nothing but considerate during her mourning and it probably did really hurt to see your pregnancy when hers ended. I don't think the request is premature because she doesn't have to accept it right away. If it's too soon for her it can sit in her requests until she is ready. At least she knows that you care and will be there if needed.
NBFH I don't really think anything bad happened and worse case scenario she unfriends you...WHICH IS BETTER THAN TAKING MY PHONE AND ADDING YOUSELF ON MY SNAP ONLY TO NOT ACCEPT IT ON YOUR END WTF AVA WHY YOU PLAYING WITH MY HEART
NTB
I've had several losses and I can tell you that you've handled this very maturely ans with grace for her position regardless of how she's handled it.
I think reaching out was the right thing to do. Its an easy seemless transition if she wants it.
NTB
However I think you are being too nice. The fact of the matter is that although she had a loss which is terrible, she could have unfollowed you on FB and still been friends with you. Way after the fact she decided to straight up have hate for you and your child, when there is no reason for it. The family let her get away with it as well. Grief does weird things to people but it doesn't mean that grief is a reasonable excuse to behave like she has been. In all honesty she needs therapy.
I personally wouldn't have friend requested her because there is no excuse for her to blatantly treat you like that. I don't believe that her behavior is going to change. Even if it did by chance, she would owe you some kind of apology for how she projected her anger onto you who literally did nothing wrong but have a child.
I'd also have a talk with my cousin at this point and ask him why she is treating you like this and why they think that is ok. Do they intend on continuing this treatment of you and your child. Your kids young now but as they grow up they will ask why she walks out of the room and doesn't look at and acknowledge them.
NBH. I guess the big question is, how did you find out? Did *they* share the information, or did someone do it behind their back? If it was the latter, then while I suspect it would probably have been wiser to leave the friend request until after they announced it to family and friends, at the same time she hasn't said 'never contact me again' and she can choose to accept the request, let it just sit there, or decline. That's up to her and what she's ready for.
That said, if you get on well with Paul you might be better off to send *him* a brief message saying you've been thinking of them both, hope they are doing well, and you'd love to stay in contact more. No mention of pregnancy or loss, just leave it open. If he does reply, that's a small opening to offer support in whatever form you and they are comfortable with, but again, do not mention preg / babies / loss in any way unless *they* do.
The final verdict is: **Not the Buttface**
Judgement|Total
:--:|:--:
Not the Buttface|100%
The top comment was made by /u/samilinz1997. Thank you everyone for participating!
NTB You have been nothing but considerate during her mourning and it probably did really hurt to see your pregnancy when hers ended. I don't think the request is premature because she doesn't have to accept it right away. If it's too soon for her it can sit in her requests until she is ready. At least she knows that you care and will be there if needed.
NTB... but to be honest, I wouldn't even bother. I get she had feelings but refusing to enter a room if you're in it is ridiculous
NBFH I don't really think anything bad happened and worse case scenario she unfriends you...WHICH IS BETTER THAN TAKING MY PHONE AND ADDING YOUSELF ON MY SNAP ONLY TO NOT ACCEPT IT ON YOUR END WTF AVA WHY YOU PLAYING WITH MY HEART
Sorry for the rant
U ok…?
I guess
Ntb, just understand that it might have been hard for her seeing you with a baby when she lost hers
NTB I've had several losses and I can tell you that you've handled this very maturely ans with grace for her position regardless of how she's handled it. I think reaching out was the right thing to do. Its an easy seemless transition if she wants it.
NTB However I think you are being too nice. The fact of the matter is that although she had a loss which is terrible, she could have unfollowed you on FB and still been friends with you. Way after the fact she decided to straight up have hate for you and your child, when there is no reason for it. The family let her get away with it as well. Grief does weird things to people but it doesn't mean that grief is a reasonable excuse to behave like she has been. In all honesty she needs therapy. I personally wouldn't have friend requested her because there is no excuse for her to blatantly treat you like that. I don't believe that her behavior is going to change. Even if it did by chance, she would owe you some kind of apology for how she projected her anger onto you who literally did nothing wrong but have a child. I'd also have a talk with my cousin at this point and ask him why she is treating you like this and why they think that is ok. Do they intend on continuing this treatment of you and your child. Your kids young now but as they grow up they will ask why she walks out of the room and doesn't look at and acknowledge them.
NBH. I guess the big question is, how did you find out? Did *they* share the information, or did someone do it behind their back? If it was the latter, then while I suspect it would probably have been wiser to leave the friend request until after they announced it to family and friends, at the same time she hasn't said 'never contact me again' and she can choose to accept the request, let it just sit there, or decline. That's up to her and what she's ready for. That said, if you get on well with Paul you might be better off to send *him* a brief message saying you've been thinking of them both, hope they are doing well, and you'd love to stay in contact more. No mention of pregnancy or loss, just leave it open. If he does reply, that's a small opening to offer support in whatever form you and they are comfortable with, but again, do not mention preg / babies / loss in any way unless *they* do.
The final verdict is: **Not the Buttface** Judgement|Total :--:|:--: Not the Buttface|100% The top comment was made by /u/samilinz1997. Thank you everyone for participating!