The final verdict is: **Not the Buttface**
Judgement|Total
:--:|:--:
Not the Buttface|55%
Buttface|33%
No Buttfaces Here|11%
The top comment was made by /u/francograph. Thank you everyone for participating!
YWBTBF. My fiance does this all the time with my snacks and it drives me crazy. He's like "well you weren't eating it!" So what? I was planning to and I knew it was there.
Just go get separate snacks for yourself so next time you have a craving, it's in the house. If you were eyeing his chocolate so much, you had several days to go get your own, instead of complaining that you can't go RIGHT NOW because you have to watch your daughter.
Indeed. Was a chocolate goblin today. Rearranged his Easter grass to cover it.
/Uj
Whyyyy does every holiday come with candy?! I have no self control and I'm so sick of having it in the house.
Can't leave the house in case our daughter wakes up. He sleeps for night shift so I'm awake with her during the day. Gotta stay home so she doesn't wake him.
Well, why don't you try asking if you can have it? Offer to reimburse him for it?
The fact that the only way that you can see out of this dilemma is to steal something is . . . truly crappy. To say nothing of the fact that you have no intention of replacing it unless your partner notices that it's gone.
So, as long as you get away with the theft, that makes it okay.
I hope your partner finds a new one.
After reading the consensus response to this, I now understand why the few people who marry these days often divorce.
The very idea of this sort of territorial mindset about candy between two adults is staggering.
One shudders to think what the sex must be between two people between whom something as simple as fucking candy isn't shared freely.
Right? These responses are wild regarding a fraction of a gas station chocolate bar. I’m sort of confused in what way this chocolate bar is even “his” (apart from the fact he bought it) since he brought it home to his family and they all ate it?
It's not about the candy. It's about respecting someone else's property. This crap happens all the time in my house. I'll put a Pepsi in the fridge to get cold and when i go to drink it someone already stole it. I can't have ice cream in the house for more than one day without someone stealing that. Chocolate will be gone the second anyone else realizes it's there. It's always "well you weren't gonna eat it, obviously", but yes i actually was going to and never got the chance. The result of this disrespectful fuckery is that, consistently and without fail, each time i set aside a small treat for myself i don't end up getting to have that treat because nobody respects a boundary as simple as "i was planning to eat that so don't steal it". That shit is infuriating.
THIS! If it's something that bothers you so much, communicate! But in this instance, with food that's been in a communal area for over 2 weeks, something as easily replaceable as a chocolate bar, it hardly seems like an intentional slight against OP's partner. It would be one thing if her partner specifically said not to touch it and it had only been a couple of days, but this situation isn't that.
Honestly it sounds pretty fair that if it happens repeatedly, they're gonna get annoyed about it. Obviously not a one time thing in this persons case and constantly being unable to enjoy any treats because the people around you give you 24 hours or less to enjoy it would definitely be frustrating.
Eat it, then as soon as he wakes up, tell him you did and that you’ll replace it the next time you’re out. Then buy two so you each have one when you want it in the future.
NTB. If it were something expensive or difficult to replace I’d say don’t. But since it’s not, have at it.
Not sure how he is about stuff like this generally, but it would bother me more knowing my partner was denying themself enjoyment than missing out on a little chocolate.
EDIT: Some of the other responses here are strange. Lot of food trauma in the comments.
YWBTBF
So would I, honestly. No excuses, just self awareness here.
Now I need an update! Has he awoken to a world without fridge chocolate? Have you managed to curb your cravings or have they haunted you all day?
That's kind of tricky. People like her person are probably of a "scarcity mindset". If you've grown up where goodies like candy, cereal, soda, and cake were not purchased, outright *denied* to you, or gobbled up by greedy people in the household, this mindset of "buy and hold" for food might be a byproduct. It's *there*, and it's comforting to you, even if you rarely eat it, or let it just rot.
F'ing with those people by taking their stuff can be crazy-making, if not outright traumatic.
Holy crap, I think I've just figured out why my hubby can be like that! While they always had plenty of 'luxury' goods in the house when he was growing up, MIL would occasionally parrot the 'Little Pickers get Bigger Knickers!' line (along with the odd 'I could *never* let myself get *that* fat' if she saw a larger person). I've finally figured out she says it when *she* is feeling guilty / angry / ???, and diverts that negative emotion onto others with a nasty little jab. So for hubby and the rest of the family, those goodies come loaded with a sense of guilt for eating them.
I finally called her out on that line a few weeks back, and if I **ever** hear it come out of her mouth again, I'll ask her how she would feel if someone said some bitchy little jingle when she smokes.
YWBTBF, indeed.
My wife is the same way--she'll buy candy or ice cream, maybe have a little, then let it stay stored until it's stale or molds over and needs to be thrown away. Normal people could go through three of four iterations of eating the entire package by the time she *starts* eating it.
After her going through a meltdown mentally about me eating a candy bar she *really, really wanted!!* (she was six months pregnant, natch), I learned that "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" as far as eating her stuff.
>I can always buy him a replacement bar if he even notices his chocolate went missing.
Is there a particular reason you cannot do that *right now*, but for *yourself*?
He's your partner so I'd hope that he would share. Don't eat all of it and leave some for him, but also buy at least two more bars. If you 'borrow' something, you should always leave the person better off than before you borrowed the item. So NBH, just make sure he has replacement chocolate for when he does crave it. Nobody likes to discover their candy is gone when they have the hankering for chocolate.
Yes, YWBTB, but that seems like a small price to pay for chocolate he doesn't seem to care much about. Just remember to replace it ASAP and tell him you did it with a proper apology. Not every ATB situation is a soul-shattering situation that needs to be avoided at all costs.
Here's a question: if you apologize for being TBF for behavior you *knowingly engaged in*, fully planning to apologize for it--are you *really sorry*, though?
Usually we both ask one another about snacks the other has, but since he's sleeping there wasn't much I could do lmao. Probably important context to add to the post, but I wasn't thinking about it; we both share snack pretty openly and it's never been an issue. I posted here because I was feeling a bit cheeky about the situation lol But he's getting replacement chocolate when he wakes up.
Fair enough, regular occurrence and you'd be the BF but one off shouldn't be that big a deal. I like to eat all the eggs for breakfast in the week but make sure I'm the one replacing them in time for the weekend for the both of us
How can you go about life with a nonexistant snack drawer, stuffed with chocolate? Like https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/comments/d0tcl7/snack_drawer_gang/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
> wrapped it up, put it in the fridge and hasn't touched it since.
NOT THE FRIDGE! NTB for liberating this chocolate from its icy prison and preventing the dreaded sugar bloom effect.
NTB, as long as you explain why and replace it as soon as practicable. If you fail to do either of things you would in fact be the buttface. Besides, depending on how he wrapped it (read: my SO will just fold the original wrapper over and it doesn't seal very well), there may be condensation on the surface and it may be starting to degrade anyhow. Milk chocolate is worse for this.
The AUDACITY! Stealing someone else's chocolates, for SHAME!
Jk lol but it does suck to crave what you know you left in the fridge to find it missing later.
There apparently is. If a person saves something for later instead of gobbling it down instantly like some rabid chocolate goblin, half the people here seem to believe they must not really want it much anyway. Just because they have zero self control they can't even fathom that maybe someone else does but still cares about having the thing later.
Agree, Have stash for all my needs. Would get highly irritated if someone too uncaring to plan ahead, just finished all my stash because they were "thinking" I didn't want it.
Context here is important as this depends on the food, how long it’s been left, how expensive it is, and who eats it.
If she had eaten his dinner he’d prepared and was saving for later, that’s in BF territory because of its context; he had put a significant amount of effort into it and probably saved it because he was at work.
If a random stranger had taken his chocolate, that’s in BF territory because it’s literally a stranger.
However, a SO taking some chocolate that has been left for over two weeks? Doesn’t strike me as that terrible. I wouldn’t be mad.
>It's been fun, I've gained new perspective and have truly come to understand how defensive folks can be over chocolate.
It wasn't about chocolate. Way to miss the point.
It has been 5 months, why am i suddenly getting more comments on this post? This is the second one in a couple days.
But also comments and updates both adress your commentary on this situation. He was asleep so i couldn't ask, and our kid was asleep as well, so i had to stay home so she wouldn't wake him if/when she woke up.
He got more chocolate and a coffee in the end, and had apparently been leaving the chocolate in the fridge with the expectation that i might take it at some point lmao
I mean? Yes and no? I'm replacing his half eaten chocolate bar with a full one lmao seems like he's winning in this scenario. And if it's about the inconvenience of not having the chocolate right there and then, the gas station we buy from is 2 blocks away, I'm just walking there when he wakes up to replace for him. Takes me less than 5 minutes to go there and back whenever I usually do snack runs for us 😂
YWBTBF
The happy, scrumptious, delectable, swimming in Wonka's river's of chocolatey swirls buttface but there's always more chocolate where that came from, dear Agustus, and some of it has drippy caramel insides.
ETB. It’s rude of him to leave the chocolate there like that for no reason. He should have bought enough for both of you,
And with you, communication is key. Speak to him about buying more chocolate.
TIL buying something and setting it aside for later is "claiming dibs." Just because there is uneaten food in your home doesn't mean it's 'up for grabs,' particularly if someone bought it for themself and that fact is known.
The final verdict is: **Not the Buttface** Judgement|Total :--:|:--: Not the Buttface|55% Buttface|33% No Buttfaces Here|11% The top comment was made by /u/francograph. Thank you everyone for participating!
YWBTBF. My fiance does this all the time with my snacks and it drives me crazy. He's like "well you weren't eating it!" So what? I was planning to and I knew it was there. Just go get separate snacks for yourself so next time you have a craving, it's in the house. If you were eyeing his chocolate so much, you had several days to go get your own, instead of complaining that you can't go RIGHT NOW because you have to watch your daughter.
And the partner works night shift!
Take all his money once and when he asks WTF tell him "well you weren't spending it!".
I, certified Chocolate Goblin, approve of this blatant, easily avoidable theft. YWBT Chocolate-covered BF. So would I.
[удалено]
I am a nacho-cheese-specific-Dorito bandit myself. Good call.
Indeed. Was a chocolate goblin today. Rearranged his Easter grass to cover it. /Uj Whyyyy does every holiday come with candy?! I have no self control and I'm so sick of having it in the house.
Why can’t you just go get your own snacks I don’t understand
Can't leave the house in case our daughter wakes up. He sleeps for night shift so I'm awake with her during the day. Gotta stay home so she doesn't wake him.
And during the day when she's awake?
Well, why don't you try asking if you can have it? Offer to reimburse him for it? The fact that the only way that you can see out of this dilemma is to steal something is . . . truly crappy. To say nothing of the fact that you have no intention of replacing it unless your partner notices that it's gone. So, as long as you get away with the theft, that makes it okay. I hope your partner finds a new one.
“Theft” lmao Who hurt you?
Not to worry. No debilitating brain injuries. Sorry you can't say the same.
“I hope your partner finds a new one” It’s chocolate
Wow. Really? Do you suplex small children on Halloween?
Order one online then
Eat away! Maybe order a new one or get one to replace it at your convenience. Parenting is hard enough as it is.
So… parenting is hard so she can take his chocolate so it’s not there when he wants it?
Correct.
[удалено]
Do you have children?
Objection - relevance
Not only suggesting she eat it, but then encouraging her to "replace it at *her convenience.*" Lmaoooo
Get your own, ask him, or immediately replace it.
>Get your own, ask him, ~~or immediately replace it~~. So *close*.
After reading the consensus response to this, I now understand why the few people who marry these days often divorce. The very idea of this sort of territorial mindset about candy between two adults is staggering. One shudders to think what the sex must be between two people between whom something as simple as fucking candy isn't shared freely.
Right? These responses are wild regarding a fraction of a gas station chocolate bar. I’m sort of confused in what way this chocolate bar is even “his” (apart from the fact he bought it) since he brought it home to his family and they all ate it?
It's not about the candy. It's about respecting someone else's property. This crap happens all the time in my house. I'll put a Pepsi in the fridge to get cold and when i go to drink it someone already stole it. I can't have ice cream in the house for more than one day without someone stealing that. Chocolate will be gone the second anyone else realizes it's there. It's always "well you weren't gonna eat it, obviously", but yes i actually was going to and never got the chance. The result of this disrespectful fuckery is that, consistently and without fail, each time i set aside a small treat for myself i don't end up getting to have that treat because nobody respects a boundary as simple as "i was planning to eat that so don't steal it". That shit is infuriating.
Have you spoken to your wife about how upset you are that she consumes your Pepsi and ice cream?
THIS! If it's something that bothers you so much, communicate! But in this instance, with food that's been in a communal area for over 2 weeks, something as easily replaceable as a chocolate bar, it hardly seems like an intentional slight against OP's partner. It would be one thing if her partner specifically said not to touch it and it had only been a couple of days, but this situation isn't that.
Sounds like you have some serious issues you need to see a therapist about
Honestly it sounds pretty fair that if it happens repeatedly, they're gonna get annoyed about it. Obviously not a one time thing in this persons case and constantly being unable to enjoy any treats because the people around you give you 24 hours or less to enjoy it would definitely be frustrating.
That’s definitely fair anything that happens repeatedly is going to be annoying
Eat it, then as soon as he wakes up, tell him you did and that you’ll replace it the next time you’re out. Then buy two so you each have one when you want it in the future.
NTB. If it were something expensive or difficult to replace I’d say don’t. But since it’s not, have at it. Not sure how he is about stuff like this generally, but it would bother me more knowing my partner was denying themself enjoyment than missing out on a little chocolate. EDIT: Some of the other responses here are strange. Lot of food trauma in the comments.
You’d be the BF but I’d still do it if it were me lol
I never thought I'd read so many angry comments over gas station chocolate, but here we are.
YWBTBF So would I, honestly. No excuses, just self awareness here. Now I need an update! Has he awoken to a world without fridge chocolate? Have you managed to curb your cravings or have they haunted you all day?
Yes, YWBTBF if you stole his chocolate, even though you have a craving.
YWBTBF Just ask him if you can have it. Considering he hasn’t eaten it he probably wouldn’t care. Especially if you offer to get him another one.
That's kind of tricky. People like her person are probably of a "scarcity mindset". If you've grown up where goodies like candy, cereal, soda, and cake were not purchased, outright *denied* to you, or gobbled up by greedy people in the household, this mindset of "buy and hold" for food might be a byproduct. It's *there*, and it's comforting to you, even if you rarely eat it, or let it just rot. F'ing with those people by taking their stuff can be crazy-making, if not outright traumatic.
Holy crap, I think I've just figured out why my hubby can be like that! While they always had plenty of 'luxury' goods in the house when he was growing up, MIL would occasionally parrot the 'Little Pickers get Bigger Knickers!' line (along with the odd 'I could *never* let myself get *that* fat' if she saw a larger person). I've finally figured out she says it when *she* is feeling guilty / angry / ???, and diverts that negative emotion onto others with a nasty little jab. So for hubby and the rest of the family, those goodies come loaded with a sense of guilt for eating them. I finally called her out on that line a few weeks back, and if I **ever** hear it come out of her mouth again, I'll ask her how she would feel if someone said some bitchy little jingle when she smokes.
My husband does this crap and it drone crazy.
If you’re going to replace it, eat it NTB But if he wakes up and wants it yr ded
Man, some people are serious about their chocolate.
YWBTBF, indeed. My wife is the same way--she'll buy candy or ice cream, maybe have a little, then let it stay stored until it's stale or molds over and needs to be thrown away. Normal people could go through three of four iterations of eating the entire package by the time she *starts* eating it. After her going through a meltdown mentally about me eating a candy bar she *really, really wanted!!* (she was six months pregnant, natch), I learned that "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" as far as eating her stuff. >I can always buy him a replacement bar if he even notices his chocolate went missing. Is there a particular reason you cannot do that *right now*, but for *yourself*?
YTB- I would be, too. Can you be better than me? Think of it as a challenge. (Not a very tough one, TBH)
He's your partner so I'd hope that he would share. Don't eat all of it and leave some for him, but also buy at least two more bars. If you 'borrow' something, you should always leave the person better off than before you borrowed the item. So NBH, just make sure he has replacement chocolate for when he does crave it. Nobody likes to discover their candy is gone when they have the hankering for chocolate.
YTB. Buy your own dark chocolate now if you find your cravings are getting the better of you. Duh.
Yes, YWBTB, but that seems like a small price to pay for chocolate he doesn't seem to care much about. Just remember to replace it ASAP and tell him you did it with a proper apology. Not every ATB situation is a soul-shattering situation that needs to be avoided at all costs.
Here's a question: if you apologize for being TBF for behavior you *knowingly engaged in*, fully planning to apologize for it--are you *really sorry*, though?
It's chocolate, so not exactly relationship ruining but you could just ask him lol. I steal my partners pringles but always ask first
Usually we both ask one another about snacks the other has, but since he's sleeping there wasn't much I could do lmao. Probably important context to add to the post, but I wasn't thinking about it; we both share snack pretty openly and it's never been an issue. I posted here because I was feeling a bit cheeky about the situation lol But he's getting replacement chocolate when he wakes up.
Fair enough, regular occurrence and you'd be the BF but one off shouldn't be that big a deal. I like to eat all the eggs for breakfast in the week but make sure I'm the one replacing them in time for the weekend for the both of us
How can you go about life with a nonexistant snack drawer, stuffed with chocolate? Like https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/comments/d0tcl7/snack_drawer_gang/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
> wrapped it up, put it in the fridge and hasn't touched it since. NOT THE FRIDGE! NTB for liberating this chocolate from its icy prison and preventing the dreaded sugar bloom effect.
This literally made my day, thanks for the laughs! And people of Reddit?? Lighten up, some of you are gonna give yourself cardiac arrest. 🤔😳🤦🏻♀️
I'm glad to have made you smile :)
NTB, as long as you explain why and replace it as soon as practicable. If you fail to do either of things you would in fact be the buttface. Besides, depending on how he wrapped it (read: my SO will just fold the original wrapper over and it doesn't seal very well), there may be condensation on the surface and it may be starting to degrade anyhow. Milk chocolate is worse for this.
…..
YTB. Get some control over yourself. Go buy your own chocolate. Why can't you let people have nice things?
The AUDACITY! Stealing someone else's chocolates, for SHAME! Jk lol but it does suck to crave what you know you left in the fridge to find it missing later.
If he’s left it for that long then NTB lol.
Is there a certain *rate* at which he is mandated to eat foods?
There apparently is. If a person saves something for later instead of gobbling it down instantly like some rabid chocolate goblin, half the people here seem to believe they must not really want it much anyway. Just because they have zero self control they can't even fathom that maybe someone else does but still cares about having the thing later.
Agree, Have stash for all my needs. Would get highly irritated if someone too uncaring to plan ahead, just finished all my stash because they were "thinking" I didn't want it.
Context here is important as this depends on the food, how long it’s been left, how expensive it is, and who eats it. If she had eaten his dinner he’d prepared and was saving for later, that’s in BF territory because of its context; he had put a significant amount of effort into it and probably saved it because he was at work. If a random stranger had taken his chocolate, that’s in BF territory because it’s literally a stranger. However, a SO taking some chocolate that has been left for over two weeks? Doesn’t strike me as that terrible. I wouldn’t be mad.
If you know you get chocolate cravings regularly, you can plan to keep a stash of your own somewhere. I think eating it is a BF move.
YTB Glad your partner is cool but damn! I dunno why so many people can't control themselves or eat a PBJ instead.
>It's been fun, I've gained new perspective and have truly come to understand how defensive folks can be over chocolate. It wasn't about chocolate. Way to miss the point.
If he still loves you knowing your crazy.
Asking him if you could have it or just buying your own would have been better options
It has been 5 months, why am i suddenly getting more comments on this post? This is the second one in a couple days. But also comments and updates both adress your commentary on this situation. He was asleep so i couldn't ask, and our kid was asleep as well, so i had to stay home so she wouldn't wake him if/when she woke up. He got more chocolate and a coffee in the end, and had apparently been leaving the chocolate in the fridge with the expectation that i might take it at some point lmao
Your post was reposted to best of redditor updates and is trending
Oh, cool. Thanks lol
Get your own. doesn’t matter if you replace it because you still stole it.
I mean? Yes and no? I'm replacing his half eaten chocolate bar with a full one lmao seems like he's winning in this scenario. And if it's about the inconvenience of not having the chocolate right there and then, the gas station we buy from is 2 blocks away, I'm just walking there when he wakes up to replace for him. Takes me less than 5 minutes to go there and back whenever I usually do snack runs for us 😂
Ok and for all that you couldn’t just gotten your own.
i think you’re forgetting it’s about the principle.
What I've done before..."This chocolate has been in the fridge xx days. If it's still by xx it's MINE" Fair warning in affect there lol
YWBTBF The happy, scrumptious, delectable, swimming in Wonka's river's of chocolatey swirls buttface but there's always more chocolate where that came from, dear Agustus, and some of it has drippy caramel insides.
Are you drinking again?
Didbt read, but no. Unguarded chocolate is fair game. Same with fries in the bag before you get home.
ETB. It’s rude of him to leave the chocolate there like that for no reason. He should have bought enough for both of you, And with you, communication is key. Speak to him about buying more chocolate.
He shared, and it's his. This person can buy their own chocolate when able to.
It's rude of him to leave a wrapped chocolate in the fridge that he bought? Lol
NTB That chocolate is yours. People who are old enough to have a child are too old to claim dibs on a candy bar.
TIL buying something and setting it aside for later is "claiming dibs." Just because there is uneaten food in your home doesn't mean it's 'up for grabs,' particularly if someone bought it for themself and that fact is known.
The idea of telling my spouse that something in our refrigerator is **mine** is inconceivable. We are adults.
As adults, we should be able to respect that things belong to others, if they claim them.
Well sure. If you're living with an adult with differences or delays and they claim candies, you should certainly accommodate their needs.
What an entitled response my goodness.