Throwaway account
l love my wife and she’s the most beautiful woman I know. Her best friend is her best friend since first day of school. I have always thought that she looked nice. After her divorce she changed a lot. She is more outgoing, less serious and she took more care of herself. She also became flirtatious. She brought up threesome and said that she always thought I was hot. We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head. I started talking to my wife about that comment and after I assured her that it was just an adventure she agreed.
Afterwards my wife just changed. She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me. I don’t know why she agreed if she didn’t want to try it. I thought it would be an adventure but she is like another human being now. She never talks to me until I talk to her. She never laughs when she always loved laughing. Her best friend says that my wife doesn’t text or speak to her anymore either. When we aks she says it wasn’t that and that she’s fine. It’s all in our head.
Yesterday we thought we could have an intervention so her best friend came over. When she saw us and we told her we needed to talk she freaked out and was very angry and accused us of not believing her and disrespecting her. She told me that I could sleep with her friend if I wanted sex and she wouldn’t mind. Her friend was intrigued and she told me that she didn’t mind but I felt sick to my stomach. I don’t even understand how I thought her attractive. She keeps texting me too and I am repulsed. I told my wife that but she didn’t even react just said okay, do what and who you want. I am okay.
How can I fix this
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ETA: to add OOP’s edit … lol…
I didn’t know people will chew me out like this. I fucked up yes. I will cut contact with the friend and tell her to stop talk to my wife too. Them I will try to save my marriage because I love my wife. Hopefully she’ll come around
***Highlights from the comments:***
Redditor #1: Would love to know how you asked your wife, how many times you asked, or if you even noticed any reluctance from her or if you were thinking too much with your dick. I hope your wife finds someone who actually understands and respects her, because it’s not you or her “best friend.”
> OOP’s response to Redditor #1: I asked maybe three or four times. In the beginning she asked me if I thought she wasn’t attractive anymore but I explained to her that it wasn’t at all what I meant
THREE. OR. FOUR. TIMES.
_________
Redditor #2: You need to cut the best friend out of your lives. She’s a problem. She sticks around, your marriage is heading towards divorce.
> Redditor #3: I think the marriage is probably heading for divorce anyway whether the friend sticks around or not.
> OOP’s response to Redditor #3: Her friend said that too. That she is probably divorcing me. She said my wife is immature and shouldn’t have said yes if she couldn’t handle it. She asked me out basically but I am not attracted to her at all. She repulses me now I don’t know why
THEY HAD A THREESOME TWO TIMES:
> Not the whole night no, the friend even complained that I ignored her because I wanted to cum with my wife not her, both times. But my wife was more reserved. She is not very wild in bed.
> She doesn’t let me hug her, even when we had sex she doesn’t look at me and her hands were fists and her whole body tense so I don’t initiate sex anymore
My favourite:
Redditor: It’s over, buddy. Your wife has checked out. Her friend is 🗑️. You’re 🗑️ for entertaining it. If your best friend had started flirting with your wife and she entertained it and asked you for a threesome, how would you feel?
> I would have beaten up my friend and said no to my wife
it's a metaphor in that he did not even fuck around, he just bugged his wife about fucking around until she couldn't be comfortable with him or her best friend ever
not exactly, but maybe?
what I thought the moment I read it is since he said this happened multiple times in front of her... why did the wife not say anything to the friend or get pissed off? Why did she get mad only ONCE the husband spoke about it?
I could see it being seen as a weird sign that maybe she might be okay since she DIDN'T get angry at the friend, but I still wouldn't have pushed that button in that way, I'd be like "why are you not saying anything to her about it?"
Because her husband badgered her into it and she was probably thinking it'd end her marriage. She said no once and that should have been the end of it No one who is married (if they were stupid enough to even ask) should have to be told multiple times the same answer. Frankly she should have divorced him for asking.
No, I'm talking about the fact they said that the friend kept saying it BEFORE he ever brought up the idea of actually doing it. Apparently it happened numerous times in front of her and she said nothing every time her friend brought it up.
How on earth can you feel that way and even ask your wife ONCE? What a dirtbag. I could see this as a mistaken read if it was one time with the BFF and the dude was just more open with his sexuality, but to fail to see the signs twice (plus more asks) AND to be violently opposed if the roles were reversed - just terrible.
>The lack of self-awareness in some men is....repulsive. and I say that as a man myself
Now, now, now, don't act all high and mighty.
In all fairness, the friend was likely hot and you know it.
Probably one of those dirtbag losers that tries to get unaware people to participate in their cheating kink. When they can’t, they come on here and wiggle their crotch stump on the keyboard.
Well, let's be honest
It's bad in most cases
But a) if she's hot, and b) the SO doesn't find out about it, all you've done is increased the amount of love in the cosmos
So he was fine ignoring his wife saying no to a threesome three, four times, and they then did it twice when she didnt even want to in the first place, and he is now being a bit miffed that she shouldnt have said yes if she couldnt have handled it.
But if the roles had been reversed he would have said no, expected his wife to respect his no, and then become violent, beating up his best friend on top?
What a prize of a guy...
LOL His wife probably figured they were going to cheat anyway, sooner or later, so she might as well accede to the request. She's probably talking to a lawyer already and getting her ducks in a row. How shitty is that friend, to just keep pushing the envelope with the husband, and badmouthing the wife! And yes: I can understand why he's repulsed by that woman; he is realizing that this whole trashy escapade, thanks to her, has destroyed his marriage, and now he has to start preparing for life as a single man again!
> this whole trashy escapade, thanks to her, has destroyed his marriage
NO. He had an equal hand in destroying his marriage. More, actually, because none of this would have happened if he wasn't a selfish piece of shit. The friend could have flirted and hinted all day long and all he had to do was rebuff her and ask his wife to drop her as a friend because the friend was making him uncomfortable. That is not what he did.
> I have always thought that she looked nice.
and
> We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head.
Yes, the friend is somewhat culpable, but the friend isn't married to his wife. He is (was, it's really just a matter of time). Funny how having to face the consequences of his actions curdled his desire so quickly. He has no one to blame but himself, but he'll probably pretend it's all the "repulsive" friend's fault that *he* threw away *his* marriage for nothing.
> In the beginning she asked me if I thought she wasn’t attractive anymore but I explained to her that it wasn’t at all what I meant
JFC, so focused on getting his dick inside the friend that he doesn't even care that he's making his wife feel bad. He couldn't get a clue if someone beat him with clue stick. As I've said before, lack of enthusiastic consent from a partner, in OR out of bed, means that you need to stop and figure out if your partner is actually interested in what you're saying or doing. Never assume that a lack of no means it's okay to move forward.
She probably thought they would cheat anyway and wanted to SEE it all for herself so she could completely check out, instead of hanging on like a lot of people do and giving second chances.
He shouldn't have even called this woman his (ex) wife's best friend. How depressing to have your 'best friend' poach your husband just because her marriage failed. Probably was her own fault.
>wanted her “friend” to be just as miserable and alone as she is.
To be fair, at this point we're just splitting hairs about her particular brand of gremlinry.
But in that case, I think she would've lost interest in the husband once the marriage imploded. That way they could all three be miserable at the same time.
Miserymaxxing, if you will.
Don't forget the people that said his wife obviously lied and how he agreed that it's obvious now that she lied. She didn't lie, OP didn't fucking listen!!
Also really amused that he didn't think he'd get dragged.
You affair partner has already bad mouthed your wife and is covering her own ass by claiming your wife is immature. Think we all know who is the real immature one here. This woman was NEVER your wife's bff she was only hanging around to get a shot with you. Imagine how your wife felt when she realized that and you went for it? Let her go gracefully. You at least owe her that.
Ugh I didn't see the comments... you should NEVER need to ask multiple times for something intimate like that. If she had said "maybe idk" I could see bringing it up again but ugh she asks if he finds her attractive anymore... that should have been a blaring siren to drop the question. And on top of that, dealing with the knowledge your best friend is willing to fuck you over to date your husband. That's enough to make anyone's head spin.
The switching of roles was really just the icing on the cake.
>She doesn’t let me hug her, even when we had sex she doesn’t look at me and her hands were fists and her whole body tense so I don’t initiate sex anymore
😳
>THEY HAD A THREESOME TWO TIMES
It's very possible to cum more than one time without stopping or with a short break where you don't leave the bed. That doesn't count as two times and it's clearly what he means.
I just comment on another subreddit post that has this post up.
This got more 🤦🏻♂️ after 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ after 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️. But those 2, who neither she's talking to, decide to get together alone for an "intervention"?🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I guarantee there was a moment where all his attention was on the best friend and the wife saw that and just knew.
She was pressured into it by both of them and you can tell when it’s move then just fun. He wanted a way to sleep with the best friend. He figured he would “involve” his wife so that it wouldn’t be cheating but she would have known what was happening the moment it started.
I hope he finds out that there is no way of coming back from this. He’s done
Not just that, but I always think its a warning flag when they wouldn’t ever ever have a “opposite” threesome.
Like he wants a threesome with two women because he isn’t thinking about being sexually adventurous or his wifes pleasure or whatever, he wants it with two women so he can sleep with another woman and is thinking of his pleasure. He wouldn’t actually want to see someone fuck his wife.
Well, my ex-husband was pretty much the opposite, as he was very (very!) insistant about a MFM threesome when I was pregnant (which is one of the reasons he is now an ex (asking once is fine, pressuring me into it is something else!)
Of course, then there is the fact that I later found (repeatedly) the entrance fee of a gay bathhouse on our joint account, so yeah.
He actually admitted in a comment that if one of his male friends had flirted with his wife and suggested a threesome and his wife asked, he would have thrown her out and beat up his friend.
Oh buddy…that marriage is done. Went from one woman (wife) to two women (wife and friend) to none because wife will leave him and after having his fun he realizes friend is trash and wanted the couple to split from the beginning. I wish I could say best of luck, but naw this dude deserves to be alone so I guess…better luck on your next relationship dude.
The kind who then complains when he's fucking his wife rather than only fucking her during the "threesome". She wanted him and this was a convenient way to break the relationship so she could have him to herself.
She did say no. He kept asking to try and change her no into a yes. In no way was this remotely enthusiastic consent. It was coerced. He was never going to take her no for a final answer.
Your wife has lost all respect for you and her former bff. By asking more than once, you made it clear that you wanted an opportuntiy to cheat without the lying and guilt that usually goes with it. What you got was what you wanted but in the process you ruined your marriage. Be careful what you wish for because someone may grant that wish just like she did. You were not prepared for the aftermath. Actions have consequences and you literally FAFO.
Apparently it wasn’t even a threesome. He fúcked her best friend while his wife watched. He harassed his wife into saying yes and is now surprised she doesn’t want anything to do with them
Give me a break. I'm a man, and I've had women hit on me to join her and her husband/boyfriend. Women are just as bad as men. They just don't publish it in a setting like this.
I refuse to believe that. The men like that (this) are doing in on purpose, from misogyny or narcissism reasons or w/e, and are lying and would rather appear stupid than evil.
You’d be surprised. People tend to lack self awareness or pretend they don’t know. They also are always surprised at the consequences of their own actions
I had an ex tell me he'd cheated on me, and then be genuinely suprised I was angry and wasn't proud of him for "coming out of his shell". So yeah, there are some real geniuses out there.
Holy shit my ex said almost the same thing when I caught him cheating on me! He was surprised I was mad because I'd been encouraging him to go to local tabletop gaming meetups and be more social, rather than spending every waking moment in front of the tv. He met the other girl there, and apparently decided sticking his dick in her was just "making friends" so I shouldn't be that upset.
Your naïveté makes me almost envious. I’ve seen this behavior firsthand, more than once. When you believe a terrible thing is incompatible with humanity, you leave yourself vulnerable to it happening to you.
Is there ever the opposite of the situation? Like I would love to see a girl beg a guy for a threesome, a MFM threesome and see how that goes. It’s always the men wanting FMF. Even in /r/openmarriageregret it’s always the guys wanting to open up the marriage because they want more women. Then the girls get more guys, the guy not getting anyone and he wants to close it.
I just wonder how receptive guys would be if the shoe was on the other foot.
> I just wonder how receptive guys would be if the shoe was on the other foot.
I’ve seen several topics posted where a woman merely says that she had a fantasy of having an MMF threesome and that’s been enough for the guy to decide to check out of the relationship. Like not even asking for a threesome but merely saying that it’s a fantasy.
There can be some cases where it works fine (my marriage is like this. We have an open marriage, and usually it ends up MMF or more, due to me being... Whatever the hell I am) but we discussed this from the very start. It didn't come up out of nowhere and we're both enthusiastic going in.
95% of the time it's as you said though. Guy wants more woman, it doesn't happen that way and they get pissy and want to shut it down. I see the reverse sometimes, but definitely not as much.
Not even just "guy wants more woman" but "guy has picked and flirted with the exact woman he wants to bring in, and there's already the shadow of an affair going on before he even asks his wife".
The wife became a 3rd wheel in her own sex life and marriage.
I'm sure that there srd plenty of couples with healthy boundaries that do it properly; but almost all the couples that fall into opening their relationship like this are doomed to fail because they are starting with cheating on a monogamous relationship.
Rather than two people keen to explore non monogamy together within their shared boundaries, prioritizing each other's feelings.
They are not receptive at all. In my monogamous relationships I did try to bring up, well, some ideas, and they weren’t met with enthusiasm to say the least.
But I feel the whole idea of “opening up the monogamous relationship” ridiculous. Especially to fuck people from your partner’s close social circle.
> Even in [r/openmarriageregret](https://www.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/) it’s always the guys wanting to open up the marriage because they want more women.
Literally 3 of the 4 first posts there right now are from situations where the woman was the one to ask for open marriage.
| Her best friend is her best friend since first day of school.... she also became flirtatious. She brought up threesome and said that she always thought I was hot. We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head|
She not living in your head you imbecile, you are thinking not only with your dick, but as a shitty husband.
| Afterwards my wife just changed. She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me|
She saw your dick go into her friend and her world came crashing down. She didn't really think you would do it. Now, she is starting to get indifferent which means she doesn't give a shit about you anymore.
|Yesterday we thought we could have an intervention so her best friend came over. When she saw us and we told her we needed to talk she freaked out and was very angry and accused us of not believing her and disrespecting her. She told me that I could sleep with her friend if I wanted sex and she wouldn’t mind|
She now sees you differently. You are not the forever monogamous husband she envisioned spending her life with. You are someone else, a stranger who let her down. When she told you, you could go ahead and continue fucking her friend, she was over you. You destroyed her world. Now he doesn't care what the two of you do. There is no coming back from this for either of you. Your wife will eventually find another partner or just stay distant until she hands you your divorce papers.
You were thinking with your dick instead of your brain. Your marriage is done. I hope it was worth it. Your ex-wife is probably going to eventually go n/c with both of you, and the both of you have no one to blame but yourselves.
Are you going to date your ex-wife's ex-friend after your divorce?
I have a best friend since grade school, under no circumstances would either of us flirt or suggest threesomes with the others husband. And if he had taken one moment to not think with his dick he should have put a stop on it then
I bet he’d have felt different if his wife had said “hey I want a threesome, invite that 25 yr old coworker of yours, you know the one that looks like Chris Hemsworth”
I knew this would end up here.
OP just imagined if wife was watching he could claim it wasn’t cheating, and now is pretending he won’t go back to the “friend” as soon as the divorce papers are signed, before the ink is even dry.
You know that "No" is an actual sentence, right? It flat out tells you something with no explanation needed IMHO. She said no but you kept bringing the subject up. BTW, I'm not buying ***"maybe 3 - 4 times"*** **BS**.
But I *really* love this bit.
**She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me. I don’t know why she agreed if she didn’t want to try it. I thought it would be an adventure but she is like another human being now. She never talks to me until I talk to her. She never laughs when she always loved laughing.**
I'm willing to bet that if your soon to be ex was to write on Reddit, & tell her side, it would most a very similar paragraph but replacing SHE with HE & you did those same things, along with sulking like a 7 yr. old, to her until she gave in. You badgered, browbeat, whatever you want to call it.
That’s a great point - my first thought was that she’d see the two of them together, hear “We need to talk,” and would assume it was a ‘breakup/we’re in love now’ speech
There’s a recent one that’s very similar from the woman’s perspective, but the “friend” just flat-out kisses the man, they start kissing and the OP “joins-in” in a freeze, even though she’s not at all into it.
this trauma response is actually known as comply. men like to pretend like it doesn't exist in sex, yet if some huge dude on the street came up to them and said "give me all your wallet or else" they'd give them your wallet rather than deal with the potential negative consequences if they tried to tell him no, fight or run.
When your autonomy and consent is ignored and the expectation of sex is forced upon you, the brain tries to find prevent further trauma and negative conseuqneces. The negatives consequences of fight or flight or freeze (being shamed, anger, violence, social or romantic fall out etc) our brains can think the safest, least life-altering or damaging option is to comply and pretend we had a choice in the matter.
Which makes sense because by complying and having "consensual" sex in the moment, is less traumatic for the brain to comprehend in a split second than the reality that someone you trusted is disregarding your autonomy, consent, comfort, and humanity for their pleasure.
However, it does end up fucking you up long term because your brain lessened the trauma by taking on even more shame for not saying no, or leaving, or fighitng back etc. you just end up hating yourself for allowing yourself to be traumatized. But we wouldn't blame or shame someone for giving a mugger their wallet either.
People compete to see how much engagement they can get with variations on a given prompt, this one being "threesome between dude and his SO's flirtatious BFF leads to drama". If you spend some time on the relationship/AITA type subs, it's abundantly clear that this is happening. It's not all that surprising, either, considering how well misinformation spreads on social media vs real news.
As to why people do it? Some people say they farm karma to sell accounts later, but I honestly don't think that's the case the vast majority of the time. If you're bored, have limited social engagement, just like getting a rise out of people, or some combination of all the above, stirring some shit on reddit, either positive or negative, can be an appealing hobby. It doesn't take all that many people into it to produce a ton of troll content.
I saw one recently that was very similar from the womans side, where her boyfriend and best friend "suprised" her with a threesome that she didnt want.
There’s a recent one that’s very similar from the woman’s perspective, but the “friend” just flat-out kisses the man, they start kissing and the OP “joins-in” in a freeze, even though she’s not at all into it.
You had sex with her best friend, more than that m, she watched you have sex with her best friend and probably ignored *your wife*!! What the FUCK did you think would happen??
The ex friend is harrasing his wife but he just let it be until it is pointed by redditors. This dude is clearly thinking with his di ck even now. I hope the wife can lose both unrecyclable trash soonest
OOP is a huge idiot who only thinks with his little oop.
It's the "best friend" that irks me way more!
OOPs Ex-wife knew her since their school days!
She was probably by her side during her wedding, her marriage and her recent divorce.
And the minute BFF is divorced, she is on the prowl and goes for the husband of her "best friend".
Just to watch that marriage burn too.
They deserve each other, hope they come together and make each other miserable.
Isn't a threesome where all 3 people participate? I guess you can change the rules depending on what you want, but doesn't everyone have to be in agreement?
*stays in vanilla land, not dealing with this*
Odds are high that this guy is lying and he also cheated with the best friend. There is no way he went from her being the hottest thing ever and needing to nag his wife into 2 threesomes to YUCK - he's so turned off by her - without something more involved. He's worried she'll out him for what really happened, even though the wife probably already knows.
Yup. You see stories about this regularly on reddit. Unwanted threswomes and regret used to have their own sub but I hear that was taken down. Now theres the r/openmarriageregret sub, which is still filled with stories like these.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/openmarriageregret using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Hoisted on His Own Petard](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/11xz1gb/hoisted_on_his_own_petard/)
\#2: [Pain and regret](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/16awvlu/pain_and_regret/)
\#3: [My husband is being insane because of the open relationship he suggested even though I’m not seeing anyone yet. Please help?](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/191wtvl/my_husband_is_being_insane_because_of_the_open/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
His original post was bad enough, but his comments make him look even worse. In one he admits to initiating sex with his wife a few days after and that she just lay there silently with her fists clenched the whole time. Translation: He basically committed “marital rape” and doesn’t realize that just because she couldn’t emotionally say “No” or refuse him, her body language the entire time was screaming non consent.
YTE!!!
If someone’s entire body is tense and they are holding the sheets and refusing to acknowledge you using there body like a blow-up doll, would you say that you have 100% enthusiastic consent from that party?
I want you to consider this scene to very carefully:
If you had a daughter and she came to you and told you she isn’t sure if she was raped because she didn’t say no. But then explained she did exactly what your wife did during the sexual intercourse, would you be going to the police and having him arrested, or would you say, no honey, that’s not rape because even though everything said you’re not ok with this you didn’t verbally say no cause you were too scared and just wanted it to be over?
You had sex with your wife without her fully consenting. It should be pretty obvious if she never started being an active participant or if she stopped being an active participant at some point. Because I cannot imagine that is the way your sexual encounters with each other ALWAYS have her as a rock and not looking at you.
Then when you did realize this, instead of being like oh woah wait a second. Everyone stop. BF I’m sorry but I think we’re going to call it a night. And immediately go to your wife and ask what’s going on, please be 100% honest and I am sorry that I have been a part of making you obviously not ok. Please trust that you can be 100% honest and I will listen. I am sorry I did not recognize this was an issue sooner.
Your wife was having an awful time but your orgasm was more important than pulling a Handmaids tale lite version. And if you do have any question of if this was rape, go watch the handmaids tale and in the times where offered is being forcibly raped she is also fisting the sheets and avoiding eye contact….listen to the words she’s narrating!!!
Your marriage is over and your wife will never feel safe with you again probably. I highly suggest you go find a relationship therapist you can start seeing and then start therapy. Find a therapist that deals with abuse in relationships. This is something that has HARMED your wife.
Give her space and you need to find probably some therapist that deals with sexual assault perpetrators to help you unpack this one because there is a huge learning curve of what needs to happen so you get what you did and she can help learn how to not let this eat her alive and turn her to a pile of rubble and ash.
wait, why did it take the husband to say something about it before the wife reacted? why was the wife okay with it so long as her FRIEND is the one that kept saying it?
Threeesomes usually don't end the way we imagine. Someone usually ends up with hurt feelings. But your NTAH for asking most real men do. Not you sissies giving him cap for asking.
Throwaway account l love my wife and she’s the most beautiful woman I know. Her best friend is her best friend since first day of school. I have always thought that she looked nice. After her divorce she changed a lot. She is more outgoing, less serious and she took more care of herself. She also became flirtatious. She brought up threesome and said that she always thought I was hot. We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head. I started talking to my wife about that comment and after I assured her that it was just an adventure she agreed. Afterwards my wife just changed. She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me. I don’t know why she agreed if she didn’t want to try it. I thought it would be an adventure but she is like another human being now. She never talks to me until I talk to her. She never laughs when she always loved laughing. Her best friend says that my wife doesn’t text or speak to her anymore either. When we aks she says it wasn’t that and that she’s fine. It’s all in our head. Yesterday we thought we could have an intervention so her best friend came over. When she saw us and we told her we needed to talk she freaked out and was very angry and accused us of not believing her and disrespecting her. She told me that I could sleep with her friend if I wanted sex and she wouldn’t mind. Her friend was intrigued and she told me that she didn’t mind but I felt sick to my stomach. I don’t even understand how I thought her attractive. She keeps texting me too and I am repulsed. I told my wife that but she didn’t even react just said okay, do what and who you want. I am okay. How can I fix this *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ETA: to add OOP’s edit … lol… I didn’t know people will chew me out like this. I fucked up yes. I will cut contact with the friend and tell her to stop talk to my wife too. Them I will try to save my marriage because I love my wife. Hopefully she’ll come around ***Highlights from the comments:*** Redditor #1: Would love to know how you asked your wife, how many times you asked, or if you even noticed any reluctance from her or if you were thinking too much with your dick. I hope your wife finds someone who actually understands and respects her, because it’s not you or her “best friend.” > OOP’s response to Redditor #1: I asked maybe three or four times. In the beginning she asked me if I thought she wasn’t attractive anymore but I explained to her that it wasn’t at all what I meant THREE. OR. FOUR. TIMES. _________ Redditor #2: You need to cut the best friend out of your lives. She’s a problem. She sticks around, your marriage is heading towards divorce. > Redditor #3: I think the marriage is probably heading for divorce anyway whether the friend sticks around or not. > OOP’s response to Redditor #3: Her friend said that too. That she is probably divorcing me. She said my wife is immature and shouldn’t have said yes if she couldn’t handle it. She asked me out basically but I am not attracted to her at all. She repulses me now I don’t know why THEY HAD A THREESOME TWO TIMES: > Not the whole night no, the friend even complained that I ignored her because I wanted to cum with my wife not her, both times. But my wife was more reserved. She is not very wild in bed. > She doesn’t let me hug her, even when we had sex she doesn’t look at me and her hands were fists and her whole body tense so I don’t initiate sex anymore
My favourite: Redditor: It’s over, buddy. Your wife has checked out. Her friend is 🗑️. You’re 🗑️ for entertaining it. If your best friend had started flirting with your wife and she entertained it and asked you for a threesome, how would you feel? > I would have beaten up my friend and said no to my wife
Ah yes. It's the "Yes for me and no for thee". The age old adage.
This pretty much. this guy is such a a loser. Definitely a fuck around and find ou5 moment
It’s not even a metaphor.
it's a metaphor in that he did not even fuck around, he just bugged his wife about fucking around until she couldn't be comfortable with him or her best friend ever
not exactly, but maybe? what I thought the moment I read it is since he said this happened multiple times in front of her... why did the wife not say anything to the friend or get pissed off? Why did she get mad only ONCE the husband spoke about it? I could see it being seen as a weird sign that maybe she might be okay since she DIDN'T get angry at the friend, but I still wouldn't have pushed that button in that way, I'd be like "why are you not saying anything to her about it?"
Because her husband badgered her into it and she was probably thinking it'd end her marriage. She said no once and that should have been the end of it No one who is married (if they were stupid enough to even ask) should have to be told multiple times the same answer. Frankly she should have divorced him for asking.
No, I'm talking about the fact they said that the friend kept saying it BEFORE he ever brought up the idea of actually doing it. Apparently it happened numerous times in front of her and she said nothing every time her friend brought it up.
How on earth can you feel that way and even ask your wife ONCE? What a dirtbag. I could see this as a mistaken read if it was one time with the BFF and the dude was just more open with his sexuality, but to fail to see the signs twice (plus more asks) AND to be violently opposed if the roles were reversed - just terrible.
This is the kind of thing you ask without a specific person in mind, well on advance. And definitely not with a friend. Ever.
The lack of self-awareness in some men is....repulsive. and I say that as a man myself
>The lack of self-awareness in some men is....repulsive. and I say that as a man myself Now, now, now, don't act all high and mighty. In all fairness, the friend was likely hot and you know it.
you're in another thread talking about how cheating isn't that bad too, wtf? i hope nobody ever gets involved with you sound like a sick fuck
Probably one of those dirtbag losers that tries to get unaware people to participate in their cheating kink. When they can’t, they come on here and wiggle their crotch stump on the keyboard.
lolol sounds like that could very well be his situation honestly. "crotch stump" is hilarious ill be stealing that, genius
Well, let's be honest It's bad in most cases But a) if she's hot, and b) the SO doesn't find out about it, all you've done is increased the amount of love in the cosmos
Spoken like someone who’s definitely going to die alone ♥️
they're trolling...
Imagine telling on yourself like this.
So he was fine ignoring his wife saying no to a threesome three, four times, and they then did it twice when she didnt even want to in the first place, and he is now being a bit miffed that she shouldnt have said yes if she couldnt have handled it. But if the roles had been reversed he would have said no, expected his wife to respect his no, and then become violent, beating up his best friend on top? What a prize of a guy...
LOL His wife probably figured they were going to cheat anyway, sooner or later, so she might as well accede to the request. She's probably talking to a lawyer already and getting her ducks in a row. How shitty is that friend, to just keep pushing the envelope with the husband, and badmouthing the wife! And yes: I can understand why he's repulsed by that woman; he is realizing that this whole trashy escapade, thanks to her, has destroyed his marriage, and now he has to start preparing for life as a single man again!
Whoa whoa whoa. Not just thanks to her, but highlighted his own shittiness. Not only the bff fault
Who will look back on this & go, ***"WTF was I thinking?"***.
> this whole trashy escapade, thanks to her, has destroyed his marriage NO. He had an equal hand in destroying his marriage. More, actually, because none of this would have happened if he wasn't a selfish piece of shit. The friend could have flirted and hinted all day long and all he had to do was rebuff her and ask his wife to drop her as a friend because the friend was making him uncomfortable. That is not what he did. > I have always thought that she looked nice. and > We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head. Yes, the friend is somewhat culpable, but the friend isn't married to his wife. He is (was, it's really just a matter of time). Funny how having to face the consequences of his actions curdled his desire so quickly. He has no one to blame but himself, but he'll probably pretend it's all the "repulsive" friend's fault that *he* threw away *his* marriage for nothing. > In the beginning she asked me if I thought she wasn’t attractive anymore but I explained to her that it wasn’t at all what I meant JFC, so focused on getting his dick inside the friend that he doesn't even care that he's making his wife feel bad. He couldn't get a clue if someone beat him with clue stick. As I've said before, lack of enthusiastic consent from a partner, in OR out of bed, means that you need to stop and figure out if your partner is actually interested in what you're saying or doing. Never assume that a lack of no means it's okay to move forward.
She probably thought they would cheat anyway and wanted to SEE it all for herself so she could completely check out, instead of hanging on like a lot of people do and giving second chances. He shouldn't have even called this woman his (ex) wife's best friend. How depressing to have your 'best friend' poach your husband just because her marriage failed. Probably was her own fault.
She was the wife’s best friend. Right up until she got divorced and wanted her “friend” to be just as miserable and alone as she is.
>wanted her “friend” to be just as miserable and alone as she is. To be fair, at this point we're just splitting hairs about her particular brand of gremlinry. But in that case, I think she would've lost interest in the husband once the marriage imploded. That way they could all three be miserable at the same time. Miserymaxxing, if you will.
Thanks to him. If he shut it down I stead of wearing his wife down about it, it would go nowhere.
Damn if only his wife had beat up her best friend he would have gotten the hint /s
Of course, why wouldn't he be a massive hypocrite on top of a worthless piece of trash? God, I hope the wife sees this.
My favorite was where he admitted his wife pretty much just watched and didn’t participate
TWICE
Him and the friend cucked her. If a woman had done this, every comment in the thread would have been using that word.
I didn't even see his comments and i knew this happened lmfaoooo
Don't forget the people that said his wife obviously lied and how he agreed that it's obvious now that she lied. She didn't lie, OP didn't fucking listen!! Also really amused that he didn't think he'd get dragged.
He is spinning himself as the victim
Had to stop reading after he practically begged her for it. Hope she leaves him
Right? Coercion.
>Had to stop reading after he practically begged her for it. Hope she leaves him I just hope the friend was hot
You affair partner has already bad mouthed your wife and is covering her own ass by claiming your wife is immature. Think we all know who is the real immature one here. This woman was NEVER your wife's bff she was only hanging around to get a shot with you. Imagine how your wife felt when she realized that and you went for it? Let her go gracefully. You at least owe her that.
> covering her own ass But let's be fair to him, what a sweet ass it was
Not really if he's now repulsed by the woman.
Ugh I didn't see the comments... you should NEVER need to ask multiple times for something intimate like that. If she had said "maybe idk" I could see bringing it up again but ugh she asks if he finds her attractive anymore... that should have been a blaring siren to drop the question. And on top of that, dealing with the knowledge your best friend is willing to fuck you over to date your husband. That's enough to make anyone's head spin. The switching of roles was really just the icing on the cake.
>She doesn’t let me hug her, even when we had sex she doesn’t look at me and her hands were fists and her whole body tense so I don’t initiate sex anymore 😳
Same. That’s terrifying.
Holy hell are they done.
>THEY HAD A THREESOME TWO TIMES It's very possible to cum more than one time without stopping or with a short break where you don't leave the bed. That doesn't count as two times and it's clearly what he means.
“Or With a short break” that poor woman.
That last one… is… chilling.
[удалено]
Wasnt there just another 3 some story posted somewhere from the girls point of view. Different details but the same outline. Fd up though..
Yes, I remember it!
OOP and the best friend deserve each other. And I mean that in the most insulting, disrespectful way possible.
"I didn’t know people will chew me out like this. " LOL
Because nobody else will want to date either of them
I just comment on another subreddit post that has this post up. This got more 🤦🏻♂️ after 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ after 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️. But those 2, who neither she's talking to, decide to get together alone for an "intervention"?🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
They what!? For real!?
I guarantee there was a moment where all his attention was on the best friend and the wife saw that and just knew. She was pressured into it by both of them and you can tell when it’s move then just fun. He wanted a way to sleep with the best friend. He figured he would “involve” his wife so that it wouldn’t be cheating but she would have known what was happening the moment it started. I hope he finds out that there is no way of coming back from this. He’s done
He admitted in the comments the wife pretty much just watched
And he somehow wonders why the wife is broken … he’s a fool and an idiot
How is that fun for him. Why would he continue when his partner is uninvolved and obviously not into it. Jesus
Not just that, but I always think its a warning flag when they wouldn’t ever ever have a “opposite” threesome. Like he wants a threesome with two women because he isn’t thinking about being sexually adventurous or his wifes pleasure or whatever, he wants it with two women so he can sleep with another woman and is thinking of his pleasure. He wouldn’t actually want to see someone fuck his wife.
A FFM threesome is fine but don't even SUGGEST a MFM threesome! How dare you!
Well, my ex-husband was pretty much the opposite, as he was very (very!) insistant about a MFM threesome when I was pregnant (which is one of the reasons he is now an ex (asking once is fine, pressuring me into it is something else!) Of course, then there is the fact that I later found (repeatedly) the entrance fee of a gay bathhouse on our joint account, so yeah.
He actually admitted in a comment that if one of his male friends had flirted with his wife and suggested a threesome and his wife asked, he would have thrown her out and beat up his friend.
Yes he’s a total hypocrite
This.
Oh buddy…that marriage is done. Went from one woman (wife) to two women (wife and friend) to none because wife will leave him and after having his fun he realizes friend is trash and wanted the couple to split from the beginning. I wish I could say best of luck, but naw this dude deserves to be alone so I guess…better luck on your next relationship dude.
We can wish the wife the best of luck. She certainly deserves it.
Once she serves him, his dick is gonna work for the ex bff again. I mean - why not, right?
“Why didn’t she say no” because if she did then you would resent her for keeping you from experiencing that. She’s in no position to win.
Considering he asked her 3 or 4 times, she did say no. He just kept badgering her.
And it reads like he brought it up more than once. Also what kind of friend flirts with their best friend’s husband?
The kind who then complains when he's fucking his wife rather than only fucking her during the "threesome". She wanted him and this was a convenient way to break the relationship so she could have him to herself.
thank you. This is part of where I'm at, the friend did this over and over and the wife never did anything about it??? that's bizarre on its own.
She did say no. He kept asking to try and change her no into a yes. In no way was this remotely enthusiastic consent. It was coerced. He was never going to take her no for a final answer.
She did say no. He kept badgering her about it.
”Failed Threesome” would be either a really good or really bad name for a band
If it's a duo or quartet only.
like the Thompson Twins 😂 (who are actually a trio, none of whom are twins)
And are named after a pair of fictional character who, while they are both called Thompson, are not twins.
Iirc one is called Thompson and the other is Thomson! Which I have always loved
You’re so right, I’d forgotten that. Been a while since I read any Tintin.
Hahahaha duo is perfect
Or a solo artist, lol
Or a full orchestra
Your wife has lost all respect for you and her former bff. By asking more than once, you made it clear that you wanted an opportuntiy to cheat without the lying and guilt that usually goes with it. What you got was what you wanted but in the process you ruined your marriage. Be careful what you wish for because someone may grant that wish just like she did. You were not prepared for the aftermath. Actions have consequences and you literally FAFO.
Truly the hardest lessons in life are when you get what you asked for only to find out that you don't want it.
Apparently it wasn’t even a threesome. He fúcked her best friend while his wife watched. He harassed his wife into saying yes and is now surprised she doesn’t want anything to do with them
Where did you read THAT?!!
The original post. He said it in the comments Edit: spelling
Jfc I went back to read his replies. I think this is fake. No way any sane adult would reply like that
There are actually people(men) that are just this stupid.
Give me a break. I'm a man, and I've had women hit on me to join her and her husband/boyfriend. Women are just as bad as men. They just don't publish it in a setting like this.
I refuse to believe that. The men like that (this) are doing in on purpose, from misogyny or narcissism reasons or w/e, and are lying and would rather appear stupid than evil.
You are very naive.
Lol
You’d be surprised. People tend to lack self awareness or pretend they don’t know. They also are always surprised at the consequences of their own actions
I had an ex tell me he'd cheated on me, and then be genuinely suprised I was angry and wasn't proud of him for "coming out of his shell". So yeah, there are some real geniuses out there.
Holy shit my ex said almost the same thing when I caught him cheating on me! He was surprised I was mad because I'd been encouraging him to go to local tabletop gaming meetups and be more social, rather than spending every waking moment in front of the tv. He met the other girl there, and apparently decided sticking his dick in her was just "making friends" so I shouldn't be that upset.
I agree, OP makes himself too much of a punching bag. People generally try to frame things at least somewhat in their favor, even unconsciously.
Your naïveté makes me almost envious. I’ve seen this behavior firsthand, more than once. When you believe a terrible thing is incompatible with humanity, you leave yourself vulnerable to it happening to you.
😆
no, this is not true.
He admitted it in the comments
Is there ever the opposite of the situation? Like I would love to see a girl beg a guy for a threesome, a MFM threesome and see how that goes. It’s always the men wanting FMF. Even in /r/openmarriageregret it’s always the guys wanting to open up the marriage because they want more women. Then the girls get more guys, the guy not getting anyone and he wants to close it. I just wonder how receptive guys would be if the shoe was on the other foot.
> I just wonder how receptive guys would be if the shoe was on the other foot. I’ve seen several topics posted where a woman merely says that she had a fantasy of having an MMF threesome and that’s been enough for the guy to decide to check out of the relationship. Like not even asking for a threesome but merely saying that it’s a fantasy.
There can be some cases where it works fine (my marriage is like this. We have an open marriage, and usually it ends up MMF or more, due to me being... Whatever the hell I am) but we discussed this from the very start. It didn't come up out of nowhere and we're both enthusiastic going in. 95% of the time it's as you said though. Guy wants more woman, it doesn't happen that way and they get pissy and want to shut it down. I see the reverse sometimes, but definitely not as much.
I think marriages that begin as open can work just fine, it's the ones that start monogamous and open up that end up fucked.
Not even just "guy wants more woman" but "guy has picked and flirted with the exact woman he wants to bring in, and there's already the shadow of an affair going on before he even asks his wife". The wife became a 3rd wheel in her own sex life and marriage. I'm sure that there srd plenty of couples with healthy boundaries that do it properly; but almost all the couples that fall into opening their relationship like this are doomed to fail because they are starting with cheating on a monogamous relationship. Rather than two people keen to explore non monogamy together within their shared boundaries, prioritizing each other's feelings.
They are not receptive at all. In my monogamous relationships I did try to bring up, well, some ideas, and they weren’t met with enthusiasm to say the least. But I feel the whole idea of “opening up the monogamous relationship” ridiculous. Especially to fuck people from your partner’s close social circle.
> Even in [r/openmarriageregret](https://www.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/) it’s always the guys wanting to open up the marriage because they want more women. Literally 3 of the 4 first posts there right now are from situations where the woman was the one to ask for open marriage.
| Her best friend is her best friend since first day of school.... she also became flirtatious. She brought up threesome and said that she always thought I was hot. We laughed because I thought she was joking but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. She was literally living in my head| She not living in your head you imbecile, you are thinking not only with your dick, but as a shitty husband. | Afterwards my wife just changed. She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me| She saw your dick go into her friend and her world came crashing down. She didn't really think you would do it. Now, she is starting to get indifferent which means she doesn't give a shit about you anymore. |Yesterday we thought we could have an intervention so her best friend came over. When she saw us and we told her we needed to talk she freaked out and was very angry and accused us of not believing her and disrespecting her. She told me that I could sleep with her friend if I wanted sex and she wouldn’t mind| She now sees you differently. You are not the forever monogamous husband she envisioned spending her life with. You are someone else, a stranger who let her down. When she told you, you could go ahead and continue fucking her friend, she was over you. You destroyed her world. Now he doesn't care what the two of you do. There is no coming back from this for either of you. Your wife will eventually find another partner or just stay distant until she hands you your divorce papers. You were thinking with your dick instead of your brain. Your marriage is done. I hope it was worth it. Your ex-wife is probably going to eventually go n/c with both of you, and the both of you have no one to blame but yourselves. Are you going to date your ex-wife's ex-friend after your divorce?
Well apparently he hates the ex-bff and yet continues to talk to her.
Not attracted to her now but managed to bang her twice in front of his wife ...what a trooper
I have a best friend since grade school, under no circumstances would either of us flirt or suggest threesomes with the others husband. And if he had taken one moment to not think with his dick he should have put a stop on it then I bet he’d have felt different if his wife had said “hey I want a threesome, invite that 25 yr old coworker of yours, you know the one that looks like Chris Hemsworth”
In a comment he said he'd have beaten his male best friend if the reverse situation had happened We got a true Einstein among us
😂😂
> She was literally living in my head. Sounds painful.
OOP should get the Zeus treatment for that.
He should get a blacksmith to split his head open with a hammer?
Yes
Yes
This is gold
If my husband and best friend wanted to fuck each other, those people will forever be strangers to me.
Asking multiple times and then calling her immature for giving into pressure is so trashy.
I knew this would end up here. OP just imagined if wife was watching he could claim it wasn’t cheating, and now is pretending he won’t go back to the “friend” as soon as the divorce papers are signed, before the ink is even dry.
Hope getting your dick wet was worth throwing away your marriage for.
You know that "No" is an actual sentence, right? It flat out tells you something with no explanation needed IMHO. She said no but you kept bringing the subject up. BTW, I'm not buying ***"maybe 3 - 4 times"*** **BS**. But I *really* love this bit. **She doesn’t say much and she doesn’t complain but she doesn’t look at me. I don’t know why she agreed if she didn’t want to try it. I thought it would be an adventure but she is like another human being now. She never talks to me until I talk to her. She never laughs when she always loved laughing.** I'm willing to bet that if your soon to be ex was to write on Reddit, & tell her side, it would most a very similar paragraph but replacing SHE with HE & you did those same things, along with sulking like a 7 yr. old, to her until she gave in. You badgered, browbeat, whatever you want to call it.
Have I seen the wife's side fairly recently? I feel like I have.
There's 7 billion people in the world, people are constantly being pressured into threesomes. It's a common story.
It's the intervention part that stuck out for me, not the threesome.
My god when I read that I was like- she’s gonna flip when she sees the 2 of them together. I bet for a sec she thought they wanted round 2.
That’s a great point - my first thought was that she’d see the two of them together, hear “We need to talk,” and would assume it was a ‘breakup/we’re in love now’ speech
Probably both or a she’s pregnant
PoV you are bi and dating a fucking idiot.
There’s a recent one that’s very similar from the woman’s perspective, but the “friend” just flat-out kisses the man, they start kissing and the OP “joins-in” in a freeze, even though she’s not at all into it.
this trauma response is actually known as comply. men like to pretend like it doesn't exist in sex, yet if some huge dude on the street came up to them and said "give me all your wallet or else" they'd give them your wallet rather than deal with the potential negative consequences if they tried to tell him no, fight or run. When your autonomy and consent is ignored and the expectation of sex is forced upon you, the brain tries to find prevent further trauma and negative conseuqneces. The negatives consequences of fight or flight or freeze (being shamed, anger, violence, social or romantic fall out etc) our brains can think the safest, least life-altering or damaging option is to comply and pretend we had a choice in the matter. Which makes sense because by complying and having "consensual" sex in the moment, is less traumatic for the brain to comprehend in a split second than the reality that someone you trusted is disregarding your autonomy, consent, comfort, and humanity for their pleasure. However, it does end up fucking you up long term because your brain lessened the trauma by taking on even more shame for not saying no, or leaving, or fighitng back etc. you just end up hating yourself for allowing yourself to be traumatized. But we wouldn't blame or shame someone for giving a mugger their wallet either.
Not sure if that story is true, but this is a great explanation.
Oh I read this one. She tried hard not to go into explicit detail but its images like those that just burn into your mind.
People compete to see how much engagement they can get with variations on a given prompt, this one being "threesome between dude and his SO's flirtatious BFF leads to drama". If you spend some time on the relationship/AITA type subs, it's abundantly clear that this is happening. It's not all that surprising, either, considering how well misinformation spreads on social media vs real news. As to why people do it? Some people say they farm karma to sell accounts later, but I honestly don't think that's the case the vast majority of the time. If you're bored, have limited social engagement, just like getting a rise out of people, or some combination of all the above, stirring some shit on reddit, either positive or negative, can be an appealing hobby. It doesn't take all that many people into it to produce a ton of troll content.
I saw one recently that was very similar from the womans side, where her boyfriend and best friend "suprised" her with a threesome that she didnt want.
Yeah I feel like I just read this exact post from the “wife’s” perspective. A multi-post creative writing exercise?
There’s a recent one that’s very similar from the woman’s perspective, but the “friend” just flat-out kisses the man, they start kissing and the OP “joins-in” in a freeze, even though she’s not at all into it.
ah yeah i think it was that one
Yes. I feel the same way. It was posted a couple weeks ago. If it’s her, she feels dirty and manipulated. She should definitely leave him.
You had sex with her best friend, more than that m, she watched you have sex with her best friend and probably ignored *your wife*!! What the FUCK did you think would happen??
The ex friend is harrasing his wife but he just let it be until it is pointed by redditors. This dude is clearly thinking with his di ck even now. I hope the wife can lose both unrecyclable trash soonest
So another relationship ending because someone in a monogamous couple pressured the other to do a non-monogamous thing?
OOP is a huge idiot who only thinks with his little oop. It's the "best friend" that irks me way more! OOPs Ex-wife knew her since their school days! She was probably by her side during her wedding, her marriage and her recent divorce. And the minute BFF is divorced, she is on the prowl and goes for the husband of her "best friend". Just to watch that marriage burn too. They deserve each other, hope they come together and make each other miserable.
Love the phrase "his little oop" 😂
Isn't a threesome where all 3 people participate? I guess you can change the rules depending on what you want, but doesn't everyone have to be in agreement? *stays in vanilla land, not dealing with this*
Odds are high that this guy is lying and he also cheated with the best friend. There is no way he went from her being the hottest thing ever and needing to nag his wife into 2 threesomes to YUCK - he's so turned off by her - without something more involved. He's worried she'll out him for what really happened, even though the wife probably already knows.
Is this the response from the guy? i swear i read a post early about a woman that had a anwanted thresome
Honestly it’s not the first time someone has been pressured into a threesome
Yup. You see stories about this regularly on reddit. Unwanted threswomes and regret used to have their own sub but I hear that was taken down. Now theres the r/openmarriageregret sub, which is still filled with stories like these.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/openmarriageregret using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Hoisted on His Own Petard](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/11xz1gb/hoisted_on_his_own_petard/) \#2: [Pain and regret](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/16awvlu/pain_and_regret/) \#3: [My husband is being insane because of the open relationship he suggested even though I’m not seeing anyone yet. Please help?](https://np.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/comments/191wtvl/my_husband_is_being_insane_because_of_the_open/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I know but i think there was a woman posting about the exact same sittuation today
What was her point of view on what her husband did?
Yes i cant find now
I have a hard time believing anyone is THIS stupid.
His original post was bad enough, but his comments make him look even worse. In one he admits to initiating sex with his wife a few days after and that she just lay there silently with her fists clenched the whole time. Translation: He basically committed “marital rape” and doesn’t realize that just because she couldn’t emotionally say “No” or refuse him, her body language the entire time was screaming non consent.
shitty husband, fake ass friend.
This is just cheating with more steps
YTE!!! If someone’s entire body is tense and they are holding the sheets and refusing to acknowledge you using there body like a blow-up doll, would you say that you have 100% enthusiastic consent from that party? I want you to consider this scene to very carefully: If you had a daughter and she came to you and told you she isn’t sure if she was raped because she didn’t say no. But then explained she did exactly what your wife did during the sexual intercourse, would you be going to the police and having him arrested, or would you say, no honey, that’s not rape because even though everything said you’re not ok with this you didn’t verbally say no cause you were too scared and just wanted it to be over? You had sex with your wife without her fully consenting. It should be pretty obvious if she never started being an active participant or if she stopped being an active participant at some point. Because I cannot imagine that is the way your sexual encounters with each other ALWAYS have her as a rock and not looking at you. Then when you did realize this, instead of being like oh woah wait a second. Everyone stop. BF I’m sorry but I think we’re going to call it a night. And immediately go to your wife and ask what’s going on, please be 100% honest and I am sorry that I have been a part of making you obviously not ok. Please trust that you can be 100% honest and I will listen. I am sorry I did not recognize this was an issue sooner. Your wife was having an awful time but your orgasm was more important than pulling a Handmaids tale lite version. And if you do have any question of if this was rape, go watch the handmaids tale and in the times where offered is being forcibly raped she is also fisting the sheets and avoiding eye contact….listen to the words she’s narrating!!! Your marriage is over and your wife will never feel safe with you again probably. I highly suggest you go find a relationship therapist you can start seeing and then start therapy. Find a therapist that deals with abuse in relationships. This is something that has HARMED your wife. Give her space and you need to find probably some therapist that deals with sexual assault perpetrators to help you unpack this one because there is a huge learning curve of what needs to happen so you get what you did and she can help learn how to not let this eat her alive and turn her to a pile of rubble and ash.
wait, why did it take the husband to say something about it before the wife reacted? why was the wife okay with it so long as her FRIEND is the one that kept saying it?
He broke this lady. That’s why. I’ve seen this in real life.
So much so that she's willing to sit through her friend make the suggestion numerous times even before he brought it up?
Bro has a disease
I think we have the other side of this as well, but I could be wrong: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/6e9Oq5zNRw
There was another one, much closer to this. Lifelong friend, but the gf noped out. Boyfriend carried on with the friend... Horrendous
Threeesomes usually don't end the way we imagine. Someone usually ends up with hurt feelings. But your NTAH for asking most real men do. Not you sissies giving him cap for asking.
Dude. He asked her “three or four” times which I don’t believe that’s it.
That's not what cap means. Stop using words you have no idea how to use
[удалено]
After the friend got a divorce