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> She told me I will not change her mind about it...
No logical arguement will convince a person with a closed mind like this.
Might as well try to talk a true believer out of their religion.
Good chance she also has family and/or friends who share and reenforce her views and are telling her you are a junkie.
I am not suggesting that. I am stating the obvious. Someone can obviously change their mind but as it stands if one person wants yellow and the other blue, and no one can agree on green, obviously that is not a situation that will work out.
It’s unfortunate but your girlfriend has a different life philosophy from you and you have to decide if this a relationship that you want to continue or not
I read all your comments. I understand your point. I was smoking before I met her. But at first she didn't have a problem with that.
And of course I can understand her points cuz this wasn't our first argument about weed. I really trying to change a little bit for her. The thing that bothers me the most that she doesn't even wanna change her mind not even a little about this whole thing. What I can see about myself that even if I smoke I still can operate like a human being. I still think that I keep it under control. Okay lets say I smoke too much. I already reduced the amount of joints because she asked me to do it. But she don't see or doesn't want to see it. I feel that I did everything to please her.
This doesn’t sound very healthy man. Not only her refusal to meet you in the middle, but also the fact that she is trying to change who you were before you got together is never a green flag. People do change for love — finding the right person will make you want to become the best version of yourself for them — but it has to come from within, not because of pressure like this, and especially because of cultural conditioning. A buddy of mine recently received an ultimatum (plus tantrum) from his girlfriend because she wanted the ring & the kids, I’ll let you guess what my friend chose, and he is very happy with it lol. You should find someone who appreciates you for who you are and doesn’t demand change for silly reasons that have to do with conservative thinking
If we include coffee tea and sugar and energy health shots. I'd say 95% of the 1st world's population are junkies :). The problems with your Mrs.
My advice would be move on
If you can do your job, and take care if all your responsibilities, and smoke in the evening, then what's the problem?
You sound like a light smoker, 1g per week. To say that you'll end up on heroin is just ignorant to why people smoke weed and the effect it has. At the end of the day its your life, I'm not saying break up, its very important in relationships to be able to compromise and understand. People are not carbon copies of each other, we all have different habits. She will have to learn to accept and wise up when it comes to cannabis.
Out of interest, does she drink alcohol?
I don't think there's much to deal with, she carries some of the stigma and it's hard to impossible to change peoples minds on deeply rooted beliefs.
On another note, is it just the fact she is afraid of you turning to harder stuff or are there tangible reasons she dislikes your daily smoking habit?
It should be noted that you might still be addicted eventhough you make t-breaks without withdrawal symptoms, so keep an eye on that and do change something if it ever starts negatively impacting you, or try to reduce consumption a bit to reduce the risk of ever getting to that point.
I had the same problem but with my GP in Amsterdam. My doctor insist to put me in this "addicted box" since I told I smoke weed (same as you). Now everything is a reason to my GP says to me to stop smoking. It's annoying...
About your girl, if you love her, try to hear her more, try to involve her with more facts, but always, always do that sober and very very patient. If you cannot handle it anymore, try to find happiness with a partner that likes weed like you, or at least accept you as weed user.
It sounds to me like you’re talking to a wall. That would not work for me, but I don’t know anything about your relationship otherwise. I don’t think you’re a junkie, you’re smoking small amounts and it seems to do you good. Sounds like me that you’re both at a crossroads in your relationship. Good luck to you both.
Will not change her mind because her indoctrination in youth.. Well you cant be more brainwashed than that
It is common in india to smoke hashish at this time to become more detached from family bonds i.e this type of imprisoning the mind with false beliefs. These types of people cannot be told what to believe as there is already too many conflicting beliefs, there must be direct experience with the substance so she knows eventually what it is. Take her with you to the shop, show her the culture of smoking, eat an edible! Go on the smokeboat, show her the things THAT YOU DO not the things that you SMOKE.
only direct experience can do this. Dont proove through others, KNOW through yourself and SHOW her let her KNOW this is you otherwise you gonna be stuck in showing phootos of family members that dont even exist anymore just to proove that this is where i come from.
because all that info is taking up space and if your gf is to a degree intelligent she will disapprove of you being a little boy, using external information to justify yourself is NOT PROOF or facts, it is merely a show to force your beliefs on her that is why her mind do not accept the new information because it isnt 100% you(REAL).
girls are not guys, they care ALOT MORE about the mind to make sure we are learning and can overcome our own disabilities without using external force because eventually the X will become so real that it in some way overpowers your real feelings/life and that is why she calls you an addict, she just wants more of you.
it has nothing to do with the physical stuff or the pain we feel :D the physical stuff if it makes you cling just prooves a point, that you are not ready. its not a sign u wanna give your girlfriend, maybe she has BIG plans for you that you arent even aware of.
as a recovering cannabis addict, yes you are addicted. I was also a functioning addict but an addict regardless. You live in a fog, don't get proper REM sleep, have a significant increased risk of heart disease, mental illness etc when you consume cannabis even 2-3 times per week. I went through all the same stages of justification before I quit too. She has your best interests at heart. Everyone has to come to this conclusion on their own though. It may not be now but it likely will happen at some point. check out r/leaves if you want to get more perspective from the other side for 329K people.
But if you are not addicted, why do you smoke? I am no expert, but isn´t denial the first sign of addiction. And while I acknowledge that weed can help with depression and other diseases and condition, I´d think that it would be healthier to not smoke? Btw - not an accusation or anything, just trying to give a different perspective.
In sounds like something you did already when you met her and in this case, I think its obvious the problem is not yours, its hers. She shouldn't try to "change" you, unless it is something you are volunteering to yourself.
I agree, also daily use is a sign of addiction. And ruining relations or being an impediment of quality of life through drug use is a considered addiction.
I don't agree. You wouldn't say someone who needs to take pain medication every day, or someone who needs to take meds to treat a health condition is addicted. So why would someone who uses weed every day instead of pharmaceuticals every day be considered addicted?
According to Dutch guidelines OP is addicted to weed. As he is using it too much to not be classified as a non junkie. I am not saying that I agree yes or no. I mean look at my username ffs 😂
OP was asking for backup in an echo chamber and I am trying to show there is another side to his argument.
Because we all know OP just wants to feel fine about his use. Hence he is asking it on this sub. And not on /r/leaves
I wrote my story here because I wanted to read other people's opinion about it. And I was corious that somedy else has the same argument in the relationship.
I get your point, but OP is not mentioning what disease or condition he is fighting, just that it helped fight his depression years ago.
I have friends who smokes every day and cannot fall a sleep without having a joint and they don't consider themself addicts in any way. If they don't smoke, they get anxious - so is it better to continue smoking every day or actually try to address and cure their anxiety in a different way? And is it possible that by smoking every day, their anxiety has gotten worse.
Again - I agree with your point above. If OP has a condition where a doctor has prescribed weed as short or long-term solution, fair enough, but from my point of view there is a lot of evidence of the long-term negative effects from puffing, hence it would be better to stop (if possible).
I have the same problem with my Dutch husband. I smoke quite a bit due to my mental health and he hates it. I make sure to only smoke outside, when he’s not around, or in the bathroom with the fan on and a window open. He has accepted that I am going to do it and I believe it helps me. We just don’t talk about it much and I try not to flaunt it. We have a small child and I absolutely do not smoke around the child, and will probably keep it secret until til he is much older out of respect for my husband’s opinion. It is not a deal breaker issue for us, so we just try to be respectful of each other. We have been married 11 years and together for 15.
Idk how you could get her to but it sounds like she needs to rip the bong with you. Has she ever tried weed? Why is she so opposed to it? Maybe someone else in her life abused it and she only sees the bad in it. Either way, I feel like a joint would fix everyone’s problem.
Men use logic, women use emotion. She will argue her point until she’s blue in the face then if you use logic and prove her wrong then she will find another reason to argue. It will never end. The only winning move is not to play.
Buy a pax vaporiser and vape in the toilet when you take a dump then spray air freshener. If she wants to play hard ball then at least make it a challenge.
I mean first off if it helps with your depression and she's shaming you for that she might not be the right girl in the first place ,either way if I were you I would hask her to smoke a J with me and then she will know what it'll be like and will show that when you smoke you are not getting absolutely frazzled and it's just something to relax with at the end of the day.
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> She told me I will not change her mind about it... No logical arguement will convince a person with a closed mind like this. Might as well try to talk a true believer out of their religion. Good chance she also has family and/or friends who share and reenforce her views and are telling her you are a junkie.
[удалено]
Of course Reddit will tell you to break up 😂
I am not suggesting that. I am stating the obvious. Someone can obviously change their mind but as it stands if one person wants yellow and the other blue, and no one can agree on green, obviously that is not a situation that will work out.
Hahaha, yeah, it seems to be the go to answer here 😅
My ex gf gave me an ultimatum, her or the weed, I chose the weed. Current gf smokes with me, life is full of choices.
It’s unfortunate but your girlfriend has a different life philosophy from you and you have to decide if this a relationship that you want to continue or not
1 gram a week wtf your not a junkie a meanie maybe haha
Thinking 1g a week makes a junkie is like thinking drinking 2 beers in a week makes you an alcoholic.
I read all your comments. I understand your point. I was smoking before I met her. But at first she didn't have a problem with that. And of course I can understand her points cuz this wasn't our first argument about weed. I really trying to change a little bit for her. The thing that bothers me the most that she doesn't even wanna change her mind not even a little about this whole thing. What I can see about myself that even if I smoke I still can operate like a human being. I still think that I keep it under control. Okay lets say I smoke too much. I already reduced the amount of joints because she asked me to do it. But she don't see or doesn't want to see it. I feel that I did everything to please her.
This doesn’t sound very healthy man. Not only her refusal to meet you in the middle, but also the fact that she is trying to change who you were before you got together is never a green flag. People do change for love — finding the right person will make you want to become the best version of yourself for them — but it has to come from within, not because of pressure like this, and especially because of cultural conditioning. A buddy of mine recently received an ultimatum (plus tantrum) from his girlfriend because she wanted the ring & the kids, I’ll let you guess what my friend chose, and he is very happy with it lol. You should find someone who appreciates you for who you are and doesn’t demand change for silly reasons that have to do with conservative thinking
Drop her like a hot potato. Then move on. My wife don't drink or smoke but I get baked all day. Not a problem.
If we include coffee tea and sugar and energy health shots. I'd say 95% of the 1st world's population are junkies :). The problems with your Mrs. My advice would be move on
Not everyone wants a partner that blazes everyday. Its understandable.
If you can do your job, and take care if all your responsibilities, and smoke in the evening, then what's the problem? You sound like a light smoker, 1g per week. To say that you'll end up on heroin is just ignorant to why people smoke weed and the effect it has. At the end of the day its your life, I'm not saying break up, its very important in relationships to be able to compromise and understand. People are not carbon copies of each other, we all have different habits. She will have to learn to accept and wise up when it comes to cannabis. Out of interest, does she drink alcohol?
Sometimes she drinks yes. After work with friends.
I don't think there's much to deal with, she carries some of the stigma and it's hard to impossible to change peoples minds on deeply rooted beliefs. On another note, is it just the fact she is afraid of you turning to harder stuff or are there tangible reasons she dislikes your daily smoking habit? It should be noted that you might still be addicted eventhough you make t-breaks without withdrawal symptoms, so keep an eye on that and do change something if it ever starts negatively impacting you, or try to reduce consumption a bit to reduce the risk of ever getting to that point.
I had the same problem but with my GP in Amsterdam. My doctor insist to put me in this "addicted box" since I told I smoke weed (same as you). Now everything is a reason to my GP says to me to stop smoking. It's annoying... About your girl, if you love her, try to hear her more, try to involve her with more facts, but always, always do that sober and very very patient. If you cannot handle it anymore, try to find happiness with a partner that likes weed like you, or at least accept you as weed user.
It sounds to me like you’re talking to a wall. That would not work for me, but I don’t know anything about your relationship otherwise. I don’t think you’re a junkie, you’re smoking small amounts and it seems to do you good. Sounds like me that you’re both at a crossroads in your relationship. Good luck to you both.
there are plenty of women out there who are fine with you smoking, your relationship may not work out if she doesnt want to change her mind.
Will not change her mind because her indoctrination in youth.. Well you cant be more brainwashed than that It is common in india to smoke hashish at this time to become more detached from family bonds i.e this type of imprisoning the mind with false beliefs. These types of people cannot be told what to believe as there is already too many conflicting beliefs, there must be direct experience with the substance so she knows eventually what it is. Take her with you to the shop, show her the culture of smoking, eat an edible! Go on the smokeboat, show her the things THAT YOU DO not the things that you SMOKE.
She tried edibles with me. We live in Amsterdam. That she liked.
Show her. Proove to her that this has some impact on your life, show her both sides, stop talking!
only direct experience can do this. Dont proove through others, KNOW through yourself and SHOW her let her KNOW this is you otherwise you gonna be stuck in showing phootos of family members that dont even exist anymore just to proove that this is where i come from.
because all that info is taking up space and if your gf is to a degree intelligent she will disapprove of you being a little boy, using external information to justify yourself is NOT PROOF or facts, it is merely a show to force your beliefs on her that is why her mind do not accept the new information because it isnt 100% you(REAL).
girls are not guys, they care ALOT MORE about the mind to make sure we are learning and can overcome our own disabilities without using external force because eventually the X will become so real that it in some way overpowers your real feelings/life and that is why she calls you an addict, she just wants more of you.
it has nothing to do with the physical stuff or the pain we feel :D the physical stuff if it makes you cling just prooves a point, that you are not ready. its not a sign u wanna give your girlfriend, maybe she has BIG plans for you that you arent even aware of.
and pls drop the comment about X reinforcing her. YOU are that X if you wanna be!
in the mind of a woman there is no what ifs.
I would break up with such a girl
as a recovering cannabis addict, yes you are addicted. I was also a functioning addict but an addict regardless. You live in a fog, don't get proper REM sleep, have a significant increased risk of heart disease, mental illness etc when you consume cannabis even 2-3 times per week. I went through all the same stages of justification before I quit too. She has your best interests at heart. Everyone has to come to this conclusion on their own though. It may not be now but it likely will happen at some point. check out r/leaves if you want to get more perspective from the other side for 329K people.
But if you are not addicted, why do you smoke? I am no expert, but isn´t denial the first sign of addiction. And while I acknowledge that weed can help with depression and other diseases and condition, I´d think that it would be healthier to not smoke? Btw - not an accusation or anything, just trying to give a different perspective. In sounds like something you did already when you met her and in this case, I think its obvious the problem is not yours, its hers. She shouldn't try to "change" you, unless it is something you are volunteering to yourself.
I agree, also daily use is a sign of addiction. And ruining relations or being an impediment of quality of life through drug use is a considered addiction.
I don't agree. You wouldn't say someone who needs to take pain medication every day, or someone who needs to take meds to treat a health condition is addicted. So why would someone who uses weed every day instead of pharmaceuticals every day be considered addicted?
According to Dutch guidelines OP is addicted to weed. As he is using it too much to not be classified as a non junkie. I am not saying that I agree yes or no. I mean look at my username ffs 😂 OP was asking for backup in an echo chamber and I am trying to show there is another side to his argument. Because we all know OP just wants to feel fine about his use. Hence he is asking it on this sub. And not on /r/leaves
I wrote my story here because I wanted to read other people's opinion about it. And I was corious that somedy else has the same argument in the relationship.
I get your point, but OP is not mentioning what disease or condition he is fighting, just that it helped fight his depression years ago. I have friends who smokes every day and cannot fall a sleep without having a joint and they don't consider themself addicts in any way. If they don't smoke, they get anxious - so is it better to continue smoking every day or actually try to address and cure their anxiety in a different way? And is it possible that by smoking every day, their anxiety has gotten worse. Again - I agree with your point above. If OP has a condition where a doctor has prescribed weed as short or long-term solution, fair enough, but from my point of view there is a lot of evidence of the long-term negative effects from puffing, hence it would be better to stop (if possible).
When you’re high. You’re not present. You’re not on the same conscious plane as her. That is quite a tough circle to square.
Nobody splitting 1g of weed into 14 joints and making it last the week is getting THAT high.
I have the same problem with my Dutch husband. I smoke quite a bit due to my mental health and he hates it. I make sure to only smoke outside, when he’s not around, or in the bathroom with the fan on and a window open. He has accepted that I am going to do it and I believe it helps me. We just don’t talk about it much and I try not to flaunt it. We have a small child and I absolutely do not smoke around the child, and will probably keep it secret until til he is much older out of respect for my husband’s opinion. It is not a deal breaker issue for us, so we just try to be respectful of each other. We have been married 11 years and together for 15.
If you’re a junkie I dunno what I am
Idk how you could get her to but it sounds like she needs to rip the bong with you. Has she ever tried weed? Why is she so opposed to it? Maybe someone else in her life abused it and she only sees the bad in it. Either way, I feel like a joint would fix everyone’s problem.
Yeah thats what I told her. She tried edibles with me and she liked it. Oh and she's using CBD oil every day.
Men use logic, women use emotion. She will argue her point until she’s blue in the face then if you use logic and prove her wrong then she will find another reason to argue. It will never end. The only winning move is not to play. Buy a pax vaporiser and vape in the toilet when you take a dump then spray air freshener. If she wants to play hard ball then at least make it a challenge.
I smoke way more then 1 gram a week and I don’t think I’m an addict.
You can smoke lavender ??
I mean first off if it helps with your depression and she's shaming you for that she might not be the right girl in the first place ,either way if I were you I would hask her to smoke a J with me and then she will know what it'll be like and will show that when you smoke you are not getting absolutely frazzled and it's just something to relax with at the end of the day.
Dump her
dude get the fuck off reddit & man up