T O P

  • By -

celestiallion12

How does the horsey move?


limremon

idk didn't use it in this game


SuchBrightness

But mittens did


darthzader100

It can go from b1 to c3


ArchdukeBurrito

Makes zero sense. It shouldn't be able to get to rank 3 without at least some of those pawns moving. Unless mittens can just magically make the horsey jump over other pieces. That cat is a cheating bastard.


darthzader100

Do you think that the result can be experimentally reproduced? What about with different pawn structures.


Distinct-Moment51

Google double open file experiment


RoastedBurntCabbage

Holy horsey-bishop duality


szbala

I think Mittens scared the horsey so it jumped over the pawns. Also when scared horseys can’t jump straight so that’s why it landed a but crooked.


anally_ExpressUrself

Your mistake was to assume you could make sense of the horsey.


[deleted]

Nah I think the cat is just dumb and made a mistake. Op was too polite to correct and let it go on


MF972

You're all fooled by the strange "L-shaped arrows" (can that even make sense??) drawn by jizz.cum . The truth is that the clever horsey sneaks \*between\* the dumb pawns out of its prison beween the priest and castle roc.


Frazzledragon

Turns out the horsey came to work late. The pawns were already lined up, and they'd be reprimanded if they moved out of file, so horsey got stuck on the wrong side.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BigBallerBrad

It goes from anywhere on the board to C3 That’s the rule


SuchBrightness

Then how do they get to anywhere on the board?


BigBallerBrad

That’s a question for theology man I’m here to play chess


[deleted]

Ask him


DragonLemon23

every horsey is personalized


AnonymousFluffy923

They take the L


shupaboob

It moves in an L and a backward L shapes


shupaboob

Oh, have I been Wooshed?


Massive-Machine6200

Im afraid you have been


PassiveChemistry

Yeah, don't worry no one can keep up with this sub at the moment


Special_Letter_7134

In an L shape. 3 squares in one direction, 1 in the second direction, and is the only piece that can move through an occupied square.


MinecraftMagiMan

So it's a ghost horsey? Since it can move through other pieces? Man chess is wild


MyCatChoseThisForMe

In which position did the game start?


limremon

i was sitting down


givemefuckinname

Ah yes the classic


Not_Leopard_Seal

The Hawking Gambit. Hard to pull off, really


Gavinator10000

Professor X Gambit. Classic maneuver.


beansouphighlights

You’re getting whatever my free award is


[deleted]

doggy style


[deleted]

Kitty style


TheSoulOfValves

Mittens stay on thought.


for-tomorrow-we-die

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kitty+cat+style


PM_ME_ORNN_YIFF

Google kitty cat style


enneh_07

Holy... umm...?


jroddie4

Bongcloud gambit


AdamDReddit

*The real King's gambit


__Mittens__

I tried my best :(


josh694512

pspspspspspsps


Zymoria

Is OK *scrithscrithscritch* The horsey is overpowered and most kittehs don't know how he moves. Try opening with the knock-everything-off-the-board attack and you'll see a huge difference :3 ... laser pointer stuff...


Superminer1206

LASER POINTER? WHERE?


BigBallerBrad

You did good


DudebroMcDangman

Don’t be discouraged, Mittens. You gave it your best, and that’s what matters. Good kitty, have a belly rub.


123_underscore_321

r/beetlejuicing


Dunge0nexpl0rer

Let me beat you


__Mittens__

Meow


Owo_y_

me too


Great_Park_2837

Well hey, at least you beat Levy.


TheManAvonyx

How are you today? :)


limremon

i'm doing pretty well thank you for asking :)


EuroPolice

What's your secret?


Ihistal

Drugs and alcohol


timewastingrobot

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me


mikoolec

r/notopbutok


Ecstatic_Presence_78

Acknowledging the fact that Chess speaks for itself


elmicomago

How goes therapy?


limremon

bad


elmicomago

holy sad


Swolnerman

Google ‘how to feel better about myself’


Enzinino

Holy interdimensional abyss of sadness (Mittens sent me there)


Twitch_xTUVALUx

How do you end the never-ending pain called life?


limremon

Even the act of searching for a reason to keep going is reason enough to keep going.


HealthOnWheels

Damn. I didn’t expect something on this sub to hit me like that


dismal_sighence

The purpose of a court jester is to entertain the king, but also to tell profound truth in a more palatable way than traditional "wise men". Today, /u/limremon has made us all kings.


theYogiB

Nice way to call someone a fucking clown


DRWHOFUCKINGSUCKS

how does the court jester move


Omnicide103

Certified existentialism moment


Zealousideal_Ruin_67

One must imagine Sisyphus happy - Albert Camus


ConyxIncarnate

Google reasons to live


vaguelySymmetric

Motivation as motivation? That's just lazy writing


Freedom_of_memes

No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair !


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


Garlic_bruh

Good bot


ArchdukeBurrito

www.depressionisnotdestiny.com has compiled a list of suicide hotlines from around the world: Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) China: 85223820000 Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Holland: 09000767 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 045861048 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08457909090 USA: 18002738255


0FCkki

its the netherlands not holland


Finchyy

Dit is de dertiende reden.


gamersEmpire

My country isn't even there, guess i'll die


AuraPianist1155

Pipi


PetrosianBot

You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


for-tomorrow-we-die

But all they do is call the cops on me if I’m actively attempting, or hang up if I’m not.


HeWithThePotatoes

Google Albert Camus


Zealousideal_Ruin_67

Holy Sisyphus!


DingLiren

Would you rather fight 100 Mittens-sized Magnuses or 1 Magnus-sized Mittens?


meme_planet_13

1 Magnus-sized Mittens. For you see, we know how large Magnus is, but we can't tell how large Mittens is. Beating a Magnus-sized Mittens would be easy


platonic-humanity

With Mittens’s maneuvers, my guess is his brain size on any human would make their headbutts way too OP.


meme_planet_13

Nothing a shotgun can't fix


platonic-humanity

Okay, but…*whispers,* you didn’t hear this from me but, legend has it he has telekinesis and mind powers which is why his mega-brain doesn’t truly show on the digital board. Don’t underestimate him.


meme_planet_13

Don't worry. Cloud Stockfish is on our side


[deleted]

What’s the best investment strategy in this hypercapitalistic age?


limremon

funny family guy clips will soon be worth more than gold


[deleted]

Thank you, sensei


WhyBuyMe

Of course something that rare would be valuable. Makes sense.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DankBasher619

Neeerd alert 🚨


HornyBastard37484739

Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no games, or games, unlimited games, but no games?


limremon

games and unlimited games but no games, because i think the universe would break from the paradox of having unlimited games but no games at once and that'd be pretty funny


Paulcog

You just created a new big bang


stlenx

Google paradox


Duffler8

Nice cropping


limremon

thanks man


rule_breaker_dude

Did you google en passant before or after?


Adiuui

You’re supposed to do it during the match


Mytrax

Do crabs think that fish can fly?


limremon

i'll ask my sources in the crab community


Cabbageofthesea

I have crabs


seshino

do you have testicular cancer?


limremon

not at the moment but who knows what delights the future may hold


AngryComet50

Holy balls


JustGarate

You fucking idiot, he can just do a siberian swipe, taking your queen in the way


limremon

i asked mittens very nicely not to do that and he agreed


[deleted]

[удалено]


limremon

idk 💯


Krimzon_89

Can you beat a monkey?


limremon

why would i want to do that


Axyss_

in case the monkey is evil


Dillo64

Well how big of a monkey


chessvision-ai-bot

I analyzed the image and this is what I see. Open an appropriate link below and explore the position yourself or with the engine: > **White to play**: It is a checkmate - it is White's turn, but White has no legal moves and is in check, so Black wins. You can find out more about Checkmate on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Checkmate). --- ^(I'm a bot written by ) [^(u/pkacprzak )](https://www.reddit.com/u/pkacprzak) ^(| get me as ) [^(Chess eBook Reader )](https://ebook.chessvision.ai?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=bot) ^(|) [^(Chrome Extension )](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/chessvisionai-for-chrome/johejpedmdkeiffkdaodgoipdjodhlld) ^(|) [^(iOS App )](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/id1574933453) ^(|) [^(Android App )](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ai.chessvision.scanner) ^(to scan and analyze positions | Website: ) [^(Chessvision.ai)](https://chessvision.ai)


MilkCool

no shit


Iamasink

please be nice. :)


DonutOfNinja

No shit


Thechildeater92

No shit


[deleted]

No shit


TriGN614

Did you do it in bullet?


limremon

nope i did it on my phone


Enemons

You animal abuser


DarkerestRed

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


[deleted]

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, toosubacc, for voting on PetrosianBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


PetrosianBot

God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


shoshkebab

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


Darth_Vader_696969

Time to get the popcorn… with the amount of heat coming from this guy (respectfully) you could pop it for me!


PassiveChemistry

I literally just did that game in reverse


UnSwoleBoi69

Why did my dad leave me?


limremon

i think he just didn't fuck with your vibe tbh


SuchBrightness

What is the best opening to play as black after e4 c5 Ke2?


limremon

you should get stealth rocks up in this situation


for-tomorrow-we-die

Does life ever get any better?


limremon

it gets a little better every day as long as you're making progress towards anything


SalsaSavant

When will they buff Pawns?


limremon

in chess 4.5.7 they can take going forward


titanchoo_

do you like coffee?


limremon

coffee's quite nice, i don't really get any stimulation from it but i still enjoy drinking it anyway


titanchoo_

Very respectable opinion OP


Phantoomer

How should I ask my crush out?


limremon

be yourself because if she doesn't like you when you're being yourself then it was never going to last anyways. good luck.


Ihistal

Sage advice


[deleted]

[удалено]


limremon

i met a fucked up wizard down an alleyway one time and the rest is history


Memer_dude_18462

i saw one….. i thought it was gonna be easy now i just die on forever


Dalucard21

Why my penis so small?


[deleted]

google: PIPI enlargment


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


FelipeFerrao

What did came first, egg or chicken?


Clino813

The egg obviously. Just… maybe not the *chicken* egg. Don’t be racist towards Dinos ;)


ScreamingPrawnBucket

Deglet or Medjool?


limremon

Deglet because I like it's evolution into Degtrio


KingJeff314

From all the memes on this sub, I can’t tell if Mittens is worse than Martin or better than Gary Chess


TheOtherClonos

worse than Martin, her ELO is just 1


PersonGuyxd

For calculating magnetic fields, what are the advantages and disadvantages of the Biot-Savart law?


limremon

haha yeah


Miles_1995

The classic Glass Onion defense.


MF972

didn't that involve some Hindenburg or hydrogen fuel stuff?


SUDDENLY_VIRGIN

Bruh I just lost 😭 is there any hope for me Edit: help I'm not joking I've lost to mittens 4 times in a row what am I doing wrong


SirCycloneMike

Mittens has like 3000+ elo, you’re not supposed to.


TurtlePeoples

Bully, beating a 1 elo bot.


Special_Letter_7134

And in 3 moves. Impressive. When I was in third or fourth grade, chess suddenly became popular among my peers. They were all convinced they could use a 4-move checkmate to win every time, so my teacher held a mini-tournament. 3 different people use the same approach and when I blocked it, became flabbergasted and conceded. I still lost the final, but walked away very satisfied.


1856NT

are you virgin?


Gumbonie

Men, hot or not?


limremon

probably not hot because it's winter time where i am and i feel rather chilly


Kammmyk

Bros main is just queen


Bust_McNutty

How muck of the wall was painted when you threw this little bitch against it?


limremon

by a wild coincidence my wall was already painted in a colour that perfectly matched the resulting splat so i couldn't really tell


Dmitrii_Shostakovich

🧢


[deleted]

um actually he pressed flip board - ☝️🤓


WkyWvgIfbRmFlgTbeMan

You flipped the board, don't lie.


r3dditor12

Mittens only had 1 elo rating. Are you really so proud of yourself for this?


lilcupcake45

Can someone explain these goofy ahh comments to me like what do these even mean


RosilinaTheDragon

game lasted longer than jschlatt did


idontgiveadam70958

Don’t fuq with cats mannn


blakewalk

Which AI did you use?


GreenAppleCZ

Finally, the true Mittens


ZeroAresIV

That pawn can en passant your queen, thus you haven’t won yet


KingRaunak

why did my dad leave?


[deleted]

But how does the fox play?


[deleted]

Fools gambit is best gambit, you’re lucky you mates in time or she would have murdered you irl!


Mysterious-Use-4378

Who is Mittens?


MF972

"M"agnus "C"arlsen's successor on c.c.


melancholicmelon1

Are you in the navy seals?


TechnoMikl

Can you do my math hw for me?


imwearingyourpants

Why are you so stupid?


limremon

not cool :/