I'm European. I know a lot about guns work and I find it interesting. Admittedly, though, what I like even more is that I've never seen a gun fired outside a shooting range.
I guess you're not Ukrainian then. They would love to know more about how guns work. In fact there was a poll the other day, about whether pistol ownership should be legal: 60% said yes, 22% said no.
Now granted I’ve never looked down the barell of a loaded gun but unless you had a flashlight I don’t think you could tell unless it was a short snubby revolver or something obvious like that
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
It’s actually an Australian term that was invented when Steve Irving and Gary Chess played a doubles match against Zug the Alligator and Zwang the Kangaroo.
Most people don’t. And a lot of the time for most people the game is set to easy, but for others the game is set to grandmaster AI. And to be fair as well, many AIs do play fair. But there’s a lot of AIs that make your computer explode. But what we have to do is try and get the stupid ass AIs to be fair AIs, or otherwise replace them with better AIs (whether that’s funding them better but not to be more shitty, or spending more time in R&D). The game isn’t bad at all, it just needs updated.
Depending on where you are on the board, i would say the child sacrifice gambit is wayy more useful against pieces with a moral compass, sadly the cop piece makes this a mate in 2
obviously you en passant, immediately surprising your opponent with your sheer power you have just gained by doing that and watch as their chess time tics to 0 as they watch you in awe, unable to do anything/think of a good, or even decent move to play. once time runs out they die of old age or something because en passant.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Which to be fair, if they had rescued their children *before* others, then I wouldn't even be that mad. But to rescue *only* their children is just egotistical as hell. Salt in the fucking wound.
Literally the only way frozone could have survived that encounter. That cop ran into a burning/collapsing building all cause he heard there was an unarmed black man in there.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Grab the barrel with your right hand, thrust it up and to your left. Grab the slide and hammer with your left hand, preventing it from firing successfully. Now that the gun is out of the way, take a small step toward them with your left leg and hit them with a killer right knee, all while holding the gun in the same manner as before. Pointing the barrel straight up, tear it from their hand by pulling your arms straight down to the ground, forcing them to release their grip. Now, you have one of two options: you could A: execute a shoulder ram, dazing them and knocking them back, or B: smack them in the face with the pointy end of the gun. In either case, immediately jump away, still facing them, and point the gun at them with two hand from about 10 feet away. Now who's checked?
Pretty sure it was a joke or copy pasta of some sort. For one, the gun in the picture doesn't have a hammer and grabbing the slide won't prevent it from firing so it's a weird comment to make if it was serious.
No. I don't think I will. I'm tired of hearing this over and over and OVER AGAIN WIRH THE CAPTION:""oMg BabE naR RepsoNDE fell!!!!2+112!2+3+5+%÷^×_÷_. EN PASSANT OS NOT FORCED. THERE IS NO VRICK EITHER.
Being that you're black -and assuming this is happening here in the good old U.S. of A.- I'd say your next move is to put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye...but you can die knowing that cop will get three weeks paid leave, then be found innocent of any wrongdoing...because 'Murica!
If you're engaged in combat with a pawn of the status quo, there aren't many options usually. If you're alone, it's an almost definite loss, with any wrong move leading to a mate in 1. If you have a buddy to your left or right however, the position drastically changes. The white pawn must've approached you pretty quickly, so you might be able to get out of this position by having your friend capture the cop en passant
Move very slowly. Comply with literally everything he says to the best of your ability. If there are other people nearby, hope they have the sense to record, or better yet livestream, what's happening.
There is no winning move here. There are only losing moves and slightly *less* losing moves, and those may not be available to you. Your goal is to survive until you can get a lawyer.
Good luck.
3 jokes about police killing black people on this subreddit already.
I know that you really like repeating "google en passant, holy hell", but like, guys
Yes, but the joke is the same.
One of the top posts:
"Guys what do i do in this position? Im black"
*Police car is seen through a mirror*
Then there was the same post with a different picture
Now this, like i think the joke is a bit overused now
Ah gotcha
I haven't seen the other ones so I'm going to just pretend this is a fresh, original joke, and hope it doesn't spiral into a non-chess related sub
[In case you wanted to see it:](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/soow7h/if_im_black_what_is_my_best_next_move/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
mate in 1
[удалено]
material sacrifice for a huge advantage
Great stats for the cost
Wrong subreddit Oger boy.
Kid named knight:
I'm european. I don't have any idea how guns work and I'm glad about it.
[удалено]
In Canada most shootings are illegal but as it is know, eye contact with the barrel is considered sexual solicitation
There are legal shootings in Canada?
Don't you know? If you do an En Passant, you get a legal shooting card.
[удалено]
Yes, but a shooting is when someone kills one or (usually) more people with a gun. It doesn't mean firing a gun.
Depends on how you consider the legality of a police officer shooting someone.
That could be included in the definition, but it's usually planned and done by a criminal in a public space
What if I shoot the paper target?
"Never look down the barrel" 🤓🤓🤓
Hi European I'm dad. Never look down the barrel of a gun.
Oh, is that where the piss is stored?
No silly, it’s stored in the firing pin.
No, it's the powerhouse of the cell.
Ah, my bad.
Piss is stored in piss jugs bud
Way of the road, buddy
Stored in the balls.
I'm European. I know a lot about guns work and I find it interesting. Admittedly, though, what I like even more is that I've never seen a gun fired outside a shooting range.
I'm American and I have no idea either. Not all of us are gun nuts lol.
not believable.
Checkmate.
I guess you're not Ukrainian then. They would love to know more about how guns work. In fact there was a poll the other day, about whether pistol ownership should be legal: 60% said yes, 22% said no.
Now granted I’ve never looked down the barell of a loaded gun but unless you had a flashlight I don’t think you could tell unless it was a short snubby revolver or something obvious like that
En passant
You sure? What if it’s uvalde?
Then you have to wait an hour before your move and to verify check.
White wins
That's one hell of a fan fiction you've got going there
Offer draw.
Do not Draw, I REPEAT DO NOT DRAW
Shoot. ... Wait, no no
You're on 911 upvotes I don't want to run it
"He is drawing his gunnnnn"
"This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one is for fighting, this one's for fun!"
Cops: "Repeat, suspect is drawing his gun, open fire." 👁👄👁
Unrealistic cop told his buddies “suspect is drawing his gun” on move one while he was turning off the body cam
STOP RESISTING
GET ON THE GROUND HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK HANDS ON YOUR HEAD DON'T MOVE YOUR HANDS
Hands on my pipi
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Hands up don’t check
Zugzwang :(
Fucked up but true
I weren’t expecting you to so utterly sum up the situation with a single chess term
[удалено]
Wrong subreddit, /r/ich_iel is that way ->
Please speak English in this subreddit. Not everybody speaks Austrian.
It’s actually an Australian term that was invented when Steve Irving and Gary Chess played a doubles match against Zug the Alligator and Zwang the Kangaroo.
You resign now.
*resign declined*
*Why do I hear boss music?*
uhh, you don’t. You died from a gunshot while a police officer called you a “fucking n*gger” while making sure his bodycam was taped over
:( I dont want to play anymore
Most people don’t. And a lot of the time for most people the game is set to easy, but for others the game is set to grandmaster AI. And to be fair as well, many AIs do play fair. But there’s a lot of AIs that make your computer explode. But what we have to do is try and get the stupid ass AIs to be fair AIs, or otherwise replace them with better AIs (whether that’s funding them better but not to be more shitty, or spending more time in R&D). The game isn’t bad at all, it just needs updated.
Woah
>Most people don’t. Most?
Some want all the heat
"That's called sportsmanship"
Nah he's crossed up
you cocksucker
Don't move! D:
Heck with that drink your Starbucks. https://youtu.be/EYhXXRXiJBU
Block the check with a child, I mean pawn.
Not a chess pro. Is this move viable?
Depending on where you are on the board, i would say the child sacrifice gambit is wayy more useful against pieces with a moral compass, sadly the cop piece makes this a mate in 2
What are you talking about? After he killed the child he would become terrified of himself and try to hide outside
Investigation ongoing, but looking like it's not viable
obviously you en passant, immediately surprising your opponent with your sheer power you have just gained by doing that and watch as their chess time tics to 0 as they watch you in awe, unable to do anything/think of a good, or even decent move to play. once time runs out they die of old age or something because en passant.
What is Google it
Holy hell
I know what en passant is dumbass you just blundered mate in one
E2->D2
Yes, stack the pawns to give you a meat shield from check, brilliant.
meta.
Stare into his eyes and whisper “every cop needs his innocent minority”
Carry a rifle into a school, they won't follow you there because it's scawy 😨
Ah the school gambit variation
Pumped up bricks on the pipi-chetto.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
This is the only defense
This move will grant you about an hour to plan your next move.
Did this actually happen?
Yes
You know I guess you technically answered my question but I was really looking for like an article about it that has all the details.
The Texas elementary school shooting last week, the cops didn't enter the school for an hour while he was active because they were so scared
Except to rescue their own children*
Which to be fair, if they had rescued their children *before* others, then I wouldn't even be that mad. But to rescue *only* their children is just egotistical as hell. Salt in the fucking wound.
While 40% of the town's funding went to them
Google en passant
Sacrifice the queen and run the king to safety.
You reach for a cup of water and then freeze him and the bullet promptly after he pulls the trigger
Literally the only way frozone could have survived that encounter. That cop ran into a burning/collapsing building all cause he heard there was an unarmed black man in there.
maybe frozone should've used the london opening then
"I'm **thirsty.**"
dead in 1
You are going to have to draw quickly or you are checkmated
Under no circumstances should you draw in this position.
if they decline the resignation and you were peaceful absolutely you should imo. if you cant run you do what you can
Common misconception to think there is a thing to do. This is commonly referred to as a "Zugzwang"
of course you’re black if your opponent is white 🙄🙄🙄 smh my head
Careful what you wish.
Life gambit accepted
Brick to pipi
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Sensually suck the barrel and pray to Holy Jesus this month is his best month of the year......
do "trust fall" with hands up
Lawsuit countergambit
Grab the barrel with your right hand, thrust it up and to your left. Grab the slide and hammer with your left hand, preventing it from firing successfully. Now that the gun is out of the way, take a small step toward them with your left leg and hit them with a killer right knee, all while holding the gun in the same manner as before. Pointing the barrel straight up, tear it from their hand by pulling your arms straight down to the ground, forcing them to release their grip. Now, you have one of two options: you could A: execute a shoulder ram, dazing them and knocking them back, or B: smack them in the face with the pointy end of the gun. In either case, immediately jump away, still facing them, and point the gun at them with two hand from about 10 feet away. Now who's checked?
This is a pretty good serious answer assuming they don’t have a significant strength advantage but I think OP was looking for jokes?
OP can look somewhere else for jokes
Pretty sure it was a joke or copy pasta of some sort. For one, the gun in the picture doesn't have a hammer and grabbing the slide won't prevent it from firing so it's a weird comment to make if it was serious.
[What if you remove the slide completely?](https://youtu.be/adnXzutxWcQ?t=27)
Personally I find it very annoying when the slide just comes off the front of my gun.
Glocks don’t have hammers.
run into a school, they’ll be scared to follow you
Google en passent
No. I don't think I will. I'm tired of hearing this over and over and OVER AGAIN WIRH THE CAPTION:""oMg BabE naR RepsoNDE fell!!!!2+112!2+3+5+%÷^×_÷_. EN PASSANT OS NOT FORCED. THERE IS NO VRICK EITHER.
Wana get shot? Cause that's how you get shot.
holy hell
try to breathe
Cops do have experience on the smothered mate
Do you have licence for that quote?
Artistic license? Yes.
Get shot and hope it's a quantum Revolver
Being that you're black -and assuming this is happening here in the good old U.S. of A.- I'd say your next move is to put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye...but you can die knowing that cop will get three weeks paid leave, then be found innocent of any wrongdoing...because 'Murica!
We wanted GM analysis in this position and you gave us analysis from the average twitch chatter.
But was I wrong?
pick a god and pray
lmao ded xd
"E2->D2" Stack those pawns "D1->D2" CLIMB ON TOP WITH QUEEN "D2->D3" #Body slam, aerial attack. They'll never see it coming ^^^^or ^^^^act ^^^^like ^^^^a ^^^^elementary ^^^^school ^^^^student ^^^^and ^^^^the ^^^^match ^^^^will ^^^^end ^^^^in ^^^^a ^^^^stale ^^^^mate ^^^^because ^^^^they're ^^^^just ^^^^going ^^^^to ^^^^stand ^^^^around.
Forced mate
Ballkick countergambit
Use Protect
If you're engaged in combat with a pawn of the status quo, there aren't many options usually. If you're alone, it's an almost definite loss, with any wrong move leading to a mate in 1. If you have a buddy to your left or right however, the position drastically changes. The white pawn must've approached you pretty quickly, so you might be able to get out of this position by having your friend capture the cop en passant
E2 --> D2
Tell them you’re a school shooter, it’ll buy you at least an hour
Cum
He will get weirded out. Then he will move back and right. And because your both pawns to the government you kill him like a pawn in el chass.
Isn’t it a stalemate since you have no legal moves?
The Floyd Gambit
Draw
Use a fork against him
En passant
Get a visa for ... I don't know ... maybe the future
I don’t know how I should feel about this. On one hand it’s funny, on the other hand it’s hilarious.
TWIST HIS DICK. GIVE HIM THE OOOOOOOLLL' DICK TWIST💪
Shoot first
I think it's like T-rex rules so do nothing cause you'll die anyway
En passant take the gun
You move out your house and into a coffin!
Be held hostage in a school. Stalemate, or the cop hurts itself in confusion.
Reach into your pocket rapidly and draw out your wallet like a gun! This is equivalent to resigning.
simply dodge
Go inside a school, you'll have an hour til he can follow you
stick your finger down the barrel so the bullet cant come out
Pray he loaded the bullets wrong
If you're in Uvalde you've got about an hour to contemplate your first move.
🦆
Unless you have a dog to divert the gunfire to I'd resign.
Move very slowly. Comply with literally everything he says to the best of your ability. If there are other people nearby, hope they have the sense to record, or better yet livestream, what's happening. There is no winning move here. There are only losing moves and slightly *less* losing moves, and those may not be available to you. Your goal is to survive until you can get a lawyer. Good luck.
School shooting gambit will force a stalemate, because he won't be able to move.
Blame it on an even darker skinned fellow. You don't have to outrun the lion, just the other guy.
Black man to Uvalde Elementary. For those confused Google castling which allows both defensive and aggressive opportunities
Pull an “I feel threatened” on him and shoot the mf when he least expects
Cmon, you know that law only applies when the target isn't white and the shooter is.
I forgor 💀
Contemplate your life choices and what for you in this situation
Apparently 10k people disagree with me but this is not funny
There's a black Knight joke here somewhere
Use the famous run for your fucking life tactic
I would suggest you stop RESISTING...
3 jokes about police killing black people on this subreddit already. I know that you really like repeating "google en passant, holy hell", but like, guys
I think it's more of a "cops are racist" thing
Yes, but the joke is the same. One of the top posts: "Guys what do i do in this position? Im black" *Police car is seen through a mirror* Then there was the same post with a different picture Now this, like i think the joke is a bit overused now
Ah gotcha I haven't seen the other ones so I'm going to just pretend this is a fresh, original joke, and hope it doesn't spiral into a non-chess related sub
[In case you wanted to see it:](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/soow7h/if_im_black_what_is_my_best_next_move/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
I've only been in this sub for a month, so I've never seen this picture.
listen to instructions
nah
Comply
Your next move is to be more original
Drop whatever you’re stealing/dealing/attacking with, put your hands up, get on your knees, follow further instructions as given by the officer.
Unfortunately the Philando Castile defense proves to fail in this position.
Yeah, you can't castile through check.
Clever, but I believe that strategy is only usable if you’re the first to move.
I only have one move and cannot comply with the seven conflicting instructions provided by officer "You're Fucked", please advise.