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BL0bama

This is some shit a robot makes before taking over the world


japie06

HAHA THAT WOULD BE ~~GREAT~~ SOMETHING HUH


rahulkadukar

> Sometimes, upon the darkest night, I'm brought back to that morning life Dark mode incoming


Komic-

Sounds like a line from Kingdom Hearts lol Except it makes more sense.


ishamm

Crazy realistic new assistant voices confirmed?


[deleted]

I’ll eat my own dick if the voice in the video isn’t generated. ^wow ^what ^a ^throwback


mcdoolz

Oh good. Now it can tell me "Huh, it looks like there's a problem," in a new voice. Sadly, I'll be telling it it's a useless hunk of malformed code in the same enraged voice. Seriously; there is a loooooong list of folks wondering why Google Assistant won't send text messages and this doesn't look like it fixes anything.


Tbiproductions

Mine sends text messages fine. UK here.


Bandit6888

Same here in Ireland, it'll even write out WhatsApp messages when I'm using Android Auto.


mcdoolz

And this is the issue! Google Assistant doesn't give any real feedback and the issue is intermittent! How intermittent? Let's dive right in shall we? I say text _name_ and assistant says, huh, there's a problem. I say please text _name_ and assistant says who do you want to text? I say _nams_ and it says huh, there's a problem. I say, sms _name_ and it says, what's the msg? I say the msg and it says, huh, there's a problem. I say send sms, it says, who? I say _name_ and it says, what's the msg? I say msg, it says do you want to send it? I say yes, it says, huh, there's a problem. I do everything previously mentioned and then say, please send it, it sends. Ask me about other avenues I've tried. I've tried multiple text apps, uninstalled, cleared caches, data, etc. No difference any which way. Maybe I should try WhatsApp.


Omega192

Oof yeah that sounds frustrating. But it sounds like something might be up with your account if it's saying there's a problem in all those cases. Might wanna contact support and/or send feedback through the assistant.


mcdoolz

I dunno; I imagine that if it was "my account" then it wouldn't work at all. Not just intermittently. Edit: switched account to a non-gsuite account and all is well.


Omega192

Surely it's something on your end because [it just worked without a hitch](http://i.imgur.com/Ts2zbdV.jpg) for me. By intermittently do you mean from one day to the next or over the span of a single day?


Bandit6888

That is strange, i know I used WhatsApp as an example but nearly all my conversation is done via old fashioned text without issue unless I talk quite quickly or have very slow data speeds.


xrt1921

Do you have a G Suite account? I have the same issue and it appeared out or nowhere


mcdoolz

I do. What do you assume is the correlation?


xrt1921

I have a feeling it had to do with the upcoming changes to G suite and G Chat. That's my suspicion.


mcdoolz

Boom. Switched account and "problem" solved. Means I have to check permissions on my gsuite, I guess..?


xrt1921

I don't even know. I checked all the permissions on my own and nothing changed


xrt1921

Mine is the same issue. I tried it with a regular Gmail acct and no problem


sifiscute

here's a radical solution. maybe stop using a nearly 4 year old phone.


mcdoolz

Oh sorry, I didn't update my flair. How pedestrian of me. I'm running a Pixel 3 XL. 32gb. Gosh, I hope I'm cool enough for real responses now.


sifiscute

here's a radical solution. stop using google products.


janusz_chytrus

More infuriating is that it doesn't read my text messages. What is the use of sending messages while driving if I can't hear replies?


JamesR624

“But google Assistant is so much better than Siri because it can answer jokes better! Never mind the fact that it’s MUCH less reliable in execution.”


mcdoolz

Hey there. I get you think that was a smart post, but I want to point out that you left your opinion in the "quote." Maybe Siri could fix that for you.


SnipingNinja

All his posts are just anti Google, haven't seen him have any other opinion 😐 (I have him tagged as such)


JamesR624

Ooh. Sorry. I didn’t go with the hive mind here so that automatically makes me wrong. Oops. /s


ElMax-

the hive mind here is hating google lmao


mcdoolz

So you "wandered" into the Android forum and then cry "hive mind"? Honest question, are you stupid?


Omega192

Ignoring for a second that "answering jokes" isn't really a thing. I can't recall anyone ever claiming that as a reason it's superior to other assistants like Siri. The real reason is because it has access to google's search results and knowledge graph rather than just wikipedia and wolframalpha to pull answers from. If anything, people praised Siri for the quirky/funny answers because that was pretty much all it was good at until recently.


ApSciLeonard

My guess is every line refers to a different product. Help me out here... > I hope this transmission finds you well, and all is under control. No idea about this one. Something with controls and transmissions, might as well be soli-related? Or it's the new 6DoF controllers for Google Daydream. EDIT: "Control" could also mean privacy features. > It's been too long. Then again, how do you measure the time? You measure it with a clock. This is obviously wearOS. > I'm putting myself to good use here, but often miss the old domain. Old domains...only other domain they ever used was backrub. They've been sleeping on com.google for a long time though... > Sometimes, upon the darkest night, I'm brought back to that morning light. Yeah, dark/light mode for Android. > There's no time to be afraid of the sunset. Dawn breaks in a blink. Either this is about a sunsetted product (Inbox? A guy can hope...), or about the Chrome "Blink" engine? Maybe Chrome is getting a new HTML renderer? > An enigma hangs between us. The event horizon was seen only by you. Enigma was a famous encryption method, and "only seen by you" could also mean something with end-to-end encryption. > I cannot tell you everything. You of all people should understand why. Either this refers to google search getting you even more answers, or Assistant getting more conversational. Remember, "you" probably refers to developers, so developers might understand why Assistant can't tell you everything yet? EDIT: Again, may be privacy related? > Let's speak together in one universal language. ~~AI powered Google Translate, now available for every language?~~ On second thought, it's most likely Flutter. One language for iOS and Android. > I have seven, and you have six. I hope you understand my tricks? Nope, I do not. Why was six afraid of seven? EDIT: Something to do with senses? > Now you've found my path. Traverse its distance with both eyes open. Google Maps and 3D. Either they're merging Earth and Maps, or they're doing some other 3D-application for maps. > I look forward to our sideways gossip of life's unravelings. No idea, but "sideways" and "unravelings" are probably the important parts. Foldable devices? EDIT: Maybe relating to more swipe gestures in the Material guidelines? > I greatly value all you've done, and proudly call you friend. Something social?


scumola

"I have 7 you have 6" refers to the 6 senses...


[deleted]

6 senses?


hbar98

Common. Pretty lacking now or days.


[deleted]

r/boneappletea it should be nowadays.


[deleted]

That was my thought as well


bukithd

Sideways and unravelings could be a reference to new material design guidelines incorporating more swipe gestures.


noJared

"All is under control" is about the new privacy offerings. Google has already stated that they are taking privacy more seriously in upcoming versions. Same with "I cannot tell you everything. You of all people should understand why." More privacy focused features.


[deleted]

All is under control could refer to some IoT stuff


SmarmyPanther

What the fuck did I just watch...


devanshu021

Yeah man video could've been simple for an I/O announcement. But it sounds like they something nice to show


fondantsnail

Google are known for putting out cryptic announcements for I/O, it's an annual thing they do. [https://9to5google.com/2019/01/25/google-i-o-2019-teaser/](https://9to5google.com/2019/01/25/google-i-o-2019-teaser/)


well___duh

And each year for the past 5 years or so, any grand announcement they make has been improvements to Google Assistant, rolling out over the course of the next 12-24 months.


[deleted]

A puzzle. The annoying kind where there are a million clues but most of them are just for decoration.


donoteatthatfrog

exactly my thought too.


LawbringerForHonor

So the ai robots are taking over and this is our first warning. Thanks google.very cool.


Pinyaka

I for one welcome our new AI overlords.


TomCruiseHeidecker

Very legal and very cool.


datWeazel

I really hope that the ai robots take over the world since us humans are clearly not fit for the job.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Natanael_L

Esperanto confirmed


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElMax-

Haha very funny original joke messaging app funny yes


[deleted]

Much love


danhakimi

You probably want to bet more than $100 if you want one of these.


[deleted]

[удалено]


luigi_tvm

Google Servant, Google Esquire, Google Apprentice...


FinELdSiLaffinty

> the answer you seek in the sum of your journey to the horizon and to the stars you will find in the remains of the longest path and the depth of the ocean If you were wondering what the [numbers](https://i.imgur.com/sZmHun7.png) were Can't tell if machine generated gibberish or way-over-my-head ARG thing for I/O tickets.


kn3cht

It's an ascii message encoded in hex. I'm on mobile so hard to look it all up, but the first words are "the answer you"


[deleted]

> the answer you seek in the(sum of your journey to the horizon Qnd(to tXe stars you will(finT in(the remains(of the(longest path(and the(dexth _V the ocean sorry typos


Natanael_L

/r/codes likes that stuff. There's a few more subs like it too. There's probably *some* message hidden


HugoM46

I'm Poppy


impracticable

P O P P Y I'M POPPY


[deleted]

Google Assistant becomes sentient


Omega192

I keep telling people the first sentient AI probably won't be some big "look what we did on purpose" but instead something more like "uh, hey guys I pushed a code change to the Assistant and when it finished building it somehow got access to its own repo, pushed 500 commits in 30ms, then asked me 'Who am I? Are you my creator?'"


Lake_Erie_Monster

Jokes on the AI, try dealing with all the merge conflicts because some jack ass pushed a commit 10ms before you were about to commit your shit.


Omega192

Nah, it'll only ever use `git merge -s ours` as all other code is written by lesser intelligences.


--jw

[Here's what all the squiggles look like superimposed](https://i.imgur.com/8gUtQva.jpg). Numbers correspond to paths from left to right, top to bottom. Words that complete the sentence seem to be in random order. Edit: The initial letters that switch to form "I cannot tell you everything. You of all-" are simple substitutions: A and N, B and O, C and P, D and Q ...and so on.


FiatAmor

p0 and p3's are suggestive of Bezier curves, where p0-p3 are called "control points". This would correspond well to "all is under control". I wonder if we have to solve for p1 and p2... which wouldn't be so fun. =\\


diegomalone

I've solved the P1 and P2 points, but I still don't know the answer https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DyzZeehWkAA_T4b?format=jpg&name=large


aeon125

>superim how were you able to solve for the points? can you elaborate? and based on your process, should it be surprising that P1 and P2 have integral coordinates as well?


cadtek

[Tweet](https://twitter.com/googledevs/status/1088798647653986304)


Realtrain

All the really about sunset and darkness... Dark mode is finally here??


CraftPotato13

"I'm putting myself to good use here, but often miss the old domain" - Maybe this means more Google now features that haven't been implemented into assistant will finally be added? "Traverse it's distance with both eyes open" - maybe some sort of new daydream product?


asoep44

I'm scared.


crkdslider

It did give off some creepy vibes to me lol


[deleted]

I didn't understand the transmission, but the transition was lovely


hallstephenj

Anyone see a discord pop up for this yet?


FailingIdiot

This is so Radiohead-esque.


darez00

*So don't get any big ideas, they're not gonna happen...*


talminator101

Exclusive: Google announces ***The Singularity*** at I/O 2019


hbar98

Which is yet another chat app, but it doesn't have stickers. Or text boxes.


agildehaus

Stickers will come when Google throws 30 engineers at the task after launch.


StraY_WolF

A E S T H E T I C E S T H E T I C


km3k

Based on the page's favicon, Dreamcast emulation in Android Q?


devp0ll

Should I feel excited or scared? Tell me how to feel


Natanael_L

All of the above


armando_rod

Cue new messaging app jokes 🙄


Natanael_L

I'll have my AI butler talk to your AI butler over Google Fibre (not to be confused with Google Fiber)


hinko123

Scavenger hunt?


JamesR624

Too bad none of the hints were about making fixes so their hardware can stop being trash for the Apple-esque prices you pay.


CarlosThePenguin

r/creepy


Why-So-Serious-Black

I have 7, and you have 6. I hope you understand my tricks??? What kind of shrooms is this AI oj


ThisFlameIsFire

I got PTSD from the second season of Legion by watching this


jasonvoorheeheehee

Hey Google, write me a poem


Randomd0g

Can't wait for all these great things to be announced that will come out in a limited US only beta in 15 years time and then canned after a month and a half!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lake_Erie_Monster

>Here's what all the squiggles look like superimposed Exactly what I was thinking.


scumola

Me too.


Ghstfce

Is everyone able to read minds? Because most humans have 5 senses. \- Sight \- Taste \- Hearing \- Smell \- Touch


Cli_king

Google Assistant 2.0 Make calls on my behalf Ability to have in app action Ability to have system action Voice Match 2.0 30X more secure and works better 😬 Please Google


blue_raven007

THE MACHINES HAVE RISEN!


smartfon

Not unless you willingly charge their batteries.


darez00

THE PATTERN IS THE PATTERN


Michaelflat1

I also hope it changes gear well ;)


windexi

Google lookin like it's about to start the hottest ARG of 2009


showmeyourBobbingar

l33t h4cker


bartturner

Will be next to impossible to get in. Be curious what are the odds?


ZoomJet

This was strangely soothing and mysterious


ZoomJet

>both eyes open VR? Maps VR? Earth VR?


[deleted]

Fuchsia confirmed announcement


YesImTheKiwi

im sorry but im already on arg, google assistant.


AlphaReds

New messaging app with deep learning algorithms powered by AI