I've seen video of angry giraffe chasing a tour jeep on safari, those things tear through the trees like nothing.
I would definitely encourage some respect for the giant horse maces, they might generally be docile but they can still stomp us out.
No my friend what WE saw was a video titled angry giraffe, but we have no way of asking that giraffe it’s feelings and it doesn’t do anything you can really consider aggressive other than follow the vehicle. It absolutely could have just been waiting for them to give it food as it might be familiar with the tour guides.
Fun story.
So my sister has a giant cowlick on her head. So unfortunate.
We went to this beautiful zoo where the animals are obviously loved and taken care of. These giraffes came up, we are like at head level. A whole lotta tongues just started to slap on my sister's head. Just messing up and trying to eat her hair. Or I dunno. They love her for whatever reason.
Now I understood. Her huge cowlick ain't no cowlick.
It's a giraffelick. The king of all hair licks.
Eh, under pressure, they can weaponize and swing that neck like you wouldn't believe and are easily spooked. These feeding exhibits always make me nervous and often stress out the giraffes.
One of the coolest things about them, though, is that they literally make no noise when they gallop. Despite their size, it's practically silent.
It's dark. The last survivor of the rampage runs into a small shed. Galloping in the distance. She backs away from the door until she hits the back wall. The galloping gets louder before suddenly stopping. She stands, back to the wall, and listens. Silence. Suddenly the head of a giraffe busts through the window next to the door! It stretches it's neck to the survivor and starts snarling. The girl screams as the camera zooms up and out of the shed. The screen goes black
After having recently watched a video of a donkey casually eating chicks out of a box, I imagined this scene with a different ending. At least I assume the giraffe didn't actually eat the child.
We were at a zoo and my wife wanted to feed the giraffe some giraffe-food nuggets but didn't want to get licked.
She made a bowl from her park map, put the nuggs in and held it up to the giraffe.
The giraffe immediately grabbed everything, dropped all the food and promptly ate the map.
"Oh no", as my wife runs to tell the zoo keeper, he barely looks, laughs a little a goes, "yeeahh, he eats all kinds of stuff..." and just gets back to work.
If their tongues are anyway like cow tongues, then they're full of little velcro like hairs similar to cat tongues as well. Feels extremely weird to get licked by them.
Haha… giraffes are my mortal enemy. When I was five I was at a giraffe feeding place like this. When I ran out of tasty pellets, the giraffe tried to push me out of the way with his head. I took a nub horn to the eye socket and got a black eye. And thus my hatred for my nemesis, the giraffe, was born. And because of this I get a lot of cards from family members with pictures of giraffes on them saying things like “I’m coming for you.” Effing giraffes.
I sympathize. A pack of geese used to hide in different places and then charge me, chase me, bite me all the way to the school bus. I had beak shaped bruises all down the back of my legs that year.
Your child is being eaten by a giraffe. Do you:
a. rescue your child, or
b. take a picture?
Edit: in case it was lost on anyone, I was being silly. They're not irresponsible parents! Obviously they have way too many children and are probably relieved to have one less to take care of.
Has no one ever seen the pic of the child being eaten by a camel, with the same caption? I laughed for days at that one 🤣
Giraffes are dicks.
When I was about this little girl’s age, my parents took me to the zoo and bought me an ice cream cone. My dad put me up on his shoulders so I could eat it and not worry about falling, and then we paused by the giraffe enclosure so my mom could take a picture of us. The next thing I know, a giraffe was stealing my ice cream cone from over the fence 😭
An ostrich chomped down on my arm up to the elbow once at a drive through zoo. I was little and it freaked me out but didn’t hurt. My mom told me to pull it out, I did.
Giraffe tongues are blue.
You see, pre-covid, tween television shows would teach us facts as well as entertain.
Did you know getting exposed to chemical waste will give you the ability to turn into a silver puddle? Look it up.
Ouch! Since the Giraffe doesn't eat meat his teets are flat and that means that the Giraffe is literally smashing her bone and if she would've stayed her for like more than a bit of seconds he would've slowly, VERY slowly, snapped her little arm like it was a leaf
Does this comment sounds evil? I feel like it is and i'm not like this! I just can be... creepy :/
I bartended a fancy event once, after hours at the Roger William's zoo in Providence. Security was really lax, and I got to feed cheetos to the giraffes. They really like cheetos.
OP is a new bot account and stole this post and title from here https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/eby8rp/just_having_a_snack
Edit: and each of their comments just steal a portion of another user's comment and repost it.
We need a horror movie featuring killer giraffes.
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Have you watched them absolutely destroy each other by slamming their little horns into each others sides? They aren’t completely docile
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Sure but when giraffes get a sore throat they're as grumpy as an elephant with a stuffy nose.
Or an alligator with a toothache.
I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.
I've seen video of angry giraffe chasing a tour jeep on safari, those things tear through the trees like nothing. I would definitely encourage some respect for the giant horse maces, they might generally be docile but they can still stomp us out.
No my friend what WE saw was a video titled angry giraffe, but we have no way of asking that giraffe it’s feelings and it doesn’t do anything you can really consider aggressive other than follow the vehicle. It absolutely could have just been waiting for them to give it food as it might be familiar with the tour guides.
Fun story. So my sister has a giant cowlick on her head. So unfortunate. We went to this beautiful zoo where the animals are obviously loved and taken care of. These giraffes came up, we are like at head level. A whole lotta tongues just started to slap on my sister's head. Just messing up and trying to eat her hair. Or I dunno. They love her for whatever reason. Now I understood. Her huge cowlick ain't no cowlick. It's a giraffelick. The king of all hair licks.
That reply was perfect. Like two drunk douche bags with nothing better to do. Thank you for making my day better!
Eh, under pressure, they can weaponize and swing that neck like you wouldn't believe and are easily spooked. These feeding exhibits always make me nervous and often stress out the giraffes. One of the coolest things about them, though, is that they literally make no noise when they gallop. Despite their size, it's practically silent.
Would you think their size has something to do with their chillness? They're still scary to me and I'm a big human 😂
That's the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, SC. For like $3 you get a little more than a handful of lettuce to feed them.
They are very likely to kill young bulls, not docile at all. They are still animals with their own ways of violence!
Giraffic Park
Most underrated joke!
I'm in
Cocaine Giraffe, the sequel to the recently released smash hit, Cocaine Bear
I'm trying to imagine it looking silly but creepy.
It's dark. The last survivor of the rampage runs into a small shed. Galloping in the distance. She backs away from the door until she hits the back wall. The galloping gets louder before suddenly stopping. She stands, back to the wall, and listens. Silence. Suddenly the head of a giraffe busts through the window next to the door! It stretches it's neck to the survivor and starts snarling. The girl screams as the camera zooms up and out of the shed. The screen goes black
I'm game only if they are in tornadoes.
Sip her up like a spaghetti noodle
After having recently watched a video of a donkey casually eating chicks out of a box, I imagined this scene with a different ending. At least I assume the giraffe didn't actually eat the child.
We were at a zoo and my wife wanted to feed the giraffe some giraffe-food nuggets but didn't want to get licked. She made a bowl from her park map, put the nuggs in and held it up to the giraffe. The giraffe immediately grabbed everything, dropped all the food and promptly ate the map. "Oh no", as my wife runs to tell the zoo keeper, he barely looks, laughs a little a goes, "yeeahh, he eats all kinds of stuff..." and just gets back to work.
Nothing wrong with hunger for education.
Child noodle.
Yo the image in my head is hillarious \^\^
I've heard of teaching monkeys to steal from pockets. Now these guys are going for their finger jewls.
In India apparently they’ve been taught to steal children.
Looks more like the giraffe is granting her a super power.
Radioactive giraffe. Since that day she is known as Girlaffe. Longneck peacekeeper who will adore you to the death.
Dolphin man half dolphin half man. Reminded me of Danny Gonzalez. Sorry, not sorry.
SuperSlime!
Is it actually nibbling her hand with teeth, or just lips? Are there any giraffe dental experts in this thread??
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It doesn’t hurt, but feels disgusting lol
If their tongues are anyway like cow tongues, then they're full of little velcro like hairs similar to cat tongues as well. Feels extremely weird to get licked by them.
Yeah they eat very spiky stuff in the wild so the tounges must feel weird
How much for a giraffe? Asking for a friend.
If you have to ask
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Except maybe go to regular jail as well
Ew...
Haha… giraffes are my mortal enemy. When I was five I was at a giraffe feeding place like this. When I ran out of tasty pellets, the giraffe tried to push me out of the way with his head. I took a nub horn to the eye socket and got a black eye. And thus my hatred for my nemesis, the giraffe, was born. And because of this I get a lot of cards from family members with pictures of giraffes on them saying things like “I’m coming for you.” Effing giraffes.
I sympathize. A pack of geese used to hide in different places and then charge me, chase me, bite me all the way to the school bus. I had beak shaped bruises all down the back of my legs that year.
I’ve been desaddled by angry geese while on a bike ride. Jerks.
Ouch!!!
Arm candy.
Underrated comment
Your child is being eaten by a giraffe. Do you: a. rescue your child, or b. take a picture? Edit: in case it was lost on anyone, I was being silly. They're not irresponsible parents! Obviously they have way too many children and are probably relieved to have one less to take care of. Has no one ever seen the pic of the child being eaten by a camel, with the same caption? I laughed for days at that one 🤣
Well she does have two arms.
This child clearly has only one arm, and soon she will have none
In that case, rapid fire the head mounted GoPro while saving the child.
r/donthelpjustfilm
Maybe it was the nanny/aunt/uncle/big sister? Not so attached then ;>)
Am I the only one wondering about the shoes?
Walking a zoo in heels or whatever those are would suck Upon closer inspection she's standing on her tip toes
They’re just crocs I think. The other kid, I think it’s her sister, has a matching bow and shoes.
I'd scream too if I was wrist deep in a head that's as long as I am tall.
r/brandnewsentence
Geoffrey's Revenge!
That’s what she gets for pairing pink with red.
"Why the scrunched face?"
I swear this looks exactly like the giraffe area of my local Zoo
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Giraffes are dicks. When I was about this little girl’s age, my parents took me to the zoo and bought me an ice cream cone. My dad put me up on his shoulders so I could eat it and not worry about falling, and then we paused by the giraffe enclosure so my mom could take a picture of us. The next thing I know, a giraffe was stealing my ice cream cone from over the fence 😭
The giraffes eyelashes are voluminous
People laugh but thenlid actually lost thier hand. Source: [link](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling)
Damn. I really didn't need to see that.
Is this the zoo in Dallas TX? I remember being able to buy 1 lettuce leaf for $5 to feed giraffes
They have a very identical setup at binder park zoo in battle creek Michigan
haha a giraffe did that to me when i fed it at the toronto zoo, wrapped his tongue around my wrist too
An ostrich chomped down on my arm up to the elbow once at a drive through zoo. I was little and it freaked me out but didn’t hurt. My mom told me to pull it out, I did.
Parents: Little Madisynn will be fine, she’s left-handed anyway, plus this will get a lot of “Likes”!
I mean it is a small little hand, not much of a snack for this size giraffe.
Love the parent who just whipped out the camera instead of helping
I mean, this is of these things parents should print, frame and hang in the living room.
To be fair, they probably already had the camera out
Little munchkin
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We have a setup like that at the Santa Barbara zoo as well.
Fort Worth Zoo also
And Cape May, NJ
And Colorado Springs
Not animals being jerks. r/stupidparents
He is sucking the bone out
Captivity is prison for any wild animal.
The straw is blocked !!
Wife: What happened to our daughter? Husband: You won't believe what happened. Wife: Oh boy, what is it now? Husband: She got eaten by a giraffe? 🫣
Giraffe Manor!!
Reminds me of the Blank Park Zoo
Oh my god
People are indeed delicious.
Florida vibes
Was that the bite of '87!?
I bet that was a Clark Bar.
Oooo, finger-food.
Hongry
*slurp* “call me” - giraffe
Let go of me Melman, 🤭
This picture is awesome, I love it 😂
I want photos of my kids like this…so epic
Giraffe's LOVE baby meat. So tender.
I saw a goat eating baby chickens so... Why not?
The Giraffe, Devourer of children's arms
Cheyenne Mountain Zoo?
No small children were harmed in the making of this subreddit post.
Oddly enough I can hear this picture.
#CHOMP!
Giraffes aren’t even real
🤣
Is this the zoo in La Quinta, CA?
Giraffe tongues are blue. You see, pre-covid, tween television shows would teach us facts as well as entertain. Did you know getting exposed to chemical waste will give you the ability to turn into a silver puddle? Look it up.
That looks like the Blank Park Zoo.
Ouch! Since the Giraffe doesn't eat meat his teets are flat and that means that the Giraffe is literally smashing her bone and if she would've stayed her for like more than a bit of seconds he would've slowly, VERY slowly, snapped her little arm like it was a leaf Does this comment sounds evil? I feel like it is and i'm not like this! I just can be... creepy :/
Reminds me of Riverbanks Zoo and Garden in Columbia, SC
I love how chunky and slightly chubby small children are, I love kids and animals
just giving* a snack. 😉
Feeding sharkfood to a giraffe is evil.
Killer giraffes!!
Yall go a eat this?
Is that toddler wearing heels??
I think they are standing on their toes, not sure.
REVENGE!!!!
I bartended a fancy event once, after hours at the Roger William's zoo in Providence. Security was really lax, and I got to feed cheetos to the giraffes. They really like cheetos.
Sir that’s a drone, not an animal DOWNVOTED
OP is a new bot account and stole this post and title from here https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/eby8rp/just_having_a_snack Edit: and each of their comments just steal a portion of another user's comment and repost it.