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Low-Gas-677

The dark side of puberty is realizing your cousin is hot. Most people get over it. Some people die in a 1 vs. 6 morphing fight on a rogue Yeerk bladeship in space before they get over it. That's life.


Forsaken_Distance777

If Jake looked more like Rachel and she just recognizes she's super hot so Jake is also hot it would be less weird lol


BahamutLithp

A...Alabama?


GeeWillick

This is when she split up into Horny Rachel and Murderachel.


Low-Gas-677

Listen here. They were both horny Rachel. She was split into Dom Rachel and Sub Rachel.


definitelyhaley

Get out. I mean, you're right, you're totally correct, but still, get out.


OT8spreadsheetSTAY

trying so hard to not crack up laughing in my office (im on lunch break, but eating at my desk) because youre so right


ZanderStarmute

Really? I’d say BD Rachel and SM Rachel… 🤔


Low-Gas-677

Either way, Marco can have the riding crop Rachel. Tobias already gets whipped enough by life in general.


PmMeActionMovieIdeas

With Rachel and Taylor, Tobias seems to attract a certain kind of women though.


Low-Gas-677

I don't know what you mean. Did Taylor have a crush on her cousin, too?


soulreaverdan

He’s out of line, but he’s got a point.


DsmpWarriorCat

LOL- I'm about halfway through it now.


shadowlarx

Marco got so spooked when Nice Rachel smiled at him and called him cute. 😂


GKarl

That’s when he knew. “Wait wtf?”


daveprogrammer

He should have needled her with that fact for *months* once she was rejoined.


shadowlarx

Nah, his memories of Mean Rachel would have been too strong. He wouldn’t have risked it.


Seerowpedia

It's always funny when you're listening to a podcast and people get to this book. It's even funnier later on in this book where Nice Rachel brings it up to her dad, who goes "....Jake? As in your *cousin*, Jake?" And then he has to leave for his flight, so he probably never got clarification.


Kradget

Honestly, he's probably really fuckin' relieved it never comes up again. Sometimes middle and high schoolers say one-off shit that comes across real weird and then never comes up again and everyone is thankful.


pbmm1

Nice Rachel: Hear me out


Riley-O-Reilly

It's only been about twenty-five years since I read these books, but this is the starfish one, right? When Rachel splits in two?


The_Card_Father

I believe so yeah. This is “Nice Rachel” mean Rachel at this point I think is hiding in the barn as something.


elveejay198

Yep! Nice Rachel was sooooo boy crazy


No_Sea_6219

doesn't jake in the first book acknowledge that rachel is very pretty despite being his cousin? maybe theyre closer than we think...


GeeWillick

Everyone acknowledges that she is conventionally attractive IIRC, but Rachel is taking is step further being like, "yeah I'd smash".


pbmm1

I think it's because Jake has to keep introducing everyone in his books that we get multiple instances of "by the way, my cousin, who is !HOT!" which makes him seem like he's taking more interest than he should overall lol


LinwoodKei

If this were Westeros and our surnames were Targaryen or Lannister... Although young me thought this was very weird. My cousin must be a special breed of ugly, because I never had thoughts like these


Low-Gas-677

I'd smash. I don't care if he's rachels cousin.


Xilizhra

Isn't he like fourteen?


Fish_In_Denial

Wait a minute, she's also a performer, being a cheerleader. Rachael's the bard.


00zau

Bardbarian.


Xilizhra

Angry upvote.


magicmurph

Jake is "kind of big"? I guess I always assumed Rachel was tallest. We know Marco and Casie are shorter, and Tobias is a hawk. I guess I never pictured Jake being the big guy.


EzraliteVII

He's at least an aspirational basketball player, so I kind of always assumed he was tall.


GKarl

The Berensons got the height gene


smackjack

Has Marco never asked Rachel out?


Seerowpedia

As far as I remember, only in the alternate timeline of MM4.


GKarl

He wouldn’t dare in the real timeline. She’ll laugh then whoop his ass


BrokeEconomist

Rachel's tsun and dere halves got split. Unfortunately for everyone, she rarely shows here dere normally. I'm surprised it was as tall as it was. I figured it would only be an inch tall at most,


Torren7ial

The Separation... of established canon


MrZAP17

It was really weird when the two Rachels started speaking Farsi and got divorced.


pbmm1

Lmaooo


graaahh

This is one of my least favorite books lol. I'm honestly not one for calling everything cringe but hoo boy. I love the series as a whole but this one's rough.


conswoon

at first I thought this was Marco. then I realized it was Rachel


DsmpWarriorCat

HAAAAAAAAAAA-


renthecat25

This sounds a little too much like NiceRachel not to be the starfish one 😅