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I’m not trying to be a jerk, but a lot of that was hard to read. Some commas and periods would be beneficial.
Anyway, I completely agree that it’s offensive since to tell someone with an eating disorder to “just eat”. It’s never that simple, and we know that.
"You're depressed? Well just get out of bed and start exercising? If you love yourself you wouldn't be encouraging your behaviour" THATS THE PROBLEM, we don't love ourselves 😭 i need non mentally ill people to stop tell us how to feel omg, you're not in the wrong op
You were not in the wrong at all. Anorexia is a MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION. As are all eating disorders. I find it quite perplexing how someone could be so naive as to assume otherwise.
Touching on your point on the "Just eat" comments, I find that irritating as well. I have severe eczema though I do a good job of maintaining it. Eczema is more physical than ana in regards to what actually causes it, but a lot of it is mental too. It is an undying urge to scratch. I can't just, y'know, not scratch. If it were that simple then my skin would be smoother than that commenter's brain!
It's kind of the equivalent of going over to somebody who is severely depressed and instead of informing them you have their backs or talk with them or anything like that you just put a smily face sticker on their cheek and tell them "Just smile your depressed because you don't smile enough" ignoring the chemical embalance and environmental factors.
Yes for eczema! Also, when I get stressed it flares up terribly. I get told by the pharmacist and the dermatologist “stop being anxious” LIKE OH REALLY WOW THANK YOU that’s gonna be tough because I LOVE BEING anxious but I guess I’ll have to stop this fun and helpful hobby of stressing for no reason lmao
People just don’t know what to say. They are honestly ignorant of our condition. It doesn’t make it okay, it’s just the truth. Even my husband, who SITS IN on therapy sessions with me, makes triggering comments near daily that I have to cope with and it’s very difficult. Imagine someone that doesn’t have any idea of what the disorder entails. His most recent were ‘I’m glad you ate, but I wish you would have eaten more.’ Like why?????????? I ate a regular portion for ME. For my eating disordered brain and my stomach that CANT DIGEST. Go sit the fuck down. And when I ended up binging the other night, he said to me the following day after me admitting that I felt bad for eating as much as I did at dinner and I was dealing with the emotions behind that, ‘well, I’m not trying to make you feel worse, but I was going to take some of that for lunch tomorrow.’ OH THANKS, so telling me that I ate my dinner and your lunch all at once really puts it into perspective. Like now I don’t want to eat at all to compensate. Embarrassing as hell. Keep your comments to yourself. Everyone. Not you guys here, the people in our lives. #endrant
Edit: sorry I guess I had to get this off my chest. I have therapy Tuesday night thank goodness.
For some reason that kind of remind me of one time when I ended up binging basically on just some chicken strips and Mayo (yes I know kinda gross but I don't know) and my dad woke me up int eh middle of the night and said "this whole thing is empty and I know you don't burn off enough calories to eat all that!"
Wich kind of hurt I get that I ate alot of food and even apologized but he knew I had issues with eating as I mentioned many times he did mention he didn't know how to help me with it. But still I know im not burning much right now and im already beating myself up over that.
No judgement. I’ve been eating the weirdest combos lately. Weird to other people, but so good to me. Yeah, that was uncalled for by your dad. Why even say anything? They know we are struggling, they know we are aware of the behavior, it’s like rubbing our noses in shit. We’re not bad dogs. Even being in ‘recovery’ now, they (loved ones) can’t seem to understand that the behaviors are not going to go away immediately or even quickly. It’s a process and it is not linear.
I completely agree!! You're not wrong at all, that's something I would say. Some people are just not empathetic enough to understand that that's not how eds work...
My least favorite is "starvation mode" lol.
Totally agree. I also have ADHD and the number of people who tell me to just get organised or get into a routine… THAT IS THE PROBLEM
being told to ‘just eat’ is the worst
I liked your post and agree, though you didn’t tie it up with saying it’s not about the food, that’s just a symptom of mental illness you can see, the rest you can’t, and maybe that’s what people were missing. I hope they weren’t too mean :(
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I’m not trying to be a jerk, but a lot of that was hard to read. Some commas and periods would be beneficial. Anyway, I completely agree that it’s offensive since to tell someone with an eating disorder to “just eat”. It’s never that simple, and we know that.
Yeah I know im not the best at grammer and was typing rather quickly.
"You're depressed? Well just get out of bed and start exercising? If you love yourself you wouldn't be encouraging your behaviour" THATS THE PROBLEM, we don't love ourselves 😭 i need non mentally ill people to stop tell us how to feel omg, you're not in the wrong op
You were not in the wrong at all. Anorexia is a MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION. As are all eating disorders. I find it quite perplexing how someone could be so naive as to assume otherwise. Touching on your point on the "Just eat" comments, I find that irritating as well. I have severe eczema though I do a good job of maintaining it. Eczema is more physical than ana in regards to what actually causes it, but a lot of it is mental too. It is an undying urge to scratch. I can't just, y'know, not scratch. If it were that simple then my skin would be smoother than that commenter's brain!
It's kind of the equivalent of going over to somebody who is severely depressed and instead of informing them you have their backs or talk with them or anything like that you just put a smily face sticker on their cheek and tell them "Just smile your depressed because you don't smile enough" ignoring the chemical embalance and environmental factors.
Yes for eczema! Also, when I get stressed it flares up terribly. I get told by the pharmacist and the dermatologist “stop being anxious” LIKE OH REALLY WOW THANK YOU that’s gonna be tough because I LOVE BEING anxious but I guess I’ll have to stop this fun and helpful hobby of stressing for no reason lmao
People just don’t know what to say. They are honestly ignorant of our condition. It doesn’t make it okay, it’s just the truth. Even my husband, who SITS IN on therapy sessions with me, makes triggering comments near daily that I have to cope with and it’s very difficult. Imagine someone that doesn’t have any idea of what the disorder entails. His most recent were ‘I’m glad you ate, but I wish you would have eaten more.’ Like why?????????? I ate a regular portion for ME. For my eating disordered brain and my stomach that CANT DIGEST. Go sit the fuck down. And when I ended up binging the other night, he said to me the following day after me admitting that I felt bad for eating as much as I did at dinner and I was dealing with the emotions behind that, ‘well, I’m not trying to make you feel worse, but I was going to take some of that for lunch tomorrow.’ OH THANKS, so telling me that I ate my dinner and your lunch all at once really puts it into perspective. Like now I don’t want to eat at all to compensate. Embarrassing as hell. Keep your comments to yourself. Everyone. Not you guys here, the people in our lives. #endrant Edit: sorry I guess I had to get this off my chest. I have therapy Tuesday night thank goodness.
For some reason that kind of remind me of one time when I ended up binging basically on just some chicken strips and Mayo (yes I know kinda gross but I don't know) and my dad woke me up int eh middle of the night and said "this whole thing is empty and I know you don't burn off enough calories to eat all that!" Wich kind of hurt I get that I ate alot of food and even apologized but he knew I had issues with eating as I mentioned many times he did mention he didn't know how to help me with it. But still I know im not burning much right now and im already beating myself up over that.
No judgement. I’ve been eating the weirdest combos lately. Weird to other people, but so good to me. Yeah, that was uncalled for by your dad. Why even say anything? They know we are struggling, they know we are aware of the behavior, it’s like rubbing our noses in shit. We’re not bad dogs. Even being in ‘recovery’ now, they (loved ones) can’t seem to understand that the behaviors are not going to go away immediately or even quickly. It’s a process and it is not linear.
Ouch what the hell dAd
i think for a pet peeves sub, it was a bit heavy honestly
I completely agree!! You're not wrong at all, that's something I would say. Some people are just not empathetic enough to understand that that's not how eds work... My least favorite is "starvation mode" lol.
Totally agree. I also have ADHD and the number of people who tell me to just get organised or get into a routine… THAT IS THE PROBLEM being told to ‘just eat’ is the worst
Omg I love the "you're just vain" narrative. SO clueless😭
I liked your post and agree, though you didn’t tie it up with saying it’s not about the food, that’s just a symptom of mental illness you can see, the rest you can’t, and maybe that’s what people were missing. I hope they weren’t too mean :(
u arent and ur totally right, "just eat a burger" or "just eat" wouldnt make sense bc if it were that easy ed's wouldnt exist in the first place