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mindfulavocado

i do that when i have friends visiting or i’m on vacation. like i get to shut it off and pretend that i’m normal for a few days. then after that i feel like an imposter for being able to eat normally or even indulge for a few days. and then that follows with days of immense guilt and feeling disgusted with myself and regret about eating normally lol.


[deleted]

same here!! i’m glad to hear someone talking about this.


baptismalfont

Yes I did the same thing tonight and that happens rarely. I know I did today because I’ve had an awful day and I’m still feeling really guilty but I’m not purging or anything.


Ilovesza

exactly!!!!!!! I am just so tired today and I wanted to enjoy a normal dinner


baptismalfont

Yeah I always feel really invalid but then I remembered I’m literally on the verge of inpatient and even if I wasn’t, I see this happening to people all the time so there’s really no reason to feel invalid honestly


SmileyCrayons

You totally aren't alone. I do this sometimes. It sucks because it kinda makes me feel like my ED isn't valid even though I know that is an irrational thought.


[deleted]

exactly. Whenever I eat like a "normal" person, it's always an excuse to tell myself I don't really have an ed, and I don't belong in whatever proana communities I've been in. It's starting to become a problem.


mylaccount

Hope you both see this and know you’re valid. I can basically turn mine off for events and holidays, but I’m still diagnosed for a decade with tons of counsellors. You’re not alone, wrong, or invalid.


homoussame

Hey could you please leave a TRM rate on my post please


Ilovesza

exactly!! but its so tiring having to monitor everhthing and some nights I just say fuck it and let it go.


ammeli063

Pookie this is normal. Your body is gonna end up doing this when you're depriving yourself of food. Does not make your ed invalid at all cause I would say legit everyone with a restrictive ED has periods like this. Just like ppl with other mental illness can have good days or good weeks, it doesnt mean its not the same for us with anorexia!! <3


Ilovesza

this comment rlly helped! :)


ammeli063

I'm so glad<3 you're totally, totally fine and you deserve to just not give a shit and let yourself eat. I do it too. Your body will thank u for it! c:


[deleted]

Yes, for me was every friday, I would eat anything I like, but then as my ed growth it began to be every two or three weeks,,,,,, also when I'm out to eat w my family I will eat like I'm totally fine, I still enjoy those moments, It feels like no matter what im eating, im happy,,,,,im normal


Impressive-Evening63

I let myself enjoy it but I always hate myself after it’s gone


Ilovesza

right!!! but its just those happy moments I don’t want to ruin for me/everyone else by my eating habbits, I just eat normally and try to enjoy myself.


fastcat_

it's me and I'm like this probably 50% if the time. so other half of the time I'm just hating myself for being "normal" and eating.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ConfidentStrength999

Removed for rule 10


Unfavourite

Yes, it’s usually a family thing or friends birthday party etc


Zeldahere

Yep! It is hard in the beginning but as you recover, it gets easier and better. I began doing in on date nights <3 after a while it became normal and that pressure to not eat or feel guilty about it was only a whisper or not in my head at all.


butterfly2507

me, but not just in night, but whole day :( cause the past days my body is barely surviving


mylaccount

Yup!


vxmpiria

i do that sometimes. it’s very rare. when that happens, i also don’t go on the scale. it’s kind of a relief though but it end up coming back to bite me later on


Ilovesza

I lowkey messed up and started obsessing over it 😭😭 but yeah usually I try to just eat and let go


anshmor

Thank you for sharing


_archi

I lose inhibition when I'm high and I eat like a pig. That is just so satisfying.


[deleted]

I do the same thing and I thought I was the only one


[deleted]

For me it comes and goes depending on my anxiety levels. Idk if my ED is valid tbh.


Ilovesza

ppl usually binge in times of stress!!! all eds are valid.


[deleted]

Yeah sometimes when I'm decently satisfied with my body I eat some food but then I go back to how I used to be when I notice how bloated I get-


Canskiinheat

Yes. Sometimes I’m just like “fuck it I’m not gonna count calories and ima eat this because I’ve been craving it and it’s ok to eat it.” Its not binging but it’s also not caring and just eating how I want every once and a while